Monkey Fist was so busy laughing maniacally that he almost didn't hear the familiar sound. But he'd been around Shego long enough to know what it sounded like when she discharged plasma, and it only took him an instant to react.
He'd dropped to the floor well before the twin beams could take his head off, and his tail snaked around Amy's legs and yanked, pulling her down as the beams slammed into space that her head had just occupied.
Shego was still imprisoned, but now he saw his error. Her eyes were giving off the same green and black energy that her hands usually did. How she could still see, he didn't know, but she obviously could. The next pair of beams sailed just over his left shoulder, singing the fur there.
“Amy, take cover!” Monkey Fist shouted, springing into the air to draw Shego's fire.
Shego blinked, and two more beams flew from her eyes, just missing his tail.
Monkey Fist ran along the wall, dodging Shego's blasts as best he could while staying away from the vital machines. Just a few more feet and he could knock her out again.
But Shego suddenly turned her head, and he realized he'd made another mistake.
Amy was slowly crawling to a row of computer consoles, but she was still all too vulnerable.
A wicked grin framed Shego's face as she fired again.
Having little choice, Monkey Fist, pushed off from the wall and took the two beams in his left shoulder, howling in pain as he hit the floor.
“So you do have a heart under all that hair,” Shego murmured in an amused tone. “Almost makes me feel bad about having to take you out. But you just couldn't leave Kimmie alone, could you? What, being fixated on the sidekick wasn't enough for you? You got too damn greedy, Fist. And you know what happens to bad little monkeys whose eyes are too big for their stomachs, don't you?” Her eyes blazed even brighter. “They get full and explode!”
Monkey Fist darted aside as two more beams slammed into the floor under his feet, bounding across the lab to land on the containment pod. With a mad look in his eyes, he drove a fist into the pod, grimacing as the glass tore gashes open in his arm. He drew his arm back enough to reveal he was holding a lock of red hair. “One more attack and I'll snap both their necks!” he threatened.
The energy clouds around Shego's eyes winked out at once.
“So. You do care. Interesting…but far too late.” Monkey Fist grinned at her. “You've proven far too untrustworthy and dangerous to keep around, Shego. I'll have no choice but to kill you. But you'll suffer first. Oh, you'll suffer greatly, indeed.”
Shego smiled darkly. “Speaking of suffering, got a joke for you, Fist. What's green, black, furry, and dead?”
“I never was one for jokes,” he replied, glaring at her.
“Give up? A monkey man trapped in ion gas. Which I've been emitting through my pores since I came to. And guess where most of it ended up?”
Monkey Fist's eyes widened in fear. “You wouldn't dare. I have the child!”
Shego laughed. “See, I've had my powers a bit longer than you, and I've got this whole precise control thing down. The gas don't go where I don't want it to. So the only one that needs to worry about crashing and burning is you. Which gives you until the count of ten to put Kimmie down. One…”
Monkey Fist swallowed and withdrew his hand from the pod.
“…zero.”
“NO!” he screamed, even as his body burst into emerald flames. He tried to beat them out, shrieking and slapping at his fur, even as his paw-like hands began to blister and smoke.
“Sorry, Baboon Butt,” Shego muttered, “but you messed with the wrong toddler this time.” She flicked her gaze over to Amy, who was watching in sheer terror. “Don't think I can't do it again, either.”
Dr. Drakken was almost finished converting his hovercraft into a battery for an EMP disrupter when Wade called.
“Um…I don't think we need to worry about the machine anymore,” Wade said softly, looking a bit green around the edges.
“Why not?” Monique asked. “What happened?”
“Well, I hacked into a security camera, and…Shego handled the situation. As only she could. But if you've got a fire extinguisher, bring that. And whatever you do, don't go in from downwind or your noses will regret it.”
Ron felt warm lips brushing his cheek. Very warm lips. Extremely warm lips, really.
“OW!” he cried, jerking his head away.
“Hey, I didn't like it, either,” Shego snapped, glaring at him.
“Why? Why would you kiss me, why?” Ron demanded.
“To wake you up, nimrod. Did you really want me to risk using my hands?”
