“Ohhh, damn that Kim Possible! My greatest scheme ever - RUINED!” Dr. Drakken wailed. “I finally taste the sweet apples of success – I FINALLY SET FOOT UPON THE NINTH CLOUD OF VICTORY - and then she had to show up and turn it all sour grapes!” he sobbed on, falling to his knees.
“Oh, chill out, Dr. D – it wouldn’t have mattered whether or not our trial ended in a mistrial – I still woulda’ busted you out – you know that, right?” Shego scoffed.
“Yes, Shego, but you should know by now that I’m not exactly the type to keep all my feelings inside of me and just spout back sarcasm and spite at the world,” Drakken retorted. “And I got so close…”
“I happen to like spouting back sarcasm and spite, thank you very much!” Shego shot back.
“Yes, but don’t you do anything other than that? Fact, the only time I’ve ever seen you not spouting back sarcasm or spite was that moodulator inci-”
Shego cringed. Her hands flared up green. “DON’T EVEN GO T-”
“I wasn’t! I wasn’t! I was just making a point, is all…” Drakken peeked out from the counter he was now hiding behind. Ever since the Lil’ Diablo ruse had been vaporized by Kim Possible, Shego had been much more volatile and much quicker to attack rather than insult. His attempts at figuring out why she was this way now had so far resulted in Smarty Mart selling out of all their ice packs for the month.
“Yeah, well, I’m gonna make a point in your head if you keep talking about that day!” Shego went on, now looming over him, her face illuminated by her green flames in a twisted lighting scheme that served to only make her appear even more menacing than she normally was.
“What happened at the end of the Lil’ Diablo scheme, Shego? You were once such a nice temperamental person – now you’re just getting snippy over the smallest little things…”
“Snippy?” Shego growled.
The flames grew higher.
“Uh-oh.” Drakken gulped.
“SNIPPY?”
The flames got brighter.
Drakken curled up and waited for the pain to begin.
“You think I’m…SNIPPY?” Shego roared.
“No, it’s just – well, you’ve seemed more agitated ever since then…”
Shego seized Drakken by the collar. “Okay, buster - you wanna know why I’ve been more on edge than usual? Well, it’s because 1) You told me NOTHING about the plan until the last possible second; 2) I’ve been in jail for half a year; 3 – and this one you should know a LOT about already – I – LOST - TO KIM - POSSIBLE – AGAIN!” she shrieked. “AND NOW SHE AND THAT BUFFOON-”
“Stoppable – his name is StoppabWHOAH!” Drakken’s interruption was interrupted when Shego hurled him into the wall - where he stuck in place for a few moments, and made a considerable dent.
“I KNOW WHAT HIS NAME IS, IDGIT!” Shego bellowed. “BUT NOW SHE AND HIM ARE DATING!” she went on, throwing a newspaper at his face to add insult to injury before storming away. “HOW’S THAT FOR EXPRESSING ONE’S EMOTIONS?” She promptly began running up the stairs.
“Wait – Possible and Stoppable are dating?” Drakken scooped up the newspaper in a flash – it was an old copy of Middleton High School’s school newspaper, from 6 months ago. And, indeed - on the front page was a huge picture – of Kim Possible & Ron Stoppable – kissing at their Junior prom. “Well, that’s certainly quite an insult now, Shego – isn’t it?” Drakken meant it as a joke.
It wasn’t taken that way.
“YES!” Shego turned around and launched a blast of green flame so huge Drakken barely managed to dodge it – a blast which sent half of his lair into nothing a smoking pile of ruins.
SLAM!
The noise was enough for Drakken to know she wouldn’t be very chatty for a good long time. He turned around and grabbed a broom to sweep up the newly-caused mess in his lab.
“A MISTRIAL?” Kim Possible couldn’t believe it. “Drakken and Shego got off scot-free because of a MISTRIAL?”
“YES! Kim, are gonna be asking that all day? Because THAT’S ALREADY THE 140TH TIME!” Ron notified her.
