Shego woke up only because she felt someone breathing on her neck. She opened her eyes, which promptly widened.
Kim Possible was lying on top of her. Not Kimmie the toddler, but THE Kim Possible.
Shego then discovered a very important fact: never put toddler clothes on a person you expect to turn back into teen. It only left them looking silly and half-naked. She didn't mind the half-naked part, and the silly portion was amusing, but she didn't want Kim to wake up like this. Well, she did, just without the embarrassment.
“Kimmie,” Shego said softly in Kim's ear. “Wake up.”
“Mmm.” Kim shifted slightly, only to press her face into Shego's neck.
Shego indulged in that particular guilty pleasure for a few moments. “Kimmie,” she said again. “Wake up.”
“Mmm!” Now Kim's red hair draped itself over Shego's neck, tickling her to no end.
Shego decided to try a different tactic. “Ron's wearing your bra.”
“Mmm-WHAT!” Kim's head snapped up, just in time for Shego to slap a hand over her mouth.
“Welcome back, Kimmie. You wanna put something on now.”
Kim blinked, and a flush quickly worked its way over her face.
“Don't be embarrassed. Just put something on, before someone sees-”
Monique ran into the room. “KIM! You…probably don't wanna be wearing that diaper anymore… I'll just, um…grab some stuff from your room…”
“Please and thank you,” Kim sighed.
“I've scanned you three times already, Kim,” Wade reported a few minutes later. “It's like you said: the ray's effects were either temporary, or canceled out by something that happened to you. Eat anything you wouldn't normally?”
“No, just smaller, easily chewable portions,” Kim replied. “So is it safe to assume I won't be two again tomorrow?”
“If you were going to change back and forth, I think it would've happened sooner than it did. You should be back to normal.”
Kim shook her head. “I don't think I'll ever be normal again, Wade. Ron's seen me spit up, Monique has bathed me, I woke up on top of Shego this morning, and I almost got turned into a baby monkey.”
“You do remember the time you actually WERE a monkey?”
“Yeah, but I didn't think I'd have to worry about it anymore.”
“I hear you. But you can get past this, Kim. It'll be weird for a while, but you've faced off against embarrassment before and won.”
“Wade, I wet myself. Sometimes on command. Which reminds me, Ron is NEVER allowed to talk to toddlers again.”
“Way more than I wanted to know. But it's good to have you back, Kim.”
Kim smiled. “Good to be back, Wade.”
“On the plus side, this adventure has given me an idea for the website. We need to show people that you have a softer side.”
“Wade, no naked baby pictures,” Kim growled.
“I was thinking Pre-K, actually. More presentable, and people love pigtails. There's a shot of you and Ron on a slide that really speaks to me.”
“And what does it say?”
“'So it IS possible to go down a slide upside down and backwards.’ Also explains why his hair is stuck like that.”
“Ready…” Ron said, licking his lips.
“Set…” Monique added, flexing her fingers.
“Go!” Rufus squeaked.
Both of Kim Possible's best friends were soon engaged in a nacho-inhaling contest the likes of which Bueno Nacho had rarely ever seen. Rufus could only look on in awe as several containers of nachos gradually disappeared. Normally, he would've been right in the middle of it, swiping nachos where he could, but this was war, and he didn't want to lose an arm.
Besides, no way he was going to miss out on challenging the winner. There could be only one.
None of them noticed when the woman in a trench coat, shades, and a sombrero slipped into the booth beside Ron. Nor did they notice when Kim herself came in a moment later.
They did notice, however, when a brief but very noticeable flash went off, immortalizing their cheese-covered chins on film.
“This,” Kim said grandly, waving the instant photo in the air, “is what will make sure no one ever finds out about this weekend.”
Monique let out a hearty belch, signaling her surrender. “Kim, I am in no hurry to tell anyone that I now know how to change a mean diaper. And now that I have babysat, I will never do it again.” She paused. “Is that Shego in there?” she asked, nodding at the trench coat.
