“Here you go, Miss Possible.” said the bank teller, handing some printed out paperwork and a book of checks to the young teenager. “Your new account is set up. I must say, few teenagers seem to be as financially organized as you are. Imagine, wanting an account just to handle pet expenses.”
“Oh, you know the girl scout motto.” said Kim. “Be prepared.”
“Really?” said the teller. “I thought that was the boy scout’s motto…”
When Kim came out of the bank, she spotted Shego and Ron. Shego was dressed in a mid-riff baring black shirt and a pair of tight fitting black pants… an outfit she had gotten from Kim’s closet. She leaned casually against a metal trash can, the picture on nonchalance. It was only when you looked closer that you would notice some details were odd. First, there was the fact that the woman’s skin was ivory white, with a tint of green. If it wasn’t for her thick, luxurious black hair, you might easily assume she was an albino. Second, there was the fact that a band of a shiny, jet-black armored material was secured around her neck. Finally, a flexible metal cable ran from a small d-ring on the front of the collar, over one shoulder and down her back, to where the handle was tied to the rim of the garbage can.
Ron was dressed in one of his usual, casual Smarty-Mart bought outfits. He slouched on the ground, bored, while Rufus snored on his shoulder.
“Hey, guys.” said Kim, coming over. “Sorry to take so long.” she told Ron, as she unwrapped the handle end of the leash from the trashcan. The smart-leash, recognizing Kim’s touch, obediently came unwound.
Shego stood up straight. “So, how’d it go, princess?”
“Shee-ga-roo, do you really think pet names are appropriate in public?” said Kim, blushing.
“Kim, you’ve got another woman on a leash, and you’re embarrassed that I’m calling you pet names?” said Shego.
“It is kind of unusual, even for Team Possible.” pointed out Ron.
“Ok, ready to call Wade on the kimmunicator and tell him what the number of your account is?” asked Shego.
Kim pulled out her kimmunicator and activated it. “Hey, Wade, just got an account at Savemore Bank. The account number is…”
“No need, Kim.” said Wade. “I’d already hacked into that bank, and have your account information.”
“Ok, and people think I’M the super-thief?” said Shego.
“I don’t steal.” said Wade. “I just… hack.”
“Whatever.” said Shego, with a shrug. “You still have the account number I told you about?”
“Ready and waiting to make the transfer.” said Wade. “Just need your pin number.”
“It’s…” started Kim.
“Hold on, pumpkin.” said Shego. “He meant MY pin number.”
“Yeah, Kim.” said Wade. “Pin number is for getting money out of an account, not into.”
“Oh, sorry.” said Kim. She handed the Kimmunicator to Shego. A numeric keypad slid out of the side of the Kimmunicator, and Shego began typing on the keypad.
“You ok, Kim? Get enough sleep last night?” asked Ron.
“Sleep? Oh, yeah, plenty of sleep.” said Kim. Waking up to find herself snuggling with Shego, that had been a surprise. But Kim had definitely gotten enough sleep.
“It’s just, you were the one complaining about MY attitude to Shego losing her human rights.” said Ron. “And now, you seem to really be getting into the whole Shego-Pet dynamic. Remember, it’s just temporary.”
“I know that, Ron.” said Kim. “It’s just… well, it’s kind of fun to spend time with Shego and we’re not fighting. Plus… well, with the tweebs and the world saving and all, I’ve never really had a pet.”
“Kim, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.” said Ron. “This is a whole cornucopea of disturbing concepts.”
“Ok, done.” said Shego. She handed the Kimmunicator to Kim.
Kim glanced at the Kimmunicator screen, and her eyes went wide. “THAT’S how much you had in your account?”
“Of course not.” said Shego. “That’s just how much I transferred into your account. I figured that should be enough for pet expenses for a while.”
Ron glanced at the screen also, and his eyes went wide also. “Wow, I’m glad Rufus doesn’t expect ME to spend that much on him.”
“And that’s from only ONE of the accounts you had?” said Kim. “How much was Drakken paying you?”
“Let’s just say competent second-in-commands, complete with super powers and who DON’T plan to stab you in the back to take total control, don’t come cheap.” said Shego. “It’s a bit of a seller’s market, really.”
The thought of all this money, under Kim’s control, was a heady sensation… only slightly less intoxicating then the though of Shego under Kim’s control. “Let’s go shopping.” said Kim.
