“You play very well.” Xaio Qing stood behind Kim, hands sliding over the strings, fingers sometimes brushing against Kim's. A gold chain was wrapped around Kim's hand. Attached to the chain was a triagular object, jade-like, but not jade. A scale. Kim used the scale as a pick for the guzheng. “Almost like Bai Su Zhen.”
“Bai Su Zhen?” Kim's interest perked. Besides the story Shego had told her about the legendary White Snake, she's never really heard any mention of her besides that. Xaio Qing played a few notes. Sad notes, that dripped with bitterness.
“This guzheng was hers, you know? Bai Su Zhen was very beautiful. The most beautiful snake ever,” Xaio Qing whispered. A delicate rising crescendo. “She was five hundred years older than me. Her scales were… very pretty. Hard as diamonds. Prettier than diamonds. When she was human, she was the most beautiful human ever. The kindest human.”
Deep notes struck a cord in Kim. The redhead felt like Xaio Qing was pulling on the strings of her heart.
“Bai Su Zhen, she would heal people. Those who could not pay, she healed for free. Her worthless husband,” Xaio Qing spat the words out, and the angry music suddenly made Kim lurch forward in pain, unnoticed by Xaio Qing. “and I, we helped. We gathered herbs and brewed them. All snakes know innately how to cure ailments. Even death is temporary when we have the right ingredients.
“Though Bai Su Zhen was much more powerful than I, when winter came, the cold would bother her too. She always had a thick coat, made of silk and stuffed with feathers to keep her warm. White is unlucky for the Chinese, you know?” asked Xaio Qing, who didn't expect Kim to answer the question. “But Bai Su Zhen would have no other colour on her. And we would sleep together under really heavy blankets, and she would wrap it around herself and I.”
Kim suddenly found herself thinking about when they slept, with Xaio Qing's head tucked underneath Kim's chin. A sudden burst of tenderness hit her as Xaio Qing wrapped her arms around Kim from behind and the redhead found that she was powerless to stop herself from enjoying that warmth pressed against her.
“It is so much easier with you…” Xaio Qing whispered into Kim's ears. “You are so much more… receptive. But Shego made it clear to me. I will have but one disciple.”
Kim felt a sudden burst of phantom pain from her back, where Shego had forcibly extracted Xaio Qing's scale from her back in the battle. Xaio Qing, sensing Kim's discomfort, rubbed Kim's back soothingly.
“Of course,” Kim had a distinct feeling that Xaio Qing was only saying that to stroke Kim's wounded pride. Shegohad challenged her to a fight to see how good Kim had gotten since Shego left. They were evenly matched in everything except magic, and Kim had been able to use the guzheng in battle to even out that inconsistancy. But Shego had won fair and square. It was a victory Kim could submit to, though. It had the feel of one of their old battles. One would win or one would lose or they would fight each other to a draw. It was just the luck of the draw, sometimes. They had traded blows until both realized they were evenly matched and unless they had a trick up their sleeves, neither one was going to win.
So Shego had opted on cheating. While fighting, Shego had started tearing at Kim's clothing until the redhead was struggling to fend off Shego and hold her clothing together.
“Aw, why so shy, princess?” Shego had teased her mercilessly while Xaio Qing watched, laughing in amusement. “Oooo, a full body blush!”
“That's not fair, Shego!” Kim held the guzheng against her, strategically blocking her more intimate areas from view.
“I see London, I see France!” Shego sing-songed. “I see Kimmie's--wait.” Shego's face split in a develish grin. “Doesn't seem like you're wearing any underpants, Kimmie.”
“Who tore it off me?!” Kim shouted back at Shego, blushing from head to toe. A swipe of Shego's fiery hands had not only left a small burn on Kim's hip, but also took out the remains of her pants and her underwear.
“Fine, fine.” Shego pouted and asked Xaio Qing for the green cloth that draped over the demoness’ shoulders. Xaio Qing gave it up quickly. When Shego approached Kim to drape the sheet over her, Kim temporarily let down her guard. Shego's encircling arms had found that spot on Kim's back that had Xaio Qing's scale embedded in it.
