Shego's skin couldn't crawl. Because Drakken hadn't said it could.
Even if her cheeks were capable of turning beet red, they couldn't. Again, because Drakken didn't say they could.
She couldn't even shut her eyes and pretend no one else was in the room watching.
Her hatred for Dr. Drakken was only exceeded at that moment by her intense humiliation, which stung Shego in a thousand different places. She was a prisoner in her own body, forced to watch as Drakken treated her like a trained circus animal.
The pity in Kim Possible's eyes only made it ten times worse.
“Mm, kill, that's a good one. Shego, stop that hopping and patting and rubbing! Now go over to the worktable and get that knife. The big one… stand next to Kim and put the knife to her throat.”
Shego watched the knife in her hand move toward Kim's throat with increasing horror. Damn it, she'd wished Kim Possible dead last night, but not like this!
“Tell me, Shego, deep down inside, how do you really feel about Kim Possible? How will it make you feel to cut her throat and watch her blood spill out?”
“How do you want me to feel?”
If Shego could have sewn her lips together, she would have gleefully, if only to stop those stupidly airheaded words from coming out of her mouth.
“I want you to tell the truth! How would you feel if you weren't under my control?”
Shego could have spoken for half an hour on the subject, but even with a command like that, she wasn't at complete liberty to speak. It was as if the chip was bypassing Shego, stealing her true emotions and transmitting them to her lips in simple words.
“I would be sad.”.
“How sad?”
“Like my heart would break. I would never be happy again.”
Actually, it would feel like tearing her own heart out and smashing it underfoot. It would be destroying the only person who Shego ever believed could understand her - even if Kim had failed her so utterly last night. Shego would scream for days if he made her do this. Not that anyone would hear her.
“Ooh, I like that one.”
With a titanic effort Shego willed her body to pivot and plant the knife in Drakken's throat, just for saying something like that. Her body gave no sign of responding, and she could only watch in desperation.
“Shego, I know you're in there.”
“Don't bother, Kim. This isn't television! You can't magically make Shego break my hold over her! But go ahead and try, if you want.”
“Don't blame yourself for this. I forgive you for what you're about to do to me. I just want your forgiveness for last night. This is all my fault, and if I could do it all over again, I would have told you that I feel the same way. But I was so scared. We - we always wondered who the stronger one was, who the braver one was. Shego, it's you. You're the brave one. Please forgive me.”
Shego was stunned. Kim - she what? She felt the same way? She couldn't mean that, could she? Goddamnit, why did she have to say that now? Was Kim trying to torture her? Yeah, thanks Kimmie, I wish we could do this all over again too, Shego snapped bitterly, but it was just a voice in her head.
“And now, Shego!”
This would be easier if she could go on hating Kim. But if Kim died breathing what-might-have-been on her lips, Shego would truly go insane.
“Cut her throat!”
Kim, you can't die, you never die, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE!!!
Red splashed her vision. She didn't blink.
After all, Drakken hadn't told her to blink.
“KIM!”
Shego bolted into a sitting position, her head almost striking Kim in the chin.
“Shego? It's all right, everything's all right,” Kim said soothingly from behind her, as she sat cross-legged on the floor. Shego had been sleeping, her head resting in Kim's lap.
Panting heavily, Shego turned and looked at Kim as she wiped her soaked brow. “You're alive?” she croaked.
“Once again,” Kim said.
“I didn't - cut you?”
“No, Shego,” Kim assured her. “You didn't cut me. You never got the chance.”
Shego looked down. “It was happening again,” she muttered. “But it was different. You died. And…”
“And what?”
“You didn't really say that you felt the same way. Did you?” Shego asked, turning her body so she was facing Kim. Her eyes seemed to expect Kim to say no, while pleading with her to say yes.
Kim sighed. “I did,” she said. “After you left last night, I realized that my behavior had nothing to do with my feelings for you, and everything to do with how scared my feelings for you made me.”
“Scared? But not of me?”
