At the end of the movie, as Thelma and Louise drove off the cliff hand-in-hand, Ron and Kim were sniffling and handing a box of Kleenex back and forth between them. Shego and Josh just looked at each other, squeezed their respective partners, and smiled.
Then, close to 2 a.m., as they were making final bathroom-calls prior to bed, the doorbell rang. Not a second after that, someone was banging on the door, hard. It became a continuous cacophony, the bell and the banging, until Ron finally opened the door.
“Bonnie? Wh-”, he began.
But without fanfare, Bonnie burst into the room yelling, “KIM! KIM get your ass out here!”
Having got that out of the way, she looked about her, noticing Shego, putting the disk away, Josh, on his way to the kitchen with the popcorn bowl, an taking a closer look at Ron, still moist around the eyes from the movie's ending, and gathering glasses to take to the sink.
“Is she here? Where is she?”, the brunette cheerleader demanded to know. “And what… Josh? Ok, look, I don't even want to know. Just get me Kim!”
Shego answered, becoming territorial, dangerous; “She's in the bathroom. May I help you?” She turned to squarely face the intruder, eyes narrowing, her stance showing she was ready for action.
Bonnie looked at her, then back at the two boys. Before she could speak, Kim stepped out of the bathroom and said, “Uh, what's all the racket out here?”
“Kim! We need to talk! NOW!”, Bonnie's eyes latched onto the tired red-head. She turned to go back outside, and Shego began to take steps to follow her. As she passed Ron, he grabbed her shoulder to spin her around.
“Shego! No… It's okay. Let her go.”
Shego spared only a glance – an icy glance – at Ron, and then looked at Kim, who was frowning resignedly, and walking up to the front door.
“It's okay, Shego”, Kim said, “nothing to do with you. Well, not personally, anyway. I left her a voice-mail that I was lesbian. I thought… it would be best to just get it out and over with, y'know? I'll see what she wants.”
Shego let her pass reluctantly.
Outside, Bonnie was pacing back and forth on the porch like a panther. She stopped when Kim appeared, and once the door closed behind her, grabbed Kim's shirt collar and dragged her out away from the apartment.
“What the hell do you mean, ‘I'm a lesbian, pass it on’. Who else have you told? Who else knows?”, Bonnie asked in quick-fire order.
“Back off, Bonnie. I meant what I said”, Kim replied, becoming incensed.
“Who else knows?”, Bonnie asked again.
“I don't see how that's any of -”, Kim started, but Bonnie cut her off.
“ - my business. Oh, spare me. Next you'll be telling me how ‘you don't have anything to be ashamed of', how you're ‘proud to be gay', and, to top it all off, how you ‘don't care what anybody thinks’. I've heard it all before. Now you tell me, who else have you told?”
That startled Kim, because those were exactly the things she was thinking. In fact, it startled her enough to answer the question.
“Uh, just my Mom, the guys in there… and you. Why?”
“Oh, fuck… fuck! You told BOYS?”, she began pacing on the porch again, hands behind her back, as if trying to come up with a plan. Apparently, it wasn't working. “You told BOYS? You IDIOT! Now there'll be NO STOPPING it! They'll tell all -”
“Uh, Bonnie, I think it's safe with those particular ‘boys’. We… we're all friends…”, Kim said, not knowing whether she should let the other girl know about Josh and Ron's relationship. “In fact, I know it is. Why do you care, anyway?”
Bonnie was smoldering, and gave her a look that could melt steel: “You listen to me, Kim Possible. You DO NOT want to come out in high school! You hear me! You DO NOT want to come out in high school! Big Mistake, Kim. Mondo Huge Mistake. You WILL regret it!”
Kim, not quite understanding, fell back on an easy defense, “I don't care what any -”
“OH GAWD! What did I tell you? I said you'd say that, and there ya go, right on cue. GAWD Kim, I thought you were smarter than this…”, Bonnie was nearly screaming, and yet it seemed as though she almost pitied Kim.
Kim was shaken by the tone in her voice, What's going on here? What does she want?
“Uh… Bonnie… what did you come here to tell me?”, she asked.
Bonnie had calmed down a bit by now, she was no longer panting, but she hadn't resumed her normal “calculating bitch” expression either. Instead, she regarded Kim as a laboratory technician might regard a white mouse.
“Kim… What do our parents tell us high school is not?”, she asked.
Kim thought. “Uhm, a fashion-show?”
“Good. What else? What about teachers… What do teachers say high school is not?”, Bonnie went on.
“A popularity-contest”, Kim answered.
“Excellent, Kim. Maybe we can get somewhere. Now, what, Kim, would you say high school is, for the most part, and leave the ‘learning to be a better citizen’ crap out. I'm not a college recruiter.”
