“There, you see?” Xaio Qing helped tuck a stray lock of Kim's hair behind the redhead's ear. “Now, listen closely and also watch my hands.” Tapered fingers touched the guzheng's strings, eliciting a beautifully simplistic melody from it. “Now, you try.”
Shego watched from her spot on the small bridge over the stream in the courtyard. With a small bucket in her hands, she would periodically dig her hand in, take out a small amount of fish pellets and throw it into the churning waters full of hungry carp. Since Kim had come back from the village, Xaio Qing had been paying extra attention to Kim. The snake demoness had sensed immediately when the monks had breached the barrier she had put up. She had watched all this with boredom, knowing that her elders would take care of it and didn't pay any mind to it. That was until she felt Kim's slumbering power suddenly surge as she tapped into that force that allowed her to act out against the monks.
‘Well, well… she continues to surprise me,’ Xaio Qing had thought lazily as she basked in the warmth of her room. Shego lay supine underneath her, in that state between sleep and wakefulness. Her breathing slow, almost nonexistant. Eyes stared straight ahead, unseeing. Xaio Qing smiled down at her favoured one. ‘You are right, as always. I will take her.’
Unaware of Xaio Qing's inner thoughts, Shego lay there, barely breathing.
The tiny hairs on the back of Shego's neck and arms rose up as each note was plucked successfully, watching Kim hesitantly play each note. Though tremulous and obviously not as good as Xaio Qing's playing, the notes were right. As the last note hung tremulously in the air, Shego's trained eye could see a sliver of light that hung just in front of the guzheng, then shoot forward weakly towards Shego. Alarmed, Shego threw up a small magical shield that disappated as soon as the attack bounced off it and into the water. Shego's angry eyes met Xaio Qing's silently laughing ones.
“Is she not amazing?” Xaio Qing almost squealed and hugged Kim, who replied with a toothy grin. The redhead was blithely unaware that she had just cast her first offensive spell. “That was excellent!”
“Coulda been better,” Shego snorted and dug her hands into the bucket of fish food. Looking down, it stunned Shego briefly when she saw the fish swarming in bloody water trying to eat the body of a carp--neatly cut in half. She looked up again to see Kim leaned over the guzheng, touching the strings and nodding as Xaio Qing answered Kim's questions thoroughly. Before, Xaio Qing would always have one eye on Shego, but now, her attention was all on Kim. Tonight, Shego knew, she would have to get things ready. Xaio Qing had already instructed her that this was to be. It was almost the full moon again… the last full moon that Xaio Qing would be able to stay at the house. The Green Snake had actually postponed her hibernation longer than usual…
Xaio Qing and Kim spent the entire day studying the guzheng until Shego called them for dinner. In the dining room, Kim was surprised to see a low oblong table had been set up in front of Xaio Qing's place on the raised dias. An incense pot had been set on the middle of the table and a flat bronze bowl in front of the pot. A bowl full of various fruits sat on one side of the incense pot and a plate of sweet steamed dumplings on the other side. Two red candles burned merrily on either end of the table. There was also a steaming pot of tea and a small cup next to it sitting nearby on the floor.
“Before we eat,” Shego spoke quietly in formal Chinese. “Xaio Qing will accept you as her disciple. You will have the privilege of calling her your shi fu; your master. She has deemed you worthy. Before Xaio Qing leaves for the winter, she has asked me to conduct this ceremony to set your mind at ease. Your next lessons can only be taught by Xaio Qing, for though I am proficient in these arts, I lack the skills to teach. Therefore, when Xaio Qing awakens next spring, she will dedicate her time to you.”
Xaio Qing had meanwhile, swept up onto her seat, looking like the cat who had just eaten the canary. She motioned graciously for Shego to continue the explanation.
“You will bow three times to your new shifu.” Shego instructed. “For she demands your respect, loyalty and obedience. As a disciple, you owe this to her.”
The redhead paused slightly and glanced at Shego in an unspoken question. Shego hesitated for just one second, before nodding once. Felt sick when Kim treated her to a trusting smile and walked up to the makeshift altar, accepting the sticks of incense Shego handed her. Bidding her to light them, Kim did as she was told. With incense in hand, she bowed thrice to Xaio Qing, who had reclined onto her side, propping her head up with an elbow. Sticking the three sticks of incense in the incense pot, Kim waited for further instructions.
