She left.
Just like that, she left. I'm alone, in her house that we're supposed to be sharing…and she left!
I might very well just have to kill her. It was bad enough that I never got a chance to…a chance to…
I never got to tell her that I'm sorry I raped her. I never got a chance to apologize for everything I'd done to her in the past. I'd hurt her, willfully, so many times during the course of my duties. I shamed her, humiliated her, hurt her…all after she'd stuck her neck out for me.
I had to find her.
“Kim? What's up?” Wade sounded shocked to hear from me. I guess he didn't realize- “And where's Shego going?”
A grin started as his words sunk in. He was already tracking her. He could find out where she went. “Wade, I need to get wherever she's going. Options?”
His fingers tapped rapid fire over his incredibly loud keyboard. “Motorcycle?”
“Do-able. Just so long as I get there.”
“Not a problem. Contact'll be in…five minutes.”
“Thanks.”
I stood, waiting, until a black leather figure on a sleek bike pulled to a stop. One black gloved hand flipped up the visor of the full face helmet to let me see shadowed eyes, then the rider jerked a thumb to the passenger seat.
Great.
Hopped up on hormones and emotion and now I had to ride a mobile vibrator and hug a leather clad mystery. If I wasn't so hung up on everything going on with Shego, I might have cared more about who my ride was. As it was, all that mattered was finding her and finding out why the hell she ran from me like a scared child. Did she think I'd make fun of her? Ridicule her? Mock her?
Didn't she know me better than that by now? We'd done so much over…three days.
Goddamn, had it really only been that long?
I needed my head checked.
Here I was, clinging to the back of a motorcycle rider who drove so quickly around the hairpin turns of the mountains that my knee was within a hair's breadth of scraping the asphalt. The hard chrome and steel bit sharply into my legs as I squeezed against the bike's frame, shifting with my driver as we tore down the curvy road. What in the world was I thinking?
I could only hope that I would know what the hell I was doing when I found her.
Blast it all to fucking hell.
I should have known better.
Kim doesn't give up. She'd track me down to the ends of the Earth with the help of her little lackeys. Nerd boy's probably already got a lock on me. It's not like I'm hard to track with this goddamn mutation. There are only five of us with who give off those inverted photons or queer quarks or whatever the hell Mego blathered on about.
Damn geek.
That boy always got into more trouble than Dr. D in an unlocked lab. There was this one time he ended up bright orange for a week. I wish I had gotten a picture. He looked like a hardcore Broncos fan, it was priceless.
Especially when he accidentally walked into a Raiders bar during the wild card playoffs.
I thought I'd never stop laughing.
I sure as hell don't feel like laughing now. I'm still a few miles out from Aunt Jodie and Uncle Rob's place and I can almost feel her breath, hot on the back of my neck. Hopefully Rob got my call to clear the picnic table from the backyard. Otherwise, I'd have to park this damn hovercraft in the front yard and his neighbors hated that. Sure, he laughed it off, but they were already doing so much for me that I couldn't justify putting them through more.
Now that I'd run, Kim was going to follow. I should expect her to show up within a half hour after I got there, on the outside. That was assuming she went retarded and didn't immediately call on her personal IT department. If she had, then she should show up within fifteen minutes of my own arrival.
Either way, I'd have just enough time to fill Rob and my short man in on what was going on. Jodie should still be on her Caribbean tour.
I lowered the hovercraft into the empty backyard, the long blades of Rob's grass shifting wildly beneath my transport. Behind the sliding glass door, my boy grinned widely at me, Rob hovering behind him, frowning at me.
God, this was not going to be fun.
As soon as I flipped the engine off, Rob released Caden from the house. My arms were suddenly filled with my rambunctious scout and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.
“Mommy! Unca Rob said you'd be coming!” He pulled his head back and grinned at me. “Can we play knights?”
Laughing, I tickled his unprotected sides, making him squeal like a stuck pig. “Later, buddy. Someone special's coming over so you have to behave.”
“I always behave!” Caden pushed at my tickling hands, and I stopped, taking the moment to hold my precious son.
“I meant behave well, short man.”
Caden pouted almost as prettily as Kim did. It was kind of disturbing to realize that while I held him in my lap.
“Someone special?” I could hear the smirk in Rob's voice and I had to resist the urge to smack the fucker upside the head. He was lucky I was holding Caden.