“Well, announcing that I'm attracted to another girl - it's kind of a life-altering decision,” Kim pointed out.
Shego shrugged. “That's the difference between you and me. I don't worry about consequences.”
“Maybe you should,” Kim replied before pausing. “And maybe I should worry a little less.”
Shego looked around. “Why are we still here?” she asked, realizing they were in Drakken's lab.
“We're waiting for the authorities to pick Drakken up,” Kim said, “and take him back to prison.”
She reached back self-consciously and fingered the chip on her neck gently. Feeling it there made her shudder. “I can't believe I've got this damn thing on my neck the rest of my life.”
“I think you should talk to Mom about that,” Kim suggested.
“For what?”
“Mom's a brain surgeon. She can take a look at it and see if it can be removed safely.”
“Fat chance! Ohhhhhh…”
Shego and Kim turned their heads and looked at Drakken with identical expressions of loathing. He was on his stomach, ankles and wrists hog-tied behind him. His face was almost purple from the beating he'd taken. “Does it hurt to speak, Drakkie?” Shego cooed.
He glared at them with his one eye that wasn't swollen shut. “No one can remove that chip,” he mumbled. “Die first.”
“Considering you've never been quite as smart as you think you are,” Kim shot back, “I wouldn't go making promises.”
“How about, I promise to get out of prison and have my revenge?”
“Your loser friends going to break you out again?” Shego asked.
“Eh, well, we haven't really spoken since that night,” Drakken admitted. “After letting you escape, we may have agreed that we could do better on our own.”
“Bad call,” Kim said.
“But I'll get out on my own,” he boasted. “And when I do - gaah! GAAH!”
Ruby had scampered over and stuck her tongue out at his face. Spotting her had brought back memories of the biting incident, and he attempted to curl into a protective ball. But he'd forgotten that his body was basically one big bruise now, and the attempted movement brought fresh waves of pain.
“So,” Shego said, dismissing Drakken, “was that why you didn't use the chip to change me? Because you had feelings for me?”
“Shego, I would never do such a thing to anybody, especially you,” Kim replied instantly. “Even if I wasn't attracted to you, I could never make you into someone you're not. You have no idea how much I respect the person you are. And I couldn't have respected myself if I had.” She looked at Shego. “You must have some serious trust issues if you thought a hero like me would do something like that.”
“Everyone I've ever met would have tried to change me,” Shego said quietly. “Nobody ever liked me the way I was. After last night I thought you were the same.”
“Well, I'm not. I'm a Possible.” Kim rested a comforting hand on top of Shego's.
Shego looked almost embarrassed. “I see. So what happens now?”
Before Kim could answer, the room was ablaze with activity as uniformed men poured in. Kim calmly stood up and pulled the startled Shego to her feet.
A slim figure that Kim recognized was the last to enter. “Kim Possible,” he said neutrally. “It's been years.”
“Agent Will Du,” Kim said, while a wary Shego watched, uncomfortable around so many agents of law enforcement. “Glad you could make it.”
“It's Agent-in-Charge Du now,” he corrected her. “I see you found Dr. Drakken.”
“Hey, watch where you're poking that thing!” Drakken shouted as two Global Justice agents slid a pole under his hands and feet. Each one took the pole by the end and lifted it up, so that Drakken resembled a pig being led to the spit for barbecuing. “You can't hold me forever!”
“Actually,” Agent Du said as he came over, “we can.”
“Huh?”
“Dr. Drew Lipsky, you've been designated a terrorist detainee under federal law,” Agent Du explained in an official tone of voice. “This permits us to hold you in Global Justice custody for questioning indefinitely.”
“In - indefinitely?”
“It means for the rest of your worthless life,” Shego told him.
“Quite,” Agent Du said as he gestured to the men. They carried him away.
“Shego, I'm sorry!” Drakken screamed as he was taken away. “I thought we still had a contract! You can have the five years’ back paaaaay!”
