Kim sat cross legged on the top bunk and glared at her new dorm mate.
Her dorm mate sat on a chair at one of the two small wooden desks and glared back at Kim.
“My mother thought moving into the dorm would be good for me. Looks like she missed that one,” Kim complained.
“Like, I want to live with you this year? My first two roomies moved out -- and they didn't even have the loving family of Middleton's girl hero to go home to.”
“Stuff it, Bonnie, your family lives as close to campus as mine.”
“No freakin’ way! You met my sisters. I've been counting down the minutes until I could get out of that house for two years. And you're not going to drive me back.”
“Seriously, my mom wanted me out of our house.”
“Oh, sure! Your parents worship you. Let me guess, you also have a bridge in Brooklyn you want to sell me. I put up with your crap through high school -- always having to top me. I put up with my family's crap -- the putdowns. I'm out of the house to get away from them. I think you're here just to screw up my life more.”
“Like I even care about your life. All you ever did through high school was insult me.”
“Oh yeah, like the talent show? I've been taking dance lessons since I was four -- and your buddy Stupible signs you up just to beat me -- and then he takes the fucking contest himself with his clown act. That wasn't the two of you trying to top me? How about the cheer routines I worked hard to plan, and you'd waltz in ten minutes after practice was supposed to start and everyone would fawn over your ideas. You stuff it Kim. You had it right on graduation - what I was looking forward to was never having to see you again.”
At a cease-fire in the quarrel Bonnie announced, “You need to know the ground rules. This has been my room for a week--”
“Well, it's OUR room now, not yours. You don't tell me the rules -- we negotiate.”
“I will not negotiate rules like keeping things picked up. I don't want to come in here and find a pile of clothes on the floor like the Wicked Witch of the West just evaporated--”
“She dissolved, not evaporated.”
“Whatever, Kim. You will keep your junk picked up. Although it doesn't look like you have very much.”
“I wasn't really planning on living in the dorm--”
“Then go home!”
“But I'm here now, and I'm staying. Mom is taking me shopping at Targét next weekend for dorm stuff.”
“Rule two, you don't ask to wear anything of mine. I'm sure not going to ask to wear anything of yours. You want to try to negotiate that?”
“No.”
“Good. Rule three, I go to bed at ten. If you break down and buy a desk lamp you can sit at the desk and study quietly -- but no noise in here after ten. Take your noise to the lounge.”
“That's silly. Why do I have to live my life around you going to bed ridiculously early?”
“Because I get up at five in the morning. And if you don't let me have quiet you will find me a very noisy riser.”
“Louder than your snoring?”
“I don't snore.”
“I bunked with you at cheer camp, remember? You're a cross between gravel truck and chain saw.”
“Even if I do snore, how do you propose to negotiate that away?”
Kim had no answer. After a pause she asked, “What about your stereo?”
“If you're studying I use the headphones.”
“No, I meant can I use it?”
“Buy your own boom box, I don't want you touching my stuff.”
“So that's a no on the microwave too?”
“Gee, I guess you aren't totally stupid.”
“I think I remember the dorm handbook saying we weren't supposed to have microwaves.”
“Yeah, but everyone does.”
“Just wondering if that would still be true if someone complained to the dorm director.”
“Fine, you can use it for popcorn -- but that's all. And pick up anything you drop on the floor.”
“Uh, Bonnie, how about if I get a dorm-size fridge?”
“What about a fridge? The rule book bans those too.”
“Yeah, but like you say -- everyone has them.”
“Free use of microwave -- if you let me have a shelf?”
“You got to sweeten the deal a little Bonnie, let's talk stereo.”
“What's your offer. I don't want you changing the radio station -- and if I'm in the room I can turn off your stuff and put on my own.”
“But I can play my CDs, if you aren't here?”
“That's my offer.”
“Hey, you have pre-sets for the radio. You aren't going to use all five, give me two and it's a deal.”
“I'm already using four. I'll give you one. Final offer. And you don't get it until you have the fridge.”
“I'll take it. Oh, and now we have to talk about the big one.”
“Big one?”
“What are the rules about having friends here?”
“If you're trying to study I'll take my friends to the lounge. I expect you to give me the same courtesy. These rooms are too small for a decent party.”
