Kim Possible was halfway through her third energy bar when the truth finally hit her.
Shego was dying.
She hadn't wanted to believe that, at first. She'd wanted to believe that Shego was just milking the opportunity to be pampered by her main nemesis. Not that they were even close to being enemies anymore.
Kim had never seen Shego like this. She was so weak. So vulnerable. Pitiful, even. This woman was nothing like the Shego she had once loathed and even feared, to a certain extent.
And yet it was this same woman that Kim finally understood she had come to love, though not in any way she could actually explain without confusing herself even more. Shego would never let her live it down, anyway. Better to keep her thoughts to herself.
Shego's fire had gradually winked out along the trip from Dr. Drakken's lair (what remained of it), though her sight hadn't returned. Her other senses seemed to kick into temporary hyperactivity, though. The plane ride over had grated on her ears relentlessly, she wouldn't go anywhere that wasn't at least dimmed first, and she started panicking if she wasn't within ten feet of Kim at all times.
By the time they'd finally reached the near-bare apartment, Shego was completely exhausted, though it didn't seem to keep her from complaining. Kim had no trouble coaxing her to lie down on the couch, but Shego would hardly even let her leave the room to make a few phone calls. And the one time Kim had tried to ignore her, Shego had begun to scream “KIMMIE!” so loudly that Kim couldn't hear anything else. Even when she gave in, Shego had been angry with her, and wouldn't stop sulking until Kim made it up to her.
That was how Kim found herself on the couch with Shego's head in her lap. She had suggested using a pillow only once, and Shego had given her a look that told her where she could stick her pillow idea. The good news was that Shego had quickly fallen asleep after that, and even she couldn't complain while she was sleeping.
Kim resorted to speaking with Wade in hushed tones as they tried to find some experts that might be able to help Shego. The list they ended up with was short and not very promising at all. Most were people that Shego had robbed in one way or another, and the chances of them being able or willing to help her, even at Kim's request, was slim to none. Wade suggested that Mrs. Possible might be able to tell them if the problems were brain-related, but Kim wasn't ready to go to her mother just yet. This was a lot for even her to deal with, and she didn't want to dump it all on her parents.
Not yet, anyway.
Shego was having a horrible dream. Only it didn't start out that way.
She was in an orphanage. The people were nice, the kids didn't bother her, and they even gave her a tiny dollhouse all her own. It wasn't quite a dreamhouse, but it was close enough.
One day, another girl arrived. She was shrimpy and a little whiny, but Shego liked her right away. Her pigtails were fun to pull on. Lightly, though, just shy of actually hurting.
They had the same eyes.
From day one, they were inseparable. Or so it seemed.
A family came. They wanted Kimmie. Only her, though.
Kimmie begged for them to take her friend, too. They only had room for one kid, it seemed.
Shego wasn't surprised. Pissed, but not surprised.
She watched with dead eyes as Kimmie was loaded into a car. Kimmie waved sadly out of the back window, but Shego didn't wave back. She wasn't mad at Kimmie. She was just pissed.
That night, the orphanage burned to the ground. It didn't matter.
It didn't bring Kimmie back.
Nothing would. She was gone. Gone for good.
The world could burn. Shego didn't care. Wouldn't miss it at all.
With any luck, the family would recognize her on the news and bring Kimmie back to her. She wasn't going to hold her breath, though.
They were perfect. Perfect people didn't give up their children to crazies with plasma tantrums.
Shego really wished they did, though.
“Wake up, Shego. You need to eat.”
Shego grunted and tried to go back to sleep. “Later.”
“No. Now.” Kim shoved a half-eaten energy bar under her nose, knowing she wouldn't be able to resist it up close.
“Fine. But it better be good.”
“Energy bars are all we have. The owner doesn't really keep this place stocked.”
Shego grumbled a bit, but opened her mouth and allowed Kim to feed her. She'd had much better, but she'd also had much worse. She didn't feel any stronger afterwards, but it was still good to have something in her stomach.
“Can you tell me anything about your powers that might help us figure out what's wrong?” Kim asked.
“Yeah. They're not as bad when I'm around you. You know everything else.”
There was a long pause before Kim spoke again. “Well…has anything like this ever happened-”
“No, Kimmie. Otherwise I might be handling it better.”
“Sorry.”
“Not your fault. At least, I don't think it is.”
“What if it is?” Kim asked softly.
