James D. Pewter had been a law-abiding citizen, until the tender age of twenty-five. Then he'd become a henchman for hire, and ended up in the ranks of Dr. Drakken. It had been an okay gig, considering he constantly had his butt handed to him by a girl half his size.
But then things got weird. Drakken went legit, Shego dropped off the face of the planet, and the old gang started pulling odd jobs with little or no leadership. It was touch and go for a while, until James had stepped in with a semblance of organization and order. The goons had quickly rallied around him, and they soon had the makings of a decent goon squad.
All of which had led them to the Middleton First National Bank this fine day in July. They had cased the place for a week, and the robbery was proceeding with little deviation from the plan. Not that James had expected any problems. Despite the fact that this was Kim Possible's hometown, it was well-known that she had retired fresh out of high school. No one in the gang knew why, and really, no one cared, so long as it meant she wouldn't be dropping in on them.
Although it was pretty sweet, knowing they were getting away with this in her old stomping grounds.
James grinned to himself as another of his boys ran past, hauling a sack of cash with him. Crime really did pay, it seemed.
“Hey, Jimmy!” the lookout called from the bank's main entrance. “What'd you say the wheelman was supposed to be driving?”
Jimmy frowned. “Big black van, same as always. Why?”
“I think there's been a change of plans. This monster truck just pulled up, and there's a big guy with-”
“FREEZE!”
Jimmy whipped around, his grip tightening on the double-ended shock staff he'd kept from his days with Drakken. His gaze landed on the safe, which was currently being blocked by a young girl. She had no red hair or green eyes, so Jimmy instantly relaxed.
“Okay, boys. Now, why don't you put all that money back where you found it?” she asked sweetly. “Before I have to get tough on you.”
Jimmy barely suppressed the urge to laugh. “Sorry, sweetheart. They only take orders from me, and I say we're going ahead with the plan.”
The blonde arched an eyebrow. “Really? Then I guess you're the one I have to make an example of.” As she spoke, her wristwatch seemed to melt and flow down her arm, encasing it in a thin, metallic sheen. She flicked her wrist, and Jimmy howled as three tiny darts embedded themselves in his neck. He stumbled into the wall, barely avoiding paralyzing himself with his own shock staff.
“GET ‘ER!” Jimmy shouted hoarsely.
The blonde quicky found herself surrounded by a circle of goons, but she didn't seem concerned. Instead, she yawned and studied her nails.
That was when a second girl emerged from the safe, carrying what looked like a short staff with a star on the end of it. The brunette took one look at the scene and declared, “We really shouldn't. They're outnumbered as it is.”
“I asked them nicely, and they said no,” the blonde pointed out.
“Oh. Well, in that case.” The brunette casually flipped her hair, tossing the staff in a fluid motion. In a matter of seconds, it circle the room, slamming into the jaw of each goon. By the time the staff returned to her hand, the men were sprawled out on the floor, moaning in pain.
Jimmy was furious. No way he was getting shut down by two Kim Possible wanna-bes. Though he'd never had cause to use it, he went for the gun on his belt, drawing a bead on the blonde.
Suddenly, there was a loud roar outside, just before the back wall exploded, spraying Jimmy with dust and debris. He just barely dove aside in time as a monster truck came crashing down next to him. Jimmy was still shaking the stars away when a huge, strong hand grabbed the back of his neck and hauled him into the air. He found himself staring down at a bear of a man…with a mullet.
“Dude. Trying to cash in the Righteous Babes is totally lame! Seriously.”
Jimmy blinked, just before a huge fist crashed into his face.
Bonnie Rockwaller growled in frustration as she rapidly brushed the dust from her hair. Somehow, her hair always, ALWAYS got dirty when she was forced to work with that big lummox. She stood up to give him a piece of her mind when she noticed that her partner hadn't been so fortunate.
Tara King hissed softly as she carefully ripped open the tear in her black pants, revealing a small, bloodstained wound just above her ankle. It was probably nothing serious, but first gunshot wounds were always the hardest, Bonnie knew from experience.
She had only taken a step forward when a huge shape lumbered out of the dust cloud still hanging behind Tara. Bonnie's hand flew to her weapon. “Hold it, dirtbag!”
“Chill out, Righteous Babe Number Three. Motor Ed to the rescue!”
Bonnie scowled, tempted to throw her staff at him, anyway. “For future reference, startling a guy with a gun is so NOT a good idea! And do you have to destroy an entire wall every single time we go somewhere?”
