“J-Joss?” Kim whispered.
Joss moved like lightning, spinning on her heel, grabbing the makeshift hatchet back off the ground and hurling it in Kim’s direction. Kim screamed as the club lodged in the wall, mere inches from her head.
“STOP, JOSS! STOP!” Kim screeched, rushing into the dingy hallway light.
“I’LL STOP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD, PARDNER!” Joss hurled a vicious forearm – which Kim blocked. “Huh? WHOAH!” Kim drew Joss near enough so she could see her face properly. “K-Kim?”
“Yes, Joss, it’s me.” Kim looked at her, eyes as earnest as could be.
Joss wasn’t convinced, taking a menacing step back and glaring. “How do I know you’re the real Kim?”
“She is,” said Shego, stepping into the squalid light.
“Shego!” Joss shoved Kim out of the way and ran for the makeshift hatchet again.
Kim barreled after her - catching her before Joss could snatch the weapon. “JOSS! STOP! WHAT-”
“-is goin’ on here, Kim? Ya’ got your archenemy standin’ next to ya’ and ya’ ain’t killed her yet?”
“What? No, Joss, I haven’t!”
“Well, why the hell not? She’s standin’ right there! What, ya’ too good to take a hatchet to her face?”
“I – What? Yes! I’m good! That’s why I haven’t killed her yet, Joss!”
“Hey! Lil’ Kim! Eyes over here, babe!” Shego whistled. Confused, Joss pointed at herself. “Yeah, you! Walker, Kimmie Ranger. Get that hatchet and let me give you the reason why she hasn’t killed me yet.”
“Shego!” sputtered Kim, holding Joss back with one hand, frantically waving the other hand in protest.
“Just let her do this, Kimmie. This is your cousin you wanted to be original? Then don’t try to stop her.”
About to snap at Shego yet again, Kim suddenly yelped as Joss bit her hand, involuntarily letting her cousin go. Joss wrenched the razor wire hatchet out of the wall and turned, charging Shego with a furious battle cry–
In the blink of an eye, Shego was holding the girl upside-down by her ankle with one hand, and had the hatchet in her other hand. With a quick FLASH of her green energy flames, the hatchet ceased to exist. She brought Joss’ face up close to her. “That, my dear, is the reason why Kimmie hasn’t killed me yet. Also, take a good look at our arms, little Miss Oakley. If you’ll notice, they aren’t exactly symmetrical.”
“Oof!” Joss grunted as Shego dropped her. She looked at the women’s arms as she picked herself up and dusted off. “Y’know, you kin’ always kill her, chop yer arm offa’ her, and reattach it to yer body, Kim.”
“Joss, what? No! I am not going to kill her! Why do you keep saying I should kill her?”
“Cuz yer’ my cousin, Kim! You kin’ do anythang! Yer’ just gunna let yer’ archenemy run around this place with you, when she could turn around and slice those claws of hers through yer’ gut at any time?”
Shego chuckled. “Y’know, I’m beginnin’ to like this kid. A lot like me when I was her age, Kimmie.”
“Shut the fuck up, Shego.”
“Whoah – temper… and did my ears decieve me, or did I just hear Widdle Pwincess say a bad woid?”
“Oh, fuck you…” Kim growled, partially calming herself down as she turned her attention back to Joss. “Joss, being able to do anything…It - it doesn’t mean I should just do something simply because I can.”
“Yes it does.”
“SHUT UP, SHEGO!”
“Shego’s yer’ enemy, Kim! Why are ya’ lettin’ her hang around you like this? Ya’ just can’t trust her-”
“JOSS, LISTEN TO ME!” Kim snapped angrily, shaking her cousin semi-violently by the shoulders. “SHE ISN’T EACTLY HERE OF HER OWN FREE WILL, EITHER! YOU THINK SHE WANTS TO BE HERE, STUCK WITH ME? YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HERE, STUCK WITH HER? SHE HASN’T DONE ANYTHING TO ME THIS TIME! I’M NOT GOING TO ATTACK ANYONE - MUCH LESS, KILL THEM - WHEN THEY HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG! STOP ASKING ME WHY I HAVEN’T KILLED HER, BEACUSE I AM NOT GOING TO KILL HER!” Her face changed into one of worry as she looked at Joss. “C’mon, now, Joss – what’s gotten into you?”
“What’s gotten into me? What’s gotten into you, Kim? Ya’ ain’t exactly actin’ like yerself, here, either!”
