The peaceful calm of the empty apartment was broken by a sudden click as the lock was turned back and the heavy door swung open.
“And here we are,” Shego spoke quietly, following her partner in without a second thought, “Home.”
The redhead stopped, halfway through sliding Shego’s bag off her back. “Home?” She turned a questioning eye on Shego, searching.
Shego hesitated before replying, aware that she’d just taken a very significant step – maybe an unwelcome one. “Yeah,” she looked away nervously, “With your permission, of course – it’s your home first after all.” She glanced around at the collection of furniture, the dark red walls, the average-sized flat screen TV, the nondescript beige carpeting… “It’s a lot more convenient than Hudson, cheaper than the Holiday Inn, and you’ve got furniture.” She finally turned back to face Kim, an oddly hopeful look in her eyes, “So – what do you say? Care for a roommate?”
Kim studied the older woman for a moment or so, taking in the nervous twitch in her hands, the quiet, hopeful light in the dark forest eyes, the furrowed brow of worry…and considered Shego’s words carefully.
A woman of infinite confidence and supreme power, Shego was probably unfamiliar with asking for things, being more likely to take and wrench from the grasps of others those things that she dearly desired. But here she was, remembering herself with the speed of someone who knew that their life was changing – making an effort to treat at least this one person as something other than just a mark with something she wanted. It was a clear blow to her pride to ask this of Kim, but the younger woman saw no uncertainty in those eyes, no regret in that intense stare.
Reaching out, Kim wrapped one arm around Shego’s waist, pulling her in tightly to her side. “My home,” she said clearly and decisively, “Our home.” She squeezed her partner’s waist gently. “Come on – you didn’t get the tour the last time you were here, so let me show you around.” She pulled away, her arm sliding from her partner’s hip to take her by the hand, tangling their fingers together as she led her into the apartment. She slipped her shoes off and finally let the black leather backpack slide from her shoulder to the floor with a soft thump.
“Actually,” Shego instead pulled Kim to a stop, “I think I’d rather just take a day to absorb everything that’s happened to us.” She glanced around the main room once more. “Has it really only been a day since I broke into this place?”
Kim sighed wearily, a faint smile kissing her lips, “Yeah. Feels like years, doesn’t it?”
“A lifetime or four,” Shego agreed. “I’d think we’d need a couple weeks and some therapy, but we don’t really have that option do we?”
Kim considered her newfound status as a criminal – soon to be international. “I guess not,” she separated herself from the older woman and stepped behind the counter and into the kitchen. “Go ahead and relax – you want something to drink?”
“I think I’d like to have something strong and cold, but I get the feeling you’re not a terribly big drinker.” Shego smiled at Kim’s quick nod. “I’ll have some tea then – something Chinese if you’ve got it, please.”
“Sounds good,” Kim dug around in her cupboards, producing a teapot and some mugs. As she set the kettle on, she found herself speaking without knowing what she was going to say. “There’s only one bed though, unless you want the couch.”
Shego sat herself down on the red-covered couch, making a small, thoughtful noise. “Well, let me see – sleep alone in a big, dark room on a cold, empty couch or snuggle up beside the one and only Kim Possible? I don’t think I’ll have a problem.” She turned a wild smirk on her partner.
Kim’s shy blush and her embarrassed little smile could have brightened the dark side of the moon. “So,” she turned back to her tea preparations, piling up a plate of toast for good measure, remembering that neither of them had eaten since lunch the previous day and now her it was – she glanced over to one side – nine in the morning…Kim knew she could go another day or so without feeling it thanks to her unique body type, but she didn’t know about Shego. “Do you have any questions about your new home?” She bent down to pull a frying pan from another cupboard, deciding to go all out.
The intense burst of curiosity batted gently at Kim’s shield, calling her attention where the constant background hum had not. “No, not really – not right now,” Shego replied quietly, not looking at her hostess.
Kim looked up from the warming pan on the stove, “What?” Shego’s hesitation was surprising, if not downright astounding.
Shego looked up from her place across the room, “what, what?”
Kim heard the kettle click but made no move to respond. “You have a question.” She dropped the pretence of hiding that she knew, even if she didn’t know any details. “You want to figure something out.”
Shego snorted, “No I don’t,” tiny, imperceptible droplets of guilt and shame drifted over to Kim from her partner’s side of the room.