“Well…”, Kim thought about it for several moments. “Well, a popularity-contest and a fashion show, mostly.”
“Well, I'm glad to see that even straight-A people can have some sense! And where, on the ‘popularity’ scale do youfit, Kim?”
Somewhat abashedly, Kim admitted, “Well… I'm pretty popular, I -”
“THE TOP, you idiot! You're at THE TOP of the popularity poll! Now, what's going to happen when you come out, Kim?”
Kim was speechless. Was it that she didn't know, or that she didn't want to think about it?
“I see the lights beginning to come on. You're getting it, now, aren't you… the bottom. That's where you'll be: the bottom of the pile. And it's not just because you're a Lesbian – it's because you WEREN'T, and then you WERE. It's all about distance. Anyway, that what you want, Miss I-don't-care-what-anyone-thinks?”
Kim remained speechless. Did she care, after all? WAS she ashamed of her feelings for another girl… woman? And why did Bonnie, of all people…
“Bonnie… I… I thought you hated me…”, Kim said softly, beginning to wonder if she'd been getting everything wrong all her life.
“I do. Know why?”, Bonnie said cuttingly.
“Why?”
“Because you're one-lousy-fucking-step more popular than me. One. Oh, I can beat you in the fashion department, easy, but I just canNOT move up that final step, and out-popular you. It pisses me off! THAT is why I hate you! And you… you're not even TRYING! You're not even AWARE!”
Kim was so confused, she could barely think. “But… but then why… if that were true, you'd want me to come out, wouldn't you? You'd be overjoyed to spread the news, wouldn't you? That's what I thought…”
“Kim”, Bonnie sighed and sat on the fender of a parked car, “I don't hate anyone enough to see them put through that.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “I have a sister. Sharon. She's a junior at Rice now. She was a lot like you. Straight-A's. Captain of the cheer leading squad, even, just like you. Miss Popularity. She came out her senior year, just like you. Said all the things you've just said.”
Bonnie turned away from the gaping Kim, hiding her face.
“High school, Kim, is like this giant, white-hot… uh…”, she faltered.
“crucible',Kim offered.
“Yeah, crucible. I don't know if that's how it's supposed to be, or how someone wanted it to be, but that's what it is. It's like they throw you in to see if you'll excel at the rat-race, or at least conform, or at least not rock the boat, or drop-out, or just plain crack up. The hardest time of our lives, when we're all trying to figure out who we are, and they throw us in the… crucible. I hate it. And I hate them for doing it to us. It's not fair.”
Bonnie sniffled. Kim couldn't believe the other girl was opening up like this. So the drama, and not in a good way.
Bonnie continued, “Anyway, after she came out, she cracked. Big time. She lost it all. She got stressed about her Popularity, so her grades slipped, she got stressed about that, and lost her girlfriend, big downhill slide, Kim. And she took it out on me. She took it out on her little sister, me. She was going to be an ‘astrophysicist’. You know what an ‘astrophysicist’ does, Kim?”
“No…”
“Me neither, but it sounds important, and she used to dream of being one. She was so excited about it… had her college all lined up at Rice and everything. Ivy-league. After she graduated, she went to State, not Rice. Talk about distance… It took her over a year to get herself back together.”
Bonnie took a few deep breaths to clear her head, get back on track.
“Look, Kim. It's one year. It's your Senior year, your last year of high school. I'll tell you what Sharon told me: after you're out, whether you go to college or not, no one is going to give a SHIT about what you did in high school. No one will care if you were captain of the cheerleaders. If you were Miss Popularity. If you were the misfit Lesbian with the Goth Girlfriend. They just won't care. No one will ask about it, ever. But while you're here, and while you have your position, you keep it, Kim! Play their game. Do what they expect. For one more year.”
Bonnie seemed to have to run out of things to say.
“Anyway, don't ask me to spread the word about you. If it were Monique, or even Tara… well, they could probably get away with it. But you can't. It's not fair but that's not my fault. Anyway, I won't do it. I guess that's all I came to say…” She turned back toward the sidewalk, going in the direction of her car.
Still not recovered, Kim managed to say something she never thought she would, “Thank you, Bonnie.” She meant it, too.
Ron was up first, as usual – it was 7:30 am. Ah, the best thing about being an early-bird: having the bathroom all to yourself. And afterward, as usual again, he began cooking. Eggs Benedict, for a centerpiece, surrounded by the usual breakfast fare of sausage (Portugeuse), French toast (sour-dough), and bacon (Canadian). Anticipating Shego's needs (and she was finally beginning to fill out), he made double everything.
