“Let’s call it a day,” Shego suggested as she closed the journal. She was not really ready to leave. She would have liked to read through the night, but there was one bump in that road.
“Huh?” Kim said in a very dazed tone; she had been nodding off and that was the reason why the thief suggested that they should call it a night.
“We’ll pick it up again tomorrow,” the pale woman said.
“Why?” the college student asked with a yawn.
“Because you’re sleeping with your eyes open and it’s creeping me the hell out,” Shego answered quite seriously.
Kim had been sleeping with her eyes almost completely open and the only reason that Shego noticed that she was sleeping was because the hero began to lightly snore. It was rather disturbing to see and she figured that it was about time to stop if the girl was so tired that she was out with her eyes open. The redhead had not even realized that she had been asleep.
“Oh,” Kim said in a surprised tone. “Yeah, I’ve been up for roughly twenty six hours,” she explained sheepishly while holding in another yawn. She was zapped; she needed to hit the sack.
“Go to bed. I’ll let myself out,” Shego stated. She was surprisingly all right with the fact that her host had to go to bed, even though she would have liked to continue reading the journal. The day had gone so well that she was mellowed by it.
“Sounds good. Later,” the redhead yawned again.
Kim waved slightly as she got up and stumbled toward her bedroom. It did not occur to her that she was leaving her foe alone in her living room and anything could happen. Shego had already broken into the place a few times, so Kim figured that if the super-powered woman was going to do something, she would have done it by now.
The green-skinned thief picked herself up from the sofa to get ready to leave. She glanced around the apartment as she often did when she was there by herself. It contained all of the things that she expected Kim’s apartment to have, pictures of family and friends, computer and desk, a few souvenirs from her adventures, and tons of books; so many books that they were just stacked in the corner because there was no space on the bookshelf anymore. Nothing helped Shego figure out what she wanted to know about Kim, which was the direction that the slim adventurer was going in.
The pale woman wanted to know what Kim was going to do with her life and she had wanted to know that for a few years. The reason that she wanted to know was simple to her, she was a warrior and she thought that she had a good rival in Kim if she applied herself. She wanted Kim to go down the path of a warrior, or at least that she told herself she wanted. It was what she wanted in the past at the very least.
Spending a little time with the speedy redhead, Shego considered that maybe she did not want to know where Kim was going. There was something about the way that Kim lived that made her consider that was the way Kim was supposed to be. The olive-eyed girl was supposed to be hyper and all over the place. Kim was meant to be light from the sun, shining everywhere that she could and not like a laser, focused into a thin beam. It was actually fascinating.
“Kim Possible is not fascinating,” Shego admonished herself. Kim Possible was either someone that would one day prove a true challenge for her or was nothing at all, she told herself.
She did not acknowledge the fact that Kim had to be somewhat fascinating because she had plans for the girl. If the redhead held no interest to her, she would not care about what Kim was going to do with her life. She would not dumb herself down when she fought Kim. She would just injure the girl badly, enough to get her to stop playing hero, and move on with her life. So, the olive-eyed girl seemed to be just a little captivating, even if the pale female did not want to admit it to herself.
Kim would have understood Shego’s frustration if she was aware of what the green-skinned woman was going through. She did not want to think of her foe as an interesting person, but it was too late for that. She was there already, thinking about how she did not know anything about Shego or how Shego was not anything like the person she assumed. She also could not get over the fact that the older female had cooked for her.
No one had ever cooked for Kim before, aside for her mother of course. Even for the very brief time that she was dating Ron, he never cooked for her. Kim felt strange through out dinner too, but she did not say anything and she hoped that she had that fact somewhat. She had complimented Shego on her cooking that night, which had shocked the pale woman enough to make her almost blush. They were acting odd around each other, but they were only realizing that the other was acting strangely.
…Sheshona is slowly opening up to me. I am not sure why, but she seems less hostile with me, which I am thankful for. Perhaps she has finally come to accept that I am only here to help her. She might be slowly getting ready to accept that she has a sickness and she wishes to change it. I do not know if she has made it that far, but I am learning new things about her, which is pleasant.
She is not the sadistic woman that I had first assumed, but she does have an odd sense of humor to her. She enjoys being verbally ironic and she brings this quality out in me on occasion; I was unaware that I could be in such a state. She still has that glint in her eye as she watches me, but I am no longer unnerved by it. I am intrigued…
Sheshona stepped into her doctor’s officer and noticed that the doctor was sitting at her desk and not at the couch as she had been doing for the past couple of weeks. It looked like the redhead was handling some heavy paperwork; the redhead was writing on one page while glancing to her left at another page. She stared at Kimberly for a few moments since she thought that it would be a good way to spend her free time.