Kim stubbornly ignored the kettle, planting her hands on her hips defiantly, “Don’t argue with me, Shego. You can’t lie to me – I’m a telepath.”
Shego carelessly waved the younger woman’s concerns aside, “and I’m an empath – what’s your point?” She saw Kim’s unwavering glare and met it with her characteristic indifference for a tense few seconds before caving, “Fine. That box,” she swallowed, clearly nervous about having been caught snooping around Kim’s home. “That white box in your closet – what’s inside?”
Kim turned from impatient to confused in the blink of an eye – which then turned into a few more. “White box…?” She glanced quickly down the hall to the bedroom, understanding blossoming within her like a flower. “Oh – go ahead and bring it in here.” She turned her attention at last to the silent, ever-patient kettle, dropping the leaves into a teapot before pouring the water in.
“No, it’s okay,” Shego made no move to get up from the couch. “I don’t need to see it – you can just tell me about it.” She shifted uneasily in her seat. “I came back in after you left to meet Nerdlinger. I was trying to see if I could figure out how much you were clued in to your own feelings for me, and I just saw the box sitting on the shelf. I felt your emotions coming off it and got a little curious.” Shego paused before adding a last word in a very quiet voice. “Sorry…”
Kim smiled as she broke two eggs over the pan, “Don’t be,” she replied with a low, gentle chuckle, “It’s all yours anyway.”
Shego sat up, “What?”
It was Kim’s turn to be embarrassed. “Remember the first time Drakken chipped us?” Shego groaned and her head fell back below the back of the couch, disappearing from view. “Yeah,” Kim muttered, “Of course you remember. That was a dumb question,” she replied in a dry voice. “Well, after you ran Drakken off, the boys poked around a little while I went back to your room to change out of your clothes.” She flipped the eggs in the pan. “Well, while I was in there, I noticed some of your stuff sitting on the bed and I somehow got this feeling.” Her eyes took on a far-off look as she thought back to that day. “I knew you wouldn’t want anyone to see those things so I packed them up and we left before GJ came in to clean up after us.” Kim served the eggs up onto a plate and broke two more. “Ever since then, every time we’ve run you out of another hideout, I’ve tried to quickly search through your rooms to take anything personal and save it from the scrutiny of Global Justice.”
Shego laughed, “Yeah, as if you were a better choice than GJ to be snooping through my unmentionables.”
Kim let out a startled squeak before immediately turning defensive, panicking instantly. “I swear, I only looked a few times – just every time I added something new, and maybe a few times since I came to Montreal, but I know GJ would have set a dozen agents to dissect your stuff, and -.”
“Whoa,” Shego interrupted, her head rising up from the cushions. “Slow down there, Kimmie – I’m not angry.”
Kim, in the middle of flipping the eggs in the pan, promptly broke the yolks at Shego’s words. “Y-you’re not.”
“Surprised?” Shego raised one thin eyebrow, standing from the couch and coming over to lean on the other side of the counter from the kitchen – her feet still resting on the carpet of the main room. “Back when we thought we knew each other, maybe I would have been royally pissed at you – but now? Not so much,” She smirked confidently and ran a hand through her short red hair. “I think you’re going to have to do a lot worse to get on my bad side, Princess. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for good, warts and all.”
Kim blew out a relieved sigh, allowing a tiny smirk to show through her expression, just playing at the edges of her lips like a hesitating child. “You don’t have any warts, Shego.” She turned back to the stove, frowning unhappily at her broken yolks. “Your box is still sitting on the shelf,” she said finally after long moments of silence when Shego hadn’t moved or said a word – simply stood leaning on the counter and looking at her as though there was nothing she could be more interested in than her partner’s slowly reddening face.
“And it can stay there,” Shego waved one hand dismissively. “I can wait.”
“Get it for me, then?” Kim asked quietly, unsure how welcome it was. “I’ve seen some things in there that I’d like to know more about.”
Shego grinned without moving. “So, you want to dissect my stuff? Why does that sound so familiar?”
Kim served the broken eggs up onto another plate. “They wouldn’t ask first, Shego; say no and I will forget all about it.”
“No, that’s all right.” Shego pushed off the counter and started down the hall, “I’m actually curious about what you managed to save from those hounds.” She disappeared into Kim’s bedroom while the shorter redhead stood at the stove, buttering up one toast and spreading jam across the other three.
