Rain splattered hard against the windowsill of the old abandoned warehouse I’d taken for my own. Every self respecting villainess needed a lair, especially if they had big plans in mind that would need as much space to be accomplished in as possible. Lighting flashed as thunder rocked the sky, illuminating the place up in all it’s hideously dusty glory. It was old, falling apart, and cold inside the building but it would have to do for now. Besides, if I put up some green curtains and maybe had a carpet installed…
But I needed money for those sort of luxuries and money was something I did not have. I couldn’t just steal what I wanted all the time, even though by far it was the easiest method. Doing those things would alert Kim Possible, and I was not ready quite yet to face her. Already I’d endangered myself by speaking with that Monique girl and causing chaos at the mall.
Which reminded me of the bum I’d saved from possible jail time. As a proper overlord of the world I would need henchmen, people to do the things that I myself would never do, and from the looks of how dirty this place was there would be some things for the bum to do that I would never do. Cleaning just isn’t my forte.
I walked across the dusty floor over to the space I’d dumped the old man and the clothing I acquired earlier that day. A flash of lighting highlighted his face and I winced again.
Gods he was dirty. And damn he smelled.
But I could fix that by forcing him to make the water run in this place. He was a bum after all, they knew how to do these things didn’t they? Then maybe later I’d run out and risk stealing a tub…There would be other things I would need as well. Technology, for one.
But where would I get any of that?
Oh, I know!
“Hello…?”
“Good evening! I’m here to interest you in some beauty products.”
“Uh…What?”
“Oh, but it looks as if I’ve come to the wrong place! I mean, just look at how…handsome…you are…”
“Uh-heh-heh. Really?”
“Yes sir, why, think about it! Your so handsome now that my products are bound to make you…irresistible!”
“That so? Well then come on in!”
I gritted my teeth together as the loud burly looking henchman in red uniform lead me into the main hall of the lair I’d so brilliantly chosen to rob. Then again, no one could really blame me if the first thing that popped into mind had been this place.
“So, how much do they cost?”
“Oh yes!” I said, adjusting the business shirt that was just a tad to tight over my chest. My plan was perfect, to pose as a solicitor and sneak right on in. So far everything had gone smoothly, even the unplanned event when I’d knocked out some random beauty products lady and stolen her clothing to wear and business bag for this adventure had gone well. I only wished this skirt had been a bit longer, I could feel a draft.
“Here they are, sir.” I said, while putting on a exaggerated cheery expression and voice to match. Under the pretense of looking for a table to place my bag of goodies on I gave the room a good look over, noticing the large computer unit against the wall, the long metal table in the center of the room stocked with tools and other strange looking gadgets, and the hallway leading to only god knows where.
I just had to remember and I’d know.
Moving over to the metal table with the henchman right behind me I set the bag down and peeked inside, pulling out some sort of bottle of lotion and tossing it behind my back to the man in question. “They call that…uh…‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Beautiful’…lotion. Makes your skin smooth and silky soft, etcetera etcetera…”
“And this will get me the girls?”
“Yes yes,” I mumbled, distracted. Now down that hallway had to be the main laboratory. Maybe even the transportation storage area. I would just have to check it out at some point, but first I had to ditch Mr. Pretty Boy.
“Just wait here! I gotta get the boys and show ‘em!”
Well, that was easy.
No one ever said Drakken’s goons were smart.
“Okay, sir!”
Then, as soon as Mr. Pretty Boy disappeared behind some random door I dumped the ugly bag of beauty products onto the tabletop, lotion and cream spilling all over the place in their plastic containers. I listened carefully, to make sure my babysitter hadn’t come back running from the clatter of the objects, but once he failed to show himself I continued on with my business.
Alright, Shego. Let’s be quick about this.
Without regard for whatever I was taking, I quickly scooped and grabbed a multitude of the tools and technology looking things from off the table, stuffing them into the bag to the best of my abilities without making it look blocky and overfilled. But now the table looked bare, and I couldn’t have that. I gathered the things I’d thrown out the bag before then and set them all up on the table.
“Mm…” I groaned. “I wonder if they’ll notice a lack of their things.”
But, as if to answer that question for me, my Pretty Boy henchman came back into the room, looking glum.
“They didn’t want to come.”
Hiding the bag behind my back I pretended to care, “Sorry about that, sir. Hey! I need to use the restroom, could you show me where it is?”
Wandering over to the table the henchman picked up a bottle of lotion, looking severely interested and giving me some half hearted point in a random direction with his thick meaty finger.
Which was toward a wall.
So I took it upon myself to go down that hallway I’d been spying since I got here.
I’ve also decided that, yes, Drakken doesn’t have smart goons at all.
