Had she been a normal person, Shego probably would've gotten sick of her current schedule long ago. However, she was running on pure adrenaline and sheer strength of will one half of the time, and comet power the other half (which was in truth much easier).
Mornings probably would've been better spent in bed (alone), but Shego opted to eat breakfast with the family, and then drive (well, fly) Kim and her friends to school.
From there it was purely a judgment call: either go home and dive back into bed, or find some way to keep herself occupied until cheer squad practice. More often than not, Shego found herself stalking the halls of Middleton High as Sheila Gonzalez. At first, she simply told herself that she was only doing it to be near Kim. And for the first few days, she did walk back and forth past Kim's classes several times. Then she found herself checking on Bonnie's classes, then Tara's, or some other cheerleader's. It occurred to her that maybe this was a bad sign, but stopping never crossed her mind. That, and it was worth it to catch Bonnie drooling in her sleep the one time it did happen.
Practice usually ran anywhere from three to five hours, depending on the difficulty of the routine and how worn out the girls were from the last practice. All of the routines were difficult, though. Half of them were based on missions Kim would've preferred to forget, and the rest were from missions Shego would've preferred to forget. Those were mostly pre-Drakken days, but only Kim knew that.
After practice, Shego always went straight home, where Kim was sure to be unless there was a mission. Wade had figured out that missing practice was out of the question, so he'd even stopped calling during the day if it was work-related. Consequently, though, Kim almost always had a mission waiting for her in the evening. At least, it seemed that way to Shego. But they had both agreed that Shego would not be joining Kim on any missions. Kim's excuse was that Shego needed to spend time with the family when she wasn't around, and Shego's excuse was that a mission might cause her to be late for work.
Shego's security job at the Space Center started promptly at eleven, and she was never late. Even if meant she only had time to greet Kim with a quick kiss as they prepared to go to work and bed, respectively. The job wasn't difficult, after the first few robbery attempts. Word got out fast that Shego was guarding the Space Center, and most people just stopped trying. Shego honestly missed the exercise, but it was easy money and kept Mr. Possible off her back, so she didn't complain.
The shift ended at five in the morning, and Shego had nearly wrecked the hovercraft twice in a rush to get home and spend just over an hour in bed with Kim. It wasn't much, but it was worth it. Kim obviously agreed on some level, because while she was very much a bed hog, there was always plenty of room when Shego came in from work. And the instant Shego slipped into bed, Kim would roll to her and toss a possessive arm over Shego, snoring lightly all the while. It was an unattractive but endearing sight, and Shego welcomed it.
“Got any plans for Saturday?” Kim murmured sleepily as Shego laid down beside her.
Shego blinked, not having realized that Kim was awake. “No.”
“You do now,” Kim replied through a yawn. “Monique wants to do a shopping spree at the mall.”
“What time are we going?”
“Not we. You and her. I'm helping Dad test some stuff at the Space Center.”
“Oh.” Shego considered that for a moment. “Okay.”
At that, Kim rolled over to stare at her, although rather blearily. “That's it? No protests? No complaints?”
Shego shrugged. “Nope. It's just mall time with Monique.” As if that needed clarification, she added, “We like Monique. And it's not like you're making me to spend the day with Stoppable.” Her eyes narrowed. “Are you?”
“No,” Kim sighed. “Just you and her. Girl talk and stuff. But you said you'd be nicer to Ron.”
“I am. It's just easier when he's nowhere near me.”
“Doesn't count,” Kim muttered.
“Does,” Shego argued, pulling her closer.
“Doesn't,” Kim insisted.
“Does,” Shego replied, nibbling lightly on her ear.
“Ooooh…does.”
Shego grinned. “Thought you'd see it my way.”
“Cheater,” Kim muttered, but her heart wasn't in it.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Kimmie.”
