The next few days for Kim went by in a blur again. She was often unfocused and easily distracted. Mostly because she was distracted by thoughts about what had gone on between her and Shego. Especially how Kim had felt around Shego towards the end of their time together. All of it was just making her feel very uncomfortable. Mostly because she had no idea of what it really meant. And that’s what scared her most. Not knowing.
Although, the only ones who really noticed that, were Monique and Felix. However, they didn’t say anything because they both felt that it not only wasn’t something that they could help with, they didn’t have any idea of what could be making Kim so unfocused. So, they agreed that as friends, they needed to get Kim to tell them what was going on. So, Monique decided to try to get Kim to agree to go somewhere with her. Just the two of them so that they’d be able to talk and hopefully Kim would let her know what was going on. After all, it could be something really simple that wasn’t even very serious. But, the thing is that it could be very serious, and Monique was just worried that if it was something serious, that she might not be able to help.
Kim was just finishing up with cheer practice on Wednesday when Monique came up to her. “Hey Kim!” Monique called.
“Hey, Mon.”
“Kim, I was wondering if you would like to go with me out Friday. I know of this great place. It’ll just be you and me!”
Kim didn’t know what to say. “But, I thought that you and Felix usually went out every other Friday.” Kim wasn’t sure why, but something seemed a little… odd.
“Don’t worry. Felix and I agreed to take a week off. Besides, the reason we went out every other Friday was because Felix and Ron played their video games every other Friday.”
“So, now both of you will probably be going out every Friday?” Kim didn’t know why, but it seemed almost as if Monique was up to something.
“Well, not EVERY Friday, but yeah. Basically.”
“Then what’s the real reason you want to spend time with me?” Kim was wanting to know. After all, Monique could be quite annoying when she was up to something and Kim wasn’t sure she’d have time to deal with her when she’s like that.
Monique looked shocked. “Kim! Why is it that you’re suspicious of me?”
That clinched it. She was definitely up to something. “Because you’re up to something, Mon.”
“Kim, out of all the times that we’ve shared, how can you accuse me so unfairly like that?”
Kim gave Monique a level gaze. “Because out of all that time, I’ve learned to know when you’re up to something. What is it?”
Monique sighed. “Felix and I were talking and it got me thinking about what could have caused you to suddenly get over Ron?”
Kim looked away absently. “I already told you. I was over at a friend’s and was able to get through it on my own.” Not exactly true, but it was all she was going to tell anyone about the details until she had sorted it all out herself.
“And how is it that I don’t know who this friend is?” Monique asked.
“Well, Ron knew them. So, isn’t that enough reason to trust me?” Kim asked, not sure if she’d be able to get away so easily.
“Kim. Ron isn’t here anymore, so he can’t back up your story. If he was here and backed your story up, then, yeah. It’d be enough to trust you. But, ever since he died you’ve distanced yourself from me, Felix, heck, even you even distanced yourself from your family.” Monique looked Kim straight in the eye. “So, until I see that you’re back to your usual self, I’ll need more info from what you do and what’s going on.”
Kim smiled. It wasn’t that Monique was trying to be nosy, it was that she cared about Kim and was wanting to make sure that she wasn’t getting into something that she shouldn’t. However, Kim wasn’t sure about if it was something that she shouldn’t get into, so she needed to come up with something to keep Monique from knowing too much right now. “So what do you want to know?” Good question. Won’t give out any details that Monique didn’t think to ask about, while still making certain that she’d be able to satisfy Monique’s curiosity.
“Well, first, this ‘friend’ of yours. Is it a guy?”
Kim could have slapped herself. Did she actually try to pull that? “No, Mon. My friend is a girl.”
“Hmmm.” Monique didn’t say anything for a while, which made Kim wonder if she had been hoping that it was. “And Ron knew her?”
Kim nodded, then got an idea of what to say that might make Monique stop her questions long enough for Kim to escape. “I can’t say for sure if you have seen her, but I’m pretty sure that you heard Ron talking with me about her.”