Ron almost instantly said yes. But then he got a good look at Shego's hands, and the disturbing way that her fingers were continually releasing black tendrils of smoke.
“Lips are good. Lips are GREAT!”
“Thought you'd say that.”
“Um…what happened to your hands?”
“Long story short, I couldn't use them because the manacles made them useless for generating plasma. So I surrounded the manacles with ion gas and blew them up. Only, since my powers didn't apply to my hands at the moment, it hurt. A lot. But I couldn't put them out, since they were already too sensitive. So I'm kinda forced to let them burn out on their own. And it's put me in a really shitty mood, so don't push it.”
Ron blinked. “Uh…well, if you can get me out of these things, I could try wrapping them with my shirt.”
“Works for me.” Shego narrowed her eyes, slicing each of the four manacles with two thin plasma beams.
Ron dropped the floor and yanked his shirt off. “Do you wanna, or should I…?”
Wordlessly, Shego held out her hands, wincing only a few times as he tore his shirt in half and carefully wrapped them. Then she sank down against the wall, looking more worn out than Ron had ever seen her.
“Now…get Kimmie and her mom out of that pod. I made Amy turn it off before I kicked her teeth in, so it should be safe to open.”
Ron winced at the thought and went over to the pod. It took a few tries to find the right button, but the doors finally slid open. “KP? Mrs. Dr. P? You two okay?”
Mrs. Possible slowly emerged, holding Kim tightly to her chest. “I think so, Ron. At least, neither of us grew any fur. What about you?”
“I'm cool. I think Shego took the worst of it for us.”
“Shego? But I thought she was…?”
Ron shrugged. “Don't ask. Kim seems to like her now, and the feeling seems mutual. She stopped Monkey Fist…for good, from the look of him. But don't look, you really don't wanna see what's left!”
“I'll take your word for it.” Mrs. Possible lowered her voice as she stroked Kim's hair. “Look, Kimmie. Ron is just fine, see?”
“Wonnie?” Kim asked softly, turning around to look at him.
Ron caught one of her little fists and kissed it. “Hey, KP. You know it takes more than a little nosebleed to put me out of action.”
Kim smiled and tugged on his hair affectionately. Then her face grew worried again. “Go okies?”
A quick glance behind him showed that Shego had passed out. “She's taking a nap,” Ron replied. “But we better not wake her. She wasn't in a good mood last time I checked…”
Mr. Dr. Possible practically leaped out of the taxi and ran to his front door. He stopped a few feet short of it, and from the way the two sets of pounding footsteps behind him ended abruptly, so did his boys.
Ron seemed to be replacing the front door. The old one, lying in the grass, was split in two.
And even that might have been fine, to a certain extent, if Drew Lipsky wasn't helping him.
“Ronald,” Mr. Possible said as calmly as he could, “I trust there is a reasonable explanation for this?”
“Reasonable? We're fresh out of that, Mr. Dr. P,” Ron replied. “But if you want fantastic, outrageous, and utterly unbelievable, we might have some in stock.”
“Check him for mind control chips, Dad,” Jim suggested in a loud whisper, shooting a wary look at Drakken.
“Don't worry, Drakken's on the level,” Ron assured them. “Today, anyway. He even helped wash the breakfast dishes.”
Mr. Possible hesitated. “Well…I suppose that's fine, then.” He narrowed his eyes a bit. “And I have your word that you won't start any trouble in our home?” he asked Drakken.
Drakken solemnly raised a hand. “Scientist's honor.”
“That's like scout's honor for geniuses,” Tim explained, seeing Ron's clueless look.
“I knew that!” Ron insisted, but no one seemed to believe him.
“I'm glad you're taking this so well,” Drakken sighed, looking very relieved. “Why, now I'm not even half as worried about what you'll think of Shego sleeping in Kimberly's room!”
The hesitant acceptance dropped off of Mr. Possible's face at once. “WHAT?”
Shego woke up with a mild headache and numb hands. Strangely enough, she found her hands bandaged. It was possible Dr. Drakken had done it, but health care wasn't really his expertise, and it looked far too professional for Shego's liking. She didn't care much for hospitals, because the few times she'd been in one, she'd felt far too vulnerable and weak.
