Rysha: WE HAVE NOT DIED! WE ARE BACK! PLEASE SPARE RIN'S PITIFUL LIFE AND MY GREATNESS!
Rin: sings Back in black, I hit the sack, it's been too long, I'm glad to be back… pause Wait a minute… smacks Rysha I am not pitiful and you are not great! … I am great! strikes a dramatic pose
Rysha: throws a water balloon at the back of Rin's head and watches her faceplant HA! What right does a minion have to say that to the almighty Demon Goddess Rysha! lightning flashes in the backround
Rin: pounces on Rysha's back I need a dental plan! I'm going on strike! Fangs are high maintenance, damn you!
Rysha: You know what! Fine! I'll hire new minions, BETTER minions. I'm sure I could require the services of Zuma, Saito, Daku and Kaze as long as I supply them with hentai and naughty drawings!
Rin: snickers Services… sniffs as a big tear drops down my cheek And I bet you'll give THEM dental plans… You're mean…
Rysha: As I just said I'm not giving ANYONE dental, it costs too much. Goddesses aren’t made of money. Though if I wanted to I'm sure I could sell my drawings seeing as that they are in high demand.
Rin: puts a hand to my forehead dramatically You just don't love me enough! I see how it is! jumps back on Rysha's back Feel the lurve!
Rysha: throws Rin off her back and sailing into a wall It's about time you realized your place in life. Here I thought that you were going to live in that delusion for another year or two.
Rin: slides down the wall and collapses in a heap Sadist! blows Rysha a raspberry And I LIKE my delusional world… I AM KING!
Rysha: I knew it. points finger accusingly YOU'VE BEEN A MAN ALL ALONG! HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME LIKE THAT! flies off the set. Rin looks up to see a package fall on her head
Rin: OW! mutters and opens the package, muttering I figured you would've guessed from the bulge, but you're too oblivious in your Demonistic Delusion!
Inside the box is a letter stating that Rysha will have her next chapter posted later in Sept. after school starts and prays that her readers will still come back, Rin then looks back in the package and out of the packing peanuts jumps a… chibi Relena and attaches itself to Rin's face.
Rin: AHHHHHHHHHH! GET THE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER OFF! GET IT AWAY! GETITOFF GETITOFF! AND NOT LIKE THAT! … CURSE YOU RYSHA! … AND FUCK YOU! lights the little Relena on fire
“I wondered about a lot of things in my life, but nothing has puzzled me more than this,” Felix gritted out from between clenched teeth. His eyebrow twitched erratically. “How the hell did Kim put up with you all these years AND keep you both alive!” he hissed at Ron, who looked up at him and grinned.
“Just lucky, I gue-ESS!” Ron stumbled over a stair and came rolling down the rest of the way to land in a heap at Felix’s feet.
Twitch, twitch.
“Whatever,” he sighed and picked the blond boy up. “If you keep making noise, we’re never even going to get close to Norkie.”
Ron brushed his pants off. “Well, it’s not like I’m doing it on purpose!”
The boys crept around a corner silently. Felix did have to admit, it was dark. Instead of an up and running lair, it appeared as if nobody was home.
“Do you think he moved to another lair somewhere else?” Ron asked, poking a large electronical invention nearly taking up the entire wall. Felix grabbed his hand before Ron could fiddle with the machine and most likely cause disaster.
“We’ll never find out until we check out the entire place,” Felix told him.
“Aw, if you wanted to hold hands, why didn’t you just say so?” Ron fluttered his eyelashes at him.
Felix blinked, then stuck out his tongue at Ron, taking back his hand. When Felix turned his back to continue on, Ron spotted a door to the left. Without a second though, he moved toward it.
“Hey, I wonder what this is…” Ron gripped the handle and pulled.
“No!” Felix yelped. When nothing happened, he smacked the back of Ron’s head. “What is wrong with you! It could have been a trap! Or what if Dementor was on the other side? You could have blown our cover!”
Ron grinned. “But I didn’t.”
Felix sighed exasperatedly and Ron used that time to slip into the room. It was a pretty standard room. A table sat off to the side, a big comfortable chair next to it with a book lying upside down on the table. Ron’s curiosity got the best of him and he picked up the book and opened it. He tried to read it but found he couldn’t make any sense of it. It was in English, but the characters seemed to have no logic. He sighed and put it back down sadly.
“It’s a sad, depressing day in which I can’t even read a comic book,” he cried.
Felix’s head appeared over his shoulder. “What?”
“This book makes no sense to me.”
“Since when is that new?”
“Hey! It’s a comic book, I can at least read comics! Or at least I used to…now I can’t even do that!” I’m getting dumber!” Ron paused. “Oh no…”
“What now?” Felix picked up the book.
“Dementor’s using a stupidity ray on us right now! That would explain the book and my clumsiness!” Ron chattered excitedly.
“No, that’s just you.”
