One in a Billion


Reason One


Which way to go

by
StarvingLunatic


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TITLE: Which way to go

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own the original premise of this saga.

SUMMARY: AU. Sequel to The Gods Must Be Laughing. Shego and Kim are now trying to be a regular couple and do the things that they see their friends doing, like get married and have kids.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 5308

A/N: Before reading this, it would be a good idea to read Walking the Line, On a Short Leash, and The Gods Must Be Laughing, if you have not done that already. If you have, why are you reading this a/n then? Move on and read the story, silly.

Check my profile for additional information on this story, as I am pretty sure it’s not going to be updated as quickly as I usually do with stories. Also this takes place about a year after the end of The Gods Must Be Laughing.


Contrary to popular belief there are way more than two ways to do something. Yes, there’s a right way and a wrong way, but there’s also a Shego way, a Kim way, and most importantly, an Isabel way. It is possible for more than one to happen at once.


It had started out with such a simple phrase followed by a passionate response. It seemed like it would be something easy because of that. It had been so effortless to ask and the respond was the same. It seemed like all of the simplicity should have continued on, they thought. How wrong they were. Who knew that six words could cause so much trouble? The six words consisting of two sentences, a question and an answer. The question: will you marry me? The answer: hell, yeah! Complications then followed.

The complications came when a certain redhead had to tell her mother. Shego told Kim to keep it quiet for just a little while because she did not want a big deal made out of the thing, but Kim just did not listen. The younger woman got on the phone the next morning to tell her mother that Shego proposed to her. Little did Kim know, but her mother informed Shego’s mother as soon as Kim hung up.

It was not common knowledge that Ann and Isabel kept in contact with each other. They had taken to each other from the time that they had meant and built a friendship from that, even though Ann had some problems with Shego. Isabel had been working to soothe Ann’s nerves over her daughter since the neurosurgeon had decided to accept their daughters’ relationship. So, they spoke often and sometimes even met up for lunch if they were free and Isabel was in the area.

Shego glanced at the house phone as it began ringing. She was lounging in the living room of the house on the sofa. Kim was lying in her lap and the redhead looked over at the phone too. She then turned her attention to the older woman. Shego knew what her girl was trying to ask her.

“Look, I’m wise to this trick, okay?” the pale woman informed her slender fiancée.

“You’re wise to this trick?” Kim echoed in a puzzled tone. The house phone knew a trick? Wow, she thought that she was the only one that knew any tricks around the house.

“Yeah, I answer the phone and it ends up being my mother,” Shego answered. Even if it was not her mother, it would more than likely be someone that she did not desire to speak with, so it was best to not answer in her opinion.

“So?” Kim said while turning to face the green-skinned female.

Shego only snorted and she started caressing Kim’s head to hopefully get her to forget about the phone. The redhead practically purred as the attention began. The younger woman was still a sucker for having her head rubbed, even though her pet days were behind her. It still felt so good, she thought as she pretty much melted in Shego’s lap.

The phone finally stopped ringing and Shego breathed a sigh of relief. She then turned her attention to the beautiful young woman in her lap and reveled in having her right where she was. She leaned down and kissed Kim.

The redhead grinned to herself as she kissed her fiancée back. That had a nice ring to it, she thought. Shego was her fiancée. It seemed surreal, but the embrace that they were engaged in brought things back to the real world.

The couple was interrupted as Shego’s cell phone started going off. She pulled away for a moment to locate the irksome device. It was at the edge of the sofa, sitting innocently when it was anything but for having disturbed their activity. She grabbed the phone and checked the number.

“Damn it,” the pale woman cursed.

“Your mother?” Kim guessed.

“Yes. This is your fault, you know,” Shego accused her.

“How is it my fault? What did I do?”

“I know your mother called her and told her what happened. See, you might not think our mothers talk and everything, but I know my mother. I know what she’s like and I’m not answering this phone,” Shego declared and dropped the phone back on the sofa.

“If you don’t take her calls, won’t she just show up at the house?” Kim pointed out.

Shego thought on that for a moment. Her mother did not know where she lived now…right? Unless, of course, Kim told her mother, which she probably did, which would mean Isabel knew exactly where she lived because all she would have to do was ask Ann for that information. Damn it! She was so screwed.