“Oh! You're awake!” said a voice from the door.
Shego's head whipped up to see Mrs. Dr. Possible in the doorway. “You're…Kimmie's mom,” she said slowly, recognition and relief in her tone. She tensed up again, however, seeing the bandages and antiseptic in the doctor's hands.
Apparently not the least bit bothered by Shego's presence, Mrs. Possible came in and sat down beside the bed. “I was concerned. You've been asleep nearly two whole days.”
“I heal fast. On my own.” Shego continued to scowl at the bandages, making her anxiety even more obvious.
“Oh. Well…these can wait, I suppose,” Mrs. Possible said, putting them aside. She cleared her throat and looked directly into Shego's eyes. “I assume this must all be a bit strange for you.”
“Kinda,” Shego admitted. “Never woke up in Kimmie's room before.”
“It was the best we could do, under the circumstances. Ron pointed out you might still have some outstanding warrants, so you'd only be taken into custody if you showed up at a hospital. And, considering what you've done for this family, I'm sure Kimmie doesn't mind.”
“Where's she been sleeping?” Shego asked, feeling a bit guilty.
“With me. She's been very fussy, since you wouldn't wake up when I brought her in to see you. She seemed to think you were staying asleep on purpose.”
Shego smirked. “Not much choice, really. When I drain my powers like that, they need time to return to normal. Especially if I'm hurt. Only way to get better is to sleep it off.”
“Your hands were looking better the last time I changed the bandages,” Mrs. Possible agreed. “I think I'll be able to give you a clean bill of health in a day or so.”
“Isn't this weird for you?” Shego asked suddenly.
Mrs. Possible blinked in surprise. “It was. But I guess I got used to it while you were asleep. Monique and Ron told me how you helped them look after Kim. I couldn't find it in my heart to be angry at someone who obviously cares a great deal for my daughter…now, anyway.” She leaned closer and lightly laid her hand on Shego's arm. “You saved her life, Shego, and mine as well. If you hadn't done what you did, we'd all be a bunch of monkeys right now.”
Shego shuddered at the thought, and nearly missed Mrs. Possible's next words.
“I want you to know that you'll always be welcome in our home. And if there's anything you ever need-”
“Wait, stop,” Shego interrupted. “This is too weird. You're thanking me?”
“You saved our lives. What did you expect me to do? Pretend none of it ever happened?”
“Yeah, actually,” Shego admitted, looking a tiny bit ashamed of herself. “Do you actually want to remember almost being turned into a monkey?”
“If it reminds me of what you did for us, then yes,” Mrs. Possible replied firmly. “So is there anything you need?”
“Food would be nice,” Shego said hesitantly. “And maybe some aspirin.”
“That's hardly going to cancel out the debt, you know,” Mrs. Possible pointed out as she stood up and headed for the door. “You can't imagine how much Kim means to us. And even then, you saved two lives, not one. Three, if Ronald feels the same way. Why, we would never really be able to repay you, would we?” She smiled as she left the room.
Shego closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, feeling more and more odd by the second.
In the next few hours, Shego had a near endless stream of visitors. Monique and Ron were first, bringing a clearly delighted Kim with them. Ron must have had a talk with Mrs. Possible, because he instantly declared himself at Shego's disposal.
“And if you ever decide to change professions,” he added, “you let me know, and I could score you a job at Bueno Nacho. I've only got so much pull there, but I could have you up to Assistant Queso Button Pusher like that!”
“You're all heart,” Shego said dryly.
“Hey, don't knock it! Even KP never got any higher than that.”
Kim shot him a look that promised certain doom when she was back to normal.
Monique had been more reserved in her thanks. At least, while Ron was in the room. But as soon as he left, she leaned in and gave Shego a big kiss on the nose.
“What was that?” Shego demanded, half amused and half frightened.
“Just my way of saying thanks,” Monique replied. “I can't exactly get you a cushy job. But the next time you want something from Club Banana, I'll make sure it's a steal that won't get us both in trouble.”
Even that was nothing compared to Mr. Dr. Possible's visit. He had clearly been a bit uncomfortable, but managed to also thank Shego for saving his daughter and his wife.