The raven-haired woman thought that Kimberly’s expression was lovely. She looked a bit stressed, but it was still an adorable expression. Her brow was furrowed and she was slightly frowning from the frustration brought on by the small pile of paper in front of her. The pale woman could tell that her darling doctor could not stand paperwork; she was obviously no bureaucrat. Sheshona could understand that; Kimberly had signed up for healing and helping more than likely and had not counted on the paperwork when she had first become a doctor.
Kimberly seemed to sense that her patient was in the room seconds after she entered; the doctor appeared to have good instincts, Sheshona noted because of how quickly the redhead noticed her. Kimberly informed her patient that she would be with her in a moment; she just had to get some of the paper out of the way. She had to stop letting the work pile up like she did, Kimberly silently berated herself; but, she hated it so much.
Sheshona decided to flop down on the exquisite sofa against the wall while her doctor finished up. She put her feet up and lounged; the sofa was better than the bed in her room. If her doctor took more than a couple of minutes, she was going to sleep.
“And where am I to sit?” Kimberly inquired as she walked over to join the pale woman. She looked down at how her patient was laid out completely across the couch and there was no space for her.
“I wouldn’t complain if you were to lay on me,” Sheshona replied with a smirk and she motioned to her torso as an invitation for the physician to rest on her. She hoped that the doctor took her up on her offer, but she doubted that the little redhead would do such a thing. She put the proposal out there just in case.
“Statements like that will have you visiting me for the rest of your days,” Kimberly pointed out to discourage her patient’s behavior. She was still looking to check and weaken her patient’s attraction to the same sex, even though she was looking to get to know the pale woman better. It did seem that Sheshona was a sexual creature, even when she was not trying to be extra-guarded.
“My life spent staring at that lovely face? Once again, I shan’t complain,” the raven-haired female commented with a content smile.
“I’m sure there would be some disagreement when the face grows old,” Kimberly retorted because she figured that if she always had a comeback on Sheshona’s remarks, it might get her to stop making such comments.
“I would merely be rid of you then,” the emerald-eyed female replied in a slightly light tone. She wanted to be speaking the solid, stone-cold truth, but it came out as a joke. It was like her mind was disagreeing with the words and decided that the words would be in jest rather than serious. She was supposed to be able to leave a conquest with ease, but it seemed that her mind was not on board for that plan now. She tried not to think about why, but she did want to know the reasons for her mind betraying her usual behavior.
“Is that what you do? Leave once a person no longer holds your interest?” Kimberly inquired.
“Why stick around if I am no longer amused?” Sheshona countered with a teasing smile.
“So, you just leave no matter what?”
“It is safer that way,” the raven-haired female answered with a shrug.
“Safer for whom?” the redhead asked.
“Others.”
“Wouldn’t it be safer for you too?” Kimberly asked.
An independent woman like Sheshona probably would not want to get close to anyone, perhaps out of fear that the could tie her down and somehow take her freedom. She probably did not want to grow dependent on someone, the physician considered. She supposed that Sheshona took women as lovers because she could leave them and they could not do much about it; no woman was going to openly complain that she had been left by her female lover. Being with a man would undoubtedly be different.
A man would want Sheshona to himself and more than likely in the house. She would be limited with what she could do and Sheshona seemed like the type that just wanted to do whatever came to mind when it came to mind. Married life would probably not be the ideal life for a woman used to taking care of herself, but that was the natural order of things and Sheshona had to understand that.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re playing my doctor right now. Well, doc, tell me why it would be safer for me too,” Sheshona sarcastically requested.
“You always get like this,” the redhead sighed and she shook her head a little bit.
“Like what?” the pale woman mildly snapped.
“So defensive when I merely try to make an observation on your personality. You always snap at me,” Kimberly replied.
Sheshona looked at her doctor after she said those words. She had heard similar sentences from other women and they always looked away when they said it, as if they were so very wounded by her personality or they were ashamed to have point such a thing out. But, Kimberly stared dead at her while speaking those words; she did not waver in the slightest. Most women would look ready to burst into tears as they spoke, but Kimberly looked like she was wanted some answers and she wanted them now. There was something boldly sincere about the doctor that Sheshona consciously decided that she hated; she had consciously decided that because the characteristic made her heart beat erratically and made her feel oddly.