“I’m sorry, Ron – but it’s just – a mistrial? It’s pathetic. Thousands of witnesses, worldwide destruction – and they’re out on the streets in 6 months because of something that cheap?”
“Uh, Kim, don’t know if you’ve noticed, but – welcome to the United States of America! How else can those CEOS of companies who scuttled money in fraudulent accounting schemes get off scot-free?”
“Yeah, I know…” Kim sighed. “Tell you the truth, I was kind of expecting them to break out again – not…this…”
“Oh, and by the way, you’ve been spilling your soda in my lap for the last 5 minutes,” Ron noted.
“Oh!” She hadn’t realised her soda cup was tilted. She quickly brought it back to non-spilling level. “Oh, man – your jeans are ruined, Ron!” she said, looking down at the soaked spot on his pants.
“Aw, no big, Kim – the Ron has come prepared!” With those words, he picked her up off his knees – they were dating now - dove behind the bushes, and then emerged wearing a new pair of pants. “That situation has happened one too many times to the Ronster – now he always carries 2 pairs of pants!”
“Aw…I was hoping we’d have to go home for you to change…” Kim purred.
Ron’s eyebrow raised. “You know, I do still have to put them in the washing machine…” His voice cracked as he said it. He’d never gone that far with their relationship before. Kim had constantly started getting bolder with her advances, but…
He sighed. The tension was gone. Kim knew it, too. However, she pulled him close and kissed him anyways. It was enough for right now.
Ron looked away after the kiss ended. “Look, KP…I-I’m gonna be honest here: I know we started out this thing with the sparks-a-flyin’ and all, but now…I don’t know. You’re on a bullet train, I’ve – got the steam engine, you know what I mean? I just don’t think we’re on the same tracks anymore.”
To his surprise, Kim nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re right, Ron…it ‘s not working out.”
“Soo…what do we do?” Ron didn’t want to make the decision this time. Even though the last time he’d tried to break up with Kim, she’d been under the influence of those moodulators – the scars of that incident which would never heal completely - he didn’t want to take any chances with the real Kim.
“I’ve been thinking, Ron…We should see other people.”
The cliché. The wind seemed to pick up as both teens sighed in relief.
“But we gotta still be friends – because you know I’d never be able to fight the bad guys without you helping me – you got that, Ron?”
The other cliché. Ron couldn’t believe how relaxed he was now. “Hey, so not the drama, Kim! You know if there’s a mission, I’ve got your back, alright?”
Kim smiled. “Thanks, Ron!” she said, pecking him on the forehead as she got up and left.
Ron slumped into his chair. “Yeah…you’re welcome.” Rufus popped out his pocket. “Oh, hey, buddy, thanks for staying quiet there,” Ron congratulated the naked mole rat.
“Kim?” Rufus chittered, confused, looking around.
“She left, man. We just broke up.”
“Oh-ho – sorry,” the naked mole rat squeaked.
“Thanks for the sentiment, pal. I mean, it was mutual and all, but…damn.”
“I mean it, Shego – why exactly does the fact that those two are dating make you so angry?”
“It doesn’t bother me!” Shego, cooking, hurled a green flame onto the skillet she was using. The oil in the skillet burst into a huge flame – and then Drakken’s charred breakfast omelette was tossed at him.
“Uh, your actions say otherwise…”
“I mean, why did you have send that Synthodrone in in the first place, blueface?”
“Blueface?”
“I mean, you could’ve just sent me in there, for Christ’s sake! I’d have been able to get so much closer to her than “Eric” would’ve ever been able to get!” the pale-skinned woman snapped.
“Get…closer…to - Shego! That’s brilliant!” Drakken rejoiced.
Shego stopped cooking for a moment. “What?”
“I’ve got a new plan to get revenge on Kim Possible, ONCE AND FOR ALL! AGAIN!” the blue-skinned mad scientist gloated.
“Huh? Oh, no…”
“You’re going to go undercover at Middleton High School for me, Shego!”
Shego bashed her head on the table as he laughed maniacally. “Me and my big mouth…” she groaned.
END CHAPTER ONE