“And this is where our newest ship, the Hero-Aiding-Mission Detention and INtegrated Global Exit Rocket (HAM-DINGER) is.” said Dr. Possible, proudly. “Once activated, it will carry it’s payload of super villains to the secrete prison satellite, where they will be submitted to a new, experimental rehabilitation program.”
“Great to hear, Dr. P.” said Ron.
“What’s the program, anyway?” asked Kim.
“I’m sorry, Kimmy.” said Dr. Possible. “I’m afraid that Dr. Director told me that has to remain top secret. Suffice to say, that they’ll be presented with a role model of ethical behavior that they will hopefully decide to emulate.”
A red light began to flash on the control panel.
“Dr. Possible, there’s an intruder in the HAM-DINGER bay.” reported a technician. A large monitor changed to show a dark-haired woman, clad in a tight black and green outfit, sneaking around.
“Shego!” said Kim.
“Oh dear, I better call security.” said dr. Possible.
“Don’t worry about it, dad.” said Kim. She cracked her knuckles, grinning. “I can handle Shego on my own. Come on, Ron!”
“Right behind you, KP!” said Ron.
Shego paced around the payload cabin. Dr. Drakken wanted the HAM-DINGER’s flight computer so he could find out where the secret detention satelite was. Hopefully, they could destroy it before any villain… such as themselves… was sent there. Shego could escape from any normal prison, but not even she could escape without help across an airless void.
She turned at the sound of a footstep. A very FAMILIAR footstep. “Hello, princess… “ said Shego. “It bring-your-daughter-to-work day?”
Kim growled. “Here to make an early reservation, Shego?”
The two were just getting ready to engage in a rousing round of rough-housing when Ron stepped into the HAM-DINGER’s cabin and, with typical Ron clumsiness, tripped on the edge of the airlock. Shego dodged to the side as she saw Ron stumble clumsily to her. The dark blonde boy ran into the console, which featured three large, colorful button. He landed on the center blue button.
An alarm siren began to sound. Before Kim or Shego could react, the airlock doors slammed closed.
“HAM-DINGER automatic launch sequence has been iniated.” announced a pleasant, female voice. “All passengers, please lay down on the gravity acceleration couches now.”.
A set of four white plastic couches unfolded from the walls. Each were foam lined, with a harness to help hold a passenger safe.
Dr. Possible’s voice came over the PA System. “Kimmy? Someone has activated the HAM-DINGER’s launch sequence.”
“We know!” said Kim, Shego, and Ron in unison.
Kim continued speaking. “How do we stop it?”
“It’s on total automatic.” said Dr. Possible. “There’s no way to abort the launch. You need to get into the acceleration couches, now.”
Kim and Shego glanced at each other, both women deciding that survival was more important then continuing their fight. Both quickly lay down on the extended acceleration couches. Ron pulled a sleeping Rufus from his pocket.
“Wha’ up?” squeeked Rufus, startled awake as Ron placed him in the middle of a human-sized acceleration couch and fastened a strap over the naked mole rat.
“No time to explain.” said Ron. “We’re about to head up in the great blue yonder.”
“Wha’ push now?” asked Rufus.
Ron got busy getting into his own acceleration couch, rather then answer.
The female voice spoke again. “Launch sign in five seconds. Four… three… two… one…. Launch.”
The HAM-DINGER rocketed aloft, it’s powerful thrust pushing the four occupants deep into the foam couches. As the HAM-DINGER rushed onward to it’s preprogrammed destination, Dr. Possible rushed to his office. Inside, a red telephone waited, under a clear glass cover. He lifted the cover up and picked up the handset, awaiting for an answer on the other end.
“Hello, Dr. Possible.” said Dr. Director. “What can I do for you this evening?”
“Betty, we have a problem.” said Dr. Possible, not indulging in any pleasant chit-chat. “Shego had managed to break into the HAM-DINGER. My daughter and Ron were going to stop her, but the HAM-DINGER’s launch sequence was somehow triggered. They’re on their way to there… you know, the secret prison satellite.”
