While possessed of many talents in a wide variety of fields, one thing Shego had never been particularly good at was patience. That, and she hated not knowing what was going on. The few times Dr. Drakken had planed something without letting her know the details had left her very much ticked, something she’d let the good doctor know about in no uncertain terms.
This time, though, it wasn’t Dr. D whom she was ticked at. No, it was her seeming inability to find out more about what was going on with her little princess.
When it came to Kim Possible, Shego had a very peculiar mindset. Oh, she hated the little cheerleader. She was perky, bubbly, and all-around too nice to stand. On the other hand Shego had never enjoyed fighting anyone quite the way she enjoyed fighting Kimmie. The little teenager challenged her in ways no one else could. Fighting her had done more to sharpen Shego’s skills than learning with a dozen different martial arts masters.
Shego had long ago resolved that the world as a more fun place with Kimmie in it. She wasn’t a killer, never had been, and constant threats to the contrary she would never do anything to permanently hurt the cheerleader. Or that doofus she kept as a sidekick, for that matter. On one or two occasions she had even kept Drakken from doing so. Not that the blue dolt was really competent enough to do it, anyway. Shego wanted Kimmie around, bottom line. At least until the day she grew tired of playing with her, then she’d beat the little snot into a bloody pulp and be done with the matter.
In rare moments of total honesty Shego would admit, to herself if no one else, that she couldn’t really be sure of accomplishing that last part, but that was the challenge of it.
Now, though, uncertainty had crept into Shego’s fun little world. It seemed Kimmie was no longer playing by the rules. Nearly killing a bank robber, even by accident? In all their battles she had never, not once, seen Kimmie pack anything that might resemble a lethal weapon. So why would she carry some kind of… whatever that weapon in the bank had been? Especially when only going up against run-of-the-mill criminals? It didn’t make any sense.
It didn’t help that she was unable to figure out where Kimmie was at the moment. After the incident at the bank she’d surrendered herself to the Go City Police, but she was no longer there. Thanks to some bribes in the right places Shego had learned that Kim had been released into the custody of her parents pending investigation and a possible trial. The man she’d hurt was still in the hospital, but stable.
Shego had travelled to Middleton, but Kimmie was neither at home, nor at school, nor at that Bueno Nacho place her and that buffoon sidekick seemed to hang out at all the time. Which left Shego at something of a loss.
“Usually you just turn up whenever I turn around,” she muttered to herself. “Why is it the one time I’m actually wanting you to show up, you keep your head down?”
She smelt something burning and saw that her left hand, which gripped the steering stick of the hoverpod she’d borrowed from Dr. D, was burning green. It was cooking the leather covering right off the stick.
“Damn it,” she cursed. One drawback of increasing power, she sniffed. She normally needed to be a lot more agitated before her plasma flames sprang to life without conscious effort.
Quickly putting out the small fire and thankful that she was still on the ground to think over her next move, Shego considered her options. What to do next?
A moment later she smiled. Oh yeah, she might have thought of that one sooner.
“Any sign?” Ron asked, feeling dead on his feet after chasing around the world twice in the last fourteen hours. Mostly he’d been chasing false leads about a certain green-skinned thief. Fourteen hours on his feet, tired beyond endurance, and nothing to show for it.
“No, I’m sorry,” Waid said, his sad face filling the screen of the Kimmunicator. “That green fire in Orlando was just a few new fireworks they wanted to try out and they overdid it a little. No Shego. Nothing.”
“Damn,” Ron cursed. “The one time I’m actually wanting to meet Shego, she doesn’t show. Isn’t there some take-over-the-world plot in the works that Drakken needs her to steal something for? Is that too much to ask?”
“Hold on,” Wade suddenly said, looking at another of his many computer screens. “Something just came in. Whoa…”
“What? What is it?”
“It appears someone up there likes you, Ron. Or maybe not. We have a Shego sighting.”
“Where?”
