Dr. James Possible drove Kim and Ron to the Stoppable home after dinner. The two held hands discretely in the back seat; her father not even aware it was happening. When the car came to a stop Ron would have jumped out, but Kim caught his arm and gave him a chaste kiss before letting him leave.
Rather than going directly inside Ron sat on the porch steps and waited for Shego to arrive.
Kim and Shego had more fun in the back seat of Jean's car. “Could you two control yourselves?” Dr. Jean Possible demanded.
“Sorry Mom,” Kim moaned as Shego nibbled on her neck, “but we aren't doing anything Ron and I haven't done.”
“Yes, but you never French-kissed Ron in the backseat while I was watching you in the rear view mirror.”
“It's dangerous to take your eyes off the road,” Shego pointed out.
“Thanks for the good advice,” Jean managed to growl through gritted teeth.
Shego left the car and smiled at Ron as she walked up to the house, “Any house rules I need to know?” she asked as she sat on the other end of the front step.
“Don't wake the baby.”
“Oh God, not a kid.”
“She's pretty cool, for a baby. You'll meet her in the morning.”
“Any way to pass on that?”
“'fraid not, she comes with the house.” They sat in the darkness for a few more minutes before Ron spoke again. “Kind of a weird day, huh?”
She smiled, “Do you mean the theory that she somehow got split into gay and straight versions of herself, or the idea that you might be in love with a clone, or the worry about what happens if the two parts go back together?”
“Actually, I was thinking more of you being, uh, ‘that way’. Was Bortel's potion that powerful?”
Shego thought for a minute. “Weren't you listening at dinner?”
“Uh, no.”
“Where was your head?” Ron simply blushed. “It's like I told Kim's mom. I've thought Kim was cute for a long time. But our business relation was such there was never a good time to ask, ‘Hey, can we stop this fight for a minute while I look for your tonsils with my tongue?’ It just didn't sound professional.”
“And you're really leaving Drakken?”
She looked at the stars and thought for a minute. “I guess so. Kim definitely made me a better offer.” Ron said nothing and Shego looked over, “You're drooling again.”
“Better offer?”
“Okay Stoppable, you've got a choice. First choice is a beautiful redhead for a girlfriend and a real shot at a pardon. Or you can continue to be a wanted criminal while listening to Drakken yammer about his plans for world domination and living with a collection of henchmen with serious hygiene problems. Your choice?”
“The redhead and a pardon?”
“Sounded good to me too.”
“So you're giving up evil?”
Shego paused before answering, “I'm pretty sure no one asked me to do that. It's not just a job for me -- I enjoy it.” She looked over to find him staring at her. “Just playing with your head,” she chuckled and extended her hand for him to give her five. Ron smiled and swung his arm to give her five and she jerked it back at the last minute. “Maybe.”
Inside the house he loaned her a pair of pajamas and made up the couch. “We'll find something better for tomorrow,” he promised.
Things were more complicated at the Possible home. “Kims, go to bed,” their father told them, “you've had a long day.”
They stared at each other. “She's not sleeping in my bed.”
“James, you deal with it, I'm exhausted,” his wife told him as she headed for bed.
They tried again, “It's my bed! I'm the only one who sleeps there!”
“Girls, while I heartily approve of that statement it doesn't solve the problem. You're both you. Could one of you take the guest room?”
The Kims were emphatic, “No.”
“Fine, you can sleep with yourself.”
“WHAT!”
“It's your bed. Sleep in it. If we can't get the two of you back together in a week we buy bunk beds.”
“BUNK BEDS! I have to share my room with her?” they shouted.
“I'm getting the headache now. And since you'll both want the same side of the bed -- Ron and right start with the same letter, whoever loves Ron sleeps on the right.”
“But--”
“Bed, now!”
They took off running. “Nice they decided to listen to their dad,” he congratulated himself.
They had realized they were stuck, and both wanted her favorite nightgown. Kim elbowed Kim aside going around a corner and won the race. Kim retaliated by grabbing Pandaroo for herself while Kim took the nightgown.
They lay on their own half of the bed, “Don't even think about touching me, pervert.”