“Because you act like you know everything about me,” the pale woman replied as to why she always snapped at Kimberly. She snapped at everyone and everything, but usually because they were imbeciles. She snapped at Kimberly because the redhead got on her nerves with all of her damned observations. She needed to stop being so damned observant or at least stop sharing them.
“I don’t know anything about you. I’m trying to learn,” Kimberly argued in her typically gentle tone, which was getting on her patient’s nerves too.
“Why?” Sheshona practically barked out the question, even though she was not going to give the other female the chance to respond. “Only because you’re being paid to, only because you want to cure me. There’s nothing wrong with me,” she declared. She wished the doctor would just leave her alone.
“I do it because I care,” Kimberly blurted out in a forceful tone. She was sick of her patient just barking at her for no reason and it seemed that she had broke.
The cranky pale female scoffed to show her disbelief and Kimberly looked away. The physician had not meant to state that she cared. She was getting rather close to her patient, maybe too close for her to be effective or for it to be ethical. It did not matter at the moment. If she was getting too close and even if she did care, she still wanted to cure Sheshona. Healing the pale woman was her main objective and her feelings only made her more determined. She wanted to be able to release Sheshona because she knew that the emerald-eyed woman needed to be free.
“Why can’t I care?” Kimberly asked after a long pause. She turned to look at her patient for her answer. She wanted the truth and believed that if she stared at Sheshona in those fiery emerald eyes, she would get just that.
“Because…” the pale trailed off. She did not know what to say. She also did not like that Kimberly watched her, waiting for the response.
The raven-haired female honestly just did not want Kimberly to care. She did not need anybody to care about her; she was getting along well in life without other people’s feelings sticking with her. Besides, the doctor was only being paid to talk with her and act like she cared. It was the redhead’s job. She would not care as she claimed to if Sheshona was not at the institution, the pale woman convinced herself.
“Sheshona,” Kimberly sighed and she finally sat down at the foot of the sofa, moving her patient’s legs. “Just because I am a doctor doesn’t mean I don’t care. Just because I’m your doctor doesn’t mean I don’t care. It typically means I care more than most. Yes, I do want to cure you, so I ask you these questions as a hope to get to understand your thinking, but I also ask because I want to get to know you. I am not being insincere in any manner. I would like to get to know you,” she explained.
“I want to know you too, doc,” Sheshona remarked with a lewd smirk on her face as she moved her legs to rest on Kimberly’s lap. She was trying to get them back on what she felt was the proper track, namely the doctor being uncomfortable while she made inappropriate remarks. It would eventually get them to where she wanted them to be, she believed.
The redhead shook her head. “Why do you hide yourself from me, even as you pretend to be out in the open?” she asked, still sounding so gentle and inviting.
Sheshona did not respond, but she did frown. Why did the doctor care? What did it matter what she did? It was none of the doctor’s business, so she should just let it go. Sheshona would like the doctor to just stop caring about her. It was getting under her skin and bothering her more than anything else had in a long time.
The emerald-eyed patient kept telling herself that the doctor was just a conquest, only a conquest. She was never open with anyone and she was not going to start now just because an adorable little redheaded doctor had shown her some false kindness. She was not that weak and she was not that stupid. She did not need anyone in her life that wanted to care about her, especially if it was going to keep bothering her as it was.
“Doc,” Sheshona said.
“Yes?” Kimberly replied.
Sheshona stared intensely at the doctor as she weighed what she was about drop. The words were necessary for both of them, but for her mostly. They had to sound like the stone-cold truth. She did not need her brain messing things up and trying to make what she meant sound like a joke. She needed to make the bothersome feelings go away, so her words had to be perfect.
“I hate you,” Sheshona stated as bluntly as possible; the words might as well have been slammed out of her mouth with a giant sledge hammer. She then got up and left the office before Kimberly could respond.
The doctor would not have been able to reply anyway because she appeared to be in complete shock. It felt like something inside of her had cracked and shattered into a trillion pieces as the door closed. She could not believe it; Sheshona hated her? But, why? Why would her patient hate her?
…I have done nothing to warrant her loathing, yet she stated so plainly and soundly that she hates me. What have I done to make her say such hurtful things to me and sting me as if she was the ruler of a hive? I nearly shed tears over such harsh words and the tone with which she spoke them.
