“Aw, dude, seriously – you know how much Lysol it’s gonna take to disinfect this place after we get this mess wiped up? I mean, you’ve got the bad guy thing down totally, Cuz – but you’re gonna have to work on the cleanup process a bit – seriously.”
“Well, excuse me for not covering the furniture in plastic – I’ve been a little busy with other things at the moment…”
“Naw, man, I ain’t complainin’ at all, seriously – just pointin’ it out, that’s all.”
“I know, I know – here, hand me the sponge again…”
“Now – why aren’t your henchmen doing this? Seriously.”
“…Good point. BILL! MARK! GET THE HELL IN HERE!”
“You found Kim?” Ron asked Wade.
“Yeah,” replied the supergenius over the big screen. “But you’ll have to come to my house to talk about it – it’s too risky over a line like this.”
“W - we actually get to see you in the flesh?” Ron gasped.
“Yay,” added Shego unenthusiastically.
“Yep,” Wade smiled. “Both you guys step back a bit – there,” he added.
“Why? What happens NEEXXT!” Ron cried out as the floor opened beneath him and Shego’s feet and they were sent hurtling down a network of underground tubes. As quickly as their tubecoaster ride had begun, it ended, with the two emerging onto small landing pads off to the side wall - in Wade’s room. “That was totally BADICAL!” Ron shouted, pumping his fist. Rufus popped up, agreeing with him.
“Wade? Did I just hear someone else in your room?” a voice called through the door.
“Uh…videogame, Mom!” called a voice that made Ron freeze.
“Alright, well, turn it down!”
“Kay!” Wade called back, then looked at Ron. “Ron, you can shut your jaw now.”
Rufus did the action instead. All Ron could do was squeak at the sight of a live Wade.
“Alright, Wade – you said you found Kim,” said Shego. “Where is she?”
“I just got a notification from Big Daddy Brotherson – oh, don’t worry, Shego, it was sent under serious security measures – Kim apparently jacked Bernice’s plane and went to him for help. He says she looked like she was on the verge of a serious nervous breakdown – apparently, she freaked out when he told her she’d stolen the plane, and went babbling on about being innocent, screaming something about not doing something, this not being her, she’s the hero, she’s innocent, etc…sounds pretty bad, guys.”
“Yeah,” said Shego solemnly, her head down, trying to forget her own past. “I know exactly how she feels.”
“You do?” asked Ron, snapping out of his awed shock.
“Long story – and I’m not telling it right now, sidekick.”
“How long of a story?”
“Ask Kim. She’s the only one I’ve told it to.”
“You told Kim your life story?” asked Ron, astonished. “But I thought you two were en-”
“This isn’t the time, Ron!” Shego spat. “Wade, there any way we can go to her? Without being tailed?”
“Wow, where’d you learn how to be all – Kimish?” Ron asked.
“You forget I used to be a hero myself,” Shego reminded him.
“Huh? Oh yeah – with that one dude who tried to kill the naco…” Ron glared.
“Uh…Yeah, Shego,” Wade cut in. “But it’s gonna take a while to get the directions with the security measures we gotta take to communicate. You want an estimate, I’d say about a ½ hour, hour at most.”
“Great. What do we do in the meantime?” Shego grumbled.
“You wanted to spar?” asked Ron.
Shego grinned. “Send us back up the tubes, Wade.”
--
“This place won’t come down if I use my fire, will it?” Shego asked, looking around Kim’s personal training facility – which looked like a landfill with an old-style telephone booth outside on the street.
“Nah. If it does, then I can’t claim I built it,” said Wade over the big screen.
“Alright, then, Stoppable – let’s dance.” Shego grinned, igniting her hands with a snap of her fingers.
When Ron instantly assumed a ridiculous form and started circling her, Shego was startled. Okay…so he knows his stuff…”Nice form, sidekick,” she taunted, trying to get him to attack first.
“Don’t you usually attack first?” asked Ron.
“If you insist – HRRRAH!” she yelled, running at him, swinging the punch - and missing completely. She didn’t even have time to react before Ron grabbed her outstretched arm, flipped over her back – and hurled her halfway across the room, with nary a drop of sweat emerging from him as he did so.
“Okay…that was completely unxepected,” Shego blinked.
“Had enough?” Ron asked.
