Four Years Later

As she listened to Kim’s rapid footsteps fading to complete and utter silence, Shego turned around to face Drakken, the tiny, innocent-appearing microchip still resting dormant in her hand. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “Promise me one thing, Dr Dee – in addition to that cure.”

Drakken’s replying tone was sickeningly sweet – and it made Shego want to gag. “Whatever is within my power, my dear Shego; after all, I will have to take care of you for five years, so anything that will make it easier for you is yours.” The sliver of a self-satisfied smile contradicted the almost subservient nature of his words.

Shego felt her insides churn uneasily when she remembered a half-forgotten fact about this little blue man. He had, at one time at least, believed that he loved her – and it had been nothing like the bond she now shared with one beautiful and irresistible Kim Possible. His had most definitely been the manipulative and selfish variety of love, so unlike Kimmie’s. Sure, Kim had played with Shego’s mind back in her house earlier that day, but that had only been to drive Shego up out of the depression that her own words had created within her. And for that, Shego would be immeasurably grateful.

Drakken probably wouldn’t be so considerate.

Shuddering at the thought of being forced to participate in Drakken’s twisted perversion of romance, Shego forced herself to press on. “Promise me you won’t involve Possible in any of your schemes – victim, accomplice, or otherwise.”

Drakken heaved a deep sigh of exasperation, and Shego almost grinned. Almost. Thank God for Blue Boy’s naïveté. “This respect you have for the do-gooder has clearly gotten way out of hand, Shego…” His grumbling was quiet, but easily heard through Shego’s experience-trained ears. “But alright,” he raised his voice finally, speaking more clearly as he consented to something that must have sounded quite ludicrous. “Fair enough – I accept. Not a single hair from Kim Possible’s head will be found anywhere near my operations for the next five years. Is that good enough for you?”

Shego studied the man intently, and not a little suspiciously. “I’ll hold you to this deal, Drakken.” She moved toward the arrogant little man, easily towering over his tiny frame. “I promise you this,” she held two un-gloved fingers under his chin, perilously close to the man’s larynx. “If you double cross me again, I will get free, and when I do, the beating I gave you last time will look like a paper cut in comparison.”

Drakken spread his hands before himself innocently, harmlessly – and he smiled far too sweetly for Shego’s comfort. “My dear, Shego – surely you can see that I am no match for your quite formidable martial arts skills, so how would I dare to even conceive to betray you? Uh – Again.” He laughed warmly “With a threat as you’ve just given me, I’d be a fool to pull a stunt like that.”

Shego just kept staring at the man. He was certainly a study in contradictions; his smile and body language were welcoming inviting trust and peace, but his emotions were a colourful mixture of excitement, glee, anticipation, and no small pinch of arrogance and pride. Altogether the scent-flavour Doctor Drakken’s mind was giving off was sweet enough to kill a candy store, and Shego’s experience of taste-smelling it was something not unlike having an entire four kilo bag of sugar jammed simultaneously up her nose and down her throat,. This made Drakken’s emotional bouquet at once aggravating and infuriating, because one – the sweet flavour was enough to turn Shego’s stomach; and two – no one ever force fed her anything if they knew what was best for them; and three – there wasn’t a more appealing mind close by to provide any form of relief.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, Shego found herself thinking suddenly.

She’d never tell Kim, but she had to admit it to herself at the very least. She had to confess that all of Kim’s arguments had brought her to within a single hair’s breadth of telling Drakken to go screw himself and then shoving his cure and his mind control straight up his ass – plasma-wreathed hands included. But, Kim’s last statement had made Shego’s mind certain on her chosen course. Kim might be willing to trade a thousand lifetimes without Shego’s touch in order that she may preserve her partner’s integrity, but that was just more proof that the adorable little heroine was more a giver than a receiver.

Shego wasn’t so willing to make that sacrifice. If she were totally honest with herself, Shego would have to admit that since she embraced her real feelings for her former nemesis, a bit of a giving attitude had been growing within her as well – but only for a certain emerald-eyed Princess. The rest of the world could tear itself to pieces for all she cared.

But to spend a lifetime on the receiving end of care as complete and loving as Kimmie’s with no chance of ever returning the gestures? Shego wouldn’t allow it – she couldn’t allow it. Kim deserved something in return for her willingness to forsake any hope of feeling Shego’s touch without the inevitable pain that always accompanied it – especially because she was so freely willing to cast her own needs and desires aside for her partner.

Said partner had never really thought that Kim was glad to be…untouchable, as it were, but the thought had – to her shame – nagged at her more than a few times since they’d “confronted” each other in her hotel room. I mean…why in God’s name is she so willing to have a relationship when there’s no way in this life we’ll ever be capable of intimacy? I know we could do it with my gloves, but I refuse to go that far and be so handicapped that I can’t feel her.

Shego shook her head slowly from side to side, awed once again at how quickly she’d gone soft – how eagerly her world had shifted to accommodate her unlikely companion. I know our feelings go so far beyond physical, but – damn! I want the physical too. God – to hold that girl in my arms and not have to worry about where my hands are – to slide my fingers across her face and be free to revel in the softness and warmth of her instead of straining to hold in a plasma bolt? Five years of my Pride is a small price to pay for that.

“Alright,” Shego finally replied. I never thought I’d ever do this for anyone, but Kimmie – you’re worth it. God – you’re worth so much more to me. Five years of service to Drakken for the rest of a lifetime with you? I’d do it in a heartbeat, and that’s what scares me the most…

Shego glanced back down at the innocuous – and almost benign-looking – microchip in her safely gloved hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Drakken.”

Without waiting for a reply from the smug little man in front of her, Shego raised the chip up to her left temple with one finger. See you in five years, Kimmie. Then, she stabbed the chip on her finger into her head with one short, jabbing motion.

The instant the chip made contact with her skin, Shego felt its neural interfacing circuits take hold and her entire body was wracked with pain – pain light years beyond anything she had experienced since the last time Drakken had hit her with this thing – pain like she’d just driven a steel rail spike straight into her own head instead of a square of silicon and circuitry. Every muscle in the tall villainess’ body seized up on her, torn between the conflicting commands of two masters for the barest few seconds. Shego’s brain was telling her body to writhe and contort at the excruciating pain, but the delicate circuits of Drakken’s Neural Compliance chip were ordering her to remain motionless unless otherwise instructed by the programmed owner.

Then, just like that, the pain was gone as the mind control chip asserted control over Shego’s body, roughly shoving the villainess into the farthest corner of her own mind. Well, she thought; better settle in for the duration – it’s gonna be a long five years…

The first thing that Shego noticed – aside from the whole mind control aspects of the situation, of course – was the complete and total emotional vacuum that surrounded her. The same thing had happened the last time; the mind control chip had cleanly cut her off from her empathy. Last time, it had been something of a relief at first – to be suddenly free of the constant emotional noise – like leaving an exciting Rock concert that threatened to burst her eardrums with every sound. But, in the end, after the couple days it took for Kim’s dweeby brothers to fry the chip, after forty-eight hours of that cavernous silence, Shego had begun to crave that constant background hum of other minds once more. Because, when it came down to the wire, a great concert was still a great concert – despite damaged eardrums.

Shego’s first whiff of emotions after being freed from that first chip had been like crawling and clawing her way up out of the darkest, coldest abysmal cavern in the world and into the brilliant sunshine of the upper world. Usually, Shego wasn’t one to seek out sunshine, but after spending days stuck in the cold darkness, who wouldn’t chase after the light? The fact that Kim Possible had been standing next to her at the time had made the return of her empathy all the sweeter. Oh, man – how much more intense will it be after five years to have Kim beside me again?

Hoping that thought could sustain her for the coming years, that the promise of how passionate their reunion was likely to be could keep her hope alive, Shego settled down in her little corner of her mind and prepared herself for the inevitable ranting monologue that the blue-faced man before her was sure to grace her ears with now that she couldn’t just ignore him like she used to.

“Excellent!” Drakken clapped his hands, rubbing them together gleefully and bouncing on his feet like an excited child with a new toy. “I knew you would see things my way.” His tone darkened considerably. “You made the right choice, Shego. Oh, the things I could do now…”

“Yes, Doctor Drakken!”

The voice was high, articulate, and oh-so-eye-poppingly emotionless, devoid of any sign of intelligence whatsoever. More painful than that, however, was the fact that the brainless, airy words had emerged from between Shego’s own two lips. Damn, she thought furiously, trapped deep inside her own body. This is going to be a much longer five years than I thought if I already want to tear my own vocal chords out of my throat. She sighed mentally; oh well, I made my deal – now I have to live with it.

