When Kim Possible walked tiredly toward the steps of her home she was exhausted yet happy. Finally, finally after a long week of yelling and screaming and basically waiting for her mother to just kick all three of them out of the house, finally after one whole week after Shego’d given Dr. Director the haircut to make any lesbian proud it was the Friday of spring vacation and she planned on spending most of it on the couch curled up and watching one of those new kinky soap operas they started airing on TV.
Of course, as Kim neared the door to her home she could hear the unmistakable blast of music coming from within.
Oh no.
Kim didn’t waste any time opening the door after she fumbled with the keys for a few moments, Panicking about the volume of the music and the fact that it was playing in the house. Sliding the key into the lock Kim gave the door a mighty shove, causing it to hit the back of the wall, though she was sure the occupants within hadn't heard a thing over the music and before she could prepare she was hit with the full force of the music.
Goodness, and what a force. The real volume of the music was nowhere near what Kim had thought it was and as her hair was blown back from the pure decimals she stumbled into the house to find a very loudly singing Dr. Director and Shego in the center of the living room.
Correction.
A loudly singing Betaroo and Sheeroo.
“It’s just a jump to the left!” Shouted Betty, jumping on top of the living room coffee table with a grinning Shego behind her.
“And then a step to the right!” Shego continued.
“With your hands on your hips!”
“You bring your knees in tight!”
Kim couldn’t believe what she was seeing, it was almost as bad as when she’d come in to find the living room in ruins. No, it was worse then that. All she could do was stand there in the open door with her keys hanging loosely in her grasp and her mouth open so wide it could have brushed against the ground.
“But it’s the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insane!” Shego and Betty said, singing right along with the loud high pitched voices of the chorus as they danced around on the table, hands on their hips and doing lewd thrusting motions.
“Let’s do the time-warp again!”
The song played out for a few more beats before coming to a grinding sort of halt, the music almost melting to a stop as if the current record had been scratched. Shego and Betty collapse onto the floor at that point, laughing wildly as if the entire little scenario had been far to enjoyable.
“I didn’t know you knew how to have fun, Director.”
“What is that suppose to mean?” Betty replied, though good naturedly as she blew a stray strand of hair away from her eye. That very same eye was the one that caught Kim Possible at the door with her mouth wide open too.
“Oh dear.”
“What?” Shego grunted, rolling over and off her black and green tank top covered back to give a surprised look Kim’s way. “Kimmie!”
But Kimmie didn’t look very happy to see her ‘dancing’ pets. “Sheeroo…Betaroo…”
“Ms. Possible! She was due home now? I thought you were watching the time.”
“How dare you…” Kim whispered.
“Damn clock on the CD player must be broken!”
“Dance…”
“We don’t really have time to talk about this right now do we…” Betty muttered, noticing the familiar expression on Kim’s face that she’d come to know as the ‘newspaper-face’.
“On my Nana’s coffee table!”
“Run!”
Kim muttered to herself tapping the pencil repeatedly against her upper lip as she stared at a blank piece of paper. Her math book was open to her left and the light of her lamp glared down at the confusing numbers that seemed to blur across the page.
“X equals four and the equation is x times two minus negative seven equals x two times three over fifteen. Simplify.”
Kim groaned, banging her head upon the blank paper in question. “I was never good at this.”
“I could help you with that.” Betty said from her location facing a corner of the wall.
“Hmph.” Shego grunted, her own gaze leveled on her corner.
“Hush, I can do it myself,” Kim growled, taking the pencil and putting it to the paper though no writing came from the action, “Or not…”
Betty rose carefully, a hand rubbing her sore bottom as she approached. Lifting a hand from her jeans she placed her own pencil to the paper.
“Wait where did you get that pencil from?” Kim asked, who was certain she hadn’t given Betty one previous.
“I always carry around my own personal writing utensils.”
“Uh-huh…only a nerd carries a pencil in their back pocket.”
“Hush, Shego, before I give you another spanking.” Kim sniffed, arms crossed beneath her chest as she leaned back and gave the back of Shego’s neck a glare.
The woman in question stiffened up with a weird sound and spoke no more.
Clearing her throat Betty began to explain, and just as Kim was beginning to understand the impossible language of mathematics the Kimmunicator went off. Without missing a beat Kim picked it up, switching it on to see the serious face of Wade.
“What’s the sitch, Wade?”
“Got a mission for you Kim, may want to get a pet sitter for this one.”
That got both the grown women’s attention, who were most certainly to old for ‘sitters’.
“What’s going on, Wade?”
“Well I got a hit on the site, some big shot named Money Bucks ‘N Dough who wants you to come up to his ski resort for a week and research a temple on his land. He says the place is haunted and keeping his costumers away.”