Shego flipped herself to her feet. “Oh, if you think that’s all I got…” She charged again, and this time faked a punch while throwing her feet out. It worked, and Ron was the one hurled across the room. But he didn’t land with a slam – instead, he calmly threw his hands out, propelled himself up against a wall, backflipped up onto a pole hanging from a roof, and dropped down with a power kick that Shego barely had time to block, she was so stunned by the agility and speed with which Ron had pulled the moves off.
“Okay sidekick – ya’ got the moves. I’ll give you that. But let’s see you handle some FIRE!” She hurled blast after blast of her green fire at Ron – and watched in stunned amazement as he barely moved to dodge them all. “Alright, this is just getting ridiculous – HRRRAHHH!” She charged him head on and engaged him in a dizzying hand-to-hand battle with her hands aflame. Fist after fist, punch after punch. POW! BAM! THOK! It was like a comic book come to life. Shego punched. Ron blocked. Ron kicked, Shego punched. Finally, Shego grabbed him, flipped him on his back, and pinned him with her foot. She sneered. “Can’t beat the 2nd most dangerous woman in the world, can you?” she snorted.
Ron grinned. “No, but you still can’t beat the most dangerous one!” he retorted – while he grabbed her foot and spun around, throwing her down to the floor before pinning her like a wrestler. “Hah! Booyah!”
But Shego wasn’t done. Like a breakdancer, she pulled a vicious version of The Snake while she bit his hands, which allowed her to throw him off her as he screamed in pain. She got up, grinning widely.
“Ow! Nobody said anything about biting!” Ron whined.
“But nobody said anything about rules, either!” Shego yelled as she swung. CRACK! Her punch clocked Ron in the face, sending him flying backwards and slamming into the wall behind him. “Ha! How you like them apples, Stoppable?” she taunted.
“Forget apples – help me find my teeth!” Ron groaned.
“No can do!” replied Shego, launching into a jump kick at Ron – who stood up, grabbed her leg, and slammed her face-first into the wall. “Ooh – nice fake, Ron,” Shego mentioned, groaning in pain.
“The Ron’s got more where that came from!” gloated Ron – until Wade appeared on the giant screen.
“Guys! I got the details on how you can get to Kim!” said Wade.
“Finally…” remarked Shego, getting to her knees.
Ron helped her stand up up. “Call it a draw?” he asked.
Shego thought about it. “Eh – for now.” She was still having a hard time swallowing the fact someone else besides Kim had actually fought her to a draw – and that that someone else had been her sidekick…
Kim woke up to an empty room. “Hello?” She looked around. Where was she? Had she been captured?
Oh, right…
She was safe, thanks to Big Daddy Brotherson. She sighed in relief. Might as well take a look around, she thought, getting up. She opened the closet to see what clothes Big Daddy had left for her - and jumped back in utter horror:
Every outfit in the closet was an orange prison uniform.
“No!” She slammed the closet door, looked around, and frantically wrapped herself in a makeshift dress out of the bedsheet, making especially sure to cover her hair. She ran into the hallway – and froze in terror.
The hallway was absolutely crawling with police officers. With Soldiers. With G.J. agents. With red-suited security guards carrying energy lances – no! Those were Drakken’s henchmen! Kim worked to hide her terrified face from view as she hurriedly waded down the hallway through the sea of people.
When she finally emerged from the rush hour traffic, she fell to her knees, gasping in relief for air. But she couldn’t stop there. She forced herself to her feet, and ran down the stairs that were nearby. Making it to the first floor, she beelined for the front door, and burst outside onto the streets, where she ducked into a back alley to catch her breath and regain herself.
“What is going on?” she asked no one but herself.
She peeked out onto the street – and ducked back into the alley when she saw a shadow approaching. She watched the shadow get closer – and get smaller as it did. “Huh? What the f-”
She stopped talking to herself when she heard a very young voice, female, singing:
“Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round it goes.
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round it goes.
Can you be sure
The first time it slows
That with certainty
True love is shown?
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
Spin the bottle ‘round.
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round it goes.
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round it goes.
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round and ‘round it goes.
Uh-oh! Double-necked bottle!
Whatcha gonna do?
Uh-oh! Double-necked bottle!
You see me and I see you.
Spin, spin, spin the bottle
‘Round and ‘round and ‘round and ‘round…”
The shadow leveled out. Kim instantly splayed her back against the wall, just in case.
She gasped when the originator of the shadow skipped along into view: It was a girl, just barely preschool age. With black hair, pale skin, wearing a green dress, and black bow ties in her pigtails.
“Uh-oh! Double-necked bottle!
You see me and I see you.”
