“’The Yin-Yang Effect’? Please tell me that’s a joke. It sounds like a bad Ashton Kutcher movie,” Shego drawled, with a hand on her hip. Two months of isolating himself and that’s the best he could come up with?
“Don’t mock it yet, Shego, you don’t even know what it’s about!” Drakken yelled in his raspy voice, stroking his newest invention (finally some technology he didn’t have Shego steal) like a prize-winning Chihuahua.
“Exactly, I don’t know what it’s about because you keep beating around the bush. Just spill!” Shego was growing impatient. If he didn’t just explain this machine clearly, she had better things she could attend to. Like filing her nails…or tanning. Even though the tanning never did her good. More like sun-bathing.
“Fine! This machine will, like I said, split Kim into two distinct halves…or personalities, I should say. One embodying all of her good qualities—innocence, prudence, loyalty, rainbows and dancing Cuddle Buddies, yadda yadda yadda—and the half we are interested in…her darker half.”
“…This sounds so incredibly corny.”
“Hey, YOU gave me the idea! Besides, you haven’t allowed me to finiiiish,” Drakken whimpered.
“I’m waiting,” said Shego, rolling her eyes.
“Where was I? Oh yes…the darker half. This one will personify everything that Kim Possible could be, if only she had turned out a little differently, a little more like—“
“—Me?” Finished Shego with a smirk.
“Exactly. She will be pure treachery, deceit, wrath, cunning, she will be everything I need in an accomplice!” Drakken finished with a hysterical smile.
“…not me?” Shego frowned.
“Eh? No, of course that’s not what I mean, Shego. I mean to say that she is what I need in another accomplice. With you and a pure evil Kim Possible on my side, I will be absolutely unstoppable!”
Shego seriously doubted Kim’s capacity to be evil, be she didn’t mention this. The idea was too compelling. An evil Kimmie? They could have fun together…
“So, what do you think, Shego?” Drakken said, with a resemblance to a puppy looking for praise.
“Generally…I like it.”
Drakken cheered.
“BUT--” the cheering ended abruptly, “why split her and make two Kim’s? Then we have a Kimmie of pure good to worry about. Will we just keep her prisoner? If you want an evil Kim, why not just work the same mojo you worked on the buffoon that one time?”
Drakken smiled an evil smile to match all his others. “This, Shego…is where the true genius of my plan comes into play…We will not keep the good Kim prisoner…we will give her back to her family.”
Shego blinked and stared.
Drakken could see her confusion. Still smiling, he spoke softly, “Upon first splitting the Kim’s, neither will notice the change. They still have their own minds and the same memories. So when we return Good-Kim to Middleton, she will sense change, but nothing too alarming. That gives us time to work with the interesting half.”
Sensible enough, Shego figured. “But it will only take her stupid team a little while to learn that Kimmie’s—that Possible has been tampered with.”
“True. And we will never tell them why or how. Of course, they will learn of the separation eventually, or else Kim will figure it out, but by then, I will hopefully have been able to build a machine that will make the separation permanent.”
“The Goody-goody will fight you, Dr. D.”
“I am 95 percent certain that she won’t. Being the embodiment of everything good that Possible is, I am guessing she would never fight, at the risk of harming someone, which is not good,” Drakken said with a smile.
“You’re guessing.”
“Yes, I told you that.”
“No, I mean you are guessing about everything. Assuming this machine even works, you are guessing that they won’t realize what happened, you are guessing you’ll have a machine to make the separation permanent, you are guessing that the Good Kim is TOO good to fight…This plan has so many flaws, I don’t even know how to go on,”
“Yes, I considered that. But here is one thing I am sure of—both halves need to live.”
“I don’t follow.”
“For one half to survive, the other needs to as well.”
“Still not seeing where you are going with this, Drakken.”
“If one Kim dies, the other does as well…and thus marks the end of Kim Possible.”
And suddenly Shego did understand. “You’re…going to threaten them. Give them one Kimmie, and threaten that if they interfere with yours, you will kill that one…and then no more Kim at all.”
Drakken only smiled.
“I’m not killing anyone,” Shego stated firmly.
“I know, and I am not asking you to. Someone else will take care of it…assuming it even gets that far.”
Shego grinned. “The family would never take the chance. No, they will take what they can get.” Impressive. Far more impressive than she would have guessed. “I have to say, Dr. D., this is probably the best plan you have ever come up with,” Drakken beamed at the compliment, “Granted, that’s not saying much, but…well, you might have something that could actually WORK this time.” This idea really does have merit, Shego though impishly, The possibilities! A Kim she could get along with!
