A Simple Jewish Wedding

Chapter 5

To the Rescue

King in Yellow

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TITLE: To the Rescue

AUTHOR: King in Yellow

DISCLAIMER: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage. NoDrogs created Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible in the story A Small Possibility.

SUMMARY: Under the best of circumstances it isn't easy pulling off a traditional wedding with two brides. But when Motor Ed attempts to kidnap one of the brides you aren't dealing with the best of circumstances. Best Enemies universe.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Other, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: PG-13 / DE: 12

Words: 4860

Bonnie stepped back and looked at her work critically. Kim's mission clothes were baggy on Justine. She thought of telling the thin woman to wear more clothing underneath, but was afraid things would bunch incorrectly and leave 'Kim' looking lumpy. “Tell them you've been sick and lost weight,” she instructed her 'partner.' The clock read twelve-twenty. Bonnie hadn't even started her own make-up, and knew she didn't have the time to do all she wanted. A fast call to Drakken confirmed Ed had not seen Shego in some time, so hopefully he would miss any obvious mistakes.

Twenty-five minutes later Bonnie still felt she needed to do a lot more work when her cell rang, “Get that,” she barked at Justine, “it's on my dresser.”

Justine spoke briefly into the phone, then called to Bonnie, “It's Ron. He's in position with the Volvo. He says he can see Felix and Monique. He says they're set up. He wants to know when we're leaving.”

“Tell him we're on our way. Can you drive a stick? I'd like a couple more minutes to put on makeup in the car.”

“Sorry, I can't drive a manual transmission.”

“And you call yourself a genius,” Bonnie grumbled as she grabbed a key for the old Bug and one of Shego's coats -- forgetting that she had left her mike in one of her own. She had not gotten into the car before an important memory flashed through her mind and she ran back into the house -- to grab the diaper bag.

The two barely made it to nineteenth and Ash before one. Bonnie parked the car and the two got out.

“Which corner did he say,” 'Kim' demanded.

“He wasn't specific,” 'Shego' said, ostensibly scanning the street for the panel truck she had seen earlier, but actually looking for Ron and Felix for a little reassurance. She managed to spot Felix, but gave no indication of the fact. She was still looking for Ron when a truck which looked identical to the earlier vehicle pulled up. Bonnie quickly noted it had a different license plate, but when the back opened Ed and another man jumped out; apparently they had changed the plates.

“Into the truck,” Ed growled, and Bonnie and Justine complied.

Ed grabbed the diaper bag and handed it to one of his men, “Search it.”

“I'm not getting any pick up on the mike for 'Shego',” Drakken complained

“Well why didn't you mention it before now?” Ron demanded.

“Because I was hearing both of them perfectly well through the mike on 'Kim.' If you're looking for someone to blame, blame her.”

“Did you hear that, Felix?” Ron asked.

“I've got the radio over here,” Monique reported. “What does this do to our plans?”

“I'm not sure,” Ron replied. “I think we need to keep things loose in any case, we don't know what Ed is planning and have to be flexible. Let's just hope they don't split up Bonnie and Justine. Dr. D? Call the Possible residence. Do not, repeat, do not, tell Shego what's going on. See if anyone there can get in touch with Kim's mom. Ask her to tell Kim to call me ASAP. You got that?”

“Have Kim call Donald, check. Why aren't we telling Shego?”

“It's Ron, you great blue idiot. And we aren't telling Shego because we would really like for her to stay out of prison. I hope you approve of that.”

“Whatever,” Drakken muttered and got off the radio to make the call.

“Felix, I've been following as long as I should. I'm going to take a right on Eleventh Street. Are you in position to pick up the tail?”

“I'm fine Ron, why are we following so tight? Didn't they take the GPS chips?”

“You're right. I forgot to check with Drakken. When he comes back on we'd better check that. It would make life easier.”

Ron took a right, then a left, and tried to parallel the direction of the panel truck. Drakken spoke up a minute later. “No one home at the Possible's. I didn't leave a message, if Shego picked up the message it would sound too suspicious if my voice was asking someone to call Kim's mom and have her tell Kim to call Randy.”

“It's Ron! You're just doing that to irritate me. I know it.”