By then, though, Motor Ed had noticed Tara's injury. “Hold the phone! Righteous Babe down! MEDIC!”
Before Bonnie could stop him, he scooped up Tara and headed back to his monster truck, scrambling up the enormous tire with uncanny ease. Sighing, she ran to catch up, though it took her a little longer to haul herself into the truck. She was decidedly annoyed to see that Tara was situated in Motor Ed's lap. And she was hardly trying to get out of it, either.
“Strap in, Three!” Motor Ed barked, fishing his keys out of his shirt pocket. He almost had them to the ignition when Bonnie smacked his hand away.
“Hel-lo? You can't drive with her on your lap!” Bonnie snapped. “She needs to keep that leg elevated!”
Tara glared at Bonnie before sighing. “She's right, Eddie.” She slid out of his lap, only to squeal in surprise as Bonnie grabbed her good leg and dragged her away from Motor Ed. “Bonnie!”
“I'm keeping it elevated,” Bonnie said with a thin smile, placing Tara's ankles in her lap.
Tara pouted, but smiled as she leaned back and rested her head against Motor Ed's muscular arm, earning another scowl from Bonnie. “Whenever you're ready, Eddie.”
“You got it, Righteous Babe Number Two! Let's gun it!” Motor Ed started up the truck and jammed his foot on the accelerator.
Bonnie screamed as the truck lurched forward and plowed through the opposite wall, creating a sizeable drive-thru window in the bank. “WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU MANIAC!”
“AIIIIIIIIII-YEAH! WE'RE ALL MANIACS, BONNIE-BABE!” Motor Ed shouted over the heavy metal music pounding in their ears.
“THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! TARA, TELL HIM TO STAY ON THE ROAD!”
“Drive inside the lines, Eddie,” Tara reminded him, sounding far too calm and unconcerned for her best friend's liking.
“TARA!” Bonnie screeched.
“What? He's inside the lines!”
“BUT HE'S ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!”
“There's less traffic. See how everyone swerves out of his way? It's better than being in an ambulance!” Tara beamed and tugged on Motor Ed's arm. “Do the siren, Eddie!”
“NO!” Bonnie wailed, covering her ears.
Motor Ed stuck his head out of the window. “AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YEAH! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, DUDES! MEDICAL EMERGENCY TO THE MAX! SERIOUSLY!”
Bonnie yanked out her cell phone and dialed a number. “Shego, you get me out of here this instant! They're doing the siren again!”
“Can't hear you over all the noise, Rockwaller,” Shego replied, laughter in her tone. “Think you could speak up?”
“PLEASE HELP ME!”
“Okay, okay. Put the goofball on speakerphone.”
“Hey! HEY!” Bonnie shouted over the music. “The boss wants to talk to you two!”
Tara actually looked a little worried, but Motor Ed grinned.
“HEY! Righteous Babe Numero Uno!”
Shego didn't sound quite as amused anymore. “Cool it, Captain Mullet. No more sirens. I think anyone that sees a monster truck, on the wrong side of the road, bearing down on them, will get the message and swerve to avoid being turned into roadkill. King, stop encouraging him, because I know you were.”
“We were just having a little fun!” Tara said defensively. “Eddie was trying to cheer me up, since I got shot.”
“It's just a graze!” Bonnie insisted hotly.
“You want to cheer up, King, look at Bonnie's face when Ed makes a turn. No sirens. We clear on that?” Shego's tone left no room for argument.
“Yes, sir ma'am,” Tara replied meekly.
“Good girl. Nice work today. But the repair fees from the bank are coming out of your pay. Again. All in all, a typical day for Team Regal. See you back at HQ.”
“I'm putting in for a transfer as soon as we get back,” Bonnie muttered. “I can't work under these conditions.”
“Ah, chill out, Three!” Motor Ed laughed. “Uncle Ed will even get you one of those diet shakes you like so much. Seriously.”
“You have to admit, he spoils us,” Tara added with a grin.
Bonnie mumbled something under her breath and crossed her arms over her chest. Some things were worth going through for a frosty diet shake, but in her opinion, this wasn't one of them.
Shego leaned back in her chair, wondering once again if it was healthy to be such a genius.
Though she hadn't known it at the time, Kim had taken her whole ‘quit-while-you're-ahead’ speech to heart, and had dropped out of the hero business (not that she ever got paid) when she graduated. Wade converted her website into a virtual scrapbook of completed missions, and even with the parts on Drakken and Shego mysteriously absent, it was an impressive sight.