Shego emerged a few seconds later holding a flat, white clothing box. “Okay,” she took in the sight of Kim at the counter and a wicked smile curved her thin, black-painted lips. “Do I need to worry about my health if I try to eat this?”
Kim grabbed a nearby dishtowel and threw it at Shego with a mild growl. “I’ll have you know that my cooking’s improved since that cookie incident of yours.” Her anger was spoiled by the wide grin that was quickly spreading across her features. “Now, come on – open it up.” She brought two plates of food around the counter to the unfinished dining table. “I know you’ll be glad to have some of this stuff back.” She returned to the kitchen for the teapot and mugs.
Shego set the box down on the table and just stared at it. “I can’t believe you did this for someone who hated you. What were you thinking?” She turned her piercing stare on Kim as she took a place beside her at the small table, tea in hand.
Kim lifted up one of her pieces of toast but just stared over it at her partner. “I’m not quite sure, really.” She took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. “I guess I was thinking that you were a person just like me, regardless of your…dislike of me. I put myself in your position sometimes,” she stared at the now half-eaten toast. I’ve really got to get bigger loaves… “…Chased out of my home time after time so uncaring Global Justice agents could search through all my stuff. I wasn’t crazy enough to think that you’d rather have me rifling through your private things, but I knew I’d at least have the restraint that others might not have had.”
“That’s true.” Shego used the edge of her fork to cut a piece off her egg and raised it to her mouth. “It’s too bad about your eggs, though,” She smirked, nodding her chin to Kim’s plate before digging into her food with earnest.
Kim narrowed her eyes, “I blame you.” She smiled gently, chomping into her toast.
“That so?” Using her free hand, Shego pulled the box a little closer to her and started lifting the lid off. “And what did you manage to save from GJ’s dogs?”
“Probably not as much as you think?” Kim continued eating, “You might remember that a good number of Drakken’s lairs ended up blowing up, and I figured your stuff would have been gone with the destruction.” She looked over at Shego. “It’s mostly pictures and some personal-looking knickknacks…and a diary – I didn’t read it,” Kim added hastily. “I could have broken the lock, but I figured it was there for a reason and – Shego?”
The lid of the box fell to the table with a sharp clap.
Shego stared transfixed into the now-open box, her food all but forgotten. “My God…” She reached out slowly, hesitantly – as if she thought the contents would vanish as part of some cruel joke. “I can’t believe you have this.” She wrapped the fingers of her green gloved hand around a heavy, red leather-bound book and lifted it from the box with a gentleness one would sooner expect from a mother bird handling her eggs than from a fiery-tempered woman with Plasma-wreathed hands. Kim simply watched in stunned silence as Shego’s black-gloved hand came up to brush across the front cover of the book, trailing across the matte finished leather and the wide, black leather strap that held it closed with an unimpressive metal buckle and lock.
Shego stared at the closed and locked book, a tiny, fond smile coming to her face as if she were laying eyes on an old, long-lost friend. “Kimmie…do you have any idea what this is – what you’ve been keeping in your closet all these years?” She continued to cradle the book in her hands and turned to stare at Kim in awestruck wonder. “I can’t believe you kept this,” she whispered.
Kim felt curiosity gnawing at her, but she could also feel that the diary was something incredibly personal to Shego and if the pale-skinned villainess wanted to share it – so be it. Kim wasn’t going to take the answers she wanted. “You don’t have to tell me, Shego.”
She might as well have been speaking to the tea in her cup.
“This is the first diary I ever had,” Shego breathed, laying the thick book down on the table. “It’s the last one I ever had, too…” She seemed unable to take her eyes of this unexpected treasure that Kim had unwittingly been safeguarding for almost five years. “After I lost it, I just didn’t see any point in getting another one.”
Kim reached out with one hand to squeeze Shego’s shoulder gently and was about to pull away when Shego’s hand covered hers, returning the gesture. She looked over to see her partner staring at her with an intense look in her eyes. “What?”
There was something else in those eyes that surprised Kim – tears, “Thank you.” Shego carefully set the book down on the table and turned back to the open box. She brushed aside a pair of her own gloves, raising an eyebrow at Kim as she did so.
“They were comfortable,” Kim confessed bashfully.