“Now, you will offer a gift to your new shi fu. Usually, you would give a hong bao--red envelope money. This shows that you will support your shi fu financially.”
“But… I have nothing.” Kim suddenly felt panicky.
“I will accept something else,” Xaio Qing's voice lightly tripped over themselves like a babbling brook over pebbles. “Riches I have plenty, so this is ridiculous. But I will have this done correctly, for your sake of course. I will accept something else of yours that is red.” Xaio Qing's eyes lighted on Kim's pretty head. “They say… a woman's greatest wealth is her hair.”
Xaio Qing clapped her hands together, and when she slowly spread them; a pair of shears dropped from her hands onto the dias. She picked up these scissors and handed them to Shego. Shego accepted them, trying to control her emotions so they wouldn't be splayed all over her face. How wrong she felt about this. How she wanted to stop this right away.
How much she loved Kim's long red hair.
Shego didn't know she had been gripping on to the scissors until Kim's polite cough brought her back to reality.
“Its alright,” Kim said in English and smiled. Took the shears from Shego's numb fingers. Gathered her long red hair into a ponytail and cut as close to the scalp as she was able to.
“Into the bronze bowl.” croaked Shego. Kim complied readily. “Now you must pour a cup of tea and offer it to your shi fu. This offering is symbolic of how you will help your shi fu physically and empower her with your efforts.”
Kim poured out the tea with unshaking hands, and while wondering whether or not she should go around the altar, a flip of Xaio Qing's hands brought the cup floating towards Kim's new shi fu. Tossing her head back, Xaio Qing downed the scalding liquid in one gulp and grinned at Kim.
“I happily accept you, disciple. Happily.”
“Now, you must bow once more to your shi fu.” Shego managed to keep the shakiness out of her voice. “Then, you bow to your shi fu's other disciples.”
“Disciple.” Xaio Qing smiled winningly at Shego. “Disciple in the singular. I have but one other.”
Kim did as she was told.
“The ceremony has been completed.” Shego felt completely drained. But she had enough power to muster a shudder when she heard what Xaio Qing said to Kim.
“We will eat dinner now. I am sorry I cannot give you your gift tonight nor a written proclamation of my acceptance of you. But tomorrow night. I will give you your gift and we will begin our first lesson.” Xaio Qing had cleared the dining room magically and a clap of her hand sent plates of food barging through the door. “Now we eat!”
Dinner was a quick affair. Xaio Qing was too easily tired now and retired to bed early, not even bothering to clean up the dishes. Which left Shego and Kim to do it alone. This was one of the only times the two got to have alone, and they spent it in silence in the dim kitchen; one washing dishes and the other drying. Both tried to prolong the time they had together, content to stay quiet. But when Shego walked Kim to her room, there was an uncomfortable silence that demanded to be filled, and Shego caved to that need.
“You take care and do what she says, okay?” Shego's hand shot out to take Kim's. A gentle squeeze of that warm hand--Kim shivered when she felt the pad of Shego's thumb quickly and unmistakably rub the inside of her palm--then released. “You'll be alone here.”
“What?” Kim started. “Why? Where are you going?”
“I'll be at the village. Its time for you to have some ‘alone’ time with Xaio Qing.” Shego said wryly, doing a very good impression of the conversation she had with Kim a month ago. The newly-shorn redhead had the decency to blush.
“You could've told me you were training with Xaio Qing! If you say ‘alone time', that term leaves it very open to misinterpretations!” Kim stage-whispered.
“I imagine so…” Shego drawled sardonically, one eyebrow raised. When Kim sputtered and tried to give an explanation, she was quickly silence by Shego's light chuckle. The smile that followed was warm, hesitant and anxiously heart-rending. And as impossible as it was, it was all that all at the same time. “I'll be back in a few days.”
“Okay.” Kim wished she could say more, but before she could even find the words, Shego had already walked away.
She Cun was in a state of celebration to receive Shego. People all wanted to talk to her, clamboured to see her and inquire about her health, ask where Kim was, how she was, how Xaio Qing was…
And all Shego wanted to do was to be left alone. She felt sick. This sense of loathing she felt turned her stomach and all the sweet foods that were held to her lips tasted like ashes. When did this mysterious sickness start? It stemmed from that night with Kim, but that wasn't it. It was also in conjuncture to how she treated Kim afterwards, and that knowledge at the back of her mind… coupled with the sweetness of Xaio Qing's voice and the heavy burden of what she was doing.
