No Living in the Past


Chapter Five


by
Allaine


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

TITLE: No Living in the Past

AUTHOR: Allaine

DISCLAIMER: Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, Shego, Wade, and all other characters from the Kim Possible television series belong to Disney, its television production arm, and the creators and producers of the animated series. All original characters are my invention. I seek no profit from writing this, and expect none.

SUMMARY: When Professor Dementor's trail leads Kim, Shego, and Ron to Boston, they encounter the LAST two people any of them, especially Kim, wanted to see.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Slash

RATING: US: PG-13 / DE: 12

Spoilers: Takes place after “Green, Black, and Blue”. Ignores the events of “Go Team Go”.

Words: 3086

Email: eac2ndyahoo.com

Feedback: Some of you have been extremely helpful, and I hope you'll continue to do so. New reader opinions are encouraged too!


Kim opened her eyes. “Ron?”

Her best friend was beside her in an instant. “Kim,” he said quietly. “Glad you were only sleeping.”

“Was I?” she asked. She looked down and saw she was still in her hospital gown. “Guess I dozed off. How long?”

“A couple hours. The doctors say your preliminary tests are okay, but considering what your night's been like, they thought it was best to let you sleep.” Ron looked into her eyes, concerned. “What do you remember? You weren't too communicative.”

She wrinkled her brow. “Dementor was shooting the device at Josh,” she said. “Then Shego was looking down at me. Shego, where is she?”

“Not sure,” Ron said. “She left an hour ago. She said she had some nervous energy to work off. Think maybe she's gone to steal something?” he asked hopefully.

Kim closed her eyes and groaned.

“KP? Do you need a doctor?”

“What I need is for you to lay off Shego for two minutes,” Kim said tiredly. “Give an invalid a break, okay? Shego's going to be here tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that.”

“I guess the day after tomorrow really is a disaster movie,” he muttered.

Kim opened her eyes and glared at him.

“Sorry,” Ron said.

She reached over and squeezed his hand. “Ron, I care about her. Please don't make it difficult for me.”

His eyes widened. “You mean it? Like you care about Monique and me?”

Not exactly, she thought. “Yes,” she said. “Like that.”

Ron ran his fingers through his hair. “Wow,” he replied. “Well, yeah, sure, Kim. If it's that important to you, you know I'll try harder.”

Kim smiled. “Thanks, Ron.”

A beeping noise interrupted them.

“Omigod, Kim, your heart!”

“Ron, that's the Kimmunicator. I'm not hooked up to any machines, remember?”

“I remember! I was just kidding. Heh heh.” He searched her pants and pulled the device out. “Here.”

“Wade? What's the sitch?”

“No sign of Dementor, Kim,” Wade said. “No reports of anybody being turned into cave people. Looks like - ah, looks like he's gone underground again.”

“Wade?” Kim asked again, raising an eyebrow. “You seem distracted. The doctors say I'm going to be fine, believe me.”

“That's good,” he said sincerely, but his voice was strained.

“What aren't you telling me?” Kim asked suspiciously. “It's not Monique, is it?!”

“No, Monique checked in half an hour ago, she's fine,” Wade told her. “It's just - I've been getting hits on your name on the Net.”

“You mean missions?”

“More like blogs and Live Journals, actually,” he replied. “There's this email going around, apparently. Over the last hour or so it seems like nearly everyone in your graduating class got one.”

“Alumni donation time already?” Ron asked.

Wade rubbed the back of his neck and said nothing more.

Kim sighed. “Don't tell me, let me guess. This email came from Bonnie, didn't it? Maybe something about how I turned into an ape woman?”

“It could have been from Bonnie, I don't know,” he said. “I hacked into a few inboxes. It looks like people are just sending it to their friends. I haven't tracked it to its source yet. But it's not about the caveman incident.”

“Then what is it?” she asked blankly.

“Everyone's saying that you're - well, gay.”

Kim stared at the viewscreen. Ron's jaw hit the floor. “What?” she asked softly.

“It's total slander,” Wade said instantly. “The rumor is that you were seen with a dark-haired girl, and you were giving her these looks, like you wanted to tear her clothes off and get her in bed.”

“Dark-haired girl?” Ron asked. “Wait, that must be Shego. Kim!”