Drakken let out a short burst of creepy laughter, his dark, beady little eyes shining sinisterly. “I had to make a few more promises than I would have expected in order to get you to agree to this deal, Shego. But,” his grin became devilish but lost most of its effect because the man’s skin was still blue no matter how one looked at him. “Fortunately for me, being a villain entitles me to certain…liberties regarding my word and whether I actually have to keep it.”

Shego was sure her blood would have frozen in her veins if she had been in control of her body. God Dammit! Why didn’t I listen to Kimmie? What the Hell’s he got planned for me now that I can’t defend myself?

The trapped woman knew no rescue would be forthcoming – not for at least five years. Kim wouldn’t be making any heroic attempts to save her because, for better or worse, she and Shego each held a great deal of respect for the other. The mutual respect that flowed between them was what made them who they were. It was one of the reasons Kim had never used the full extent of her powers to destroy her nemesis, why Shego had eventually turned her back on the idea of killing the girl, and it was the reason Kim wasn’t going to go back on her word. Sure, Kim had disagreed with Shego’s decision and had tried to dissuade her partner from taking the course she had seen as a colossally bad idea, but in the end, she’d accepted Shego’s decision to take Drakken’s offer –simply because it was her decision to make. In the end, Kim stood by Shego’s choice and hoped for the best for her lover.

For perhaps the first time in her life, Shego almost wished Kim’s respect had failed for just the single instant it would have taken to drag Shego from the room. Of course, if Kim had thrown her respect by the wayside, Shego would not have known about her new slave master’s ulterior motives – kinda transparent now that she thought about it – and she would likely never have forgiven Kim for her meddling.

Not for a very, very long time at least.

Talk about, “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”

So, the way things stood now, Shego had five years of torture to live through before a rescue appeared in any form – but she was stubbornly determined to live through it, if only to hear Kim say, “I told you so” in that oh-so-annoying way. Shego doubted that phrase could sound any more refreshing, any more beautiful than from between the lips of her newfound love. And if it cost her five years of pain to get to hold Kim in her arms – gloves or not – she would endure. If Shego had to go through Hell – if she had to experience a hundred years of agony for the five she’d agreed to just because her heroine was too noble to force the villainess’ hand, she would survive.

But I won’t blame her for this, Shego resolved from her corner.This was my doing, not hers. I’m a prisoner because I chose to be so, not because Kim didn’t act.

“Well, my dear henchwoman,” Dr Drakken sneered at her arrogantly, all pretence of chivalry and politeness gone. Yeah, I’d love to see how arrogant you’d be if I were free – you little blue punk. “Where shall I begin? Oh, the choices are simply endless!” He threw his hands up in the air and spun in a circle, bouncing on his toes like a giddy – and insane – schoolgirl. “When last we met, your attitude towards me was quite unacceptable – we’ll have to work on that.”

Oh, Shego mused. Breaking both your legs, dislocating both your shoulders, and nearly snapping your neck – not to mention bruising the rest of you up rather nicely – is “unacceptable”? Shego made a mental note of that. Well, damn it all – what would you consider to be unforgivable – would I have to hang you by your intestines? I think I could do it with the way I’m feeling now…

Drakken grew more serious, almost pensive. “It took me a long time to figure out how you discovered the truth behind my ruse…the true genius behind your transformation. While I languished in Global Justice’s improved prison facility, I turned this all over in my head.” Blue Boy stopped for a moment and laughed like he’d just told a hilarious joke. “Oh, I was plotting how best I could take my revenge from you as well, make no mistake – but first I had to escape without your help.” He grinned self-righteously. “Well, Global Justice couldn’t hold a man of my intellect for very long, could they?” He chortled wildly again.

Oh, please. Shego almost felt her eyes roll. I’ve got more brains in my foot than you have between your ears. GJ probably staged the jailbreak for you…cut the power to their own facility for a few hours or something like that.

“But one thing always made me think.” Drakken was still rambling, throwing fuel onto Shego’s fury and rage with every single word. “In the end, I had to simply assume that Kim Possible told you something, but that presumption never really sat well enough with me.” He began to limp slowly around Shego’s standing form, gesturing animatedly. “I mean – what could she possibly have said that would compel you to go against me? For three years, I supported you – I provided for you. I gave you everything you asked…” Yeah, except the truth about my entire changed view of the world, you lying, perverted, idiotic rat of a man… “Why did you trust her – how could you possibly have managed to find it in yourself to believe anything that accursed cheerleader said? What power could she possess that could pierce through and undo the masterpiece I had created – that could unweave the web I made by so tarnishing her name?”

“You are a bad liar, Doctor Drakken!”

Yeah, and I’ve got something called a brain – what?

Trapped deep within her mind, Shego perked up; those had been her words not the chip’s. Granted, her response to the blue wonder’s last question had been a little harsher, and had contained more than a few pretty vulgar and graphic references to members of his family and certain…sensitive areas of his anatomy, but what she’d said out loud had been very close to her desired reply. Now, lose the repulsively cheerful tone, and that might have almost sounded like me.

The first chip Drakken had used – stolen – had turned its wearers into mindless yes-men – or rather, yes-women since only Kim and Shego had been unfortunate enough to get caught with it. This had left both girls unable to say anything rude or remotely insulting to their oh-so-detestable master.

This chip, on the other hand, had allowed Shego’s mind to shine through for a brief second to almost say what she’d been thinking. So, either Drakken’s second generation chips were programmed to allow a higher leniency for individuality, or Shego’s mind was succeeding in partially wrestling control back from the chip. Both seemed unlikely – Drakken being a little biased against backtalk and Shego’s empathy seeming a poor weapon against mind control. On the other hand, Shego could think of no other reasons why the chip on her head had allowed her to speak even the mildly insulting words that she had.

Drakken’s annoying voice broke into her thoughts, intruding on the somewhat-comfortable silence. “Now, you see? As I turned my problem over in my hands, I began to see what it was that made you such a strong willed woman, for I knew that your greatest strength would also be your greatest weakness.”

Oh, enlighten me please, you brainless sack of flesh…

“It was Pride. Your pride in your comet-given powers as well as in your quick wit, and many other traits made you a formidable opponent but if I could strip that from you, you would quickly fall to my own superior evil. Without your Pride, your mind would become putty in my hands, paint on my palette.”

You delusional, blind little man…Shego wanted to deck the man for even suggesting that she was nothing more than a personality trait. Even before the past thirty-six hours had happened, Shego had embodied more than just her pride. Not much, but there was more to her than Pride. But…now that she thought about it, the Shego that Drakken knew really had been ruled by Pride; pride in her abilities, pride in her independent, free spirit, in her fast mouth and faster fists…and even a little pride in her Plasma, the ability to blast through bomb shelters with the ease of making a wish on dandelions. If Drakken had indeed stripped her of her pride, it could very well have destroyed her. But, four years of real freedom and a true friend in Norway had taught Shego a few things, both about herself and about her own true, unfiltered view of the world. Without Drakken to keep annoying her and taint her self image and her worldly view, Shego had rediscovered her core values and dreams. And now, now that Shego had given part of herself to someone – it was love after all, or at least, she was pretty sure it was love – there was no way in this world or the next that Drakken could ever kill her the way he wanted. He wanted an obedient sidekick who would serve as a convenient prison for his wild, individualistic sidekick. But, with Kim holding a part of Shego in her heart – knowingly or not – Shego could survive anything. And once Kim came to rescue and restore Shego…

Heaven help the blue man.

“You know, Shego,” Drakken went on, having completely ignored or dismissed her earlier spoken comment. “You really shouldn’t have been so angry with me back then – you could have been thanking me.”

Oh, really?

“After all, it was my mutagenic formula that has made you the woman – the villain – that you are today.”

Don’t you even start, Drakken…

Drakken continued his slow, impaired walk around Shego, “I remember what you told me after that whole Team Go incident, Shego – as well as some things about your past that I dug up on my own. Oldest of your family and without a Go Team Glow… your younger years must have been difficult. But, the Harold Grimer incident makes it absolutely clear that you were a force to fear. Nevertheless, as dangerous as you were in your youth, you would still be nothing without me. Without my genius, you would still be nothing more than a heroine playing at villainy.”

Shego felt her rage rising like a volcano at Drakken’s words. Oh, you did not just say that. I was a thousand times the villain you ever even thought you were – Plasma or not.

“You should have been on your knees thanking me for it all when you found out it was me.” Drakken came around Shego to stand in front of her and stare into her eyes with far more bravado than she would have expected. It was most likely due to the fact that she couldn’t fight back this time. “My gift to you has made you one-of-a-kind – unique – the best. Your Plasma makes you the most dangerous woman alive on this planet – and once upon a time, that was all you’d ever wanted. I will remind you of those times.” He turned away for a second but then looked straight up into Shego’s eyes, “I will remind you what it feels like to be a dangerous woman – a force to be reckoned with.”

