Monique rolled over and looked at the clock before answering the phone, 1:30. The call meant someone in the family had died or Kim was having some sort of crisis. If it was a wrong number some poor sucker was gonna wish he was never born…
“Hello,” she murmured drowsily.
“Hello, Monique?”
“She's asleep. Leave a name and I'll have me call you back in the morning.”
“Monique! Please, I need to talk. This is your fault.”
“Who is this?”
“This is Shego, can I--”
“Shego?”
“Yeah, I--”
Monique sighed and looked at the clock, doubting this call would be ending any time soon. “Hold on, I want to turn on a light and sit in a chair so I don't fall asleep on you. And this had better be important to wake me up in the middle of the night.”
Moving around the small room helped wake Monique up to the point she could actually listen. “Okay, Shego, this had better be good or you're going to think a whuppin’ from Kim is a vacation compared with what I'm going to do to you. Why did you call me, and why is it my fault?”
“You put the idea in my head. It's driving me crazy.”
“What idea? Girl, it's too late for you, you're already crazy.”
The black woman could hear Shego take a deep breath. “Do you remember saying you were afraid I was going to fall in love with Kim?”
“Yeah, and I remember you saying you had no interest in her.”
“Swear to God, I was telling you the truth… then.”
“Then?”
“Yeah, as in now I don't know what's going on. She's driving me crazy. She groped me tonight.”
“Groped you?”
“As in grabbed my boobs.”
“Whoa, seriously?”
“Yes, er… No… Look that's the problem. I don't know what she meant. We tease each other. But neither of us has ever done anything like that before. Is she playing some sort of head games with me? Is this some sort of weird trap? Is she a straight wanting do a little experimenting? I don't know if I could take that. I just wanted a friend, Monique, swear to God. Does she want me? Maybe I should stop seeing her…”
“Can we back up two spaces?” Monque requested. “I'm still having a little trouble with the statement Kim groped you.”
“You're having trouble with it? How do you think I feel?”
“Are we talking fight? Are we talking accident? What are you saying?”
“We kind of play around, teasing each other. The question isn't what was I saying. The question is what was Kim saying when she did that? I mean, I know what a guy is saying when he does that… You ever been groped?”
“Yeah, twice.”
“Same guy?”
“No, they both learned their lesson hard and fast. They'd both cross the street to stay away from me after that.”
“Okay, you know what a guy is saying. I either beat the crap out of him or go to bed with him. Except one guy I did both--”
“Shego!”
“Well, I went to bed with him first. Talk about lousy lovers. I'm getting off the subject. I know what it means when a guy does that. But I don't know how to respond to Kim doing it.”
“What do you think she meant?”
“Damn it, Monique, don't go Siggy Freud on me. I'm calling you because you're her friend. You have a better chance of understanding her than I do.”
“GF--”
“Wait, GF?”
“Girl friend. GF, she ain't never done nothin’ like that to me -- and I don't think she will. You're going to have to figure that out for yourself. The two of you were just sort of playing around, teasing each other?”
“Yeah.”
Monique sighed, “Take it as teasing that got out of hand.”
“It didn't get out of hand, they got into her hands,” Shego giggled.
Monique laughed with her. They chatted for another twenty minutes before Shego was calm enough to sleep.
It took Monique a few minutes to get back to sleep after the call. Like Shego she wanted very much to know what was going on. She even considered calling Kim, but didn't know any good way to bring up the question.
Several days later Will Du was shuttling Kim home from Global Justice headquarters when the Kimmunicator beeped.
“What's the sitch Wade?”
“Break-in at an electronics warehouse, looks like Shego and Drakken stealing magnetrons.”
“Magnetrons?”
“Used in radar, microwaves--”
“Okay Wade, I'm on it.”
After Kim wrote down the address Will spoke up, “Miss Possible, I'd like to back you up on this mission.”
“No, er, sure, thanks. I usually take on Shego, she's the bigger threat, and let Ron tackle Drakken.”
The hovercraft appeared about loaded as Kim and Will entered the storage area. Shego had a thick metal cylinder in her hand. Kim wasn't sure what a magnetron looked like, but if that cylinder was one it would power one huge microwave.
“The two of you will please stop, in the name of Global Justice I--”
“Knock it off, Will, they aren't going to listen.” Kim was already wrestling Shego for control of the cylinder.
“Shego! Get that thing and let's get out of here!” Drakken shouted.
“What do you think I've been doing?
“Give it, Possible!”
“So not! Why don't you try and make me, Shego?”
Shego grunted, “Hrmph,” Kim was too strong for her to wrench it away. Then Shego smiled, “Hey, Kimmie.”
“What?”
Shego leaned forward and quickly kissed Kim on the lips. Kim went red, losing her grip on the magnetron.
“Bye-bye Princess!”
Kim sat on the floor, staring at the departing hovercraft. “Sh-- She-- I can't believe-- Argh!”