“Smarty Mart?” suggested Ron.
“NO!” said Kim and Shego, firmly.
“Club Banana?” suggested Shego.
“Yup.” said Kim. “Best of all, I know Monique is working there right now. She can bend the no-pets allowed rule.”
Shego squirmed, hoping it was unobtrusive. When she had agreed to the ‘pet’ thing, it had been to get Global Justice to stop chasing her and for an opportunity to tease Kimmy. Shego, however, had been surprised how quickly Kim had adjusted to the owner/pet situation.
Kim, holding onto the handle of the smart leash, entered Club Banana through the side door. Shego followed. After that first accidental time, Kim had never pulled hard enough on the leash to activate the leash’s shock function, but Shego firmly remembered it. Compared to some of what Kim had done to her in the past, during a fight, the pain was almost inconsequential. However, during a fight, Shego’s adrenalin was flowing, and she could give as good as she got. Being a helpless pet, shocked by a leash, made the pain that much more dramatic, that much more necessary to avoid.
Ron came in, shaking his head. He suspected that his pal Kim was being replaced with her alter ego; a side of KP he rarely saw, and never liked when he did. The ‘Evil Bitch Queen from Hell’ mode he called it, careful to never use the term aloud. Kim was very sensitive to profanity, avoiding it whenever she could. In this case, however, the term was appropriate. Kim could get so focused on a situation, dominate it so thoroughly, that she was like a ravenous pit bull with a bone. Nothing would deter her, and pity anyone in her way.
“Monique! Hi!” said Kim. “Can you help us do some shopping?”
Perhaps the scariest part of Bitch Queen mode, Ron thought, was how Kim can still seem so nice and friendly… until you looked into her eyes, or when you did something that interfered with what she wanted.
Shego found the next half hour or so somewhat bizarre. Since they were shopping for clothes for Shego, Shego had assumed she would have some choice in the purchases. Especially since Kim was spending the money Shego had legally earned. Well, skip the legally part admitted Shego, in the privacy of her own mind. But it’s still my money, even if I can’t legally use it myself right now.
Instead of consulting Ron or Shego however, Kim was mostly making her own decisions on what outfits she thought would look best on Shego. Occasionally, she asked for Monique’s opinion… but even then, she was likely to ignore Monique’s suggestion if it clashed with Kim’s.
Yup, Bitch Queen mode thought Ron. He glanced at Shego. Wonder how she’s taking it.. Ron glanced down, and then swallowed nervously. He could just make out, faintly, a green aura starting to surround Shego’s hands. Time for distraction boy he thought.
“Um, hey, KP?” said Ron. “I’m going to go grab a soda or something. Is it ok if I take Shego… I mean Shee-ga-roo, and get sodas for all four of us?.”
“Hmmm?” said Kim, looking up. “Oh, yeah… good idea. I’ll take a diet cola… get diet cola for Shee-ga-roo also. Monique, what would you like?”
“Diet lemon-lime.” said Monique. “I’m on duty, don’t want something that will stain.”
Kim handed Ron the leash and pulled Monique over to help her criticize a rack of tank-tops.
Ron quickly led Shego over to the store’s mall entrance, and scanned furtively around for Global Justice agents. He then handed Shego the end of the leash. “Here, I don’t think you want me to be holding this.”
“No, I don’t.” said Shego, tucking the leash handle under the front of her shirt. “I’m not even sure I want KIMMY holding that, right now.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” said Ron. “She’s not like this often.”
“She’s been like this before?” said Shego.
“Oh Yeah. You probably didn’t notice, but there’s been a couple of missions she’s gotten this way. Oh, and this one coaching time… don’t ask, it wasn’t pretty.” said Ron.
“I don’t get it.” said Shego, as the two walked toward a drink stand. “Kim is usually sweet and kind of naïve. A world-class fighter, but not this… this…”
“Evil bitch queen from Hell?” said Ron. Ron hadn’t made up the term himself, he had just overheard Bonnie using it, and the name had stuck in Ron’s head.
“Yeah.” said Shego, surprised to hear Ron call his best friend that. Heck, she was amazed he even KNEW those words, much less that he used them to describe Kim.
“Like I said, she’s not often like this, and it usually doesn’t last more then a day or two.” said Ron.