“So he had been interested?”
Kim shook her head. “Not like that. Maybe when we first saw her, but outside of that, he wasn’t really interested.” Kim paused as she thought a little more about it. “At least I don’t think he was.”
Monique didn’t say anything more. She just thought about it some more. “Um, Monique, I need to get going. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Kim asked, already moving towards the door.
“Okay. And remember: Friday!” Monique called after Kim.
Monique watched as Kim disappeared behind the doors. Kim definitely was hiding something . And that something had to have occurred when Kim stayed at that ‘friend’s’ house. After all, that’s when the sudden change came over Kim. It was almost as if… Monique’s mind trailed off as she came to a realization. Kim had a new crush!
So, Kim was finally that much over Ron at least. Now all Monique needed to know was who Kim’s friend was, so she could find out who else was at that friend’s house. Which would then let Monique know who Kim might be crushing on. Felix might be able to help, but Kim could be tricky. Who Monique needed to talk with was Wade. He’d be her surest bet. After all, helping Kim out with her love life should be fun! At least as long as Kim wasn’t aware of it.
As Kim made her way out of the school and towards her home, she heaved a sigh of relief. At least she was safe from Monique’s prying curiosity until Friday. That gave her some more time to sort out her own feelings, while also coming up with ways to avoid the scrutiny that Monique would be giving her. Kim sighed as she let that train of thought go. What she really needed to be focusing on was what exactly happened between her and Shego. Yeah, Kim got that Shego liked her, maybe even loved her. But, was it really the serious kind of love, or was it more of a sisterly kind of love? After all, Shego didn’t try anything with her, so Kim couldn’t be completely certain about that. However, it could be that Shego didn’t try anything because she didn’t want to hurt her.
Kim shook her head. All she really knew was that she wouldn’t be able to figure out how much Shego truly cared about her without talking directly to Shego. All she could figure out, all she SHOULD try to figure out was how she really felt. Kim thought back to when she didn’t want Shego to leave at night. What were the reasons behind that? Was she just purely emotional that night, or was it something more? And what was with the thought about her wanting to just be near someone she loved? Did she really, truly, love Shego? And if so, what kind of person did that make her to do that so quickly after what happened to Ron?
Kim sighed. There really wasn’t much she could do about that, but maybe going out with Monique and just trying to hang might give her a better perspective. After all, it seemed to help her with getting over Ron. At least in the getting away from her usual routine part. Kim was able to smile fully as she finished making her way home. When she arrived, she decided that it was time to start getting back to what she had started with Ron. It was time to start up the missions again. However, since Wade still hadn’t turned his system back on she’d need to call him. And Kim decided that she’d need someone to take Ron’s place. And she had a specific person in mind. She just hoped that they’d agree.
Friday came all too quickly for Shego. karaoke night was always the one night of the week that she dreaded most. Yeah Drakken could sing, but she’d be often left bored to death. After all, it wasn’t a good place to try to read, since it was kinda hard to concentrate with all the noise going on. Dr. Drakken may also be a good singer, but the songs he knew really weren’t any songs that she was interested in. Shego turned towards the door, fantasizing about being able to walk out without Drakken getting upset.
Finally, she sighed and laid her head on the table. If Drakken did as well as he usually did, she was in for a loooong night. Which seemed to be very likely right now. Suddenly, Shego thought she heard a familiar voice talking behind her.
“I’m not sure about this, Mon. I-I mean, why karaoke?”
“Oh, come on, Kim! It’ll be great.”
Shego turned briefly and saw a familiar redhead with one of her friends, sitting down at a table not too far away. “I’m serious. Why did it have to be karaoke?”
“Why not?”
“Well, it’s just that out of all the places you wanted to go with me, why karaoke? I mean, when have we ever done karaoke before?”
“Exactly. It’ll be an experience.”
