Gaining entrance was deceptively easy and gave no indication as to the difficulty of the arduous task ahead. Kim gave the door a final push and let it slowly swing back against the inner wall. The foyer was empty but she could hear sounds of activity in the kitchen.
Her heart was a trip hammer in her chest as she slowly walked down the hall. Mustn’t be too quiet, mustn’t be too stealthy; this isn’t a mission.
Maybe it was.
Shego washed the girls’ plastic dishes and bibs and rinsed the few crumbs down the drain. The table was cleaned and the children were already down for their naps. Now there were a few hours that she could call her own and she’d decided that she was going to read a book; there was a cheap reprint of an old H.G. Wells classic that she’d founded at a flea market that she’d wanted to start.
Walking from the kitchen to the living room, she didn’t make eye contact with Kim.
“Baby?” The retreating form with its flowing veil of black hair didn’t slow down.
Noting that all was secure, the tall woman seated herself with a glass of Merlot and cracked open the science fiction hardback. She preferred paperbacks because they required less space, but when she was reading ‘old school’ she preferred to do it the right way.
Kim moved after her, closing in on the reclining form, making no effort to mask her presence but wishing rather that the dark haired woman would yell or punch or kick at her. Ever since she’d left Bueno Nacho after her impromptu lunch date with Bonnie, Kim had known that it was time to face the music. She didn’t just walk away from Shego and avoided an argument, she’d turned her back on her lover and spouse and their two children.
After all her harping about maintaining open communications and not hiding their emotions, she’d violated the one primary rule that Shego had been forced to accept.
“Sweetheart?”
Shego finished the introduction and moved into the first chapter. She never missed reading the ‘intro’ because she gained insight from other authors or from critics about a writer too long in the grave to speak for himself. Fortunately she had this time all to herself to relax and read. Yep, it’s nice and peaceful in here; a few hours to read and maybe take a nap of my own.
It wasn’t fair that the book was always shifted and moved to stay in the line of sight between Kim and Shego. Didn’t she look sorry enough? Wasn’t her shame obvious?
“Shego, please…”
A nice, quiet read… DAMN! The book exploded into two shredded halves and ignited in green flame. The heat caused the aged paper to flare so hot and fast that there wasn’t even enough smoke to set off the smoke detectors or embers to mar the carpet.
Shego launched herself from her chair and grabbed Kim by the shoulders, propelling her back down the hallway and right to the main door. Flinging the startled girl across her back, Shego shut the door behind her and ran to the stairwell. The fire door didn’t have an alarm sensor and it opened easily.
The roof was only two stories above their own floor and the raven-haired woman was able to get there without any trouble from the unresisting shape she carried. Kim was raised several feet into the air and slammed down onto her back in the loose aggregate covering the buildings roof. She was too stunned to breathe, all senses scrambled from the impact.
“DAMN you! You… you’re always the one telling me to ‘not hide my feelings’ and ‘oh, Shego, we can’t keep things from each other’… and you just WALK AWAY?”
There was no argument for this, and Kim knew it.
“I’ve changed for you, Hell, I’ve changed EVERYTHING for you, and you just waltz in and out and ‘oh, I don’t know what you mean, who’s acting strange?’”
Shego loomed over Kim, the younger girl flat on her back and the older, stronger woman kneeling over her, fists clenched in rage. Those fists were brought up and up, higher over the young woman’s face.
Kim was getting dust in her eyes from the dirty pebbles on the roof, but she would not avoid what was about to happen.
“DAMN YOU!” Shego slammed her fists, green and hot and radiant with plasma, down before her.
Anger spent and with an emotional void already gathering in its wake, Shego rolled back onto her butt and sat beside her wife’s limp form. The afternoon sun beat down on the rooftop, the leavings of a million birds and the residue of a million car exhausts littering the surface.
“You’re going to have to change your shorts, otherwise you’ll stain the seat cushions.” Kim pushed herself up into a sitting position, two small craters melted into the roof right beside where her head had rested moments before.
“Do you feel better?”
Shego’s reply was to grab a handful of pebbles and throw them at Kim, who accepted it with good grace.
“I’m sorry for leaving you and the girls today, I really am.” She brushed the grit from her face and hair.
“Shut up.” This was going to be a bad one, she could tell.
“Did the girls go to sleep for you?”
“Shut the HELL up.” This was going to be a really bad one.
“Maybe if we sparred up here for a while? Not too long, you know, since we can’t just leave the girls unattended.” Kim picked herself up and attempted to brush all the dust from her clothes. Shego seemed content to stay seated, cross-legged on the rooftop, with her hands over her face. There was no more throwing of stones, no more curses, just avoidance.
“Well, I’m going back to the apartment. I’m really not comfortable up here and leaving the girls alone.” Kim moved to the stairwell door, passing close to Shego.
“Please don’t stay up here too long. If you see my wife please tell her that I love her and that I want to apologize for being such an ass.”
The apartment was exactly as they had left it. For all its dramatics, the act of dragging Kim to the roof had achieved the desired effect: to not wake the children. There was little left to do now but clean up the soot from around the recliner in the living room and wait. Kim lay down on the sofa and tried to rest, feeling ashamed at her behavior that morning. She thought that she might doze, but she counted every tick of the clock in the kitchen three rooms away.
It was an hour before Kim heard the door open and knew that her spouse had returned. There was no sense of anger or threat of attack, just the fatigue that comes from being heartsick. Looking up, it was obvious from the reddish tinge around her eyes that Shego had been crying.
The tall woman sat down on the floor beside the couch and looked into the face of the mother of their children.
“Do you know how many times you’ve kicked me in the face?”
“More times than I can count, I know that.” A lump formed in Kim’s throat.
“And punched me in the gut, or thrown me down?”
“I don’t…” the words trailed off in a squeak as Kim’s voice broke. Shego raised her hands to Kim’s face and cupped it in her palms.