“Would I do a thing like that, Robert? Oh, it would sound better if you left a message asking them to have Kim call you.”

“Will do, now--”

“Will Du? Is he there.”

“No, I'm just saying I will do that. Felix wanted to know if you have a GPS chip with 'Kim' and 'Shego' we're worried our tail might get spotted.”

Drakken checked the monitor, “You're fine,” he assured them. I've got all three of you. Only one chip in the lead vehicle though. The GPS chip must have been with the mike.”

“And Bonnie cursed Kim for being careless,” Ron muttered. “Dr. D, Wade was able to use satellite images for tracking. Is there any chance you could tap into that without blowing the place up?”

“Now who's being insulting?”

Ed had been in the front of the truck speaking to the driver, a short man with a greasy pompadour. They had watched a suspicious looking Volvo that might have been tailing them, but noticed with relief that it had turned and was no longer behind them. Feeling confident that Kim and Shego had come alone Ed went to the rear of the van. His henchman told him there was nothing in the bag but diapers, baby wipes and a couple sippy cups with juice. Ed peered closely at 'Kim.'

“Whoa, Red, you haven't aged well, seriously.”

“She's been sick. Why are you doing this? Where are the twins,” 'Shego' said.

“Babe, I'm doing this for you.”

“For me?”

“Yeah, the Drewster said you and… I mean, that makes no sense. She's got a chip or something on you.”

“I'm an actress,” Bonnie told herself, “I can do this.” “She hasn't chipped me. We love each other.”

“You and Red?” Ed laughed. “You got to be chipped. Babe, she's a girl. Haven't you noticed? I mean, she's gotten skinny, but Red's a girl. C'mon, we'll go back to my hideout and I'll check you over real carefully.” Bonnie shuddered as he gently ran his hand up her arm. “I'll have you feeling better fast, seriously.”

“Where are the twins?” Justine demanded, trying to keep the focus on getting the girls back.

“They're fine,” Ed said dismissively. “I just wanted to talk with the pretty babe.”

“Then give me my girls.”

“Look, Red, you're in no position to make demands.”

“Please,” 'Shego' asked. “Give her the girls. Let them go. I'll go back to your hideout with you.” “Ron, you sure as hell better be tracking me.”

Justine, unsure what Bonnie's plan was, spoke up, “What's wrong with our being lovers. It happens. Let us both go. All we want is the girls back. We won't even report you to the authorities.”

Ed looked at her again, “Whoa, you don't sound like Red either. What's going on here? Seriously.”

“You haven't seen her in years,” 'Shego' said. 'She's in college now.”

“Oh, yeah. That's right. You two are really lovers?”

Ed sensed some reluctance in Bonnie's voice as she answered 'yes'. “Then show me something. I want to see the two of you kiss,” he demanded.

“I don't… I mean, we…” Bonnie stammered.

“You're supposed to be an actress?” Justine thought as she leaned over and grabbed 'Shego' by her jacket, pulling her close and pressing her lips to Bonnie's. “Damn it Bonnie, try and act like you're enjoying this. We've got to convince him Kim and Shego are lovers.”

With Bonnie being unresponsive Justine tried to make it believable by extending the time their lips were together, even if the experience was not much different from kissing a brick wall.

'Shego' involuntarily shuddered as 'Kim' ended the kiss. Bonnie cursed herself for being a poor actress, but it seemed to work in her favor. “See, you don't really like her,” Ed said. “She's just got some weird hold on you.”

“Maybe you're right,” Bonnie said, edging a little closer to Motor Ed. “Why don't you give her the kids and we'll go off together.”

“We could just dump her in the river tied to a cinder block.”

“The ice is probably too thick. You'd just make her mad. Besides, you don't really care about her, do you? It's me you're interested in, right?”

“Yeah, but--”

'Shego' put a finger to his lips, “Hush now, we shouldn't let her come between us. I owe her one; she helped keep me out of prison. I've paid her back by playing her love puppy. And I'm sure you don't want a kidnapping charge, do you?


“Good, so give her the girls and then it's just you and me.”

“Hit it, man,” Ed yelled at the driver. “Get us back to the motel.”

“Which one?” he demanded the one where we's staying or--”

“The one with the kids.”