“I understand.” said Dr. Director, considering. The experimental Global Justice Prison Satellite was top secret. According to most official documentation, it was a central-data gathering satellite, known as the Key Information Gathering Operations Satellite (Or ‘Satellite of KIGO‘). It was protected by the latest in self-targeting space weaponry. Currently, the HAM-DINGER was the only ship capable of carrying people that could approach the Satellite of KIGO, and it was purely meant as a one-way vehicle. The entire project hadn’t been meant to start until they had built a ship capable of carrying people to and form the satellite. “Perhaps this isn’t as serious as you think, doctor. Let’s face it, Shego is the sort of person we had in mind when we designed the Satellite of KIGO.”
“I understand.” said Dr. Possible. “But what about my daughter? Oh, and that Ron fellow.”
“A baseline.” said Dr. Director. “A control group, if you will. We can moniter their minds, and see how the retraining process works on all three of them. Correct me if I’m wrong, but for the moment there is nothing they can do to control when the training begins or ends… it’s totally automated.”
“That’s true, but…” Dr. Possible hesitated. Scientific curiosity warred with his protective parental instincts. “Well, at least she’ll be just lost in space rather then out with some boy.”
“That’s the spirit, doctor.” said Dr. Director. “Let me know when the project begins.”
The HAM-DINGER, transmitting a complex encoded signal, approached the Satellite of Kigo. Automated weapon sensors washed over the rocket capsule, and allowed it to approach without firing. The rocket engines disengaged, floating off, as the HAM-DINGER’s control room docked with the main satellite. Nanites, built into the skin of the satellite, went to work, permanently connecting the two space vehicles together.
The female voice spoke. “Docking and securing procedures complete. Artificial gravity is now on. Prisoners may now move about the vessel.”. The straps holding the group down unfastened. Kim and Shego got to their feet, cautiously. Ron got up and moved over to free Rufus. “Gee, where are we?” he asked.
Shego rolled her eyes. “Gee, maybe we’re in space?” she said, sarcastically.
“Kim? Kim, can you hear me?”
“Dad?” said Kim, as Ron said “Dr. P?”
“Kim.” said Dr. Possible, over the radio. “You’re now on the Global Justice’s experimental prison satellite. Don’t worry… All the systems are fully functional, except one.”
“How do we get back to Earth?” asked Ron.
“That’s the one system that isn’t functional.” admitted Dr. Possible. “Until we can figure out how to get you guys home, you’ll have to stay up there. The rehabilitation program will start in a few minutes.”
Shego groaned. “Oh, great… I already KNOW how to crochet, can we just skip it?”
“I’m afraid not, the program is hardwired into the Satellite, specifically designed so prisoners could NOT avoid it.” said Dr. Possible.
“Hey, if Shego can handle it, we can.” said Kim, confidently. “So, what is the program?”
Dr. Possible hemmed. “Um… basicly, the idea is the prisoners would be subjected to written material featuring someone selected as being an ideal role model.”
Shego groaned. “We’re going to read Mr. Rogers stories?”
“No…” said Dr. Possible. “Actually, Global Justice selected…. Kim Possible.”
“ME?” said Kim, startled.
“Affirmitive.” said Dr. Possible. “They discovered a source of text documents involving your missions… both ones you have done, and ones that are purely imaginary.”
“I heard about those…” said Kim. “My cousin said there was a couple websites featuring those stories. What did she call them? Fan-fics?”
“Bland-Pics is more like it.” groaned Shego. “This is ridiculous!”
An alarm began to sound, and one of the three buttons began to flash.
“What’s that?” demanded Shego, as Ron panicked and began running back and forth.
“You’ve got fan-fic sign!” said Dr. Possible. “Get to the theatre!”.
A set of doorways opened, one doorway at a time. Kim grabbed the panicking Ron and, with surprising strength, carried the lanky teen into the theatre. Shego, grumbling, led the way into the theatre.
The theatre was a row of seats, facing a large white screen. Shego sat down, followed by Kim and Ron.
*6* *5* *4* *3* *2* *1*
At the centenial exibit of the 1903 world's fair, Kim Possible and a group of students
Shego: “…were searching for the missing letters from the ‘Centennial Exhibit’.”
Kim: “Shego! We‘re supposed to be reading this, not criticizing it!”
Ron: “Oh, come on, Kim. It‘ll be fun!”:
from Middleton High were listening to Mr barkin read a report from his great-grandfather, Middleton's chief of police a hundred years ago, accuseing her ancesstress--Mimsie Possible--of pulling off “the crime of the century!”
Shego: “Wow, Kim… I’m impressed. Why aren’t you more like her?”