“All of those cuts, bruises and fractures never hurt as much as what you did to me today. You didn’t just walk off and leave me; you turned your back on our children as if they weren’t important.” Shego was as calm as Kim had ever seen for, for all the pain that laced her voice.
“As if we weren’t important.”
Kim let her face crumple in misery. She couldn’t even speak to ask for the forgiveness that she needed.
“I’m so…” Shego cut her off with a finger across Kim’s lips.
“Not yet. I’m still very angry and not ready to accept the apology that I know you want to make. You’ll get a change to make it and we’ll talk, but not right now. This is a time for me to blow off some steam.” Shego stood and left Kim’s field of vision. When she returned, she was holding a small clutch purse and her car keys.
“I’ll be back from the store in about an hour and more receptive to conversation then.” Shego walked to the door and turned. “If it’s any consolation for the next sixty minutes, I know now that you’re rubbing off on me. I never used to be this reasonable.”
The door was pulled shut behind her and Kim cried silently while her heart broke.
Supermarkets were usually not Shego’s cup of tea; mobs of citizens clustering around daily specials and taking numbers at the deli counter must be a ring in Dante’s Hell, she didn’t doubt. It was also clear across town from the apartment, plenty of time to simmer down.
First the drive and then aisle upon aisle of staples and luxuries, not so much ‘me time’ as ‘mindless time’ was what Shego craved right now. She was well aware that she looked a bit unearthly with her black hair and black sunglasses against greenish-white skin, and she gained a visceral pleasure in disturbing the other patrons with her presence.
A voice called to her as she neared the checkout lane.
“Excuse me, you’re Shego, right?” It was Bonnie Rockwaller, standing beside a frumpy middle-aged woman in a housecoat and curlers. “Mom, you go on ahead and check out, I’ll catch up with you at the car.” The older woman excused herself and moved ahead.
“I know that we didn’t have much to say this morning at the park. I wanted to thank you for letting me meet your beautiful girls.” Bonnie seemed friendly enough, but was there a question in her eyes, hesitancy?
“No big.” Oh, my sweet Heaven, did I just say that? “Um, it’s Ok. You’re welcome. Do you have any children?”
First shock, and then understanding crossed Bonnie’s tanned face.
“Kim didn’t tell you about our lunch did she?”
“No, we… hm… haven’t spoken much since she got home.”
“Well, please don’t be too mad at her. I needed to talk and she’s the only one I felt I could talk to.” Bonnie looked heartened and she actually started to reach for Shego, but stopped just short of contact. Lesbian issues?
“We did sort of run off and leave you in the lurch, I’m really sorry about that.”
“It’s alright, Kim has… that affect on people.” The two women had reached the cashier and unloaded their carts to be itemized.
“Yeah, she’s really something.” Shego was starting to feel a lump in her own throat.
“Yeah, she is.” Bonnie looked as if she wanted to give Shego some support of her own, but did know exactly why or how. The tall woman suddenly wanted to be elsewhere right now, holding a certain someone close to her.
“I, uh, didn’t like her very much back in high school and wasn’t very nice to her. She probably didn’t like me much either, but she never did anything to me like I did to her.” Bonnie let a tiny smirk cross her face at some the memories, but that quickly died the death it deserved.
“We had a long ‘heart to heart’ talk today and do you know that I don’t think she held any of my shit against me?”
Shego looked Bonnie in the eyes and removed her own sunglasses before reaching over to give the tanned woman a one-armed embrace. Bonnie stiffened slightly, but more from the unsolicited contact rather than personal prejudice or distaste.
“Rockwaller, please excuse me, but talking with you has suddenly made me want to give my wife a big kiss.” Shego already had her purse out to pay for the groceries, after doing so she removed a small card and handed it to Bonnie.
“Here’s our number, I hope you’ll stop by while you’re still in town. Call first and we’ll plan a night out.” Shego wrangled her cart to the automatic door. “I mean it, we’d love to have you.”
Bonnie stood there, bemused, watching the raven-haired woman saunter across the parking lot and drive off in her car. She felt the stirrings of something that she once tasted a long time ago and all too briefly; Bonnie was starting to feel hope again.
The trip back home couldn’t be over fast enough, and why did they have to live so far above the ground like this? The elevator ride took a whole twenty seconds.
Since no more than a half of an hour had elapsed since she’d left, Shego didn’t expect anything to be different, and she was glad that all was quiet. She looked for Kim on the sofa, but the younger girl wasn’t there. Stopping by the bathroom, no one was there either, but something else about that tidy room caught Shego’s attention.
All of the linens were gone; every washcloth, towel and floor mat was missing. The naked hooks and stainless steel rods were starkly exposed.
“Kim?” Shego walked from room to room, opening doors and looking inside, keeping her voice down so as not to wake the girls in their crib. She left the girls’ room until last for fear that she would inadvertently waken them. Once inside the doorway, she couldn’t bear not to look upon them, albeit briefly.
The crib was empty.
More puzzled than concerned, Shego turned to leave the room when she noticed something colorful on the floor under the crib. It was a sneaker; one of Kim’s, and it was attached to a leg. Crouching down, Shego looked under the crib and looked into the emerald green eyes that stared back at her from the shadows.
Kim was lying on the floor under the crib and was curled around the sleeping formed of her daughters. Having apparently changed out of her ‘mission clothes’, she appeared to be awake and alert but Shego could see no awareness in those eyes, so deep and green like her own. There was very little of Kim in those eyes, just life without mind.
“Kimmie?”
The face, the hair, the clothing and body underneath were all familiar, but the eyes were different. They were like dolls eyes, lifeless, dead as marbles.
Then Kim blinked those eyes; as quickly as that, Kim was looking back out at her.
Take them, Kim mouthed silently to Shego.