“Actually by friends, I meant significant others in the room. How late can they stay? What if one of us wants someone to spend the night?”
“Significant others? You mean you and Stupible are making it?”
“Not Ron, I… I fell in love with someone over the summer.”
“Do I know him?”
“It's not a ‘him’ she's a her.”
“Funny, Kim. But you don't look like a lesbian. You and Monique?”
“NO! And you don't know what lesbians look like. They look like anyone. I was hanging around with a bunch of them last summer at the coffee house. And second, I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian, I just know I love a woman.”
“Kim, if you're screwing around in bed with a woman you are a lesbian.”
“We haven't done it yet. Mom and Dad want us to wait at least three months. I'm having some trouble waiting, looking forward to when we can -- and I want to know the rules for our room.”
“So, you want me to be in the room listening while Pixie Scout Kim Possible loses her virginity?”
“No, I want you in the lounge when Shego and I--”
“SHEGO? Bonnie was in hysterics, “Oh, God, Kim! Maybe this will work! Over the summer you realized you are a lesbian -- except you are in denial about it. You discuss when you can have sex with your Mommy and Daddy, and little hero Kimmie wants to lose it to a wanted criminal? You're either losing your mind or your life is totally screwed-up. I want to watch you suffer either way.”
Kim sighed, “Come on Bonnie. We're taking a little walk, you need to meet some people.”
They filled the trip from the dorm to Columbia to Kenya with almost polite small talk. College life was so new it was exciting to talk about, even if you couldn't stand the person with whom you were talking.”
As they walked in the door the barista called, “Kim, good to see you. Usual?”
“Sure! Bonnie, I'm having a mocha - extra chocolate. What will you have -- I'm buying.”
Bonnie studied the board while the barista worked on Kim's drink. “I'll go with the cinnamon chai.”
After paying, Kim led Bonnie to the cavernous back room.
“Hey Kim, need your booth?”
“No thanks, Tony, just here to show my new dorm mate the place.”
A young woman in a pink hat came over, “So, Kim, you and ‘Sheila’…?”
“We're back together Rina!” The woman squealed and threw her arms around Kim giving her a hug.
“Who's Sheila?” Bonnie whispered as Kim led her towards a crowd of people gathered around several tables grouped together.”
“It's what we call Shego when she's here.”
Bonnie's eyes went wide; this was getting creepy.
It was early enough that the Legal Lesbians were there in force, even a few that Kim hadn't met before. Kim introduced Bonnie to those she knew.
“Shake Bonnie, no one's contagious -- you don't get it by shaking hands.”
“Sorry,” Kim apologized to the group, “I knew she was straight, I didn't realize she was such a ‘phob.'”
“No problem, Kim. Hey, did you tell her I was straight?”
“She's too young for you, Andrew. She's just a freshman.”
“Hey, if it's wrong to discriminate on the basis of sexual preference age discrimination should be wrong too.”
Suzie laughed, “Hey, Andrew, do you ever ask yourself why lesbians are the only women who'll put up with your bullshit?”
Bonnie was almost shaking as Kim took her to a small booth in the front of C2K.
“They were all lesbians?”
“No, the men were men. Well, maybe not Andrew. We're just taking his word on that ‘cause no one wants to check. And some of the women are straight, some are gay, some may be bi-. Could you tell which was which by looking?”
“Well, some were sort of butch--”
“Not good enough. You can be into leather and Harleys and straight. You can be all pink chiffon and lace and gay. You can't tell by looking. And really, Bonnie, does it matter?”
Bonnie remained silent. “Hey, Tony,” Kim called as the pierced young man went by. “Will Mustapha be in tonight?”
“Tuesdays and Fridays are his nights, his wife is over at her mother's.”
“Thanks, I'll have to bring my roomie back to meet him.”
Bonnie kept a wider distance between herself and Kim on the walk back to the dorm. “You're not driving me out Kim. I will not go home. But there is a new rule -- you have to leave the room when I change clothes. You can go to the lounge or bathroom, but I don't want you watching me.”
“Do you get excited by every guy you see?”
“No, of course not.”
“Guess what, you don't excite me. Shego's the only one I want. So, can we set the room rules on significant others now?”
“Not now, not ever. You're screwing my life again Possible. First high school, now college.”