Just what are you planning, you sad, sad little man?

“But first,” Drakken paused dramatically – absurdly, “first you will see how much of a Great your plasma will make you when used by the right mind.” He stopped for a moment before continuing in a slow, contemplative voice, “We were together for three years, Shego, and not once were you ever able to carry out the one task I created you for.” Oh, no… “Oh sure, you certainly injured her every once in a while, oftentimes less seriously than not, but time and again, Kim Possible foiled my plans. Time after time, you had her at your mercy and you choked.”

Oh – God, no…

Shego felt her horror rising as Drakken’s voice took on an arrogant, snivellingly victorious tone, “I always knew something was holding you back, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that it might be your own feelings for that girl. Well, no longer,” Dr Drakken drew himself up to his full height, which actually wasn’t impressive in the least. “From this moment on, your absurd and frivolous respect for Kim Possible is nothing more than a phantom of memory. Under my control and guidance, you will finally be ruthless enough to fight the one battle that will make you complete – the one victory that you’ve always wanted.” Drakken paused again. “You’ll finally be top dog around this world, and then you’ll thank me for it; you will thank me everyday for it.”

Shego struggled vainly against the chip’s control. It’s not what I want, Drakken! It wasn’t ever when I wanted – and even when I thought it was, it was on my terms.

“With Kim Possible out of the way forever, you my dear Shego will finally be the most dangerous villain alive, and then…then we shall be unstoppable.”

Drakken…if I ever get free, I’ll make you suffer so much you’ll wish your ancestors were never born. Shego felt her rage giving way to desperation as she realized she wouldn’t be able to stop what Drakken had planned for her partner.

“Shego,” an evil grin spread across Dr Drakken’s face.

No – don’t. Shego’s anger and rage finally fell away and her pride shattered to reveal the truly pitiful state to which her mind had already fallen, not five minutes after getting chipped. I won’t kill her – I will never become a murderer for you, do you hear me? I will never kill Kim Possible! Shego denied her master’s obvious intentions with everything she had, but she knew the truth. Deep down, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself if Drakken ordered her to take her plasma to her lover’s beautiful, smooth face.

“…It is time…”

No…

“Bring me Kim Possible. Unharmed.”

Shego blinked as her hands moved automatically to slip on her other almleti-lined glove, giving the other one a testing tug to make sure it was secure.

Well, I guess that isn’t so bad…

Idiot.

---

It was really disheartening how little time it took to find Kim.

Under the control of Drakken’s chip, Shego followed the shortest route to her bike and found her prey immediately outside the slagged lower door of the Lair. It looked like the heroine had simply collapsed on the stairs that led up to the street.

Dammit, Kimmie – why did you stop? Shego stopped walking when she was within reach of the prone redhead. “Doctor Drakken has demanded your capture, Kim Possible. You will come with me.”

Looking up slowly, Kim revealed a pale, tear-streaked face to Shego, and the cold-hearted villainess wanted nothing more than to gather the younger woman up into her arms and wipe those tears from her face.

God, Kimmie – why are you torturing yourself like this? Get out – I can’t protect you…

“Shego?” Kim’s bright emerald eyes searched her partner’s blank expression, looking for something. “I know you’re in there, Shego,” she whispered fearfully, brokenly. “I know you can hear me – you can see me – but I can’t feel you anymore. It’s like you’re not even here…” Kim’s searching eyes became desperate and they moved faster, probing deeper into the twin pools of empty, lifeless green darkness. “I’m so scared I won’t ever see you again – the real you…not this…thing that Drakken’s made you into.”

Shego felt that confession like a knife to her stomach. I’m here! She screamed it as loud as she could into the maelstrom that dominated her mind, the complex, swirling thoughts and processes that she could no longer control. She screamed it with Drakken’s chip holding her down – holding her back – straining to move on her own, lift a finger…anything to tell Kim that she was all right.

Even as her hands reached out for Kim, Shego shrieked in her mind. I’m here, Kim – now stop crying and run! I can’t stop this from happening.

Her hands closed around Kim’s shoulders, her arms roughly pulling the redhead tight against her. “Do not resist, Kim Possible.” Shego felt her grip on her prisoner tighten and she began to march back into the Lair.

“Don’t worry, Shego.” Kim whispered as she relaxed in Shego’s unresponsive, iron grip. “I know you’re not in control anymore and I don’t blame you for anything that’s about to happen.”

Shego was a little too busy panicking for Kim’s words to reassure her. Oh, God no…he’s not planning to – no! Never again!

But as the two of them made their way back to Drakken’s room, Shego felt a growing suspicion that her worst thoughts were going to be proven right.

And Drakken’s reaction to the sight of Kim Possible restrained in Shego’s arms certainly didn’t help matters.

“Ah – welcome, Kim Possible!” Drakken beamed at Shego as she hauled Kim back into the room – as if she’d run off and captured the slim redhead all on her own. “There you go, Shego – now doesn’t that feel better? The proper order is restored – hero and villain so clearly divided and unevenly matched.”

“Yes, Doctor Drakken!”

Well, so much for not being a brainless yes-woman.

Inside – needless to say –, Shego was seething with rage uncontrollable, her mind an incoherent mess of dark, violent thoughts. It was only when Drakken reached out to Kim where she stood trapped in Shego’s grip that her thoughts became clear enough to perceive. It was like the immediate threat to Kim’s safety triggered an intense and almost Jedi-ish focus in Shego’s mind, where all emotion was stilled and only conscious thought remained.

If you lay a single hand on her, you vile and disgusting worm, I’ll make you eat that hand; slowly, raw, and still attached to your arm. I swear, you’d better be on your knees after this – praying to God that I never get free.

It didn’t even register until it was too late that Drakken had just attached a Neural Compliance chip to Kim’s forehead. No!

No, no, no, no, no…!

Even in the midst of her stubborn, desperate, despairing denial, Shego felt Kim stiffen in her arms as the chip took hold, and she could easily imagine the grim expression of pain that her partner now wore. As Kim started to jerk and spasm wildly against her captor, Shego worried that perhaps Kim’s more…unique mind was having trouble letting go of control – unlike Shego’s own slightly less powerful mind. But that doesn’t make any sense, she thought. She was a telepath back then, too – wasn’t she?

Finally, after maybe a full minute of thrashing, Shego’s captive relaxed in her arms and Drakken went into full monologue mode again.

“Well now, girls; once again, I have the two of you under my complete control – as long as the prime directives remain operative.” He grinned widely as if he had no clue that he’d just told them the weakness in the microchips’ construction – the chink in their armour. Of course, awareness of a weakness was one thing. Knowing what the prime directives were in the first place and having the freedom to exploit that weakness was something else entirely.

“Go on, Shego,” Drakken ordered smoothly. “You may release Ms Possible now – she won’t be going anywhere, will you, Kimberly-Anne?”

“Yes, Doctor Drakken!”

“No, Doctor Drakken!”

Shego and Kim both chimed in their replies together, and Shego felt an overwhelming urge to tear both their throats out. God Dammit, she fumed, Airhead in stereo…

Shego felt her hands loosen from around Kim’s shoulders and she despaired when her partner made no move to run or tear Drakken a new one, remaining instead trapped in her own body. Just like Shego.

Would you take a look at us? Shego considered the situation they were in. Who would have thought we could be such chumps? I actually thought that Drakken might be on the level…how about you, Kimmie? Did you fall for his whole sales pitch?

“Now, Kim Possible.” Drakken reached into his blue lab coat-slash-coverall and fiddled with some object. “You have a great deal of respect for my Shego, don’t you?”

Your Shego? Please.

“Yes, Doctor Drakken!”

And how do you feel about the situation in which I have placed her – how do you feel about the fact that she cannot use her hands without a solid barrier of my specially designed Drakk-alloy?”

Drakk-alloy – are you serious? Shego felt disbelief and annoyance rise up together in her own mind. Well, she thought. I suppose it’s better than Drakcanada.

“It’s sad,” Kim’s hollow voice replied simply, elaborating no further.

“Oh, is that so? Well then –.”

“Yes, Doctor Drakken!”

“Shut it!” Drakken barked suddenly before pouting immaturely. “I’m ranting, Possible, so let me be.”

“Yes, Doctor –!”