One at a time, each tiny girl was gently handed to Shego, who in turn placed each on her bed. When this operation was completed, Shego looked back to Kim who still had her legs drawn up to her chest. The tall woman simply reached under the crib and grasped a pair of slender calves, dragging Kim out into the open.
Kim looked up, eyes wet, an unspoken plea on her face. A pale Solomon, her wife enfolded the slender girl in her arms, lifted and carried her out of the room. Shego walked to the living room and carefully dropped Kim onto the couch.
“Princess, we really need to get some new material.” Kim looked pensive, but not particularly weepy. Shego continued.
“It’s the same old story: there’s a misunderstanding, we get mad, we yell, we fight, you cry, I yell some more, and then…” Shego was already waiving her hands in frustration.
‘And then you forgive me?” Kim didn’t sound hopeful. Shego knelt back down beside the sofa, repeating her actions from less than an hour ago.
“Always.” Pale, green-tinted fingers traced the lines of Kim’s brow, nose and chin. “I will always forgive you because you’re is the heart that beats within my chest. I have no other reason to live than for you.” She closed her eyes and sighed.
“I just… I just don’t want most of our conversations to keep ending with you being sorry for something and me forgiving you.” She ran her fingers through her bride’s fiery red hair, marveling at how it caught the light. “After all of this time with you, I want to be the kind of woman you are, the kind of woman you want me to be; caring, open…” Shego firmly caught Kim’s attention.
“And communicative; you did something today that if it had been me would have driven you right through the roof. No, no, don’t cry, I accept your apology. But our love needs to be more than a series apologies and forgiveness if we’re going to stay together.”
Shego stroked Kim’s head as the younger girl assimilated this information. She sniffled a few times and then pulled herself up into a sitting position.
“Ok, then; let’s start right now. Why do you love me?”
“Because of everything I’ve ever seen in you since the first day we fought. I just wasn’t thinking clearly then. It’s as simple as that.” Shego saw hope in this game.
“My turn; why do you love me?”
“Because I see in you everything I’d like to be. I want to be as smart, as fast and as powerful as you. You can carry on an intelligent discussion about almost everything, no one can bring you down, and you can…”
“No, Pumpkin, stop. That’s not love, that’s envy. You of all people have nothing to be envious of. Now, I want you to think again; why do you love me?”
There was the silence of decisive thought.
“I love you because you make me feel loved. You’re the best, and you say you love me, so that means that I must be worth something, right?”
Shego’s brow furrowed at this answer.
“You don’t really feel that way, do you?” Kim nodded in reply.
“This isn’t a joke, Kim. Please tell me you don’t really feel that way.”
“Of course I do. Why not?”
Stunned at what she was hearing, Shego prayed that she wouldn’t start crying herself. How could the love of her life, so perfect and blessed and with so much to live for, not be able to see her own self-worth?
A dozen immediate arguments against Kim’s self-evaluation battered against the back of Shego’s throat, but she let them stay there.
“Kimmie, I think there’s something else that we need to talk about.” Shego sat back down on the floor and leaned against the front of the couch. She didn’t want to be distracted by the expressions that she expected to appear on Kim’s face.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel fine. Why?”
“All day today, since yesterday evening in fact, you’ve been acting different. You’re moods have been changing back and forth from high to low and back to high without warning.” Shego felt Kim’s hand against her shoulder.
“I’m sor… I heard you mention that this morning. I swear to you that I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Other things aren’t normal either; you’re a DAMN good athlete but while you’re faster and stronger than anyone else your size, I’ve seen you do things today that I’ve never seen before.” Shego risked a backward glance at Kim but only saw confusion there.
“You know… at the monkey bars? And that backward leap before that, and then when you ran off so fast that I couldn’t follow?”
“But we were playing, right? I was having some fun with the girls and then a man was mugged! I had to help him!”
“Is that what it was? I saw an ambulance arrive shortly before you came back, but Kim… that was TWO BLOCKS down the street!” Shego turned fully around and looked for answers in her wife’s face.
“How did you know that man was being mugged? How?”
“I… I heard it first and them saw the attack.” Kim looked worried.
“Ok, so did you catch the mugger?”
“…”
“Kim, this is important. Did you catch him? Did you get the victims property back?”
“I know that I returned some money and a watch and some medication to an elderly man, but the mugger…” Kim’s gaze wavered and her eyes glazed over.
“I do not remember.”
“SEE? This is NOT right! I know that you’re always complaining about how you wish you were ‘as smart as me’… whatever you think that means… but you’ve got a first-rate mind and brains coming out your ass!”
Kim and Shego just looked at each other for a few seconds, and then burst out laughing. The questioning had become a little too intense for both of them and the tension needed to be eased somewhat; this was the perfect way to defuse the anxiety.
They let the humor of the statement distract them for a few minutes.
“Kimmie, I am serious though. Your moods and behavior have been a little erratic today. I’m wondering if it might have something to do with your fall back at Drakken’s warehouse.”
“Did Ron fill you in on the details? I didn’t get hurt, honest.”
“I know you didn’t get hurt, baby, but with the stress of working towards your ‘GJ’ evaluation the other day and the drama at the warehouse, I pray that your marbles didn’t get shaken too much.” Shego noticed a smirk on Kim’s face.
“What?”
“You said ‘drama’. You’re using my words.” This amused Kim.
“Yeah, damn it. I said something else like that a little while ago, too. That reminds me, I ran into Bonnie at the market while I was out. I gave her our telephone number and asked her to call on us while she was in town.”
“Spank’n! That’s great! You’ll like her.”
“I think I will, but don’t distract me!” Shego leaned over Kim and held the redhead’s face, giving her younger wife a long, slow passionate kiss. When they finally broke for air, Kim was reeling from the intensity of it. Shego asked a final question.
“Will you promise me that if you don’t feel well, if you feel odd in any way, you’ll let me know?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Don’t be a smart-ass, just look me in the eyes and promise me that if you ever start to feel too ‘up’ or too ‘down’ or like something is wrong that you’ll tell me. Ok?”