The pale woman quickly reached for her phone and hoped that she caught the call before her mother gave up. She was too late. Her mother had already left a voice message. Oh, great, she thought sarcastically.

“What happened?” Kim asked because of the look of dread in Shego’s eyes.

“She left a message,” Shego answered.

“Well, listen to it. The worst it could do is serve as a warning for you to hide because she’s coming over,” the younger female pointed out.

Shego shrugged to that because her monster made a point; yes, she still thought of and called Kim her monster on occasion. She decided to listen to the voice mail that her mother left. She put it on her speaker phone just to amuse her girl because she knew that her mother was going to be cursing her out over the phone.

“Cassandra Isabella Gooding, how dare your ass get engaged and not have the decency to fucking call me? And then you’ve got the fucking nerve not to answer my calls! I’m getting on a plane right now to come and beat your narrow ass!” Isabel declared heatedly in the message. “Oh, and tell Kimmie I said hi,” she added in a normal, almost happy tone.

Kim laughed while Shego sighed because of the message. It tickled Kim that Isabel had used Shego’s full name in the message too. Yes, Shego’s middle name was Isabella, after her grandmother. Actually, it was her mother’s name too, but she went by “Isabel” to avoid confusion considering Isabella was her mother’s name and her grandmother’s name. It was a horrible thing in Isabel’s opinion.

“This woman hates me,” the pale woman said. She was convinced that her mother had it out for her in someway, even though she knew that Isabel did not hate her.

“She’s just worried. I told you to call her,” the redhead argued.

“Well, I told you not to call your mother. It seems neither of us listens, huh?” Shego countered, as if that made any sense.

“Well, who’s going to suffer the most for it?” Kim asked in a smart tone that the older woman took exception to.

“You for asking that question.”

“No!” Kim cried and tried her best to get off of the couch before her punishment came, but she just was not fast enough.

Shego grabbed Kim and proceeded to tickle the slender hero. Kim cried out, begging for mercy that she knew would never come. So, she tried to get away, but the more she struggled, the longer the torment lasted. Shego got a kick out of watching Kim trying to wiggle and to bargain her way out of the mess that she talked herself into.

Well, they had simplicity for all of one night thanks to Kim having to tell her mother about the engagement. They told their friends once Kim was done being a smartass in Shego’s opinion; it was being tortured in Kim’s opinion. They made the mistake of holding the conversations at the same time in the same place; they gave up the information over the phone.

“It’s about time you settled down!” Ron hollered in an overjoyed tone over the Kimmunicator.

“What do you mean you’re marrying that brat?!” Betty screamed into Shego’s ear.

“Could you tell her I’m standing right here?” Kim said to Shego, even though she knew that Betty would not care if she heard her or not. Betty still referred to her as a brat to her face after all.

“Did Shego buy you an engagement collar?” Monique asked over the Kimminucator. Kim had three-way call going on.

“If you tell your ragtag group of monkeys, I’m standing right here,” Shego replied to Kim’s request.

Shego was fortunate that she was standing right there, though because once they got off their phones, she realized something. She had to go out and buy Kim an engagement ring before her mother showed up. The devil woman would not shut up if she showed up to find Kim without a proper ring on her finger.

“Princess, what size ring do you wear?” Shego asked.

“Why? You don’t have to get me a ring,” Kim answered.

“I do if I don’t want to hear that woman’s mouth when she gets here,” the green-skinned woman pointed out.

“Why don’t you call her and just make up some story about why you missed her call?” Kim suggested.

“What the? Where have you been these past few years? When that woman says she’s on a plane, chances are she’s actually in a cab on the way to the house! I don’t want to get caught by her,” Shego replied.

“Well, I could explain it’s not that big a deal.”

“And she won’t listen. Come on, we’ll go ring shopping right now and she won’t have an excuse to bite my head off and I won’t have to break my foot off in her ass,” Shego said.

Kim decided against arguing since she knew that things would go smoother that way. She would not mind having a ring to show off to her friends, even though she did not really need one as far as she was concerned. She was willing to bet that it would feel something akin to magnificent to have a ring on her finger from her beloved symbolizing Shego’s willingness to marry her too. She trotted up to the bedroom to change into some outside clothes.