Kim could've done anything she wanted at that point. Her first thought had been college, and perhaps a job on the side to keep her busy.
That, however, was when Shego suggested they move into their own place and consider other options. Which was really another way of saying she knew exactly what they were both going to be doing for the next few years.
Even though she'd been warned beforehand, Kim was not happy when she found out that Shego had turned her former cheerleading teammates into what she considered a personal army of Kim clones. But the fact was, they had all been well-trained, and there was definitely a need for them, now that everyone knew Kim was retired. There was also a need for Kim's expertise, and she soon found herself Head of Deployment. Sending her friends into danger was not an easy task, but she knew their individual strengths and weaknesses better than anyone, so picking the right jobs for them wasn't as hard as she'd feared.
That had only been half of Shego's plan, though. She'd salvaged the few of Drakken's henchmen that were smart enough to follow orders and dumb enough not to question working for the wrong side. Not that many of them had complaints about being paired up with two beautiful young women. The rest were just glad to be working under Shego again.
The key to the whole operation, however, was that Shego insisted that her teams be paid. Kim had been afraid that no one would go for it. As it turned out, however, most of her former clients had always been willing and able to pay. But since she always refused payment, they stopped offering. Even better, Shego allowed the girls to negotiate their payment with each client, so the complaints of high costs were few and far between.
Money had only been tight for the first few months, but once the girls and goons were divided into three-person teams and outfitted with gadgets from Load & Lipsky Tenchnologies (Kim had gotten a good laugh out of that one), the money hadn't stopped coming in.
There was only one bad apple in the bunch: Team Regal, named for Tara King and “Queen” Bonnie Rockwaller. Probably the worst thing was that no man had met Bonnie's approval, and she made their lives hell until they quit or were transferred. This had gone on until Kim put her foot down and assigned them a permanent partner: Motor Ed. Amazingly, it had worked. Bonnie still complained, but for the most part she was tuned out. Ed was fiercely protective of his girls, and Tara had been smitten with him since day one. The team now had a tendency to run wild and rack up enough damages to keep them in the red, but no one could deny that they always got the job done. It wasn't as if Shego couldn't afford to cover the costs, and aside from that, no one else would dare work with Bonnie.
Monique was a people person. That was how she'd gotten a sales job at Club Banana. That was why she'd eventually quit rather than gotten fired. That was why Shego had given her this cushy desk job (the salary alone had lured her away from Club Banana). All she really had to do was be herself and deal with the occasional nut job.
That was beauty of being a receptionist at a secret security service. They were public, but only in private circles. As such, only so many people even knew about them. Most were filthy rich and well connected. The rest only wished they were.
They all had to go through Monique, though.
Or, they all had to try.
Monique had developed an eye and an ear for people that would and wouldn't be dealt with. Shego didn't like to waste time, so it was a necessary and useful skill.
Sometimes, it was really just too obvious, though.
For example, when Adrena Lynn marched in for the fifth time in two weeks, Monique's hand went immediately to the silent security alarm. Her smile stayed perfectly in place, however. She didn't bother with the usual greeting, knowing full well that the woman already had a rant in mind.
Adrena Lynn did not disappoint.
“I am NOT leaving until you hire me!” she screeched.
Wordlessly, Monique slid an application across the desk.
Adrena instantly slammed down a completed application. The very same one that had, along with her, been ejected forcibly from the building four times already. It was a little dirty by now, but still perfectly legible.
Not that it mattered in the least.
Monique cleared her throat…and decided to be creative this time. “Are you aware of our affirmative action policy?”
Adrena blinked. “What?”
Monique rolled her eyes. “Are you a representative of an oppressed people and/or minority?”
“No! But what does that have to do with-”
“Did your ancestors suffer through slavery, attempted genocide, or any other large-scale mistreatment?”
Adrena scowled. “No, but that's not my fau-”
“Do you consider yourself African American, Black, Hispanic, Latino, Native American, Indian, or Alaskan Native?”
Adrena was starting to see a pattern here. “…yes?”
Monique smirked. “Then your Indian name must be Crazy White She-Devil, cuz you look like all three to me, which makes you Shit Outta Luck.” Her smile widened. “Oh, and have a blessed day.”
Furious, Adrena opened her mouth to protest, but a firm hand landed on her shoulder.
“I'm afraid that's sexual harassment, Ms. Lynn, and she doesn't have to take it anymore!”
Adrena whipped around, glaring incredulously at Ron Stoppable's smug face. “What the hell are you talking about? We're both girls!”