Ron slumped. “Damn. Well I can wish. Hey… this must be his room!” His eyes lit upon the bed across the room. Mouth hanging open, he sprinted to it and picked up something. He ran over to the unsuspecting Felix who was still reading the book and shoved it in his face. Felix’s blue eyes flicked upwards and met something big and yellow. He shrieked and fell backwards, tripping over the chair and landing hard on his back.
“It’s so cute!” Ron cried and hugged the yellow thing. Felix just stared. Ron was hugging a stuffed animal that looked like a yellow frog with green spots.
“Ron…” Felix blinked. “It’s a stuffed animal. It’s Dementor’s stuffed animal. And you’re hugging it in the middle of his bedroom when we’re supposed to be saving a recently captured artificial intelligence.”
Ron pouted, sticking out his bottom lip. It wasn’t as good as the Possible puppy dog pout, but it melted Felix on the spot.
“But it’s cute,” Ron repeated more forcefully.
Trying to regain his composure, Felix grumbled as he stood back up. “Things have gotten so weird since I moved to Middleton. My life used to be so normal…” he trailed off.
“Aww, admit it, you love it…” Ron breathed in his ear.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Focus on the mission,” Felix ordered him, fighting the heat he felt crawling up his neck and the suddenly uncomfortable feeling in his pants.
Ron ignored the blushing boy, stuffed his newly acquired frog under his arm and started to walk out the door when he was suddenly hit over the head with something. Blinking at the fallen book, Ron looked at Felix as he passed him.
“Your book reads from right to left. It’s a manga.” Felix smirked and disappeared from view.
Ron’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you walk away from me, you smug bastard. Get your ass back here!” he yelled after his lover.
Felix didn’t get far down the hallway before Ron caught up with him. Tapping his foot, Felix stared his options down. The hallway they were traveling down split three different ways. He finally sighed and turned to Ron.
He abruptly closed his mouth and changed his argument. “You are not taking that thing with you.”
Ron held up the frog and gazed at Felix with his big brown eyes. “But he’ll be lonely!”
“Stuffed animals don’t get lonely.” Felix shook his head.
“But-”
“No.”
Ron sniffed. “You don’t love me anymore.”
“Don’t be silly.”
A large tear spilled down Ron’s cheek.(1)
Felix grumbled. “Whatever. Take the damn frog.”
Ron grinned widely. “Like there was any doubt!” Felix gritted his teeth and turned back to the junction of the halls.
“We have to split up,” he said finally.
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea…” fretted the blond boy.
“It’s our only option. We have to find that stupid A.I.”
“It’s not Norkie’s fault everyone wants to possess him. Speaking of which, is it just me or is something going on between Mrs. P. and Norkie?”
Felix stared at him in horror. “That’s just wrong!”
“I-”
“No.”
“But-”
“Nope.”
“That’s-”
“I don’t care.”
Ron slumped his shoulders in defeat and picked a passage to start down. Felix chose the one on the far side, shaking his head.
“Why did I sign up for this?” Felix asked no one in particular.
Life can be so cruel… Norkie thought as he stared at the metal surface he was lying face down on, his nose a mere inch from the cool metal. He sighed and propped himself up on his elbows the best he could with his wrists bound to the table. Norkie looked over his shoulder in annoyance.
“Will you get away from my ass?”
Dementor scooted back on his stool to blink at the young A.I.
“No.” Dementor went back to work. “Could you hand me that miniscule travestial enhancer?”
Norkie snorted. “Yeah, I’ll get right on it…” He tugged against the metal cuffs. No that he hadn’t already, but it couldn’t hurt to try again, right? It’s not like he’d had anything else to do while the strange genius fiddled with his butt.
“Why don’t you just leave me alone? It’s obvious you like me the way I am.” Norkie grinned, then muttered under his breath, “This gives a whole new meaning to keeping your eye on the prize.”
Dementor sneered. “And you, my technologically advanced friend, have been hanging out with that traitorous sidekick of Drakken’s. I’ve been around her long enough to recognize the sarcasm and that sharp tongue.
“Your point being…?”
“Aha! See, there you go again!” Dementor jumped up and pointed at Norkie dramatically.
Norkie blinked.
“I think you need to go take a pretty blue pill or something…”
“AHH! Just like her! Never knows when to shut her mouth!” the scientist screamed.
“No, she’s just strong enough to take on anybody…” Norkie drawled. He grinned inwardly, knowing exactly what to do to piss off the professor. “…And she’s smarter than anyone I know…”
“No, I am smarter! I am the scientific genius!” he screeched.
Norkie cocked his head to the side. “Except for maybe Kim…or is she smarter than Kim? No… no, but-” he was cut off by the nearly frothing Dementor.
“No! I am! I’m the villain!” he screamed, his voice nearly cracking in its height.
“Kim!”
“Me!”
“Shego!”
“Me!”
“Kim!”
“ME!”
“Wow, you really ARE as stupid as you look,” Norkie stated calmly.
“ARGH!” Dementor hopped up and down, frustrated to no end. “You are… you are… infuriating!”
“…So let me go and we’ll both be happy.” Norkie grinned widely at him.