Kim: “Shego, tell you what: I won’t stop you from making jokes, you don’t tease me about my Great-Aunt Mim.”
Shego: “Deal.”
“Don't worry KP,” Ron Stoppable offered. “The century was young, I'm sure somebody did worse.”
“Ron!” She snapped, glareing at her partner.
“What's the matter KP?” Asked Bonnie Rockwaller. “Not the history lesson you were expecting?”
Kim: “Wait a minute, this was supposed to be a mission. Why are we seeing a recap of a school trip?”
Ron: -as Bonnie- “I don’t see why you can’t teach us history, without always harping about the past.”
Kim: “Ron… never mind, I don’t want to know why you can sound so much like Bonnie.”
“I need proof!” Kim demanded.
“It's right here in this display,” Barkin pointed out. “Here's a picture, taken by a young photographer named Wayne Load. As you can plainly see, Mimsie is holding the case the device was stored in. The schematics are clearly visable.”
“Wait a minute, the case is empty. If she stole something, where is it?”
“Great grandpappy's report says that witnesses reported a man with her. Obviously she passed it on to him. It was never recovered and Mim Possible was never brought to trail for lack of evidence. She left town and was never heard from again,” he paused and continued with a dismissive tone. “Officer Stoppable thought the device was still on the fairgrounds, but of course he never found it dispite searching for weeks.”
Shego: “If he was one of the buffoon’s ancestors, I’m not surprised.”
Ron: “HEY!”
Kim: “Shego! If we’re going to get through this, you need to stop insulting the buffoon! Er, I mean, Ron.”
“Gee, too bad Kim, I feel so sorry for you,” Bonnie said, strikeing an arrogant pose. “Maybe you should move away. You know, go someplace where no one knows the shame of the Possible family?”
Ron: -singing- “Sometimes you want to go, where everyone knows… your shame!”
Shego: “Why do you even KNOW the theme to ‘Cheers’?”
Ron: “Hey, I’ve got cable.”
Kim Possible clentched her fists, but instead of hitting her rival, she turned back to the display, gazeing at the “cabinet photo” of Mim Possible and John Stoppable who were posed in front of a painted backdrop of the fair.
“What really happend that night?” She whispered.
Middleton High School, Next Day:
“But that was a hundred years ago, Kim,” Wade Load was saying from her locker-mounted computer. “what diffrence does it make?”
Shego: -as Kim- “If we knew what really happened, we could find out where the missing letters in this story went.”
Kim: “Shego, let’s just skip all the spelling comments, ok?”
Ron: “Some of these words were misspelled?”
“Stealing runs in her family.” Bonnie told her two friends as they walked by. “I alway knew that all her best cheerleading moves were stolen, from me.”
“OK, I get it.” Wade sighed. “I'll look through my great-great granduncles pictures and talk to him tonight.”
“Cool!” Cried Ron. “Wade's going to hold a seance!”
“Nothing so radical, Ron. He's still alive.”
Ron: “He’s alive! ALIVE!”
“What are the chances of that?” Kim asked of no one.
“He was only ten when the fair opened. He was an eye witness to the crime.”
“Thanks Wade, that'll be a big help,”
“I have something else that might cheer you up, Kim. We got a hit on the site, some scientists at a secret lab want your help. I'll patch them through.”
“If you please.”
Shego: “Hey, Princess… I thought you always said ‘Please and Thank You’.”
Ron: “She’s right, Kim. That doesn’t sound like you.”
Kim: “Guys! It’s just a story! You should really just relax, and accept that the author apparently got a few things wrong!”
“The item was our highest priority project,” the bearded scientist began when they appiered on the monitor.
Shego: -grumbles- “Yeah… one thing the author got wrong was not running this through a spell check.”
“The fate of the world rests on it's safe return,” added the bald scientist.
“So what is it?” Kim asked.
“Um, we can't tell you.”
“Come on, I can keep a secret,” Ron told the.
Shego: “Wow, he’s even keeping who he told a secret!”
“Since when?” Kim muttered.
“OK, she can keep a secret,” he admitted.
“No!” Insisted the bald man. “In the wrong hands, this can create a black hole the size of NEVADA!”
Ron: “Hey, wait a minute! I remember this mission… it wasn’t anywhere near the time of the museum trip!”
Shego: “Gosh, the author made a mistake. What are the odds of that?”
“The Pan Dimentional Vortex Inducer,” Team Possible said.