“What if this is one of the times it lasts longer?” said Shego. “Look, I’m grateful for her protecting me from the GJ goons.” She glanced around and leaned closer. “You repeat this, and I will fry you… but I’ll even go so far as say I was terrified out of my mind. But I’d take those GJ goons over a permanently evil bitch queen.”
“From Hell, Shego. Evil bitch queen from Hell.” said Ron. “The only way I know to banish this side of Kim to the pit of damnation it was spawned from, besides waiting for it to wear off, is to find some way to show Kim how she’s acting. You just can’t TELL her, she assumes you’re making an excuse or you’re lying.”
“Any suggestions on how to do that this time?” asked Shego. Hold on… she thought. I’m asking the BUFFOON for advice?
“Not right now.” admitted Ron. “But I’ll try to think of something.”
“Well… thanks, Stoppable.” said Shego. “But don’t think this means I like you or anything.”
“Understood.” said Ron. He pulled out his wallet.
“Hey, where’s your rodent?” said Shego, realizing that she hadn’t seen the naked pink mole-rat since coming into the mall.
“Down at the arcade.” said Ron, pointing. “Gave him some money for him to buy tokens. He doesn’t like hanging around the EBQFH either, and he’s a bit better able to sneak off then you or I can.”
Shego sighed. “It was bad when Global Justice declared me inhuman. And I thought being a pet would be fun. But it’s like…”
“She’s not treating you like a pet.” said Ron. “She’s treating you like you’re a mindless extension of herself, like you have no identity beyond ‘Property of Kim Possible’.”
“You know the feeling?” asked Shego.
“Know it, lived it, got the shirt.” said Ron, as they finally got to the head of the line. “Four medium sized drinks, please.” he told the cashier. “One diet cola, one diet sprite, one regular cola… what do you want, Shego?”
“You know, I think that’s the first time today someone ASKED me what I wanted, instead of telling.” said Shego. She considered. “Diet cola for me too.”
Ron and Shego carried the drinks back, Ron holding his and Monique’s drink while Shego carried the two diet colas. “Um, when you said got the shirt…” said Shego.
“I mean, got the shirt.” said Ron. “ ’Property of Kim Possible‘. We were helping at this young children’s camp, not a big budget for equipment so Kim brought some stuff from her home. She slapped labels on everything she brought, including me. She was so busy trying to get all the kids to have fun, that nobody had fun… including me.”
“Harsh.” said Shego.
“Yeah, well…” said Ron. “It could be worse. Just hang in there, ok?”
“Thanks, Stoppable.” said Shego, then smiled. Shego and Ron said together “But don’t think this means I like you.”
Shego and Ron came back into the store, to find Kim at the register. “What took you guys so long?” said Kim. “Ron, where’s Shee-ga-roo’s leash?”
Shego put one of the diet colas on the counter, then used her free hand to fish the leash out from the front of her shirt. “Here, mistress.” said Shego.
Kim grabbed the proffered leash handle. “Just ‘Kim Possible’ is fine, Shee-ga-roo.” said Kim, not even realizing that Shego had meant that as a joke.
Monique took the diet lemon-lime soda and finished ringing up the purchases. She glanced at Kim, then leaned toward Ron. “EBQFH?” Monique asked, speaking softly.
“EBQFH.” agred Ron.
“What are you two talking about?” said Kim. “Shee-ga-roo, get the bags.”
“Here, KP…” said Ron, before Shego could give in to the urge to blast the bags. “I’ll get them. I just need to go by the ar… go by another store in the mall to pick up something for Rufus.”
“Rufus busy sleeping in your pocket?” asked Kim.
“Something like that.” said Ron, evasively.
“Glad to see you’ve got a pet that‘s so easy to keep track of.” said Kim and walked on, unaware of how upset Shego was getting behind her.
Ron carried the bags and put them on a table in Kim’s house. “Need me to stick around?” he asked Kim, but his eyes were on Shego.
Shego shook her head slightly ‘no’ as Kim said. “No… thanks for coming with us, Ron.”
“Don’t mention it, Kim” said Ron. It’s not like you mentioned ‘Thanks for the sodas’ or ‘thanks for helping calm down Shego‘. Easy, Ron… you know it’s just Kim’s dark side. At least her dark side is just bossy. Your dark side tried to take over the world supply of Nacos, remember?