Dementor’s eyes narrowed as he dug the tool in deeper into the gash and upon hearing a grinding sound, he stopped. Norkie glared at him, but didn’t press his luck. After a few minutes went by with only the sound of tools on metal, Dementor spoke up.
“So how did you manage to get four long slashes in such a sensitive spot?” he asked the A.I. curiously.
Norkie stared intently at the metal surface before him. Hearing no answer, the scientist tweaked a circuit and Norkie twitched uncontrollably, gritting his teeth to prevent any sound from escaping.
“All right, all right!” he snarled, eventually giving in. Dementor let up and sat back, waiting patiently. Norkie could see the triumphant gleam in his eyes though.
“I…They’re Shego’s claw marks…” he admitted quietly. There was a pause, then… Dementor cackled gleefully, tears forming in his eyes as he attempted to stay on his chair.
“It’s not that funny…” Norkie glared daggers. “And it wasn’t even my fault!” That was when Dementor really did fall off his stool. Staring down at the incapacitated genius, Norkie sulkily thought about the encounter.
Norkie was curled up on a green couch in the Possible house absorbed in a good book. He almost matched the color of the couch, making him nearly invisible. Which was probably why the two women didn’t notice him when they entered the room.
Shego whispered something in Kim’s ear, a mischievous sparkle in her emerald eyes and Kim blushed to her roots. The red head snorted, her face still flaming, but her pride refusing to acknowledge the fact. Kim stepped forward and snatched up a pillow, but when she moved forward, that mischievous spark that Norkie had seen in Shego’s eyes set aflame. She reached down and lightly smacked the red head’s ass, a grin spreading across the villainess’s face.
Kim’s mouth dropped open in an ‘o’ and she whirled around to hit the other girl with the pillow. Shego easily threw up an arm to deflect the pillow onslaught. Kim seemed to know that she’d do that because she never hesitated when she pounced on the dark haired woman, sending the two of them to the floor. When Shego leaned up to kiss the teen hero, the fight was over.
Norkie did, however, confront Shego about it later.
“Shego…” Norkie stopped himself from tapping her shoulder, remembering that she didn’t like to be touched. Shego looked up from the paper she’d been skimming.
“What is it?” she inquired, hooking a leg over the chair arm. She set the paper down and gave him her full attention. He always appreciated that and had a sneaky suspicion that she knew it as well.
“I think I’ve found myself at one of the inconsistent times of life that you told me about…” he blinked, but didn’t continue.
“Are you planning on going on or are you volunteering to be my personal statue?” Shego smirked.
“Well, you informed me on a previous occasion that striking someone physically is considered an offense.”
“Yes… your point?” Shego’s foot began to circle impatiently.
“But yesterday you struck Kim… is that appropriate behavior?” Norkie asked, his eyes wide.
“I nev-” she paused as her body tensed. When she relaxed, she went on. “I didn’t hurt Kim yesterday.”
“But you hit Kim’s rear.”
Realization dawned in Shego’s green eyes. “Oh that. Wait…where were you?”
“On the couch,” Norkie replied calmly.
She sighed. “All this goody-goody crap must be making me soft. Yes, I did smack her ass. It was an affectionate gesture.”
“Affectionate? Oh…” Norkie thought about it while Shego went back to her paper.
The next day Norkie, Shego and Kim were over at Shego’s place. Their mission: clean!
Shego had her long, black hair pulled into a braid and was wearing one of Kim’s old shirts and a pair of old jeans with holes in the knees. A purple bandana pulled back Kim’s red hair, her shirt matched the bandana and a pair of tight jean shorts graced her hips. Norkie only had on a pair of baggy jeans that Felix had loaned him. The A.I. preferred the least amount of clothes that he could get by in.
Norkie was busy moving furniture when he noticed Shego was bent over, straining to reach a rag that had fallen behind a small table. Norkie grinned, stopped what he was doing and moved to her side to assist.
“Can I help?” he asked politely.
“No. Go away, Norkie,” Shego growled, stretching herself out as far as possible.
Norkie shook his head in exasperation and gently smacked Shego’s ass.
Time seemed to freeze for a minute. Kim had dropped the box she’d been carrying, shocked at what she’d just witnessed. Shego skipped the shock and disbelief and moved right on to boiling anger. Flames danced in her emerald eyes as she slowly turned to stare at the confused A.I.
While he didn’t know what he did, Norkie did know what that look meant. He scrambled back, knowingthat he was going to die. Shego moved suddenly, faster than any normal human could see. Luckily, Norkie wasn’t human and managed to dodge and run for his life. Shego was right on his heels slashing at him, her fists already engulfed in her trademark fire.
Norkie squeaked and fled past a fallen Kim. Apparently the red head saw Shego’s reaction and her knees had buckled from the force of her laughter.
“Kim! Help me!” he screeched, circling the teen and making sure to keep her between Shego and himself. Though Kim was still red faced with tears streaming down her face, she made a valiant effort to stand and protect the hapless A.I.
“S-Shego! Quit-” she paused between laughs. “that!”