“Shego?” Kim whispered.
The little girl stopped skipping and looked behind her. Seeing Kim cowering in the alley, the girl’s face went soft. “Are you lost, Ma’am?”
“I’m fine,” said Kim, turning her head away.
“You sound sad,” the girl pressed. “No one should be sad.”
Underneath her makeshift hood, Kim smiled slightly. She never thought that she could ever find Shego cute – if that girl was Shego…
“No, I’m fine, little lady – you run along to your parents now.”
Despite what she’d just said, the girl’s face dropped. “But I don’t have any parents…”
“Oh. Uh – I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”
The girl’s lower lip started trembling. “They – they-”
“Hey, hey – what happened to “No one should be sad,” little lady?” Kim asked.
“They’re – they’re dead!” the girl wailed.
“Shh, shh – hey, c’mere,” said Kim, kneeling down and letting the girl cry quietly against her body. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”
“NO!”
Kim jumped back with a gasp. “What?”
“YOU DID KNOW – BECAUSE I TOLD YOU!” the girl screamed in a rage.
“What’s going on down there?” a voice yelled from the building Kim had just escaped.
“Nothing!” the girl yelled in the most sweetly innocent tone, all the while glaring at Kim. Then her face shifted, and the girl looked down. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, Ma’am. It’s a sore spot for me.” The girl looked up at Kim with pleading eyes. “Forgive?”
Kim smiled. “Of course, dear.”
The girl motioned for a hug, and Kim allowed it. But when the hug ended, the girl inadvertently pulled the makeshift hood off Kim’s head. The girl froze in fear. “You’re – you’re – no! I don’t believe it!” the girl stammered.
“Huh?” Kim realised the girl wasn’t staring at her anymore, but behind her. “I’m – I’m what?” she asked, turning around – and found herself looking straight at her own “WANTED” poster.
“HEY! IT’S HER!” someone yelled, making Kim whirl around.
“IT’S THE MURDERER!” cried another voice.
“NO! I’M NOT-” Kim began.
“GET HER!” someone else yelled.
Kim turned to run – and screamed as she was greeted by a wall of cops outside the alley. Looking back, Kim and the girl were surrounded by GJ agents – and up on the roofs were Drakken’s henchmen. “CAN’T YOU GET US OUT OF HERE?” the little girl shrieked, looking up at Kim in terror.
“I’M TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO!” Kim screamed, picking up the girl as the crowd closed in. “BACK OFF!” she screamed. “BACK OFF! I didn’t murder anyone!”
“SHE’S TAKEN A HOSTAGE!” one of the cops yelled. “REPEAT: SHE HAS TAKEN A HOSTAGE! WE NEED SWAT BACKUP, NOW!”
“WHAT? NO! I HAVEN’T TAKEN A HOSTAGE! I’M INNOCENT!” Kim screamed – all while scanning every viable clear route of exit she could take if things ended up getting really ugly.
The girl clung tighter to Kim. “Don’t let them take me from you!” she cried.
“I won’t! Kim reassured her. “I promise you, I won’t!”
“WE’RE SENDING IN SOMEBODY TO NEGOTIATE!” the policeman said through a bullhorn.
“I DON’T NEED TO NEGOTIATE! I’M INNOCENT! CAN’T YOU ALL SEE THAT?” Kim snarled. “I DIDN’T DO IT!”
“She’s refused negotiation. You know what to do!” the policeman told his officers.
“Sir!”
“I DON’T NEED NEGOTIATIONS! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LET US LIVE IN PEACE?” Kim shouted. “WHY?”
“Grab the girl!” she heard a SWAT officer yell, and before Kim knew it, she’d backflipped out of the attempt to snatch the child from her arms. “LEAVE US ALONE! I DIDN’T MURDER ANYONE!”
“Should we open fire?” she heard a cop ask.
“NO!” the girl yelled, frantic. “NO! BACK AWAY! SHE’S NOT WHO YOU WANT!”
Suddenly, the whole crowd swarmed the two. “STAY BACK!” Kim yelled, kicking away as many people as she could. But eventually it became too much, and someone grabbed the girl and started to pull her away from Kim. “NO! SHEGO!”
“HELP! DON’T LET THEM TAKE ME! NO!” the girl yelled as her fingers slipped out of Kim’s.