Will Du appeared stunned, “Okaaay… I heard Shego's sneaky, but that was kinda new to me. I wonder what they call that style of martial arts?”
Drakken, equally amazed stared at Shego, “You're not planning to use that tactic again, are you?”
“Well…”
Shego smiled as the hovercraft sped back to the Lair. The feel of Kim's soft lips pressed against her own had felt wonderful. Then the pale woman experienced an emotion she had not felt in years -- guilt. It had been wrong to use Kim like that, to take advantage of her friendship… God, it had felt good… It was wrong, she owed Kim an apology. Shego's tongue traced itself over her lips and mouth imagining she could somehow find the delicate taste of Kim.
Author's Note: As if anyone reading this would have missed it. I substituted Will Du for Ron in a blatant steal from “Shego's Sneaky Trick” by Rina Cat, one of the first Kigo works I can remember seeing. What is the difference between theft and homage? Doesn't homage sound much nicer?
Monique's Club Banana training courses took most of her mornings and early afternoons. After class time the manager trainees went out to branch stores to try and apply their knowledge in practical ways. After a late dinner with three of the other people in her class she went back to her room and discovered fifteen voice mails on her phone. Fifteen nearly identical voicemails, the gist of which was, “Monique? Kim, call me.”
Kim was number three on Monique's speed dial.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Kim. What's the major crisis that had you leaving messages all afternoon?”
“Shego kissed me!”
“She what?”
“She kissed me!”
“I warned you she'd be trouble. So, why did you call me? Do you realize seeing her is a mistake? Are you just needing to talk with someone? What is going on in that head of yours?”
“I guess I needed someone to talk with.”
“Okay. What kind of a kiss was this? Aunt's kiss on the cheek? A fast peck on the lips? Back you into a corner send the tongue in to find your tonsils while running a hand up your shirt? Aunt is one, peck is three, tonsil hockey is ten. Where was this on the scale.”
Kim thought for a minute, “Four, I guess.”
“Hmm, hard to tell what she might have been thinking. What were you thinking?”
“I liked it.”
“You liked it?”
“Yeah.”
“Damn!” “Kim, I don't know what to tell you. You know I don't think this is a good idea.”
“So you're telling me to stop seeing her.”
“I can't tell you what to do. I'd have never gotten into the situation you're in. You're the one who's there. You have to make your own decisions. I'm your friend and I'll stick by you. But girl, are you thinking about what you're saying?”
“Yeah, and it scares me.”
“Good. That means your brain is still working. Be careful. You two have been enemies a long time. Don't rush into anything you could regret.”
“How about rushing into something I won't regret?”
“Kim!”
“Sorry.”
That Friday Kim beat Shego to C2K and was sitting with the Legals when the older woman entered. “Hello Pumpkin,” ‘Sheila’ called.
Kim walked over, an evil glint in her eye. Shego gave Kim a quick hug. “Look, Pumpkin, I'm sorry about the other day--”
“You're going to have to do better than that,” Kim whispered in Shego's ear.
“What do you mean?” Shego asked, confused by Kim's comment.
“I mean its payback time for your magnetron escape. I just told the Legals that we are lovers.” Then Kim kissed her, right on the lips.
Kim loved it when Shego blushed, she turned a darker shade of green. Kim had never seen Shego so green, but when the whistles and catcalls came over from the Legals, “More!” “Do it again!” Shego started to approach the shade of grass.
Shego seemed more quiet than usual as they sat in their booth at C2K that evening.
“What's wrong?” the redhead demanded.
“Oh, just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Uh, nothing important.” “You.” Kim was going to kill her… One way or another Kim was going to kill her. If this was some sort of trap Shego realized she was falling for it. If Kim was just playing with her mind or wanting to use her for an ‘experiment’ it was going to break her heart.
After her return to the Lair that evening she caught herself singing the second verse of Both Sides Now.
Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real. I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show, You leave ‘em laughing when you go.
And if you care, don't let them know. Don't give yourself away.
I've looked at love from both sides now, From give and take, and still somehow,
It's love's illusions I recall. I really don't know love, at all.
The line, “And if you care, don't let them know. Don't give yourself away,” sounded like good advice.” Maybe she could swallow her pride and return for a couple weeks of training in Japan. She needed discipline, and Kim confused her.
Shego was not the only person Kim confused. Betty Director sighed as she looked over the expense report from the accounting office. It wasn't the cost of the mission so much as some of the details they wanted verified. While it was not the job of Global Justice to rescue a rare white elephant from a tree the Thai government appreciated the rescue. The positive publicity far out-weighed the cost of the mission. But how had the elephant gotten into the tree in the first place? How could Kim have known what the mission required before ground assessment of the situation? It appeared that Kim was either psychic or normally traveled with a fourteen-foot scarf and a sack of jelly-babies, and Betty Director wasn't sure which option she found more disturbing.
