Bleak House

Chapter 9

Another Good Theory, Blown to Hell

King in Yellow

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TITLE: Another Good Theory, Blown to Hell

AUTHOR: King in Yellow

DISCLAIMER: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage. Sampson Brass is from The Old Curiosity Shop, by Dickens. The names of most other OCs are from Bleak House.

SUMMARY: Sequel to the unfortunate Hard Times. Kim is hit with a paternity suit. That is only the beginning as the courts attempt to resolve suits and counter suits. Only the lawyers look happy.

TYPE: Kim/Shego

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 953

“You don't look so good, Kim.”

“Thank you, Mr. Obvious. Look, Wade, it seems like Shego is keeping two steps ahead of me in everything that's happening. I'm having trouble sleeping ‘cause I'm worried about what she'll be trying to pull next.”

“I hate to be the voice of reason here, but maybe it's time to let things play themselves out.”

“No, I just need to get a line on whatever she's up to. Do you really believe she is going legitimate?”

“I… I'm not sure. She's got too much media attention at the moment to make a move without it hitting headlines around the world.”

“She's up to something. I know it, and you know it. I want to know what she's planning. I want to know what she's thinking. I want to listen in when she talks with her lawyer.”

“Not a good idea Kim.”

“Please, Wade. I'm asking as a friend.”

The young genius sighed, “Okay. Not a good idea, big time. That's my free professional advice. But it would take an expert to trace my tap. When do you want it?”

“Would ten minutes ago be too soon?”

“I'm not going to listen in on calls to her family. I think Hego and the others are legit, but if there's a call to her lawyer--”

“You'll call me and let me listen in with you?”


“You rock, Wade.”

Kim got her first chance to try and get ahead of Shego later that day.

“Sampson Brass and Associates, how may I help you?” the male voice answered the phone. Wade hit a button and the Kimmunicator in her pocket went off. Kim had it out and turned on before the final beep sounded.

“Hello, this is Shego, I--”

“Can you come in to the office some day, Miss Shego? I'd really like to have your autograph.”

“Is that you, Guppy? I can probably manage it. I'd like--”

“It would mean a lot to all of us here. You're the biggest celebrity the firm has ever handled and we all think you're great.”

“Will you cut the flattery and get her on the phone with her lawyer,” Kim thought, annoyed by the lack of direction in the phone call.

Shego's laughter sounded over the phone line. Not a hard, mocking laughter, but rather a soft almost musical tone that gave Kim a thrill she couldn't understand. After the misery the pale woman had been through it was good to learn she could laugh again.

“I'll be sure to come in with barbecue for the whole office after the trial is over. I really appreciate the way you've all been part of the team. But is the big boss in? I'd like to talk with Sam if I could.”

“No problem. I'll have to put you on hold for just a second.”

Kim tapped her foot impatiently, this call had better be worth the aggravation.

“Hello, Shego?”

“Yes, is there anyone in your office?”


“Good, ‘cause this is dynamite.” Shego's voice lowered to a conspiratorial hush and the hairs stood up on the back of Kim's neck. “I'm only going to repeat it once--”

“Wait, if you repeat it once aren't you saying it twice.”

“Will you stop being so damn literal? Anyway this is going to end the court case once and for all. I need to tell--”

“Okay, Shego,” a different male voice came on the line, “the call has lasted long enough. We've confirmed the tap and traced the source to a Load residence--”

“That would be her flunky Wade. Are both of you listening in? Hi, kids, meet Officer Sullivan. Guess what, illegal wiretaps are a criminal offense. See you in court.”

“The tap just cut off.”

“But there is enough evidence for a conviction, right?”

“There should be no problem with that.”

Kim Possible Arrested, made evening broadcasts across the nation that night, and front page articles across the country the next day. At his desk in the Oval Office Karl smiled, it had completely bumped the accusation that the Attorney General of the United States had driven a Volvo dump truck over seventeen US Attorneys from the Post's front section. The charges against the AG were ridiculous anyway; he had been driving a Chevy at the time and only hit three.

“Mr. Load,” the judge announced at sentencing. “Despite your youth, your impressive academic background has made the court willing to treat you as an adult. Nevertheless, while you are guilty of illegal activity I will consider the fact this is a first offense for you and allow for the possibility you were misled in your actions. There is a five hundred dollar fine. Should you appear before me again I will not go as easily on you.”

Wade nodded politely to the judge, “Thank you, your honor.”

“A word of advice, young man,” the judge continued. “Avoid getting between these two women.”

“I think that is very good advice, your honor.”

“Now, Miss Possible?”

“Yes, your honor?”

“I am going to overlook the fact you encouraged a minor to commit a criminal act. But in addition to setting up an illegal wiretap on Shego's phone it appears to me that you demonstrate a blatant disregard for the restraining order she has placed on you. This is not your first violation of the restraining order. Because of the good you have done in the community your sentence is only seven days in the country jail and a two thousand dollar fine. But if you violate that restraining order again you will not get off so lightly.”

Kim pressed her lips together tightly, but said nothing. It appeared she would be missing a lot of allowances.

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