“I KNOW!” Kim’s retaliated, tears edging forth. “I just woke up this morning to see my arm chopped off with the blood vessels tied and my mom holding the severed arm! Next, I woke up with Shego’s arm attached to me, saw my dad bite a chunk of flesh out of my mom’s neck - then watched the Tweebs get blown apart by a bomb and you hack Nana’s head off! I’m sorry if I’m trying not to lose my head here!”
Joss looked at Kim after the outburst was over, her lip trembling.
In a flash, the two were embracing tearfully. “Kim - what do we do?” asked Joss.
“We get out of here, Joss.” Sighing, Kim looked back at Shego. “We all get out of here.”
“Shouldn’t we, y’know – keep moving, then?” Shego questioned.
“Actually, I wouldn’t take that advice, Kimmie-cub.”
“Dad?” Kim gasped.
“Yep. I’d stay where you are.”
Kim clenched her fists. “Why? Whoah!” she cried as the floor shot forward, through another door, and straight into darkness. Slowly, lights in rows turned on, illuminating the massive room they had entered. Giant screens in the room turned on, each one showing a different news broadcast.
“Despite all attempts - including simultaneously issuing a nationwide AMBER Alert here in the USA and in England on that country’s similar Child Rescue Alert system, authorities are nowhere near closer to discovering just what has happened to teen hero Kim Possible and a number of her high school classmates and neighbours in the partially sleepy city of Middleton-”
“Teen hero Kim Possible: Missing in action?”
“-and he said, quote, “This is not just about finding Ms. Possible. This is about finding half the population of the city. Middleton’s officers are dedicated. We won’t rest till she’s found – just like Ms. Possible wouldn’t rest until she found one of us, were they missing. “ Jon?”
“-several of the criminals Ms. Possible has captured were discovered missing as well…”
The newsfeeds died, replaced by Mr. Possible.“I told you, Kimmie-cub. You should listen to your father - even if his DNA has been taken over mostly by man-eating piranha DNA.”
“Dad…” Kim snarled, the venom in her voice usually only reserved for confronting Shego and Drakken. “What deathtrap room have you put us in this time, Dad? A pendulum pit? A gas chamber? Latin class?”
“Whoah…Chill down there, Kimmie-cub. I think it’s time everyone got a little break…”
“Just how many people besides us three are here, Dad?” queried Kim.
“Well, that’s what I was thinking…After all that chaos, I might as well let everyone collect their senses, know who else is here with them - and who was in here, but didn’t make it past those first tests of mine.”
Three of the screens switched views. Kim stared in terrified shock as the screens were now showing the survivors in three other rooms: The first room held Dr. Director, Adrena Lyn, Mr. Barkin, and Sensei. The 2nd room, Señor Senior Jr. and Tara. But it was the 3rd room on which Kim was focused. “RON!”
“KIM?” Ron looked up. “KIM! Oh, thank god! I almost thought you were d - but I refused to believe!”
Kim smiled tearfully. “Thank you, Ron…”
“Ugh – please don’t get sappy on me, Princess…”
“I’m ignoring you, Shego…”
“Kim!” yelled Tara, looking at her friend on the screen. “What the hell is going on?”
“Who’s there?” Junior turned, hearing Tara. “What? You mean there has been hot babe in the room with me for all this time - and I didn’t even notice? Well, I have definitely noticed her now! So, sweetcakes - since everyone seems to be dying here, why don’t we just, y’know-” he advanced towards the blonde.
“Get away from me, you overbuff Latino freak!” screamed Tara, kicking him in the crotch. She grabbed the blaster he dropped as he fell to the ground shrieking in pain, and ran. “Somebody get me outta here!”
“I knew it. James Possible, you sorry son of a-”
“Don’t mean to be rude, Dr. Director, but I’d say it’s time everyone knows who’s not with us anymore.”
With that, the screens changed, showing pictures simultaneous with Mr. Possible reading down the list. “Officer Hobble, Agent Smith, Agent Smith, Wade Load, Mrs. Possible, Jim and Tim Possible, Rufus, Ronald’s cousin Shawn, Mr. and Mrs. Stoppable, Hope, Maggie, Liz, Crystal, Marcella, Yori, Slim Possible, Nana Possible, Kim’s cousin Larry, Justine Flanner, Dr. Vivian Porter, Monkey Fist, DNAmy, Brick Flagg, Bonnie Rockwaller, Monique, Professor Dementor, Will Du, Prince Wally, Felix Renton, Motor Ed, Mrs. Rockwaller, Josh Mankey, Frugal Lucre, Team Impossible, Gemini, and his dog Pepe.”
The images moved to a grid on one screen. “I’ll leave these up so everyone can look at them on their own.”
“EDDIE?” screamed Mrs. Lipksy. “Now listen here, Mr. Possible – you need some serious counseling!”
