“I think maybe you've gotten a few wires crossed, Shego,” Kim told her. “Because the Acceptable Family is so not the bad guys, and you are so not a hero. It's the other way around, okay?”
“You're right, I'm no hero,” Shego said, smiling sardonically. “But I also don't have a place in the Acceptables’ world. I like this world the way it is - ripe for the taking. By me.”
“Okay, so you haven't forgotten who you are,” Kim replied, rolling her eyes. “But it's not my problem if the Acceptables are on your tail for something you did. Why don't you try Doctor Drakken instead?”
Shego looked at Kim like she was the dumbest person on the planet. “If someone wanted to win, who would you tell them to go to - you, or Doctor D?”
Kim admitted she had a point. “Even so, he's a villain, just like you. You know I'm not going to help you get away with whatever crime you committed.”
“My crime is knowing what the Acceptables really are,” Shego said stubbornly.
“This could take all night,” Kim muttered.
The Acceptable Family had arrived on the scene during the summer vacation prior to Kim's senior year of high school. The first time, they'd gotten in Kim's way, allowing Monkeyfist to escape. But the next few times after that, they weren't in Kim's way because she was in theirs. Kim would arrive at the villain's lair and find them tied up on the floor, doomsday devices destroyed and stolen property already on their way back to the owners.
The Acceptables had been polite to Kim. They had offered her due respect for her abilities, but they obviously believed they were better at it, and eventually Team Possible had to conclude the Acceptables were right. She'd graciously stepped aside and found plenty of other outlets for her time. Kim suspected that at heart her parents were quite glad not to see her risking her life any longer.
The Acceptable Family could risk their lives from now on - Mr. and Mrs. Acceptable, and their three children John, Don, and Yvonne. The kids had been between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, but they attended private school, not the public high school, so Kim only met them in the field. The parents were stern, strict, and extremely efficient. The children had been nice enough, although a little too intense for Kim's tastes. At least the sense of humor gene that skipped their parents appeared in them. They always seemed to find their enemies to be an amusing sort of diversion.
For the Acceptables, the villains had been little more than a game. The family had trained in fighting and acrobatics for years, and they operated as a well-oiled machine in combat. Undoubtedly that was why Shego had vanished. She must have found the times pretty lean when it was always four or five-to-one. Now the children were in their late teens, and probably even stronger fighters. And as much of a genius Wade was with computers and devices, Mrs. Acceptable and her son Don turned out to be even better.
It had been a bitter few days for Kim, but she quickly accepted the fact that they were better and faster than Team Possible. To hold on to her status as a hero would only cause trouble. The world had been better off with the Acceptable Family, which was why Kim took Shego's words with several grains of salt.
“I thought you were so tough all those times I fought you,” Shego sneered. “I didn't expect you to be scared off so easily by the Acceptable Family.”
“I wasn't scared off,” Kim shot back. “I stepped aside.”
“More like pushed over,” Shego said.
“If this is your idea of convincing me…”
Shego grimaced. “Too easy just bantering with you,” she mumbled. “Look, if you're wondering where I've been all these years, I've been in prison.”
“In prison? Where?”
“I was a personal guest at the Acceptable abode for some time,” Shego drawled with an upper-class inflection. “Although between us, their hospitality sucks.”
Kim laughed. “Wait, so you're telling me the Acceptables kept you prisoner? Where, in their basement?”
“You've been out of the loop too long, Kimmie. I don't think they even live in that old house of theirs. They've got a state-of-the-art facility outside of Middleton. Living quarters, nursery, training rooms, special prototype computers you can't find anywhere else - holding cells. It's a nice operation,” Shego conceded reluctantly. “I got a good look from the inside. Drakken never had anything so good.”
“I haven't been out of the loop, Shego,” Kim retorted. “And I've never heard a word about some new Acceptable base.”
“I guess it's a secret,” Shego said, shrugging. “It's not like I've been in touch with the outside world lately. I only escaped a week ago.”
“Even if it was true,” Kim replied, “why you? You were just Drakken's sidekick. Why is Drakken in a regular prison, and not you?”
“How many times has Drakken escaped from prison because of me?” Shego asked rhetorically. “And how many times has he escaped without me?”
Kim didn't answer.
“You see? The Acceptables got tired of the government always allowing Drakken to escape, always letting him and me try a new scheme to take over the world,” Shego explained. “They decided that if the police couldn't keep me behind bars, they'd handle it themselves. And if I was out of the way, Drakken would never bother them again. I guess they were right.”
Kim folded her arms. “To be honest, Shego, it doesn't matter to me whether you're in a regular prison or an Acceptable one, just as long as what you described happened. No more Shego, no more Drakken, world a safer place.”
“Just like no more Señor Senior Junior, no more Señor Senior Senior, world a safer place,” Shego muttered.
“What did you just say?”
“Oh, come on, Possible. You think I was the only person they built special holding cells for?” Shego asked sarcastically. “I mean, I'd like to say I was the only one, it makes me unique. No, they had Junior locked up too.”
Kim just stared. “But he's a lightweight! Why not lock up Frugal Lucre while they're at it? Why grab the son and not the father?”