“Biggle-Jones’ Hypervelocity rail-gun,” Shego muttered. “Nah, already have one of those in the lair. Besides, Dr. D would only shoot himself in the foot with it.”
Going over to the next case, she checked out the label.
“Experimental fusion cannon,” she read. “Links up interdimensionally to a black hole to draw energy from. How can you draw energy from a black hole? Doesn’t that just suck everything in? Oh, brother!”
She’d spent the last five minutes going from crate to crate, checking out the various toys Global Justice had stored in one of its warehouses. Most of them had been taken from one crazy scientist or another, she knew. Some of Drakken’s toys were probably in here, too.
She’d known about this place for some time thanks to some contacts of hers, but had never felt the need to tell Dr. D about it. With his penchant for, how did he call it? Outsourcing, yes. With his penchant for outsourcing -stealing, really- all the work he was too lazy or not smart enough to do himself, he’d have her running errands to this place all the time.
The five guards GJ had stationed here hadn’t been a problem. She probably should write a complaint or something. A worldwide organisation dedicated to preserving law & order should protect these dangerous toys better. Things being as they were, anyone could come in here and just walk away with a death ray or something.
“Immobilizer Ray,” she read the next label. “Who comes up with this stuff?”
The sound of a body hitting the floor behind her made her swivel around. Just in time to see Ron Stoppable coming back to his feet after getting entangled in the rope line he had used to drop from the skylight.
“Oh great, it’s the buffoon.”
“Ron,” he told her, quite upset. “The name is Ron! Ron Stoppable! Why can’t anyone remember my name? We’ve been fighting for years.”
“Yeah, years,” the naked mole rat in his pocket emphasized.
“No, I’ve been fighting Kimmie for years, sidekick. So where is the princess? I’m anxious for my workout.”
Ron approached her with the air of a man walking toward the hangman’s noose. The rat was hiding its face behind its paws, apparently not wanting to look at the impending disaster.
“Look, Shego…”
“Don’t tell me you came alone,” she laughed, searching the warehouse for signs of the cheerleader. “Even you can’t possibly be that stupid.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, I keep telling myself that, but the evidence seems to suggest otherwise.”
Shego, quite fed up, launched a plasma blast at the sidekick. The blonde boy just managed to jump out of the way, but his attempt to roll through and land back on his feet was a failure at best. Shego stalked towards him.
“As thrilling as this conversation is,” Shego said, charging up another plasma blast, “I’m afraid I have better things to do. So unless little Kimmie decides to turn up after all in the next few seconds, I’m afraid you’ll spend the rest of the night in painful unconsciousness.”
Ron, seeing that she meant business, apparently decided to switch tactics. “KP won’t turn up tonight, Shego. She’s in deep trouble.”
“Oh?” Shego asked, interested. She kept the plasma blast ready, though. “And what kind of trouble would that be? Don’t tell me she’s still all torn up about nearly killing a guy. Boo-Hoo!”
“I guess asking whether you saw the news last night just got redundant.”
“Amazing detective skills, Stoppable. Now, unless you want a face full of plasma…”
“Kim’s in a bad way, Shego,” he said, trying to reach her. “Somehow she got a Go Glow and her powers… well, they seem rather similar to yours. Only she can’t control them.”
Shego didn’t show anything on her face, but inside her emotions were in turmoil. So what she had suspected but not dared to believe was true. The idea that the sidekick might be lying never occurred to her. Kim Possible, her little Kimmie, now had Go powers as well. Ones she couldn’t control. Ones she had used to almost kill a man. Shego really didn’t know whether to laugh or cry right now, so she did neither.
“Too bad for her,” she said coldly. “Looks like little Ms. Perfect can’t do anything after all, can she?”
“Yeah, I bet you’re having a field day about it, but that’s not why I’m here, Shego.”
She looked at the sidekick, at the look of determination on his face, and couldn’t help but laugh.
“Oh my God! You are here to ask me for help, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Ron whispered, forcing the word out.