“Yeah. It's complicated. She doesn't know about…anything. I know her from my work.”
Rob's eyebrow arched. I'd filled in Jodie and Rob about what I did for a living when everything had happened with Caden. It wasn't until the evil grin started that I realized he knew enough to know who it was and why she'd be coming over.
“Redhead? Young? Lives in Middleton?”
Fucker.
One of these days, I'd kill him, a long, slow, painful death.
“It's complicated.”
Rob laughed and lifted Caden from me, setting my boy down on the lawn to let me climb out of my transport. “Women always are, or had you forgotten that part of sex ed?”
Standing next to my short man, I ruffled his hair affectionately. “I haven't forgotten. It's pretty bad.”
“What's bad?” Caden's innocent question probably would have had me sweating if I hadn't been long since used to them.
I smirked at him and poked his stomach. “The smell of your farts!”
“Mom!” His ears flushed red, his light complexion making the blush stand out.
“Oh, come on, you fart enough to make your own bubble bath.”
He glanced from side to side furtively, muttering. “I do not!”
In another second, a hideous smell wafted up to my nose and I leaned back, waving my hand in front of my face. “Holy crap, Rob, what have you been feeding him!”
Rob couldn't answer. He was laughing too hard. Caden was grinning unabashedly, proud of his rectal emission.
Then the knock sounded.
I closed my eyes. She was a bit ahead of schedule.
I guess I'd underestimated her frantic rush.
“I'll get it…” Rob's voice trailed off as he disappeared into the house.
Looking down at my son, I leveled a stern look on him. “Remember, buddy. Best behavior.”
“Yes, mom.” His head was tilted back slightly to let him meet my gaze, his small face deadly earnest.
I couldn't help but to smile. “What did you learn in school today?”
“Oh my god! We totally did this thing on Egypt and there were mummies! Did you know they pulled their brains out through their nose? It was so disgusting, it was awesome!” He gestured for me to lean in, and I did, bending my ear to his loud whisper. “Mandy almost puked!”
“No way!”
His nod was vigorous, shaking his long hair over his face. It was almost time to take him in for a trim again. “Total way! She had to run to the bathroom and she couldn't watch the rest, but the movie wasn't bad at all, they didn't even show anything, not like that thing we saw last week where there was that guy who had the bite mark.”
“Right. So you liked it?”
“Yeah! Can we go to Egypt?”
Laughing, I ruffled his hair again. “Maybe if you're good, buddy.”
Rob's mild tenor was speaking softly, coming closer. They should be in the kitchen by now. “She's right back here.”
My hand resting on my son's shoulder, I raised my gaze and met that of the woman who didn't seem to understand what ‘leave me the fuck alone’ meant.
I'm not sure what I thought I'd see written on her face when I stepped around the corner into the backyard.
Passive indifference was just about the best I could have hoped for. Her son stood next to her, his bearing as proud as his mother's.
God…she's somebody's mother. How in the hell did that happen? I mean, I know how it happens, but her…she…I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
My mind swirled with confusion, anger and hurt. She'd made her grand announcement, then fled. Where did she get off, doing something like that?
Faced with the four foot tall evidence, what little denial I clung to crumbled. The woman I'd fought against, my captor, my fascination, the woman I'd callously raped…
She's a mother.
A freaking mother!
How did I miss that? How did Wade? Did Global Justice know, is that why they negotiated with her?
Insane.
I still want her.
“Hello, Kim.” Her calm, measured voice slapped across my jangled nerves, making me flinch.
“Uh, hi.”
“This is my son, Caden. Say hello, short man.”
The wide smile he turned on me made my heart hurt. “Hi! You're Kim, right?” I nodded dumbly, unwilling to trust my voice just yet. “Mom has a great picture of you in the TV room, that's how I know who you are. Do you like ninjas?”
“Um, I guess so.” I glanced at her and my heart clenched. She was smiling at him, a gentle smile filled with love. God, I wished I could see it turned on me. Didn't I?
“I do too. My favorites are the lesbian vampire ninja pirates ‘cause they go all hwaaaaah and kiyah! And then they hide their treasure and go to sleep in their coffins. It's awesome.”
Oh my God. He'd done little karate moves, just like the ones Shego had used against me in past fights, but with less finesse. He really was her son, and he liked lesbian vampire ninja pirates.