“Didn't want to be hit by any flying nacho bits,” Shego answered in a muffled tone. “Plus, I'm not sure they've forgotten me here yet.”
“Am I to understand that you asked us here to blackmail us into silence, KP?” Ron asked, looking hurt. “I KNEW Shego was influencing you!”
Shego rolled her eyes behind the shades. “If I was REALLY influencing her, you'd both be waking up naked in the school parking lot tomorrow with no memory of how you'd gotten there.”
Ron and Monique traded uneasy looks.
“She's kidding,” Kim assured them, shooting Shego an annoyed glance. “And that's not why I asked you to meet us here.” She took a deep breath. “We need to talk about these last few days.”
“So…you do remember everything?” Ron asked.
“Stupidhead,” Kim said simply.
Ron banged his forehead on the table.
“I'm even willing to forgive some of the mistreatment, RONALD, but there are some things that still concern me.” Kim reached across the table and patted Ron's head. “I'm sorry I spit up on you, Ron. I'm sorry I couldn't save you from Monkey Fist.”
“No big, KP,” Ron assured her. Hesitantly, he added, “Um…you forgot to apologize for calling me ‘stupidhead,’ too.”
Kim just grinned at him before turning to her best girlfriend. “Monique, I'm sorry I wet you, that you had to change me, give me a bath, and…um…sleep with me.”
“No big, girl,” Monique replied easily enough. “Although, I actually enjoyed the sleeping part.”
“And none of that feels awk-weird to you?”
“Well, sure. But it had to be done, and I shudder to think of how someone ELSE might have handled it, so I can live with it. If anything, I feel closer to you now, Kim. I wouldn't call that weird at all.”
Kim smiled and gave her a big hug. “You're the best, Mo-Mo.”
“As if it wasn't obvious,” Monique chuckled.
Rufus sniffled and wiped away a tear.
Kim patted his head. “Thanks for keeping me company all that time, Rufus. Sorry if I squeezed you too tight.”
“S'okay,” Rufus replied with a toothy grin.
“You better save whatever you were gonna tell me, Kimmie,” Shego interrupted. “That nerdy manager is giving me the eye.”
Kim nodded. “Who, Ned? Ron can distract him while we escape.”
“I don't know,” Ron said sullenly. “Maybe I'm too big a stupidhead for that. And no amount of the puppy-dog pout is going to make me budge!”
“How about another kiss?” Kim asked innocently.
Ron's eyes bulged out of his head. “What?”
“Oh, not from me,” Kim answered. “Shego told me about your little moment in DNAmy's lab.”
“That was no moment! That was sick and wrong!”
“Agreed,” Shego muttered.
Kim smirked. “Even if you could resist my puppy-dog pout…which I seriously doubt, by the way…I'm betting you can't resist it in triplicate.”
“Wha? AH!” Ron shrieked as he was suddenly hit by three puppy-dog pouts. “Put them away! PUT THEM AWAY! I'll distract Ned!”
“I think he's had enough, ladies,” Monique laughed. “Shall we?”
Shego quickly got up and headed straight for the exit.
“Don't take it personally, Ron,” Kim suggested as she stood. Impulsively, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You'll always be my stupidhead, anyway. Thanks for the spiffy overalls!” With that, she ran to catch up with Shego.
Ron sat there with a dazed look on his face, so he was easy prey for when Monique brushed her lips against his other cheek.
“You tell ANYONE about that and I'll deny it, Ron. But this weekend has taught me some things. You ever need a date for a dance, you got my digits. Who knows? I might even say yes.”
“So…all the times you yelled at me?”
“Oh, I meant them. Not taking them back, either. But I think I understand why Kim has stuck with you for so long now.”
“You mean my boyish charm?” Ron asked smugly.
“No, it's not that,” Monique said at once.
Ron deflated a bit.
“You're a loyal friend, a decent guy…and kinda cute, when the light hits you right.”
“Is it hitting me right now?”
“Nope. But I still like you, anyway.” She patted his cheek fondly before walking away. “Later, boyfriend,” Monique called over her shoulder.