Shego became tired of the little game and swiped Kim’s legs out from under her, then proceeded to leap over her and pounce on Norkie. He made a sound surprisingly like a squawk and moved out of the way of her burning claws once more.
Spotting a window on the other side of the room, Norkie sprinted towards his last chance at life. He stumbled and nearly fell over the couch arm in his hasty exit and felt a sharp stabbing pain on his ass and knew Shego had gotten him. This only fueled his desperation more as he scrambled for that window. Not pausing to think, Norkie launched himself through the window, covering his head against the glass shards. When he hit the ground, he rolled and continued to keep running, fearing that Shego would come after him through the window.
Norkie came back to reality and shot Dementor a dirty look. The genius was wiping the tears from his eyes, still chuckling.
“It wasn’t my fault!” he pouted. He rested his chin on his arm and tried tugging against the cuffs again. He sighed and stared at the far wall. He knew that the cuffs wouldn’t break. They were a new invention of Dementor’s. Not the handcuffs, but the metal itself. Dementor gloated about it earlier while Norkie tuned him out.
“You might as well just lay there, you’re not going to get away,” Dementor pointed out. “I made some adjustments since your last encounter with my metal. Now it can withstand anything you put it through.”
Norkie blinked. “But I’ve never…” Then it clicked. “You were with all the villains when they all decided to go against both Kim and Shego.” He grinned. “Dumb idea, by the way.” His face turned somber as the wheels in his head turned. “You set up the trap. It was Monkey Fist as the bait, but YOU made the metal room.” Norkie’s jaw clenched. “You better pray to your inferior god that I can’t break these restraints.” Fury blazed in his green gaze as he lowered his head back down to his arm. He refused to move or talk to the man working on him. Norkie fumed in outrage for awhile. How dare he! How dare any of them? Kim and Shego had been content to leave the villains alone for the time being. In fact, they had been so caught up with each other that they didn’t even seem to be aware of the outside world! But they couldn’t just leave them alone, could they? Norkie opened his mouth but bit his tongue, preventing another outburst when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye.(2)
He ran a scan for heat signatures and found he was right. They weren’t alone. Norkie relaxed his body, making sure not to alert Dementor of the newcomer’s presence.
The figure lurking in the shadows must have noticed Norkie watching because it paused and leaned forward into the light just enough for Norkie to make out Felix’s face.
Norkie blinked in confusion. Felix was the last person he expected to find attempting a rescue. He had been expecting Kim or even Shego, maybe Ron… but certainly not Felix. He scanned the room for Ron, but found no one else present. He felt the heat signatures of Dementor’s guards in the next room, but no Ron. Huh. So what had driven Felix away from his friends and to try to save him?
Dementor finished working on Norkie and stood up, replacing his tools on the small table beside him.
“Now that I’m done repairing the damages, I suppose a thank you is in order…” Dementor smirked down at the A.I. Norkie grinned up at him mischievously, his eyes sparkling.
“Thanks!” he told the scientist as he closed his eyes and visualized his original form. Wires crawled upwards over his body until he wasn’t visible anymore and his form began to shrink rapidly, releasing him from his bonds. When he shrunk to a little bigger than someone’s fist, the wires became absorbed back into his body and he seemed to sprout fur. Finished with his transformation, he was back to his lovable, little green fur ball self. Two large green eyes peered upward at Dementor.
“Damn you, you demented fur ball!” Dementor screamed. “Get him!” he yelled at the henchmen who had entered the room at their employer’s yelling. Norkie did his morphing act again now that he was free, but was interrupted by the guards reaching him sooner than expected. One of them grinned, thinking they had caught him unprotected. His eyes widened as wires shot from Norkie’s rapidly forming body and wrapped around his neck and held him off the ground, slowly strangling him. More wires knocked two more off their feet. The two remaining men looked from Norkie to each other and fled. Norkie dropped the man he’d been holding up and his body solidified into its human shape. The man crawled away, coughing and sputtering.
“Damn perverted robots…” he choked out as Norkie blinked at him.
“What?”
“Go rape somebody on your own time!” the guard growled back.
“I didn’t… rape you,” Norkie paused to research the term.
“You’re a tentacle rapist!” he nearly screamed.
Norkie obviously didn’t understand.
“You’re sick,” Felix said coming out of the shadows, a disgusted look on his face.
“What is…tentacle rape?” Norkie asked the brown haired teen. Felix just shook his head.
“Wrong,” he replied. Norkie looked more confused.
“Well now that your nice little chat is over…?” Dementor spoke up, standing up from behind the examiner table Norkie had vacated. “Do you mind if I take back what is mine?”
“Dementor, look around. You lost!” Felix exclaimed.
“Really now? DO you honestly think I have only a handful of men at my disposal?” Dementor scoffed. Felix and Norkie pressed their backs to each other as henchmen poured into the room from all the doors.
“Okay, perhaps I should have stayed where I was,” Felix murmured under his breath. “Norkie,” he addressed the A.I. “Can you take them?”
“I don’t know,” Norkie answered calmly. Felix looked at Norkie from the corner of his eye. He had to look up a little to meet Norkie’s green gaze. The A.I. regarded him quietly, his body at ease.