Hefting my heavy bag of toys higher up on my shoulder and reaching around to tug the skirt down further on my bum I slipped into the hallway and found my assumptions were correct. I did remember this particular hall, with the three doors. One of them lead to a larger lab and the other to the transportation storage space. But the door in the middle…
Oh well, I wouldn’t be using that door anyway.
With a smirk I leaned in to press my ear against the lab door, hearing muffled voices from beyond the thick metal.
‘Really, it would be nice if you’d listen to me once in awhile.’
‘Aaaaah, but you’re just so…boooooring.’
‘Well excuse me if your small mind cannot handle my scientific concepts, Shego! Maybe if you paid attention more you wouldn’t find my intellect so boring.’
‘Doc, I’d find you boring even if I was one of the smartest people left on the planet.’
‘Well then, if I’m so boring go find yourself something useful to do! Always just sitting in a corner…doing your nails.’
‘Got to keep looking my best for the job, Doc.’
But then there was silence. Shego? As in me! The younger Shego! I had almost forgotten about that factor.
“Dammit!” I had to find some place to hide, or something! It would have been pretty damn hard to explain the reasoning of myself stealing from myself’s boss…Just thinking about it hurt my head.
I still had failed to find any sort of hiding place as the sound of my other's boots hit the metal stairs leading to the door I was pressed against. I panicked…Or would it be as the sound of my younger self’s boots? Whatever! It didn’t matter anyway, I soon found myself crushed against the wall as my younger self threw open the door and smacked me with it.
Ow…
“Eh? Thought I heard something,” Shego mumbled before I heard the sound of her…my? Our? Boots thunder off down the hall.
Peeling myself from off the wall I growled, fingertips blazing with plasma fire. I shook it off. I couldn’t help it if myself acted the way she did. Oh goodness, I was confused already. After all, I’m sure if I’d known I was behind the door I wouldn’t have done what I did.
Okay. Enough of that.
When I entered the room I had exited mere moments ago, my younger self, not me…the future self, I found Drakken hunched over some contraption that I failed to remember about.
My, I really didn’t pay much attention to the crazy scientist did I?
It was just as well, he was a fool.
I moved swiftly down the stairs, only after I hit that last step did Dr. Drakken seem to notice he wasn’t the only one in the lab anymore, but he didn’t turn around, just rolled his shoulders back with a sniffle.
“Shego! Be a dear and hand me a wrench.”
I turned quickly, thinking my younger self to be behind me but then I grinned. Oh yes, I’m Shego as well.
I’d been The Supreme One for so long that I’d forgot who I used to be.
Glancing around I found a table soon enough, with a few more gadgets and accessories, which I more then happily stuffed into my fat lil’ bag. When I came to the wrench I made sure to keep it handy to hand to the Doctor.
“Here ya go, Doc.” I said, sporting a wide grin.
In some small part of me, I almost missed this.
Almost.
Taking the wrench from my grasp Drakken nodded, going back to his work while I moved away and lugged my heavy bag back onto my shoulder. Being fairly intelligent myself as the years grew on I knew enough scientific mumbo jumbo to craft my own dooms day device if I had enough equipment, and from the weight of the bag on my shoulder I could say I had enough.
If I needed more I could just come back.
“Oh and She…go?”
Oh damn.
“Good evening, Dr. D.” I smirked, enjoying the confused expression that graced his lil’ blue face.
“Shego, when did you change clothes? Or get those highlights?”
Double damn.
“Um. Don’t worry about it, Dr. D. I had a…uh, growth spurt?”
“A growth spurt can effect hair? My, you learn something new everyday.”
Or something stupid…
“YOU DID WHAT!”
The sound of my loud angered younger self’s voice startled both of us and soon enough Drakken was looking at me as if he was more then just confused, more so suspicious of me now.
This isn’t how my plan was suppose to go, but I never did put in the factor of my younger self being…well here, where she was employed.
For me to be so smart I suddenly felt rather dumb.
“Well, Dr. D., I’ve got to go.”
“Now wait just a moment!” Drakken said, followed by a very loud crash.
But I was gone with my bag of supplies before Drakken could even untangle himself from his latest invention. Up the stairs and into the hallway, only to turn my head and see younger Shego dragging Pretty Boy who was holding a bottle of the lotion I was suppose to be selling him.
“Now, you can be the one to tell Dr. D you lost some lotion lady in his…lair?”
I think we stood like that for awhile, me staring at her, her staring at me, the henchman staring at the lotion, Drakken complaining about decent help and yelling my name…our name.
“I told Drakken no more clones!”
I burst into the room across from the lab then, into the room where the transportation was.
“It must be some scheme of Possible’s!” Drakken’s voice boomed. I guess he’d finally made it up the steps.
“What? I thought this was your doing! Where do you get off putting me in such a skimpy looking business outfit?”