Ron made his way over to the counter, where Assistant Manager Ned was watching him in awe.
“You just got kissed by two pretty girls inside five minutes,” Ned whispered.
“That's just how I roll, Neddy my man!”
Ned looked skeptical, and somewhat sympathetic. “Never gonna happen again, is it?”
Ron's face fell. “A man can dream.” He held in a sniffle as Ned clapped him on the shoulder. “A man can dream…”
Kim frowned as Shego stretched out on her bed. “We really need to work out some sleeping arrangements, Shego.”
“No, we don't. I'm still sleeping in your bed. You can either share with me or go on sleeping with Mommy.”
“It's my room!” Kim cried. “And my bed!”
Shego grinned. “I'll wrestle you for it.”
“No! It's my bed!”
“I didn't say you couldn't sleep here, Kimmie. Just that you had to share. Unless, of course, you're…chicken.”
“It's not a matter of how I feel,” Kim pointed out, her cheeks red. “No way my parents will let us sleep in the same bed.”
Shego shrugged. “Guess you're sleeping with them, then. I don't have a problem sharing, but if they won't let you…”
“That's not fair! It's my bed!”
“Not my problem, Kimmie. I'm not the one keeping you out. Guess it was different when you were two.”
Kim blinked. “Different how?”
“Your mom didn't have a problem with us sleeping together then.”
“…you're right. She trusted you with me.” A wicked smile appeared on her face. “Which gives me an idea.”
“Oooh, I love it when you're devious.”
“What? I'm never devious!”
“You're right.” Shego winked at her. “Must just be you, then.”
Kim turned bright red. “You can't keep talking like that if we're going to pull this off. We're trying to convince my parents that this is totally innocent.”
“You better do all the talking, then. I'm no good at innocent.”
“Good point. And try not to touch me, either.”
“This is getting less fun by the second, Kimmie.”
“It's supposed to be innocent, not fun. If they think we'll enjoy it, they'll never go for it. We have to convince them that this is good for me.”
“And how are we going to do that?”
“Just leave everything to me, Shego. When I'm done, they'll want you within three feet of me at all times.”
Shego rolled her eyes. “I guess I can live with that. No feet would be better, though.”
Kim shook her head. “Now you're just getting greedy.”
“You haven't seen me greedy yet, Kimmie. But you will,” Shego promised.
Kim forced herself to look away. “This is why you're not allowed to talk, Shego. You turn everything into girl/girl innuendo. You're like…like a guy.”
“Oh, so just because I have a healthy sexual appetite, I'm a guy? Kimmie, open your eyes. Think of the person you know that probably has the most sex. Is it a girl or a guy?”
Kim thought about it…and her eyes widened.
“Girl, right?”
“…yeah.”
“And now look at Stoppable. How much sex do you think he has?”
“…none, but that's not a good example.”
“Fine. Think of the guy you know that has the most sex. Is there a catch involved?”
“Yes, actually. He probably has so much because he's almost always with the girl I was thinking about.”
Shego smirked. “There, you see? Men can be sluts, too. Only they like to call themselves jocks. Sounds a little better, but it's the same thing.”
“Should I be worried that all you want to talk about is sex?” Kim asked.
“No, Kimmie,” Shego chuckled. “You should only worry if that's all I wanted to do: talk about it.”
The Doctors Possible were watching TV in the den when someone interrupted them.
“Mom? Dad? I have a problem.”
The parents looked at their daughter, and both instantly guessed the problem.
Kim was standing in the doorway, clutching Shego's hand rather tightly. For her part, Shego looked incredibly bored.
“What is it, Kimmie?” Mrs. Possible asked.
“I can't…I don't want to sleep alone,” Kim said quietly.
“Well, you have been through a traumatic experience, Kimmie cub,” Mr. Possible noted. “Of course you're going to feel a little out of sorts for a while. Having someone you trust nearby will help you regain your confidence. I'm sure Ron or Monique wouldn't mind-”
“Actually,” Kim interrupted softly, “I was really hoping Shego could do it. And that you two would be okay with it?”