“How the hell can you be so calm?” he hissed at him.
“Would it help if I panicked?” he asked.
“…No.”
“Then why does it surprise you that I am not?”
Felix shook his head. “Nevermind.”
All attention was turned to Dementor when he yelled, “Get-”
He was cut off abruptly when a loud wailing noise could be heard. Felix’s brow furrowed. He recognized the sound but couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. Dementor cocked his head to the side, trying to zero in on where it was coming from. Even the henchmen were looking around to see what it was. The wail intensified by the second, coming closer. Felix glanced at the tall and very naked, he noticed, Norkie beside him. He remained as impassive as ever. Not at all bothered by the odd noise.
There was a loud bang and a blue fell from the ceiling onto the hooded professor.
“Ow…” Ron groaned and rubbed his forehead, seemingly unaware of what he just landed on.
“What’s wrong with YOU! Are you some kind of defected human being or something?” Dementor screamed at the blond boy.
“Huh?” Ron was completely oblivious. Felix hook his head in exasperation. The motion caught Ron's eye and he turned to focus on his friends.
“Hi guys!” He brightened, then frowned. “What are you guys doing here?” Dementor took his moment of distraction to throw Ron off of him. He scrambled to his feet and glared at the three men.
“They were just about to be captured,” Dementor answered Ron.
Ron blinked. “Oh. by the way… where did you buy Zuma?”
“Who is Zuma?” Dementor inquired, confusion written all over his face.
“You know…” Ron reached behind him to unclip Zuma from his belt. He shoved the yellow and green stuffed frog in Dementor's face. “Zuma!”
Dementor paled and gaped. “How did you get that!” he snapped, grabbing for the frog that Ron held just out of reach. It looked rather comical having Dementor follow Ron around the room. “And his name is NOT Zuma! It's Theodore!” Dementor snatched at the stuffed animal.
“Zuma!” Ron yelled back stubbornly.
“Theodore!”
“Zuma!”
“Theodore!”
“Mine's easier to say!”
“So!”
“ENOUGH!” Felix screamed at the two of them. “Quit acting like three year olds!” Ron wilted under Felix's anger. While Ron's attention was captured, Dementor attempted to steal back his precious frog. A laser blast missed his face by an inch but took out a chunk of the concrete wall behind him. Dementor froze mid-grab. All eyes turned to Norkie.
The A.I. lowered his arm, the laser disappearing back into his arm. His green gaze rested on Ron, who clutched the frog to his chest.
“Ron,” Norkie's voice rang out deep and calming into the silence. “Give me the frog.”
Ron shook his head vehemently.
“Please Ron, give me Zuma. I'll give him back.” Norkie held out a hand for the frog. Ron had his arms wrapped so tightly around the stuffed creature that Felix was glad the poor thing wasn't alive.
“Ron,” Norkie said firmly, a hint of steel in his voice, a dangerous glint in his green eyes.
Ron sighed in defeat as he slowly handed Norkie the frog.
“Now,” Norkie said loudly, turning his eyes to Dementor. “We will begin negotiations.”
“What!” Dementor cried out in astonishment. “You think you can negotiate with me in my own lair while the three of you are surrounded by my guards?”
Norkie didn't reply. He held up the stuffed animal in one hand as a laser appeared on his arm, pointing at the frog. He narrowed his eyes at Dementor.
“Like I said… We'll begin negotiations now.” Norkie's voice went dangerously low.
“Okay, okay!” Dementor squeaked. The henchment around them snickered at the sight of their boss willing to do anything to get back a toy. When Dementor glared and threatened to take off half their pay, the men suddenly decided this was serious business.
“We're leaving,” Norkie announced.
Dementor narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “And I get back Theodore once you leave?”
“Zuma!” Ron cried. “You said you'd give him back, Norkie!”
“We'll toss him-”
“You stay,” Dementor cut the A.I. off. “I didn't go to all this trouble to watch you leave.”
“Do you want the frog or not?” Norkie demanded.
Dementor straightened. “No. You stay.” Norkie stared at him and saw the uncertainty in the scientist's eyes. He decided to call his bluff. The laser disappeared off his arm and the smaller on rose from his wrist. He turned to aim directly at Dementor.
“Well I have nothing to lose then, huh?” Norkie's eyes glittered like emeralds.
Dementor looked worried. “All right, all right! You all leave, but give me back Theodore!”
“Deal.” Norkie backed up slowly, bumping into Felix and Ron, pushing them back.
“I can't believe our asses are being saved by a stuffed frog… You know I used to have a normal life before I met you guys?” Felix rambled as they backed slowly towards the exit.
“Yeah and if you never met Norkie then you'd still be in a wheelchair, so I wouldn't complain,” Ron told him. Felix grumbled. “And besides, Drakken has a stuffed animal he sleeps with too.”
Felix looked at him. “And how do you know this?”
Ron refused to look Felix in the eye. “I had a bad Christmas…”
“… I don't wanna know…”
As they neared the door, Norkie caught their eye, then flicked to the door before returning to them. Felix nodded, but Ron didn't even notice. They continued to back slowly. when they were almost there, Dementor stopped them.