Kim was both puzzled and appalled. She certainly didn't remember giving Shego any sort of look like that - at least, not in front of other people! The real problem, however, was the essential truth of the email. Kim was dating another girl. While she was still trying to process her sexuality - she hadn't been attracted to any other women since they'd begun dating, while she was still attracted to the men she saw on the television - she knew that she was in a bind. Deny it, and she'd be lying. Admit the truth - this was NOT how she wanted the truth to come out! “Ron?” she asked hesitantly, worried he'd already figured it out.

“That must be where she went,” he said. “Shego's spreading bogus rumors about you! I knew it!”

“Ron!” Kim shouted at him hoarsely. “It was not Shego! Got it?”

He looked confused. “How do you know?”

“Wade, I want to know how this started,” Kim told him authoritatively. “I want it five minutes ago.” She turned it off before Wade could say anything else, like “Is it true?”

“Ron,” she went on, cutting him off, “I need you to find Shego ASAP. Bring her back here. We need to talk about this.”

“I'll say!” Ron said. “If it wasn't Shego, it must have been Bonnie. She's trying to get back at you for dinner. Of all the lies she could choose to spread, Kim… people will never stop whispering about it.”

“And that would be bad?”

“KP, this kind of thing can ruin a girl's reputation,” Ron told her. “Especially one like yours.” Then he ran out to find Shego.

Kim leaned back and put her hands over her face. After that kind of remark, how could she tell him now?

“Thought he'd never leave.”

Kim's hands flew away from her eyes. “Shego?”

The fiery brunette was lounging in a chair. Sweat beads dotted her forehead. “Feeling all right?”

“Where did you come from?”

“Toldja I don't like sharing you,” Shego said. “I waited for him to go.”

“And before that?”

“I was on the roof.”

“Say what?”

“Had some anger to work off. I pretended I was fighting Dementor. Well, actually,” she corrected herself, counting one hand, “first I was fighting his henchmen. Then I was fighting Dementor. Kicked their ass, too.”

Kim sighed. “You may have to share me with a lot more people now.”

Shego frowned. “Why?”

“Because someonestarted an email rumor tonight,” Kim said, “that I'm gay. Apparently I was drooling all over some girl with dark hair, undressing her with my eyes.”

Shego stared, shocked. “What?”

“It's silly, because I certainly never looked at you that way in public. Maybe they spotted us together somewhere, and they decided…”

“Bonnie,” Shego hissed, her dark eyes burning with hatred. “I'll break bothher legs for this.”

“Shego?” Kim asked uncertainly.

“Um, look, Kimmie,” Shego said, suddenly embarrassed. “You gave me that look earlier tonight. Bonnie must have seen it.”

“What? What look? I don't remember - oh. Oh, shit. When I was cave Kim?”

Shego nodded. “I think it was something primal. You looked like you suddenly felt the urge to procreate, if you know what I mean.”

Kim moaned. “Payback really is a bitch,” she said. “It has a name too - Bonnie Rockwaller.”

“She'll never do another pirouette when I'm through with her,” Shego said murderously.

“Shego, no. Not while there's a chance it was someone else.”

“Who's getting the emails?”

“Um, Wade says people from our high school.”

Shego looked at her. “Who else but someone from your old school would email them?”

“Okay, so it was Bonnie. But you can't hurt her. That's not a good guy thing.”

“Good thing I'm the bad girl, then.”

“Shego.”

“What?!”

“We have more important things to do than putting the hurt on Bonnie.”

“Like what?”

“Uh, hello? Like the fact that I've just been outed in the worst way possible?”

“Actually, I think your parents catching us making out on the couch would be-”

“Shego!”

“What? Where's the drama? So they know. Big deal. They're not a part of your life any more. Who cares who knows? No big.”

“And what about Ron? My parents?”

Shego looked at her uncomprehendingly, and Kim realized she just didn't get it. She couldn't see why it was a problem. Shego never had family or friends. She never needed to care what others thought. If anyone would be completely unfazed by being labeled a lesbian, it would be Shego.

“Shego,” Kim said slowly, “when this gets out, I don't know what my friends or family will say. I'll have changed in a very real, fundamental way. They thought I was straight. Ithought I was straight. And now I have to tell my mother that she's never going to see me walk down the aisle with someone. Shego, do you have any idea how many kids have been disowned by their parents just for being gay? Or bi, or whatever I am?”