‘I just mess everything up. Everything.’ Shego sat in the clearing where she and Kim had reconciled. It was quiet. It was beautiful.
It was so not the place Shego needed to be.
Here, alone, her demons tortured her, her wandering conscience had come home with a vengeance. Asked her, with a slow condescending tone, if what she was doing was right. Right. She had never bothered with discerning between right and wrong before. But, here she was. Thinking. Rolling the consequences of her actions, over and over in her mind. Over and over. And that churning feeling in her stomach didn't lessen, only grew worse.
Ashes in her mouth.
She spat out that dry taste, tasted something sour and wiped her mouth.
So many things she was keeping from Kim, and the guilt was killing her. But for all of this to work… Kim must not know. Shego stared up at the sun, squinting as the rays sent sharp refreshing pain shooting through her eyes to her brain. But she resolutely kept her eyes open and stared at the sun until black spots dotted her vision.
“Shego!” A cheerful cry pulled Shego's eyes away from the sun, and the depressed woman made out Ting Ting running towards her happily… and Fong.
“Ting Ting.” Shego's arms were ready to embrace the young girl. Ting Ting had grown, as children would, in the time she had been away from the village. How long had she been away? She Cun and Er Mei both ran on a different time frame than the outside world and each other. A month on the outside, between new moon to full moon, was 30 something days. Here, between new moon and full moon, it was way more than 60 days. As Xaio Qing's powers grew, the days stretched out longer, tried to squish as much sunsets and sunrises as possible into the cycle of the moons, and Xaio Qing's circle of power and influence increased. All that resided in Xaio Qing's power aged according to the outer world time… But suns rose and set, days past. Longer. And longer. Xaio Qing was testing her powers, giving all those under her domain a sort of eternity that she constantly twisted and tried to master. It was like that William Blake poem… sure, when he wrote his poem, he couldn't've had Xaio Qing in mind. But it was so good at describing Xaio Qing's power as of right now.
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand… And Eternity in an hour…
“Shego.”
Shego felt her chest tighten at Fong's voice. “Michelle.”
“What's wrong?”
Even after not seeing each other in so long, Fong was in tune to Shego's moods. She had seen that forced smile that Shego flashed the crowds and her quick withdrawal to the clearing for some alone time. Had noticed that tense stiffness in her spine and the exhaustion at the corner of her eyes. Fong could see Shego was losing weight. Her normally pale face helped disguise how sick she was, but Fong knew. Just didn't know that Shego was sick from worry. Weak from Xaio Qing's tapestry.
“Nothing.”
“Don't lie, you can't hide from me.” Fong came to Shego's side and knelt down beside her. She was shocked when she saw tears pouring out of Shego's eyes.
“Its… the sun.” Shego wiped at her eyes angrily, trying to banish the tears. But they kept coming. And a sob tore itself from the woman's throat. Ting Ting looked up at Shego with huge watery eyes and hugged the green-and-black garbed woman ferociously.
“And the dust too, Shego?” Fong asked sympathetically.
Another sob choked Shego's answer, and she nodded her head.
“Are you cold?” Fong asked softly. Even though it was still a warm fall day, Shego nodded. Under the pretense of warming Shego up, Fong wrapped her arms around Shego's shaking shoulders as the tears poured out endlessly.
“Shego,” Fong was helpless in the face of Shego's despair. The woman had always been strong! She had never seen her cry before, not like this… “Shego, what's wrong?”
“Michelle… I'm so glad… God, so glad you married Cheung.” Shego half-laughed half-sobbed.
“Shego?” Fong never understood why Shego didn't let her go to Er Mei. But now she understood a bit better, could believe that Shego hadn't wanted to let her go. What could have made this normally strong woman so distraught?
“What's wrong, Shego?” Fong asked, trying not to let the desperation creep into her voice. This was the woman she loved. Fong knew she was so dangerously close to that line that had been drawn… leaning over it. But she didn't care. She wanted it. But she needed Shego to need her. Shego curled herself tighter around an unprotesting Ting Ting. It was confusing for the child to see someone who was usually so strong, so sure of herself… so lost. The only thing Ting Ting knew to do in a situation like this was cry along with Shego, feeling the woman's pain horribly, empathizing with the woman as only a child would.
“Shego,” Fong said her name pleadingly.