Shego just stood around for a moment. She could not believe that she had actually proposed. It had not been as hard as she thought it would have been. It probably seemed to come out of the blue to Kim since they had just been lying in the bed about to go to sleep when she popped the question. Shego was not even sure what made her ask such an important question at the moment that she had, but she did not regret it. She really did want to marry Kim. Maybe it was about time, especially since they were the only ones out of everyone that they knew that was not married.

She decided to stop thinking about the proposal and went to get dressed herself. She and Kim got dressed and went to the door to leave the house. Shego opened the door as soon as her mother was posed to knock.

“Fuck,” Shego said the moment she locked eyes with Isabel.

“How dare you!” Isabel shouted and then she noticed Kim. “Hi, dearie.”

“Hi,” Kim said and she waved a little. Isabel smiled a bit and then turned her attention back to her daughter. A frown conquered Isabel’s face as soon as she focused back on Shego.

“You spoiled little brat! How dare you get engaged and not tell me the moment it happens!” the middle-aged martial artist hollered at Shego and she poked the pale woman in between her collar bone with a manicured index finger.

“Mommy, chill that shit!” Shego ordered while backing away to hopefully stop the hitting, even though it was far from vicious. It was demeaning, though especially in front her fiancée.

“I will not! How dare you!” Isabel screamed and she just grabbed Shego by her shirt collar. It seemed that she really planned beat Shego’s ass for her transgression.

“Whoa! Isabel, Isabel, Isabel! It’s not what you think!” Kim said because she did not want to see her fiancée beaten up in front of her, especially not by the woman’s mother.

“It’s not what I think? So, she didn’t ask you to marry her?” Isabel inquired.

“No, she did do that,” the redhead answered, though she knew that response would not help.

“Then it is just what I think!” Isabel declared while turning her attention back to her daughter, who was definitely going to get it.

“Mommy, I was going to tell you!” Shego lied. Funny how she always swore that she could and would kick her mother’s ass if given the chance, but with it staring her in the face right now, a huge part of her mind just wanted to find a way out of the possibly dying by her mother’s hands. Another part of her was actually ashamed to have anger her mother to the point where the woman was grabbing her rather violently.

“When?” the middle-aged martial artist demanded to know.

“Um….soon?” Shego guessed.

“Oh, yeah, that’s believable,” Isabel snarled.

“Damn it, Princess, this is all your fault!” Shego said. “And I will get you back for it,” she added in a tone that made Kim pout.

“Don’t try to blame her,” Isabel said to her daughter.

“Mommy, it’s not that serious! I just proposed last night. It wasn’t even really planned, okay? So, why don’t you get the fuck up out of my face?” Shego suggested, trying to regain some of her composure.

“Why don’t you make me get the fuck out of your face?” Isabel countered.

“You just want an excuse to get into a fight. I’m not going to give you one. Stop being so fucking pissed for no fucking reason. Okay, fine, I didn’t tell you. I was going to tell you eventually. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but eventually,” the pale woman informed her mother.

Isabel seemed to consider that and then she released Shego. It sometimes stunned Kim how Isabel and Shego interacted. They were so rough with each other and said things that Kim could never imagine saying to her mother or having her mother say to her. But, it seemed to work for the pair.

“How long is eventually?” Isabel asked her daughter.

“It’s eventually. I mean, you know I couldn’t just end up getting married and not tell you. I know you’d find out sooner or later anyway. I just didn’t want to have to put up with your ‘oh, firefly, you’re getting married’ bullshit,” Shego explained.

“But, firefly, you’re getting married!” Isabel smiled broadly and embraced her daughter. It was almost like she was not looking to rip Shego’s throat out with her bare hand mere seconds ago.

“Oh, god! Mommy stop hugging me! Stop hugging me!” Shego begged and tried her best to escape the embrace. It was damn near creepy to be hugged by her mother.

“I’ve waited for this day for so long!” Isabel actually lifted Shego off of her feet while continuing to hug her.

“Stop hugging me, you damned emotional cow!” the green-skinned female shouted.

Isabel got in one last good squeeze before releasing her daughter. She then turned her attention to Kim and embraced the redhead. Kim groaned, unaccustomed to receiving crushing embrace rather than giving the hug.