“…Shego?” Mr. Possible asked in something like horror.
Mrs. Possible patted her husband's hand reassuringly. “If Shego makes you feel safe, Kimmie, she can share your room.”
“Really, Mom?” Kim smiled in relief. “You have no idea how much it'll help, knowing I have Shego to hold me when I'm-”
“HOLD you?” Mr. Possible interrupted, looking alarmed.
“Well, yes. That is why I want to share my bed with her.”
Mrs. Possible cleared her throat. “Kimmie…you never said anything about sharing your bed…just your room…”
“But, Mom!” Kim wailed. “You know I haven't been able to get to sleep unless she was holding me!”
“That's true, but you were only two then. This is…different, you know?”
“How? I still need her!”
“Ah…how do you feel about all this, Shego?” Mr. Possible asked.
Shego shrugged. “I feel she's being too nice. Far as I'm concerned, she's only asking to be polite. You say no, we'll just go somewhere else and do it, anyway. At least this way, you know where she is.”
“But surely as an adult, you understand our feelings on this?”
“Look, all I know is that Kimmie needs me, and I'm not in the habit of letting anyone else get in my way. So you can either have us here and have a pretty good idea of what we're not doing, or we can be out there where you'll have NO idea of what we're doing. Your choice.”
And when it was put that way, there really was no choice at all.
“Nice touch with the ultimatum at the end,” Kim commented once they were back in her room. “I was worried for a while, but they actually went for it.”
“I can be convincing when it's important,” Shego replied. “And if you need a security blanket that bad, I'd rather it be me than anything else.” She threw a rather hostile glance at the Pandaroo on Kim's pillow and resisted the childish urge to hide it somewhere.
Kim scoffed. “You're not a security blanket, Shego. You're a sex straightjacket.”
“Hey, you're the one that needs to be held. You never specified how.”
“You do realize that was part of the act, right?”
Shego shook her head. “Then drop the act, Kimmie. You're vulnerable right now. Even if you weren't, you knew when I invited you to share that we wouldn't be doing anything more than cuddling. Hell, you can't even kiss me without getting red in the face.”
“In my defense, you're a pretty intense kisser.”
“True, but I said YOU can't kiss ME without going red. That's got very little to do with how I kiss you, and more to do with you not being ready for anything beyond that. The ‘rents probably wouldn't have freaked as much if you'd told them that. Not that it was any of their business, though.”
“They're going to figure it out, once they see I'm over being two again.”
“I think you're already over it, for the most part. Your body just happens to be addicted to me now.”
Kim snorted loudly. “Get over yourself, Shego. I just felt safe. That's it.”
“Do you feel safe now?” Shego asked, leering at her.
“No, now I feel like one of those poor security guards you enjoy manhandling so much.” Kim paused and gently took Shego's hand. “I, um…heard about you and Drakken. I'm sorry.”
Shego waved her off. “Don't be, it was an act. He wants to help me go legit, so he fired me.”
“Oh.” Kim stared at her. “So…want me to call in a few favors? I know this guy that used to be a pro wrestler-”
Shego pressed a finger to Kim's lips. “I know you're trying to help, Kimmie, and I really appreciate it, but I'd rather find my own job.”
“Does that mean you're not going to work at the Space Center?”
“Let's say I'm considering it a last resort. I don't know if I want to be around your father that much.”
“Dad's just protective of me. It'd be a great chance to get to know him.”
“And what do you think is going to happen when he gets to know me?”
“Hopefully, he'll see all the good things in you that I do.”
“Like what?” Shego asked sarcastically.
Kim blinked. “Um…your, um…”
“Boobs,” Shego supplied.
“No!”
“Legs?”
Kim sighed. “Shego…”
“What, my butt? It's my butt, isn't it?”
“This isn't just pure lust for your body on my part, Shego. I actually do like OTHER things about you.”
“Name one,” Shego challenged.