“If you say so.” Shego smiled. It seemed like she wasn’t the only one who didn’t really want to be here either.
“By the way, Mon, I was wondering if you’d be interested in taking Ron’s place as my sidekick,” Kim asked, uncertainly, after a few minutes of listening to the latest singer.
Shego was glad that Drakken had been paying too much attention at the singers that he hadn’t noticed Kim come in. After all, even with how much he loved karaoke night, he might just let it go if he could get a chance at taking out Kim. And even though it’d likely get Shego out of karaoke night, she’d likely then have to deal with the fact that her weekend would be completely ruined as she’d then either be on the run with Drakken, or she’d be captured again. Neither option was very appealing to her, especially if Kimmie chose to go to her house over the weekend.
“Me? Are you sure Kim?”
“Yes. I want to try and get back doing my missions, and I don’t want to do it without any backup,” Kim answered. “Besides, I don’t think Wade would let me go on any if I didn’t have any help.”
“W- well, I’ll need to think about it.”
“Thanks. While you think about it, I’ll talk with Wade about getting you set up.”
Shego smiled to herself. Kim was definitely getting back into the groove of things. Shego wondered if that meant that she’d have more or less time with her. Both options had their own advantages as well as disadvantages. Finally Shego sighed. It was something that she’d need to talk with Kim about later if she got the chance. Meanwhile, she could tell the conversation had already continued on between Kim and her friend.
“…at your friend’s place, was there anyone else there?”
“Monique, why do you want to know that?”
“Well, it’s obvious you’ve been crushing on someone, and I want to know who.”
Shego did her best to suppress her laughter. Kim had a new crush? And it happened when Kimmie stayed over at her place? That would then mean that she would be crushing on Shego if anyone. Even with her best efforts, Shego was unable to keep from chuckling silently. Fortunately, for her, Drakken still had all of his attention focused on the singers that kept changing every song.
“Mon, there wasn’t anyone else there. I assure you.”
“Uh-huh. And what am I supposed to assume then? That you just saw a movie and started crushing on one of the actors? I know you too well for that Kim.”
“Fine, Monique, yeah, I think I might be crushing on someone, but first I need to make sure about a few things,” Kim relented. Then after a pause, Kim continued, “Besides, that’s not the biggest problem.”
Shego was surprised. What did that mean? She was certainly glad that she was able to overhear this conversation that her favorite redhead was having.
“What is it then?”
A pause before Kim said, “If I am crushing on someone, what kind of person does that make me?”
Shego was floored and apparently, so was her friend. “What do you mean, ‘what kind of person does that make you?’ You’re not any different than the Kim I knew before Ron died.”
“But that’s just it! Ron died and now I’m here possibly crushing on someone else shortly after he’s gone!” Shego was certain that Kim was close to tears, but didn’t dare look because of how it might attract Drakken’s attention towards Kimmie. “I mean, I was his girlfriend, and his parents told me that he was planning on asking me to marry him after we both graduated.”
“Wait, are you saying that Ron was planning on proposing to you before you both started college?” Shego risked a glance over at Kim after they were quiet for a few moments and saw her nodding. “And you weren’t aware of this?”
“No. He apparently had done it all during time that we occasionally spent away from each other, and I didn’t know that he’d spent a lot of that time to try something special like that for me.” Now Shego could hear in Kim’s voice that she was crying. She felt her gut wrench as she listened to Kim. It was everything she could do to keep from rushing over to Kim to try and calm her down. She was not happy with being unable to do that.
“I see. So, when did you start having feelings for this person then?”
“I don’t know. I guess maybe I always had feelings for them, but it hadn’t come to the surface until after Ron died.”
“Kinda like when Ron let you know that…”
“I’m sorry Monique, I need to go real quick.” Shego saw Kim make her way over to the restroom then looked over at Kim’s friend and saw the pained expression. It was obvious that Monique wanted to go over to Kim and help her work through her feelings, but wasn’t sure what to do about all the complexities of it.