“Now give me Theodore,” he ordered. Norkie moved his arm back to toss the frog to Dementor, but instead he whirled around and sprinted for the exit. Felix hooked his arm through Ron's and ran after Norkie, dragging Ron behind him.
“WaaAAH!” Ron yelled as he stumbled. After one look over his shoulder to see the amount of henchmen pursuing them encouraged by the enraged Dementor, Ron leapt to his feet and moved at an astonishing speed.
The three of them sped down the hallway, but paused when Felix pointed down the way Ron and he had come. Norkie shook his head.
“I know a better way!” Norkie insisted.
“You're going to get us lost!” Felix shouted obstinately.
Dementor's henchemen steadily got closer as the two glared at each other. Finally Norkie simply turned and ran the opposite direction Felix had pointed. Ron shot past Felix and ran after the A.I. Felix grumbled but ran after Norkie and his lover.
He quickly caught up to them and nearly ran over Ron. Norkie had paused at a four way junction of halls and stood in the center, pondering their next move.
Felix was breathing a little heavy, unused to the physical exertion on his legs.
“You're lost, aren't you?” Ron asked the A.I.
“No,” Norkie shot back defensively. “I'm thinking.”
“Well, take all the time you need. It's not like we have a hundred men riding our asses ordered to probably kill us.” Felix shrugged. “Of course not, because that would be crazy!”
Ron broke out into a fit of laughter.
“What?” Felix blinked.
“You said we had men riding our asses!” Ron wiped tears from his eyes.
Felix rolled his eyes. “Get walking, blondie!” He pushed Ron forward gently.
Norkie turned to the two boys. “That reminds me… about you two…”
“Will you please get us out of here first!” Felix yelled.
“Oh. Right. This way.” Norkie took the left hall and jogged on without a word.
“Are w-we almost there?” Ron asked him, panting audibly from the distance they'd ran.
“And… here!” They turned a sharp corner and found themselves at a stairway. Ron fell to his knees and wailed as he gripped Felix's arm, nearly toppling the brown haired boy. Felix gazed upward, his blue eyes traveling up the steps. He knew they were underground, but he hadn't really thought about having to go back up to ground level.
“Felix!” Felix's attention snapped back to reality. He stared down at the blond teen clutching at his arm with a pathetic expression on his face.
“Carry me! Please Felix!” Ron whimpered up at him.
Felix snorted. “I will not! Just be glad that you don't have to carry me AND a wheelchair up those stairs,” he pointed out. Not long ago, Felix wasn't sure if he could do a mission like this.
Ron gave up on Felix and crawled on his hands and knees towards the green haired A.I. He clawed at Norkie's leg, looking pitiful. Norkie just blinked his green eyes at Ron.
“Please carry me, Norkie! I'm not gonna make it!” Ron seemed oblivious to Norkie's nakedness and his particular position but Felix wasn't. Blue eyes narrowed as the scene in front of him continued.
Ron had abandoned Norkie's leg and latched onto his wrist. Norkie smoothly dragged the boy to his feet by lifting his arm. Ron seemed fascinated by the way his bicep had bulged under his weight.
“You know, I keep forgetting that you're stronger than everyone…” Ron murmured and poked Norkie's arm muscles.
“All right, that's enough.” Felix grabbed Ron by the back of his shirt and yanked him away from the A.I.
Norkie grinned. So that was why Felix never really warmed up to him. He was jealous. Of…? Well, if his suspicions were right, then Ron and Felix were a 'couple.' The way he reasoned it, if Kim was with Shego, in other words, a girl with a girl… then there must be relationships between two guys, right? He'd have to ask Shego that later… if she'd calmed down by now…
His grin grew wider as Norkie began to transform again. Ron stared at him, still transfixed by the way the wires flowed over him. Felix tapped his foot impatiently waiting for him to finish.
When he was done, he promptly leaped up four stairs and turned back to look at his friends expectantly. He easily jumped another four steps.
“Oh that is just NOT fair!” Ron cried. A bullet whizzed by his head and hit the wall, concrete and dust flying.
“AHHHHHHH!” he screamed at the top of his lungs and sped up the stairs, forgetting his earlier fatigue.
“Get back here, you thieves!” Dementor yelled, pocketing his weapon and running after them.
“Where the hell did he come from?” Felix panted, willing his legs to move faster.
Norkie trilled, and kept hopping up the steps. Ron froze.
“He talked!” Ron pointed a the green fuzzball in astonishment. He blinked down at the stuffed frog under his arm. Frasping it between his hands, Ron held it at eye level.
“Talk to me, Zuma!” he cried.
Felix grabbed his arm and dragged the blond boy further up the steps. “Norkie didn't talk, he make a noise! And stuffed animals don't even do that!” he growled.
They paused when a loud thump was heard behind them. Dementor was sprawled on the stairs, wheezing and panting.
“Give… me back…Theodore!” the scientist wheezed, a hand stretched out towards Ron, or rather, what Ron was holding.