Kim turned to Shego. “Ok, Shee-ga-roo, let’s see how these look on you.” Kim reached down and pulled out a V-necked green blouse and skirt. “Go try these on first.”
Shego took the clothing, going into the bathroom and shutting the door. She glanced at her hands, frowning. They were glowing again. Either I’m even more upset than I think… thought Shego. Or it’s been too long since I discharged.Shego tried to remember back to when she had done a full discharge. She avoided doing them, since they left her temporarily weak and vulnerable, but they were still necessary if her powers weren’t going to spontaneously trigger. Haven’t done a discharge since I was with Drakken… I remember now, I was thinking I would need to fully discharge soon, and then I heard the news from Drakken’s mole in Global Justice. Shego stripped off the clothes, standing in only a forest-green pair of panties and bra, then tugged on the clothes Kim had picked out. At least she has good taste, but I already knew that.
Kim smiled when Shego came out. The V-neck showed off Shego’s graceful neck, drawing the eye to her shiny black collar. Also, while Kim preferred pants for casual wear, the skirt looked very good on Shego, emphasizing her hips and long legs. “You look great, Shee-ga-roo!” cheered Kim.
Hey, looks like the evil bitch queen has retreated thought Shego. “Um, Kim… can we go to the backyard? There’s something I have to do.”
Kim frowned. “You’re not going to go to the bathroom out there or something, right?”
“Nothing like that!” said Shego, hurriedly. “It’s my powers. If I don’t use them for awhile, the energy builds up. Stress and exposure to sunlight causes the energy to build faster, and it’s been pretty stressful with the GJ and y… the police. I need to do a full discharge.”
“What’s that involve?” asked Kim. “Anything dangerous?”
“Not if I discharge it voluntarily.” said Shego. “An involuntary discharge… and that has happened, when I went too long without draining my powers… Well, Go City needed a new school building, anyway. And a new library. Um, and new books, also.”
“Ok, ok… so pet needs to discharge. You can do that outside?” said Kim.
“Sure.” said Shego. She pointed straight up. “One plasma blast that-a-way, and I’m fine.”
Kim got out the smart leash and clipped it to Shego’s collar, not noticing Shego’s faint shudder. Kim flipped the kimmunicator open. “Wade, check to make sure there’s no aircraft or satellite overhead. Shego says she has to discharge.”
Bitch queen’s back thought Shego, but didn’t protest as Kim led her to the middle of the back yard.
“Ok…” asked Kim. “Do I need to do anything?”
“Just stand back.” said Shego.
“Air space overhead is clear.” reported Wade, over the Kimmunicator. Kim stepped back as far from Shego as she could, while still holding the leash,
Shego lifted her head and took in a deep breath. She lifted her hands up, bringing them together over her head. Both hands suddenly burst into dark-green flames, the energy flickering all the way from her elbows to her fingertips. The glow grew brighter and brighter, until Kim had to turn her head or else risk be blinded. Suddenly, a ball of green energy erupted skywards, leaving Shego’s arms and hands pale white, with no hint of flames.
“Ok… all discharged.” said Shego, in a dull voice, and then slumped forward. Kim, unthinking, rushed forward to break Shego’s fall.
“Shego! Are you ok?” asked Kim, for once not using Shego’s ‘pet’ name.
“Yeah… fine, Kimmy.” said Shego. “I’m always… bit drained after a full discharge. I’ll be ok in a bit.”
“Let’s get you inside where you can lay down.” said Kim. “Would you like something to eat or drink?”
huh, Kim’s being nice again… thought Shego. When she’s like this, makes up for being… how did Stoppable put it? An EBQFH. “I’ll be fine.” she said, already feeling steadier. Shego glanced around. “You know, if you fenced this in, I could go out here even without a leash.”
Kim glanced around. “Um, I’d have to ask my dad… how much would putting a fence in cost?”
Shego smiled. “I’d be willing to pay for it, if he agreed. No offense, but I’d like to be able to go outside and run around while you’re at school.”
Kim shrugged. “I’ll talk with dad. And remember, spring break is coming up soon… no school for a week.”
“Sir, massive energy surge from the Possible home.” reported one of the global justice agents assigned to monitor Shego and Kim.