That’s all she wanted.
Well, that and maybe a boss she could be proud of. Which she might, she just might, be on her way to getting.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like Ron. Rather, she loved the kid, more than most living things on this planet.
But, god, this dating thing was becoming completely unbearable! I mean for one, he acted like being her boyfriend entitled him to all her time. When they were out, he gave her pats on the back over kisses on the cheek (which they finally shared, by the way). Worst of all, on missions, he acted as if she, Kim Possible, was the one that needed protecting!
Kim sighed. The missions. It seemed like people were calling in for her help left and right lately, about villains of ALL kinds. Except for the ones that matter, Kim thought, and it sent a chill up her spine. Two months had passed since Kim had voiced her suspicion about Drakken and Shego to Ron, and still no sign of them. Where could they possibly be? What could they be doing? A period of silence this long could only mean that they were concocting the largest plot of their lifetime!
Or maybe you shut them up for good, said a voice in Kim’s head.
Yeah, right. There isn’t a thing in the world that could shut Shego or Drakken up!
Drakken seemed pretty distraught last time you left…
No big, I beat him all the time.
That time was different…
Hardly.
Why don’t you just admit that you miss them?
Are you JOKING? I hate them!
And you miss them. No one fights you like Shego can.
I don’t care about fighting!
Maybe that’s why you’re getting sloppy.
I am NOT sloppy!
And so you do care.
I—UGH! We are NOT having this conversation!
We? You are the crazy person talking to yourself.
“Ugh, whatever!” Kim finally said loudly. She realized the Tweebs just came in the room and were laughing at her. “UGH!” Kim got up and stormed out of the house. She needed to be comforted by her boyfriend. And then….no matter how hard it was, she needed to break up with him.
“Once more, Shego, what is the plan?” Drakken prodded.
“We have gone through this, like, twelve times. I am not an imbecile.” Shego said coarsely. She really was not liking the plan. At all.
“Of course you aren’t, Shego. I just…I need to be sure that this will go perfectly.”
Shego sighed. “Fine…I break us into that science museum, to lure Kim Possible into thinking we are stealing something. Then…” Shego paused.
“Then…? Come on, Shego, it’s for the best…”
“Then…” God, this almost hurt just saying it… “Then I ignore Kimmie, and I fight…the buffoon.” Shego exhaled. She hadn’t fought Kim in over two months! It’s not right that she’d have to ignore Kim’s smug face from only a few feet away!
“There, there, Shego, it’s be alright, you’ll see. I know how you like to pound on Possible, but, why is it I need you to fight the sidekick?”
She likes to “pound on Possible”? Shego never thought of it that way. She just likes to fight Kim…Kim keeps her on her toes, so to speak. Sure, the little brat foils her quite often, and Shego does get that sense of satisfaction when she wins their fights, but it’s not like Shego got some sort of sadistic fascination out of “pounding on Possible.” That’s…that’s just not how it was.
“Shego?”
“Huh? What?” Shego snapped out of her thoughts. “Oh… I, uh… I need to fight the buffoon so that you don’t accidentally hit me with the ray gun?”
“And?”
“And you need me to keep him out of the way so you can get the evil Kim subdued before he notices her and I don’t see why you just don’t give me the gun. I have better aim, and it’s much less suspicious for ME to be fighting Kim. God, I never fight Stoppable!” Shego saying his name surprised even herself.
“You don’t know how to use the gun, Shego! There are certain calculations that must be made and the ray must target a specific pressure point on the neck. I’ve told you, nothing can go wrong this time.”
“Whatever.”
“Don’t worry, once we have a Dark Kim in our clutches, you can have all the fun you want.”
Oh…you have no idea. Shego though with a smirk. So many ways to have fun with a bad Kimmie…Hm, that’s sounds sort of kinky. I wonder if Princess is too… Shego’s eyes widened.
“What’s wrong, Shego?” Drakken asked, naively.
“N-nothing!” Shego said in a rather uncharacteristically chipper tone. “I’m, uh, gonna take a shower.” No sexual thoughts about arch-enemies in there with me.
“But the plaaa-aan!” Drakken whined.
“Tonight,” Shego said, her eyes wicked. And not due to sexual thoughts about what the night and Kim had to bring.
Unfortunately, as Shego strode to the shower, she found that she couldn’t prevent herself from thinking of all the possible things she might name her new Bad-Kimmie.
A/N: And this is where I beg for reviews. No, I am not above it. D As a new author on I am pretty much expected to beg for reviews anyways.
By the way, I know this was an EXTREMELY quick update, but don’t expect this often. I just really wanna get the ball rollin’.