It only took an hour of thoroughly abusing Monique's Club Banana employee discount for Shego to realize that she'd missed the simple pleasures of life. Sure, she'd had money enough, but she'd been too busy lately to even think of shopping for fun.
After getting one too many dirty looks from Monique's supervisor, they'd retreated to the food court, where Monique insisted on the best junk food money could buy. Normally, Shego would've been too concerned about her figure, but Monique was buying, and she could always work it off later.
Monique had just put away her second double fudge brownie when she suddenly looked up and said, “Okay, time to get real, Shego. You know I didn't bring you out here just for food and fun.”
Shego grinned at her. “Sorry, ‘nique. I'm spoken for.”
“Very funny,” Monique muttered dryly. “I'm trying to be serious here.”
“Right. Totally serious now. Shoot.”
“How far have you and Kim gone?”
Any remaining traces of the grin dropped off Shego's face at once. “Excuse me?”
“Don't get defensive on me, Shego. I'm just curious. Inquiring minds want to know.”
“Uh huh. And does one of those inquiring minds own a bald rat?”
“I'm sure I have no idea what you mean.”
“Then let me be perfectly clear.” Shego leaned forward, glaring into Monique's eyes. “Not only is it none of your damn business, but I've got half a mind to ask you some deeply personal questions.”
Far from looking startled, Monique leaned back in her chair and stared expectantly at Shego. “Fine. Got for it. I've got nothing to hide.”
“Yeah? You and Stoppable dating?”
Monique actually laughed. “THAT'S your deeply personal question?”
“Which I notice you still haven't answered.”
“Okay then.” Monique took a moment to stop smiling. “I swear to you that not only have I never dated Ron, the thought has never even crossed my mind. There. Satisfied?”
“So why not? Not your type?”
Monique looked thoroughly amused. “If you must know, he really isn't. Assuming you weren't into girls, would a guy that followed a pretty redhead around all day be YOUR type? And is it me, or are you trying to hook me up with Kim's best friend?”
Shego snorted. “If I thought it was possible and would keep him out of my hair, I'd hook him up with Drakken. I'm not picky and I doubt he can afford to be.”
Monique just sighed. “You know, Ron isn't horrible. Kim's hung out with him her whole life. He's a really sweet guy.”
“Yet you're not interested.”
Monique rolled her eyes. “Shego, stop and think for a minute. Every time you see Kim, Ron is like three seconds behind her. It's been like that forever. I'm willing to bet the main reason you don't like Ron isn't because he's goofy, or loud, or packing naked mole rat. It's because you see him for what he really is: competition.”
“Say what?” Shego asked blankly.
“You can't tell me that you've never assumed that Kim and Ron were a couple.”
Shego didn't say anything.
“Just like I thought. Well, news flash, you're not the only one that thought that. I only know better because I'm in the loop. You see a boy and girl together ALL THE TIME, you start assuming things. Deep down, you can't forget that Ron's always been there. You don't like him because you're afraid Kim is going to wake up one day and realize she's been in love with her best friend since they first met, and it pisses you off like nothing else.”
“Are you done?” Shego growled.
“Nope. Trust me, you don't have to worry about any of that.”
Shego froze. “I don't?”
“No, you don't. There's a bunch of reasons why, but the main one is this: Kim loves you. I can see it, you can see it, and Ron can see it, no matter how much he doesn't want to. And considering she's my best friend, too, you shouldn't be surprised that I'm trying to pry into your relationship. I know she loves you. I want to know if you love her…and if you've loved her, so to speak.”
“I still say it's none of your damn business. Ask Kim, if you're such good friends.”
Monique shook her head. “She'd be too embarrassed. You're just mad. I can work with mad.” She paused and lowered her voice. “Shego…I'm not here to doubt what you have with Kim. I just need to know if you're as serious about her as she is about you. Because if you're not, you owe it to Kim to tell her so. If you are, then we'll never speak of this again.”
“Well, I am serious about her,” Shego snapped, “so back off.”