“Like I'd want to touch you. That would be masturbation without any pleasure.”
They stared at the darkness of the ceiling. “What are we going to--” they began together.
“You got the good side. Let me start. Only one of us is registered for school.”
“It would be nice to share the homework.”
“And make stuff like yearbook assignment a lot easier.”
“Of course we can't let anyone know about the split.”
“And don't let anyone know you're queer. I don't want you ruining my reputation.”
“You're claiming I've always been totally straight?”
“Of course I have been.”
“So when I stared at Bonnie's boobs in the shower after cheerleading practice?”
“I never did that!”
“Oh, did Warmonga not copy those memories for her clone?”
“I'm not a clone! Okay, I stared at Bonnie once or twice --”
“That was how many times she probably caught me anyway.”
“Jealousy. It was just jealousy. No fair that the best boobs go to the biggest--”
“Yeah, she sure is. I always told myself that jealousy was the only reason.”
“That was the only reason!”
“Boy, you do an even better job of lying to yourself than I did. I mean, I never had any real interest in her, and I was more interested in boys, but she's hot. You got to admit that.”
“Yeah,” Kim said grudgingly. “But she's a real--”
“We agree on that… Think there's any way the two of us could pull something on her?”
Shego awoke Sunday morning in an uncomfortable state of mind -- she had most of the regrets and questions associated with a bad hangover but without the physical pain. She was in a strange house on a strange bed, couch actually, but at least there was no stranger in bed with her and she didn't have a killer headache. That love potion had to be strong stuff. Kim had taken advantage of her. This whole setup had to be some sort of trap. Quit Drakken? Turn herself in? What was she thinking?
She suffered a panic attack, certain the house was surrounded by squads of police, Global Justice agents, and the National Guard. She started sweating, how could she get out of here? She briefly considered using Ron as a hostage, but rejected the idea -- even if he hadn't evacuated his family from the house while she slept he would only slow her down while she tried to avoid pursuers. Maybe she should just surrender now -- it would be easier to break out of prison than escape the cordon they must have around the house.
Rolling around on the lab floor with Kim and the love potion fumes had simply been madness. They wanted sex. Even after the sprinkler system had washed most of the chemicals off they still wanted to get at each other. The shower had removed the last of the chemicals, but they had discovered they enjoyed the feel of each other's bodies… Shego smiled, she wanted to do even more than that with the redhead. Mother Possible was going to prove a pain in the rear with her “Not until Kim is eighteen!” but she couldn't watch them twenty-four hours a day…
Shego tried to focus. Did she love Kim? She wasn't certain. Did she want to have sex with Kim? Absolutely. Kim, unfortunately, seemed to have been raised with the idea that sex and commitment were somehow linked. Shego would have to teach her that painful but important lesson about life before she left town. New York sounded nice, or maybe find out what was happening in the new New Orleans… Would staying with Kim really be that difficult? Maybe the two of them could work something out… No, the three of them. Kim would probably make peace with Kim eventually and insist Shego treat the clone like a human being… No, the four of them. Clone and Ron came as a package deal. She couldn't make up her mind on Ron. He was obviously a clueless prat who spent too much time staring at her boobs and ass, but otherwise he seemed relatively harmless.
As if on cue Shego heard a soft knock on the door. “Who is it,” she asked, fearing the police.
“It's me,” came Ron's voice. “You up?”
“Yeah,” she grunted, “come on in.”
He came in bearing a tray. “Sunday morning in a Jewish household, there are certain religious rituals that take place.”
“Uh, I'm not big on religious rituals.”
“Tough. It is a sacred obligation.”
She sat up and he put the tray down on her lap. “Eat that.”
A thousand memories, mostly unpleasant, of Drakken asking her to “Taste this,” flooded her mind. “No way. I don't put anything in my mouth unless I know where it's been. What is this?”
“Bagel, cream cheese, lox, a little thinly sliced purple onion, and a sprinkling of capers.”
Shego hesitantly raised it to her lips and nibbled on one edge. She chewed cautiously, swallowed, and then took a large bite. “Stoppable, remember this day,” she told him while chewing, “Make a note of it in your head.”