“You are here because your little Kimmie can’t get a handle on the powers she’s suddenly saddled with and she needs my help. Is that right?”
“Yes,” Ron said again.
“And I guess my idiot brothers weren’t much of a help, were they? Otherwise you’d never have come to me.”
“Look, I think we both know what the drama is now,” Ron yelled, regretting his outburst a second later as Shego charged her plasma blast a little more. “Just sayin’. Please don’t hurt me!”
Shego seriously considered shouting ‘boo!’ at him, but thought better of it. Extinguishing her plasma flame, she leant back against a crate labelled ‘Death Crystal Ammunition’ and regarded him with amusement.
“Okay, sidekick! Entertain me! Why should I be the least bit interested in helping our little Kimmie get a handle on her powers? To me, this looks like an all-around sweet deal right now. Kimmie has put herself behind bars, all torn up over hurting a man, and I’m free to do as I please. Why should I help her and create an even stronger Kim Possible in the process?”
Ron slowly got to his feet, careful not to make any quick moves.
“Well, valid points all,” he admitted. “But correct me if I’m wrong -wouldn’t be the first time, either- but I always figured you were in this mostly for the kicks.”
“And what if I am?”
“Well, where’s the kicks in beating up second-rate security guards or helpless sidekicks?” He shrugged. “Way I see it, if KP’s not in the picture anymore, no one’s left to give you a run for your money. Boring life all around then.”
Once again Shego didn’t show anything on her face, but inside she flinched. Be it dumb luck or inspired insight, the sidekick had hit a nerve. To Shego, there was no fate worse than boredom.
“On the other hand,” Ron waved his other hand for emphasis, “imagine going up against KP when she has superpowers, too. You’d really have to work up a sweat to get away with your heists then. Oh sure, Drakken would have a hissy fit, but I think you’d enjoy it. Am I right? Am I?”
Oh yeah, she would. And Dr. D throwing a hissy fit would be a welcome bonus, too. She really enjoyed seeing him turn a slightly darker shade of blue whenever things didn’t work out quite the way he wanted do. Still, she’d be damned if she told the buffoon he’d hit it right on the money.
And speaking of money…
“Let’s assume you are correct,” she said, “for the sake of the argument, at least.”
“Naturally!”
“Even if -IF- I were interested in helping Kimmie get a grip on her little superpower booboo, I’m still a businesswoman. I don’t do things for free. And seeing how the pumpkin and you never charge for any of the do-gooder stuff you do, I really don’t see how…”
Ron surprised her by reaching into one of his pant pockets -hey, he hadn’t lost his pants once this whole time, that had to be a record- and taking out an envelope containing a thick bundle of cash. He threw it to Shego, who quickly caught it. Hundred dollar bills. Which meant she was holding at least 10,000 dollars in her hands.
“Lots’a money,” the pet chirped.
“Okay, colour me impressed,” she said.
“KP’s parents are well-off,” Ron just answered. “So, interested in working for the good guys for once? I promise we won’t tell Drakken!”
Shego seriously considered burning the money and throwing the remains in the buffoon’s face, but something held her back. She really didn’t want to be a good guy anymore, not even a paid good guy. Been there, done that, didn’t buy the T-shirt. Still, a criminal career without Kimmie Possible dogging her? That didn’t sound fun at all. No, definite lack of fun.
It really came down to one question: Did she or didn’t she want Kim Possible to be around in the future? The answer was pretty obvious, as much as she hated it.
“Okay, deal,” she finally said. “I’ll take a look at little Kimmie’s problem. No promises, though. No refund, either. And if I see a single cop or GJ agent anywhere, I’m gone and you’re toast, got it?”
“Totally.”
“Lead the way, McDumb!”
“Hey, I resent that!”
“Don’t push it, buffoon!”
Ron wisely kept quiet as her hands flamed up once again.
TO BE CONTINUED
Bonus points to whoever can figure out where all the weapons in the warehouse hail from. Hint: It’s a cartoon series, too.