“How did you know?”
Shego: -peeks ahead- “Time to play Word Association!”
“Last year,” Kim said.
“Professor Dementor,” Ron told them.
“Las Vegas.”
“Almost went black hole.”
“Saved the world,” they concluded.
“Well, it's been stolen again.”
“Oh man! A re-run!”
“Too much TV Ron. Can you give me a view of the crime scene, please?” The camera panned around the room, revieling a very familior style of damage and claw marks on the safe. “Wait, zoom in there.”
Shego: -smirks and files her glove claws- “Guess who?”
“Ooo, Shego!” Rufus growled from Ron's shoulder.
“Could she be any more obvilous?” Kim sighed.
Shego: “Hey! You better have meant obvious and not oblivious, pumpkin!”
Ron: “What are you going to do if she DID mean oblivious?”
Shego: “You ever hear of the band, SMASHING Pumpkins?”
“Maybe too obvious,” Ron pondered. “KP! It's a trap! Unless Drakken wants us to think it's a trap, so if we fall for it, he'll be the one who's trapped!”
“Wade, you have an IQ of 180, does that make sence to you?”
Ron: “Hey, Wade *DID* conduct a séance!”
“Sorry Kim,” Wade shrugged. “You're on your own! But I do have a report of a UFO landing near the Conners building in Upperton and I'm reading a faint energy signature there that is a lot like the Pan dimentional Vortex Inducer. That may be where Shego took it.”
“Then we're there. Let's go Ron, we can catch the bus this time.”
Conners Building, Upperton:
Dr Drakken was makeing adjustments to his laser cannon and a cable TV box, polishing the PDVI before fitting it into the cannon. He then happily set the device to his satisfaction, talking to Shego.
Shego: “And, as usual, I wasn’t listening.”
Kim: “Why do you even work for that man, if he bores you so much.”
Shego: “For the money, for the glory, and for the fun. -pause- Mostly for the money.”
“This will be my greatest invention yet! With the Pan Dimentional Vortex Inducer and the propper modifications, I will be able to open up a whole world of possibilitys! Isn't that wonderful, shego?”
Shego: “SHEGO! With a capital S!”
“Yeah, I'm so excited I can't stand it,” she replied, looking through the cable guide. “Oh look, Evil Eye For The Bad Guy is on tonight!”
“Can't you show a little supportive enthusiasm?”
“Woo hoo. Extra ‘hoo’. OK, tell me why I had to boost this Pan-Can thing again and what it has to do with us finnaly getting cable?”
Ron: “Everyon do the Pan-Can!”
Kim and Shego: “No!”
“Quite simple, really,” Dr D began. “The Vortex Inducer creates holes in the dimentional space and when combined with a laser cannon, can be used to project objects through the dimentions to reappier where ever the operator wants. But I have gone a giant step forward! By connecting the PDVI to a simple cable box, I can project us into any scene that is shown on TV!”
Ron: “Oooh, oooh, can he project us into Cheese-Watch? I love that show!”
Rufus: -poking his head up- “Cheese!”
“So what? Are you planning to join Goldfinger in his raid on Fort Knox?”
Shego: “You get the gold bars, I’ll get Pussy Galore.”
Kim: “Why would you want a Bond girl?”
Shego: “Oh, no reason… -whistles-”
“Hmmm, well that idea does have possibilitys, but I have another plan. I intend to tune into The Historical Network and enter old newsreels and photographs. We can then steal treasures and devices from the past 150 years! Ha ha ha! Look!” He cried, turning on the TV. “They are showing a special on the Tri-City World's Fair! I had an ancesstor who had stolen a great device displayed at the fair! wouldn't it be a treat to go back and see him in action?”
All: “NO!”
As Drakken mad some adjustments to his time machine, shego thought she heard a noise from the doorway.
Ron: “Pixie Girls! Would you like to buy some cookies?”
“Drakken with a time machine?” Ron hissed. “We can't let that happen.”
“We're not, Ron. Time to rock and roll! Give it up and no one gets hurt!” Kim yelled,
Shego: “You yelled all that? Talk about giving away the element of surprise.”
chargeing into the room and braceing herself for the anticipated counter-attack by Shego.
“Agh! Kim Possible and … Don Stoppable?”
Shego: “Don Stoppable de la Naco, and his squire Ru-Cho.”
Ron: “I don’t get it.”