“What did I just say?” Drakken snapped at Kim and then tapped his foot impatiently, waiting to see if Kim would speak again. Kim fell silent, but Shego was giggling ever so slightly deep inside her own mind, grateful for the much needed comic relief in this hopeless situation. Oh, man…it’s like Abbott and Costello. I needed that…

“Thank you, Kimberly.” Drakken turned to face Shego, “now where was I? Don’t answer that,” he amended even as the pale villainess felt her lips parting to answer the question. Her black-painted lips slammed back together at the blue man’s command, leaving Shego to curse the insane little man’s existence from the aching solitude of her head. “Now, Kim Possible – how would it make you feel if Shego managed to be cured of her…condition? If she were to suddenly become able to touch whomever she wished whenever she pleased?”

“I would be very happy for her.” The bland, airy monotone with which Kim delivered her reply sounded completely absurd and thoroughly irritating as it emerged from between Kim’s lips and pierced into Shego’s ears like flaming arrows.

“Oh?” Drakken seemed genuinely surprised. “Well, well, well – will you look at this, Shego?” He grinned gleefully as his scheme apparently went off without a hitch. “It would seem, my dear, that you and Miss Possible share a very powerful mutual respect for one another – one that continues to baffle me.” Dr Drakken turned to Kim once more, “And what would you do with your happiness then, eh Kimberly?”

“I would celebrate with her.”

Ain’t that the truth? Shego imagined what kind of things she would do with Kim if she had her hands back – even for no more than an hour.

Drakken nodded slowly, a small devious smirk spreading across his round face. “Aha – thank you, Kim Possible; you have just given me a wonderful idea – the perfect way to torture both of you.” He withdrew his hand from inside his jumpsuit, bringing into view that now-familiar vial of rosy pink fluid. “Here, Kim – if you would be so kind as to hold this for me…that’s a girl.” He gave a gleeful grin when Kim’s hand came up to accept the small object from him. “Now, come – stand right here. Turn to face us…good.” Drakken turned to Shego. “Watch closely now, Shego; Kim Possible here is about to do the one thing you will never forgive her for – the one crime for which there can be no absolution.”

Shego could have sworn she felt her own heart transform into a solid mass of ice in her chest. No – don’t you dare, Drakken. Don’t you fucking dare!

But Drakken couldn’t hear Shego, and his attention was still firmly fixed upon his latest addition to his army of minions. “Kim Possible,” he began in a cool voice that only barely managed to hide his excitement. “Do you see that vial in your hand?”

“Yes, Doctor Drakken!”

Drakken stared straight at Shego.

“Drop it.”

There was a single moment’s hesitation, during which Kim’s hand seemed to tighten its grip – almost as if she was trying to keep her hold on the vial – but then the tiny vial was released from her hand. Almost in slow motion, the vial plummeted through space to strike the concrete floor of Dr Drakken’s lair.

In the complete silence that pervaded the room, a sharp but barely audible clink marked the impact of the vial with the floor. Shego could do nothing but watch as the tiny container shattered on contact, scattering the scant few millilitres of healing liquid onto the floor to make a small pool at Kim’s feet.

“There you see?” Drakken gestured to the floor between Kim’s feet. “And so ends any hope of you ever getting that cure, Shego.”

Those words, coupled with the sight of the shattered vial on the floor, ignited the inferno that was Shego’s radioactive rage. I’ll give you no hope, you pompous, self-absorbed, manipulative horse’s ass! Just give me one fucking second of freedom and I’ll get that cure from you.

“Oh,” Drakken interrupted Shego’s thoughts as if he’d just had a sudden idea. “And if you’re entertaining the notion of torturing me for the cure, my dear, I wouldn’t hope for much. Torturing me will do you no good because I really can’t help you. I destroyed all my notes and research on Shego’s powers, and then I used my brain scanning devices to remove all knowledge of the cure so that won’t work for you either.” He stopped talking suddenly and turned to point one finger squarely at his former sidekick. “Do you see, Shego? I have won. The game is mine! From now until the day you die, you exist for the sole purpose of serving me.”

Shego was awestruck. Who knew that such cruelty lay within this unimpressive little man – such insanity?

Then again, she thought; I did leave him half-dead in his own Lair last time. That’s probably enough to drive anyone over the edge.

While Shego stood lost in her own thoughts, Drakken had moved on to other business, “Now Kim, why don’t you get started cleaning up the Lair? Make yourself familiar with the layout of this place and then work from top to bottom.”

“Yes, Doctor Drakken!” Kim started to move, but Drakken’s voice stopped her mid-step.

“Oh, and one more thing, Possible,” Drakken stepped over to his redheaded puppet and rested one hand on her shoulder, “don’t go cleaning any of the floors; that will be Shego’s job.” Moving away from Kim, Doctor Drakken dismissed her from his mind with a careless wave of his hand. “You may go – now, Shego,” he drew in close to the villainess. “I think it’s time we put that sharp tongue of yours to better use. The floors could all use a good cleaning – remember now, Shego – top to bottom.”

Before Drakken could actually give the order, however, a sharp crackle of electricity erupted from behind him, causing him to turn in order to face the disruption. “What are you doing, Possible? I thought I told you to…” His voice trailed off in his sudden confusion as he tried to understand exactly what he was seeing.

Kim had started to leave the room as soon as Drakken had dismissed her, but she now stood frozen at the threshold, just in front of the hole Shego had blasted out of the door. She had one hand on the edge of the cooled opening, but her arm was trembling visibly – like it was torn between wanting to pull herself through the hole or push off the door and back into the room.

Drakken pretended to know what to do, of course, as was the norm for the delusional man. “Unit 2,” he addressed Kim, “revert to user interface mode.”

Her motions instantly robotic once more, Kim’s arm relaxed and her spine stiffened as she walked quickly to stand in front of Drakken. “Acknowledged – awaiting user input.”

Whoa! Shego was shocked to hear the tone that emerged from between her partner’s lips. This wasn’t the high-pitched, excited babbling voice that Shego had come to associate with mind control chips. No, Kim’s voice was now even more lacking emotion, more robotic and totally devoid of any of the unconscious inflections of voice that differentiated one person from another, the natural rise and fall of tone, the infinite variations of pronunciation that made every voice unique. It was as if Kim was speaking through a voice synthesizer now or a computer program, which – considering what Drakken had just said - was entirely possible.

“Unit 2: run full diagnostic on host mind and report current status.” Drakken’s voice held a slight tremor of fear as he wrung his hands uneasily, giving Shego everything she needed to know that all was not well in Drakken-land – that his Neural Compliance chip might not be so flawless.

Go, Kimmie, Shego encouraged, finally catching on. Fight it!

But still the robotic tone streamed from Kim’s mouth. “Accessing,” her head tilted to one side as if she was listening for something. “Emotional stress level has increased to 70 percent of manageable parameters.”

Drakken relaxed visibly, breathing a quiet sigh of relief. “Well, wasn’t that rather interesting?”

There was another snap-crackle of electrical discharge, and Shego could swear she saw a spark of static lightning bounce from somewhere on Kim’s forehead to the chip that was firmly affixed there, creating the smallest burn to the circuits. And the pale villainess thought she could almost smell the slightest taint of fear and rage in the air, but her powers were suppressed.

Weren’t they?

“Emotional strain increased to 80 percent of maximum controllable level.”

“What – no!” Dr Drakken panicked instantly. “Unit 2: activate emergency restraint protocol.”

Kim jumped again as yet another spark leapt across the chip on her face, creating a second patch of carbon scoring. “Command invalid. Core programming code corrupted. Unknown psychic anomaly detected – status, uncontrollable.” She twitched once more and three sparks sprang from her head to the chip at once, combining together just before they struck – almost as if it was some kind of coordinated attack. “Emotional strain exceeding tolerable limits – Restraint protocols insufficient – emergency restraint inoperable. Prime directive corruption detected – failure imminent.”

The sparks began to come faster and brighter, gaining intensity the longer the disruption went on. Shego watched with growing worry as burns began to appear on Kim’s face just as easily as on the chip. Shego couldn’t tell if Kim was actually consciously trying to destroy the chip or if she was just struggling wildly, but one thing she could tell was that her partner was either going to be freed in the end or she was going to die from the strain all the electrical feedback was no doubt causing to her system. Despite Kim’s confidence that she could absorb lightning, this much electricity just had to be wreaking havoc with her body.

Drakken started to back away slowly, his eyes wide with a primal terror that gave Shego great pleasure to see. Oh, you’re in for it now, Dr Dee. “Now, Kim – I know we’ve had our differences…I know you’re probably very angry right now, but we can be civilized about this, can’t we? Can’t we let bygones be bygones – just this once? We can do that, can’t we?” His back smacked soundly into the corner of the room farthest from the room’s only door. Shego would have rolled her eyes at the clueless man’s poor direction of retreat. You are such a fruitcake…

“No,” Kim ground out between clenched teeth – the real Kim. “We,” she flinched as the chip on her forehead exploded with dozens of tiny arcs of static lightning, “can’t!”