“Anything illegal?” said Director Avery Juan-Dize. He frowned. “It’s not another of that Dr. Possible or his sons’ experiments, is it?”
“I don’t think so, sir.” said the agent. He tapped commands on a keyboard. “We’ve cross referenced it… the surge is similar to a surge that we’ve picked up near Drakken’s lairs before. It‘s usually a month or more before another surge will show up.”
“Ah, so maybe Drakken is still working with Shego.” said Director Juan-Dize.
“Should we bring in Dr. Drakken?” asked Will Du. He’d been surprised they had let Dr. Drakken alone as long as they had. Without Shego to help him, Global Justice should have been easily able to arrest Dr. Drakken and his small army of goons.
“Not yet, just monitor him.” said Director Juan-Dize. “With any luck, he’ll contact Shego and we can grab them both.”
Will Du sighed. “Yes, director.”
“Behold, henchman #357, my Cyber Divider Spider!” said Dr. Drakken, pointing to the center of the large garage. A giant metal spider, with a main body about the size of a Volkswagen bug and eight powerful black legs, stood there.
“Yes, Dr. Drakken” said Ken Nenfodder, Henchman #357. He wished Shego was back. First, when Shego was here, Dr. Drakken did all his boasting to her. Second, for a man with desires for world rule, Dr. Drakken had very little management ability. When Shego gave an order you obeyed it right then or else, but at least she gave clear, succinct orders. Dr. Drakken’s orders tended to ramble and be contradictory, as if the mad genius had trouble remembering what he was talking about.
“Are you beholding? Huh?” demanded Dr. Drakken. “I need feedback here.”
“Um, it’s a very nice giant metal bug?” said #357.
“Bug? Bug?” said Dr. Drakken. “Please! Count the legs! It’s a SPIDER!”
Shego sat in Kim’s room, eating and considering the events of the day. Dr. Possible’s joking edict about ‘no pets at the dinner table’ gave Shego the perfect excuse to avoid Kim’s family while they ate. Happy family togetherness time was a concept Shego was not used to, and found it rather disconcerting. After Club Banana, Kim had gone on and bought an inflatable mattress, along with pillows, sheets, and blankets. Shego was trying to decide whether or not she’d sleep on the mattress, or try to sneak into Kim’s bed again. If she’s the Evil Bitch Queen, mattress; otherwise, Pandaroo can sleep there decided Shego.
Shego finished eating and set the silverware, plate, and glass on Kim’s desk, making a mental note to take it down to the kitchen later. Shego yawned. Shego was a night person usually, but between the fact that she hadn’t slept much last night and had just recently done a full discharge, she was ready to fall asleep. She pulled off the black sandals she was wearing and laid down on the bed, soon curling up and falling asleep.
Dinner was going well, thought Kim. Her dad had agreed to let a fence be put in, provided Kim paid for it. Which Kim was willing to do, using Shego’s money. Tim and Jim, for once, were behaving themselves.
“Oh, Kim.” said Kim’s mom. “There’s a medical convention coming up over spring break, and my hospital wants to send me to attend. I was thinking of making this a family outing, but the hotel has a no pets policy and you said that Global Justice was really trying to crack down on Shego’s pet status. Do you want to come and get someone to pet sit, or stay here by yourself?”
Kim blinked. She had promised Shego she’d be spending spring break with her. “I’d rather stay here, mom.” said Kim. “Just in case Shego needs help. Since I‘ve dealt with Shego in the past, Global Justice has to accept my ability to control her.”
Kim came upstairs, not sure how to tell Shego that it would be just them two staying here for spring break. She was sure the two of them could find something to do to keep themselves busy. Much to her surprise, she found Shego snoring on her bed, taking up the entire usable bed surface.
“Shee-ga-roo!” said Kim playfully, shaking Shego awake. “Bad dog.”
“Huh… what?” said Shego, startled awake. “Is the lair about to blow up? Someone trip and hit the self destruct button again?
“Shee-ga-roo!” said Kim. The reminder that Shego had used to live with Dr. Drakken affected Kim’s euphoria, much like a bucked of cold water being dumped on an unsuspecting victim “You are NOT a villain anymore, you’re here with me. And you fell asleep on my bed!”