Shego just shook her head, refusing to answer. Refusing to look at Fong. Because if she did--just being this close to her and feeling that aching yearning for her--oh god, she was so weak. Maybe in view of all the wrong things she's been doing, she can do some things right. Like not ruin Fong's marriage. Shego buried her head in Ting Ting's head of hair, away from Fong's temptingly open face. Helpless, Fong could only hug Shego and rock her gently as she cried.
The day had been carefree. Shego had left before Kim had even woken up. Kim had ate breakfast alone(prepared in advance by Shego), and decided to go to the marsh course. The different poses she relaxed into on top of those poles gave her a kind of serenity, the balance she attained on top of those poles centered her being. On top of these poles, she pondered the mystery that was Xaio Qing. Nam Ho and the monks’ appearance had left her with a clarity she hadn't realized she didn't have. And it finally made her feel fully in control, like back then when she was Kim Possible, saving the world with her friend Ron and his naked molerat Rufus. When Shego and Drakken was her archnemesis’. Back when Kim was confident in her ability and her position as the girl who could do anything.
‘How could such a flake be as dangerous as Nam Ho says?’ Kim thought. And indeed, her new shi fu was for lack of a better word, a flake. Xaio Qing was extremely playful and didn't seem to deserve the reverence that Shego treated her with. While Shego worked hard to train Kim, Xaio Qing worked equally hard at goofing off and having fun. The power she wielded seemed harmless to Kim. She used it to play pranks, from causing sporadic storms when Shego was outside, to parlour tricks like pulling flowers out of her sleeves, or coins and jewels from Shego and Kim's ears and mouth. There was also her guzheng, but Kim couldn't decide whether Xaio Qing was intentionally befuddling her or not. And if she was intentionally clouding her mind, was it for fun or did Xaio Qing do it with malicious intent?
To Kim, Xaio Qing was just a big harmless puppy. But what about how Shego seemed so… fearfully respectful? And how the monks worried? But what about how the villagers treated their protector on a mountain like a god who could do no wrong? Plus her own misgivings. And Xaio Qing's friendly nature.
‘Jim and Tim… Ron and Monique…’ Her thoughts drifted to her brothers and her friends. They were looking for her? Nam Ho's offer had been so tempting. It would be so easy to just leave and go. Kim balanced in the crane position. She wanted to see them. But she can't. She couldn't leave. If Xaio Qing was dangerous, and she was in danger, then that meant everybody who had a connection to this powerful woman was in danger also.
There was something she wasn't quite getting, some blatant clue she had missed.
How well did Kim know Xaio Qing anyways?
Running a hand through her short hair, she shook her head experimentally, marvelling at how much lighter she felt.
Xaio Qing didn't wake up until it was time for dinner. She dismissed Kim's makeshift dinner (Kim had used the ingredients she had in the kitchen to make sandwiches) and conjured up her own. It was a delicious meal that consisted of all of Kim's new favourite dishes in Er Mei.
“Tonight will be the last night I will be here,” Xaio Qing informed. Her voice was slow and lethargic. “I have stayed too long. We will conclude the contract that we had started yesterday, after dinner of course.”
Dinner was a quiet affair, as Xaio Qing seemed to be able to concentrate on only one thing at a time, and right then, it was eating. She tried at conversation, asking Kim what she did during the day. Kim would answer the questions, but she could tell Xaio Qing was only half-listening.
“I could do the dishes tonight--”
“No.” Xaio Qing waved her hand in one motion, and the dishes disappeared. “We shall commence. I must leave soon.” The snake demoness’ voice was hoarse and raspy.
‘Her voice sounds like… autumn.’ Like leaves in the wind… like… snake scales against the ground…
“Come, you shall take a bath and retire to your room. I shall get everything ready.” Kim had hardly ever heard that commanding tone she heard now in Xaio Qing's voice. Neither had she seen Xaio Qing as she was now… the movements of the normally supernaturally graceful woman was not there. Instead, it was replaced by a jerky tiredness, as if her body was being tugged about by a string. As if her skin didn't fit her quite right.
“If you're tired--” Kim didn't know why she was stalling, was surprised that she was. All she was aware of was this relunctance to go anywhere with the snake and her instincts screaming at her to try her best to avoid whatever was going to come next.
“No.” The voice was firm. “You will do as I say.” Then Xaio Qing's voice took on her usual playful tone, but it didn't make Kim feel any better. Instead, it did the opposite and rang every internal warning bell Kim had. “What is wrong, Kim?”