Wait, had he just said - “Lesbian?”
Caden nodded vigorously, his hair flinging out around his head. “Yeah! Girls that like other girls! Don't you know about them?”
I couldn't help but to look over at her, the phantom of her touch dancing across my skin, heating my blood with the mere memory of how her strong fingers had dug into my arms. I could feel the vise of her desire clamping tightly around me, but I'd fucked that up, and now I'd never again know the sweet scent of her arousal clinging to my fingers, and I'd never know what it would be to have her touch me in tenderness - or at least in lust.
“Yes, I know about lesbians.”
“Are you a lesbian, Kim?”
“Caden!” Sure, she picks now to pipe up.
Not that I mind the question. “No…no, it's ok.” She looks at me, her impassive mask cracking slightly to let me see a hint of tense apprehension and heated, unspoken desire. Well, shit. I think it's desire, anyway. It might be indigestion for all I know. Gotta answer the kid, can't stare at his mom all day. “Caden, I didn't used to think so, but after what happened yesterday, I think I am.”
Oho…that caught her attention. She's glaring daggers at me now, and I'm damn sure she's wishing a hole would open up and swallow me whole.
“What happened?”
The smile I turn on him is soft and genuine, something I'd never been sure I could have felt again. “Your mom asked me on a date.”
His face lit up so much, I swear he must have been visible from space. “Wow! So you're gonna be her girlfriend?”
“Caden, that's enough.” Aw, but I wanted to answer…I think I did, anyway. It was hard to tell with as discombobulated I was. “Go see Uncle Rob.”
“But-”
“Now.” Wow. That was one helluva sexy growl. Kinda made my knees go weak.
“Yes ma'am.” He trotted off like a good boy, leaving me alone with his mama.
Well, shit. God, I hoped she didn't send him away to rip me a new one, but I couldn't make myself really believe the vague dream.
“What the hell, Kim.” Low, controlled and pissed beyond belief, her quiet stated question lashed across me viciously. There went that vague hope…
“Would you rather I'd have told him the truth?”
“I'd rather you hadn't said anything!”
I suddenly randomly smelled french toast. Weird. “I've done that enough. We need to talk.” Maybe over breakfast. That french toast smelled GOOD.
“So talk.” She glared at me, outrageous levels of seething anger flowing off of her.
It was a good thing I was already incensed, otherwise I would have been intimidated. “Why'd you leave?”
She stared at me silently for so long, I thought she hadn't heard my question. I shifted uncomfortably and looked away.
Why was she able to make me feel ashamed for wanting answers?
“I'm sorry. I just…I have to know.”
“I know.” She was subdued, quiet. Dark eyes turned to me, capturing me in an inscrutably dark contemplation. “I knew you would never be able to let it go.”
Shame.
That's what flooded my cheeks then. I had forced this woman into…so many things. And now, I stood here, demanding that she explain herself! Was I insane?
“I'm sorry.” I meant it. Pain arched through me as I realized how she must be feeling, standing here with her rapist. Would she hate me forever? Did she want to get revenge on me? Was I already damned? “I have to know.”
I need to know. I can deal with anything, just so long as I know what it is. I have to know.
The grimace twisted her face so painfully that at first, I thought she'd hurt herself. Then she turned from me, her voice as filled with pain as her voice. “I know.” God, those two little words tore at me. Shocked me when she sighed and continued. “We might as well be comfortable for this interrogation. C'mon, we're commandeering the guest room.”
Quiet as church mice, we make our way up the stairs, the daylight sounds of suburbia wafting through the still air of the house. I think I hear a raucous game of tag from down the street as we reach the top of the stairs, but I don't care enough to really listen. How can I care when one of the world's most perfect butts is directly in front of me? Sure, I try not to stare, but there's really no point, I stare anyway.
Rounded, firm to the touch and…turning so abruptly I almost trip over my own feet. Might want to watch out more carefully in the future. That delectable posterior shifts out of my line of sight and I'm half pulled, half pushed into the room. Glancing around as I stumble in, I almost laugh at the familiar layout and decor.
I guess aesthetic sense runs in the family.
By the time I've regained my balance, she's across the room, frowning at the sheer curtains of the lone window. The afternoon light bathes her hair in a rich wash, lending her a healthy glow unconnected to her powers. It's strange…in this light, I can see how she would have looked if that accident had never happened. It looks…wrong.