“Shego--!” Xaio Qing wasn't fast enough to stop the green-eyed girl as the pale woman ripped the scale from its spot on Kim's back.
It was the most excrutiating pain Kim ever had the displeasure of experiencing. It was at like someone doing a root canal on her soul without administering anesthetic first. There was no amount of adrenaline or pain-inhibitors in the world that could prepare her for having that piece torn out of her. The pain she felt now was proportional to the ecstasy she felt when the scale had first taken root on her back.
“I win.” Shego had let Kim fall to the ground. The redhead lay there, arching back in pain, screaming out her agony.
“Shego.” Xaio Qing's voice was heavy with disapproval, but Shego glared at the demoness, chin tilted up a bit. The master knew her disciple well. Shego was being difficult and she wouldn't apologize for what she had just done. Xaio Qing had flown to the younger woman's side, tended to her while Shego just walked away, dropping the gleaming green scale in the dust. The day after, Xaio Qing had strung Kim's extracted scale on a gold chain and gifted it to her disciple as a sort of consolation prize.
‘Didn't she care?’ Kim would find herself wondering about Shego. Shego had disappeared again.
“I will be going back to hibernate soon. Possibly tonight. So I will spend the time I have left with Shego, because she is in need of me.” Kim perked up. In need?
“Goodbye, Kim Possible. It was very nice knowing you.” Xaio Qing moved away from Kim, and the goodbye sounded so final that Kim had to just reach out and hold on to Xaio Qing's arm. Xaio Qing smiled and hugged Kim, not doing anything to dispel Kim's uneasiness about the finality of this adieu.
The days passed by quickly since Xaio Qing left, and soon, there was snow on the ground.
It was despair all over again, despair Shego seemed intent on imposing on the both of them. Because sometimes, Kim would hold on to Shego and the dark-haired woman's grip on Kim made Kim believe Shego was intent on never letting her go.
‘Say it again, I need you to reaffirm what I heard, make sure it wasn't a lie,’ Kim would silently beg. But Shego never said anything nowadays. So Kim never said anything. She wanted to tell Shego she loved her… loves her. But how could you get the courage when the one you love seemed intent on pushing you away? When what you say could be thrown back at you?
Kim sat in front of her guzheng, pausing in her playing. She was doing that a lot lately. Shego let her do whatever she wanted now… let her. Well, if letting her was synonymous with not caring, that was what Shego was doing. Not caring, not giving a damn what Kim was doing. Kim had pushed the boundaries deliberately, seeing if Shego was going to make her do the physical training exercises if she slacked. But no. She didn't.
Besides the obvious changes in Shego's attitude and interactions with her, Shego had also started physically changing. Dressing weirdly. Shego would deck herself out in the thickest coat she could find, layers on her body. And she would sleep in as much as she could. Also, she constantly kept a lambskin hat on her head, the kind with earflaps. It was ridiculous. She even wore it on the chance occasion that they had sex.
Like last night.
Lovemaking was fast and desperate, as if they were on a time limit. It was like trying to fill a barrel that had a hole at the bottom, or bailing out a sinking boat.
Kim lay there in the aftermath, breathing harshly against Shego. Playfully, she batted at one of the earflaps on the hat.
“Stop.” Shego grunted, slapping away Kim's hand. Shego buttoned up her shirt--didn't take long since she didn't let Kim unbutton it all the way. That was another thing. Shego always tried to keep her shirt and hat on. It was mildly insulting.
‘No, its hella insulting.’ Kim pulled on her underwear, feeling… dirty. Shego bouncing away from her as soon as the deed was done… made her feel like Shego was only doing this because she had to. Like Kim was a fucking chore.
“What, going already?” Shego's voice was biting and snide.
“Fuck you, Shego.” Kim picked up her clothes, and strode out of the audience chamber, away from Shego. Kim had initiated things. Shego had finally complied to going a round of duking it out with Kim, outside in the cold. See how good Kim's gotten. They had had a good bout until Shego had called an end to it because it was cold. Kim had taken off Shego's gloves when they had entered the audience chamber. The redhead had taken those pale hands, ever so carefully, and breathed warm air on it. Kissed them and rubbed them to try to get the blood circulating. Shego's hands were so cold. And so were her lips. Shego had tried to push away, but Kim had insisted. So Shego had given in to Kim's demands.