“That's the worst kind,” Ron replied, tightening his grip on her shoulder. “You think just because this kind, honest, hard-working woman is but a receptionist, that you can take advantage of her? FOR SHAME!”
“Cryin’ shame ‘fore the Lord,” Monique added, filing her nails.
“Now wait just a minute!” Adrena shouted. “I didn't do anything to her!”
Ron stared at the woman. “Are you saying,” he said softly, “that you did NOT sexually harass this fine woman?”
“And he does mean fine,” Monique chimed in distractedly.
Adrena looked at them both as if they were crazy. “No! I didn't do anything to her!”
“Well, that tears it!” Ron cried angrily. “By NOT attempting to sexually harass this woman, you have directly insulted her pride as a woman and a Nubian fertility goddess! I have no choice but to escort you from the premises!”
“NO, DAMN YOU!” Adrena screamed as Ron dragged her away. “I WAS SO CLOSE!”
“Tell your story walking, Lynn.”
Monique shook her head and picked up the phone. “Shego, we just sent Lynn packing again. Is there any reason why we keep doing that?”
“It's fun, isn't it?” Shego asked.
“Well, yeah.”
“That's all that matters.”
“But didn't she used to be into extreme stunts?”
“She used to be into faking them. But that's not why.”
“Why, then?”
“She forced Kimmie to save a boy. A dumb jock who wasn't worthy of her time.”
“I think it's safe to say you have a problem with holding grudges.”
“Do not. I happen to be very good at it.”
“That's the problem, Shego.”
“You know, I'm pretty sure you can get fired for talking back to your boss in most places.”
“After I just got through telling Lynn about our expansive affirmative action policy?” Monique asked in surprise.
“You know damn well we don't have one.”
“Yeah, but she didn't. See how valuable I am? I keep the common folk away from Queen Shego.”
“Yet you insist on keeping that common boyfriend of yours around.”
“Hey! My Ronnie is as uncommon as they come!”
“I have to admit I've never seen anyone else so afraid of monkeys.”
“I seem to recall having someone with Mystical Monkey capabilities on staff has helped out in the past. I also recall your options are rather limited in that area.”
“I hate you when you're right.” There was a brief pause. “You up for dinner?”
“Only if we can wait for Ron to get back from throwing out Lynn.”
“Ugh. Make sure he washes his hands.”
Kim Possible had been very, very naughty. Although that was really more a matter of perspective.
From Shego's perspective, it would no doubt earn her a great deal of shouting and an entire evening of proof that wrestling could indeed be very, very real, and very, very painful.
They had agreed, more or less, that Shego's security service would be her number one priority above all others. And while this was still true, the fact remained that the job left Kim with an abundance of free time that had, until now, been thoroughly wasted. Perhaps they had both expected it to be more time-consuming, but it wasn't, and Kim was getting bored in between deployments.
So she'd had Wade put out some feelers, and had been accepted into several top online colleges. That was the easy part.
The hard part, Kim realized with a sinking feeling as she glanced to her right, was telling Shego that'd she'd done so behind her back.
It wasn't just that, though. Shego was educated herself, but almost reluctantly so, it seemed at times. She was of the opinion that everything she really needed to know, she'd learned as a criminal. She felt the same way about Kim's crimefighting (except for the not getting paid part). In short, Shego had something against traditional public schooling, though she would never come out and say what it was. She had been all too happy the day Kim had graduated, because she had never gotten a better chance to get Kim out of school for good.
It had worked…for a while.
Shego had insisted that being the spawn of a neurosurgeon and a rocket scientist had endowed Kim with more than enough smarts, and that crimefighting had filled in the rest. Yet it was those very traits that convinced Kim that she needed to finish her education.
Also several calls from her parents, but Shego didn't need to know about those.
Maybe dinner was the wrong place to do it, but if anything, Ron and Monique's presence would keep Shego from making too big a scene. If they'd been alone, Shego wouldn't have thought twice about tearing the restaurant apart in her fury at being defied.
Although, Shego had never exactly forbid Kim from going to college. But there was little doubt in Kim's mind that Shego would be upset about not being consulted on such a big decision.
If things really got messy, she was almost positive that between her and Ron, they could keep Shego in check. Maybe. Kim was perfectly capable of doing it herself, but she was finding it harder and harder to raise a hand against Shego outside of sparring sessions. She used to think that only someone like Shego would consider being in love a setback, but it was definitely sinking its hooks into her now.
