“Shego, what happened to you?”
“Yeah, didn't anyone ever tell you that's not a nice way to greet someone?”
“KP, some explanation please?”
Kim and Shego sat down opposite of Ron in the Bueno Nacho booth.
“The Seniors jumped us last night with some weapon that stole Shego's powers,” said Kim.
“Oh no, that's horrible,” said Ron. “We have to get them back.”
“Why?” said Shego. “I'm not exactly useless without them, you know. I know I could still kick your butt with ease.”
“That would be hurtful if it wasn't so true,” said Ron.
“I agree with Ron,” said Kim. “We have to get your powers back.”
“No, we don't,” said Shego. “We'll be fine without them. Trust me.”
“But…”
“Look, if those guys start using my powers for evil, we'll stop them. But, you know, that's it.”
“Shego, don't you think…”
The Kimmunicator beeped. Kim dutifully answered it immediately.
“What's the sitch, Wade?”
“Bad news,” said Wade. “The Seniors are melting to North Pole using some kind of laser beam and some orbital mirrors.”
“Let me guess,” said Kim. “The laser beam is green?”
“Yeah,” said Wade. “How'd you know?”
“Lucky guess,” said Kim.
“Anyway, they're threatening to submerge islands and countries unless they're made rulers of the world,” said Wade.
“Typical,” said Kim. “Did you arrange for transport?”
“Of course I did.”
“You rock, Wade,” said Kim.
“Yeah, I know.”
Kim turned off her Kimmunicator and pocketed it.
“It's a trap,” said Shego.
“Of course it's a trap,” said Kim. “But we're going anyway.”
“OK, here's the plan,” Kim whispered as she, Ron and Shego landed on the sun-filled beach of the Senior private island. “We go in, we disable the laser and we find some way to get Shego's powers back into her.”
“That's cool with me,” said Ron.
“Not with me,” said Shego. “We go in, we disable the laser. That's it.”
“But…”
“No,” said Shego. “I don't want my powers back.”
“Shego we have to,” said Kim. “We can't risk letting those powers fall into the wrong hands again.”
“Fine,” said Shego. “You take them. See how you like it.”
“Shego, they're your powers. It wouldn't be right for me to take them.”
“That's not it, Princess, and you know it,” Shego hissed. “You're captain of the cheerleading team. You can't afford to have your skin go green, you don't want people whispering behind your back any more than I do.”
“That's not true,” said Kim.
“Please,” said Shego.
“I never cared that you're green,” said Kim. “Isn't that enough?”
Shego's glare softened, but only slightly. “Whatever. If the plan is to turn me back into a freak you can count me out.”
“Fine,” said Kim. “Me and Ron'll deal with the Seniors on our own.”
“Great,” said Shego. “Then I can finally start working on my tan again.”
“I don't believe you,” said Kim. “Come on, Ron.”
“And she calls herself a hero,” Kim muttered, crawling through a convenient airduct.
“Well, you know, while I can admit that Shego with normal skin is kind of a weird sight, I think I can understand where she's coming from,” said Ron.
“Ron, please, she lets vanity get in the way of saving the world?”
“I don't really think it's vanity, KP,” said Ron. “I think it might actually go deeper than that.”
“Well it doesn't matter what it is, saving the world is still more important. Besides, I…”
“You… what?”
Kim shook her head. “Never mind. Let's just keep going.”
Kim and Ron dropped down into an empty corridor and ran towards where the laser was standing according to Wade. Which, as it turned out, was the very large back yard. Junior was louning on a chair next to the swimming pool, tanning. Senior was standing behind a control panel some way away. Presumably, the control panel controlled the huge laser cannon that was now swivelling towards Kim and Ron.
“Ah, Miss Possible, what an expected surprise,” said Senior.
“You mananged to set this up pretty quickly,” said Kim.
“Well, you know what they say. ‘Time is money’. So, therefore, money must equal time, yes?”
“If you say so,” said Kim.
“Indeed,” said Senior. “And now, I fear, you must die.”