“Then I can take it out on you later. Can I go back to sleep now?”
“Sure,” Kim replied, even as she failed to suppress a yawn.
“Sounds like you could use a nap, too.”
“I'm okay. I just-”
“Kimmie, just because I can't see you doesn't mean I won't get off this couch and beat you unconscious. Either way, you are going to sleep. You can't take good care of me if you're worn out, too.”
“I…I am taking good care of you, aren't I?” Kim asked, sounding hopeful and fearful at the same time.
“I'll tell you when we wake up. Emphasis on the ‘we,’ by the way.”
“Okay, you win. Just let me call home first.” Kim gently lifted Shego's head and slid away. “I'm probably grounded for being out so late, anyway.”
“Tell them you were helping an old blind woman. It's true enough.”
“You're not old, Shego.”
“I feel like it,” Shego muttered, drawing a worried look from Kim as she went into the next room to use the phone.
Kim's phone call took a few minutes, and even though Kim tried to keep her voice down, Shego was sure that she begged at least twice. Probably not to be grounded for the rest of her natural life, or something like that. Shego wasn't too concerned, though. The way things were looking, if she made it through the night, she'd be happy to tell Kim's parents the whole truth later. Much later.
“It's a good thing I don't have to go home tonight,” Kim said as she came back. “I don't think all the yelling would be good for your ears.”
“We'll straighten it out,” Shego promised.
Kim stared at her. “Really? Thanks.”
“Assuming things go well, I mean.”
There was a long pause in which Shego could practically feel Kim's fear rolling off her in waves.
“Go to sleep,” Shego ordered.
“I can't,” Kim whispered.
“Why not?”
“Because!”
Shego sighed. “If you stand there and tell me you need a stupid song or a dumb doll to-”
“I'm scared if I go to sleep that you won't be alive when I wake up!” Kim cried, her voice raw and panicky.
For some reason, the thought of Kim being afraid was more bothersome than the thought of being dead in the morning.
Shego stretched out her hand. “Come here.”
For a few seconds, there was no response. Then Kim's hand took hers, and Shego felt the couch sink a little as Kim sat down beside her.
“You promised me you wouldn't die, Shego,” Kim sniffled. “But I don't believe you anymore.”
Instead of answering, Shego pulled Kim down beside her and drew the girl close. “How about I just pinch you if something feels worse?” she asked in Kim's ear.
“Okay,” Kim agreed quietly. “And if nothing does?”
“Then I guess I have to spend the whole night holding you,” Shego sighed, burying her face in Kim's hair. “I finally get you trapped, and I don't even feel like gloating. I am sick.”
“Shego. If…if you knew a way to stop this. Even if it meant becoming…one again…you'd tell me, right?”
Shego debated that question for a moment. “No.” She instantly felt Kim stiffen in her arms.
“Why not?”
“Because as much as I want certain things, and even though I'm willing to steal them, I can't accept that taking them from you is the only way to get them, Kimmie. Think about it. Stoppable couldn't save the world without you. Your family would go nuts, even if I did try to explain it. Not to mention I'd never get a good night's sleep from all the guilt. I've got my regrets, but I don't intend for that to be one of them, ever.”
“So…you'd just…die?”
“Don't you get it, Kimmie? I'm fragmented, you're not. Whatever you are, you came to me a whole person, no matter what you used to be. I told you what I did because it's the truth. Maybe, at one time, I did want you back. But lately I'm starting to think it wouldn't matter. And it'd be such a waste, if we did it, only to drop dead the next minute. Let's not forget I'd have no clue where to start, anyway.”
“So you're saying that my life is more important than yours?”
“No. I'm saying I've lived a life, and you haven't. No need to rush things.”
“I understand all that.” Kim's hand tightened around Shego's. “But please don't die, Shego. Please?”
“Can't promise that.”
“Well…if it ever comes to the point where you have a choice. Choose to stay here. With me.”
“I don't think it works that way, Kimmie.”
“It will if you want it enough,” Kim said. “Nothing can stop you if you want it enough. I would know.”
“Guess you would.” Shego closed her eyes, listening to the steady sound of Kim's breathing until she fell asleep.
Endnotes: Kim and Shego's debate on life and death somehow got me thinking about abortion, hence the title. No, I'm not making a statement, it's just the only title I could decide upon at 5 AM. But then a lot of things become limited at 5 AM, so that doesn't surprise me…