Two days after Ron's talk with Wade Kim stopped at Tara's and picked up the twins after class. When she arrived home she found Ron in mission gear. “Shake a leg, KP, we have to stop Drakken!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Urgent call from Wade, Drakken and Shego are back in form -- they're trying to take over the world.”
“Ron, I don't believe you.”
“Hey, I taped his message, let me play it back for you.”
Ron was grateful for the small screen on the Kimmunicator; hopefully it would keep some of the problems in the tape from being too obvious. Drakken dominated the image, in the background a heavy-set henchman moved around nervously, as if he wasn't sure of his mark. Shego was facing towards Drakken. While her back was to the camera and she wasn't in uniform it was clearly Shego.
“Shego, this time I really will take over the world!”
“Just what have you got?”
“A theta wave generator, Shego. It's brilliant! It will sap the will of anyone in its range. They will be reduced to mindless drones -- willing to do whatever I command! Boowahaha!”
“It's fucking.a great idea. We.take over the world.”
“Where do you think we should start?”
“ Maybe.we.can start in California. I'll bet some city out there-”
“Not here in Middleton?”
“I.want.to move.before you start-”
“Shall we begin our evil plan soon.”
“Yes.Doc, I got to go.keep working on it.”
Shego left the room and the tape ended.
“Okay,” Kim sighed. “Let's go check it out. But what am I going to do with the girls?”
“Bonnie promised to watch them. Hurry up, get dressed for the mission.”
“She's a good person, Kim. She wants the world to be saved too.”
Kim sighed again and headed upstairs to change.
After she left Ron spoke into the air. “She's changing.” The tiny microphone in his shirt picked up his voice and transmitted it to Wade.
“Okay,” Wade's voice came through the miniature speaker in Ron's ear. “We'll be expecting you in about twenty minutes.”
“It's going to work, I know it.”
“I hope it works. I just want Shego out of here. How was the tape?”
“I think it fooled her.”
“What's that?” Kim asked as she came down the stairs, adjusting her top.
“Just talking to myself, KP. I'm an awfully good listener.”
“She really dressed fast. She must really want to see Shego again,” Ron thought. “That's a good sign.”
“This is utterly lame,” Kim thought as she drove the VW bug out to Drakken's old lair. The Lipsky and Load Lab had added a small parking lot out front and Kim pulled into an open spot, “Okay, Ron, how do you suggest we stop Drakken this time?”
“We can break in through the ventilation system, Kim. Just like old times.”
“Why don't we try the front door first and see if it's open?”
She pulled, and the glass door opened. “Oh, look,” she said as sarcastically as possible, “no one is expecting us. We can walk right in.”
Ron kicked himself mentally for not warning Wade and Drakken to make it look a little more convincing.
“And look,” Kim said as they entered the building, “no one is sitting at the receptionist's desk.”
“I think it's a security desk. Wade said they--”
“So, you've been talking with Wade?”
“Sure, don't you? I mean, weeks ago he was telling me about the remodeling they were doing out here.”
“Oh, yes. It's very important to remodel your lab before your evil partner launches a plan to take over the world.”
“It was probably part of Drakken's master plan. Remember, KP, the man is evil. EVIL. He probably has Wade in some death trap for trying to help us.”
“Oh, yeah. He's probably feeding him fatty hamburgers to get him off his diet. Poor Wade will die of blocked arteries if we don't get to him in time.”
Ron wasn't positive, but he suspected Kim was being sarcastic, “Okay, Kim, you stop Shego. I'll find Drakken and destroy his mind machine. Then we rescue Wade. It's just like old times.”
“What do you mean, No?”
“I mean you're capable of stopping Shego. I'm going to look for Drakken and get this straightened out.”
“May Day!” Wade's voice came through to Ron's ear. “Drakken and I are out in the hanger. I think Shego is in the kitchen -- try and steer Kim there.”
Ron and Kim had entered the main lab and found it deserted.