Kim returned the earlier kiss with one of her own, equally strong and passionate. When they broke for air that time, it was Shego that was reeling.
“Cross my heart and hope to die, I promise.”
“And one day soon I’m going to ask you once more why you love me. And you’d better have an answer.” Shego looked around them at the nice, clean, boring apartment.
“Ok, so what do we do now? Do we want to sit here all day or go kick some buttage?”
Kim brightened at the suggestion.
“What did you have in mind?”
“Here’s the sitch… damn it, Pumpkin, stop giggling at me… let’s get changed into our uniforms and go find a can of whup-ass to open. Surely, that nerdlinger of yours can dredge up something going down somewhere in the world!”
“First, Wade might be a nerd, but he’s not ‘mine’; he’s my friend and he’d be your friend too, if you’d let him. Second, what do we do about the girls? And third, don’t call me Shirley.”
Shego just had to smile at how resilient her wife was; yet another of the many reasons she loved Kim so much.
“I’ll call Monique and give her the choice, and I can always call the neighbor’s kid across the hall. You call Wade and see what he can find for us.”
Kim launched herself from the couch and hugged Shego tight, planting many tiny kisses all over her face and neck. Then she ran to get her Kimmunicator.
“Oh, and Princess, I hate to be crude, but you’ll want to brush your teeth before we leave. You’ve got a wicked case of sour mouth.”
“Eww! Gross. Thanks for telling me.”
Shego passed the linen closet on her way to the bedroom.
“And another thing; where are all the towels?”
“…”
“Kim?”
“They’re in the wash.”
“All of them?” Shego had opened the linen closet and didn’t see a single towel or washcloth in there either.
“Well, it was you that made a crack about my homemaking skills! Now you’re busting on me for cleanliness?”
“Ok, Ok! Just warn me next time. I guess I’ll have to dry my face with toilet paper.”
As Shego stayed in the bedroom to change into her uniform, Kim activated her Kimmunicator. Wade’s pleasant face appeared in a few seconds.
“What’s the sitch, Kim?”
“Wade, we need to get out and blow off some steam. Any action out there?”
“Things getting down at Casa de Kigo?”
“You could say that. We both need a change of scenery.”
The boy entered some data for his online search parameters and compared the readouts from several terminal screens.
“I’ve got a sighting of Monkey Fist in South America, but nothing illegal has been reported yet.” His eyes widened at something on another screen. “This is more like it; Duff Killigan is back in Scotland and he’s threatening to wreck the Old Course at St. Andrews!”
“Can you get us a lift, something supersonic?”
“ I have just the thing; there’s a concord flying out of the Middleton airport tonight. Apparently a celebrity had commissioned it for a stateside promotional visit on the behalf of the Bank Of Scotland. You remember how you foiled that illegal fund transfer of their entire gold reserve? I’ve already contacted them and they’re happy to return the favor. He’s flying home tonight and you should get to be at St. Andrews first thing in the morning.”
“Nice going, Wade! Who’s the celebrity?”
“It’s Sir Se… Ghaa!” The young boy’s mouth went slack and his eyes were wide.
“Wade, are you alright? What’s wrong?” The boy didn’t respond; he just kept gazing past Kim. She turned around to see that Shego had silently crept up beside her.
“Hey, Wade, Kim says that you’d be my friend. Is that right?”
“SHEGO! You zip up your outfit RIGHT NOW!” The pale woman grinned and skipped back to the bedroom.
“Uh… Wade?” Kim turned her attention back to the Kimmunicator to see that Wade wasn’t doing any better.
“I’ll just, um, switch off from this end and check on you later, Ok?”
No response, but was that drool on his chin? Kim deactivated the machine and stomped after her giggling spouse.
Interlude.
The blue man hadn’t spoken since he was first brought to the Middleton facilities of Global Justice earlier that day. This certainly didn’t imply that his condition wasn’t important, because Dr. Mayers was doing enough talking for two people.
“Once again, Dr. Director, I must protest! My patient is in no condition to be interrogated in this fashion!” The healer waved an arm towards the unmoving form.
“And once again I believe that you are underestimating his recuperative powers. Dr. Lipsky has proven many times before that he has the resistance of an Ox.”
“We aren’t just talking about his mind, we’re talking about his brain; the actual organ itself. Lipsky has been subjected to a broad spectrum of anti-psychotics in an attempt to restore balance to his brain chemistry.” Mayers handed a sheaf of papers to Dr. Director.
“The blood work and tissue sampling we’ve done indicate that he’s been self-medicating for years. Do you have any idea of the damage we need to undo?”
“Calm yourself, Doctor. You do your profession credit, but you are not dealing with an ordinary man.”
They each took a brief involuntary glance towards the patient. Drew Lipsky was still dressed in his jumpsuit and hadn’t moved or spoken of his own volition since that first day in the hospital. He had been brought into Global Justice in an attempt to get him to divulge any information about his forays into broadcast power.
The conference room was empty except for the three of them. The table was littered with what scant documents and diagrams the ‘Cleaning Crew’ had been able to salvage from the wreckage of the warehouse, along with several photographs taken of the machine’s remains. Page after page had been set in front of Lipsky in an attempt to obtain any data that they could.
No information was forthcoming. Mayers sighed and leaned back in his chair.
“The situation is untenable, but I appreciate the position you are in. I only want to make sure that no ground is lost in Dr. Lipsky’s recuperation.”
“And I can appreciate that also, not so much for your patient, but in the matter of national security. Never fear, we’ll take good care of the man.”
“…”
The two professionals turned at the faint sound over their shoulders. Lipsky had been so silent and unmoving that it had been all too easy to forget that he was there. Now his arm was raised to the table and he had separated one photograph from all the rest.
“Where. Did. You. Find. That?” The speech was slurred and slow and painfully deliberate.