As the van sped up Justine quickly adjusted an orange. 'Kim' had put enough effort into kissing 'Shego' that she had gotten out of balance.

“Did you hear that?” Monique asked.

“I copied,” Ron reported. “How about you, Dr. D?”

“I heard it fine, thank you. And I've got the satellite images figured out. I can follow the truck on the computer.”

“Good, 'cause it sounds like we're about to see the breakup of Kim and Shego. Monique, ask Felix what he wants to do. I imagine you and him will stay with Justine if they drop her off.”

Monique got back on the radio a minute later. “He says his first choice is stay with Justine. His second choice is to run over Motor Ed. It sounds like he's got at least three guys: there is someone with the girls and he has two guys in the van. What do we do in case of a bad split? You and Kim gave me some training, but I don't want to take on three guys.”

Ron was silent for minute. “Pray we don't get a bad split. You're sure not able to handle Ed by yourself either. Let's hope he's forgotten how good Kim is, or thinks she's been sick, and doesn't leave three guys with her.”

“Head's up, people,” Drakken's voice crackled over the radio, “they're pulling into a motel parking lot. It looks like they're driving around to the back. One of you, pull into the front. It looks like a filling station across the street, the other one of you needs to pull in there.”

“We'll take the motel,” Monique said.

Ed's van stopped in front of room seventeen. “Take Red in, and stay with her and the brats.” He told the short man. “Send Sid out, he's had his turn babysitting.”

“Whatcha want me to do wit' the broad an' the kids?”

“I dunno. We need to hold 'em for awhile, just to make sure the green babe is being level with me.”

Justine took the diaper bag, “I'll need that.”

“Nothin' funny,” Ed warned her as he opened the back door of the van.

“Wait,” Bonnie demanded. “I want to see that the girls are all right.”

“What's it to yah?” Ed demanded.

“I've grown attached to the little rugrats,” 'Shego' answered. “You want me to play nice with you? Then you play nice with me!”

“Felix wants to know if we should move in now?” Monique asked.

“We need to save Shego's kids,” Drakken voted.

Ron hesitated, “We need to make sure the girls are all right. Bonnie is buying us time. It sounds like Ed just plans to leave one guy with Justine and the girls. I don't think we should make a move yet. I don't want the twins getting hurt in a big fight. Felix, Monique, you stay here. Monique, you can handle any one of Ed's men. Rescue the girls. Doc, you've got to help me tail Ed and Bonnie. I hope I can fire up the old MMP fast if I--”

“MMP?” Drakken interrupted.

“Mystical monkey power,” Monique explained.

“Just keep the van on your computer monitor,” Ron warned him. “We're going to lose audio and GPS on Bonnie, and I don't want to lose her. I don't want Ed to hurt her.”

“Don't worry, Donald, I'm on it.”

Ron sighed and rested his head against the steering wheel. Talking with Drakken was not making him feel any better.

Bonnie stood behind the van, under the watchful eye of Ed while Justine and the short man with the greasy hair went up to the door of the motel room.

A knock on the door brought out Ed's third man, “Geez, these kids are doing nothing but crying.”

Justine got a whiff of the room, “Have you changed them?” she demanded.


“They're toddlers, they need their diapers changed. You're helpless.”

“Are they okay?” 'Shego' yelled.

“They're fine,” 'Kim' called. “Don't worry about me.” “I just don't want anyone to hurt me or the kids. Or Bonnie.”

“Okay, let's roll,” 'Shego' told Ed -- desperately hoping that a single guard would be left on the kids and Justine. She still didn't realize she had forgotten her wire, and Ron was worried sick.

“Are you sure you have them on your screen,” He demanded of Drakken for the seventeenth time in six minutes.

“Ooops, I seem to have lost them.”


“Oh, this is even more fun that forgetting your name. Of course I'm following them. Look, I don't know quite how to ask this. He kidnapped Shego's kids… But he's still family. Try to not hurt him.”

Ron thought for a minute. He really wanted to hurt Ed for taking the twins. Ron took that crime more personally that if Ed had attacked him. Ron even suspected that Drakken was somehow involved in Ed knowing about the twins, but the Doc was doing his best in the rescue… “Look, I don't know how much I can promise. But I'm sure not trying to hurt him. I really think I'm saving him a world of pain. Don't you think he's going to be safer in jail than he will be if Kim or Shego get their hands on him?”