‘Given in.’ Kim felt ashamed with herself. If Shego didn't want to touch her… she shouldn't have forced herself on the other woman. Why didn't Shego want her?
Shego watched the redhead go until she couldn't see her anymore, than stayed still listening for that inevitable slam of Kim's door.
‘This is getting old, but its the only way to get you pissed.’ Shego reached her hand under her hat to scratch at her scalp. Keeping the hat on made her head itchy.
‘Just gotta pile enough straw on the proverbial camel's back. And it'll break.’ Shego picked up her mittens from the ground. Instead of wearing them, though, she stuffed them in her pocket. Her hands were warm.
It wouldn't take long to break Kim.
Shego started the fight. In fact, if Kim didn't know better, Shego had been aching for this.
The fiery-handed woman had been picking for a fight, doing her best to annoy the hell out of Kim all the way back to She Cun.
It was late in the night, but neither women were sleeping. Shego and Kim had lived together long enough to know each other pretty well. One thing Shego learned about Kim was that the redhead wore her heart on her sleeve. She was devastating honest with her feelings, sensitive, caring, patient, loving, understanding and giving. It was so easy to hurt her if Kim considered you a friend. Or something more.
“Why are you being like this, Shego?” Kim asked, frustrated. It felt like they were back at square one again. Shego had obviously closed herself off to Kim emotionally, and the redhead didn't know why.
“Kim, please.” Shego dragged out the last word, a bored look on her face. Shego stood in an infuriatingly casual manner, her weight resting on one hip as she glanced at her nails, projecting the air of someone who found their cuticles so much more important than the person they was facing. “Enough with the melodrama.”
Kim had to fight back tears of frustration. She seemed to be doing that a lot recently.
“What's going on Shego? Why are you--”
“I'm bored with you, alright?” Shego finally looked at Kim, catching the redhead in the fullness of her green gaze. “It was fun while it lasted, but ya know, all good things come to an end, yadayadayada--”
“What?” Kim's whispered word interrupted Shego's speel. Shego summoned up her most arrogant smirk and laughed spitefully.
“Kimmie, you,” Shego had to stop laughing to get her words out. “You didn't actually think this,” Shego motioned in between the two of them. “that this meant anything, right?” The look of devastation on Kim's face was all Shego needed. “That's funny. You actually did.”
Kim didn't even try to hold back the tears anymore.
“Well, since I won this little game, let me tell you why I really brought you here. To She Cun. To Er Mei.” Shego placed a finger underneath Kim's chin to tilt her head up to meet the other's eyes. “Did I really need someone to be up here training with me? Ha.” Shego scoffed. “Give me more credit than that. Why would I give you the secret to winning you?”
Kim was locked on Shego's face, disbelieving.
“Its true, Kimmie.” Shego said in a low harsh whisper. “Everything was planned. Physically beating you to a pulp was too easy. Scars on your body--” Kim jerked away from Shego's hands, which had trailed down to the small of her back. Stepped forward right into Shego's unforgiving arms that held her tightly and gasped when Shego drew her closer, cupping Kim's ass lewdly. “--heal. But emotional scars last forever.”
“You're lying.” Kim tried a smile through her tears, smeared them away with the back of her hands. “No. I-I don't believe it…S-Shego you can't--”
“I can't?” Shego suddenly caught Kim's face in between two hands. Bending Kim backwards and dipping down, Shego claimed a kiss from Kim. It was dominating and agressive, and it hurt as Shego took the liberty of giving Kim's lower lip not-so-gentle nips. It was second nature for Kim to open her mouth and accept that intruding tongue. No longer gentle and passionate, the kiss seared Kim with its ruthlessness and violence. Shego's hands pressed insistently, roughly against the apex of Kim's legs. Even clothed, Kim could feel her body betraying her and responding to Shego's touch, and a guttural moan dragged itself from Kim's throat.