“Okay, care to tell me why?”
“Because the time will come, Grasshopper, and we both know it will come, when I have a serious urge to dismember you, wrap the pieces up in small parcels and FedEx them to fifty complete strangers to absolutely ruin their days. You have provided yourself with a powerful counter charm. When I come at you with a look of uncontrollable anger in my eyes and a very large knife in my hand you shall recite the incantation, ‘Bagels and lox’ and I shall spare you out of gratitude for this day.”
“Way cool. Sort of like a ‘Get out of death free’ card in Monopoly.”
“Exactly.”
“We've got another ancient Jewish ritual for Sunday morning besides the bagels and lox.”
Shego sat with her cup of coffee on the living room floor looking through the sections of the New York Times. “Who has the comics?” she asked.
“You've never read the Times, have you?” Ron's Dad asked.
“How can you tell?”
“No comics.”
This was Shego's problem with religious rituals, they always got boring at some point. At least Hana turned out to be tolerable, as rug rats went. And Ron's mom seemed to appreciate having a chance to start the Times Sunday Crossword while the dark-haired child played peek-a-boo with the pale green woman.
While Shego made peace with the Stoppables things were more chaotic at the Possible household. Jim and Tim fought over the comics as Jean worked on breakfast, then additional fighting erupted upstairs.
“Bother,” Kim's mother muttered. “She's got to learn to live with herself.”
“We could give her twin lessons,” Jim offered.
“No thanks. First, Kim is not twins, and second, you two would be a bad example.”
Tim was sitting by the door nearest to Kim's room. “Sounds like they're fighting over what to wear.”
“That makes sense,” Jean sighed, “they'll want to wear the same things.”
She slid the biscuits in the oven and went upstairs to escort the nightgown-clad Kims down. She sat them at the table. “You two figure out some way to make decisions peacefully before I let you go back upstairs,” she warned them.
While Kims fought with her brothers for the comics Jean reminded them, “We leave for church at ten.”
“I'll stay home,” Kims offered.
“Not an option.”
“But we don't want people to see there are two of us,” they said.
“Well you should have thought of that before… Sorry. But staying home is not an option for either of you.”
“Can one of us go to church with Monique?” they suggested.
Jean sighed and wished they'd stop talking in stereo. “All right. How do you decide?”
“Get that old deck of cards in the junk drawer,” Kim told Kim.
“Whoever gets the Queen of Hearts goes with Monique.”
“Jack of Spades, you perv.”
“King of Diamonds,” Jean told them. “And the other gets first choice on clothes.”
“No way,” they told her. “Services at Monique's church go two and a half hours. King of Diamonds is Monique and first choice of clothes!”
“And we tell Monique what happened, right?” they asked each other.
After church the Possibles came home, changed clothes, ate lunch, and watched some television while waiting for Kim to get back with Monique.
About one-thirty those watching television heard the door open and Monique's voice.
“-- can't you tell me what happened to you yesterday?”
“'Cause I don't think you'll believe it ‘till you see it.” She called towards the family room, “Am I in there?”
“Yes, you are,” Tim shouted. “I wish you'd give me the remote.”
Monique raised an eyebrow and then went to the family room. She froze in the doorway as she saw Tim trying to wrestle the remote away from the same sister who was standing beside Monique. “OMG,” she managed to whisper.
“OMG?” Jim asked.
“Oh my God,” Kim translated.
“You're twins?” Monique demanded.
“No.”
“Robot?”
“No.”
“Camille?”
“No.”
“Clone?”
“Maybe.” “I am not!”
“So this one is the clone?”
“No I'm not!” “We're not sure.”
“Let me sit down, GF. I'm feeling a little shaky in the knees.”
“She thinks I'm a clone,” Kim explained. “Dad thinks it was weird transporter accident that split me in two.”
“And Dad thinks Captain Kirk was a real person--” Kim began.
“He's not?” her father interrupted, sounding hurt.
“Well, the transporter theory could be right. We really don't know. There is a small chance she is clone waiting her chance to kill us all.”