“So this is Shego,” Agent Du observed. “I've heard a great deal about you.”
She looked at him suspiciously. “I'm not under arrest, right?”
“Well, you're not wanted for anything. We could take you in for questioning too…”
Kim glared daggers at him as she edged slightly in front of Shego.
“But I see no reason to,” the agent added. “I've read recent reports, including the one my former boss prepared. Dr. Director has a message for you, by the way, Ms. Possible.”
“She does?”
“Yes.” He smiled faintly. “You've missed your last two classes, and she expects you at her house at 9 A.M. sharp tomorrow morning for an all-day seminar if you expect to catch up.”
Kim groaned.
“Will you need a ride?” he asked.
“No,” she sighed. “I have my own. Sappho was worried about you,” she told Shego.
“Sappho?” Agent Du said.
“Did she - say anything?” Shego asked.
“She's a spaceship a co-worker of my father invented,” Kim told Agent Du. “And she played a tape for me of some things you said to her.”
“A spaceship named Sappho?”
“So you know,” Shego realized. “About my parents.”
Kim nodded. “I had no idea,” she said. “I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that, and I want you to believe me when I say I could never think you're somehow unworthy of me.”
“Your father's co-worker named a spaceship after a lesbian poet?”
Shego and Kim glared at him. “So not the drama,” they said in unison.
Agent Du scratched the back of his head. “Hrm, yes. Perhaps you should go now, so we can finish searching the premises.”
“Come on, Shego,” Kim told her as Ruby scampered up her leg. “Let's find someplace private.”
Kim took her by the arm, and Shego smiled at the contact. “Private is good,” the brunette murmured.
“How about we break for lunch?” Dr. Director suggested.
Kim looked up from her notebook. “But it's only - “ She glanced at her watch. “It's twelve-thirty already?!”
“I thought college students paid more attention to the clock than their books,” Dr. Director observed dryly.
“Fascinating material, maybe,” Kim said. “Or good teaching.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Kim,” Dr. Director told her. “Maybe it's because you were keeping your mind off the fact that Shego has been at the hospital with your mother for the last four hours?”
Kim looked away. “I should call,” she said.
“Don't bother,” Dr. Director said. “If there were news, she would call. Your mother's a very busy woman.”
“You would know, wouldn't you?” Kim asked. “I heard you've been having lunch with her.”
“Yes, well, we bonded in the Acceptables’ base. And we're of the same age, and we're in similar professions, and we have a lot to talk about.” Dr. Director's cheeks turned slightly pink. “And I milk her for advice on raising a two-year-old boy,” she added reluctantly.
“Thomas has been quiet,” Kim observed.
“Sleeping,” Dr. Director said. “I should get him up after we eat.” The doorbell of Dr. Director's small, cluttered, yet comfortable Middleton home rang. “That must be lunch now.”
Kim was surprised. “You ordered?”
“You were too busy taking notes to notice, I gather,” Dr. Director replied as she went to the door. “Well?” she asked as she opened it.
“Has she been worried, Betty?”
Kim's eyes widened. Mom?
“She's kept herself extremely busy,” Dr. Director said quietly. “Of course she's been worried.”
Kim stood up and saw her mother following Dr. Director back in… and Shego hanging in the back. “Mom? Shego? What's going on?”
Shego turned around and adjusted her hair. There was a white pad taped to the back of her neck.
“It's gone?” Kim asked, staring at her mother.
“Drew was a very good scientist,” Mrs. Dr. Possible replied, “but he didn't know a whole lot about the human brain. An hour of surgery, some localized anesthesia - “ She put down the paper bags she was carrying and took from one of them a little plastic baggie. She held it up and shook the dismantled contents. “One mind control chip removed.”
Relief washed over Kim. “Thanks, Mom,” she said sincerely.
“No matter how busy my schedule might be,” her mother said, “I can always make time for my daughter. Or the people she cares about,” she added, glancing at Shego, who let her hair fall back and self-consciously looked away. “Now, much as I love having lunch with my daughter, why don't you and Shego eat on the front porch? I haven't seen Tommy in a couple weeks.”