Kim waited until they'd finished eating before reaching over to rub Shego's thigh.
Shego didn't even blink. “You did something bad, didn't you, Kimmie?”
“What makes you say that?” Kim asked, trying not to sound guilty.
“You never resort to public displays of affection unless you've been bad,” Shego replied with a sigh. “So spit it out already.”
“Why do I have to have done something? Can't I just be so attracted to you that I want to touch you no matter where we are?”
“Yeah,” Shego admitted. “But you're sweating bullets and I haven't even touched you yet.” Her eyes narrowed. “You really want to add lying to whatever you already need to be punished for?”
Kim bit her lip. “Shego, please don't be mad at me, but…I've been accepted into some online colleges.”
“Don't you usually have to apply to those first?” Shego asked.
“…yeah,” Kim whispered, lowering her head.
“So you went behind my back, AND you copped a feel under false pretenses,” Shego snapped, jerking her leg away from Kim's hand.
“But…you're not mad about me going to college?” Kim asked.
“I would be, if you'd just come to me and said you wanted to. But I'm more pissed about the other two, now.” Shego sipped her black coffee. “I'm hurt, Kimmie. Deeply hurt.”
“You don't sound deeply hurt,” Kim observed. “You sound like you're gonna get me back for this when I least expect it.”
“Let's just say…we're even,” Shego replied, smirking.
“Why is that?” Kim asked warily.
“I hired the tweebs,” Shego answered calmly.
“WHAT!”
Suddenly, it was Ron trying to hold Kim back.
Ron laughed nervously. “KP, people are looking at-”
“SHEGO!”
Shego smiled. “Yes, my sweet little Kimmie?”
“How could you? No, WHY would you?”
“I needed a bomb squad.”
Kim laughed. “You're insane! All they DO is blow stuff up!”
“Obviously, you're a little vague on my definition of what a bomb squad is supposed to do. I WANT them to blow stuff up,” Shego clarified.
“You're going to pay them to make bombs!”
“No, I'm going to pay them to do what they already do. I'm counting on the fact that over sixty percent of their inventions explode for no reason at all.”
Kim couldn't exactly fault Shego's logic. “My parents don't know about this?”
“Of course not. And they're not going to find out, if you want me to forgive you this time. Otherwise, we can try out this hold I saw on TV the other day. I think they call it the Crippler Crossface.”
Kim had no idea what that was, but it sounded unpleasant, at least. “Fine. We're even.”
“Then come here and seal the deal with a kiss. If you're not too angry, that is.”
Scowling, Kim returned to her seat and kissed Shego, biting her lover's lip a bit as she pulled away.
“You should know by now that only turns me on,” Shego teased.
“I agree with Shego,” Ron said hoarsely, earning a dark look from Kim.
Monique elbowed him. “You've had your free peep show, white boy. Don't push it.”
“It's not my fault! It's totally unnatural for a guy to look away when two girls kiss!”
“He's got a point,” Shego agreed. “It's really asking a lot of him just to be in the same room as me.”
Monique glared at her. “There is only ONE fertility goddess at this table!”
“Please, ‘nique. You're a demigoddess at best. You have ONE worshipper. And even he can be swayed by the tiniest bit of HLA. You have no choice but to admit defeat…or join us.”
Ron took a deep breath…and fainted.
“You two really need to stop that,” Kim admonished, lifting Ron's head off of his plate.
“It's fun,” Shego and Monique replied defensively.
“Merciless teasing is not fun.”
“Who said we were teasing?” Shego asked.
Monique's smile faded. “You weren't?”
Shego rolled her eyes. “Hell no. I never joke about HLA.”
“But you're with Kim!”
“I SAID you could join US.”
“Shego, I can't believe you!” Monique cried. Although she didn't look half as disgusted as Kim would've liked.
“Monique!” Kim cried.
“What? I'm outraged!”
“You're DROOLING!”
“It's Ron's,” Monique said quickly, wiping her mouth. “Must've ricocheted off of something.”
“I think it's time to go,” Kim snapped. “And I never thought I'd have to say this, but don't you DARE look at Shego's butt when we leave!”
“Pixie Scout's honor,” Monique said, raising her hand.
Kim muttered to herself as she stormed off.
“You watched her butt instead, didn't you?” Shego asked.
Monique grinned. “She only made me promise not to watch yours.”
“You've learned well, my young padawan.” Shego stood up. “I really wasn't teasing, you know.”
“I'm aware.”