“Nothing.” Any other answer, and Kim knew, just KNEW something bad would happen.
“Then I will see you later!” Off the dias, Xaio Qing walked slowly to the door. When she had left, Kim made her way to her own room, gathering a change of clothes and trying to shake the ice-cold fear that had gripped her. She made her way through the dark courtyard to the bath, quickly stripping and slipping into the steaming murky waters. The candles around the room that normally gave the bath a romantic kind of feel cast too many shadows for Kim's liking. This was the first time she had been without Shego up in Er Mei. First time she had been alone with Xaio Qing.
Kim had to drag herself out of the warm water, shivering when met with the air that was significantly cooler than the bathwater. She quickly towelled off the moisture on her body and put on her clothes. Kim was scared. She didn't know of what. But Kim wasn't one to run away from things. She padded softly back to her room, and just as Kim touched her bed, the slow seductive music of the guzheng started. Low, deep notes that resonated within her and made her suddenly struggle to stay awake, struggle to control her suddenly clumsy body, but she couldn't. Falling forward onto the bed, she was conscious… or she thought she was. She was in that state between sleep and wakefulness, the state where she was aware but could not engage her environment, could not…
The door was opening slowly.
“Kim?”
Kim's attempt to answer was an indiscernible noise. At that sound, Xaio Qing chuckled. And Kim was aware of something… SLITHERING towards her.
“This is my promise to you, Kim Possible.” Paralyzed on the bed, past the haze in her brain and the sound of her heartbeat in her ears, Xaio Qing's voice cut through all of that. It was Xaio Qing's voice, yet it wasn't. This voice, instead of the gentle teasing voice Xaio Qing usually used, this voice boomed with power. “You have pledged yourself to me and I will dedicate myself to you. I will teach you the secrets stored deep within me and you shall know greatness. As proof of my sincerity to take you under my wing, I shall provide you with a part of me. My signature shall be upon you, and those that look upon you and seek to harm you will know true fear. I shall come to your aid with no thought on mercy; my wrath shall be terrible and I will destroy those that dare touch you. I give this to you, my disciple, happily. Gladly. Your enemy shall be mine; I shall hate with an unquenchable fury.
I ask only one thing from you. Your swift obedience in this, I command. For I honour you with my love, you shall honour me with yours. No other shall you love more than I. I ask nothing more than that. If you disobey me in this, your punishment will be fast and horrible.”
On the bed. Something had slipped on to the bed…
“AH!” Kim's surprised scream woke her body up, as something unbearably hot yet indescribably cold was pressed into her spine. She pressed herself against the mattress, trying to scramble away from that strange intruder that she could feel burrowing into her… It burned and blazed, until it was nothing but a dull throb. It wasn't pain she felt, yet neither was it pleasure. It was a heady mix of something that seemed to make her tongue feel thick and her limbs heavy with something rushing through her veins, incorporating itself into her being. It was… it was… wonderful. This, Kim was sure, was how it must feel like to fly.
“THAT is something only I can give you.” Xaio Qing's voice seemed to be whispering right next to her ear. “Do you feel that? That is POWER.”
Kim's only answer was to groan into the sheets as everything finally overwhelmed her, all her muscles tensed in an excrutiatingly painful moment, then she relaxed, senseless on her bed. There on Kim's back, a single speck of something that glowed green dully, then vanished from sight. It was hidden, but it was there. One scale grafted onto Kim's back. One of Xaio Qing's scales.
“Until you grow your own.” Xaio Qing watched Kim's breathing even out before leaving. Her body moved eerily as she got off the bed, exiting the room, the house; and through the gates to where the ground writhed with thousands of snakes on their way up Er Mei. Their destination was the hibernation cavern of the greatest one of them all. There, they would curl up into one great pulsing mass and sleep the sleep of the dead.
Clothed in only the silk sheet Shego had wrapped her in when she had arrived that spring, Xaio Qing stepped out onto the mat of serpents and began her pilgrimage to the top of Er Mei.
endnote: Clamouring for explanations, right? Okay, I'ma give you this. I was actually thinking of holding out til the very end. LoL. Well… I actually didn't give you guys much… but I'm pretty sure a couple of you are at KPslash board discussing WTF am I writing? lol. Okay, love you guys mucho.