“Welcome, Dr. Lipsky, to the halls of Global…”
“Silence. Woman.” The blue face was bathed in sweat from the exertion of focusing his thoughts. A pale blue finger slowly tapped the image before him.
“Where?” Nonplussed at the rebuke, Dr. Director stood and peered closely at the paper.
“That was found at the bottom of a pit, the subbasement of your warehouse lair. It was partially buried by the machine when it fell.”
“Already… compromised?” Clear eyes straining to keep the uniformed woman in focus, Lipsky craned his neck as if forcing the words out.
“Apparently not. It seemed to have been ruptured when the independent operative caused your device to fall.”
“Was any… one present… at the time.”
“Yes, the operative was. A narrow escape, I was led to understand.”
“Who? Explain.”
“You should be able to guess, even in your current state. It was Kim Possible.”
“Was. She. Injured?”
“Miraculously not. The fall would have been enough to kill or cripple anyone, but our girl pulled through once again.” The ‘GJ’ executive officer allowed herself the luxury of letting her pride show.
“Initial reports claimed that she was crushed under the falling machine, but that was a blatant error since she was given a thorough examination afterwards and didn’t have a scratch on her, not even a bruise.”
Lipsky lowered his arm away from the table and placed it back in his lap. His head lowered until his chin touched his chest.
“You. Have. A. Problem.”
End Interlude.
The trans-Atlantic flight had been as smooth as silk.
Also a guest of the Bank Of Scotland, Sir Sean Connery regaled the young women with stories of his film career, the hard but simple life as a child in Edinburgh, and of his lovely wife Micheline. Die-hard fans of his films, the girls hung on his every word and they enjoyed each other’s company immensely.
“Sho, tell me agen what it ish that yu du?” While he was too much of a gentleman to not give his full attention to both girls, he primarily addressed Kim because Shego was practically in a daze.
“Well, I occasionally save the world from mad scientists and psychos.” Sir Sean nodded appraisingly.
“Ahnd yuir green and black friend?”
“She used to be a villain, now she’s my partner and… partner.”
“Ah, a good woman ahnd a bad woman; ahnd me a happily married mahn. Mohr’sh the pity.” He held his glass high. “Cheersh!”
“Will you say it?” Shego was almost clapping her hands in eagerness.
“What, agen?”
“Please!” While not as devastating, Shego’s version of the ‘puppy dog pout’ had its merits. The older man shook his head but acquiesced.
“Oh, ahlright… Pussy Galore.”
Kim and Shego huddled together and squealed like groupies.
“If yu’ll pleashe exchuse me, ladiesh, I need tu freshen ma drink. Yu can’t fly on one wing, yu know.” Connery poured himself another large 18-year Glen Livet and one each for Kim and Shego. His was neat but Kim had convinced her wife that theirs should be sufficiently watered down for their impending fight with Killigan.
While Connery was at the other end of the cabin, Shego turned to Kim.
“Um, Kimmie, do remember when I said that the only man I’d be attracted to was your father?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m sorry but he just got bumped to second place.”
“I’d have to agree… wait, that’s not exactly what I meant.”
“Ahnd when yu said ‘partner’, yu mean…?” Sir Sean had returned with the drinks.
“I mean that we’re living together as a couple.” He smiled sadly and handed them their glasses.
“Dahm, if ohnly I wur ah younger man.”
The concord landed and they said their goodbyes. Shego had to be practically dragged through the terminal.
“Please!” Shego had her hands together in supplication and was literally bouncing up and down.
“Lassie, yu’ve haid me say it ah dozen teims ahlready.”
“Just one more time!” Kim started to use the ‘pout’ but felt it wither against the power of Sir Sean Connery. Nonetheless, he gave in.
“One mohr fohr tha road.” He took a deep breath and spoke with a clear and strong tone that evoked an image of his younger days.
“Pussy Galore.”
“Squeal!”
Kim and Shego had only small overnight bags so they were out of the airport and in their way to the city of St. Andrews with hardly any delay. While they were in the taxi, Shego removed a black marker pen from her ankle pouch and impishly showed it to Kim.
“Um, Pumpkin, while you were in the bathroom, you know, shortly after take off, I asked Sir Sean for an autograph.”
“Cool! Good thinking, I… wait, where exactly did he sign his name?” Shego had to unzip her outfit and partially expose her chest to display the signature. At first, Shego thought that this might upset Kim, but the expression on her wife’s face was that of guilt, not anger.
“Well, while you asked the captain to show you the cockpit, I asked Sir Sean for an autograph too.” Kim removed her own marker pen from a pocket of her cargo pants.
“Oh? Well, where did he sign you?” Kim obligingly showed her.
“Ooh, that dirty old man!”
By the time that they reached the vicinity of the Royal and Ancient Golf Club, it was apparent that Duff Killigan had decided to make an appearance. The entire area was cordoned off and traffic wardens were keeping tourists and passersby at a safe distance. Kim used her Kimmunicator to contact Wade.
“So what’s the sitch, Wade?” The screen showed only Wade’s computer equipment in the background, but the young boy was nowhere in sight.
“Wade?”
“Is Shego dressed?” The timid voice came from somewhere out of frame.
“She is and I’m really sorry about that. I had a talk to her and she’s really, really sorry.” Shego returned to Kim after having gotten a better look past the barriers.
“Yes, Wade, I’m really, really sorry.” Kim was just glad that the hiding boy couldn’t see Shego rolling her eyes as she said this.
“If you’d like, I’ll make it up to you by showing you my autograph collection!” Shego made a hasty retreat away from her scowling wife. Wade finally stepped into view.
“I’ve been in contact with the St. Andrews Links Trust; they say that Killigan is threatening to blow up the Swilcan Bridge unless they concede to his demands.”
“Which are…?”
“That the Trust turn over the Clubhouse to him for use as his private residence and always let him tee off whenever he wants.”
“I can see why they’d be upset about the Clubhouse, but what’s the big deal about the tee time?”