Back at the motel the crying twins got their first look at 'Kim'.

“Mommy?” Kasy asked.

Sheki appeared to stare more closely, “Justy.” But Justine was still a welcome face and the two ran to her.

“Get a towel, spread it on the bed. I have the change the girls,” 'Kim' ordered.

“I don't take orders from you.”

“Fine, would you rather change the diapers yourself, here's the bag, or would you rather just let them cry and stink?”

While he got a towel from the bathroom Justine arranged what she needed. She had less practice than the other residents of Casa Possible, but everyone in the big house had experience.

Sheki went onto the towel first; Justine quickly stripped off the outer clothes and unsnapped the onesie. “How long has she been like this?” the thin woman demanded.

“How should I know,” he groused. “I got here as the same time as you.”

“Well throw this away and give me the baby wipes.” She tried handing him the old diaper, but he turned green and refused to touch it. Justine shook her head, rolled up the diaper and sealed it with the tape. “Throw it away, I need to wipe her butt, and she'll probably need ointment after sitting in that wet diaper for a couple hours.”

“Uh, I'll let you take care of that yourself. I'm going outside for a smoke.” He hoped that by the time he was done the kids would be in fresh diapers.

Felix and Monique were monitoring the conversation. “What do you think?” he asked.

“I think we're going to pull up to the room beside theirs, I'm going to pretend it's our room, but I'm going to see him and ask for a cigarette first. He shouldn't be expecting anything and he won't know what hit him.”

Justine was finishing up on Kasy when she heard Monique yelling, “It worked! It worked!” She opened the door to the room and found Monique jumping up and down beside the man assigned to guard 'Kim'. “I did it! I did it!”

“Calm down,” Justine told her. “Has Felix called the police?”

“They're on their way.”

“Good, then let's give the sippy cups to the girls.”

“God, I hope it goes this smoothly for Ron and Bonnie.”

But it was not going to go as well for Ron. He kept a distance of two or three blocks between the Volvo and the van, fighting the urge to keep asking Drakken for reassurance that he was able to track the van.

Bonnie kept talking, to let the others she believed were listening know what was going on.

“And coming up on our right we have the Middleton Mall, home of--”

“They got a Planet Tool there?”

“Uh, no. I think it closed.”

“Sears? Craftsmen are good tools.”

“Oh yeah, biggest Sears in the tri-city area.”

Ed spoke to the driver, “We'll need to come back check out the tools, man. I got to rebuilt my kit.”

“Why don't you stop now?” Bonnie suggested.

“Two reasons, babe. First, I don't plan to pay for the tools--”

“Well, duh, if you check them out what you want now they'll be a lot faster to find at two in the morning.”

“You're all right, Dudette. But the second reason is I don't want you screaming for the cops.”

“Oh, pah-lease, why would I want them?”

“You're really not going to scream?”

“Not in the store,” she leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “maybe later.” Then, in a normal tone she continued, “Let me come in with you. Maybe I can see something I want.”

“Well, okay…”

“Hey, there's a spot,” Bonnie yelled to the driver, “go into the lot, NOW!”

The van drew angry honks as it pulled across a lane of traffic, into the lot, and screeched into an open spot and the driver switched off the ignition. “Okay, let's head for tools,” Ed addressed the two men with him.

“We don't need them with us, do we?” 'Shego' purred.

“They're my buds.”

“It will look more natural if we just go in together.”

“Uh, hey, guys. Just stay here. I'm goin' in with the babe to scope things out.”

The two henchmen grumbled, but stayed in the van.

“It looks like tools in the back,” Ed told 'Shego' as he looked around when they got in the store.

“Oh, wait, can we go by major appliances first?”

“Whoa, babe, I'm not talking about setting up house.”

“You like tools,” Bonnie pouted, “I like major appliances. I like things that are big, strong, and built to last.” She ran her fingernails up his arm. “Look at major appliances with me now and I'll check out your major appliance later.”

Bonnie was glad she wasn't wearing her own face as Ed dropped to his knees and performed an extended air guitar solo in the aisle at Sears.

