A Field Guide to Monsters

King in Yellow

TITLE: A Field Guide to Monsters

AUTHOR: King in Yellow

DISCLAIMER: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. NoDrogs created Kasy Ann and Sheki Go Possible in A Small Possibility. I changed their origin for my stories.

SUMMARY: Your enemies can't hurt you as deeply as your family. Shego forces Kim to confront a part of her past. Best Enemies universe. Based on a real life monster, a real event, and way I really sang the alphabet to my daughters. They're kidding at the end.

TYPE: Kim/Shego

RATING: US: PG-13 / DE: 12

Words: 1908

The plane landed and Kim and Shego each took charge of a cranky two-year old. After a diaper check at the restroom they reached the baggage carousel to find their luggage and two infant car seats already circling.

“Flip you for who watches kids while other one gets rental car?” Shego suggested.

“You take kids, please, my stress level is so high I'm worried I'll yell at them.”

“Okay, Princess, but you owe me.”

“Later, I promise.”

Kim smiled when she got back to her family, Shego had both girls on her lap and was singing the alphabet to them, using different tunes. “Will you do the Battle Hymn of the Republic version before we go? I always like that one.”

The girls joined with Eemah as best they could to serenade Mommy.

“I'll take Kasy and a car seat and find our car,” Kim said. “Sheki, you stay with Eemah and guard the luggage until I drive up.”

The little girl nodded, “Yes, mom.”

Twenty minutes later Shego was navigating as they hit interstate. Without the pressure in their ears the little girls, who had been awakened early for the plane ride, drifted off to the rhythm of the car.

“I can't see Kasy,” Kim said, looking at Sheki in the mirror, “is she asleep too?”

Shego turned and looked behind Kim, “Out like a light.”

Kim kept her voice down to let the girls sleep, but there was a slight edge in her voice, “Remind me again why we're doing this. I really don't want anyone to think we're doing this for--”

“We're doing it for the twins - plain and simple. The photos will mean something to them someday. It really bothers me we couldn't tell Grandma Gill the truth when she came to visit.”

“Bothered you more than sleeping in one of those tiny maid's rooms in the attic?”

“A hell of a lot more. She couldn't have handled us sleeping together.”

“Do you really think she believed the guest room was your room, which you were giving up for her?”

“I think I put enough clothes in the closet and dresser to fool her. God, it was fun to have her for two weeks. I never appreciated the old country recipes when I was a kid. I'm glad I had the lessons before…”

Shego couldn't finish the thought, “before she dies.”

“And you think she had no idea why I encouraged the twins to call her grandma?” Kim asked.

“Of course not, she just took it as a sign of respect.”

“All I know is she spent a lot of time holding Sheki on her lap and telling me how much she looked like your mom when she was that age.”

Shego instructed Kim to turn off at the next exit and take the highway east.

“I'm glad Nana knows her great-grandchildren,” Kim smiled.

“She hit me, Kim. Your Nana hit me! With a broom!”

“After that stunt you and Drakken pulled? Can you blame her?”

“But you told her I was reformed. You told her the girls were ours. And she hit me again!”

“Come on, Shego. She has two granddaughters, Joss and me. Would you want your oldest granddaughter married to you?”

“That's called incest, Kim.”

“You know what I mean. How would you feel if Sheki brings a criminal home to dinner some day?”

“And that justifies her hitting me the third time?”

“I took the broom away from her, didn't I?”

The subject changed to Nana's lemon squares, and then flowed to other topics as they neared their destination.

“Nice neighborhood,” Shego commented. “Any chance you changed your mind about talking?”

“No way.”

Shego let out a low whistle as they pulled into a driveway, “This is the place?”

“It's the address. I was here exactly once before in my life. Let's wake up the girls and change their outfits here before we knock.”

“If they're not here?”

“We'll come back. We've got a couple days.”

An elderly and frail looking woman answered the door. She looked shocked when she saw Kim and held the doorknob for support. “God, Kim, are you trying to kill her?” The pale woman started talking, “My client, Kim Possible, regrets bothering you. But she believes that someday her children would like pictures of themselves with their great-grandparents. Would you please allow us to take some photos? We promise to be gone as quickly as we can.” Shego made a conscious effort not to use the phrase, “as soon as possible.”

The elderly woman turned and went back into the house, leaving the door open. “Richard? We have company.”

A couple minutes passed before a man appeared at the door. He didn't look as frail, but there was a general air of brittleness about him. “My client,” Shego began again.

“My wife told me,” he said tersely. “Follow me.”

Everything was just as Kim had predicted: the house clean enough to entertain royalty and the couple looking as if they owned nothing casual to wear.

The woman was now seated on a loveseat. Shego glanced around the room as she got out the camera -- the pale woman doubted they had spent as much furnishing their whole house as had been spent on this room.

“Girls,” Shego addressed the twins, “these are your great-grandparents -- grandma Jean's mommy and daddy. Please sit by your great-grandmother and let me take some pictures.”