“I’m so glad you for, Kimmie,” Isabel said.

“Thank you,” Kim grunted out.

“But, you do realize this means you’ll be stuck with this cranky woman for the rest of your life, don’t you?” Isabel pointed out while releasing the redhead.

“That’s what I’ve wanted since I met her,” Kim answered with a laugh.

“If anything, I’m the one that’s going to suffer from this in the long run,” Shego remarked.

“You shouldn’t have proposed then,” Isabel retorted. Shego only stuck her tongue out at her mother for lack of a better comeback. The middle-aged woman could care less than nothing about that act. “So, when’s the date? Where are you going to have the wedding? How big do you plan on having it?” Isabel asked.

“We haven’t thought on any of that stuff. I haven’t even gotten her a ring yet, okay? So, save your questions,” the daughter answered.

“What do you mean you haven’t gotten her a ring? How did you propose without a ring?” Isabel inquired as if such a thing were not possible in the known universe.

“I opened my fucking mouth and asked, doy,” Shego replied.

Isabel sighed. Did her daughter just not know how to be romantic? She was supposed to make everything special for Kim since the girl was the love of her life. Only Shego, Isabel thought while shaking her head in a disapproving manner, which Shego knew was for her, even though her mother had not said anything.

“What? What did I do now?” Shego inquired.

“Cassandra, I know I’ve raised you better than this,” Isabel said.

“Watch the name,” Shego growled.

“You were supposed to go all out for this. You love Kim with all of your stone-cold, black heart,” Isabel remarked. “You were supposed to go out and buy her a beautiful diamond ring, take her to the best restaurant, get down on one knee, propose to her by explaining how your life would be devoid of happiness without her, and have the finest wine on hand for when she accepted.”

“Why? Is that what Dad did?” the moss-hued woman commented with a rather disinterested expression on her face.

“Oh, your father went all out. A candle lit dinner was involved as were two dozen long stem roses, but don’t get me started,” Isabel replied.

Shego only rolled her eyes. She could give less than a damn about how her father proposed to her mother. It was not like a great proposal led to a fantastic marriage between the two. If anything, she did not want to do anything like her parents because she did not want her and Kim to end up like that. After all, her parents were somewhat separated most of the time and when they were together, it did not take much to put them at odds with each other. She did not want her relationship to be anything like that.

“Look, Kimmie didn’t mind the way I proposed,” Shego pointed out and Kim backed her by nodding.

Kim was just happy that the question came. She had been with Shego for five years now. Sure, most of those years she had been looked at as a pet, but that had gradually changed, even while she was still being called a pet. She had been ready to stay with Shego forever since she started staying with Shego, so the idea of marriage only made her happy. She did not care how the notion was presented. It was definitely the thought and desire that counted.

“Still, you should have done something spectacular for her,” Isabel argued.

“She didn’t need me to do anything spectacular,” Shego stated, but some part of her was thinking that maybe her mother had a point. She should have done something grand for Kim to show just how much the redhead meant to her.

“After everything you put her through, I think she at least deserves something unbelievably wonderful,” Isabel retorted.

Shego was about to argue further, but before she could open her mouth, the debate was interrupted. The Kimmunicator started going off. Kim quickly grabbed it and answered it, even though it was supposed to be her day off.

“What’s the sitch, Wade?” the redhead inquired.

“High tech robbery, you might want to get on it right away. It’s at a lab right outside Go City,” Wade answered.

“No problem. You got a ride for me?” Kim asked. She figured that she might as well help out since Shego and Isabel seemed content on wasting the day yelling at each other.

“Of course. The car’s waiting right outside your house. You’ll know the driver,” Wade informed her.

“Okay.” Kim nodded and then she turned her attention to her lover.

“Go ahead,” Shego sighed. She knew that Kim was looking at her just because she wanted to know if it was all right for her to run out while there seemed to be a crisis in the house.

The petite hero smiled and gave Shego a farewell hug. She also kissed Shego before bidding both older women goodbye. She then exited the house and trotted out to see who her ride was. Shego shut the door behind her exiting girl.

“I can’t believe you,” Isabel said to her daughter.