The smell of Hollandaise Sauce woke up Josh, next, who also had the bathroom to himself the entire time he was in there. Afterwards, he and Ron exchanged a good-morning kiss, then Josh went about clearing off his paperwork from the table, making mental notes as he did so of areas that could still use definition or augmentation.
Shego and Kim, in the bedroom, awoke at the same time, probably due to all the clanking and banging going on in the kitchen. Neither being morning-people, they let each other have the bathroom to themselves first, then shared it for the rest of their morning grooming. They went to the kitchen in bathrobes, with their hair still wet.
As Shego entered, she winced at the simultaneous greeting from the boys: “Morning, Sunshine!”. She and Kim shared the disdain of night-owls for morning-people, and only growled in response while taking their places at the table. Josh brought coffee, Ron brought food.
As Shego downed her cup, she noticed something; Ron had set the peanut-butter out next to her, butter-knife already stuck into it. It was such a small thing, but it actually brought a lump into her throat, and her eyes moistened. She had just realized, this is how it's going to be. Me, Kim, Ron, Josh. This is how it's SUPPOSED to be… I've got a lot to learn, but it can't be wrong when it feels this right. She kept staring at both boys when they weren't looking.
“So,” Shego said tiredly, “what's on the agenda for today? More non-stop surprises, sun-up to sun-down?” It was a rhetorical question.
So it shouldn't have been surprising when no one answered. She finished spreading her peanut-butter and looked up. Apparently, she had been the only one interested in eating. Ron and Josh were looking at each other hungrily, and Kim… Kim was looking at her with a gleam in her clear green eyes. A gleam that made Shego shiver with anticipation. Perhaps breakfast could wait.
Kim got up to go back to the bedroom, Shego following in the fragrant wake of her still-wet hair. Ron and Josh took all of five steps from the kitchen(ette) into the living-room.
Kim/Shego/Josh: Wait, don't take that off! I want to do that…
Ron/Shego: Sit down…
Josh/Shego: Wait… wait… Wait! Heh, geez, I'm not goin’ anywhere!
Kim/Shego: Not so hard… More lip, less tongue. And NO TEETH!
Ron/Josh: I dunno… I thought you had it…
Kim: Shego… Shego… ShEGO… SHE… SH!… S!
Josh: Rah-un! Rah-un! Rah! …!
Shego/Josh: Not yet. Let's just stay like this awhile…
Shego/Ron: What… what're you… Kim? (Josh?) KIM! (JOSH!) KI! (JO!) AH!
Kim/Ron: Roll (oof) over!
Kim/Shego: Left. MY left. Ok, up. More. Ah! Mmmmmm…
Ron/Josh/Kim/Shego: Did you hear that? Do you think they're…
Shego: Kimmmmmieeee… KiiiiIIIIiiiiIIIIiiiimmmmiiiiEEEE… KiiiiiIIIIIiiiimmMMMmiiIII…
Shego/Josh: Ready for the second show, Pumpkin (Ace)?
Kim/Ron: Wow. You really get into that, don't you… kinky!
Shego: Pumpkin… uh, okay now, Pump… Kim?… KIM! Oh!
Ron: Josh? Slow down Josh… Josh… JoSH JOSH! J-
Ron/Shego: Ow! What was that for?
Shego/Kim: Because pant I can't pant BREATHE! pant pant
Kim/Ron/Josh/Shego: I love you, sweet-heart (Skeeter) (Ace) (Pumpkin).
2 p.m.
Shego knocked on the wall in the hallway, before stepping out into the kitchen/living-room area.
“Guys? Are you decent?”, she called.
She could hear giggling on the couch in response to the question, and then the rustle of clothing going on in a hurry. “Yeah. ‘S ok. C'mon in, Shego”, she heard Josh say.
Shego stepped into view, leading Kim by the hand behind her. Both girls were back into their bathrobes, their hair completely disheveled. Ron and Josh were in jeans and nothing else, apparently not even underwear, judging from the boxers on the recliner and tightie-whitie's on the floor. The four of them stared at each other for a moment, the novelty of the situation apparent to all.
Each of them struggled to find something pithy to say, but nothing came. Finally, Ron said, “Okaaaay. Awkward moment…”, he glanced at the table, “… and cold food.”
Josh took command, “Right. Ron, start heating things up. I'll clean things up in here. Girls, you get the bathroom first.”
“That's okay, Josh”, Kim said, “you guys can have the bathroom first. You don't have to be chivalrous every time.”
Ron chuckled, and they all looked at him expectantly. “Maybe not every time, KP, but for now – please - allow us fags to be gracious to you dykes.” He started giggling again.
It was contagious.