“Are you?”
“I'm aware enough,” Monique corrected. “Now stop trying to cheat on Kim with me.”
“Is it cheating if she's there?”
“…probably.”
“But is it wrong if she's there?”
“…good night, Shego.”
“Wimp,” Shego sniffed as she followed Kim out of the restaurant.
Monique shook her head, then reached over and patted Ron's. “Hey, white boy. They're giving out free dessert.”
“WHERE!” Ron cried, his head snapping up.
“Kidding. But if you come home with me right now, maybe I'll be your dessert.”
“Can we use sprinkles this time? And whipped cream?” Ron asked eagerly.
“Don't get greedy,” Monique replied, tapping his nose. “Sprinkles OR whipped cream.”
“Aw, man…”
“And you're sure this is bulletproof?” Tara asked, stretching out the black sweater in front of her.
“Well, no,” Tim Possible answered.
“That's why we need a lovely assistant to test it,” Jim added.
“So how are you going to do that?” Tara wondered aloud.
“We kinda have to shoot you,” Tim explained.
“You have guns in here?” Tara asked in surprise.
“No. Plasma catapults,” Jim replied. “But if it can survive them, we're on the right track.”
“Shego said so,” Tim agreed.
“Oh. Well, if the boss thinks it's a good idea, go ahead.” Tara pulled on the sweater.
“COOL!” The twins ran to set up what certainly looked like a large gun on wheels.
“You're just going to shoot once, right?” Tara asked, but the twins didn't seem to hear her.
“FIRE!”
The gun let out a loud roar as a greenish blob flew from the barrel, sailing through the air and landing neatly at Tara's feet, where it fizzled out with a tiny puff of smoke.
“We need more power,” Tim sighed.
“We need Shego,” Jim sighed as well. “Nothing shoots it like her.”
Tara blinked. “So…are we done here?”
“Just a second!” the twins shouted, ducking behind the gun.
“Okay.” Tara leaned against the wall, humming softly as the twins made their adjustments. She was just about to ask how long this would take when someone tapped her shoulder.
“Excuse me, but could you tell me where I might find-”
“HEY! I know you!” Tara cried gleefully.
The thin, pale man blinked. “You do?”
“Yeah! You used to be blue! You're Doctor Drakken, right?”
“Uh…I go by Dr. Lipsky now, actually,” he replied hesitantly. “But yes, I was. As I was saying, could you tell me where I might find Shego?”
“Oh, she's already gone for the day. She and Kim went out to eat. But if you stick around, I think I could get a hold of her.”
“Okay, we're ready now!” Tim called.
“Might wanna take a deep breath!” Jim advised.
Dr. Lipsky frowned thoughtfully. “Is that a plasma launcher?”
“Catapult,” Tara corrected.
“But I don't see an external power source. So what is it running on?”
“We reconfigured it a second ago,” Tim explained. “We found a limitless power source!”
“…what?”
“Air!”
“Actually, it runs on a certain kind of air. The very same generated in the typical human breath. Show him, Jim.”
Jim bent down behind the gun and prepared to take a deep breath.
Dr. Lipsky's eyes widened. “NO! STOP!”
Tara stared at him. “What? They're just-”
There was a sound not unlike a sonic boom, and Tara suddenly found herself on the floor with Dr. Lipsky sprawled on top of her. She was about to be angry when she noticed the large, smoking hole in the wall just over their heads.
“Deep breaths,” Dr. Lipsky panted as he helped Tara up, “aren't really necessary. As you can hopefully see now.”
“Oh,” the twins responded. “Our bad!”
The man sighed and ran a hand through his thinning black hair. “Does Shego always let them conduct experiments without supervision?”
Tara blushed. “I was, um…supposed to be keeping an eye on them. But then they called me a lovely assistant, and, well…I kinda forgot.”
“Ah.” While Dr. Lipsky wasn't about to call the young woman's loveliness into question, he had some serious doubts about her judgment capacities. He decided it was best not to point out that she'd nearly become little more than a smear on the wall. “Maybe I should just come back tomorrow.” His eyes drifted back to the twins, who seemed to be considering firing again. “But first, I'm going to give them a few pointers.”
Shego got something of a shock when she walked into the lab the next morning.
There were scorch marks everywhere, but she hardly noticed them.
What she did notice was the tweebs and Drew Lipsky laughing madly as they downed a suspicious reddish liquid from beakers at a rapid rate.
Shaking her head, Shego marched over to them and cleared her throat. “What have you done to my lab?”