The other woman didn't bother to suggest that Kim didn't need her parents, having learned that was a completely foreign concept to Kim. “Yeah, okay, I get it. Your parents will be upset. But you knew you'd have to tell them sooner or later. “ Shego paused. “Didn't you?” She meant to sound angry, but it came out sounding oddly nervous.

“I was kind of assuming I would be able to handle this on my own timetable,” Kim said. Then she looked into Shego's eyes. “But I wouldn't have started something with you if I thought it would never work.”

Shego closed her eyes and nodded.

“Ron's going to be back any minute,” Kim added. “What do I tell him?”

“What do… you're considering lying,” Shego said flatly.

Kim nodded.

“It's about you,” Shego continued. “It's not because you're ashamed of us.”

“Yes,” Kim said firmly.

“It just feels that way.”

“Shego-”

“No, damn it, Kim. He'll ask if there's anything going on between us, and you'll say no. You'll have your dirty little secret, and I'll be a part of it. You really think it won't hurt when you say your feelings for me don't exist?”

Kim shrank into herself. “No,” she whispered. “Shego, please, if you want me to tell the truth, I will. But we're in the middle of a mission, and I can't-”

“Don't you dare make this about the fucking mission!” Shego snapped. “You're so much braver than that. This is about you.”

“I'm not brave at all, Shego,” Kim said. “Before he left, Ron made it sound like me being even called gay was a horrible thing. He's my best friend, Shego, but I'm terrified he won't be any more when I tell him.”

Not being someone who took being hurt well, Shego wanted to lash out and scream. What stopped her was her realizing what this was doing to Kim as well. Kim's fear was such that she seemed almost a shadow of herself.

She almost choked on her next words. “Like I said, this is about you. If you need to lie… then lie. I'll accept it.”

“Shego,” Kim said pleadingly.

Unfortunately, Ron picked that time to return. “I think she left the hospital, Kim.” Then he did a double take. “When the hell did you get here?”

It took an effort for Shego to smirk. “Gee, have you been searching the building for me? And I was right here all along? I feel sobad.”

“Right,” Ron muttered. “So KP, you tell her about the new scam?”

Kim winced. “Yes, Ron, the big scam.”

“What do you think about this?” Ron asked Shego. “The email's about you too, you know.”

She shrugged. “I don't mind being the outcast.”

Kim didn't know if that had been a subtle jab at her, but it made her wilt all the same. Not as much as Ron's reply, though.

“Kim considers you a friend. As a friend, does it at least bother you that people will call her a freak?”

Kim wrapped her arms around her middle. This wasn't happening.

“If it bothers her, it bothers me,” Shego said quietly.

“Well, it should bother her! Anybody who knows how crazy she was about Josh in high school would know this was a lie.”

From how still Shego had become, Kim could tell Ron wasn't making this easier for her either.

“Anyway, Kim, I think you need to get Wade back on the horn. Better yet, talk to Monique,” Ron told her. “Tell them it's not true, and have them spread the word. Bonnie thinks that you won't be able to defend yourself while you're in Boston, and the rumor will stick. You've got to get in front of this, KP.”

Kim sighed heavily. “Right.”

“Because of course it's not true.”

When she was a teenager, Kim realized, it had been much easier to believe that anything was possible for a Possible. As an adult, she was slowly learning how hard “anything” really was.

“Yes, Ron,” she whispered. “It's not true.”

The wounded look in Shego's eyes made Kim's heart crack.

“In the meantime,” Kim added emotionally, “let's find Dementor and show him our gratitude for the mess he's made.”

There was a crackling sound, and then the board at the foot of Kim's bed shattered into icy chunks.

Kim and Ron looked at Shego, who was staring at her hands. Evidently she'd been gripping the board in both hands without realizing her gloves were activated. Then she chuckled bitterly. “Your bed might be a little cold tonight, Kimmie.”

Kim shivered.


Bonnie smiled brightly as her instructor continued to critique her performance as if she were a raw amateur. Smile, because this was art, beauty, all light and air and fancy and…

“Take five minutes, Miss Rockwaller,” the teacher said dismissively.