Monique held up her hands in apparent surrender. “Consider me convinced. Got any more probing questions for me? If not, I saw this green scarf at Snow Seasons that would look perfect on you.”
Shego wanted to be mad, but she had come to shop, and she could hardly blame Monique for wanting to protect Kim. Just as long as she realized that job was taken now, they'd continue to get along fine. Maybe.
“Yeah, okay,” Shego grumbled, looking much more sour than she actually was at the moment.
Monique just smiled and licked some fudge from her fingers.
Having a rare hole in her schedule, Kim decided to give Ron a call. They hadn't had as much time to hang out together without it being mission-related lately, and aside from that, she honestly missed sitting around and doing virtually nothing with him. Knowing Ron as she did, she knew an invite to chow down at Bueno Nacho was the perfect way to spend their afternoon.
Ron picked up on the second ring. “You've reached Ron and Rufus, you lucky person, you!”
“Yup, hi!” Rufus squeaked into the phone.
“Hey, guys. You two busy?”
“Kim!” Rufus squealed, even as Ron greeted her with his usual, “Hey, KP!”
“Should I take that as a yes? I was thinking we could hit Bueno Nacho.”
There was an odd pause, because Ron never hesitated where Bueno Nacho was involved.
“We?” he asked. “As in us three, or us, and…um…”
“I know she's had trouble with your name, Ron, but I thought you had hers down. It's Shego.”
“I know, it's just…just…”
“What is it?”
“…KP. Can I be brutally honest with you for a sec?”
Kim frowned. “I would hope you're always honest with me, Ron.”
There was another odd pause.
“Listen. I know Shego saved you and your mom, and I'll always be grateful to her for that. But this thing between you and her…”
“It's called a relationship, Ron. You've had a few.”
“Yeah, and one of them used to be with you.”
That brought Kim's thoughts to a screeching halt. “What?”
“I'm sorry, KP. I shouldn't have said that.”
“Why did you say it at all?” Kim demanded.
“Things are different now, KP. Even when you were all about Josh, you still had time to talk my ear off about how great he was. But ever since you took Shego in, it's been nothing like that. I barely see you at all outside of school and missions, and I have yet to hear about one of your dates with Shego.”
“Dates? What are you-”
“KP,” Ron interrupted, “I'm not stupid. This is Shego we're talking about. No one with red blood in their veins could sleep in the same room with her once and not think about her that way. And she's been sleeping in your BED, for months now. If you're not dating her yet, you're both fooling yourselves.”
“You knew?” Kim asked quietly.
“I suspected. That, and Monique told me about the time she walked in on you two panting like dogs in heat.”
Kim flushed at the memory. Kissing in the hovercraft had been a bad idea. They couldn't have known that Monique would double back for her forgotten notebook…or that said notebook was only forgotten in the sense that Monique had forgotten to mention she'd left it on purpose.
“I'm not here to judge you, KP. I just wish you'd trusted me enough to tell me the truth.”
Kim flinched at the words. She couldn't ever recall Ron sounding so disappointed. “Ron, it wasn't like that. I haven't told anyone. Not yet. If the wrong people found out, Shego could lose her job, and I might lose my credibility. Not to mention how some of our foes might try to use her against me, or me against her.”
“You don't get it, KP. If Shego means that much to you, you should've told me no matter what. How can I help you protect your loved ones if I don't know who they are? How can I help you if you don't tell me what's going on? I had to find out from Monique that my best friend was seeing someone. Do you have any idea what that feels like? It's like a demotion from best friend to…to occasional acquaintance.”
“Ron, no!” Kim cried. “That's not how I feel at all!”
“You're still not listening, Kim,” Ron sighed. “It's how I feel.”
“Why didn't you say anything? All you had to do was tell me, and I would've-”
“What? Broken a date with Shego and been totally miserable the whole time you were with me? Thanks, but no thanks.”