“Oh… sorry, pumpkin.” said Shego. “Still a bit tired from the…”
Kim didn’t let Shego finish her excuse. “Look, you need to go take the dishes back to the kitchen.” she said.
Shego picked up the eating utensils she had used earlier. Ok, definitely the mattress… the bitch queen is back.
Kim changed into her pajamas. Sheesh, what sort of person would WANT to sleep somewhere that could blow up around them? thought Kim, as she laid down in the bed. The warmth from Shego’s body could still be felt. Maybe I was a little rough on her… thought Kim. I should… Kim never finished the thought, as she fell asleep.
Shego marched up the stairs. She had helped with the dishes, washing while Mrs. Dr. Possible put them away. One advantage Shego had when it came to dishwashing was she never needed to add more hot water… a quick, plasma charged hand in the water brought it back to hot. Of course, this close after a full discharge, she had to be careful not to try to do too much.
Thinking back on the day, and Kim’s attitude, was getting Shego angry again. She pushed open the bedroom door, ready to have it out with her ‘owner’… only to see Kim, laying in bed and deep asleep.
Shego sighed. “I ought to shake you awake.” she said, but softly so not to disturb the younger girl’s slumber. Instead, Shego laid down on the inflated mattress, pulling the sheets around her.
Kim came home from class, growling. Today had been the last chance to practice with the cheerleading squad before spring vacation, and Kim had wanted to make this practice count. Unfortunately, Bonnie had been particularly snippy. Despite Kim’s caution, Bonnie had somehow found out that Kim had a new ‘pet’ and she’d delighted in needling Kim all through practice. “Hey, Kim… When you two are together, who wears the leash?” “Hey, Kim… Why did you need another pet? Got bored with just Ron?” “Oh, Kim… did you say mad dog or bad dog?”
The constant commentary had finally driven Kim to actually make a mistake doing a routine, exactly the result Bonnie had been trying for. The mistake had Kim wind up hitting the ground, hard. The bruise on Kim’s back was nothing compared to the humiliation and self-anger Kim felt. As a result, Kim’s current mental attitude could be summed up in one word: Pissed.
Shego paced the confines of the Possible homestead. Kim’s parents were still at work, Kim was staying late at some activity at school, and even the tweebs were attending a rocketry club meeting. If the backyard fence had been completed, she could at least have gone outside. However, since it wouldn’t be done until Monday, Shego had been forced to stay inside. She was bored; extraordinarily bored. She had gone through the house, twice, searching for something to do. She was tired of reading, especially since most of the books she had found in the house were extremely esoteric tomes, of the type that could only be understood by… well, brain surgeons and rocket scientists. Nothing on television seemed to interest her. As a result, Shego’s current mental attitude could be summed up in one word: Bored.
Kim opened the door to her house. “Kimmy!” shouted Shego, pouncing to wrap her arms around Kim. In her current mood, Shego would have been glad to see Ron if it meant a chance to get out of the house.
“Shee-ga-roo!” snapped Kim. “Down!” After hearing all of Bonny’s venomous comments, Kim was in no mood for Shego to be jumping all over her.
Shego didn’t notice Kim’s mood, just to eager to get out. “Come on, Kim, lets go.”
Kim groaned, getting out the smart-leash and fastening it to the end of Shego’s collar. “Come on, Shee-ga-roo.”
Evil Bitch Queen is back thought Shego, then relaxed as the sunlight hit her body. She had enjoyed tanning herself even before the meteor accident. Afterwards, however, she had discovered a new pleasure to soaking in the sun. She no longer tanned, but also no longer had to worry about getting sun burned. The feeling of sunlight hitting her body, as her meteor-mutated body turned the ultra-violet radiation into plasma energy she could tap, was a sensation she couldn’t describe but loved to experience. The real reason she wanted the back yard fenced in so she could lay out there, as content as any cat curled up in a sun beam.
Most of the time, the sight of Shego enjoying herself and NOT trying to pummel Kim would have brought a smile to Kim’s face. Today, however, Shego’s frolic just made Kim feel worse in comparison. Shego, on the other hand, was frantically looking for some way to get some exercise. Kim might get her exercise with cheerleading practice, but Shego was used to doing so in a hand-to-hand fight… either with Kim herself, or a couple of combat droids, or even (when Shego was really desperate) a couple of Drakken’s henchmen.