“Kim!” Wade set down his soda with some force. “You have to reserve your tee time months in advance on the Old Course! I doubt they’d even wave that requirement for Tiger Woods!”
“So not the drama, Wade. It’s just a game.” The young boy was scandalized.
“Just for that, expect to start receiving your free 5-year subscription to Golf Digest in 2 to 3 weeks.”
“Sorry, Wade.” Golf enthusiasts!
“Well, anyway, Killigan chased away the rest of the golfers with a few exploding golf balls and he’s planted explosives on the Swilcan.”
“What exactly is the Swilcan Bridge, anyway?” Wade hit a key and the image of a small stone bridge appeared on the Kimmunicator monitor.
“That’s it? It’s cute and all, but what’s the big deal?” This was obviously the wrong thing to say because now Wade was glowering at her.
“Make that a free 10-year subscription.” His image disappeared as the device was deactivated. Kim returned it to her pocket and went to find Shego. The raven-haired woman was talking to a warden.
“So what’s he doing?”
“So far it looks like he just putting around, but he’s knocked a few of his exploding balls towards the crowd whenever the law moves too close.” Shego saw the anger in Kim’s eyes. “Nothing actually into the crowd, just enough to keep everyone back.”
Kim steeled herself for the mission ahead.
“Let’s get this show on the road.”
The two women leapt over the barriers and walked across the grass. Kim admitted that it was a pretty place; the old architecture of the city and the lay of the Old Course were complimented by the view of the North Sea.
They cautiously made their way towards the only golfer on the links that day. Duff Killigan was a burly fireplug of a man; while he was of average height, he was so broad that it made him seem shorter than he really was. While his primary weapon of choice was a selection of specialty golf balls, mostly exploding ones, right now he was using ordinary balls to enjoy a private game.
He looked up when he noticed them.
“Ach, ah’ve bein rummelled!” He said this in jest, bowing slightly and tipping his bonnet to them. Kim moved to within a few yards and planted her hands on her hips.
“Ahn it’s tae malinkly lassie whit wears tae bahookie freezer.” Duff raised his club and rested it across his shoulder. The metal had an unusual sheen.
“Uh, translation please?” Shego never could savvy half of what this man said.
“Yu ah alredy ken, yuir tae madbit hingoot fem whit works fae Drakken.”
“Kim, if you’re going to ask me to come along on these trips, you’ll have to get nerdlinger to whip up a Babel Fish or a Universal Translator or something. I can’t understand this crap at all.”
Killigan smiled a wicked smile and clarified for Shego’s benefit.
“Yuir Drakken’s hoor.” The redhead wanted to cover her eyes to protect her from the massacre that she knew would follow.
“You are so DEAD, you skirt wearing asshole!” Shego launched herself at the Scotsman, plasma already glowing from around her gloves. Duff quickly drew a second golf club from his nearby bag and defended himself. This other club had the same odd luster to the head and shaft.
“Ay, ifs ah barnie yu want, ahm willin’ ta stoat yer wallies!"
Kim watched as Killigan deflected one strike after another, swatting Shego’s plasma blasts aside like… well, like golf balls. For his bulk, the man was fast, but few people could stand against Shego in hand-to-hand combat for long. After an initial flurry of deflected blows, the green and black clad woman took a few steps back and reevaluated the situation.
“Ok, what’s with the clubs?” Shego never dropped her attack posture, but she was up against something new here and information was her best weapon.
“I mean, I’ve seen you fight against Kim and she’d break club after club with her bare hands!” The Scot was frowning at the memories of those past defeats, but then brightened at the chance to brag.
“Fust, itsa KILT, ya graet numpty!” He held out the club or the two women to see more closely.
“Aye, an du ye like? Thaes carved from ‘deepleeted yuir-ayneeum’. Alls tae baeter tae beat yu whit!”
The man began a series of choreographed moves that confirmed his mastery of the martial arts; it was odd that he’d been able to adapt the moves to weapons so unique as golf clubs. They spun faster than the eye could see, but their whirling motion was clearly reflected in the mad orbs of their master.
“Kim, listen, you should leave kilt-boy here to me; you go and see if he’s wired the bridge with anything.” It was obvious the Kim didn’t like this plan.
“No, I’ll stay and you go to the bridge! You’re better at disarming explosives than I am!”
In a heartbeat, the taller woman acknowledged the truth in this and ran for the Swilcan Bridge. The irony was not lost on Shego that, after all the years of fighting against each other, she could still bow to Kim’s natural tactical skills.
Duff watched her run off, and then he turned back to Kim.
“Aloon at lahst! Ifen yae’d want, Ah’d beh ahl tu happeh ta teach ya tae faener puints o’ tae gaem.” Duff leered at Kim, his breaded visage even more threatening and malicious. “Ahn ifen ya ahsk rael nice, mabeh Ahl luft ma kilt ahn shew yu ma sgian dubh!”
“Sick and wrong!” Kim didn’t have a clue as to what this deranged Scot was telling her, but from his expression, it could not be pleasant. Killigan winked at her and brought both clubs to bear.
Leaping forward, she tucked and rolled into a summersault, using gravity to gain the momentum she needed to both evade Duff’s first attack and get in under his defenses. The clubs hummed through the air over her head as she dodged left and right, always moving and never giving Duff the target he needed. If these new clubs were as tough as he claimed, strong and resistant enough to withstand Shego’s plasma, even if only for a few seconds exposure, then she couldn’t risk being hit.
Yards away and increasing the distance, Shego sprinted towards the Swilcan. While it was a fact that she was greatly skilled in the use of explosives, there was no telling if they were hidden near the bridge, if there was a proximity sensor to explode the bridge if she got too close, or anything!
Stopping a few feet away, Shego dropped to the ground and crawled the remaining distance, all the better to protect herself from an unexpected blast. The ancient stones of the bridge appeared to be intact, but the grass at the base was long enough to hide just about anything. Desperately she kept searching the area around the bridge, slowly creeping closer and closer.