Kim quickly jumped to the left while Ron dashed to the right and the green beam struck the now empty tiles between them.
“There,” Kim pointed as the laser turned to aim at her again. “That glowing bottle in the barrel. Get it!”
“OK, KP!” Ron yelled, rushing to the cannon.
The laser swivelled again, this time to fire at Ron, which gave Kim the opportunity to rush close, jump…
And grunt as the air was knocked out of her. Landing on the tiles, she saw the laser cannon suddenly surrounded by some red force field. Getting to her feet, she noticed the same force field behind her, forming a sort of square corridor around the cannon, trapping both her and Ron.
Señor Senior Senior calmly walked over to her, his cane tapping on the tiles.
“Thank you, Miss Possible, for walking right into my trap.”
“The whole laser thing was just a trap for me?” said Kim. “I'm flattered.”
“Do not be too flattered,” said Senior. “I arranged for the laser and the orbital mirrors months ago. But I also knew I had to arrange matters for the inevitable case of your interference.” He pointed with his cane at the laser cannon. “By having the stolen powers of your… friend… power my cannon, I could predict to within a reasonable margin of error how you would approach the issue.”
“You knew I'd go for the bottle,” said Kim flatly.
“Of course,” said Señor Senior Senior. “Why else should I leave to so dangerously exposed and in the open?”
“Because you're a very traditional villain?” Ron said.
“Well, yes, that too, I suppose,” said Senior. “Although I must wonder why Miss Shego isn't with you today. Is she enjoying the loss of her exotic beauty.”
“I don't have to tell you that,” said Kim.
“Of course not,” said Senior. “Although, of course, before the day is out, you will never tell anyone anything ever again. Except Saint Peter, perhaps.”
And, because he was a traditional villain, Senior laughed.
Shego aimed a little stone into the sea.
Damn Possible and her stupid morals. Oh sure, it was easy enough for her to say she didn't mind a green skin, because she wouldn't have it. All she did was…
Kiss it, hug it, hold it close.
OK, fine, so she really didn't care. And that made her the only one in the whole damn world. The only one who, perhaps, really was worth fighting for.
Shego threw another stone into the ocean with a bit more angry force behind it than the last one.
Dammit.
The steel chains were tight and uncomfortable and pushed Kim, Ron and Rufus tightly against a very uncomfortable steel pole. It was attached to the ceiling and was probably controlled by the large control panel where Senior and Junior where now standing behind.
“So, Miss Possible, you are no doubt wondering about the fate I have in store for you?”
“No, not really,” said Ron.
Senior pushed a button and the floor far below Kim's feet opened up to reveal a very large piranha tank.
“Oh, that's original,” said Kim, looking down.
“True, but there's a reason it's a cliché,” said Senior.
Senior pressed another button and the steel pole started to lower. Eventually, and not surprisingly, it would submerge Kim, Ron and Rufus in the piranha-filled water.
“Come Junior, let us leave,” said Senior.
“But father, don't you want to see if it all works out fine?” Junior said.
“Most certainly not,” said Senior. “I have no desire to see Miss Possible viciously torn limb from limb, nor do I think I would enjoy the sight of her stomach being torn open and her intestines spilling into the water.”
Junior held a hand against his mouth. “I see your point, father.”
“I thought you would,” said Senior. “Now then, Miss Possible, I must be going. By the time you will start screaming in agony, I intend to be so far away that I will not hear it.”
Shego flung herself against a wall when she heard the regular tapping of a cane becoming louder and louder. The sound was coming from a little further away where another corridor intersected the one she had been walking through.
“Really, father, you did not have to be so graphic.”
“I was hardly graphic at all, Junior. And I only did it to instill some fear. It is always possible the pirhanas are not hungry and waiting around to see Miss Possible simply drown would not be very satisfying either.”
The voices of the Seniors became more distant. Shego carefully turned into the corridor they had come from and started running. After a set of steel doors slid open before her, Shego quickly saw the steel pole. It was still far away from the water below, but its slow movement suggested that it would keep on moving no matter what.