At least that would help Shego with what she wanted to do. Shego stood up and said, “I’ll be right back.”
“Shego! Where are you going?” Drakken whined.
“Where else?” Shego answered and walked over to the restroom, leaving Drakken moaning something unintelligent and that no one could understand as usual.
Shego walked into the restroom and looked around. If she hadn’t seen Kim come in here, she might not have known that anyone was in here. Shego listened intently as she made her way through the small restroom. Finally, she heard sniffing coming from one of the stalls. Shego stopped outside of it. She wasn’t sure that she really should be doing this, but couldn’t see what harm it would cause. “Feelin’ okay?” Shego asked softly.
Slowly the sniffing stopped and she heard Kim ask in a quiet voice, “Shego?”
“Yeah, princess, I’m here.”
The door unlocked and Shego was nearly knocked over as Kim came out and threw her arms around Shego. Shego was silent for a moment, lightly wrapping her arms around Kim. “Uh, what’s this about?” Shego finally ventured, unsure about this reaction. Especially considering that Kim had been upset a moment before, which Shego suddenly realized was probably WHY Kim was reacting this way.
Shego moved a hand up to stroke Kim’s hair as Kim answered her. “Just for a minute longer, please?”
Shego smiled. Even though she hadn’t expected this, she wasn’t complaining. Although, Shego hoped that Kim let go before her friend came looking for her. Finally, Shego felt Kim’s grip loosening. “Why’re you here?” Kim asked, taking a step back from Shego.
“I saw you rush in here after you were talking with your friend for a bit. I just came in to see if you were all right.”
“Thanks,” Kim answered, blushing a little. Shego couldn’t help but think about how cute Kim looked when she got embarrassed.
“So, why did you burst in here?”
“Me and Monique were talking and when she brought when Ron told me how he felt up. I just had to get out of there.” Kim paused for a moment then looked Shego in the eye and asked, “Do you really love me?” Shego was taken aback. What brought that question up? Kim however, took Shego’s silence as her response. “I see.” Kim turned away and Shego could tell that she was close to breaking out in tears again.
“Kimmie, you just caught me off guard there. Of course I love you. The real question is how do you feel?” Shego was already uncomfortable enough telling Kim that directly, but couldn’t see any other way out of it without hurting Kim even more.
Kim looked at Shego. “Really? You really do love me?”
Shego looked at Kim, a little confused. “Why are you asking that?”
“Well, you were just nice to me last Saturday, but didn’t show me how much you cared, so I wasn’t sure.”
“Kim,” Shego said flatly, having had enough of Kim’s strain of questions. “If I tried to do anything then, it would have been showing a lack of caring, because you were vulnerable. Even I wouldn’t take advantage of someone like that.” Shego moved over to Kim and put a hand on her shoulder. “I love you, but I’m also waiting for your answer.”
Kim sighed. “I think I love you, but I just don’t know how much right now.” Shego looked at Kim’s eyes and could see the inner conflict.
“How about we talk more about it tomorrow, Kimmie? I think your friend might start looking for you, and I don’t know if you’ve told her about me yet.”
Kim looked away. “No, I haven’t told her about you.” Kim paused for a moment before quickly continuing. “It isn’t that I don’t want to, it’s just that I’m not sure what they’re reaction will be.”
“Don’t worry about it, princess. I didn’t expect you to tell everyone about me.”
“But I want to!” Kim cried, then in a quieter tone, “I just…” Kim trailed off for a moment, then quickly finished her sentence. “I’m just not sure what they’ll say about it.”
“Kim, whatever they’ll say, won’t be any different now than it will be later on,” Shego told Kim firmly. “But, I will let you decide when to tell them.” Shego paused for a moment. “Tomorrow then?” Kim nodded and Shego started to walk towards the door to the restroom. This definitely was a worthwhile evening. As Shego reached the door, Shego asked, “Oh, by the way, when are you graduating?”
“The ceremony is in a couple weeks, why?”