“The one thing we know for sure is that this Kim,” Kim said pointing to the other, “is now a pervert.”
“Am not!”
“Are too! You love Shego.”
“Mom, tell the clone that being a lesbian doesn't mean you're a pervert.”
“Girls! Stop this! Kim, stop calling Kim a clone, we don't know it's true and it is insulting. Kim, stop calling Kim a pervert. Gays and lesbians are not perverts because they love people of their own sex.”
Monique, glad she was already sitting down stared at Kim, “OMFG!”
“OMFG?” Jim asked.
“Don't answer that,” Jean warned.
“Monique!” Kim demanded, “How can you sit by her?”
“Doesn't matter if she likes girls. You're my friend… friends. Being lesbian doesn't mean you hit on every girl you meet.”
“Oh yeah? How about Alex?”
“Alex?” Jean demanded.
“Alex Safic,” Kim explainted, “she's tried her line on every girl in school.
“Her line?” Jean Possible couldn't resist asking.
“How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it,” Kims and Monique said together before breaking into fits of giggles.
Kim looked at her watch and announced, “I need to drive Shego out to the Lair to pick up her clothes.
At two Kim stopped the Sloth in front of Ron's house and hit the horn. Shego and Ron were sitting on the front steps talking.
“Need any help with the move?” Ron offered.
“No thanks, it would just mean less space in the car.”
Ron suffered an anxiety attack, he feared Shego was tricking Kim and had a trap prepared for her. He broke into a sweat, but didn't know how to warn Kim or what to do. He took a deep breath. Perhaps Shego really was changing, and at the very least Kim was better prepared than anyone else in the world if it was a trap.
Kim suffered a jealousy attack as she watched Shego and Ron talking. The two looked too comfortable together. The feeling only deepened as Shego jiggled out to the car. The pale woman was wearing a pair of Ron's blue jeans, which were loose around the waist but tight across her thighs and rear. She wore one of Ron's red jerseys also but,
“You're not wearing a bra!”
Shego chuckled. “You noticed. So did Ron, but he was trying real hard to pretend he didn't. You seemed to like them yesterday so I--”
“Work first, play later,” Kim said. “You need to give me directions.”
Halfway to the Lair, after Kim yelled “Stop that!” for the fifteenth time, Shego complained, “Considering how you were playing with me yesterday when I was flying us home you're a real poo, you know that?”
“Look, I'm not that comfortable driving. Right now I just want to help you get your stuff out and get us home. There'll be time for fun later.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
The two walked up to the door hand-in-hand. Kim panicked as Shego punched her access code into the key pad. Was this whole thing a trap of some sort? What was on the other side of the door?
The door slid back, revealing an empty hall and the pair entered.
“Where are your quarters?”
“Later, we'll see Drakken first.”
Kim fought the urge to turn and run and reluctantly accompanied the green woman as they checked the labs. They found Drakken in the kitchen, checking the timer on the oven.
“Got a minute, Doc?”
“Not now, Shego. I may have been able to duplicate the lemon square recipe.”
“I'm afraid it's important. I'm quitting.”
“Don't be ridiculous,” he said, still watching the oven timer, “I owe you too much money for you to quit.”
“Wrong answer Doc. That's one of the reasons I'm turning states's evidence against you. They'll have a list of all your hideouts by this time tomorrow.”
That caught the blue man's attention. And when he turned to look at Shego he noticed Kim for the first time. “Oh, Snap!” Drakken screamed as he suffered his own panic attack.
“Do you think we should call the Guinness Book of World Records?” Kim asked.
“Why?”
“Because I'm pretty sure that's a record for the standing high jump.”
The pair gazed towards the ceiling. “I'm surprised the light fixture will hold him,” Shego remarked.
“Don't say that,” Drakken shouted. But, as if on cue, the cord and decorative chain gave way and the mad scientist crashed to the floor.
“I suppose it's too late to pay you what I owe you and have you drop the state's evidence idea,” he groaned.
“Yep, too late. Oh, you'd better check the lemon squares, they smell done.”
