“So explain this to me again. Shego is a bug? A firefly no less? One of the most HARMLESS insects to exist?” The sidekick was ranting again. “So why does GJ want her gone so bad?”
I snorted, ignoring the string of questions. We’d tried explaining it to the boy before, but he didn’t seem to get it, so ignoring him was the easier course of action.
At least until he opened his mouth five minutes later.
We were at an impasse legally. Being a bug meant that Global Justice was allowed to squash me, poison me, or even go as far as making a giant shoe to step on me if they wanted. And we had nothing to go on to prove that I was human seeing as they were using genetics, MY genetics against me.
“You know…most bugs can just disappear and be kept like pets. I happen to remember a particular one that I wanted to keep that was beyond normal bug size, but someone made me let him go,” For the first time in my life since I started working for Dr. D I heard the sidekick say something that was meant to be hurtful.
Kim ignored the boy’s venomous tone though, “Ron…We’ve been over this. He was a cockroach, alright?”
One word: Ew.
“He was –my- cockroach! I should have been allowed to keep him!”
Wait a second.
“Stoppable stop whining for a moment…What was that exactly? A bug as a pet?” I was extremely excited; we may have found a way to keep Global Justice from squashing me!
The boy nodded slowly.
“Kim…you thinking what I’m thinking?” I smiled mischievously.
“That we can keep you safe as a pet?”
I couldn’t help myself, “Actually my thought involved a hot tub and massage oil, but yours works too.” Needless to say I need to work on my verbal self control. I just love making her squirm though, it’s just so cute!
Ahem.
“Nerd Boy…you catch all that?” I spoke to the blue device the boy had connected through, “We got anything to work with?”
The boy smirked as his fingers danced around his keyboard, “Just be happy you’re in the one city in the world with some of the more liberal pet laws.”
I looked at Kim who shrugged, and then back to the screen, “Run that by us again for those of us who don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well Middleton has more pet laws that allow people to own anything from giant mutant moths to cat girls.”
Please tell me he was joking about that last part. PLEASE.
My thought was interrupted by his voice coming out of the speaker on the device again, “Aha….it says here that you can own mutated or giant insects as long as you get a veterinarian to sign off on them as non-dangerous. That and they need tags, a collar or harness depending on the species and a leash when they are out of an enclosed yard.”
I could hardly contain my enthusiasm for the positive ruling, even if it meant a collar and leash in public it was a lot better than being squished! Besides, who says being kinky once in a while was a bad thing?
“Alright…so we just need a vet to sign off on me?”
The boy nodded, “I’ll check the list for one that fits the bill and owes Kim a favor. I’ll have a name within an hour.”
The connection shut off and I stared at the device. How long was this list of people who owed Kim favors anyways?
“Well Shego…we found a way to keep you safe…” The teenager smiled sweetly.
God she is cute.
I need to get some serious help.
“Wait…Shego’s your new pet bug? KP that is so not fair!” The sidekick was upset.
“I never said she was my pet! Besides, you have Rufus to care for. And Shego’s a female, so only makes sense that I take care of her until we can get this whole problem taken care of.”
“Fine….but I’m only submitting defeat because if I don’t you’ll start pouting…and that’s beyond cheating.” The sidekick was sulking. I had only been the heroine’s unofficial pet for maybe ten minutes, and already the boy was sulking.
Great…now they have issues…why couldn’t they have issues some other time? Issues are annoying little things I don’t like being near.
“Ron….I owe you one Super Grande-sized Naco meal, alright?”
Kim was bribing him…way to go Kimmie! Woo-hoo!
“Oh alright…it’s a deal…” He stopped sulking and looked at his watch, “Dang…I need to go home and help paint the living room…See ya later KP! And….err…you too Shego!”
We waved at the leaving male and waited for the techno geek to call back with the information we needed.
It was funny where small favors could get you. And it was even more amazing what large favors could get you. For a girl who never spent a dime to save the world she certainly had everything she needed.
Saving some old woman’s cat a couple years ago got us a ride to the vet’s office, not questions asked, especially since the office was closed on Sunday we expected something, but the woman was good, and silent.
The other favor had a veterinarian, ready and waiting at the door, “Kim! Glad to see you!”
“Just happy to hear that you could see us on such short notice, especially on a day you’re closed.” Kim, forever humble and kind. At least on the surface…I’ve always wondered if she really was that humble and kind on the inside.
“It’s the least I could do after you helped deal with that mutant termite problem. So I understand you need me to sign off of a mutant…firefly and deem it non-dangerous?”
Kim nodded, and gestured to me, “This is Shego, who is, according to the government, a firefly due to her genetics. I’d like to adopt her as a pet, so we need the standard memo saying she isn’t dangerous unless threatened.”
I wasn’t sure if I should feel insulted or not about it, but either way it meant that I was going to be safe from Global Justice.
The vet was staring at me, so I figured it’d be a good idea to say something. “Shall we get started?”
I quickly found myself sitting on a cold steel table, naked. I didn’t have a problem with being naked, but cold steel does not agree with a naked backside. But I was patient, and it paid off as the woman signed the paperwork deeming me safe to own.
She was even kind enough to give us a collar and leash that made it a lot easier to go strolling through town. I was ecstatic. I was safe to live in the comforts of some place warm.
Even if they did skimp on the heat. Now we just needed to break the news to Kim’s parents and the deal would be set.
But first…I needed to curl up to her in that warm bed with her warm body next to mine. We could worry about an appropriate collar that’d ensure no one could complain about me being able to escape, but the thin black one around my neck did for now. It was sleek and sexy, and I had to admit made a good accessory.
Maybe I could convince Kim that it could be my ‘dress collar’…maybe in the morning when it wasn’t so tempting to…sleep….
A/N: And so Shego has been adopted by Kim, and we’re facing meeting the parents.