Then, with a final caress of electricity on silicon circuitry, there was a small explosive flash, followed closely by an ear-splitting shriek of pain from Kim. The tiniest wisp of smoke puffed out of the chip and rose away into the air as Kim’s cries died, and then the scorched and blackened microchip fell away from her face. It tumbled to land on the cold grey floor, where it was instantly crushed by the heel of a black hiking boot – size seven.

“God Dammit!” Kim’s right hand flew to her forehead while her left remained slack at her side. Her next words were mumbled more or less to herself, but Shego was close enough to overhear. “I am so done with getting shot full of electricity today. Someone is about to get the beating of his lifetime…”

As Kim let her hand fall away from her face, Shego was relieved to see that the many small burns all over her partner’s forehead had already disappeared, healed over at the expense of a miniscule portion of her body’s water. Kim’s face was completely without injury, but the rising fury and cold, calculating murder in the younger woman’s eyes promised wrath and destruction for a certain blue-faced scientist.

Not that he was completely aware of that little detail.

“Now, Kim…” Drakken held both hands in front of his chest to ward off his impending doom. Yeah, as if your two tiny hands could stop Kimmie… “Now, Kim – um…surely we’ve hardly ever seen eye-to-eye, but I can concede that you really are ‘all that’. I’ve never known anyone to be able to gain their own freedom from my Neural Compliance chip.”

“Well, that’s a real surprise,” Kim growled. “You’ve only ever used the things on me and Shego.” Shego thought Kim was going to rain hard, cold retribution on the cowering little man, but the redhead’s eyes calmed, her body relaxing considerable. Apparently, Kim Possible was in a more talkative mood than Shego would have been.

“So,” Drakken relaxed a hair, having realized dimly that his life wasn’t entirely in danger. Yet. “Would you care to explain how you managed to break my chip’s control?”

Kim grinned sinisterly in a way that astounded Shego. Wow. Who knew she had it in her? “I don’t see why not,” she began pleasantly enough. “It’s not like I’ll be leaving you a means to tell anyone else about this.” She ignored Drakken’s apprehensive frown at her last remark. “I’ve got to tell you, Drew,” she moved a few steps to the left so she was firmly between the cornered scientist and the door. “Your chips don’t work so well against a telepath. I don’t know why I couldn’t free myself last time, and frankly, I don’t give a damn. Maybe it’s the six years of growing my powers have gone through since the last chip,” she glanced behind her. “Or, maybe it was the massive dose of emotion and thoughts you sparked in me just now – but regardless, I’m back, and you’re going to regret every word you’ve said since we came into this room.”

Drakken leaned forward, relaxing even further as his scientist’s curiosity took over, displacing his rather non-existent self-preservation instinct. “You’re a telepath?”

Kim didn’t even have the concern to act dismayed that Drakken now knew one of her many well-kept secrets. Shego was impressed by her partner’s confidence; Wow, she must really have something permanent planned for him. “I am,” Kim replied, maintaining her deathly impersonal cool, “and I have been for far longer than I’ve known you, so don’t you get any ideas that you had something to do with it.”

Her tone suddenly hardened to icy diamond consistency. “And take my advice to heart, Drew – try and think twice next time before you go trying to manipulate people into doing your bidding. Take this disaster for example,” Kim waved a hand between herself and Shego. “All you’ve done is make Shego angry. I’m free, I’ll find a way to get her free, and you are going to learn something new about making allies.” She took a menacing step forward. “And here’s another bit of free advice – no one degrades Shego like you were about to; not if either of us have anything to say about it.”

Seeing his coming doom, Drakken tried to make a break for it, but a pair of well-aimed icicles sent him sailing back into his corner, pinning him to the steel reinforced wall by the collar and shoulder of his dark blue outfit.

“Ah, ah, ah, Drew.” Kim’s voice was dangerously cold as she fiddled with a third icicle that had suddenly appeared in her hand. “You know it’s rude to run out when you’re entertaining guests.” She tapped the sharp tip of her icicle against her own cheek thoughtfully, mockingly. “And I thought that mother of yours would have taught you some form of manners.”

Drakken craned his neck to get a look at what had pinned him to the wall and gaped at her once he’d gotten a good look at it. “But – ice? You said you were a telepath.”

Kim smirked devilishly. “Oh, if you think I’m impressive as a telepath, you haven’t seen anything yet – I promise you that, Drew.” Her body rippled unnaturally and lost colour as she shifted into her base elemental form – water. “It’s time for another lesson in Employee relations, Drakken. It’s a pity you won’t be able to put any of this new knowledge to good use.”

Drakken – insane little man that he was – forgot completely about his precarious position in the situation as his twisted, juvenile mind homed in on the least helpful scrap of knowledge from Kim’s last words. “Aha!” A sly, triumphant gleam entered into his eyes and he struck a dramatic pose, looking for all the world like a caricature of a super-villain. “Now I know your secret, Kim Possible! Your concern for my treacherous former sidekick has clearly clouded your judgement if you’d allow something like that to slip. I’ll move to the Sahara, and you’ll be powerless to stop me!”

Kim simply rolled her eyes, unimpressed. “Hey, Drakken – get a clue. First, there’s no way in this plane of existence that you’re leaving this room so you can cancel your vacation to Africa. And second, water evaporates, genius. Heat’s not going to do anything more than slow me down.”

Kim started walking toward Drakken, closing in like a circling, redheaded bird-of-prey, “And, about the whole mind control thing? I’m going to make whatever Shego did to you four years ago into a slap on the wrist. Whatever pride and dignity she left for you back then will be gone by the time I’m through with you.”

Drakken struggled against the icy spikes that held him captive like an insect in a display case. “No! Ah…Shego – help me!”

Even as Shego felt her feet begin to move to comply, she heard a voice in her head that sounded curiously like Kim Possible. ‘No. Stop.’ The only difference was thee was a strange power to Kim’s words, a deep, full strength that Shego had never heard from her partner before now.

More surprising than that, however, was Shego’s sudden realization that she had actually stopped walking as commanded. She was now frozen stock-still more than two metres from Kim and Drakken.

Drakken’s jaw dropped in horror as he watched his only hope halted in mid-step. “No – Shego, help me please!”

“Aw, what’s the matter, Drew?” Kim’s voice held a note of darkest humour, a confidence that Shego recognized as her own. Oh, she mused; looks like my little Princess is growing up. “Did you drop the strings to your puppet? I wouldn’t worry so much about it. Shego,” she raised her voice without turning to face the taller woman, “leave. I doubt you really want to be here for this.”

Dr Drakken scoffed, as if he still had some form of control over the situation. “Do you really think you can wrest control away from my chip?” He chortled madly, “even as a telepath, you can do nothing more than stop it; even you can’t undermine the compliance chip’s authority.”

“Oh?” Kim’s raised eyebrow seemed to disagree, “then how do you explain this?” Under her breath, almost too softly to hear, Shego heard the heroine add her last words in a shaky, breathy voice. “I’m sorry, Shego.”

A second later, Shego felt Kim’s command take hold, easily bypassing the physical control provided by the microchip with the more…personal…psychic control she was capable of.

‘Go. Your room. Now.’

Unable to fight again, Shego felt her body begin to move for the door. Oddly enough, though, while Drakken’s chip had allowed zero leeway in her compliance, Kim’s command had actually restored some small modicum of control back to Shego. So, even thought Shego couldn’t stop herself from leaving the room, Shego’s body at least obeyed her when she told it to turn around to walk backwards from the room; she wanted to see the look on Drakken’s face as he was left alone to Kim’s hopefully not-so-tender mercies. Kim’s telepathic control seemed to allow it.

And it was definitely a sight to savour – almost enough for Shego to forgive Kim right on the spot for manipulating her. It was something Shego had never really thought her partner would be capable of doing. Oh, it wasn’t really that big a violation in the grand scheme of things, mostly because it was Kim, and Shego could easily forgive her fiery-haired heroine for the intrusion. But not before they sat themselves down to have a nice, long chat about boundaries and uncontrollable circumstances. Come to think of it, Shego thought – we still haven’t even had that talk about speaking telepathically.

On the other hand, Drakken’s reaction was far too amusing for Shego to bring herself to care about Kim’s misconduct – for the moment at least.

He panicked instantly of course.

“Shego!” He reached out desperately from his corner for his departing sidekick – former sidekick. “I know we’ve had our misunderstandings.” Misunderstandings? Shego laughed silently at that and felt her lips curl into as cruel a smile as she’d ever smiled. Amazing. How about understandings? I know where you stand, and no amount of pleading will change how I feel about that. Just be glad that Kim gets to have you and it’s not me that’s threatening you. “But, please –,” the idiot was still trying, “you have to fight Kim Possible’s control.”