The pair left the blue man and Shego led the way to her quarters. Once there Shego closed the door behind them and it locked with a loud click. She pulled the redhead to her, “Now, Princess, time for some fun before the packing.”
Kim pushed her away, “Wrong Princess.”
“What do you… Oh hell, that explains it. You're the prissy little clone aren't you?”
“I'm not a clone!”
“Yes you are. And you're out here to kill my fun. The real Kim and I were going to… Never mind. You'll rat me out to her mom.”
“My mom!”
“So you admit you'd rat me out.”
“Look, I didn't want to come out with a pervert like you. But when the other Kim said she agreed to help you pack mom and dad told me I had to come out instead of her.”
Shego glared at Kim, “You're Pumpkin, she's Princess. Got that?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Don't do this again.”
“Look, I didn't want to do it this time. But if Mom or Dad ask me to take her place and see what you're up to I'm going to listen to my parents.”
Shego muttered a curse under her breath and announced, “Time to put on my own clothes and get packing.” She pulled off Ron's jersey and tossed it on the bed. “I'll bet he wears it as soon as I give it back to him,” she told Kim. “It’s the closest his chest is going to get to my tits.” The pale woman walked over to a bureau and pulled a drawer open. “What do you think, Pumpkin, which bra do you like?” She held up three or four for Kim to see.
Kim sat down on the floor, leaned back against the door, and shut her eyes. “Look, you don't turn me on. I've got no interest in you and you're annoying me.”
“Good, I'd hate to think my efforts were being wasted. Oh, you'll love this,” Shego said as she pulled down Ron's jeans, revealing a pair of Ron's boxers. Kim's eyes went wide as Shego stripped them off and sniffed the crotch, “Oh, he's going to sleep with these on his pillow.”
“GIVE ME THOSE BOXERS!”
“Gee, Pumpkin, I didn't know you cared. Going to sleep with them yourself or wash them and give them back to Ron?”
“You are sick. I'm going to wash them.”
“Want the jersey and jeans too?”
Kim nodded again and Shego tossed all of Ron's clothes at her. Shego smiled as she dressed. It was not a much fun as a roll with Princess on the bed would have been, but goading Pumpkin definitely had entertainment value.
Shego pulled three oversized duffels from the closet after she finished dressing. “I don't have much,” she explained, “between Stoppable and Drakken blowing up lairs I've given up trying to get a lot of clothes. Underwear and a few clothes in one of these, rest of my clothes in the second, toiletries and anything else in the third. You going to help me pack?”
“No.”
“Then I take off my clothes and pack naked and slow. It'll be four or five hours until I'm done and you get to see Ron.”
“Give me one of the damn duffels. And I'm not touching your underwear -- your Princess can do that.”
“And soon, I hope,” Shego said cheerily as she threw a duffel at Kim's head.
Kim and Ron hung around the mall with Monique for the afternoon. Other than wanting to hold her hand it wasn't too much different for him from the days before they started dating.
While they were snacking at the food court Monique asked, “So how do I tell you apart from the other Kim?”
“Umm, don't know,” Kim said, stealing a French fry from Ron's tray -- which drew an angry stare from Rufus, who had his eye on those particular calories. “You got any ideas Ron?”
Ron had lots of ideas, but they involved both Kims, Shego and a bottle of Wesson oil and he wasn't going to share the thoughts with Kim and Monique. “Uh, missed the question KP, could you repeat it?”
“Monique was wondering how to tell us apart.”
“Well, for starters I'm a guy--” He ducked as Monique swung a bag at his head.
“Me and Kim,” Kim giggled.
“Oh, I'm clueless.”
“We know,” Monique told him. “Why doesn't one of you go by something other than Kim?” she suggested to Kim.
“Well, I'm not giving up my name to her. And I think that's the same way she feels too. Oh, I need to swear you two to secrecy. Kim and I don't know if this is permanent or temporary. Maybe we'll go back together or something. But we'd like to keep the fact there are two of us secret for the time being.”
“Why do I think you've got something up your sleeve?” Monique wondered.
Kim did a very poor job of looking innocent.