“Just give him back the damn frog!” Felix rolled his eyes in exasperation.
Ron turned to him with tears in his eyes. “But Zuma and I have bonded!”
“He's not a part of our mission,” Felix pointed out. “Do you really want Dementor to track you down over a stuffed animal?”
“You guys! Let's MOVE!” Norkie yelled as he sprinted past them, running in the opposite direction back down the stairs in his humanoid form.
“When did he change back?” Felix wondered out loud.
Ron looked to see what he was running from. “YAHH!” he screamed and took off in the direction Norkie had run. Felix glanced up the stairs, sighed and ran after the other two. Guards in red uniforms were pouring down the stairs in an attempt to cut off their escape. Felix's legs were really beginning to ache.
“Guys,” he said when he caught up to them. “We rally have to get out of here. I don't know how much longer my legs will hold.”
“Same here,” Ron gasped for air. “You'd think after how many years of running away from bad guys, I'd be used to this…”
“We'll have to go straight up to the city instead of my original plan,” Norkie muttered.
“Does this new idea have any more stairs? Quite frankly, I'm ready to let the guards catch me this time,” Ron complained.
They didn't have to run very long because soon they came to an elevator. Norkie calmly pushed the button and waited. The boys stared at the A.I. incredulously.
“Why didn't you tell us there was an elevator?” Ron shrieked, leaning heavily on Norkie. Felix's pride was more insistent than the stabbing pain in his legs, so he leaned against the wall instead of hanging on the ever lively A.I.
Norkie shrugged as the doors slid open and they all piled in the elevator. “You never asked.”
Felix glared at him. “You're a sadist, aren't you?”
“What do you mean?” he blinked and brushed green hair out of his eyes.
“Why didn't you use the elevator before now?” Felix yelled, his frustration level increasing.
“Because it'd be easier for a ship to pick us up if we were outside the city,” Norkie explained.
“What ship!” Felix threw his hands up and spun around. “Unless Wade can pull something out of his computer-loving butt, then we're stuck here on our own!”
“But what about Shego's ship?”
“Wait a minute… Shego has a ship? When did she get that?” Felix blinked, brought back from his anger at this new information.
“A couple of months ago,” Norkie replied smugly.
At the smug look on the taller man's face, Felix felt his anger warming again. “It doesn't make a difference because she's not here to send it to us, is she?”
“She doesn't have to be. I’ll send her a message when we get up to ground level,” the A.I. stated matter of factly.
“It won't work, Shego's gone,” Felix sighed.
“What?”
“She went missing. That's why Kim isn't here; she went after Shego,” Felix said softly.
“But… why would she want to leave?” Norkie blinked at him with big round eyes, a bewildered quality in his expression. Felix had to push down a surge of sympathy for the A.I. Norkie may have a computer for a brain, be stronger, faster… but he isn't perfect, Felix realized. He may be to pof the line technology, but he doesn't have the experience of what a human goes through. In some respects, he's the perfect man, but he could change to the mentality of a five year old in mere seconds. A five year old in an indestructible, powerful body. Felix winced. That could be a very dangerous combination.
“Look,” Felix started with a sigh. “Do you trust Kim?”
“Of course. I don't trust anyone more. Except Shego… No, Shego likes to cause mischief and I wouldn't put it above her to stir up trouble, even with me. But not Kim, she's too honest-”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then trust her to work it out and find Shego.” Felix rubbed his temples, fighting off a headache.
“Of course, if anyone could do it, it's Kim… But she IS only a teenager trying to track down the greatest supervillain on the planet.”
“Norkie?”
“Yes?”
“Quit thinking so hard.”
“Of course.”
The doors slid open revealing darkness. Felix froze. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but that wasn't it. he could hear Ron stumbling around, bumping into things.
“Norkie?” Felix breathed.
“Hold on,” he murmured back and Felix felt him move. Light flooded into the room, blinding Felix and Ron. From the boxes, rolled up rugs and other various things stacked on either side of the room and in front of them, they appeared to be in a warehouse. Wordlessly, Norkie led the way through the maze of boxes to the door on the other side. Before the Ai.I could open the door, he felt a hand rest over his ribs and another on his arm. He glanced over at Ron sideways.
“He's not hitting on you, relax!” Felix told him with an exasperated sigh.
Ron blinked at the two of them. “I wasn't-”
“We know,” Felix answered. Norkie still hadn't moved since Ron touched him. The blond boy shrugged and continued touching all over Norkie's torso.
“Life is just not fair…” he groaned.
“What?” Norkie grinned at him, already guessing at where this was headed.
“You don't sweat, do you?” Ron asked him, shoulders slumped. Felix just shook his head.
“Nope!” Norkie said happily, his grin getting wider.
“Do you at least get tired?” Felix inquired.
“Well, my systems CAN overheat, but the amount of exertion that I'd have to go through-”
“Just, just… open the door,” Felix ordered in a feeble attempt to stop the ramblings of the A.I.