“So what are you telling me, Ron? That I have to choose between you and Shego? Or that we're not friends anymore?”
“Neither. I'm saying I want my best friend back. The one who would've told me things like she and Shego are a couple now. The one who wouldn't have me chasing down Monique for info on her. The one who I've been missing like crazy.”
“I'm sorry, Ron. I guess ever since Shego became a bigger part of my life, I've been taking everyone around me for granted. I don't mean to, but I've never felt like this about anyone before.”
“I can't really blame you, KP. Shego isn't like most people you'd date. She really might bite your head off if you brushed her off.”
“Actually, it's you I'm having trouble getting her to accept.”
“Well, obviously she doesn't have a good opinion of guys. I mean, she's worked for Drakken all this time.”
“True. But I expect you two to try being civil. For me, if nothing else.”
“I'll try, KP. For you. But this is gonna take time. I mean, last time I checked, you were still into guys.”
“And does my change in dating preference keep us from major snackage at Bueno Nacho?” Kim asked.
“Heck no! But, um…Shego's not coming, is she?”
“No, Ron. She and Monique went to the mall.”
“Really? Why?”
“Remember that whole being civil thing I mentioned? Monique's actually doing it.”
“Yeah, but she's a girl,” Ron pointed out. “And we KNOW Shego likes girls.”
“Shego is not sexist, Ron.”
“Okay, KP? No more mentioning Shego and any form of ‘sex’ in the same sentence. Would help a LOT with the whole getting used to this deal.”
“Aren't you the one that said people couldn't be around Shego without thinking about it?”
“Well…yeah, but you still don't have to SAY it. Especially if you know I'm already gonna be thinking about it. It's just a lot less appealing, now that you're involved.”
“…I know you're having a rough time accepting this, Ron, so I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that.”
“Don't take it that way, KP. I mean…it's hard to see you with a girl. Just seems like such a waste. Think of all the poor guys you're disappointing.”
Kim laughed. “I'm sure all those broken hearts couldn't have a better spokesman.”
“Yeah,” Ron said weakly. “Ron Stoppable, Leader of the Lonely Hearts Club.”
“Don't sound so down. I'm sure all you need is a few nacos to pick you up. I'll even race you there. Loser buys?”
“Hope you're hungry, KP, because you're gonna be eating my dust!”
But as Ron hung up, the smile dropped off his face, and he collapsed across his bed, staring angrily up at the ceiling.
“She was right all along. You're not a loser, Ron Stoppable. You're just the biggest coward that ever walked the planet.”
“So, what's your night look like?”
Monique's head jerked up as she quickly stuffed her cell phone back into her pocket. “Huh?”
“I said, what are you doing tonight?” Shego asked from the hovercraft's controls.
Monique relaxed. “Oh. Actually, something just came up. Can't miss it. Total fashion emergency.”
“Ah. Had a big enough dosage of Shego for one day, huh?”
Monique rolled her eyes. “If I didn't like you, I wouldn't let you use my employee discount, and I certainly wouldn't treat you to double fudge. Only real friends get the royal treatment from me.”
“And the fact that I sleep with your best friend has no bearing on that whatsoever?”
“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe there's someone out there that might actually like you because deep down, you're hiding a decent human being?”
“No,” Shego said flatly, bringing the hovercraft to a gentle stop.
Monique sighed loudly and stood up. “Fine, be that way.” She leaned over and brushed her lips gently against Shego's pale cheek. “But if you ever need an endorsement to wow Mama and Papa Possible, you got my digits.”
“Uh…thanks,” Shego muttered as Monique hurried down the ramp.
Monique had barely gotten inside her house when she brought out her cell phone again, highlighting the name and number of the last caller. Within seconds, she had a connection.
“Okay, boyfriend. What's the sitch?”
“…promise me you'll never say that again.”
Monique had almost reached her room when she stopped short. “What's wrong, boo?” she asked, concern in her voice.