“Does that feel good, pumpkin?” Shego's words were sickly sweet against Kim's ears. The redhead tried to push Shego away, but the brunette had the upper hand. Hands ripped at Kim's shirt and cast the offending article away. Exposed the white flesh of Kim's shoulder allowing Shego to burn kisses on the creamy skin.
“No, Shego,” Kim gritted out the words through clenched teeth, tears falling steadily from her eyes. Kim closed her eyes, willing the tears to stop. Kept her teeth clenched and held the expulsions of ecstatic cries in her chest. “No!”
“Don't you want this?” They had backed up against a wall, Shego continued on mercilessly. “You've been with me for years, princess. You've wanted this for years. You've had this for years. I've had you for years.”
Kim's cries escaped with her sobs as she tightened her hold around Shego, nails digging through Shego's shirt. That damned ridiculous hat still on Shego's head. She wanted Shego so much it hurt, even with the stupid hat on.
“Get away from me.” Kim tried to pull away.
“Why?” Shego pouted, a malicious glint in her eyes. “Don't you love me, princess?”
“You told me you loved me.” Kim gave Shego the ammunition she needed.
Shego smirked. “And you believed it? Didn't I just tell you it was all a game? Don't you get it?”
Gently, Shego placed each of her thumbs over Kim's eyes. Cataracts formed over the red-head's eyes. For a minute, Shego could let a pained look slip on her face as she felt Kim's tears wetting the skin of her hands.
“Are you crying, Kimmie?” Shego asked mockingly.
Please.
Please.
‘If any gods are listening right now… Assist me in my lies.’ Shego prayed and felt an answering tingle in the back of her mind as the spell slipped into place.
Kim shoved Shego away angrily, unable to stop the tears now. The sneer on Shego's face was… infuriating.
Shego accepted the slap she knew was coming, felt the sting on her cheek. Her head jerked to the right by the force. Another slap. The pain from the slap before dulled the second blow.
“Are you done?” Shego asked coolly, raising herself up.
“I never want to see you again, Shego.” Kim didn't want to cry in front of Shego. But she couldn't help it as her last word caught and hitched on a sob.
“You don't have to. I've pretty much got what I want.” Shego felt another well-deserved slap, this time on the other cheek. Shego didn't pause to retaliate this time, her backhand sending Kim sprawling onto the floor. “Go home.”
Kim sat there on the ground for a few seconds, stunned. Finally she stood up. Walking to her room in the house, Kim picked up the first shirt she saw and slipped it on. When she opened the front door, waiting patiently outside for her was Tigger. He tilted his head to the side and whined, as if to ask Kim if she was alright.
“I'm o-okay,” Kim gave the dog a watery smile. He licked her hand and whined, asking another question again.
“Yeah.” The redhead nodded absent-mindedly. “Can you take me to the tweebs?”
Tigger stood up, wagging his tail furiously. He didn't know what ‘tweebs’ meant… but it sounded like going home! He trotted off a bit, stopped and looked behind him to make sure Kim was following. Without a second glance behind her, Kim followed the german shepherd.
If Kim had taken one last look, she would've seen a dried-eyed Shego. The fiery brunette had lost the ability to cry. But she couldn't stop the natural reaction of her body trying to empty her grief. Silent sobs heaved out of Shego's mouth, but tears refused to come. Kim's departure seemed to take the strength away from her as Shego's knees buckled under her own weight.
“Kimmie, Kimmie, Kimmie…” Shego repeated the mantra. She had gathered Kim's torn shirt into her arms, already feverishly wishing that they still encased their owner. It still had Kim's scent on it. The pale-skinned woman dropped her face into the material and bit down on the ripped clothes. Unable to cry, she screamed out her sorrow, the clothes successfully muffling her suffering.
Goodbye, love.
Goodbye.
end: This chapter was corny. I know. This is what happens when you listen to the Rent's soundtrack. Goodbye, love, goodbye love! Just came to say, goodbye love… goodbye. Ahahah. I love Mimi.