Nodding, she shuffled through a fair-sized pile of photographs and some random papers, making small noises of amazement every so often as Kim looked on silently – waiting patiently for her partner to get over her surprise and awe. “This is incredible.” Her fingers brushed against a tiny plush keychain that looked like some demented combination of a lizard and a duck and she groaned quietly, lifting it up for Kim to see. “Of all the things you wanted to save from Global Justice, why the Hell did you pick this?”
Blushing, Kim looked down at her plate, smiling faintly, “It was cute. I’d never seen a Duckuana before. Besides,” she straightened, “Did you really want GJ to know you had a Cuddle Buddy?”
Shego smirked, “Good girl.” She grimaced, “Oh God, I can just picture the looks on their faces if they ever found out.” She glared at her partner hotly. “I never owned one of those…things, you hear me?”
Kim grinned. “Promise. No one will ever hear about it. Just me and Pandaroo…” Her smile softened as she thought about the one companion she’d had all these years away from home, but then she turned devilish as she thought of the…other one, “us and Flamingoat.”
Shego stiffened. “What the…you have it? Where?” She started to get up, but then came back to herself. “You know what, forget it. You can keep it.”
“Don’t worry, Shego.” Kim grinned wildly, “He’s safe. By the way,” she speared another piece of egg. “Where on earth did you manage to get one, anyway? They only made 10.”
“First thing I ever stole for myself after becoming a thief,” Shego let a tiny smile slither across her face. “You could call it a trophy of sorts.” Without another word, she shoved a bite of toast into her mouth to shut herself up.
Kim grinned as she continued eating. “I knew you’d be glad to have this stuff back.”
The rest of the meal passed in relative silence. Shego was almost completely engrossed in rediscovering these once-lost fragments of her past while Kim was content to just watch the emotions play across her companion’s face. Kim was amazed at how very young her villainess looked, how much more relaxed her pale, striking features were as she quietly searched through the full box.
Then, with an abruptness that startled Kim, Shego replaced the diary and keychain inside and pushed the box away to the middle of the table. “I’ll go through it more later. Right now,” she turned back to her food, “I don’t think it would be nice to let this food go to waste, now would it?”
“Certainly not,” Kim agreed, “Besides, today is supposed to be our day to relax and forget about the world outside these two walls.” Kim started cleaning up her eggs. “You really feel like going through that box today?”
Shego considered it, chewing thoughtfully on her meal. “To be honest, I do – but I don’t feel like sharing – not today.”
“Fair enough.” Kim stood up with her empty plate and moved to place it in the sink before returning to the table for her tea and going to sit down on the long couch, switching her stereo on as she passed it. Before any music could start, she snatched up the remote and set the volume down low, pleased to hear the soft melody of her favourite band start up. It was definitely a relaxing tune and Kim laid her head back on the cushions, letting the music wash over her. She was content to leave Shego to her reminiscing; she’d share when she was ready.
A few songs and some time later, Kim heard Shego stand up and move to pile her plate with Kim’s in the sink. Then, a weight settled down on the couch beside Kim and she felt a warm body press in against her side. Without really meaning to, Kim’s arm shifted to wrap around Shego’s shoulder and pull her in a little closer to her side, holding the villainess comfortingly.
Unable to stop herself, Kim felt her mind reach out to her partners, testing the waters no deeper than to feel her outer emotions. Sadness, guilt, frustration, weariness…Shego was tired – tired of the garbage hand that life had dealt her through a rogue comet, a bumbling mad scientist, and a dozen other random acts of unfortunate effects.
What a pair of lives we lead, eh Shego?
Kim considered her own life, all the highs and lows she’d been through and the people she’d met over the years. She’d had some bad times, but nothing like what Shego had been through. Kim had been fortunate enough to be born into a family that didn’t push her in a direction she didn’t want to go, who loved and supported her no matter what decisions she made. She still wasn’t exactly sure how they would take her more recent decisions or if they would accept who she was with and the growing amount of space in her life that was being occupied by her new partner, but it couldn’t be all bad, could it?
“That’s nice,” Shego mumbled suddenly from her place on Kim’s right.
“Huh?” Kim looked down at her partner to meet a pair of midnight dark, forest green eyes. She had been so lost in thought she almost hadn’t heard Shego’s comment. “What did you say?”
Shego smiled faintly up at her. “You have a nice singing voice.” Her eyebrow rose at Kim’s confused expression, “You were singing…for the past few minutes.”