Then he dropped a bomb on her by mentioning that the security team at the Middleton Space Center was looking for someone of her talents to beef up their ranks. The only catch was that she'd have to go legit, and the pay wouldn't be what she was used to, although it wouldn't exactly wreck her standard of living, either. Apparently, there was big business in keeping certain mad scientists away from all of the cutting edge technology.
Dr. Drakken turned out to be her most frequent visitor, coming in right before Mrs. Possible, who popped in every hour or so to check on her. Shego could tell that it bothered him to see her on constant bedrest. Not because she wasn't earning her pay, but because it was just odd to see someone like her resting so much. In truth, she almost wished she was better, so they could run off and steal something dangerous and expensive. But then she would remember Mr. Possible's offer, which strangely seemed more and more attractive every time she thought of it.
And if that job hadn't been tempting enough, Wade called later that night, saying in a suspiciously smug tone that warrants for her in over 27 states had mysteriously ceased to exist. Naturally, that also cleared of her any charges in Middleton, making it much easier for her to be legally employed.
Even Kim's twin brothers came in a few times, mostly to poke at her and ask extremely annoying questions about her new relationship with Kim. She wasn't sure how they'd found out, but Tim (at least, she thought it was him, she couldn't be bothered with trying to tell them apart) hinted that Kim wouldn't mind sharing the bed once they were both better. In the end, she could only get rid of them by making her eyes flare, since they knew her hands were useless until fully healed. Still, she was glad that at least some of Kim's family didn't seem to mind her spending time with Kim.
No one mentioned Monkey Fist or DNAmy, so she just assumed the worst (or the best, depending on your outlook).
Dr. Drakken knocked softly on the bedroom door. “Shego?”
“C'mon in, Dr. D,” he heard her answer. “We need to talk, anyway.”
That was not quite what he'd expected to hear, so he entered cautiously. He found Shego sitting on the edge of the bed, as if trying to decide whether or not she should get up. She finally decided to stay put, and waved him over when she caught him staring.
“Sit,” Shego ordered, patting the spot next to her. “I won't bite, this time.”
There was much of the old Shego in that invitation, and Drakken felt himself relax slightly…as much as he had ever relaxed around her, anyway. So many times she'd smiled at him one second and decked him the next, that he was almost always on his guard around her. It was odd, he recognized now, that he'd come to rely on her as his main source of survival. Shego stole the technology, Shego robbed the banks, Shego protected him from Kim Possible, and Shego led his henchmen with an iron fist. More than that, she shot down any plan that he hadn't thought out enough. Occasionally she'd let him get away with a real head scratcher, but he suspected she did that more for his benefit that anything else. He would hardly be a mad scientist if he didn't attempt some less than sane schemes every now and then.
“SIT!” Shego snapped, bringing him out of his thoughts in an instant.
Drakken sat.
The scowl on her face vanished at once, only to be replaced by a strangely hesitant look.
It didn't suit her at all, Drakken decided. Shego was a woman of action. He couldn't recall the last time he'd seen her hesitate.
“Would I sound totally ungrateful,” Shego said quietly, “if I told you I couldn't do this anymore?”
He was not at all surprised. “There's no need to look that way, Shego,” Drakken answered in what he hoped was a comforting tone. “I hardly expected you to go right back to work. You're injured and need time to heal, so-”
Without looking at him, Shego raised her bandaged right hand. It instantly burst into brilliant green and swirling black, consuming the bandages in a few seconds. “I'm healed. But that's not what I meant.”
Drakken peered at her closely. “You want to stop for her, don't you?”
She looked away, but not before a grimace crossed her face. “Not just for her. It couldn't have been easy to get rid of those warrants, not even for Big Brain. This is a chance I might never get again.”
“Don't delude yourself, Shego,” Drakken replied. “You won't get it again, and you know it.”
Shego glared at him. “Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy our little pep talks?”
“This isn't a pep talk, and I am not Kim Possible. You know very well that it won't be easy. The warrants may be gone, but the memories aren't. They won't give you the benefit of a doubt. You won't even be able to leave this house without someone in it vouching for you.”
“I know,” Shego muttered.
