“Hello and welcome to Big Cribsss Island…”
“Where villains cease to be mere one-dimensional ciphers to be easily vanquished by heroes…”
“And start being real! Yes!”
“Shego! That's brilliant!”
Shego looked up from the magazine she was reading and saw Drakken enthusiastically wave the remote around. “What?”
“This!” he shouted, gesturing at the television.
“Reality TV,” Shego said flatly. She looked a bit closer at the screen. “Is that Junior?”
“Yes!” said Drakken. “Don't you see, Shego, in presenting this television program, the Seniors gain the sympathy of the public and with the income of merchandise and teenyboppers using their cell phones to vote on inconsequential things they can finance their next plan for world domination!”
Shego gave Drakken a blank look. “The Seniors needing money for their next scheme? Yeah, right. If you ask me, Senior just arranged the whole thing because Junior wanted to be on TV.”
“No, no, no,” said Drakken, waving a hand. “Clearly it's all a clever plot.”
“If you say so,” said Shego, focussing her attention back on the magazine and its article about nailcare in hazardous situations.
“I think we should steal their idea,” Drakken said. “It'll make money for me and make my name known across the world! Ahaha!”
“Trying an honest job for a change, huh?”
Drakken glared at Shego. “I'll probably use some added mind-control or something. Now, what shall I name my show?”
“I'm sure you'll come up with something catchy,” Shego said.
“Aha!” Drakken exclaimed. “VillainZ!”
“Villains?”
“No no, VillainZ. With a capital ‘Z’. That kind of thing is all the hippity-hop with youngsters these days.”
“Whatever.”
“Now all I need is to find some network that'll air my new show.”
Señor Senior Senior closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. When he opened his eyes again he was, unfortunately, still looking at the desperately smiling face of Dr. Drakken. He'd rather hoped Drakken had been a mere hallucination that indicated his brain was starting to deteriorate with age.
“You want your own television show,” Senior said slowly.
“Yes,” said Drakken. “VillainZ.”
“So you said,” said Senior. “And you believe I can help you… why, exactly?”
“Well, you got your show aired, didn't you?” said Drakken.
“Only because I bought the network,” said Senior. “It was a birthday present for my son.”
“So you can decide to air my show too, right?” Drakken said hopefully.
“That is within my power, yes,” said Senior. “But I must ask: what is in it for me?”
“Better ratings?” Drakken suggested.
Señor Senior Senior sighed. “I do not think that would be much of an incentive. However…” He smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. “My son had one other little idea for a television show. You can star in it, if you want. And if you prove popular enough, I will give you your own spin-off. Deal?”
“Very well,” said Drakken. “Deal.”
“I have to what?”
Kim Possible collapsed into one of Global Justice's high-tech office chairs, her mouth wide open.
“Participate in a reality television show,” Dr. Director said calmly.
Kim's mouth opened and closed once or twice before she managed to produce some additional sounds. “Why?”
“Several villains and high-profile heroes will participate in this show. For the duration of the recordings of the show, our experts estimate the global crime level will drop significantly. Plus, having lots of villains in one place will make it easier for us to keep an eye on them.”
“This is insane,” Kim said.
“True, but we're dealing with criminal masterminds here,” said Dr. Director. “Their minds are usually only minimally attached to the real world in any case.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Yes,” said Dr. Director. “But Global Justice would greatly appreciate it if you went ahead with it anyway.”
“Alright, fine,” said Kim. “I'll do it.”