“Oh-ho, that I do, Mrs. Lipsky,” Mr. Possible chuckled.
“So what’s in the bag this time, Mr. Possible?” growled Shego.
“I’m not doing anything. I’m going to show you all something that could save you from the fate most likely to befall you, have that Sensei person explain the complicated backstory – then sit back and watch the true psychological portion of my tests unfold.”
“Show us something that could save us?”
“I’m sure most of you have heard of this?” The screen changed, to a snake fang encased in a jade shell.
Shego stared, knowing exactly what it was.
“The Jade Fang of Kara!” gasped Drakken. “It’s real!”
“The Jade Fang of Kara?” Sensei watched Ron ask the villain on the screen. “What’s that do?”
“According to legend, it makes you immortal!” squealed Drakken.
“Immortal?” Barkin raised an eyebrow. “I like the sound of that.”
Junior stopped chasing Tara and spun around. “Immortal?”
Ron wasn’t convinced. “And what’s Sensei gotta do with the whole thing?”
“Sensei knows the story of The Jade Fang of Kara – and he’ll tell you the whole long spiel – right?” asked Mr. Possible, back onscreen.
“I will not tell the story of The Jade Fang of Kara. It is all a trick to get you all to kill each other.”
Barkin looked at him – and charged. Sensei barely flinched before calmly stepping aside and tripping him. Barkin lunged for him again – but this time Sensei waited…then ran up Barkin’s face and head, jumping down behind the man. One more time, Barkin lunged – but this time Sensei floated into the air.
“Hey, no fair!” called Barkin.
“All’s fair in war, Barkin-sensei. I’m sure you know that – ARRRGGH!” Sensei grimaced as an energy beam slammed into him. On the screen, Mr. Possible grinned. Fighting its power, Sensei found he could not – and was soon he was pinned on the ground, Barkin stamping his foot on his face and standing over him holding a bloodied shovel.
“Oh, you’re going to tell us the whole story, Sensei…san – or this shovel’s goin’ through yer’ brain…”
Sensei sighed. “It appears I have but no choice to explain in great detail the story of the Jade Fang of Kara. Very well. The Mystical Monkey Articles tell of two snake sisters – bound not by blood of family, but rather, blood of oath. Raised by a wise but sly foxess who taught her the art of silent thievery, Kara was expelled from the lair, all ties with the foxes destroyed in one night, after she killed all in Shia’s village when her plot to steal a valuable royal jewel went awry. Stealing away the young Shia before she could see the true carnage, Kara fed the young snake woman a lie, saying she was Shia’s lost sister who had ventured on a journey of the soul, and had returned to find everyone dead but her. Kara proceeded to trick Shia into signing an oath of honour in her own blood – ensuring loyalty from her no matter what. Afterwards, Kara quickly formed an army from disgraced soldiers found wandering throughout the lands. They operated within the shadows, instilling great fear amongst all of those who spoke its name: The Jade Army. A terrifying force on the battlefield, and a ruthless, unforgiving torturer of prisoners off, Kara’s green scales became permanently red over time, stained with all the blood she viciously spilled.”
Barkin scowled. “Ok, maybe you should just skip to the part everybody’s gonna care about.”
“I am afraid I cannot do that now, Barkin-sensei. To hear only the beginning of the story of The Jade Fang is to know only a portion of The Jade Fang. Besides, I am now firmly set in my storytelling mode.”
“Uh, yeah, Mr. B., you’re gonna have to listen to the whole spiel now. Trust me on this, once Sensei gets goin’ in storytelling mode, the dude will not stop! Missed all 3 meals at Yamanouchi once cuz of that…”
“Fine, whatever…” huffed Barkin. “Proceed, old man.”
Sensei nodded. “Extraordinarily possessive, Kara was quick to jealousy of anyone who befriended Shia. What friends Shia had, they did not stay friends for long, always driven away by Kara’s possessive rage. Shia became very lonely. She wanted freedom for herself, but she could not turn her back on the one with whom she had signed a blood oath all those long years ago. But, one night, after losing yet another friend to her sister’s jealousy, Shia tearfully fled - so unable to bear staying in the same house with Kara any longer, she was willing to go so far as to break that oath. Believing Shia had been taken in the night, Kara became furious, and raged across the lands, razing city after city. She took to wearing a jade burial suit to further instill fear as The Jade Army leveled everything in their path - so determined was she to bring her sister back to her. Shia, meanwhile, fled and fled further. Eventually, her tired scales reached the distant village of Yamanouchi. Given audience with the leader of the village, she explained her situation and for shelter so she could rest. Having been deceived by Kara many years earlier, the leader of Yamanouchi was more than willing to oblige, despite knowing the village would come under attack.”