“SHEGO!” Kim screamed. Then she focused her glare in front of her. “HRRAH!” she bellowed, and immediately started plowing through the crowd, planting foot to face, fist to nose, whatever – if it was in her way, she was determined to knock it down. “WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE SEE THAT I’M INNOCENT?” she roared, landing a CRACKing punch to the jaw of one of the policemen. “I DIDN’T MURDER!” A GJ agent went down by her foot. “I’M THE HERO! I AM NOT THE ONE WHO MURDERED DEMENTOR! I DIDN’T DO IT!” A Drakken henchman was felled by an “errant” knee. A shadow fell over the crowd as Kim repeated over and over again. “I DIDN’T DO IT! I’M INNOCENT! WHEN WILL YOU SHITHEADS SEE THAT?” Then she looked up in terror as a huge, pale-skinned hand came out of the sky straight for her. “NO! I’M INNOCENT!” She turned and tried to run, but the hand was too fast. It grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her backwards into the sky. “NO! I DIDN’T DO IT! I DIDN’T MURDER DEMENTOR!” But the hand just dragged her higher into the sky. “LET ME GO! LET ME GO! I’M INNOCENT! I DIDN’T KILL! I DIDN’T DO I-”
“KIM!” The hand forcibly turned her around as Kim’s eyes flew open – to find Shego staring right at her, shell-shocked.
“SHEGO!” Kim cried, embracing her with relieved sobbing.
Shego let the 18-year old just cry quietly against her body. “Jesus Christ, Kimmie - what did they do to you in prison?” she asked. “By the way, it’s not just me. Ron’s here, too.”
Kim looked right into Shego’s eyes. “Ron’s here?” She shifted her view to over Shego’s shoulders.
“Down here!” said Ron. Kim looked down. “Is it safe to hug you now?” he asked her.
Ron had more than a few nasty scratches on his face and arms. “Ron? What happened to you?” Kim asked.
“You gave him some nasty cuts there, Princess,” Shego cracked, flashing a smile and running her finger through Kim’s bangs. “And don’t think you spared me, either.”
“What – what the hell happened?” asked Kim.
“They’ve been trying to restrain you for the past 2 hours.” Kim looked over as Big Daddy Brotherson appeared in the doorway. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more determined to help a friend.”
“Ron, you’re safe now,” Kim smiled. Shego backed off and let the two childhood friends embrace each other. “Two hours?” she asked him.
“Actually, it was Shego who restrained you for 2 hours, Kim – I copped out about 10 minutes before.”
“Ron…” Kim never finished the sentence. But her eyes told him that she didn't care how long he'd tried to restrain her, she was just happy he'd even tried to in the first place.
“Yeah, okay, this is fine and dandy, but now we gotta figure out what Drakken’s up to,” Shego reminded everyone.
“Yeah – I’m still wondering how he was even able to hold a gun with those tiny-ass hands,” Ron cut in.
“Well, obviously, he made some modifications on the handle,” Shego grumbled. “Duh…”
“Modifi – Shego! That’s it!” Kim snapped her fingers.
“Huhwha?” Shego asked. “What’s it?”
“Is it cool to contact Wade?”
“Uh, if you wanna talk to him, you can’t use the Kimmunicator,” Shego noted.
“Okay – so, what? Do I call him on the regular line?” asked Kim.
Ron and Shego looked at each other.
“Alright, boss, the mess is cleaned up.”
“Good. Now leave, Ed and I are meeting somebody.” Drakken’s henchmen left the room. As they did, the dogs Kara and Fang appeared by Drakken and Motor Ed, happily yipping and barking. “Aw, yes, you are a good little insane dog!” Drakken coyed, scratching behind Fang’s ears. Finished, he stood up, facing back in the direction Motor Ed was. A whistle called the dogs away from the two villains, and back into the shadows. Drakken never looked behind him when he spoke. “They’re very well-trained.”
“Of course they are.”
Tara emerged from the shadows, an evil grin on her face that no one but Drakken and Motor Ed would have even thought she was capable of pulling off. “And with Bonnie down forever, all I need is Kim to be history, and captain of the cheer squad will be forever mine! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” she cackled.
“Yes,” Drakken chimed in, “And thanks to the work of the late Dr. Director, I now have in my possession the Hesphaestus project, Version 2.0 – and the knowledge of the mistakes I made last time in the Lil’ Diablo operation! This time, I will win – for now I know how to play the game! AHAHAHAH!”
When he was finished, both he and Tara looked over at Motor Ed.
After an awkward silence, Ed looked around. “Oh, was I, like, supposed to say something? Seriously?”
END CHAPTER TWELVE