“You're fiercely protective of me without really meaning to be.”
“How does that work?”
“If a guy walked up and started hitting on me, Ron would try to brush him off before getting violent. But you'd just deck him without a second thought.”
“And you like that?” Shego asked slowly.
“No, actually. But it's sweet…in a way…I think.”
“So if I suddenly just slap Stoppable tomorrow…”
“No, Shego.”
Shego pouted and flopped across the bed. “You're no fun.”
“We're not supposed to be having fun,” Kim reminded her, climbing in as well. “My parents could hear fun. Anyway, you said I wasn't ready.”
“And you're not,” Shego agreed. “When you're trying to jump me every time I turn around, THEN you'll be ready.”
Kim frowned. “So you're basically going to tease me until I'm horny enough to do something about it?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” Shego replied with a sinister grin. “Night, Kimmie.”
Shaking her head, Kim turned off the bedside lamp. “Goodnight, Shego.” She barely had the chance to get comfortable before Shego's arms slid around her, pressing her back into Shego's chest. “See?” Kim couldn't help whispering. “Sex straightjacket.”
“You know you love it,” Shego murmured in her ear.
Kim hesitated for a long moment, before finally turning her head until she could make out the long length in the darkness that had to be Shego's hair. “Um…Shego?”
“What?” Shego grunted, already half-asleep.
“Thanks. For everything.” Kim took a deep breath. “I…I love you.”
There was an endless pause, and horrible doubt and fear began to rise in Kim's mind. She'd moved too fast, she'd made a mistake, she should've just kept her big mouth shut, and now Shego would-
“Love you, too, Kimmie,” Shego said with surprising clarity, nibbling on Kim's ear to show she was very much awake at the moment. “Now shut up and go to sleep. I've got a hottie in my arms and I'm not gonna let anyone ruin it for me, not even you.”
Kim smiled and enjoyed the enormous wave of relief that washed over her. Impulsively, she brought one of Shego's hands to her lips in a brief kiss, before replacing it on her waist.
She didn't even mind so much when the hand moved a bit higher on her body and settled rather casually between her breasts.
“Hands need pillows, too,” Shego muttered before Kim could say anything.
Normally, Kim would've disagreed. It was just that she was starting to see Shego's point, which almost worried her. And it wasn't as if they both weren't enjoying that hand being here.
Finally, she settled on leaving the hand where it was, but covering it with a pillow, in case someone walked in on them. There was no sense in sabotaging their new privilege before they could really get the chance to enjoy it. And Kim planned to enjoy it…just as soon as she could figure out how to tell her family and friends that she'd outgrown boys and graduated to the school of Shego.
Suddenly, Kim wished she was two again. She'd never heard of a toddler getting grounded for the rest of their lives, anyway.
The End.
Endnotes: There will be at least one more installment in the “On” series. Probably just one long chapter or two. Tentatively it's titled “On Being Sheila Gonzalez.” If you hadn't guessed, it's all about Shego and her new job(s), as well as Kim trying to explain their relationship to everyone important to her. After that I'll move on to a major story about Ron, assuming I don't get an idea for yet another ficlet between now and then.
I used to think all those fanfics about Bonnie being a slut were just stories. But then, in “So the Drama,” we actually get evidence: Bonnie and Brick being on and off several times, Bonnie telling Brick not to shower because “she likes it when he glistens” (sick AND wrong!). I probably wouldn't be mentioning any of this, if not for the G rating in the top left corner of my TV. Hmm. Funny how they can get away with “glistening” under a G rating, yet I get complaints for Kim flashing Wade. At least MY naughtiness is properly coded! No nasty surprises here (well, they're not surprises, anyway). So stick that in your frontal lobe and let it marinate. Or just be glad both Kim and Shego showed some leg in the movie, whatever helps you sleep at night.
(Forget the supposed subliminal messages in Disney movies, they're getting away with it in plain sight! If a teenage girl you know starts showing an unhealthy interest in unwashed boys, look out! She may be a Bonnie Believer!)