How could she just say such a thing with that truthful look on her face? I have tried my best to be pleasant with her, to become friends with her, and I only wish to help her. I understand that she does not believe she requires the help, but does that mean that she should hate me? I do not believe so, yet she hates me all the same.
Did she say that just to hurt me? I suppose it worked as I lament over it, but why would she do that? I had come to understand that she was not sadistic or wicked like she seemed, yet she did this to me. Is she actually just want she seems to be? I still do not believe that she is a menace, but it does seem as if she desired to harm me. How could she just…why would she…Why does she hate me?
“She’s taking this rather hard,” Shego noted out loud. The doctor certainly was weepy over her patient just stating that she hated her. It was only her patient; she needed to let it go, in Shego’s “compassionate” opinion.
“Well, it does hurt to be told ‘I hate you’,” Kim pointed out to defend the woman she shared a name with. She had never experienced being told by someone that the person hated her, but she bet that it was a horrible feeling.
“Tell me about it,” Shego muttered.
Kim sighed; she had walked right into that one. She noticed that a lot about her prom night, which also came with a big emotional breakdown on her part, had gotten to Shego since the green-skinned woman kept alluding to that night. Maybe it would be best for them to talk about it, even though she had been trying her best to forget it. But, talking things over might be helpful to the both of them. She just hoped that the argumentative villainess agreed with that logic.
“Shego…I wasn’t myself that night. Now, I can’t excuse my actions, even though I wasn’t trying to kill you. I will admit that it did give me a frightening amount of pleasure to hurt you because I was so damn mad at the time. When I realized how I felt, it really, really scared me. I mean, I was really scared that for a few seconds I liked that I hurt you because I was so hurt. I was so afraid of that feeling that I took a long break from crime-fighting. I mean, I still helped out in disasters, but I left the crime-fighting to the people who were getting paid to do it. You know, it was like a crossroads in my life,” the redheaded hero explained.
“What makes you think I give a damn?” the super-powered woman inquired.
Kim chuckled a bit, even though the response was not funny, but it was expected. Shego cared, even if she did not want to admit it. That night seemed to trouble Shego greatly and Kim did not know why. Her behavior seemed to disturb the pale woman more than a little bit. The olive-eyed adventurer figured that she could help ease both of their minds by talking about it. She did wonder why Shego was so bothered, though. She hoped that after she explained herself, the green-skinned woman would do the same.
“I was so angry, so hurt with what happened. I mean, you and Drakken really toyed with my emotions that time, but once the night was over, I sat down and I asked myself was I really the type of person that got pleasure from hurting others? Until I had the answer to that question, I couldn’t even fight. I just didn’t trust myself. I was scared that I might be that type of person, that I might be a monster of some kind. It took a lot of soul-searching to decide that even if I was that type of person, I refused to be so anymore. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be that person and I went to train myself to calm myself and gain better control over my emotions. I didn’t want to one day find myself fighting anyone, especially you, and hoping that I kill you,” Kim stated.
“That’s good,” Shego muttered. At least the speedy pest had tried her best to come away from that dark side that she had been stepping toward. Yeah, that was good. She decided against addressing why Kim did not want to “especially” hurt her. They were getting a little too friendly as it was, so she did not want to know the reasons behind any odd words that Kim used. They probably did not mean anything and she did not want Kim to start thinking about it either.
“Why would you say that?” the redhead asked curiously. She had expected Shego to say something along the lines of “so?”
“No reason,” the super-powered villainess lied. She was not looking to explain herself to the irksome hero. She would rather just keep everything to herself and continue to move on with her life. They were not chums and they did not need to talk about every little thing.
“Come on, Shego. This has been eating at you. I know it has. Tell me. Why has it been bothering you?” Kim asked.
“It hasn’t,” the older woman insisted.
“Don’t act like this. Tell me. You know you want to,” Kim urged. She was certain that her foe wanted to get the events of that night off of her chest.
“Shut the hell up. What the hell do you know about what I want to do? So, just leave me the hell alone and let’s read the stupid ass journal, so I don’t have to see your ass again like this. Damn it,” Shego snapped and Kim looked rather hurt by those words.
Shego told herself that she did not care how the redhead looked or if she was wounded. She did not have to share information with such a disappointing little pest. She did not owe Kim anything. They were enemies for crying out loud.
Next time: Can the Sheshonas fix these screw-ups?