Kim and her grandfather stood rigidly on opposite sides of the rooms as the twins cheerfully jumped up beside this new relative. The woman looked hesitant, uncertain how to respond. “If you could put your arms around them,” Shego suggested, “it would make a better picture.”

She seemed grateful for the suggestion, and the twins snuggled in close beside her. Shego took more than a half dozen shots from different angles, then turned to Kim's grandfather. “Could you sit by your wife for some shots? After that I'd like some pictures of just you with the twins.”

He said nothing, but sat down by his wife. Kasy, finding the loveseat now a bit crowded, crawled onto her grandfather's lap. He put an arm around her stiffly, and she leaned against him and grinned at her Eemah.

After taking several more pictures Shego addressed Kim, “Come over here and stand behind the loveseat. You should be in some of the pictures.”

“No! I--”

“Kim,” Shego said in a soft tone that the redhead knew meant ‘you'd better not talk back’, “come stand behind the loveseat.”

As silent as her grandfather, Kim took up the position she was told.

“Sheki,” Shego requested, “tell your mom to smile.”

“Smile, mommy!”

It wasn't great, but Shego snapped away, knowing it was the best she was going to get.

“Eemah! Eemah!” Kasy chanted when Shego paused.

“Let me take your picture with them,” Kim told Shego.

“They're not my--”

“I don't think Kasy is giving you a choice.”

After Kim took three photos Shego reclaimed the camera, “Kasy, Sheki, jump down for just a minute. I'm going to take a couple of mommy standing behind the couch with grandma Jean's mommy and daddy.”

“I've been to funerals where the corpse looked happier than this,” Shego thought as she snapped away. “Could I have some pictures of just your husband with the twins?”

The elderly woman moved slowly to a chair on the side of the room to which Kim had returned. She divided her time watching her granddaughter and her great-granddaughters. She looked very much like she wanted to say something and Shego wondered if it was her own pride or her husband's which kept her silent.

Shego finished with pictures and put away the camera. “We thank you for your time and hope we have not inconvenienced you too much.”

“Let me show you to the door,” he offered.

“Richard,” his wife called and the two whispered together briefly as Kim waited impatiently to leave.

He said nothing as he led them to the door, but when they were almost at the rental car he called, “Young woman, ah, is Eemah your name?”

“Sharon, Sharon O'Ceallaigh.”

“May I speak with you for a minute, Miss O'Ceallaigh?”

Shego glanced at Kim, who shrugged. “I'll get the girls in their car seats. Don't be long.”

When Shego stepped back into the house he was pulling a hundred dollar bill from his wallet. “My wife and I would appreciate it if you could send copies of the pictures to us. Do you need me to write down the address?”

She stared at the bill in his outstretched hand. “You don't get it, do you? We came here to get the pictures for the sake of the twins. This wasn't for you. It wasn't for Kim. I used to think my family was crazy, but you people are fucking nuts. I'll send you the damn pictures. If you want my opinion -- and I know you don't -- call your daughter and tell her you love her. I don't know how she turned out so well.” Shego spun on her heel and was out the door before he could respond.

“Out,” Shego ordered Kim when she got to the car, “I'm driving.”

“I don't want you driving when you're upset.”

“I'll drive safely, but I want something to think about besides the family I married into.”

At the hotel that evening Kim and Shego sat in swimsuits at the pool bar while the twins splashed in the kiddie pool. Kim sipped her diet soda while Shego continued her never-ending quest to establish that no one made a strawberry daiquiri as good as hers.

“You could have told them we were lovers. That would have killed your grandmother for sure.”

“I was tempted,” Kim admitted.

“What is their problem with your dad?”

“I'm not sure. Too old. Not rich enough. Weird family--”

“Like they've got room to criticize.”

“Mom is their only child. They mapped out her life before she was born -- and she didn't follow the map. When I was a kid they'd sometimes send birthday cards with big checks to try and remind her of what she gave up. The checks always went into my college fund and I had to write a nice thank you note. I probably haven't seen them half a dozen times in my life.”

“Well, at least I know where you get your stubbornness--”

“I'm not like that!” Kim snapped. “The fact we're together--”

“Calm down, Kim. I said you're just as stubborn. You are. If you think you're right you don't let go. But you listen to reason and you can forgive. As long as you can do that your stubbornness is called tenacity and considered a virtue.”

Kim gave her a small smile, “Thanks. Can you watch the girls for awhile? I'm going to lie down, I've got a nasty headache.”

“Okay, but you owe me another one.”

“It was your idea to come here, so it's your fault I've got the headache.”

“Says the woman who claims she's nothing like her grandparents.”

Kim paused before answering, “If you ever think I'm like that, please hit me with a carp.”

“Does anyone else know how kinky you really are?”

“You think a carp is kinky? Wait until we get home. I owe you two, want four new uses for chocolate syrup or chaps and spurs?”

“Which of us wears the spurs?”

--The End--