Excuse me?

“Don’t leave me to her!” Drakken’s voice caught, consumed with bone-chilling terror. “When I’m gone, who will protect you from her? What twisted schemes will Possible have for you – how will she abuse her power over you – how will she treat you now that you’re under her control?”

Far better than you ever did, Dr Dee. Shego was surprised to feel her own hand rising when she told it to, giving Drakken the exact response she asked of it – a distinctly Shego-like response:

A single, upraised middle finger.

Shego would have grinned widely. Well, three cheers for Kimmie.

And then she was through the hole she'd blown out of Drakken’s door with her own hands, leaving Shego in the corridor with her last view of Drakken’s horrified expression seared into her memory for many nights to come.

---

Not that this isn’t interesting, Shego paced past the closed door once more, but this is getting really frustrating.

It seemed that Kim’s form of mind control was a lot more open-ended than Shego had first realized.

As soon as the green-and-black streaked door to her own suite of rooms had closed behind her, Shego had felt control of her body return to her.

For the first few seconds, all Shego could think to do was stare at her hands, willing them to turn over and move every which way – clench fist…and relax… Shego’s wonder rose as her gloved appendage obeyed her commands. Fingers…wiggle…wow – I’m back.

Then, once that got old, Shego had turned to face her door, aiming to leave her room and backtrack to find her Kimmie and thank her for shutting down Drakken’s chip.

Of course, she hadn’t been counting on one thing, which was made abundantly clear only seconds later. What she found out was that freedom from the compliance chip required Kim to maintain her control.

Shego learned this when her hand reached out for the door’s controls but wouldn’t actually move the last half-centimetre to touch any of the buttons. Come on, she pleaded with her hands, the little yellow button. Press it! Shego could see and feel her arm tensing beneath her bodysuit, long, lean muscles straining and trembling – but no matter how hard she pushed, she couldn’t do it. Her own body was constantly betraying her by pushing back against her with the same force, cancelling her every attempt.

Growling under her breath in annoyance – and still half-amazed that she was able to do even that much –, Shego threw off her gloves and raised her hands to charge up a plasma bolt large enough to blow a good-sized hole in the door. A moment later, she was both astonished and horrified to realize that nothing was happening; the pale emerald haze that had enveloped her hands for seven years remained constant, showing Shego that no plasma bolt was forthcoming. Growing ever more frustrated by the second, Shego whirled around and blasted twin holes into the side of her television when the bolt she’d been unable to conjure suddenly discharged out of her hands spontaneously.

“God Dammit!”

Shego threw herself at the door in a fit of rage. If I can’t use bolts, it’ll just take me longer to get through.

But just as her outstretched hands came within the last hair of space from the door, Shego felt her leg come up of its own volition to kick off the green-and-black painted barrier, sending her spinning away to trip over the small black sofa she’d added the last time she was here.

Finally, with a great sigh of defeat, Shego resigned herself to the fact that she had free reign over her body as long as she stopped trying to leave her quarters.

And so, five minutes later found Shego pacing impatiently in front of the sealed door. She’d donned her gloves once more, and she caught herself staring at her totalled TV set a few times where it had landed in the corner. Aw – screw it.

Glaring back at the sealed door in disgust – piercing the offensive steel barrier with all the fury she could muster –, Shego just breathed a calm, quiet sigh of exhaustion and padded into her bedroom. She switched the radio on – just for something to do – and then carefully laid herself out on her bed, finally acknowledging the sore, tight feeling that came hand in hand with two days on zero sleep, two fights with the great Kim Possible, a museum heist, and a good, short tumble with a Monkey Kung Fu master.

Hmm, Shego stretched slowly, searching cautiously for any serious injuries that would need tending to. This would be great if it weren’t for this whole mind control thing. On the other hand, I’m definitely liking Kimmie’s telepathy more than Drakken’s damn chip.

As she lay contemplating it, Shego found her thoughts centering on her Princess, and she was astonished to realize that Kim wouldn’t need to ask forgiveness from her. She already had it. Kim’s last words to her had been an apology – she had known that what she was doing was no small slap to Shego’s face, undermining her will like she had. She knew what she’d done was wrong and she had remorse and guilt to prove it, but she’d done it all the same.

And, if truth be told, Shego was actually grateful Kim had done it – forced her to leave the room like she did.

Four years ago when Shego had finally realized that Drakken was playing her, as she’d stood over his broken and unconscious body, she’d been too far gone in her rage and pained betrayal to see any farther than the next handful of seconds. But now, in hindsight, Shego couldn’t bring herself to see her last Kim-vision as an intrusion on her moment of triumph so much as a single instant during which Kim had unwittingly managed to save her from herself. Shego saw now that taking Drakken’s life, no matter how satisfying or gratifying in the moment, would have destroyed her just as much as him – certainly as thoroughly and completely if not as quickly.

Shego had made a promise to herself over her mother’s grave a very long time ago – one that she had kept for over ten years and one that she had made certain no one knew existed. It was a very personal thing to her, and she’d be damned if she allowed anyone to get wind of her sore spot.

Anyone but Kimmie, of course.

Shego’s mother had been killed not very long after the comet had hit – caught in the crossfire between a group of Go City’s finest – police officers – and a gang of three bank robbers. Shego had never found out whose bullet it was that had shattered her beautiful, innocent mother’s skull, nor had she really ever sought that knowledge – neither choice would have made her feel any better. The rumour was that the late Mrs Jenkins had been running from the bank – away from the robbers – and the fatal shot had passed from just above her eyebrow to the base of her skull at high velocity – from front to back –, dropping her to the street. This suggested a sniper, but whether that was a fourth robber or some dumb-ass cop who mistook a bank manager for a bank robber wasn’t something that Shego concerned herself with because that knowledge wasn’t going to bring her back. Sure, she would have liked to have some form of retribution for this all, but the bottom line was that her mother was dead. Besides, how would more bloodshed bring meaning to a meaningless death, a statistic – an “accidental shooting”?

No, for the death of Shego’s mom to have some kind of meaning, for it to mean anything, it had to produce something that would last for long years afterward. Anything less would be to disrespect her mother’s memory – to spit in the face of the most influential person in her life. In any case, Natalie Jenkins had been a loud supporter of Peace, and perpetuating the cycle of violence by capital punishment would be completely against everything Natalie had stood for.

Shego’s brothers had taken their own lesson from their mother’s death and – led by Henry, also known as Hego –, they had become heroes in order to prevent something like this from happening again to someone else’s loved ones. Shego had gone along with them, but mostly to hide the lesson she herself had learned; it was far too out of character for her to feel comfortable sharing.

See, Shego had come to understand one thing her brothers didn’t – could never understand, and that was that you couldn’t control the world or stop death from happening – the only thing one person could control was their own actions and hope that other people would see and learn as they have learned.

So, late at night on the day of Natalie Jenkins’ funeral, Shego had stolen away to the cemetery and sworn an oath to her mother, somewhat aware in the back of her mind that she could have done this in the comfort of her own home and her mother’s spirit would have heard. She didn’t need to be standing knee-deep in the freezing snow, but there was something symbolic about doing it this way – just like her long black hair had become something of a symbol for her. It was a reminder of that night in the cemetery, a reminder of her mother’s own constant, pretty hairstyle as much as of Natalie herself – her views, her ideals, her beliefs.

Shego had made no promises of a righteous life – she’d made no vow of peace for her mother. No, what she’d promised had been simple – she would never kill. Shego had promised to herself and her mother that she would never take life as long as she drew breath.

Now to be fair, this wasn’t to say that Shego and Natalie had been the best of friends, or that Shego had always shared or even understood her mother’s stance on war and peace, life and death, but they had certainly respected each other for their unwavering commitment to their convictions. And, now that her mother had been taken from her so suddenly – killed instantly by some asshole with a rifle – Shego found herself grasping for some piece of her mother to hold onto, some legacy to carry on. Pacifism, while odd for her chosen way of life and her comet-given affinity for martial arts and weapons – not to mention her Plasma-curse – seemed the perfect way for Natalie Jenkins to live on through her daughter.

So, that night in the cemetery had become quite a turning point in her life. While Natalie’s death had pushed Shego to seriously consider becoming an Atheist – not that she had been particularly religious and faithful before the tragedy –, the promise she’d made to her mother had made her into something a little more than Agnostic. She wasn’t completely sure if she believed in God or not, but if He was there, he must not have liked her or her family very much.

That was also the night she’d started taking her life seriously and living. She made no apologies for her life – not for anyone she offended, and not for any action she’d done, because she had two lives to live for, a legacy to carry.