“Ah, Shhhhhhego!” Dr. Lipsky slurred, a big smile plastered across his face. “So good to ssssssee you again!”
“Okay, someone's had enough.” Shego plucked the beaker from his hand and sniffed. Frowning, she took a sip. “You've got to be kidding me. You got drunk on a Shirley Temple?”
“Fifty-seven Shirley Temples,” Tim added. “After a while, we just stopped trying to make him stop, it was so funny.”
“This is just sad, even for you, Dr. D,” Shego sighed.
Dr. Lipsky looked like he wanted to correct her, but then his head dropped weakly onto her shoulder, and he began to snore loudly.
“He helped us fix the plasma catapult,” Jim pointed out.
“And was that before or after he got drunk?” Shego asked.
“Before,” Tim replied.
“Mostly,” Jim chimed in.
“Huh.” Shego rubbed the bridge of her nose. “What happened to Tara?”
“She went home around Shirley Temple number seven.”
The twins looked at each other and smirked. “Lightweight.”
“Did either of you geniuses think to call home, considering you were here all night?”
“Sure,” Tim said. “We told Mom and Dad we were here.”
“With you,” Jim added.
The twins glanced at each other. “They REALLY wanna talk to you.”
Shego barely held in a growl. “I don't suppose you thought to call them before dousing yourselves with Shirley Temples?”
Tim shook his head. “Nope. It was already too late. Dad gets really cranky when the phone wakes him up at night.”
“So we waited until five in the morning.” Jim grinned at her.
Shego slowly counted to ten, for all the good it did. “Are you trying to punish me, or do you actually not know how vexing this all is?”
“We'd never vex you,” Tim responded, looking insulted.
Jim nodded and grinned. “Yeah! We LIKE you!”
Shego wondered if it would be totally inappropriate to burst into tears, and not the happy kind, either.
Kim was almost done with her shower when the bathroom door opened and closed. Grabbing a rather pointy bottle of shampoo, she peeked around the curtain.
Shego was banging her head against the mirror.
Kim turned off the water. “Um…Shego?”
Thankfully, Shego stopped. “We're not even anymore. You owe me.”
“For what?” Kim asked, a little defensively.
“For being related to, and expecting me to marry into, a family that contains those little monsters.”
“Didn't you used to call them your little monsters?”
“That was before they got me in trouble and broke my stuff.”
“So? Motor Ed does that all the time.”
“No, he breaks everyone else's stuff and I end up paying for it. Big difference.”
“Not really. And since I'm such a loving partner, I won't toss in a ‘told-you-so’ like some people I know.”
“You're all heart, Kimmie.” Shego allowed her gaze to lock on Kim's towel-clad, dripping wet form. “Well, mostly.”
“Don't even think about it. I'm helping Mom in surgery today, and I can't be late.”
“You wouldn't technically be late if we made out in the hovercraft on the way.”
“Who would drive?”
“Monique. She loves getting out of the office once in a while. Ron can watch the desk.”
“And this isn't a plot to get Monique involved in our making out?”
Shego looked shocked. “Why, Kimmie! Are you suggesting that we let Monique join in on our lovemaking?” Her face split into a grin. “Well, if you insist, I'm not gonna fight you on it.”
“NO. Monique is a friend, not a lover.”
“That's not what Ron says.”
“Monique is OUR friend, not our lover.”
“She could be.”
“Shego, no.”
“Ron could join in, too, if you want.”
“And what,” Kim snapped, “makes you think I would want Ron to join in?”
“Just tossing it out there.”
“Toss it BACK in.”
“You used to be so open-minded.”
“Not about us. I don't like the idea of sharing you with anyone.”
“That's hardly fair. Monique and Ron have to share you with me.”
“Not in THAT way, though.”
“Only because you wouldn't let them. You practically drove them together, they were so horny.”
“I'm not going to sleep with someone just because they have a crush on me!”
“I'm not saying that. I'm saying they love you, whether they're your lovers or not.”
“They're with each other. I couldn't intrude on that, even if I wanted to.”
“It's not intruding if they want to do it.”
“Of course they do! They're always horny!”
“And you're not?”
Kim glared at her. “NO. Anyway, I'm only horny for you.”
“Oh, come on. You can't tell me that if Monique walked in here naked right now, you wouldn't get a good, long look.”
“What are the chances of Monique getting naked in our apartment?”
Shego grinned at her.
“You DIDN'T!” Kim cried.