Okay, so I guess the skirt was a little shorter then I thought, and the shirt was tight but I wasn’t wearing anything skimpy was I?
“That’s the lotion lady! Hey lady I wanna buy some of these!”
Damn stupid big mouthed little–
“What?” Young Shego said, bursting into the room just as I had begun to climb into a hover craft.
“Uh…” I mumbled, thrusting one of my legs over the edge before hopping in completely with my bag.
“Hey you, you who looks like me!” It was at this time my younger self’s hands began to glow with that green fire.
“Wait Shego, you’ll blow up my babies if you miss!” Drakken said, throwing himself at myself…at…younger self…at Shego? Yes, at Shego.
Because I was The Supreme One, no longer Shego.
“I never miss!” Shego growled, having a pretty hard time aiming my way as I powered up the hover car.
“Hmph.” I muttered, lifting the hand that wasn’t holding onto the steering handle. I felt the familiar sensation of heat caress my fingers as my hand burst with my own plasma fire and I released it right at the ceiling.
“It has my power too?” Shego screeched, flinging an arm over her body to shield it from the falling debris, obviously not pleased with me. “And get offa me, Drakken!”
“Haha!” I cackled, grasping the steering handles and driving the hover car right on up and through the hole in the ceiling I’d made.
“That’s no clone!” Drakken said, but his voice was fading. It was the last thing I heard before I shifted the hover car away from the building at full speeds.
After all, I didn’t have time to toy with the past. I had more errands to complete to make sure my revenge went as smooth as possible.
Now, what color should I get that carpet and those curtains…
When I kicked open the door to my new home sweet home I found that my bum was up and moving about.
“Oh good, you’re concious.”
“Ah!” The bum yelled.
“Yes yes, thank you for the lovely warm welcome, now come on and help me carry in this carpet.”
I watched my bum coldly as he shuffled out to grab onto the long roll of carpet I’d stolen from some place called ‘Carpets N’ Curtains Are Beyond Us!’. Really, the names people come up with stores these days.
I smiled, sorta, when he came back in with his load just as he had been told. He’d make a good henchman yet.
“I want you to roll that out and help me fix this place up, you know? Like a…a lair of sorts.”
“Where did ya get all this stuff though, eh girly?”
“Stole it.” Though I really shouldn’t have. Hadn’t I just been thinking about lying low until my plan was completed? It’s like I’m subconsciously trying to kick up Kim Possible’s suspicions and bring her running in here.
Well, maybe I was. I couldn’t help it if I yearned to strangle the very life from those bright beautiful green eyes of hers. Or listen to her scream with those lovely kissable lips.
Eh?
Oh hell, I must need sleep. Stealing things and trying not to be caught is an exhausting job, after all.
“Hm. This place is small but it will have to do. Maybe I can put up those curtains over there, what do you think?” I said, pointing to a far window nearest the ceiling. Work, yes work. That would keep my mind off my enemy. Who I was not thinking about sexually, nope, sure wasn’t!
I’m insane, not lustful. I want to mangle Kim Possible’s body not fu--
“It’s awfully high up there…”
“Huh? Oh yes…it is isn’t it? Maybe we should paint those windows black instead? Of course then I’d have to steal a ladder and paint…” I mumbled, turning to exit the warehouse once again.
“U-uh, girly, where ya going?”
“To get paint and a ladder of course, you can’t fly can you?”
“M-me? Fly? Wait, I’m scared of heights, lady!”
“Well, we’ll fix that won’t we? And call me boss or Supreme One…”
“But lady!”
“What was that?” I growled, hands bursting with green light.
“Uh, nothing boss.” My bum stuttered, knocking his knees together with fear.
“Thought so. Oh and while I’m gone go ahead and clean this place up. The curtains are outside and there’s a heavy bag too, watch the stuff inside it’s breakable.”
“Breakable?”
“Yes, just like your body.” I replied, quite cheerfully.
“A-alright, boss.”
Just as I got ready to climb into the empty hover car I paused.
“You know what? Call me Mistress instead.”
Yeah, Mistress…I like that word.
“Uh…right Mistress.”
“Now get to work!” I yelled down, the car already up and ready to travel. “I want this place looking halfway decent when I get back…and I won’t be long either.”
“Mistress, wait!” My bum yelled, just as I was getting ready to take off.
“Yeaaah?” I whined, “What is it now?”
“Are you going out like that?”
“Like what?” Then I looked down. “Oh…” I was still dressed like Slutty Mc. Door To Door Sales Woman.
Well, I’d change first.
Maybe even bathe if I could get the bum to hook up some running water.
Then I’d go finish getting the things for my new empire home base.
After all, it wasn’t as if I was racing against time or anything.
To be continued…