Norkie did as he was told and pushed the door outward. Light shone down from high above and the first thing the trio noticed was the heat. it pressed around them at all angles like being wrapped in a blanket.
“Eww…” Ron made a disgusted face and pawed at the air. “Sticky.”
“Aw, and here I figured you'd like that,” Felix drawled with a grin, pushing Ron outside gently. Ron recovered from the soft shove quickly and tried to look suave and cool, buffing his nails on his shirt.
“Well, it's not like I haven't been in a sticky situation bef-oomph!” he was cut off abruptly when he tripped over his own feet and landed face down in the dirt.
“You're so smooth when you want to be, do you know that?” Felix chuckled and helped Ron out of his sprawl.
Norkie blinked at them. “What-”
“Don't ask,” they said in unison, waving him off.
“In that case, should we perhaps find a place to stay until we devise a plan?” Norkie questioned.
“Yes! And the Ron-man can get some lovin' from some mexican girls!” Ron rubbed his hands together in anticipation. he wilted when he felt a hard gaze intently drilling its way through him. Ron slowly looked sideways, and met Felix's blue eyes. “I-uh, erm… Ow!” he yelled as Felix smacked the back of his head. “It's a force of habit!”
“Are we not in Puerto Rico?” Norkie blinked in confusion.
“Yes, we are, Norkie. Ron just doesn't have a clue that Puerto Rico is different from Mexico,” Felix pointed out to the A.I.
“Well, everyone speaks spanish, what's the difference?” Ron squeaked, still rubbing the back of his head.
“Um, Norkie?” Felix said, ignoring Ron's comment.
“Yes?”
“We need to get you some clothes.”
“Yeah,” Norkie nodded, looking down at his body. “Why don't I just change back?”
Felix blinked and nodded in agreement. A few seconds later, Felix's wrist sprouted a green furball and they walked out onto the main road.
Stands of food, clothing and other accessories were placed on either side of the dirt road in front of a few buildings. There were a lot of people walking to their various destinations. Ron, being a pale blond boy, stood out like a sore thumb amongst the native hispanics. Tourists were easily spotted, though there weren't as man y out as expected. The fiery sun and humid summer weather had pushed them to stay inside their rooms with their fans.
“Just a thought… does anyone know how to speak spanish? Or have any money for that matter?” Felix thought out loud.
“Sure I do,” Ron said, scanning the crowd.
“Really?” Felix skeptically asked, staring at the blond boy. Ron grinned and winked at a passing woman.
“Hola senorita!” he remarked, slicking back his hair.
“Is that the extent of your spanish abilities?”
“Yup.”
Felix slapped his forehead. “Great…” he looked down at the furry Norkie. “Come on All Knowing Great One, please tell me you have a spanish dictionary locked away somewhere in that brain…”
Norkie's eyes narrowed, but he finally nodded.
“Okay, so our first order of business is getting Norkie some clothes so he can translate,” Felix announced as he looked for the nearest clothing stand. He paused when Norkie jumped off his wrist and landed on the ground to stare at Ron intently.
“What?”
The little A.I. leaped onto Ron's pants and disappeared into his pocket. A second later a green fuzzy meteor shot from Ron's pocket and hit a wall nearby. Rufus poked his head out of his pocket, chittering madly.
“Wow, sorry buddy, I'm sure he didn't mean to invade your pocket,” Ron said and put Rufus back. when he pulled his hand back out, it brushed against something cool. Ron grabbed it and took it out. The communicator's black screen stared back at him.
“You killed it, Ron,” Felix said dryly, looked at the scuffed up object.
“No I didn't, it still works,” Ron replied stubbornly. Then it dawned on him. “Ohh, that's what Norkie was trying to tell us! Oh no, Norkie!” Ron wailed and knelt down next to the tiny A.I. laying on the ground. “Nooooo! He was such a lovably little A.I.!” he cried picking the ball of green fur up. He promptly dropped it, clutching at his hand.
“He bit me! I don't believe it, he bit me!” shrieked Ron. Norkie stood back up on his stubby little feet and he glared, his eyes burning like Shego's trademark, at Ron.
“I take back anything nice I've ever said about you,” Ron sniffed. Felix grabbed his hand and kissed his bitten finger.
“You're fine, Ron. Norkie…” He held out his arm for Norkie to hop on. “Let's go because I want to get out of this god forsaken heat!”
1.) Rysha: This is one of the best methods around to getting what you want. And it's so affective. The next best method of course though is blackmail!
Rin: smirks Yeah, it IS a good method, huh? O.o And you wouldn't know ANYTHING about blackmail, would you?
2.) Rysha: Just to make things clear incase some got the wrong idea. Norkie loves both Kim and Shego but it's a family love. He is like a son to them. No three ways cuz it is sick and wrong.
Rin: Um, yeah, what she said.
Author Note 2
Basically I wanted to explain the whole Zuma-frog thing. Zuma is a friend of ours, and Rysha told her sister once that he used a yellow and green spotted frog as a makeout toy… and she believed it… O.O Wow. Anyway, I had to put it in here. My little inside joke. Hah.