“No, but I could. So I'd advise that you get real open-minded real quick, Kimmie. Gotta keep the relationship fresh.”
“Shego, get back here!” Kim demanded as Shego walked out.
“Can't be late! Hurry up!”
Kim growled and checked herself in the mirror. She was a bit surprised to find a smile spreading across her face, and quickly looked away.
“…Monique's not really in there, is she?”
“Well, I'm not naked!” Monique shouted.
“Yet!” Shego added.
Kim wanted to shout, but there was that smile again. “I'll be right out.”
“Take your time!” Shego shouted.
“Please!” Monique cooed, following that with a soft moan.
Kim raced out of the bathroom, only to find Shego and Monique fully-clothed and laughing their heads off.
“I have to say, you look good in a towel, Kim,” Monique gasped between giggles.
“She looks better in what's under it,” Shego added.
Kim ran right back into the bathroom.
“Kim, we're just teasing!” Monique assured her, poking her head into the bathroom. “Not about the towel, though.”
“You'll excuse me if I don't laugh, because it really seems like you two are having too much fun out there.”
Monique slipped inside and closed the door. “Are you implying that you'd rather have fun in here, with me?”
“No, I just-” Kim trailed off as she noticed that Monique was staring at her. “Um…what are you doing?”
“Admiring you.”
“You're not going to start drooling again, are you?”
“Not just yet.” Monique lowered her voice. “Kim…you know I love you, right?”
“I don't think I'm ever going to forget that, Monique.”
“And you know Ron does, too.”
“Again, not likely to forget that.”
Monique sighed. “Is the thought of being with either of us really so bad?”
“Now that you're together, yes, it is.”
“What if,” Monique said, “all four of us were just in a room, naked?”
“Why would that EVER happen?”
“Ron's on his way,” Monique murmured.
“I don't believe you people!” Kim wailed.
“Kim, do you trust me?”
“I used to. Now I don't know.”
“Do you trust that I would never do anything to hurt you or Shego?”
“…yes.”
Monique walked over and wrapped her arms around Kim from behind, resting her chin on Kim's bare shoulder. “Then trust me when I say we're doing this for you, as much as we are for us.”
“It does seem like it's more for you guys.”
“It isn't. Honest. Although we are really looking forward to it.”
“And who came up with this idea?”
“Shego and I. Ron was excited when we told him. So we're hoping you'll say yes by the time he gets here.”
“I don't know, Monique…”
“It's nothing we plan to do often. Though, if everyone enjoys it, there's no reason why we couldn't. Just once, we all agree would be enough. If you don't like it, it'll never happen again.”
“…and if I do?” Kim asked.
Monique softly kissed Kim's cheek. “Then I look forward to showing you how much I love you again, and again, and again.”
“I have to admit I'm curious about that myself. But Mom-”
“Shego's calling her. You're working. Big kidnapping case.”
“Seems like the one being help captive is me, though.”
“I promise we'll let you go when we're done.” Monique sighed and brushed her lips against Kim's neck. “Probably.”
Kim closed her eyes. “You're hardly giving me a choice here.”
“You have a choice. We're just making it seem really, really one-sided. You can still say no.”
“Can I?”
“Well, you can try. But we're going to do our best to keep you here.”
“Does being with me really mean that much to you two?”
“Always has, Kim. Always has. And I doubt Shego is going to be this lenient for long, so we had to try.”
Kim opened her eyes and stared into the mirror. “Dad always did wish I'd settle down with Ron.”
“Well, let's not get crazy or anything. He's still my white boy. But I can share for a few hours, if it means I get to have you for the same amount of time.”
“It's starting to sound like you've already decided who's going to be with who first.”
“Considering Shego is probably going to jump Ron the instant he comes through the door, we don't have much choice.” Monique smiled. “I like to think it would've happened that way anyhow.”
“Somehow, I think it would've, too.”
There was a very familiar shout of surprise outside the door, followed by a loud thump.
“Ron's here.” Monique looked at Kim's reflection. “Should I go out and stop them?”
Kim took a deep breath. “Only if you don't want to know how good I look without the towel.”
“They're grown, they'll be fine,” Monique said instantly.
“I think we will be, too,” Kim agreed, smiling. “I think we all will be.”
The End.
Okay, who didn't see that coming? Yes, it's really, truly, finally over. Sort of. An idea was recently pitched to me about a spin-off of certain events in “On A Break.” Mainly, Kim taking Drakken's job offer. Well, we'll see how the other series go first. Thanks for reading.