“Close, dude,” Ron sighed, letting it go this time.
“Well who ever you are you're anoying! SHEGO!”
The fight went like everyone expected; the four paired off as usual, Shego and Kim going at it while Ron went for Drakken,
Shego: “Why, Kimmy, I never know you cared… pow-chicka-pow-chicka-wow!” (Porn music)
Kim: -blushing- “Shego! The author obviously means we’re fighting.”
attempting to get to his machine and wreck it before it's activated. Ron was surprised that Dr Drakken fought better than he normaly did, but a “Steel Toe Stomp” put the villian on the defencive.
Shego, on the other hand was rather puzzled by the tactics of her opponant. Kim was niether attacking NOR defending, but instead was simply avoiding Shego's kicks, punches and plasma blasts. Shego couldn't figure out what she was up to, but thought it
Shego: “…was just plain silly. Taking fighting lessons from Ron now. Kim?”
Ron: “Hey, sometimes the best offense is a good duck.”
was to distract her from a knock-out blow. Back flipping out of reach, Kim lept on an office chair and rode it towards the older woman. Shego stepped aside and fired up her right hand, ready to retaliate. Kim however, lept off the chair to let it continue toward the black-haired woman while the redhead sommersaulted over to the time machine! KP Grabbed the activateing lever and pulled it. The TV glowed unnaturaly and the laser shot at the screen. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched as Kim returned their stunned expressions with one that was familior in the crime world. It said: “so long, suckers!”
Kim: “How can it be familiar? I don’t even HAVE a ‘so long suckers’ expression!”
Shego: “Yeah, judging by the ‘KP Slash’ board on the In-terror-net, your ‘I’m here to save the day’ expression is most well known.”
Kim: “There’s a KP Slash board?”
Shego: “Well, the full name is KP: Slash, Stab, Shoot, Drown, or Burn?”
Ron: “Which gets your vote?”
Shego: -ignites her hands momentarily- “Guess.”
She seemed to fade and melt, getting “sucked” into the cannon. With a final bright blast, Kim Possible was projected into the TV which then clicked off!
Ron: “TV really DOES rot your brain… and body… and clothes.”
“KIM!” Ron screamed. He grabbed the villian by the collar. “What did you do to her? Bring her back!”
He was pulled away by Shego, who raised a flaming fist in warning.
“Just watch yourself, sidekick. Kimmie's not here to protect you.”
Kim: “Ron could take you easily, Shego!”
Shego: “Since when?”
Ron: “Yah, when?”
“Thank you, Shego,” Dr D said, brushing off his lab coat. “Now that Kim Possible is URK!”
“To quote Stoppable,” The green woman snarled, her hands full of his collar. “What did you do to her?”
Kim: “Aw, Shego… I didn’t know you cared.”
Shego: “Darn right I care… if anyone is going to get rid of you, it’s going to be ME!”
“Now Shego … (gasp!) She must be in the past! The TV was showing the 1903 World's Fair when they attacked! What's the big deal?”
“Bring her back!” Ron yelled, but shego turned a warning look at him.
“Look Dr D,” shego began, trying to remain calm. “I may not know about all that scientific junk like you, but I've seen enough science fiction movies to know that messing around in the past is bad news! And I don't like the idea of Kimmie running around back then, it could be dangerous. For ALL of us,” she added.
Kim: “You watch Sci-Fi movies?”
Shego: “Er… no! The author is lying! It’s complete slander!”
“Nonsence,” The blue man said dismissivly when he was released. “What could go wrong? Look around; everthing is just like it was before. My office, the laser cannon, my portable lab, nothing is diffrent! Except now we don't have Kim Possible to bother us any more!” He added with a chuckle.
Ron Stoppable was about to leap onto the mad scientist and beat him to a pulp when the door opened and a modestly-dressed blond wearing glasses came in.
“Mr. Lipski,” She said, holding out a stack of paper. “I need your signature on these purchase orders.”
Ron: -singing- “One of these things, isn’t like the others… One of these things, isn’t the same.”
Stunned, Drakken signed the documents. The secretary pointed out a paragraph to be initialed and then left her boss with a report on his ice cream business.
Shego and Ron looked through the door and exchanged bewildered looks. Outside where there was once a half-abandoned office building was now a bustling place of business!
Shego: -sees the door to the theatre opening again- “Come on! Time to abandon theatre!”