Meanwhile, the action behind her became more frantic.
Dodging this way and that, Kim’s goal was to either make contact with a fist or kick that would strike hard enough to slow Killigan down a bit, or to just let the madman wear himself out. Unfortunately he seemed to gain speed and energy with each parry and feint.
Wind milling the clubs between his fingers, Killigan advanced on Kim. In addition to keeping an eye on the deadly cudgels, she was inspecting the man for any sort of remote control that he might have on his person to explode the bridge.
“Lassie, ah sae yuir chaekin oot mae sporran. Cudt bae yuir sweet ahn ol Duff?”
“Killigan, so not going to happen… EVER. Why’d you ever get into golf in the first place?” She leapt straight up to avoid the double slice of crossed shafts.
“Eh? Wae yu asken?” He seemed genuinely interested in her question.
“Because I just don’t get the whole golf… thing.”
“Weel, ah decided no tae audition fur the New Bay City Rollers, cause fur wan, ah didny see how ah wid need a medical exam fust. Tu, ah don't hink at wee baldy bugger wis a real doctor. Three, he seemed awfy interestit in mah jacksie.”
“Definitely sick and wrong.” Even the redhead had to agree.
“Ye ken whit ah wid dae, lassie?”
“What?”
“Ahd bae paen muir atenshun, fy wher yu!”
Duff thrust the head of one club to within a few inches of Kim’s face, causing her to raise her arm in defense. This was unfortunate, because the parry was a feint and her arm was the real target. With mad glee the second club was brought crashing down onto Kim’s right forearm. They both clearly heard the bones snap.
The pain was incredible. In all her years, Kim had rarely had a bone break, and those had been clean fractures that just a few weeks in a simple restraint case would mend. This was like nothing she had ever encountered; the pain wasn’t even the worst. There was this brief, sick moment where her body simply reacted to something being wrong, and then the pain hit.
She wanted to vomit, to curl into a ball, to cry out for her Mother or for Shego, anything to escape this sickening pain. Kim sank to her knees and gasped out a choked wail. The Scot saw his victory as she sat there cradling her arm. The pain rendered her effectively helpless as he watched him close in for the kill.
Kim had known basic first aid for years; like the rest of her training, it was almost without conscious thought that she would at least make a feeble attempt to straighten out her damaged arm and realign the bones. She grabbed at her arm, pulling at her wrist…
The pain vanished.
The change that washed over Kim was like a rain shower of salvation; there was no pain, no feeling of blatant wrongness that impending shock had brought about, only the feeling that all was as it should be and that SOMEONE was now in very deep shit.
Killigan could taste the impending defeat of Kim Possible from the moment that he heard the joyous crunch of her arm. He almost felt bad for what he was about to do, but he assured himself that the feeling would soon pass. Now to finish the task and then explode the hidden bomb, bringing an end to both that annoying Shego and the Swilcan Bridge.
The taste of victory soured in his mouth as Kim stood, both her left and right arms held before her in her traditional fighting stance, the fingers of both hands flexing as if in anticipation of battle.
“Oy, tha’s no rite!” Duff raised his club again, this time to make sure that he hit his target. Kim did not move from where she stood, she simply waited for the blow to fall.
There it was, in the grass at the edge of the burn itself; the item that Shego had been searching for.
As she had been scanning the bridge for any sign of an explosive device, Shego had noticed a small brown rabbit nestled under the bridge. She’d not wanted to see it hurt, plus it was a major distraction to have noticed it in the first place, she she’d tried her best to wave it away. When it still didn’t move after she’d crawled right to it, she knew that she’d hit pay dirt.
The rabbit was fake, but a brilliant reproduction of the creatures natural coloration and shape; it could have lay there for days before anyone saw that it wasn’t real. Not wanting to tip off Killigan that she’d discovered his ruse, she quickly examined the device for trip wires or pressure switches and, finding none, gently lifted the thing and began crawling away from the bridge. Her only reason for keeping a low profile now was so that Killigan didn’t spot her and become suspicious.
Shego was glad to see that Kim had the situation well in hand.
Duff was fast becoming both desperate and frightened. He was battering this young woman with every strike and move in his arsenal of attacks, but she would not be subdued. He felt the shock of each impact travel up his arms so he knew that he was hitting his intended target, but she just kept deflecting his clubs with her arms, hands and even a few with her head. There were similar snaps and crunches heard to the one from before, but Kim Possible was showing no signs of damage or injury. There was also another disconcerting item that made his resolve start to crumble.
Kim was grinning.
The redhead, on the other hand, was feeling great. She didn’t know how or why, in fact she didn’t even care. Very few thoughts were going through her head at all as she ceased to dodge the blows and just let them hit her. The crowd and law enforcement officials from the periphery of the Old Course might have suspected Kim of using body armor under her mission clothes, but there was nothing but flesh and bones.
Flesh that didn’t fail, bones that didn’t stay broken, and muscles that weren’t getting tired; Kim grinned wider.
Too occupied to reflect on this change of events, he did become aware of something else that was strange however; Duff seemed to be moving slower.
While his flurry of motion and the accuracy or control of his movements hadn’t changed, something was different about his tempo; his speed had reduced to being almost casual. It took hardly any effort on her part to just lower her head a fraction, or to lean back slightly, to avoid any one of his thrusts.
Duff on the other hand, was seconds away from hysterics. How could this slip of a girl evade his every swing? He was moving as fast as he could, using every trick in his repertoire, but Kim seemed to anticipate his every move and be able to slide out of the way with the least bit of effort on her part. To make matters worse, he was starting to tire.
“Yuir aff yuir heid, lassie, and pur mental, tae boot!” He lowered his clubs and crossed their shafts in front of him in a defensive posture, backing away as he did so. Fishing around in his sporran, Duff located his remote and prepared to explode the bridge.