“Shego!” Kim cried. “You came!”
“Of course I did, Princess,” said Shego, rushing to the control panel. “I knew you wouldn't be able to do anything without me.”
“All right, now can you shut this pole off and quickly!” Ron yelled.
Shego looked over the panel. There was no conveniently labelled ‘Abort’ button. She pressed the one marked ‘Pole', which did nothing and then pushed ‘Basin’ with an equal lack of effect.
“This panel doesn't switch anything off!” Shego shouted.
“What?” Ron yelled. “That's against bad guy rules!”
Shego looked up. She could jump up the pole and get rid of the chains and then they could all jump back onto solid floor.
But in order for her to get rid of the chains…
“Dammit!” said Shego, who turned and ran.
Shego ran through through corridor after hallway, not intending to stop for anything.
But stop she did when she saw a… figure… in a black robe leaning against the wall and another figure (a woman with pale skin, black clothing and an ankh hanging on a small chain around her neck) leaning against the opposite wall.
“What the…” said Shego. “Are you some of Senior's flunkies?”
The figure in the robe raised his head and Shego resisted the urge to turn around and run away again.
NO, said the skeleton. Except that he didn't actually say it. The words just seemed to turn up inside Shego's head.
“You're Death, aren't you?” said Shego.
“That's right,” said the woman.
“You're Death as well?” said Shego.
INDEED.
“So does this mean I'm going to die?”
“Everybody dies,” said Death.
“OK, but does this mean I'm going to die right now?”
YES. WHEN MEASURED AGAINST INFINITY.
“You're not helping, are you?”
“There's only one kind of help we can give,” said Death.
“Whatever,” said Shego. “I don't have time for this.”
Death and Death watched her go.
“Shame really.”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
“Well, she's a nice girl, if you know what I mean.”
Death watched her impassively, although of course, he didn't have much of a choice.
IF YOU SAY SO.
“Must be adrenalin,” Shego muttered to herself. “And the shock of villains not working by the book. I gotta be halucinating or something.”
Another door brought Shego out into the backyard where a black helicopter stood waiting for the Seniors.
“Ah, Miss Shego,” said Senior. “I see you have…”
Shego ignored him and dashed for the laser cannon. She had almost reached it when something landed in front of her and knocked her away. Shego looked up at her sudden attacker. It was metallic and looked quite familiar.
“A robot?” said Shego. “Of Kim?”
“Indeed,” said Señor Senior Senior calmly. “Miss Possible is clearly the superior fighter of the two of you and this robot has been programmed with all her skills, but without the flaws. I trust you'll find it most… challenging.”
“Could be,” said Shego. “But I'm not interested.”
She lunged and robo-Kim instantly took a defensive countering stance that would've worked perfectly if Shego had actually lunged at her. Instead, Shego had gone past her and was crawling up the cannon again, going for the bottle.
Both Seniors turned away from the scene and entered the helicopter.
The tips of Shego's fingers almost reached the neck of the bottle when she felt a metal hand clamping around her ankle and drag her off the cannon, before throwing her away. Shego landed painfully on her back, but quickly jumped back to her feet again.
“Never was one to make it easy one me, were you Princess?”
Robo-Kim didn't respond in any way, but simply remained in fighting stance, protecting the laser.
“If I had my powers back, I'd blast you to pieces easily,” said Shego.
The black helicopter lifted off from the ground and started to hover in the air. A grappling hook started to lower towards the cannon. Shego watched it intently. If she timed it just right…
Shego plunged into a dash again. Robo-Kim aimed a punch at her, but Shego wasn't interested in fighting, jumping on top of the robot and using its head as a jumping board to get on top of the laser now being hoisted up into the air. She landed awkwardly, her arms wrapped around the barrel, her feet kicking uselessly in the air.
The helicopter started ascending, but not terribly quickly. Perhaps the weight of the cannon was a bit too much for it. Not that it mattered to Shego. Swinging her legs around, Shego managed to lie on top of the barrel. Carefully, she started crawling towards the bottle. Once she reached it, she ripped it out of the cannon with remarkable ease.