Kim glanced around, wishing Shego would get the idea and head home. Shego suddenly saw a man she recognized as one of Dr. Drakken’s goons. She moved toward him, grinning.
The goon, who was out for an afternoon constitutional, spotted Shego and Kim at about the same moment Shego spotted him. All of Dr. Drakken’s staff were well aware why Shego had been sent away… and were aware that Shego might be blaming Dr. Drakken and them. He yelped in fear and turned, running.
Shego started to charge after him. Kim, not expecting Shego to start running, got yanked off her feet. She landed, right on the bruise she had gotten from cheerleading practice. Angrily, without thinking about it, Kim yanked back on the handle of the leash, causing the smart leash to deliver a punishing shock to Shego’s neck.
Shego yelped, dropping to her knees and her hands reaching for the leash and collar around her neck. Kim got to her feet. “BAD SHEE-GA-ROO!” snarled Kim. “BAD!”
“But… that guy…” said Shego, pointing.
Kim was in no mood to listen to explanations. “Pets do NOT chase after things!” said Kim, clearly demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge of conventional pets. “I can’t believe you. All you have to do every day is lounge around, eating my mom’s cooking, and then you can’t even behave on a walk.”
Shego snapped. “Look, princess, I don’t know what ego-trip you’re on, but do you think it’s EASY being a pet? You’d snap in a week!”
Kim growled. “Hah! I see I’ve been too lenient! YOU wouldn’t last one week with a proper pet trainer, like Monique!”
Shego blinked, startled by the apparent non sequitur. “Monique? The fashion girl?”
“Yeah.” said Kim. “And if you were actually INTERESTED in me, you’d know that Monique’s dad trains police dogs, and that she’s helped train most of the dogs in this area.”
Shego shook her head, refusing to be distracted. “Look, Kim, I don’t know what your definition of being too lenient is but…”
Kim snarled. “Ha! I’ll bet I could be twice the pet you are!”
Shego blinked, then smirked. The imp in her head was hard at work. “Bet, princess? Do you mean that?”
Kim blinked, seeing Shego suddenly smiling. “What do you mean, Sheg… Shee-ga-roo?”
“You said you and I were staying by ourselves over spring break, and that Monique has experience handling dogs.” said Shego. “How about, for that week, we have Monique over, treating us both like dogs? If one of us ‘wimps out’ before the week is over, she loses the bet.”
Kim couldn’t believe what Shego was saying. “Why would I agree to that? What would we be wagering?”
Shego considered. “If you win… not that you will… I’ll do any pet trick you want, until I get my humanity legally restored. Fetch your slippers, roll over… anything. I win, you don’t call me Shee-ga-roo anymore and stop treating me the way you have.”
Kim frowned. “I don’t think that…”
“Scared, princess?” said Shego. “Finally found something you can’t do?”
“Fine!” said Kim. “You’ve got a bet.”
“Good.” said Shego, practically purring
Kim sighed. “Whatever, let’s just get this walk over with.”
Monique hummed, happily. It was Friday afternoon, the last school day before a week long break from school. While Monique didn’t have any specific plans for the week, she was sure she’d find something to do to enjoy herself. She closed her locker door, and was surprised to see Kim, looking a bit nervous. “Hey, girlfriend, what’s up?” said Monique.
“Um, Monique… did you have any plans for next week?” Kim asked.
“Not really.” said Monique. “What about you? Going to be hanging out with Ron?”
“No, Ron’s parents are taking him to some Jewish culture festival.” said Kim. “Monique, how much do you charge to pet sit someone for a week?”
“Pet sit?” said Monique. “Oh, you mean Shego? Are you going somewhere for a week?”
“Not exactly.” said Kim. “Um, this is kind of embarrassing… can we go somewhere to talk about this, in private?”
Kim felt herself blushing. She would be prepared to drop the whole idea right now, except it would mean admitting to Shego that Shego had won the bet. Kim’s pride wouldn’t let that happen.
Monique raised an eyebrow. “Ok…” She followed Kim into an open, empty classroom.
“You want me to WHAT?” demanded Monique.
“Pet sit Shego and I. For a week.” said Kim, repeating herself. “It’s part of a bet, between me and Shego…”
Monique considered. Part of her suspected this had something to do with how she had seen Kim acting like the EBQFH with Shego earlier. “So, I’m supposed to treat you both as much as I can as a pair of dogs I’m training?”
