Zita was cleaning in the kitchen at the former Lair when the phone rang, “Lipsky and Load, how may I direct your call?”
“Yo, is cousin Drew there?”
“Please hold while I find him.” She hit the intercom button and announced, “Mr. Lipsky, line two for you.”
“I wish she'd say Doctor,” Drakken complained as he picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Yo! Drewster! How's it hanging?”
“Yeah, man. My buds busted me out of the joint two weeks ago. Your mom says you're going legit, is that some new scam you're running on her or what?”
“I'm, uh, just biding my time. Lull people into a false sense of security before I try to take over the world.” Wade looked up from experiment one hundred and seventeen on creating a stable cloning technique. He noted with relief that Drakken had his fingers crossed.
“So, what are your plans now that you're out?”
“Nothing fer certain. Probably do some custom work for outlaw bikers until I think of something I really want long term. Short term I want to party. It's lonely in stir. I thought a lot about your lady who can scrap. I want to see if she wants to step out.”
“Uh, Shego is not with me any more.”
“Oh, sorry, man. You got a number for her?”
“I don't think that would do you much good. She's getting married in six days.”
“Hey, she's not married yet. She might want a last fling. I fling real good.”
“She seems fairly devoted to Kim.”
“What did you say the lucky dude's name is?”
“Kim, Kim Possible.”
“Whoa, man. Major weird. Isn't that like, Red's name? Is he a brother or something?”
“Er, no. Shego and Kim, Red, are living together.”
There was a pause on the other end of the phone as Motor Ed tried to process the images. “Sick and wrong, man, seriously. Lesbians are supposed to be ugly. So where is the green babe living?”
“You're not going to call her, are you?”
“Of course not, man. I'm just curious. I kind of thought there was some sort of connection between me and her. Maybe I'll send her a wedding gift. Any idea what they might like?”
“She and Kim seem to have everything they need. I'm actually getting them a gift certificate to a children's clothing store.”
“They have two daughters.”
“You've been out of touch for a long time.”
“I guess so, man. Weird, seriously. Can you give me the address in case I want to send a card or package?”
“Certainly,” Drakken agreed. What could it hurt?
“We've been out here an hour, Ed. What are we looking for?”
“My green babe, or Red. I want to know what's happenin' with them.”
“We've seen a guy arrive with a wheelchair--”
“Oh, yeah. I recognized him. He's a friend of Red's; this is the place. I want to get a little leverage on Shego. I'm looking for a couple kids.”
“So how long we gonna sit here?”
“As long as it takes, man,” Ed replied, slapping his assistant on the head.
“So, whose kids are they?” a second man asked.
“I don' know,” Ed replied. “Sometimes 'ol Drew called them Shego's kids and sometimes he called 'em Red's kids. But I think we can get the attention of 'em both if we grab the brats.”
The day was unusually warm for February and Bonnie decided the twins could use a little fresh air. She bundled them up and loaded the toddlers in a double stroller for a fast trip to campus. She didn't notice a panel truck that had been parked near the house as she pushed her charges down the sidewalk. Nor did she notice it following her until it pulled to the curb slightly ahead of her and three men jumped out. A man with a mullet and biceps like volleyballs demanded, “Are these Red's kids?”
“Kim, or whatever her real name is,” he looked at the two youngsters, surprised to see some of Shego's coloring. “Yeah, these are the brats.”
Bonnie tried backing away, but he grabbed the stroller. Bonnie swung at him, but he caught her fist. As she struggled he told his men, “Grab the kids.” To Bonnie he gave a warning, “Tell the green babe I want to see her. Hell, tell Red I want her to come too. I want to see both of them. I don't believe what I heard. You tell 'em to be on the corner of Nineteenth and Ash at one. One, you got that? And tell 'em not to call the cops and to come alone if they want to see the kids again.”
The big man jumped into the back of the panel truck with the other men and the two girls, both of whom were now screaming, as the truck accelerated away from the curb, tires squealing. Bonnie stared at the truck, memorizing the license plate. She turned the stroller upright, the idiots hadn't even taken the diaper bag, and then the dancer started running home with a speed few runners could have matched.