Ron found a parking spot for the Volvo and sauntered over to the panel truck. “Hey, guys, remember me?”

“Get lost,” one of them told him.

“Oh, c'mon, you ought to remember me. It's basic side-kick courtesy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Kim Possible and I stopped you a few years ago and got you thrown in jail. You've really forgotten that?”

“You're the blonde kid?”

“Yeah, that's me. Where are Ed and Shego?”

“Oh, we don't need them,” one man grinned at the other. “I think the two of us would like to thank you for what you did for us.”

Ron leaned back against a parked Chevy and let the two get out and move towards him. For these two he didn't even the Mystical Monkey Power. Unfortunately he felt like he ought to wait for the police after knocking them unconscious. And unfortunately the police insisted he explain why he called them when what Ron wanted to do was go into the store and find Bonnie. He was trying to explain the why he needed to leave when an officer's radio crackled into life, “Ten-ten, fight in progress. Sears store on--”

Ron didn't wait to hear the rest; he was running to the entrance, an officer in active pursuit.

After his air guitar solo had ended an embarrassed 'Shego' helped Ed to his feet. “Come on, I want to look at refrigerators.”

It took a couple minutes to find the major appliance section, but Bonnie stood in awe at the long line of machines. So many choices… Which was perfect for the job she had in mind?

“Can you hurry it up?” Ed grumbled as Bonnie went from one 'fridge to another, tapping on the exterior to get a sense of how heavy the sheet metal was.

“I want a man's opinion on the quality of these two,” Shego called. “Can you give me some help?”

“Sure babe, what do you need?”

“I like the stainless steel exterior on this one. It looks really rugged. On the other hand, the finish on this is so high gloss you can see yourself in the reflection.”

“Stainless is better.”

“Can you look closely at this other one. Notice how you can see yourself?”

“No, can't say that I do.”

“You need to get closer,” 'Shego' told him. “Get a lot closer.”

Ed was a big man. Bonnie had to introduce him to Mr. Refrigerator many times before he finally went down and showed no indications of wanting to get up. Sears was definitely going to have to move that floor sample over to clearance as 'scratch and dent', seriously. Panting, Bonnie looked around her, “Has anyone called the police?” she demanded.

“Uh, yes,” a store clerk confessed.

“Good, he's guilty of kidnapping and I don't know what else.”

She was still standing over the fallen Ed when Ron came running up, “Are you all right? Did he hit you in the eye?”

“Shut up, Ron,” Bonnie grunted, grabbing him and pressing her lips to his.

Ron wondered what in the world was happening for a few seconds. Bonnie must have been terrified and this was the feeling of relief to know that she was safe. Then he put his arms around her, holding her tight, returning the kiss, as they tasted her other's mouths the blood slowly drained from his brain for portions of his anatomy farther south. He was in real danger of forgetting where he was and risked being banned for shopping from Sears when she suddenly pushed him away.

“Thanks, Ron. I needed that.”

“Wha? Needed huh?” Ron asked in a daze, wanting to draw her back into his arms.

“Justine kissed me. I needed to know I wasn't a lesbian.”

“Justine? You? Come here,” Ron reached for her, “let me show you want I think.”

“No,” she smiled. “Your reaction was perfectly normal. Are the twins are okay? What happened?”

“Felix says the twins are doing wonderful. They're probably home now. What happened to your eye? Did he hit you?”

“Not on purpose. He was sort of thrashing around while I was beating him against the 'fridge.”

“I hope you don't have a black eye for the wedding.”

The police arrived to take Motor Ed into custody before Bonnie could respond.

Ron's cell phone rang while they were talking with the police. “Are you and Bonnie okay?” Felix asked. “I left Justine and the girls at your place.”

“We're fine. Bonnie took out Motor Ed all by herself.”


“Where' Monique?”

“She went downtown with the police to file charges. I'm on my way to get her. Where are you?”

“Sears, the appliance department. Ed looks like she dropped a refrigerator on him.”

“Cool, I'm about three blocks from there. Which door are you parked by?”

“South entrance.”

“Great, I'll see you when you get out. 'Nique is probably not done downtown yet.”