He paused again. “Well, Sensei? Are you going to finish?” asked Barkin.
“It would be much easier to do this if your foot were not on my face and I could breathe properly.”
Barkin sighed, picking his foot up and letting Sensei stand up. “You’re a lucky man, Sensei.”
“We shall see about my luckiness in future time, Barkin-sensei. Now, to continue with the story: The village, a proud village of mighty Mystical Monkey Kung-Fu warriors, also bitter about Kara’s deception long ago, proudly gathered around to defend the snake sister. They asked the gods to help their cause out. But it was here they came upon a dilemma: The gods were not at all kind to Shia as had been hoped. She had entertained the thought of breaking a blood oath – a most grievous of crimes. However, the gods were not without balance, and saw the reason why Shia had entertained such thoughts. After much deliberation, they finally came to a conclusion: Shia had to face her sister in battle alongside the warriors of Yamanouchi. However, there was a task only she could perform that would release her from her blood oath: She had to break off both of Kara’s fangs whislt Kara was wearing the jade burial suit.- but she had to do so without damaging the jade around Kara’s fang in any way. Were Shia to succeed in this attempt, she would be free from her blood oath. Were she to fail by not breaking off either fang or damaging the jade, Shia would have to return to Kara’s side. Were she to break one fang off whilst keeping the jade intact – then the blood oath would be lifted, but she would have to live with the knowledge that she had doomed Kara to be forever trapped in her own tooth, between the fields of life & death. Shia heeded their words, and earnestly prepared for the approaching battle. During those preparations, Shia fell for Jasmine, a Yamanouchi warrior woman. Jasmine helped Shia master Monkey Kung-Fu, as Shia taught Jasmine the vicious Strikes of the Snake. The two were aided by the blonde Yamanouchi General, jokingly called ‘Stoppable’ for everyone being able to defeat him in sparring.”
“Stoppable?”
“Yes, Ron. Your ancestor. It was not that this General was not worthy to fight – it was just he refused to use his true warrior prowess off the battlefield. The other Yamanouchi warriors knew this – and despite his tendency for clumsiness, they looked upon the General to bravely lead them into any battle fought. The time came soon enough, as The Jade Army was finally spotted ascending the mountain upon which Yamanouchi was perched. Kara slithered forth, demanding Shia return to her side. Shia refused – and The Jade Army attacked. The battle was incredibly fierce, with both sides being quite evenly matched. Many warriors, snake and Yamanouchi alike, lost their lives. Near the end of the fight, Shia, Stoppable, and Jasmine executed their plan to break off Kara’s fangs. Shia and Stoppable charged headlong at the snake sister, Stoppable dispelling anyone in his path away with his mystical Lotus Blade, Shia swiping anyone away with her tail. Noticing them, Kara gleefully charged – and it was then Jasmine leapt out of the melee behind them all and lodged her sword into the only exposed part of Kara’s tail. Kara shrieked and swirled around – as Shia coiled up her tail to take strike at her sister’s fangs. But as Shia unleashed her attack on her sister – Kara’s tail wrapped around Jasmine’s neck, twisting it to an awful SNAP! The fall of her lover made Shia partially lose her concentration – and she consequently broke only one of Kara’s fangs off. But the jade remained intact – and so the gods descended, released Shia from her blood oath – and trapped Kara within her own fang, unable to take foot completely within either life or death. And it is said that since then, anyone who possesses The Jade Fang of Kara possesses her imm-HRGK!”
Adrena Lyn screamed as Barkin shoved the shovel through Sensei’s heart. “Sorry, but I think that’s all I need to hear. Now tell me, Mr. Possible - how exactly are we gonna be able to reach this…Jade Fang?”
“Ah, Mr. Barkin – that’s the test. These rooms surround a central column. The Jade Fang of Kara is at the center of this column. If you can find your way to this column first, then you can, well, live forever.”
“But, not if we get to it first,” sneered Shego.
“What? Hmmph! I will find this Jade Fang first!” Junior protested.
“No, I will find the Jade Fang first!” snapped Drakken.
Mr. Possible sat back and watched, munching on another bag of chips.
END CHAPTER FOUR: ETHERIZED RESPITE
Author’s Note #2: Yes, that Jade Fang of Kara backstory is a combo of some of the main aspects of Mind, Body, and Soul by hobnobrev and A Few New Tricks by immo. But I believe I gave it enough of my own edge that it works whether or not you've read those stories - and plus, anytime I can reference two incredibly influential stories I've read:-D
-RavenStar