Bonnie left the stroller in front of the porch as she dashed up the steps and burst into the house, “RON! RON! Someone took the twins!”
Bonnie was panting from the run as Monique came running from her room upstairs, Ron came into the entryway from the kitchen, and Justine came out from the living room -- followed a minute later by Felix in his wheelchair.
“Anyone know where Kim is for sure?” Bonnie gasped.
“Shopping with her mom. I don't know where.”
Bonnie cursed, whipped out her cell phone and hit a speed number. Kim's cell phone rang in the closet. “The idiot wore the wrong coat.” Bonnie cursed the warm weather that had encouraged her to take the twins out and caused Kim to wear a lighter jacket.
“Slow down, slow down,” Ron demanded, moving behind her and gently massaging her neck and shoulders. “Tell us what happened.”
Still trying to catch her breath, Bonnie told the story as best she could. Ron stopped her part way through the story, “He called Kim Red, and he had a blonde mullet?”
“Yeah, do you know who he is?”
Ron looked at Felix and raised an eyebrow, “The son-of-a-bitch,” the man in the wheelchair said.
Justine looked at Felix in surprise, “Who are you talking about? I don't think I've ever heard you use that term.”
“He stole my wheelchair, his name is Motor Ed. From what I hear it was Drakken's idea, but he had the excuse of being crazy. The story is that Shego tried to talk them out of it. He must want revenge on Kim.”
Ron nodded, “Revenge makes sense.”
“Shego, we've got to call Shego,” Bonnie said and raised her cell phone.
Ron took the phone from her hand, “No. She might really hurt someone. Even if the court eventually rules it justifiable she'd be in jail on February fourteenth.”
“So what are you saying we should do, Mr. Know-it-all?” Bonnie snarled.
“First, finish your story. Did you get the license number?”
“Of course, Dumbo--”
“Should we call the police,” Justine asked.
“That sounds reasonable to me,” Monique added.
“I don't think it's what Kim would do,” Felix said. “'Mon, why don't you call Wade, see if he can locate Kim.”
The black woman nodded and left to find a quiet spot to make her phone call.
“Damn it, we've got to do something,” Bonnie snarled. “He wants to see Shego and Kim at one. And we can't find Kim and you won't let me call Shego.”
“Don't give up on Kim.” Ron told her. “I'll bet Wade can find her. Finish your story while Monique makes her call.”
Bonnie, finally starting to recover her breath, filled in the rest of the details.
Ron voiced his opinion, “Sounds like he really wants to see Shego. I happen know someone who makes a very convincing Shego.”
“Me?” Bonnie asked in surprise.
“Yeah, you,” Ron said. “We'll wire you. If they take you where the girls are the rest of us will move in--”
“I don't know how much help I can be,” Justine said nervously.
“Well, I'll move in. If we can get Kim the two of us can take out Motor Ed and his gang without any trouble.”
“We're not getting Kim,” Monique announced as she rejoined the group. “Wade is out of town. I talked with Drakken for a minute. He's the one who told Ed about the wedding. He doesn't think the motive is revenge. He said Ed has some kind of a crush on Shego.”
“Oh, that's wonderful,” Bonnie muttered, “can't that woman have any normal relationships?”
“Maybe we should call the police,” Ron said.
“No we won't. We'll stop him ourselves.” Bonnie looked at Justine. “Ron, go get me two oranges.”
“Two oranges and a little padding ought to be about right for Kim here.”
“I still don't--”
“Look, Kim isn't grapefruit sized. Now get me the damn oranges!”
Felix spoke up, “I'm not sure I want Justine to--”
“Well, she'll make a better Kim than you, Ron, or Monique.” Bonnie looked at the thin woman, “You want to try and help Kim?”
“Good, I'm going to make sure that bastard Motorhead regrets the day he crossed Bonnie Rockwaller.”
Ron knew he'd have to tell her it was Motor Ed before she left, but he wasn't about to correct her at that particular moment.