They headed over to Felix's van, parked in a handicapped spot as soon as they were out the door.

“How are the girls?” Bonnie demanded as soon as she got to his open window.

“They're fine. They're asking for you though. I think they're worried about you.”

Bonnie laughed. “Those two are great. C'mon Ron, let's go home.”

Felix caught Ron's eye, “Is everything really okay?”

“Yeah, I think he clipped Bonnie in the eye just a little. She may need some makeup to cover it up for the wedding.” Ron suddenly realized Felix was staring intensely at him. “What's going on?” he demanded.

“This is weird, but you and Justine are both looking kind of green around the mouth. Have you been kissing Justine? Is it contagious?”

“Uh, I think you get it from kissing Bonnie.”

Bonnie hit him, “Take me home. Now.”

“See ya' back at the house,” Ron promised.

Drakken was at the house, cuddling Sheki while Justine held Kasy. “I just wanted to make sure Shego's girls were okay,” he told them before leaving.

It was several hours later when Jean Possible dropped off Kim. By that time the twins had calmed down and when Kim got into the house she found everyone in the living room with several pizza boxes and a couple small bowls of baby food scattered around. Bonnie was on the couch, with an ice bag on one eye and Kasy curled up on her lap.

“It looks like you had a party without me,” the red head complained.

“Trust me, Kim,” Justine told her, “It was no party. I walked a mile in your shoes today and my feet are killing me.”

“Are those my clothes?”

“Yeah, I haven't changed.”

“Were you and Felix doing something kinky or-- Wait, don't tell me. I don't want to hear about it.”

“I know you don't want to hear about it,” Ron told her. “But you have to hear about it. The girls were kidnapped by Motor Ed--”


“Look, they're here now and they're fine.” Felix assured her. “Now grab a slice and listen to the story. Bonnie is a hero.”


“Yeah,” the man in the wheelchair continued. Kim stared at Bonnie, who waved back. “Justine too -- and Monique. Ed wanted to talk with Shego and figured grabbing the twins was the best way to get her attention.”

“I'll kill him. I swear, I'll kill him.”

“Cool the jets KP, Bonnie already did a number on him. Now grab a slice and sit or no one will tell you any more.”

“Okay,” Kim agreed reluctantly. “Is there any pepperoni left?”

“Girl, it's all pepperoni and sausage tonight,” Monique told her. “With Shego gone we are doing serious damage to the pig population.”

“Does she get the G rated version or the one with the osculation?” Justine asked.

“Without,” Bonnie snapped. “You don't want to go there.”

“Not the way you kiss, that's for sure.”

“I beg to differ,” Ron thought to himself.

Kim had no idea what they were talking about, but listened in wonder as they recounted the tale.

As the story came to a close Kim asked, “Has anyone called Shego?”

“No. We tried, but your brothers said she's at the library. They say she's really booking it.”

“Well, let me try. I don't know what to say guys. I just… Thanks. You're the best.”

Kim left to make the call to her parents' home. She had a stroke of luck when Joss answered. “Is Shego there?”

“Yeah, she just came in. Let me--”

“No, before you call her I have to ask a favor of you first.”

“What is it?”

Kim took a deep breath, “You know how hard I argued with you to get you to agree to stand up with me at the wedding?”

“Yeah, I jus' know Poppa and Momma are gonna be mad at me when they hear 'bout it.”

“I feel bad, but after spending so much time trying to talk you into it, would you feel bad if I asked someone else?”

“Really? Ta be honest with ya I'd probably be more relieved than anythin' else.”

“Not angry at all?”


“Thanks Joss, you're great. Now, if you could get Shego I'd appreciate it.”

“Sure thing.”

Part way through the story Shego interrupted Kim with, “I'll kill him. I swear, I'll kill him.”

“Oh, that's scary.”

“What, that I'd threaten to kill someone for hurting the girls?”

“No, that we're starting to think alike. I said the same thing.”

As she finished the tale Kim told the older woman, “I've asked if Joss will give up her place in the wedding party.”

“You're going to tell me who you want to bring in, or is this a test to see if we really are thinking alike?”

“Do I need to tell you?”

“No, I'll bet you don't. See you on February fourteenth.”

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