So, how to reconcile this with her life of villainy?

Shego never tried. Like she’d told Kaia once, she had to live her life the way she wanted, not to please the world.

A villain she may be, but she would never fall far enough to become a thug. Thugs weren’t worthy of her respect – people who treated death as a mere means to an end weren’t worth her time, and she would sooner throw herself from a high cliff than sink so far that she was counted among their number. People who dealt with death so much that it became a commodity to trade or an occupational hazard – like gangland criminals or cops – were lower than dirt in her eyes. This was one of many reasons she had been so indifferent to the official investigation into her mother’s death – the one that was supposed to tell whose side the bullet had come from. Punishment inflicted on the guilty party wouldn’t make Shego or her family feel any better – Natalie Jenkins was still dead. Besides, how could you justify trading one life for another like exchanging currencies or goods and services? The truth was, you couldn’t – one life isn’t equal to another. It never is.

That’s what made war such a strange thing to Shego. People argued all the time about who won or lost this war or that campaign, but Shego could never understand it. The way her mother had taught her, everybody lost when it came to war…

---

(((Flashback)))

“I mean, think about it, Shego.” Natalie set her mug of cocoa down on the old wooden dining room table, rolling her eyes as she used the only name her daughter would answer to. Well, that wasn’t completely true – her eldest child would actually answer to any pet name or embarrassing mom-given label, but everything except her birth name. And after all the trouble her parents had gone through to agree on one…

“Think about what?” Shego ran a hand through her short black hair, frustration clearly carrying through her voice. “Are you going to try and convert me to Pacifism again? Dad says it’s for cowards and people too ignorant to understand how the world works.” She twirled a thin lock of hair between her fingers.

Natalie just smiled gently; it was no secret that she wasn’t taken seriously by her own husband; he’d certainly tried hard enough to convince her of the ignorance of Pacifism. “Tell me,” her green eyes twinkled with mischief, “do you think I’m ignorant, Speedy?”

Speedy was the nickname Shego had earned from Natalie when she’d mastered Kendo in only two weeks. Two long weeks, but two weeks nonetheless. It had been a year since the comet and Shego already knew fourteen styles of fighting – nine unarmed and five weapons.

Still, for all her fighting prowess, Shego still worded her reply very carefully. “No,” she said slowly, “You know a lot of stuff about how the world works and a lot about the world and stuff.” She frowned thoughtfully as she realized where this conversation was going.

Natalie’s smile was still so kind, but it was obvious this topic was a sore point for her. Why did she always have to defend her views – why could no one accept her the way she was? “And would you consider me a cowardly person?”

Shego was much quicker to respond to this one. “No, you can be pretty scary sometimes.”

“Oh, so the opposite of coward is scary?”

“I meant that you’re not afraid to face uncomfortable topics. I mean, I’ve seen you defend being a Pacifist for years; if you were a coward, you’d have given up to make everyone happy.” Shego stared down at the table, still playing with that lock of hair.

Natalie nodded, still smiling – a little more genuinely. “That’s right, now what do you conclude from that?”

Shego really thought about that one. “You must have a really good reason to believe in what you believe if you can stand up to us all like that.”

“That’s very true, Pup.”

There was another funny name, taken from a strange phase Shego had gone through when she was four. She’d apparently wished she was born a dog, a cute little puppy – not to be owned, but to be carefree and innocent. According to Mom, Shego had acted the part quite adorably, but she’d never believed a word of Natalie’s stories – not even when shown the pictures of her on all fours in the mud, playing at muddy puppy.

“So, think about it,” Natalie looked at her thirteen year old daughter seriously. “Does anyone really win when the World plays War?”

“We won World War Two,” eager to show off her newly acquired knowledge of history, Shego was quick to answer.

“No, we didn’t.” Natalie glanced into the other room where David and the boys were currently engrossed in a football game. Thank God she’d managed to save her daughter from her husband’s favourite sport. Her little Speedy had taken a much keener interest in her mother’s sports: Hockey, Soccer, and Lacrosse – field hockey’s mutant, violent cousin. “America and the Allies stopped the Nazis from continuing the cycle of violence.”

“But Mr Turner says we won, and he’s the history teacher.” Now Shego was confused – why would Mr Turner lie to them all? “We won, didn’t we?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” Natalie’s voice was quiet but firm. This was something she believed in with everything she was and she was quick to defend it. “Think about it, Shego – you can’t treat war like a game of chess, where one side wins and the other loses. I mean, what was so different about the two sides – Nazi Germany and the Allies? Did either side lose all the people? Did either side win something that was really worth the cost?” Natalie came around the table to stand beside her daughter’s chair, leaning back on the table. “A lot of people died on both sides, Shego – some were good, some were bad, but don’t let anyone tell you that everyone of one type was from one side. No country, religion, or race has all the good people or all the bad people.

“So what do we do?” Shego had never heard Mom deliver her Pacifism speech quite like this before. “What do we do when bad people do bad things?”

Natalie sighed sadly and bent down to bring herself level with her daughter’s worried face, “Now you see – there’s the problem. Good people, by their very nature, can’t stand by and let bad people continue the cycle of violence. We have a responsibility to each other and to everyone around us, so sometimes death is the cost of stopping bad people, but I don’t want you to ever think that means bad people deserve to die.”

Shego stared down at her lap. “I don’t understand, Mom.”

“I know,” Natalie wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her close, kissing her lightly on the top of her head, her waist-length obsidian hair falling around both of them like a protective, safe curtain, hiding them from a cruel world that didn’t make sense. “I know, Speedy. You’ll understand one day – I know it.”

Shego pulled away from the embrace, growing uncomfortable with the emotional turn this discussion was taking. “I can’t say I’ll ever share your beliefs Mom, but I can respect you for knowing what you believe.”

Natalie sighed again, straightening slowly. “Sara…”

Uh, Oh.

Shego’s Mom usually played along and called her daughter by her chosen name, but if Natalie Jenkins used her name – in that serious, even tone – something bad was about to happen. Or, she wanted to make something absolutely clear.

“Mom?”

Natalie shook her head slowly. “It’s never about getting you to believe what I do, or seeing how many people I can convert to Pacifism.” She paused, considering her next words very carefully. “Your life is your own, Sara, and I’ll be proud of you no matter what you believe or what you become, but there is one thing I want you to learn from me. If there is one thing I want you to take from me and my cowardly, ignorant ways,” they shared a smile at that, “Life is a precious thing, no matter whose it is and it should never be treated as anything less. If you have to take life to save others, so be it.” Natalie’s tone suddenly grew very cold and “scary”.

“But don’t you ever forget how precious and beautiful life is.”

“And don’t you dare believe that anyone doesn’t deserve to live. Everyone gets a life, and it’s not up to you to decide when their time is up.”

(((End Flashback)))

---

It was kind of ironic that it took Natalie’s death for Shego to finally learn what her mother had tried time and again to teach her.

Too bad it was also the kind of irony that wasn’t the least bit comforting or amusing.

So, it was a great source of pride to Shego that she’d managed to keep her promise – especially given the nature of her…unique situation. Because, good friends or not, Natalie Jenkins had been someone important to Shego – probably the most important figure in her lifetime.

In fact, that whole first month after her accident had found Shego barricading herself inside Drakken’s various lairs and leading his…illegal shopping sprees from a distance – from the sidelines, terrified that she would be unable to keep herself from hurting someone seriously – perhaps even killing them.

Oh, it was so easy to misunderstand. Shego really had no love at all for the everyday average person, but that didn’t mean she took pleasure in pointless bloodshed. Honestly, what was the point in killing unthreatening people when she was a thief? There were many times – times that Kim and company didn’t know about – when Shego had been given the choice: kill or leave without what she came for. And every time, whether it was a lucky security guard or an eccentric genius with a penchant for sawed-off shotguns – someone she could have easily torn apart or not – Shego had chosen the latter without hesitation or regret.

If Drakken wanted some techno-hubcap from some other mad scientist, why was it necessary to kill the original owner of the glorified gadget? The truth was it wasn’t necessary. There was no challenge in stealing from a dead man, no excitement, no enjoyment, no thrill – and let’s face it, why else had Shego joined the villain game? It sure wasn’t for the evil because evil people were the kind of people who treated life like it was something to barter.

Besides, it was so much more satisfying to know that she was but one in a very small handful of villains without a single kill to her name. Oh, she probably had plenty of assaults and property damage charges to her name, but nobody had been seriously hurt so far, right?

Oh wait – there was one guy.

Harold Grimer.