“Look,” Ron said, “Shego is probably down at the hanger. I'll check that out if you want. Drakken is probably making chocolate moo or cookies in the kitchen. Why don't you check there?”
“Okay,” Kim agreed. She wasn't really certain what was going on and decided to go along with Ron's idea for the moment.
The two split up, and Kim tried to remember the kitchen location from the visits she had made to the lair a year earlier. She pushed open the door and found Shego seated at the table, drinking a cup of green tea, with a textbook open in front of her.
“WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Shego demanded.
“Wade had a tape of you and Drakken plotting to take over the world.”
“AND YOU BELIEVED IT!”
“God, the things I've done for you and you're still out here thinking I'm trying to take over the world? GET OUT!”
“Will you listen for ten seconds! I didn't believe it. I just wanted an excuse to talk with you.”
Shego reached into her pocket, pulled out a cell phone and held it up in the air. “It's called a phone. You know my number. If you want to talk you try calling me instead of blaming it on some lame ass excuse.”
“I'm not leaving until I've talked with you. Or do you want to try and throw me out?”
“Say what you want to say, get out. I'm still mad about Chicago. And you still haven't learned a thing about trusting me.”
“What are you talking about now?”
“I was in to see Dr. Kemal the other day. He said you'd been by and questioned him about me. You didn't trust me to be in class.”
“I wasn't checking up on you! I was… Okay, maybe I was checking up on you. Is making sure you were in classes so wrong?”
“It says you don't trust me. You don't think I'm capable of finishing something I started. Damn it, Kim, I'm going to finish the degree.”
“IT SAYS I'M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU AND WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY. ARE YOU TOO STUPID TO SEE THAT!”
“IT'S CALLED A PHONE,” Shego said waving it at Kim's face, “USE IT!”
“What are they saying,” Ron demanded.
“Shhh, I'm listening,” Wade told him.
“You have the kitchen bugged?” Drakken asked.
“Dude, Wade has everything bugged.”
“And you call me evil,” the blue man muttered.
“It doesn't sound particularly good, guys. We do not have a warm and fuzzy moment happening in there yet. Repeat, we do not have warm and fuzzy.”
“Can't you just accept that I care about you, and that means I want to know what is happening with you?” Kim demanded.
“And sneaking around behind my back, questioning people about me is how you show you care? Get out of here. I've got enough problems right now without you giving me crap.”
Wade now had the video signal from the kitchen on screen.
“You have cameras as well as microphones?” Drakken asked. It was a rather pointless question when the evidence was on screen in front of him.
Oh, yeah, I've got video cameras in all the rooms except the bathrooms and Shego's quarters.”
“You honestly didn't put one in Shego's quarters? Ron asked.
“She told me if she found one in her room the proctologist would be setting a personal record for how far he had to go with the surgery to get the camera out.”
“I've never known her to utter an empty threat,” Drakken mused. “Wait a minute! You have video cameras in my quarters?”
“Just for security, Doc.”
“Evil,” the blue man muttered again, “Absolutely evil.”
“… and what is this lame story about Drakken and me trying to take over the world?”
“Ron had a film clip. He claimed Wade sent it. It had you listening to Drakken while he said something about theta waves and taking over the world.”
“I remember Drakken talking to me about some idea with theta waves. You know I never really listen to him. It was supposed to reduce crime and make people happier. Did you honestly listen to the tape?”
“Yes, but it really sounded like it had been badly edited from something. I figured Wade or Ron had done a really bad splice and dub.”
“Drakken was probably in on it too.”
Wade turned on Ron, “I thought you said it sounded good?”
“It wasn't your best work, but I hoped with the small screen she wouldn't notice.”
“It sounds to me like the guys were trying to set us up,” Kim said.
“Well, doh! You're right for the first time today. If you can be right one more time you're as good as a stopped clock -- right twice in one day.”
Kim glared at Shego, “Well, what are we going to do about it?”