“I’m not a Ghost Buster, Wade.” Kim muttered, wary of leaving home for more then an hour, let alone a week with Shego and Betty alone with her family. There was no way they’d be able to handle them.
“But you are Kim Possible--”
“The girl who can do anything.” Betty said.
“Anything’s possible with, Kim Possible.” Shego mocked.
Kim let it go, blushing slightly as she rubbed her face. “Who came up with that slogan anyway? Ron?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Wade interrupted, typing something up on his screen. “I can arrange for you a ride up there. It’s in Canada. Only problem is…”
“These two.” Kim turned, looking toward the innocent expression of her eye patch wearing pet and the not so innocent expression of her green skinned one. “There’s no way I can leave them here, Wade. Not even with a pet sitter. Shego would have driven even Ron up the wall and I don’t want to risk Monique’s sanity.”
“Ron will be coming with you.”
“Oh?” Kim asked, suprised, “I thought his parents were dragging him off somewhere for the week, like to Florida or something.”
“He wormed his way out of it.”
Kim smiled, enjoying the prospect of having her best friend along for the week. She hadn’t thought she would.
“Hey, do they allow pets in the ski lodge?” Kim asked, suddenly having another one of her brilliant moments.
Shego didn’t like that sort of moment.
“Uh…”Shego began, only to be cut off as Wade’s voice came from the Kimmunicator again.
“I’ll look into it. If they don’t?”
“Then tell him I won’t be able to do it. My pets need special care only I can provide so I’ll have to take them along. Tell them they’re uh…mission pets.”
“Does this mean we’re going out?” Betty whispered, rubbing her chin with thought, already calculating some type of base plan in her military trained mind.
“Seems like it,” Shego said, turning from her corner to face her ‘master’ and Betty.
“Will do.” Wade said. “You’re ride will be there in three hours, get ready it’s a long bus ride.”
“So, ski resort…does that mean…”
“Lot’s of snow, cold, and endless white?” Betty smirked, quirking a brow beneath her short spike hair cut.
“Yup.” Kim answered.
“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“Are we there yet?”
“No…”
“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“Are we there yet?”
“No!”
“Are we there yet?”
“NO SHEGO, NO. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! WE ARE NOT THERE YET, NO! IF YOU ASK ME THAT ONE MORE TIME I WILL ROLL DOWN THIS TINY BUS WINDOW AND TOSS YOU OUT OF IT!”
“Geez, Princess. Just asking a question.”
“Welcome to The Safe Box!” A fat round, bald and short man said as he waddled out of the elegant looking lodge building with a tall thin gray haired man beside him. They both looked rather elegant in their expensive business suits sporting the lodges name across the chest. “I hope you’re ride was fun.”
Kim found the nature of the short one pleasent and delightful, judging that this must be the owner of the lodge. “Why yes, Mr. Dough.” Extending her hand out to the man she would give him a warm Possible smile. “I’m Kim Possible, I take it you heard from my manager about my conditions?”
“Oh yes, me and my brother have heard about it and it’s all fine. Just don’t let them near my brother here.” Mr. Dough motioned to the tall bored man at his side, who only sniffed and repressed a sneer. Kim lowered her hand after shaking it with Mr. Dough, she didn’t want his brother touching her. “He’s allergic to things with fur.”
“Oh you won’t have to worry about that, Mr. Dough.” Kim said while motioning over her shoulder to a shaking Ron whole stumbled out of thebus as Shego exited first, tugging him along via her collar and leash.
Shego was bundled up from head to toe in green and black ski gear. Coat, gloves, hat, scarf and anything else she could think of and still she stood in the snow showing off the boots she’d begged Kim to get her before the trip, and shivered with distaste.
“I hate snow.” Came her muffled voice behind two thick scarfs.
“Yes, apparently.” Answered a more laid back Betty as she exited, not dressed as heavily as Shego was as she patted at her coat, her leash also held in Ron’s grasp. “Odd for a wolf don’t you think? Many of them live in cold climates I believe.”
“Well I ain’t one of ‘em.” Shego growled.
“It ain’t so bad, is it Rufus?” Ron said, motioning to the naked mole rat at his side in a ski cap and small scarf.
“Awesome!” Rufus replied, obviously liking what he saw.
“Didn’t ask you, Sidekick!” Shego said before dragging the boy and eye patch wearing woman behind her and taking them all toward Kim’s direction.
“That boy with the leash is Ron, the other too are Sheeroo and Betaroo.”
“But those are…” Mr. Dough began.
“Grown women? Not quite sir, it’s a long story but trust me they’re animals.” Kim interrupted, she didn’t feel like going into the story.
“Well um…are they house broken?”