“I can't do this anymore, Monique. It hurts too much. I thought I could tough it out, but…I just can't tell her. And I hate myself a little more every day.”
Shaking her head, Monique pushed open the door to her room…and gasped as a dark figure rose up to meet her.
“You were right. I was just fooling myself. It was never going to happen. And now…it's too late…”
Monique rushed forward as he fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. Wordlessly, she ran her slim fingers through his hair as he clung to her waist, sobbing as if his heart had just been broken.
“It'll get better, you know,” she said softly.
“How?” he asked bitterly.
“I can make it better. We can. Just tell me what you need.”
He shook his head. “I just want to forget that I ever felt this way.”
Monique sank down and drew him into her arms. “Then you've come to the right place,” she whispered, pressing his face into her neck. “I promise, boo, that how you're feeling right now will just seem like a bad dream when I'm done.”
“So you had fun?” Kim asked eagerly, and only a second after Shego entered the room.
“Yeah, it was okay,” Shego remarked. “Why wouldn't it have been? I told you, I don't have a problem with Monique. It's Stoppable I'm learning to stomach.”
“He's learning the same, Shego. He's still not used to me seeing girls.”
“I think it's less that you're seeing girls, and more that you're seeing me, Kimmie. But I can't really hold that against him. I'm sure I've scared the crap out of him more than a few times.”
“He said he'd try. For me.”
“I'm sure there's a lot he would do ‘for you,’ including save you from the Dark Side, a.k.a. Hot Lesbian Action.”
“Ron wouldn't do that. He knows this is my choice, and he'll support me in it. Eventually.”
“It would be a lot easier to go to your parents if we had some back-up. Which reminds me, we got Monique's vote.”
“See? I told you the mall was a good idea!”
“Kimmie, that was a done deal ages ago. She's probably the only person that hasn't given me any lip about being with you. Unless you count your bratty brothers, but they find other ways to annoy me.”
“It's their specialty.” Kim sighed a bit. “I do wish Ron was okay with this. He seemed so distant at lunch. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him.”
“I'd hunt him down and drag him back,” Shego assured her.
Kim shook her head. “It wouldn't do any good, if he didn't want to be around me.”
Shego suppressed a groan. “Okay, fine. Call him and set up a playdate. I'll take him somewhere and talk this out.”
“Talk? Not threaten with mean words or violence, but talk?”
“Yes, talk,” Shego growled.
Kim beamed and threw her arms around Shego's neck.
“Don't thank me yet, you still have to get him to say yes.”
“I'll talk him into it,” Kim said confidently, speed-dialing Ron's number on her phone. Her smile slipped a little, moments later, when she put down the phone. “He's not answering. Why wouldn't he be home?”
“People who look distant don't always return to base. Maybe he went somewhere to take his mind off his woman troubles.” At Kim's blank look, she translated: “Us.”
“Oh.” Kim bit her lip, looking worried. “Where would he go? He's already been to Bueno Nacho. Maybe Felix has heard from him. Did Monique mention anything?”
“Only that they've never dated,” Shego replied. “Guess we were wrong.”
“Guess so. I'll try Felix, and then…”
“What?”
“I don't know,” Kim admitted softly.
Bonnie could see that Tara was on the brink of exhaustion. But, she could also see that Tara had a little more to give. After asking herself what Coach Gonzalez would've done, she knew what she had to do as well.
“Okay, Tara. Let's try some more handstands.”
Tara's already weary face seemed to droop a little more as she carefully fingered her slightly swollen arm. “Bonnie, can't we stop for the night, please? I'm really, really tired…”
Bonnie shook her head. “If you've got enough energy to complain, you can tough it out.”
“But I don't WANT to tough it out! My doctor said I shouldn't be using my arm at all, and I-”
“A doctor's note isn't going to keep you on the squad, Tara. If anything, it'll ensure you get kicked off. While you're resting, the squad will be learning more and more difficult routines, and you won't have any chance of catching up. If you want to stay on this squad, you have to work through the pain.”