“What day?” Shego pressed.
Kim thought for a moment. “Wednesday in two weeks. Why?”
Shego turned and started to leave when Kim called after her. “Shego! Why?”
Shego turned to face Kim, smiling mischievously. “You’ll see, Kimmie.” Shego then turned and walked back out of the restroom and walked back to where Drakken was sitting.
“What took you so long?” Drakken asked, clearly annoyed about it.
He probably wanted me to listen to him singing like he always does, Shego thought. Shego then looked at Drakken and said VERY softly, “Do you really want to know?”
Drakken paled at Shego’s response, knowing that the wrong answer could result in severe pain. “N- no of course not!”
Shego smiled. This would be a night to remember.
Kim woke up early Saturday, already knowing what she was going to do. After debating all night after leaving Monique and before she went to sleep, she had come to a decision. However, it would help if her heart would stop beating so fast. Kim just wasn’t sure if she’d get the reaction that she wanted. Heck, she wasn’t even sure if she really should do it in the first place. However, Kim knew that nothing ventured, nothing gained. Kim spent her time, after getting dressed, writing in her online diary, just purely excited for the day. Although, time seemed to be going even slower than it usually did, as Kim was done with her diary spill shortly after she started it. Kim confined herself in her room so that she didn’t disturb the rest of her family.
Finally, Kim heard her parents moving downstairs and then made her way down there. “Morning,” Kim greeted her parents, as she moved the refrigerator to get the milk for a quick bowl of cereal.
“Morning, Kimmie.”
“Mornin’ Kimmie-cub.”
Kim moved over to a cupboard and pulled out a bowl before she walked to the cereal box and poured herself a bowl and began to eat. Kim watched her parents finish making their morning coffee and their own breakfast. Kim finished her cereal quickly and then washed the bowl and spoon she used before making her way to the door so she could meet up with Shego at her place.
“Where’re you going?” Kim’s mother called after her, stopping her at the door.
“I’m heading over to a friend’s house,” Kim answered vaguely.
“The same friend you spent the night last week with?” Kim’s dad asked slowly.
“Yeah,” Kim answered, not picking up on the cues that her father was getting edgy.
“Will there be any boys over there?”
Kim froze. She had completely forgotten about how her father had issues with her seeing boys that he didn’t know about. “No dad, she lives alone. So, I seriously doubt that there will be any boys there, dad.” Not that I’d be interested in them, Kim thought to herself, heading out the door with a wry grin.
“Have fun, Kimmie!” James called after her. “Don’t forget to be back in the afternoon!” If Kim had looked back, she would have seen the suspicious look her mother gave her. As it was, she was already making her way to Shego’s at a light run.
Ann was skeptical about her daughter’s ‘friend.’ It all seemed too good to be true with this friend being able to cheer her up when her family did their best with no effect. Then with Kim acting strange all week, and now with her leaving so early in the morning like this, something was going on, and she was determined to find out what it was. After finishing her coffee, she made her way over to the telephone and dialed a number she thought that she’d never call. Wade’s. After a few rings, the phone picked up.
“Hello?”
“Yes, this is Ann Possible. I was wondering if I could speak to Wade.”
“Hold on.”
Ann waited patiently and after a few moments, she heard Wade pick up the phone, at which point the other phone was hung up. “Yeah?”
“Wade, I need you to tell me a few things about my daughter.”
“Um, okay…” Wade was clearly surprised at this, and didn’t sound like he knew how to respond. Ann wasn’t sure if she’d know if she was in his position. Finally after a few minutes, Wade asked, “What kind of things?”
“Like who this new friend of hers is.”
“New friend?” Apparently she hadn’t told Wade anything.
“Yes. She spent the night over at this friend’s place, but didn’t tell us who she is. All we’ve found out so far is that she lives alone.”
“Hmm. The only thing that Kim’s asked me to do is to start getting her some missions after she finds a new sidekick.”