Monique headed home from the mall, and Ron and Kim went back to her house. They came in through the kitchen and found the Drs. Possible playing cribbage. “Are Kim and Shego back?” Kim asked.
Her mother frowned as she looked at her cards, deciding what to keep in her hand and what to put in the crib. “I think they're in the family room killing each other,” she told her daughter.
Ron and Kim ran to the family room, where Kim and Shego were sitting in front of the television holding dual controllers. “Eat death!” Kim shouted as one of the characters on the screen hit the other with a shell from a bazooka. “ Ha! I own you. Twenty-seven to eight!”
“Where were you?” Shego demanded of Kim.
“At the mall with Ron.”
Kim looked jealous, but before she could say anything Shego ordered, “Ron, home now!”
“Great job, Kim,” Kim complained as the boy and girlfriend left. “You made her mad and now we're stuck with each other.”
Ron apologized on the way home. “I don't know what Kim was thinking when they asked you to stay with me. Things are screwed up at home since Hana arrived. We're going to get the attic fixed up, or maybe the unfinished area over the garage. I don't know what to tell you. The den is too small and dad uses it as home office so you can't keep using that couch.”
“Got a cot?”
“Sure, but I don't know where to put it.”
There's a ton of space in that attic. I'll take the other end for now, Roomie. After they get my legal affairs in order I'll see about renting an apartment.”
Ron helped Shego carry her duffels upstairs.
“String a clothes line from here to here,” she told him. “And hang up a sheet. Do I need to tell you what happens if you come on my side of the sheet uninvited?”
“I need to use the ‘Get out of death free’ card?”
She nodded.
An hour later she was still organizing her clothes when Ron called, “Hey, are you ready to go?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Kim was supposed to ask you over for dinner tonight.”
“She was?”
“Yeah, her folks really do want to know more about you. Kim must have forgotten.” Shego had her own opinion of Pumpkin's memory.
As supper drew to a close, “Can Shego and I help you clean up?” Kim offered.
Jean smiled, “That would be wonderful.”
“Why in the hell did you volunteer us to help?” Shego whispered in Kim's ear.
Kim leaned over and whispered in Shego's ear, “Because we're trying to get her to like you before my birthday, remember? Ron doesn't clean. You're making points.”
When Kim and Shego finished in the kitchen they went into the family room to find Ron sitting on one end of the couch and Kim stretched out, her head on his lap, watching television.
“Give us some room,” Kim ordered.
“Sit on the floor,” Kim retorted.
“Anything wrong with the easy chair?” Shego asked.
“Besides the fact it only has room for one?” Kim responded.
Shego sat down on the chair, “Sit on my lap,” she suggested. Kim smiled and snuggled up to the older woman.
“How come you never ask me to sit on your lap,” Kim hissed at Ron.
“I, uh, think it might sound a little different coming from a guy.”
Shego considered a little fondling, but decided against it. She wanted Princess to think she could behave. Besides, Pumpkin was watching them very closely and would report any impropriety to their mother. And Pumpkin would mess up her own time with Ron while spying. And, Shego reflected as she wrapped her arms around Kim and inhaled the scent of her hair, just holding Princess was nice,
Shego wondered if any of Bortel's love potion could have stayed in Kim's hair. Just having Kim on her lap was making the older woman feel good. She closed her eyes and nuzzled the back of Kim's head. Staying around Middleton wouldn't be too bad. No point in breaking Kim's heart after one just night in bed together… Maybe she could stay around six months and really hurt her properly. Shego inhaled again. Damn, this kid was addictive. Maybe she should try running now before Kim broke her heart.
At nine-thirty the Drs. Possible reminded Kims they had school tomorrow and shooed Ron and Shego from the house.
“So, do you have your own pajamas now?” Ron asked as they walked back to his house.
“Sorry, I guess I need to keep yours awhile longer. I don't normally wear anything to bed.” Ron didn't answer. As they passed under the light of a street lamp she glanced over. “You're drooling again.”
First time I've had an outline for another chapter, “Bonnie Got Your Tongue?” This time I'm almost hoping for enough reviews to make me continue.