Kim nodded, wishing she could stop blushing.
Monique scratched her head. “How would your parents deal?” she asked.
“Mom and dad are going out for spring break, and taking the tweebs with them.” explained Kim. “You could spend the week with me, I’ll just tell Mom and Dad I asked you over for the company.”
Monique knew her parents would be ok with her spending the week at Kim’s, especially if she told her parents she was there helping Kim keep up with the house. “What about what you said, about paying me?” she asked.
“Shego found that Global Justice didn’t manage to lock up all her accounts… she transferred some money into a pet account I can use. I can pay you from that.” said Kim.
Monique considered it. “Well… if I’m going to do this right, I won’t have time to work at Club Banana. How about my normal Club Banana week’s salary?”
“Deal.” said Kim.
Monique followed Kim into her house. Monique’s pet sitting wouldn’t start until Sunday afternoon, but Monique wanted a chance first to see what equipment Kim had, and plan out what she’d need.
“Shee-ga-roo!” called Kim.
Shego looked up from the couch, where she’d been re-reading a trashy romance novel she had found in Kim’s room, for lack of anything better to do. “Hi, Monique!” said Shego. “So, did pumpkin actually manage to bring herself to ask you?”
“Yah.” said Monique.
Kim glanced at her watch. “Ok, let’s run up to my room and look around… gotta be quick, I promised to meet with Ron in a few minutes at Bueno Nacho.”
“Actually, Kim” said Monique. “Why don’t you go now? I’m sure Shego can show me around.”
“Ok… Shee-ga-roo, be good for Monique. I’ll walk you when I get back.” said Kim, heading for the door.
Monique waited till Kim had left, then turned to Shego. “She been like this all the time with you?” Monique asked, sympathetically.
Shego blinked in surprise. Since Monique was one of Kim’s best friends, Shego had expected Monique to see things from Kim’s perspective. To tell the truth, it was one of the things that had been worrying Shego about the bet. “Yes.” Shego admitted.
“The EBQFH, to use Ron’s term.” said Monique. She sighed. “I swear, I love that girl like a sister, but there are times I just want to KHITB.”
“Um…” said Shego.
“Kick her in the butt.” said Monique. “Kim’s cool most of the time, but every now and then she gets caught up in the whole ‘my way or the highway‘ vibe.”
“Well, this is one of those times.” said Shego. “I’m hoping some time with HER as a pet will help her get out of it.”
“This could work.” said Monique. “And I’ll do my best. Understand, though… if I do this, I’m going to treat you BOTH alike. That means if either of you disobey, it’s going to be the spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper.”
Shego smiled. “Works for me… Kim’s already used a shock leash on me.”
Shego showed the leash and her collar to Monique, then explained their properties. She then showed Monique where she had been sleeping, on the inflatable mattress of Kim’s room.
“Ok, I’m definitely going to need some things.” said Monique. “First, contact Wade and have him make up another leash and collar set for Kim. Second, treating you equal means getting you matching beds. Think you can convince Kim to pay me in advance?”
“How much is Kim paying you?” asked Shego, curious. When she was told the amount, she blinked. “You’re kidding, right? I couldn’t get a henchman to clean a lab for that kind of money.”
Shego reached for a phone, dialing Wade’s number from memory. As she dialed, she looked at Monique. “You have a bank account, right?”
“Yeah.” said Monique. “But…”
“Wade here.” said the boy’s voice, over the phone. “Is that you, Kim?”
“Shego here.” said Shego. “Look, Wade, Monique is here and needs some things. But first, I want you to transfer three hundred dollars from that account…”
“Three hundred?” gasped Monique. That was twice what she had asked from Kim.
“Make that five hundred.” said Shego, grinning at Monique’s reaction. “I want you to transfer five hundred into Monique’s account from my Swiss account. Here’s Monique with her account information, and the details on some stuff she wants you to make for her.”
“I always pay for good service.” said Shego, as she handed the phone to Monique. Well, always pay when I can’t get it some other way admitted Shego to herself.
Monique blinked, and began talking to the boy genius. Monique wasn’t sure what next week was going to hold, but it was definitely going to be interesting.
In the next chapter: Monique the Pet Sitter!