“Do you think this new friend might be who she wants as her sidekick?”
“No, she said that she was going to as Monique, but she hasn’t said whether or not Monique wanted to or not.”
“Can you track her now?”
“Are you implying that I’ve micro-chipped your daughter?”
Ann was surprised. “Of course not. I know you’d never do something like that. You just always seem to be able to find her.”
For some reason Wade sounded a little uncomfortable. “Okay, just give me a moment.”
Ann waited patiently, wondering what could make Wade uncomfortable, as she heard him boot his system up. Another surprise for her, since she hadn’t known Wade to ever have his system down. Finally he got back on. “Well, the best I can tell you is that her Kimmunicator is in her room.”
Ann decided to ask Wade again, just in case he was hiding something. “Do you know where she is?”
“She’s moving through Middleton. I can’t say for sure, but it looks like she’s moving through a residential area.”
Ann could have smacked her forehead. That was so vague that it was next to useless. Of course Kim was moving through a residential area in Middleton. Where else did people live? “Where?”
“Well, I can’t tell you right now, because by the time you get there, she’ll already be gone. If you want, I can wait for her to…” Wade trailed off. Whatever the reason, Ann was certain that she wasn’t going to like it.
“What? What is it?”
“I’ve lost her. Wherever she is, something’s interfering with the tracking system. All I’m getting is some light static from some sort of radiation in the area.”
“Radiation?” Ann felt her panic start to rise, but quickly pushed it down. “What kind?”
“Nothing dangerous. I’m not sure why I’m picking it up, but it’s keeping me from getting a lock on Kim.”
“Where was the last place you had her signal?” Ann asked, walking over to where her keys were lying.
Kim was slightly winded as she reached Shego’s house. However, she was still feeling excited. Kim didn’t bother knocking, knowing that Shego had told her that she didn’t need to knock. After all, even though they’d made plans to meet today, Kim couldn’t be sure that Shego was there at the moment. Kim went in and lay down on the couch. As Kim stared at the ceiling, she felt the burst of energy she got from her excitement fade away, leaving her tired. She was soon asleep.
When Kim woke up, she nearly fell off the couch when she saw Shego standing over her, wearing her mint green pajamas, stirring what looked like a cup of coffee. “Sorry,” Kim said before she could think of something better to say.
“Don’t worry. I just noticed you here and checked to see if you really were asleep,” Shego said, making her way back to the kitchen.
“Um, so it’s okay that I fell asleep,” Kim asked, embarrassed about it.
“Sure. I said you could come over whenever you wanted. So, even if you stayed the night while I was out it’d be fine.”
Kim started to follow Shego into the kitchen, suddenly nervous as the moment was approaching. Shego stood over the sink, looking out the window. Kim watched her for a minute and then took a deep breath. Kim then walked up behind Shego and slipped her arms around her. Kim felt Shego stiffen in surprise, then relax. Slowly she turned around and put her hand under Kim’s chin to lift her face so she could look into Kim’s eyes.
Kim kept on getting more and more nervous. Finally, she just let impulse drive her and kissed Shego, molding her body into Shego’s, and felt the warmth of Shego’s lips spread throughout her body. Kim tightened her grip on Shego as she felt Shego respond in kind. Finally, after what seemed like several minutes, they broke the kiss. However, Kim wasn’t sure of when she saw a look in Shego’s eyes that she hadn’t even seen before. Shego seemed uncertain about something. “Wh-what is it?” Kim asked, uneasy about that look.
“Kim, are you sure that you want to go this way?”
“What?” Kim was surprised. Didn’t Shego WANT her to go this way? “What do you mean?”