“But,” Drakken added, “it probably would help if you could no longer be associated with an evil genius.” With that, he stood up and pointed a tiny, gloved finger at her face. “SHEGO! You're fired!” he shouted.
She stared at him in disbelief, just before a snarl came over her lips. “You blueberry-faced dork, I'll-!” Shego began to say, leaping to her feet and going for his neck. She stopped an inch from him, her face clouded with confusion. “Wait a minute…”
Drakken smiled at her, even as his face twisted in supposed rage. “I hope the Possibles turn you in the first chance they get!” he yelled.
“GET OUT!” Shego screamed, shrugging helplessly. “SEE HOW FAR YOU MAKE IT WITHOUT ME!”
“I WILL!” Drakken shouted back. He paused and lowered his voice. “I think that's enough. But you should probably hit me, so it'll look authentic.”
“Okay. But I take no pleasure in this,” Shego swore.
The enormous grin on her face said otherwise.
“CURSE YOU, SHEGO!” Drakken screamed as Ron dragged him down the stairs. “YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!”
“My goodness, what happened to his face?” Mrs. Dr. Possible cried as she caught sight of the raving mad scientist. One cheek was badly brusied, and the other was so swollen that his eye was barely visible.
“I think Shego's back on her feet,” Ron explained. “You might wanna check on her while I show Drakken the door.”
Mrs. Possible hurried upstairs to Kim's room, only to find Shego standing by the window. “Shego? What happened?”
“He fired me,” Shego answered, “and I told him what I thought of that.” She paused. “Um…I'll clean up the blood, honest.”
“Don't worry. I'll get it.”
“Really, I can-”
“I am a brain surgeon, Shego. It's nothing I haven't seen before.”
“Oh. Right.” Shego frowned thoughtfully. “I'd forgotten what it feels like to be unemployed. It's…weird. Like I don't have a purpose anymore.”
“You are more than just a job, Shego.”
“That would probably sound a lot more convincing if it wasn't coming from a brain surgeon that's married to a rocket scientist.”
Mrs. Possible blinked and smiled. “You know, you're absolutely right. But if it's a job you're worried about, I have one in mind.”
“Yeah?” Shego asked, unable to keep the interest out of her voice. “You need someone to hold people down when you saw their heads open?”
Mrs. Possible's smile became very thin. “I need someone to watch Kimmie for a while. And since she won't take a nap for anyone else, I think she'll listen to you.”
“Oh.” Shego considered that. “So how much are we talking here?”
“I was actually thinking you'd do it for free.”
“So it's not really a job, so much as it is volunteer work,” Shego corrected.
Mrs. Possible sighed. “I like to think of it as a labor of love. You do love Kim, don't you?”
Shego looked away, but not before the hint of red rose in her cheeks.
“You don't need to be in a rush to go out and find a job, anyway. I told you, you're welcome to stay as long as you want.”
“I don't like charity,” Shego stated flatly.
Mrs. Possible smiled at her. “It's not charity, Shego. It's gratitude. And it feels a lot better, in your case, because you've earned it. You've more than earned it. You deserve it.”
Ten minutes later, Shego found herself stretched out on the couch.
“This is how Kimmie got started, you know,” Mrs. Possible said, placing her daughter in Shego's hands.
“Huh,” Shego muttered, staring at the bright-eyed toddler on her chest. “Your eyelids are getting heeeavy. You want to naaap. Naaaaaap. Na-”
“Please don't hypnotize my daughter,” Mrs. Possible interrupted.
Shego sighed in frustration before turning back to Kim. “SLEEP.”
Kim blinked a few times. Finally, she crawled down Shego's body and flopped bonelessly across her stomach. She was asleep in seconds.
“Is this normal toddler behavior?” Shego asked.
“Only for people she feels especially close to. She used to do it all the time when I was pregnant with the twins.”
“She slept ON you?”
“Well, no. But she often fell asleep with her head on my side.”
“I thought the whole digestive system in her ear would keep her awake.”
Mrs. Possible shrugged. “Maybe she just thinks you're growling at giant puppies.”
Shego glowered at her. “NOT funny.”
To Be Concluded Next Chapter: Kim has to deal with everything that happened during her little vacation from her body.