“He's been very fussy lately,” Dr. Director murmured.
Before Kim could even agree, Shego grabbed her lunch out of the bag and darted outside.
“Is something wrong?” Kim asked, concerned.
“No. It's just that Shego was forced to have conversations with me,” her mother said. “She's not big on sitting and talking, I gather.”
“She prefers fighting and bantering,” Kim admitted as she looked through the bag and found a favorite of hers with her name on it.
“She seems to prefer your company most of all,” Mrs. Dr. Possible pointed out. “I think she'll be a very good friend to you, Kim.”
Kim smiled nervously before leaving.
When she went outside, she found Shego indifferently eating her lunch while sitting on the roof of her mother's car. “I don't think you're supposed to sit up there,” Kim said.
“I seem to recall someone ordering me to go through life not caring what other people thought,” Shego said.
“The chip's gone, Shego.”
“Fortunately, I was like that before.” She hopped down, brushed past Kim, and sat on the bench on Dr. Director's front porch.
Kim sat next to her. “How are you feeling?”
“A little numb is all. Apparently it wasn't the best-designed chip in the world. Your mother said that even a cold shower could have affected it.” She gave a little toss of the head. “At least I slept well. Better than the night before.”
“Me too,” Kim said. They'd shared the guest room in Kim's house last night. Shego had generally avoided her family, content to be alone or wherever Kim was, but Kim thought it was progress that Shego had even come in.
“Progress,” she murmured.
“What?” Shego asked.
“Sorry,” Kim said, not having meant to say it out loud.
“You know,” Shego continued, grinning, “last night was oddly platonic, considering what our feelings are for each other.”
Kim smiled. They'd shared the bed, much as they had in Kim's apartment in California. And for all their recent talking, it had been a similar experience. Apparently neither woman was thinking much beyond what to do about their mutual attraction just yet.
“What comes next?” Shego added.
“Well, I think we have to start tracking the others down - Fiske, Dementor, Killagan, Junior, and Amy. Since they've evidently gone their separate ways again, we'll have to track them down one by one…”
“I mean about us,” Shego said.
“Oh.”
Kim's life was as complicated as it had been when she left California. Her classes were coming along fine, and Drakken was out of their hair. But she still didn't know what she was going to do about her education or her career. She didn't know if she was going to say in Middleton, go back to California, or try someplace else. Monique was more of a crimefighter now than ever, with her special tunnels and secret doors. Ron was practically waiting on her decision before deciding where he would transfer.
And her relationship with Shego had taken a turn for the better, but she had no idea what road she was on. How would her parents take it? Or Ron?
“Let's not overcomplicate things,” Kim said. “Why don't we just try - I don't know, a date? Just the two of us?”
“Sitting and talking,” Shego grumped.
“Sounds like what Mom said,” Kim told her.
“Yeah, well - maybe your mother isn't as bad as I figured,” Shego muttered.
Kim brightened. If Shego could confess something like that, then didn't they have a real chance? “So, a date then?”
Shego played with her salad. “Don't know why I'm so nervous,” she said. “I started this.”
“Well, I've responded. Life is always a competition with us, Shego. Why don't you call and raise?”
Fire danced in Shego's eyes. “Is that a dare? Because you know, you did say I was the brave one.”
“Prove it.”
“Tomorrow night. Seven o'clock… a movie, something with lots of explosions.”
Kim grinned. “Only you and I would call that a date movie.”
After a moment, Shego smiled back.
The End. (To be continued?)
Author's Note - Thanks to all my faithful fans, especially those of you I wrote to. If everyone wants a follow-up, then let your voices be heard in support, and you could see a story like this…
No Living in the Past
As if Kim wasn't having enough problems reconciling her personal relationships, when Professor Dementor's trail leads Kim, Ron, and Shego to Boston, they encounter the LAST two people Kim wanted to see.