“First, we're going to locate the conspirators.” Shego picked up a lab phone and punched in the extension for security. “Hello, Stu? … Yes, I'm needing to know where the Doc is. … Yes, you're right, Wade would be fine too. … Okay, could you and Chuck try to find either one of them for me? Don't tell them I'm looking for them. I have a little surprise. … Great, call me as soon as you find them.”
Wade looked shaken, “Abandon ship!” he told his fellow conspirators. “We've got to get out of here. The security guards are looking for us.”
“Don't you pay their salaries?” Ron asked.
“Yes, and money talks,” Drakken said. “But the threat of plasma fists speaks louder than money at any given moment. In the hierarchy of needs self-preservation trumps financial gain. This way to the emergency exit.”
While they waited for the report from the security guards Kim and Shego talked.
“Why would they try something this stupid?” the pale woman asked.
“Because they're men.”
“Okay, that's true enough. But what were they hoping to accomplish by just getting us to see each other?”
“They're men. They've read too many dirty novels. They imagine that that if we saw each other we'd fall into bed together and everything would be okay,” Kim explained.
“I'm sure you're right.”
“So what?” Shego asked.
“Are we going to end up naked in your bed?”
“I'm just saying--”
“You're just saying that if we have sex suddenly everything is going to be okay. Well, it's not true. Sex is not the answer.”
“I know sex isn't the answer. Sex is the question. The answer is yes.”
“The answer is no.”
“Please? I really miss you.”
Shego sighed, “I really miss you too. And it would be very easy for me to fall into bed with you.”
Kim smiled and took a step forward.
“Stop. Sex is not going to solve our problems Kim. We have real problems. We can try and cover them over and pretend they didn't happen. But if we don't deal with them they are just going to happen again. I'm not moving back, and we're not getting into bed until we are seriously trying to do something to improve the relationship.”
“And sex doesn't count?”
“No, sex does not count. It just keeps us from thinking clearly.”
“Okay, if we can't have sex can we at least talk?”
“Sure, Kim. Hey, the water is still hot. Make yourself a cup of tea. Sit down. What are we going to do with the Doc, Ron, and Wade when we find them?”
Three figures huddled together in the dingy back room of Steve's New and Used Video Game Emporium.
“Are we safe here?” the cadaverous blue man asked.
“We should be. I don't think either of them has ever set foot in here.”
“Tracking chips?” Ron demanded, “Can they trace us?”
“The program is encrypted. Shego's good, but she's not good enough. We should be safe.”
“Man, I'm really dead. I live with Kim, so I can't go there. And she knows my parent's house so I can't go there.”
“You're welcome to stay with me, Ron. Kim doesn't know where I-- Damn, Shego knows where I live.”
“I'll call Friday to see if you two are still alive. If you are I'll come back,” Drakken said. “I need to go to Innsmouth, I feel like my medication levels may need to be monitored for a few days.”
“Why are you waiting so long? It will probably blow over before Friday.”
“Maybe, but Thursday is pudding night. I don't want to miss that.”
Pudding was sounding good to both Ron and Wade. “Do you think Steve could put us up back here for a couple days?” Wade asked.
“I dunno,” Ron replied. “I mean, I'm pretty sure he lives back here, but have you smelled him? I don't think there's any way to shower.”
“Hey, Doc,” Wade said, “I'm declaring motel rooms a legitimate business expense. Ron and I will be renting a couple for a few days.”
“No. They come out of your paycheck.”
“C'mon, do you really want to lose your partner?”
“Okay, the firm pays for your room. Donald has to pay for his own.”
“Where do we go from here?” Kim asked as she finished her tea. “I think we were talking about a professional counselor, my minister, or your rabbi. You have a strong preference?”
“Well, you want to stay in the closet at your church. I like my rabbi, and she needs to know about my past. Why don't I try and set up an appointment with her. If it doesn't work out we can go with a professional therapist.”
“Sounds good…” Kim hesitated a moment. “Should I call you tomorrow and see what's happening.”
“Please do, I really don't want any more of your breaking and entering.”