“Shut up and help me,” Shego replied.

“Help you what?” the older woman inquired curiously.

“What else? Help me set up something romantic while she’s gone,” the green-skinned female stated. She had never been so glad to see Kim leave for a mission than she was at the moment. It gave her a chance to do things right now and let it be a surprise.

“What?” Isabel appeared rather bewildered about what her daughter was requesting.

“Look, I’m not going to say it again and I damn sure won’t say you were right, but now that I have the chance, I could set up something really nice and present her with a really nice ring while I’m at it. So, help me or get the fuck out,” Shego explained.

“Of course I’ll help,” Isabel replied. “But, for the record, I’m always right.”

“The hell you are. Any person that can give birth to Hego and still love him as he grows up to be an asshole can’t be all that great,” the younger woman remarked.

“You’re awful,” the middle-aged female commented.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s get moving. Who knows how long she’ll be gone,” Shego pointed out.

Isabel nodded and they left in rush. She was glad to be a part of something that involved Shego doing something special for Kim. She could not believe that her daughter had actually proposed, even though she had done it in a very unromantic manner. It was just amazing because hardly a year ago, Shego tried to swear that she only thought of Kim as a pet, even though it was clear that Kim was so much more.


Kim returned to the house, desiring nothing more than to grab a shower and then to get cuddled on the sofa. It would be a good end to a trying day. The high tech robbery had turned out to be an inside job and she had quickly tracked down the person responsible for what happened. The tiring thing about the day was that the person could run, very, very fast. Also, the person could fight a little bit, so she got a bit of a workout. It was nothing extremely serious, but she was ready to relax.

When the redhead entered the house, she saw all of the lights were out. She craned an eyebrow. Maybe Shego was gone, she thought. She went upstairs to take her shower since it seemed that she was home alone. Halfway through her shower, she heard the bathroom door open.

“Shego?” Kim said.

“I’m just putting some stuff up,” Shego replied.

“Okay. You want—?” Kim tried to offer, but she was cut off.

“I can’t join you at the moment. I’m doing something,” the moss-hued woman answered. Kim pouted, which Shego guessed she was doing. “Don’t pout, Princess. I’ve got a surprise for you,” the older female said.

“You do?” Kim asked in a hopeful tone.

“Indeed I do.”

Kim heard the door shut before she could ask anymore questions. She quickly finished her shower and dressed because she wanted to find out what the surprise was. She threw on some house clothes, just some shorts and a tank-top. She then went to find out where Shego was.

The redhead checked the bedroom first; it was apparent what she hoped the surprise involved. The bedroom was empty and the lights were out. It would seem that the surprise was not what she wanted it to be, but ah well. She still wanted to know what the surprise was.

She traveled downstairs and noticed that it was still dark. She went to check the living room and before she even entered the room, she noticed that there was a fire in the fireplace. She was curious, so she started taking steps toward the living room. As she got closer, little flames from candles began popping up and Kim could make out Shego’s silhouette lighting the candles. By the time she was in the living room, the candles were all lit and Kim could make out a blanket on the floor with a meal spread out on it.

“This is the surprise?” Kim inquired in an amazed tone. She liked it so far. It was rare for them to have a true romantic moment.

“This is the start. Come on, sit down,” Shego beckoned her girl and added to that by motioning to herself with her index finger.

Kim might as well have been on a string with the way that she went over to Shego. The pale woman sat Kim down in front of her plate, which held ziti. The younger female grinned at the sight of pasta, which Shego expected. Kim was not very hard to please, the emerald-eyed woman thought with a smile.

“What did I do to deserve this?” Kim wondered aloud.

“Stop acting like it’s something so great,” Shego said.

“It is!” Kim insisted. A romantic picnic in the living room with candle light and the fireplace going? It was like a wonderful dream. Add to that the meal in front her and that made it more like a fantasy.

Shego only shook her head. Once again Kim was making her feel as if the world revolved around her, which was something that the younger female did pretty much every day. Kim did deserve a better proposal than the one that she gave her, Shego silently conceded. Kim deserved the most romantic proposal a person could offer up.

They sat quietly and ate the meal of ziti and toasted, buttered bread. Shego had made ziti because it was the one pasta that she enjoyed, although she did not enjoy it as much as Kim did. She doubted that there was a creature in existence that loved pasta as much as little redhead did.