Monday evening Kim took a call from Wade during supper.
“What the sitch?” she asked.
“Shego's back at the warehouse with the magnetrons. They must not have gotten all they wanted last time.”
“Thanks, Wade”
“Watch her lips Kim, I hear she's really dangerous.”
“Why did I tell you that story? Look, she just surprised me, that's all.”
Wade grinned, “Sure, Kim. And Barry Bonds didn't use steroids.”
Kim had mixed feelings as she drove over. She didn't want to fight Shego any more. She wasn't exactly sure what she was feeling, but the implied violence of their battles disturbed her. She sensed it had changed for Shego too. Some days it was like they were sparring more than actually fighting. They were still fiercely competitive and each desperately wanted to best the other and show her own skill. But Kim didn't want to hurt Shego in their battles, and sensed the other woman didn't want to hurt her.
The struggle at the magnetron warehouse lasted longer than any fight for months. Both Kim and Shego had been training hard all summer. From years of experience they anticipated each other's moves perfectly. It was almost choreographed, a dance, each synchronizing her movements with the other. Each loved the thrill, the adrenaline rush as they tried to force the other to bend to her will.
Emotions running high, Kim caught Shego by the wrist, but instead of a throw jerked her close. Kim's lips went to Shego's. Shego hesitated for a second, and then she surrendered to Kim's embrace. Her arms went around Kim's neck as Kim held her tightly. Their tongues began the initial timid exploration of each other's mouth.
Shego had never felt such a surge of emotion. She closed her eyes and drew Kim tighter, holding her with a sense of desperate longing. She was growing bolder with her tongue, demanding she be allowed to explore the warm confines of Kim's mouth while Kim's tongue wrestled with hers.
The blood was draining from Kim's brain, she wanted that kiss to last forever. Summoning the last of her will power Kim dropped Shego with a short, hard jab to the solar plexus. Shego collapsed on the floor, paler and greener than ever, struggling to catch her breath.
Kim dropped to her knees, “Are you okay? I'm sorry…”
“Don't… apologize… Kim,” Shego gasped. “I've never… enjoyed losing… so much.”
The police arrived within minutes to find Kim still holding Shego in her arms. “Are you all right, Kim?” an officer asked, “It looks like you're crying.”
“I'm afraid I hurt her.”
“Don't worry about this one,” a second officer assured her, “she's tough.”
Shego noticed a wistful look on Kim's face as she was handcuffed before being taken away. She wished she could say something to make Kim feel better, but feared anything she said would give the police a hint about what was happening, and she didn't want to hurt Kim's reputation.
Kim stayed up late, monitoring the police band. She wanted to hear that Shego had escaped. There was no news of a prisoner escape, but she consoled herself with the idea Shego was so good she might have escaped without the police being aware of it. She finally realized she had to turn in, but left the window open in case Shego needed a place of refuge. She couldn't sleep. Every sound was Shego entering her room to be with her.
Eventually Kim couldn't take it any more. She got out her phone and hit the speed dial. It kept ringing until an unhappy voice growled, “Hello?”
“Monique, I kissed Shego!”
“Say what?”
“I kissed her. I really kissed her.” Kim paused.
“Who is this? I'm hopin’ you're Mr. Barkin, but your voice sounds all funny like Kim's”
“That's not funny.”
“Neither is you callin’ me in the middle of the night. Is there more to the story?” Monique finally asked.
“And then I hit her and put her in jail,” Kim admitted.
“So you did to her what she did to you, used a kiss as a weapon. Like I said you two are sick and wrong.”
“The kiss was real, Monique. Okay, maybe it started out as a distraction. I don't even know anymore. All I know is that when we kissed it was like wow! All that stuff they say about kissing at once. It was incredible!”
“So you hit her.”
“God, I hate myself,” Kim groaned. “Yeah, I hit her. I was getting the most incredible kiss of my life and I hit the person I was kissing. I mean, when I was a kid and tried kissing someone and our braces locked I was so embarrassed I could have died. Now I'm so ashamed of myself I want to die.”
Monique sighed and got ready for another long phone call. She wished she could put the two women in time outs, in two different countries. They had no business looking at another woman the way they were. They were like trucks headed straight at each other. There was going to be a huge crash with people hurt, mostly Kim and Shego. Monique realized there was nothing she could do to stop the collision. The best she could do was get out of the way and try to help the survivors.
Monique was not the only person troubled by what was happening with Kim and Shego. On Tuesday morning Betty Director drummed her fingers on the desk as she stared at the report in front of her. Why had it taken so many weeks for this to work its way to the top? It made less sense than the elephant in the tree. She had vaguely hoped that some sort of sparks would go off this summer between Kim and Will Du. They would have made a wonderful couple, their strengths complimented each other perfectly. But the pictures in the file said it wasn't going to happen and raised questions if Kim Possible had any future in Global Justice.