I like her with her pale skin. Maybe that makes me weird. I don't care.
Gentle light touches her face, smoothing the wrinkles caused by her frown. I want to feel them beneath my fingertips, the soft curve of her lips, the elegant lines of her cheeks, the aquiline nobility of her nose… A sudden ache to know what her forehead feels like beneath my lips erupts within me. My teeth dig into my lip to prevent me from acting on that insane urge.
“Has anyone ever told you that you're exhausting?” The subdued words lash over me with an almost physical intensity. I exhaust her?
“Uh, no.”
“You're beyond exhausting.” Oh, God, no… “Just the thought of this conversation is already making me sleepy.” Pausing, she rubs her eyes, weariness slumping her shoulders with its weight. “And you're distracting.” Is that good or bad? “I can't think clearly when I'm around you.” Possibly good. “Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?”
Most definitely possibly good.
Not that the thin hope changed anything.
“Yes.” My voice is weak, reed thin in the face of her accusation. I sound like a freaking pansy assed weakling. It's not like I've really done anything heroic recently, so maybe that's appropriate. “I've done things to you that under normal circumstances, I'd arrest myself for. I don't know what you're doing to me, but I want to find out.”
She didn't turn to look at me then.
Goddammit.
“I'm not doing anything to you. I told you, the contract's over. Just go on back to your boy wonder and have a laugh so I can get back to my life.”
What the hell? “I'm not going to Ron, that'd be stupid. I could never talk to him about this.” There is only so much the best friend is capable of, and making me scream with pleasure sure as hell ain't one of them.
“What the hell?” Well. At least she's looking at me now. Too bad it's in angry disbelief.
“It's too…personal.”
“How can it be too personal!” If she can shout that loud, what kind of screams is she capable of? Gah. Focus!
“Because it's sex!”
“You're having it with him, how much closer do you need to be before you'll talk about it?!”
“Having it with-” What. The. HELL. “Shego, that is disgusting. He's like my brother. I don't know about you, but I'm totally not into faux-cest.”
“Not…him…you…no?”
“One word, Shego: Ew.” The shudder that ran over my body was not faked. That was one of the sickest thoughts I'd ever heard. Gah. Like the Tweebs. EW! “Is that what you've been thinking?”
Eyes closed, she turned her head away and nodded once.
Well, no wonder she'd been giving off such a pissed vibe. I guess she'd thought I'd done him on her couch.
Ugh. That thought alone made me kinda sick to my stomach.
“I cannot believe you thought I was dating Ron. That's just wrong on so many levels.” Shaking my head I crossed my arms over my chest. “In case you missed it?” I waited for her to turn her head, then pointed my finger at her in emphasis. “SO. WRONG.”
“Fine, I was wrong. Can we drop it now? Sheesh. It's not like he's that bad.”
“He's my brother from another mother!”
“Ok, fine! Shit.” She turned away from me again, her chin dropping and making her hair fall over her face, obscuring the features I ached to see.
Then her words registered. “Wait, you like Ron?”
“What?” A bare glance was all she spared me.
“You like Ron. This is all a big plot to get him, isn't it.” My statements brought her gaze back to bear on me, her mouth hanging open slightly. Probably because I'd figured her out. “That means you never really wanted me, you were just using me to get to him. That is so mean!”
“You think I was joking when I said I'd do you all night long? Are you fucking retarded? I'm gonna-” She stopped abruptly, one finger jabbing at me briefly before she continued in stops and starts. “Of all the - were you dropped on your head as a kid? Why the fuck would I want anything to do with him when I've got you right in front of me! Not that you're any fucking good for me, but it's not like the first time that's happened to me!”
Tears welled in my eyes, making my voice thick. “You bastard.”
Snarling, she snapped at me, her words biting and harsh. “I'm not but my son is and with any luck, he'll never meet his father.”
The hot saline of my tears hovered at the edges of my eyes, threatening to fall over my cheeks. “Why, are you ashamed of him too?”
Stepping forward, she invaded my space until I could feel the heated anger rolling from her. “No, because his father is a sick fuck who gets his jollies off raping his friend's kid sisters!”
Maybe if she'd reached in and pulled my intestines from my body and strangled me with them, it might have hurt more than her words.
I doubt it.
I'd raped her.
Oh, God…