He stopped as something landed on the ground a few feet away.
“Hey, jerkweed, I’d think twice about that it I were you!” Kim looked over to see Shego, standing and glaring at the Scotsman from a few yards away. The tall, former villain had just lobbed the explosive device close enough to Killigan that to detonate it now would have been a deadly mistake. The mad golfer looked down at it in shock and disbelief.
“Hey, tha rabbet dinna belong to yu!”
“It dinna?”
“Nay, it dinna!”
With a lunge and spin, Kim whipped past Killigan, knocking the remote from his hand and also grabbing one of his clubs. With no time to properly react to her blinding speed, he raised his remaining weapon over his head but was just as quickly disarmed by the young woman, and with own club!
“Very nice, Duff, these were well made. After the authorities are finished prosecuting you, I’ll have to ask about having them released to me; I know someone else who likes golf and I own him a little apology. These might do the trick.”
The tartan-clan man punched at the air in hi rage; he was beaten! Damn, how could this have happened, and especially here on his home turf, both figuratively and literally? His clubs were taken from him, his carefully camouflaged bomb was discovered and now he wouldn’t even get to finish his game!
A cold gleam entered his eyes as he reached into his sporran for old last thing.
Kim ran over to where Shego stood; Killigan was no longer a threat and the authorities could deal with him well enough. She was still full of energy and managed to perform not just one but three cartwheels in the short distance between herself and her wife. Shego greeted Kim with a firm embrace.
“Looking good as usual, Pumpkin! You were really quick back there, it’s amazing that I ever whupped you as often as I did!”
“Hmm, I seem to recall things a little differently.” Kim noticed that the crowd was actually applauding the two women as they held each other, so she turned and bowed low a few times, holding Shego’s hand firmly enough to force her down into a bow as well. This caught the raven-haired woman off guard since she was not used to such public displays, but she did bow at least twice for Kim’s sake.
As the law closed in around Killigan, he secreted the exploding golf ball in his palm and prepared to throw it where it would count the most. There was no escape for him today, but at least he could strike a moral victory for himself.
Kim happened to catch sight of Killigan rear back his arm and toss something at them. The tiny white sphere was already in the air when she started moving.
“SHEGO, DOWN!” Kim closed the distance quickly, but would she be there in time? The ball was already close enough to them that if it exploded now, they would likely be badly injured. Slender fingers caught the moving object and Kim sought the best direction in which to redirect this deadly missile. She turned away from the onlookers and her hands were temporarily hidden from view.
The ball had barely left her right hand when there was a flash of light and a searing pain. Kim screamed in agony.
Shego cried out in anguish.
Duff howled in triumph.
The crown didn’t do much of anything because they couldn’t really tell what was going on. They did move hurriedly back as the deafening blast rocked across the sward.
The concussion of the blast knocked Kim straight to the ground, but she was all too aware of what she’d just seen: the ball leaving her hand, the explosion, and a cloud of pink mist as her right hand evaporated from the force of the tiny bomb.
Kim clutched the tattered stump of her right wrist to her chest and rolled over onto her stomach, too stunned to breathe or make a sound. The constables quickly recovered from the sudden attack and had wrestled Duff Killigan to the ground and subdued him.
Shego was almost on top of Kim, the shock of what had happened etched across the pale woman’s face. She knelt down beside Kim and gently began to roll the young woman over, pausing only to steel herself against the horrible injuries she expected to see. Gently moving Kim onto her back, Shego inspected her wife before falling down to wrap every limb around the slender girl.
“Oh, Kimmie, thank God you’re alright!”
Kim was still badly shaken from the blast to remain steady on her feet, so she allowed Shego to lift and carry her to the small knot of police circling Killigan. Kim didn’t immediately speak or respond; she was too busy inspecting the wrist and palm and fingers of her right hand. It was whole and intact and stuck out from a badly tattered and shredded sleeve.
“No… no big.” Kim didn’t sound quite right, did feel quite right, wasn’t yet able to wrap her brain around the event that he had witnessed but had apparently been too obscured for others to see. When Shego returned the younger woman to her own feet and let her take a few weak steps of her own, the crown went wild.
“Och, tis nay fair!” Duff wondered if he could regain his reputation if he switched to darts.
“WAIT!” Everyone froze at the voice emanating from the throat of the young redhead. It didn’t sound quite right to any of them, but the sound certainly did seem appropriate for the look of pure hatred on the face of the speaker.
“He’s mine…” Kim advanced on the restrained man, once again flexing two perfectly healthy and intact hands in anticipation.
As the traffic wardens directed the crowd away from the street, two police constables discussed the villain that they had just loaded into their van. Kim and Shego had left the scene several minutes ago and the crowd had almost fully dispersed, returning to their normal lives.
“Ah haer teel tha yon lassie crooshed his balls.”
“Ay, shae ded, rite en frunt ov evrywun, wun et o’ teim.”
“Whah, ahn he ninna pass oot?”
“Nay.”
“Och, tha’s dam harsh, tha es!”
The vanquished Scotsman paid no attention to their discussion, but instead opened his hands and sobbed over the shattered remains of several Slazenger golf balls.
“… mah wee bairns…” he sobbed.
To Be Continued…
Author’s Note:
My family is Scottish and we’ve not been off the boat for too many generations. I am very proud of my heritage so please excuse me if I had a little fun with this chapter and I appreciate your indulgence!
Sir Sean Connery’s likeness was used without permission, but I’d bet even money that he and only he could tame the force of nature that is ‘kigo’. There can be only one!
I had the immense pleasure of visiting the Motherland in 2005 and I spent a day at St. Andrews Old Course; it was the most boring day of the trip. My people might have invented golf, but I’ll agree with Mark Twain on this one: ‘golf is a good walk spoiled’.
I have to tell you, I’m enjoying myself immensely. How about you?