Shego let her arms drop and Kim let go of Shego at the same time, fearful about what Shego was going to say. A sigh. Then, “Kim, I love you, but I think you’re moving on too fast.” Shego looked away into space. “I noticed that when you learned the truth about Eric, you attached yourself to your best friend. I wasn’t sure if you were on the rebound from then or not, but I guess in the end, it didn’t really matter since you two seemed to be getting along so well.” Shego sighed and then turned to face Kim again. “Now that you’ve lost him, it seems like you’re trying to reach out for the first person who shows you the love that you crave.” Kim watched Shego, her whole being filling up with dread at what Shego was saying. “I’m not sure if you realize this, but I think that you’re moving too fast for your own good.” Kim looked at Shego’s eyes, and saw the concern that they radiated.
Kim felt her body tremble as she murmured, “Wh- what do you mean, Shego?” Heck, even her own voice was trembling.
Shego sighed. “What I’m trying to say is that I think you’re just reaching out for whoever will show you love. Like you’re the type of person who loves to be loved, and if you have the feeling of being loved taken from you before you’re ready, you immediately latch on to something or someone that will fill the hole left in the absence of what you lost.” Shego wrapped her arms around Kim and pulled her into a tight embrace. Kim had the urge to push Shego away and run, but for some reason, she just melted into Shego’s arms and let herself be held by the older woman and wrapped her own arms around her. Kim felt Shego start stroking her hair as she continued. “I love you, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself like this. I mean, if you do love me and we get something started, things might be fine. But, if something happens to me, like a car accident or me getting struck by lightning and I die, then what’ll happen to you? I need you to wait until you’re sure that you’ve fully recovered from losing Ron. You might not feel it, but I can tell that you’re pushing yourself to be the person that could be loved, rather than the girl I fell in love with.”
Kim felt tears begin to fill her eyes. She wanted to say that the tears were from Shego caring so much about her, but Kim really didn’t have any idea of why the tears had emerged in the first place. All she could say was that she started to sob uncontrollably as Shego held her and stroked her hair. “Shhhhh.” Kim heard Shego whisper, soothing her.
Finally, after several minutes, Kim finally started to recover. “I’d love to be able to do all the things that I’ve thought about for the past year with you, but right now I can tell you’re just not ready emotionally to fully commit yourself to me.” Kim was about to protest, when she felt Shego’s hand stop stroking her hair and move to put a finger on her lips, essentially silencing her. “Hold on, princess. I’m not done yet.” Kim reluctantly waited for Shego to continue, and after a moment, her finger moved away and joined her other arm holding Kim. “Now, I know that you feel that you love me, and I’m sure you do. But, you also need to take care of yourself. I love you, but I would rather keep you at a distance if that’s what it would take to protect you. Especially with how you’ve been quick to let yourself hurt when it comes to helping others. If you really love me, then wait until you feel that you’re no longer upset about Ron.” Shego sighed. “I don’t want to wait, but I also don’t want to take advantage of you. I couldn’t deal with it if I ended up hurting you worse than you’ve already been.” Kim noticed a slight quivering in Shego’s voice that she hadn’t heard before. Ever.
Kim rested her head just below Shego’s. “I understand,” Kim whispered. “I’ll take my time.” Then they just stood there holding each other for a minute in total silence. Finally Kim asked in a whisper, “What told you that I was forcing myself this morning?”
Kim felt Shego smile. “Well, when you kissed me, it was like you were starving for affection of any kind. I-” Shego paused, before continuing in a quiet whisper, “I actually was scared for minute.” Kim could tell how much THAT confession cost Shego. “If you had been less forceful on the kiss, then I’d have known that you were fine.”
“Can I get a second try?” Kim asked.
Shego stiffened suddenly, and Kim knew the answer before Shego told her. “No.” A pause, then “Not yet at least.”
“Well, can I still hold you like this?”
Kim felt Shego relax. “Sure, princess. You can still hold me like this.”
Kim smiled. “Do you have any movies?”
Shego smiled. That would be a good change of topic from what they had been talking about. “Sure, pumpkin. They’re by the t.v. You can choose whichever one you want.”
Kim shook her head. “I want you to choose.”
Shego started chuckling. “Okay. You win. I’ll choose the movie.”