Shego looked at the glowing green light contained within the glass and wondered what to do. What was the sure-fire way of getting her powers? Would just smashing the bottle be enough?
Well, there was not time for anything else, so it would just have to do. Shego brought the bottle down hard on the cannon, shattering the glass. Green light swam in the air for a moment before shooting into Shego's chest.
Shego watched as her hands went from healthy pink to the pale, sickly green she'd come to know and loathe.
Oh well, it had been fun while it lasted.
Shego looked down. The ground was getting further and further away and from here onto the tiles obviously wasn't an option any more. If she had to jump, she had to land in the pool if she wanted to have any chance of not getting every bone broken. Of course, after a certain height, water was as solid as ground. And there was still that robot to deal with.
Shego gave a mental shrug. In the end, she was still a hero and there were just some things heroes had to do.
She jumped.
Death looked up and so did Death.
“Not long now, I think,” said Death.
NO, Death agreed.
A figure came running through the corridor, now not noticing or simply not having the patience to acknowledge both Deaths. In her hurry, she didn't notice the spider wandering accidentally underneath her green boot.
When you were Death, you were death of everything.
Death kneeled and allowed the soul of the spider to crawl up onto his bony hand.
THAT SEEMS TO BE IT THEN, said Death.
“Looks like,” said Death.
SHALL WE GET GOING?
“You go,” said Death. “I think I'll stick around for a while. See what happens next.”
Death nodded. VERY WELL.
“See ya around.”
YES, said Death. EVERY TIME YOU LOOK INTO THE MIRROR I WOULD IMAGINE.
Death laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“I knew you'd come and save us,” said Ron. “I wasn't worried for a moment.”
“Oh, so when you were yelling you didn't want to die, you were just being…?”
“Rehearsing for the school play?” Ron suggested.
“Of course you were,” said Kim.
Team Possible left the Senior mansion and sauntered back towards they beach where they'd landed.
“Shego…” said Kim.
“Yeah?”
“I… Thanks. For what you did.”
“It was the only way to save you,” said Shego. “So don't think about it.”
Kim took Shego's hand. “No, really. Thank you. Strapped to that pole, I had some time to think and… thank you. I mean it.”
“Don't sweat it, Princess,” said Shego. “I mean it.”
Kim smiled faintly. “Too bad we didn't get the Seniors.”
“Ah, don't worry about them,” said Shego. “It'll be a while before they'll be able to cause trouble again.”
“What makes you say that?” Kim asked.
“Just a hunch.”
“I cannot believe what that girl did to us,” said Junior.
“Yes,” Senior agreed. “It would seem we rather underestimated Miss Shego. One might even go so far as to wonder if she really tried her best in her sparring matches with Miss Possible in the first place.”
Father and son looked at the wreckage of their helicopter for a moment.
“Oh well,” said Senior, turning away, “at least we landed on solid ground.”
“Father, this is a deserted island,” said Junior.
“It's still better than crashing into the ocean.”
“I suppose,” said Junior.
“Still, one must admire the way Miss Shego managed to turn in the air to fire at us and still be able to turn again to land in our swimming pool properly.”
“Must we?”
“Of course we must,” said Senior. “One must always respect one's foes. Especially if they're skilled.”
“If you say so,” said Junior.
“I say so,” said Senior. “Now come, Junior. Let us see if we can find enough wood to light a fire.”
Shego lay in her bed with a peacefully sleeping Kim next to her. If this were a proper Hollywood movie, their blanket would have been vaguely L-shaped and one of them would have been of a different gender.
Of course, if this were a proper Hollywood movie, they would also have been naked underneath that blanket instead of wearing pyjamas (rather old pyjamas in Shego's case since she wasn't really a pyjama kind of person).
Shego turned her hand this way and that. It was still green and it was probably going to stay that way forever. She'd never asked for it. She'd never wanted that damn power, had never been interested in becoming a hero.
But she was and, as she pulled Kim close and nuzzled her red hair, she realised she wouldn't have it any other way.