“Yes sir, and friendly too…for the most part.” Kim muttered, tossing Shego a glare as she ended up beside her with the others.
“What?” Shego snapped, already irritated. “Let’s go in already!”
“Oh yes, of course!” Mr. Dough said, handing Ron and Kim a set of keys. “Those are the keys to your rooms. This one is yours Ms. Possible, and the other is Mr. Stoppable’s.”
“Cool, we got us a bachelor pad!”
“More like a loser pad…”
“Hey! I am not a loser, I’m cute and loveable. All chicks dig The Ron!”
“Oh not again,” Kim said, grabbing Ron’s arm to tug him along with the other two as Mr. Dough and his brother began to back away. “Um, Mr. Dough why don’t you just show us around then? So we can get started on the mission.”
“Oh, yes of course! And please enjoy yourselves as well. Relax while you work, but not much!” Mr. Dough said, laughing slightly as Kim nodded understanding and serious about the work ahead of her.
“You can count on us to get the job done, Mr. Dough. You’ll have business flowing through here again in no time.”
With a nod and quick thanks Mr. Dough lead them inside. Only a few people lingered about. There even seemed an odd lack of employees as Team Possible took their tour.
“As you can see,” Mr. Dough said, “Even the workers are to scared to show up for work anymore. Right, Cents?”
Cents, who was obviously Mr. Dough’s tall mean looking brother said nothing.
“I’m afraid if it keeps going like this soon enough even my loyal customers will cease coming and I’ll have to close down. You see, running this place was my brother and I’s dream.”
Kim nodded, listening as Mr. Dough began to go into his story, only pausing once or twice to swat at Shego who seemed to be proding and poking at Ron to annoy him.
“Hey, Sidekick,” Shego whispered, catching Betty’s wandering attention slightly. “How about letting go of that leash of mine?”
“No way.” Ron whispered back, hissing almost as he smacked at Shego’s hand. “Kim said to keep you guys under control, no matter the costs. I’d even risk my life!”
“Good show, Ron Factor.”
“Thank you, Dr. Director!” Ron beamed.
“Geh, this is so boring. The fat guy is just going on and on, I didn’t even have to listen to Drakken’s dumb tales for this long.”
“It’ll teach you some patience, Ms. Shego.”
“Screw patience, I wanna have some fun.”
Growing worried that Shego was growing restless Kim politely interrupted Mr. Dough.
“Sorry sir, but I better get us up to the rooms. We’re all pretty tired from the long ride and need a shower I bet. We’ll come down and explore some more later.”
“Alright then.” Dough said, passing Kim a small business card. “If you need us just call the contact numbers, we’ll be in the office.”
“If you need me, just--”
“Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me.” Shego mumbled under her breath, grinning mockingly all the same.
“Call…” Kim grumbled, giving Shego a good glare.
“Kim Possible?”
The entire group jumped then, as Mr. Dough’s brother, Cents spoke for the first time, his voice soft and caring the complete opposite of his still very much serious and mean expression.
“Please save the lodge, my brother’s life accomplishments have been placed on you.”
Kim swallowed hard then, way to put the world on my shoulders, she thought.
“Nothing is impossible, for Kim Possible.”
Shego bounced on the fluffy circle shaped bed in the master room they’d acquired, watching Kim and Betty carry in luggage and stack it against the walls with pants and grunts.
“Really, Ms. Shego,” Betaroo growled, “You could help.”
“Nah, I think you guys got it.”
By the time Betty and Kim had brung in the last of the luggage there was a nude Shego walking toward the bathroom with a towel draped across her shoulders and a lodge paper in her grasp.
“Ah!” Betty shrieked, not expecting that…site.
Kim almost did the same as she closed the door and saw what Betty was squealing about, but instead what burst out was “You better get your supple, slinky little body back in some clothes!”
She blushed soon after she’d said that.
“Supple slinky–?”
“Don’t!” Kim shouted, cutting off a confused Dr. Director before she’d finished her question. “Shego, what are you doing?”
“Going to take a bath, why, you wanna join, Princess?”
“I most certainly do not!” An even brighter blushing Kim responded.
Betty grunted, finding this behavior most unacceptable.
“Oh hush.” Opening the door to the bathroom Shego would pause, halfway in. “Hey, they have a hot spring here. I bet it’s just like in one of those weird movies you’re dad has hidden under his bed, Kimmie. We’ve definitely got to hit one of those up. Maybe it’s unisex and the Sidekick can come along? Hah, wonder what his lil--”
The rest of what Shego said was cut off as she entered the bathroom and closed the door.
Kim thought it was just as well that it had been.
This is going to be one long week…
“So not the drama…?” Betty offered, shakingly placing a suitcase upon the bed to unpack.
“You got it…”
To be continued…