“Maybe I should quit,” Tara muttered, lowering her head. “Ever since I got hurt, this isn't fun anymore. My arm is always bothering me, I can't keep up in practice, the coach doesn't even yell at me when I mess up since she knows I can't do any better, and I'm even starting to resent you for all these extra practices. I hate feeling this way, Bonnie…about myself, and about you.”
“It's not all fun and games for me, either,” Bonnie snapped. “You think I like making sure that your arm never gets a chance to heal properly? Well, I don't. But it's either watch you suffer and stay on the team, or let you quit and have you resent me for letting you give up something you used to love so much.”
“I'm just holding you back, anyway! You don't have to keep doing this!”
“I choose to keep doing it, Tara. I happen to think you're worth losing a little beauty sleep over. You quit now, and I'll know I was wrong. No, it's not fair, but I never said it would be. I only said that I'd help you stay on the squad. I can't do that if you won't work with me.”
“But it hurts so bad, Bonnie,” Tara whimpered.
Bonnie sighed. “Fine.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, white bottle. “Painkillers. You take one, it works for twelve hours. Won't do you much good, though, since I'm only ever giving you one a week.”
“One?” Tara asked miserably.
“Yes, one. Less chance of you getting addicted that way. You can't start relying on them, or me to give them to you. I really shouldn't be doing this at all, but if you're just going to sit there and whine, there's no point in us doing this anymore.” Bonnie put the bottle back in her pocket. “So. You do the handstands, I give you one, and if I'm still in a good enough mood, maybe I'll let you use my hot tub.”
“Okay,” Tara murmured, getting to her feet slowly. She was so focused on getting done that she didn't notice the brief look of pride that flashed across Bonnie's face.
Shego had a hunch, and she'd told Kim as much, but nothing more.
She had been replaying the day in her mind, trying to recall if anything Monique had said would hint at any previous knowledge of Ron's vanishing act. Normally, Shego wouldn't have done that, simply because she trusted Monique. And maybe that was the real problem.
Whenever the subject of Monique came up, the first thing Kim would invariably say was how Monique had always, always been there for her, either to offer advice, a sympathetic ear, or the latest gossip. What she'd left unsaid, however, was that Monique's constantly being on her side also meant that somewhere along the line, she'd lied to protect Kim.
At least, that was how Shego's mind saw it. The true test of a friend was how good and how often they could lie for you. Unfortunately, the really good friends were always the ones that lied the best, which complicated things.
Because Shego's hunch told her that Monique was lying again…just for someone else this time. She hadn't told Kim that, of course, despite repeated requests to know what the hunch was. It had taken nearly ten minutes to convince Kim that staying home was best, in case Ron called or stopped by. They both knew he wouldn't, but Kim had finally agreed.
Now that she was standing on the balcony outside of Monique's room, Shego wondered if this was the right course of action. If she was wrong, she could end up losing Monique's trust. If she was right…well, it'd probably be more of the same, but at least Kim would know the truth.
In the end, as long as she had Kim, anything else was collateral damage.
For a woman of Shego's experience, the locks on the window were easily undone, even without the aid of plasma. It was just as easy to slid inside without a sound.
What was not so easy was suppressing the giggle in her throat as Shego saw that she'd interrupted a very private moment. Even in the darkened room, she could make out two twisting, moaning bodies in Monique's bed.
Well, it was nothing Shego hadn't seen before, but she'd never thought of Monique as the type to bed a guy (or girl) on the first date. It made her wonder just what was so special about the mystery man, to the point where she figured it couldn't hurt to take a peek.
But when Shego crept over to the door and flipped on the lights, she was the one who got the shock of her life.
Next Chapter: Monique has some explaining to do, but when the truth comes out, not even Shego is prepared for the consequences.