“Was I?” Kim listened to the song that was playing and realized that she had in fact been singing along without knowing it. “Oh, I guess I was just lost in my thoughts.” She listened to the mournful, flowing melody of the song as it came to a close.
“Seriously,” Shego sat up straighter but maintained her closeness to her partner. “That was a really good song – what was it?”
Kim felt her lips curve into a wistful smile. “What – ‘Lucky me’? I love this song.” Her head fell back against the couch as her eyes closed lightly. “I first heard it a few months after I started University here.” She thought back to that time, “I was going through a bit of a rough time because I was starting to miss home and my family, but I wouldn’t let myself leave my new home. I was finally doing something for me, you know? I didn’t want to lose that,” Shego’s slow nod was all she needed.
Kim restarted the song, “one of my classmates at the time, Marie, figured I was homesick and needed a friend, so she just started talking to me out of the blue. It didn’t take too long for us to get close enough to really call each other friends. Then, she invited me to a Great Big Sea concert with her so I went along. I’m really glad I did too.”
“Why’s that?” Shego’s voice was low.
Kim thought back to the concert when things had started looking up in her life away from Home. “After the concert, this started to become home to me.” She stared up at the ceiling. “They played this song and it really hit me – it’s all about finding the good in all things. It’s about seeing the world through hopeful eyes even when things are at their darkest, about knowing that tomorrow’s going to be a better day if you can get up and suffer the world’s pain and storms.” She sighed, “I mean, when tragedy hits you, people try to be so supportive and it’s great that they try, but they always come up with those stupid little one liners, you know?”
Shego nodded, “things like, ‘things can only get better’?”
Kim smiled thinly, “‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’”
“‘God has a plan for everyone…’” Shego chuckled sadly, “I almost tore the priest apart when he said that to me at Mom’s funeral.”
Kim’s smile faded. “‘Tomorrow’s a new day’?”
Shego made a thoughtful sound. “Okay – that one’s true.”
Kim nodded, “I actually think they’re all true, but none of them are things you want to hear in the moment.” She paused, I mean, God bless them for trying, but friends and family need to learn that when you’ve been dealt a terrible hand you don’t want to think about what’s going to happen next. Things like that aren’t really comforting at all.”
Shego’s only reply was to nod slowly as they both listened to the soft music as it played through to the end of that song. “You’re right,” she said quietly a few minutes later, “It’s not much of a comfort.”
Kim glanced down, “I’m sorry…”
“But it is some comfort – especially coming from you.” Shego’s body relaxed into Kim’s and she wrapped her arms around the redhead’s waist. “And it’s very sweet of you to share this part of your life with me.” She stretched up and placed a quick kiss on Kim’s cheek before pulling back to lay her head on her heroine’s shoulder. “Thank you, Kim.”
Kim looked down at the top of Shego’s head, smiling gently. “You’re welcome, Shego.”
Lucky Me: by Great Big Sea
He was born a sailor’s son,
Nothing came easy or Free.
He suffered the squalls all the rises and falls,
And Everything else in between.
He said “Storms always fade after they’ve had their way,
They’re never as bad as they seem.”
As long as the River still runs to the Sea,
Hey lucky you, lucky me,
Hey lucky you, lucky me.
Who would have thought for a moment,
She’d have to grow up so fast.
The school beauty queen with a child at 16,
She swore that her fortunes had passed.
But blessings can hide in the strangest disguise,
And I know she would agree.
As long as the River still runs to the Sea,
Hey lucky you, lucky me,
Hey lucky you, lucky me.
Hey look at me in the spotlight,
My ripped jeans and Rock ‘N Roll hair.
Feeling so cool but I’d be such a Fool,
Singing to no one out there.
So hey take a bow, every band needs a crowd,
And I’ve got a song we can sing.
As long as the River still runs to the Sea,
Hey lucky you, lucky me,
Hey lucky you, lucky me,
Hey lucky you, lucky me…
Thank you to Great Big Sea for coming up with such a wonderful song. And I hope I haven’t ruined the fun by throwing the lyrics in.
Disclaimer: “Lucky Me” belongs to Great Big Sea.
Author’s note: Well, there you have it at last…Chapter 18. We’ll be winding this story down in a few chapters, and then it’ll be time for me to focus on the massive project that has to happen before the sequel to this. But be patient…I’ll get it done.
See you next chapter…