A bank robber. And the idiot who’d decided to pull a gun on his hostages – kids on a school trip – when Team Go had broken down the doors. His first shot had missed completely but Shego hadn’t given him a chance to get a second before she was on him with everything she had, which by then had consisted of over thirty forms of unarmed martial arts. Her reaction was understandable, considering Shego’s history with bank robberies and her hair-trigger rage. Her promise to Mom had almost been broken that day, but fortunately for Shego, the rest of Team Go was there to pull an out-of-control Shego off a shrieking and helpless bank robber. The end result – Grimer was paralyzed from the waist down and had lost a good deal of coordination in his right arm. Shego had taken a lot of flak for that, but she’d taken it without complaint or objection.

That was what Drakken had been talking about earlier, but Shego hadn’t needed to be reminded of that near-catastrophic loss of control. She lived with it everyday, but it was always buried in the back of her mind, contributing to her day-to-day life in only the most subconscious of ways. She hadn’t really thought about that incident in a while, but something like that never really goes away, does it?

But seriously, Shego stretched her arms above her head lazily, her gloved fingertips lightly brushing the cool, smooth, black marble headboard she’d carved and bolted to the end of her bed. It’s not like I’m completely amoral because I’m a thief; I’ve got my own values and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna just throw them all away for someone as small and pitiful as Drakken.

In fact, the only reason Shego took so much pleasure in the memory of unleashing pure Hell and rage on Drakken was because he had survived and was largely unharmed. Yes, the limp was obvious – and humorous in some small way – and it would stay with him for the rest of his life, but it would serve the man quite nicely as a reminder not to cross someone you wanted as an ally, a memorial of how dangerous it was to play Shego for a fool. Playing with fire was bad, but Shego burned brighter and hotter than any fire.

And now that he’s pissed off Kimmie, he’s about to learn just how bad it is to play with her fire.

Relaxing into the soft black-and-green coverings of her bed, Shego closed her eyes and let sleep finally take her to a peaceful, dreamless place.

---

The next thing Shego was aware of was a soft, smooth hand resting on her cheek, waking her from her sleep.

She looked around to see Kim laid out on the bed beside her, fully clothed and a haunted sorrowful look on her face as she stared into Shego’s now-open eyes.

Kim broke the silence that stretched between them; Shego couldn’t do it of course because she wasn’t able to speak.

“It’s strange,” she started quietly, moving her hand away from the older woman’s face. “I mean – ever since I broke free from Drakken’s chip – and that’s something I’m only now beginning to understand – I’ve been able to feel you, but I still can’t feel you. It’s like…I don’t know,” Kim looked away for a moment. “I can sense your mind, I know it’s there, but I can’t sense any deeper than that. I can’t talk to you, I can’t read anything from your thoughts, your memories…” she gave a choked-off, humourless laugh – something between a mirthless chuckle and a sob, “guess you’re relieved to hear that much at least; I’ll bet you’ve probably had enough mind games for today.”

Damn straight, Shego grumbled. Although…having Kim in her head wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. She’d proven herself to be by and large more trustworthy and compassionate than anyone else Shego had ever met – certainly more so than Drakken.

And I really would appreciate having someone to talk to.

“And I’m sorry,” Kim went on even more quietly, meeting Shego’s unmoving gaze to make her apology felt. “I’m sorry for not freeing you as soon as I’d broken Drakken’s control.” She took a moment and looked away as she composed herself. “I know this won’t be nearly enough to make you feel any better, but I was just so drained. Freeing myself almost burned out my powers, but controlling you was simple – easy.” Then, before Shego had a chance to even think to be insulted by that, Kim continued – as if she knew her partner’s reaction. “That’s not to say that your mind is weak in any way, shape, or form – it’s just that Drakken’s chip made it easier for me to take control – like stealing an unlocked car as opposed to a locked one. His chip worked as a channelling point for my telepathy.”

Kim looked at Shego, her eyes searching her partner’s expressionless face. “And then I went and almost burned myself out again on Drakken’s mind.” She swallowed nervously, her eyes getting a faraway look. It seemed…regretful – and it scared Shego. She knew that look; she herself had worn it after she was told about the final state of Harold Grimer after forty hours in surgery. “I’ll tell you this much, though, revenge isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Kim continued to avoid Shego’s lifeless, unsympathetic gaze.

“I was just so mad at him,” Kim rolled over to stare at the ceiling. “I wanted him to hurt just as badly as I did, but everything I did was just making me hurt even worse.” Kim swallowed back a sob and Shego found herself unable to help. Not only was she still held captive by Drakken’s chip, but even if she was free to move on her own, it was Kim’s own actions that had done this; Shego’s princess had done this to herself and no amount of comforting words or embraces would fix that. There was nothing Shego could do to lessen the pain of that one simple fact.

“No matter what I did,” Kim was still talking in a quiet, broken voice. “No matter what I did to him, I just felt worse and worse – I knew he could never feel as bad as I did, so I finally just gave up and finished it.” She breathed a sigh – relief or something darker, Shego couldn’t tell –, her shoulders shaking with every intake of breath, trembling with her pent-up sobs of frustration, rage, and pain. “And – God – here’s the worst thing; I don’t feel bad about what I did to him. I’d do it again if I had the chance. What upsets me so much is that I don’t feel bad about it. And there’s no way to make this pain go away – not the way I was trying.” Kim shuddered again and buried her head in Shego’s shoulder, her sour mood erupting from her body as silent, trembling sobs that tore at Shego’s heart.

Not that her compliance chip would allow her to do anything about it.

“Oh, God – I’m so sorry, Shego. I should have known he wasn’t on the level. I should have seen his real plan, but my powers went crazy and I couldn’t see the most obvious thing.” She sniffed haltingly, her sobs gradually easing. “I could have stopped you, you know.” Shego felt a hand brush down to clasp her own. “I could have dragged you from that room, but I know how much you wanted that cure, and I had to let you for it and hope it could work.”

Slowly, Kim raised herself up to stare into Shego’s eyes. “Besides, I bet you wouldn’t have exactly thanked me for pulling you out if I had done that.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, sighing wearily. “I’m sorry, Shego,” she whispered, changing the subject. “I’m just so tired right now…” Her bright green eyes closed and Kim rolled over onto her back to stare up at the ceiling again. “I promise, I’ll tear this Lair down to its foundations to find some way to remove that chip or I’ll fry it off myself, but not tonight…”

Kim’s voice trailed off brokenly and Shego felt a pair of arms sliding around her body from Kim’s side of the bed, holding her around her abdomen. “For tonight, Shego – just…I know you’ll hate me for this, but please – hold me?”

Shego felt herself turning a little to one side and her arms reached out to wrap around Kim’s shoulders, keeping a loose but secure hold on her partner. After a few moments, the pale-skinned thief found herself torn between her anger at being forced to do something she hadn’t told herself to do and her unfamiliar desire – her need – to provide the exact comfort Kim had her giving. Kimmie needs me now – I can yell at her later.

Gradually, Shego began to realize that she had at least partial control over her body as she commanded her hands to move a little. Leather-and-alloy enshrouded digits carefully trailed reassuringly, comfortingly – protectively – up and down Kim’s arms, drawing out quiet sobs from the woman in her arms. No, she ordered from her mind. No more tears, Kim. Her hands moved more firmly, slower, her arms tightening around partner’s shaking body. Just relax, Kim…it’s going to be alright – we’ll worry about it all tomorrow.

Shego held Kim close, knowing deep down that it was all she’d be allowed to do with Kim still at the controls of Drakken’s compliance chip. Well, there was also the fact that it was all Shego even wanted to do – for tonight.

“Goodnight, Shego.” Kim whispered the words into Shego’s shoulder, burrowing her head into her partner’s warm, solid body. “We’ll free you tomorrow – I promise.”

Shego, on the other hand, was fuming inside. Kim Possible is in my bed, she raved from her far-flung corner of her mind – in my freaking bed, and I can do nothing. Our first night together – like, together , together – and all I can do is hold her? I can’t do anything else to reassure her? I’d settle for two words, but it won’t happen will it? Shego continued lightly stroking Kim’s arms despite the angry turn of her thoughts – Kim wasn’t the target of her anger.

Goddamn you, Drakken.

Goddamn you.

---

Author: Okay, much less of a cliff-hanger this time, and good thing too, cuz I’m gonna need a break for now…a good long break to work out the next few chapters and the beginnings of a sequel. Yes, we are nearing the end of this adventure. I’ll gladly accept advice, complaints, comments, criticism, and other synonyms of the like. I could use the ideas, but those that I have could quite possibly make the sequel even longer than “Four Years”, so as long as that’s what you want, you go ahead and toss me your ideas. We can talk.

Next Chapter: What did Kim do? We go back in time to investigate.