… and shooting pains that ran up her calves as she lowered the soles of her feet to the floor. Not that she showed it, of course. Bonnie could grimace in private. When you had an audience, you smiled and pretended the sweat that soaked your leotard wasn't there. Ballet was fantasy. Sweat was stinky.

She made her way into the corridor.

“Bonnie.”

She turned. “Josh?” she asked. This time her smile was real. The envy and backstabbing and manipulation she encountered here made Middleton High look like kindergarten. It was Josh who still treated her like a queen. It made her appreciate it, rather than take it for granted like she had five years ago.

He was leaning against the wall, casual grace and unassuming honesty. As she went over to him, however, she detected an underlying tension. “Josh, you have your painting clothes on,” she realized, noticing the old shirt with the dried paint stains. “Why didn't you change first?”

“I got the most interesting e-mail a little while ago,” Josh said.

Bonnie stopped. Smile. Nothing is wrong in ballet. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said calmly. “Tara said you weren't big on details in the email you wrote her, and she was hoping I could fill in the blanks.”

Her smile wavered. “Josh-”

“Because apparently,” Josh continued, “last night over dinner, Kim and that other girl came really close to tearing each other's clothes off and having sex on our kitchen table. At least, that's the impression I got.”

“Josh, I can explain.”

“And I thought, gee, I must have been really distracted by all the sniping between you and Kim, because I missed that completely,” he said coldly. “Although I do remember how you were on the computer for quite a while after everyone left.”

Bonnie reached out for his hand. “Why don't we go somewhere and I can-”

He pulled his hand away, shocking her. “And then, I got emails from my friends in the old garage band. Since none of them exactly ran with Tara, I'm thinking they got it from someone else. Just how many people did you tell anyway, Bonnie?”

“Just a few!” Bonnie said quickly. “It's not my fault that they couldn't keep their mouths shut.”

“Bullshit,” Josh replied.

She stared at him. Generally he didn't feel profanity was necessary.

“It wasn't enough that your stalker shot Kim with that laser?” Josh asked. “A shot she took for ME, by the way. You hate her so much, you had to spread these lies about her to everyone who ever knew her?”

“They're not lies, Josh! I saw the look in her eyes after Dementor changed her! She wanted to jump that Shego's bones right then and there!”

“Love that potty mouth, Bonnie. It's so endearing.”

She flinched.

“Look, I don't believe it, but it doesn't matter,” Josh told her. “Either it isn't true, and you told lies about her that Kim will never be able to prove wrong for some people. Even if she marries and has ten kids some day, everyone will remember the whispers. Or it IS true, and you just took Kim's most private, personal feelings, and you broadcast them to the world for spite.” He glared at her. “I haven't decided which is more offensive.”

Bonnie gulped. “Josh, you don't understand. Kim Possible neverunderstood me. She always wanted mylife. She wanted everything that was important to me, and she'd take it like it was SO easy. The only thing she didn't get was you. And thenshe just waltzes back into our life, flutters her eyelashes, and all along she's not even straight?! She never wanted you for you. She just wanted you because Iwanted you. And I freaking called her on it!”

Josh just looked at her. “Do you think so little of my feelings for you, Bonnie?” he finally asked.

“Josh,” she said, horrified.

“Because if you think I'm just loving you while I'm waiting for someone better to come along, then you don't get me at all,” Josh continued.

“Please,” she begged. “Can't we just go home and talk about this?”

He looked away, then shook his head. “No, Bonnie, we can't. I don't think I can share a home with someone who harbors such jealousy and hate in her heart.” When he raised his eyes, she could see the disappointment quite clearly. “Bye, Bonnie.”

Then he just turned and walked away.

Bonnie stared after him, stupefied. “Josh!” she finally called. Her voice broke. “Josh!!”

Another instructor emerged from a classroom. “Miss Rockwaller, this is a school, and you will keep your voice down.”

Bonnie turned her head, but this time she didn't smile. She snarled at the teacher, who looked angrily at her as he closed the door again.

Leaning against the wall, tears spilling from her eyes, Bonnie's heart burned with the knowledge that this was all Kim Possible's fault.

What she'd done to Kim last night wasn't nearly, nearly enough.

To be continued…


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