“This is great,” Kim declared with a smile as Shego poured her a glass of wine.

“I figured you’d like it,” the pale woman commented with a smile of her own.

“You were so right!” Kim grinned.

Shego smiled again and they sat there, having a quiet dinner. It was lovely to just sit there and not have to worry about what to talk about or be worried that someone was going to say something stupid or annoying or judgmental. And when they were done, Kim leaned over and kissed Shego for no reason other than the fact that she was enjoying the evening so far.

“You’re such an affectionate little monster,” Shego remarked when the kiss was done.

“Your affectionate little monster,” Kim replied.

“That you are. I’ve got something for you,” Shego said.

“Something more than this?”

Shego smiled softly and then stood up. She walked out of the room for a moment and then returned. She was holding a huge bouquet of red, long stem roses; hey, it was her mother’s idea. Kim’s mouth fell open when she saw them.

“For me?” Kim asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, and you’d better work real hard to keep them alive for as long as possible. They cost a small fortune,” Shego replied while handing the flowers over.

Kim only smiled as she cradled the roses in her arms. She had never gotten flowers before, except for her parents when she graduated high school. She hugged the roses as if they were a toy of some kind, which made Shego happy because she knew that Kim liked the flowers. It was not something that Shego understood nor was it something that she wanted to spend her money on until that very moment when she saw Kim’s expression.

“There’s still more,” Shego informed the redhead.

“More? Is this a trick or something?” Kim asked suspiciously.

“Why do you always think something’s a trick?” Shego countered.

“Because you’re being so blatantly nice. It’s usually a trick,” the redhead explained.

“It’s not a trick this time. You should be more trusting of me,” the older woman said, more teasing than serious.

“I do trust you to pick on me every chance you get.”

“Well, you shouldn’t make it so fun and easy to do.”

Kim laughed a little bit and then decided to smell her roses. She grinned as she inhaled the fragrance. Shego shook her head; her monster sure was too cute.

“Kim, I want to ask you something,” Shego said in a very serious tone.

“What?” the redhead asked with almost a sense of dread. Shego never called her “Kim.” The closest Shego got to her real name was “Kimmie.” It was a little unsettling to hear.

Shego gulped and repositioned herself on the floor by bending down on one knee. Her heart beat began to speed up and she realized that she was nervous, despite the fact that she knew how things were going to go. Oh, man. She could not imagine going through it all in a crowded restaurant with people staring and being even a little unsure of what the answer might be. She might have actually fainted in such a situation and someone like her should never faint, in her opinion.

“Okay, Kim, I know it might have started out as a pet name, but over the years you’ve really become a princess to me and I want to honor as you as such for the rest of my life. I will treat you like royalty forever and always if you would do me the honor of marrying me?” Shego asked for a second time. It was much better the second time around.

Kim was speechless for a moment, even though they both knew what the answer was going to be. Shego took the moment to reach into her pocket and pull out a small, black box. She opened it to reveal a gold band lined with small diamonds all around. Kim looked ready to pop when she saw the ring.

“Um…Pumpkin, gonna need an answer here,” Shego reminded her girl.

“YES! Doy!” Kim replied while flinging herself into Shego’s arms and accidentally knocking the ring, box and all, out of her hand.

“AH!” Shego hollered in pure distress while searching on the dark floor for the small ring. “Aw, you lost it!”

“What? You can’t blame me for that!” Kim objected.

“You’re the one that’s always hugging me! Help me find it!” Shego said in a panic. That thing cost almost an entire paycheck!

The two separated and began searching the floor for Kim’s engagement ring. After a couple of minutes of looking, Shego got the good sense to turn on the lights and look for the ring. They spotted the box only to find that it was empty.

“Ah, damn it,” Shego groaned. The perfect evening ruined by an enthusiastic hug. She should have brought an engagement necklace, something that could not roll away thanks to her energetic Princess. “I’m never proposing to you again,” Shego remarked.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find it,” Kim assured the older woman with a bright smile that only she could mutter after losing her own engagement ring. Shego sighed, but she believed Kim. They would find the ring.


Next time: a third proposal?


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