“What's the point of taking over the world if Senior doesn't have Junior to leave it to?” Shego asked quietly. “He doesn't have too many years left. The Acceptable Family captured his son, put him some place that not even the megabillionaire can rescue him from, and told Pops that if he continued trying to conquer the world, Junior would…”
“Would what?” Kim asked, feeling the hairs stand up on the back of her neck.
Shego flashed the claws on her left hand and drew them menacingly across her throat. “Señor Senior the First would become Senior the First and Last,” she added.
Kim shook her head vigorously. “Sorry, Shego, not buying it. The Acceptable Family are heroes, and they wouldn't threaten to kill someone.”
“Why don't you ask them?”
“Huh?”
“They'll find me sooner or later,” Shego said. “They probably picked up my trail by now, and they're going to know you're one of the only people I know in this part of the country. They'll drop by any day now looking for me. You could ask them then.”
“Or I could call them and tell them you're here,” Kim replied.
Shego had never shown the least bit of fear when fighting Kim, but the fright that flashed in Shego's eyes and quickly disappeared startled Kim.
“I'll get away,” Shego said, licking her lips.
“I may have hung up my jet pack,” Kim answered, “but I'm still as good a fighter as I was in high school. Whereas you look like a stiff breeze could knock you over, Shego. If I want you to stay, you'll stay.”
Shego lapsed into silence.
“And even if I believe you when you say you and Junior were being held prisoner by the Acceptables,” Kim continued, “I don't see why you think the world has to be saved from them.”
“Junior's not a prisoner, he's a hostage. And because the Acceptables aren't heroes,” Shego said.
“They're fighting evil!”
“No, they're just eliminating the competition,” Shego told her. “No other villains to share the world with, and no heroes - like you - to stop them. Today they're the Acceptable Family. Tomorrow the six of them could be the first Acceptable Dynasty.”
Kim looked at Shego doubtfully. What she was describing sounded somewhat plausible, if it wasn't so completely unbelievable, especially coming from someone like Shego. Then she blinked. “Six?”
“Didn't you know? Mrs. Acceptable has a baby boy now, Tom R. Acceptable,” Shego said. “That's all you care about? Out of everything I just said, you act like the most important thing is whether or not they got another visit from the stork?!” She looked disgusted. “I never expected you to turn into a civilian.”
“Then what were you expecting?” Kim asked. “Me to swallow everything you've told me? You couldn't beat them on your own, so you think I'll help you if I think they're bad. It sounds like you're the one trying to remove the competition, not them.”
“If you're not going to do anything,” Shego said desperately, “then do nothing. Let me stay here tonight, Kim. I haven't slept more than two hours a night since I escaped. I still can't believe I even made it. I tried to escape six times the first year I was their prisoner, and they caught me every time before I made it outside. I had to make like a good little slave for the last couple years before they relaxed enough for me to break out.” She glanced fearfully at the window. “Give me the rest of the night, and I'll leave in the morning.”
“I don't know, Shego,” Kim replied doubtfully.
“You just said I'm in no shape to beat a good wind,” Shego reminded her. “How much of a danger do you think I am? I don't even have my gloves.”
“What happened to them?”
“What do you think? The Acceptables have them. They wanted to study the technology.”
Kim knelt by the bed and said nothing for a minute. “Well, the window's already broken,” she finally said. “So I guess there's no harm in you staying - if you promise not to try anything while I'm asleep.”
Shego exhaled. “I promise I won't bite the hand that feeds.”
“I hope you're not expecting breakfast now too.”
“So not.”
Kim eyed her suspiciously. “Well, all right. You'll have to help me move the bed and the dresser, though.”
Shego's strength wasn't much, but it was enough for Kim to get her dresser in front of the broken window. Then Kim got blankets and spread them out on the floor for her to sleep on. “Take that sweater off before you lie back down,” Kim added. “I don't need it dirtying my sheets.”
The pale-skinned brunette shrugged and pulled it off, tossing it on the floor. She only had a black sports bra underneath, and the sight of her ribs clearly outlined through her skin made Kim wonder if perhaps she should get Shego breakfast in the morning after all. “I couldn't find anything from Club Banana,” Shego mumbled as she sat on the bed.
“We're the same height,” Kim replied, wondering why she was saying this. “You can take something from my closet in the morning.”
“Beggars can't be choosers,” Shego said grumpily.
“And they don't bite the hand that feeds either,” Kim reminded her.
“I suppose you want a thank you,” Shego spat.
Kim sighed. “No big,” she said before lying down.
She expected falling asleep to be twice as hard this time, especially with concerns about having a woman who was once her mortal enemy sharing the room. But Kim fell asleep almost instantly.
She didn't hear what sounded suspiciously like a “thank you” come from the bed a few minutes later.
“Wade, what's the sitch?” Kim Possible asked as she received the incoming transmission just as she was sitting down in the cafeteria. She waved at a couple other girls who had also come directly from practice before staring intently at her Kimmunicator.
“Not much,” Wade replied. He'd taken nothing but computer courses and graduated in less than two years, allowing him to retreat to his computer-filled lab once more. “Shego was last reported committing a break-in about four years ago. The Acceptable Family was later commended for its role in thwarting the robbery, but no mention is made of Shego's whereabouts, or even whether she was apprehended or not. That's the last I could find on her. If she was imprisoned at any penal institution or mental hospital in the world, I'd have found it by now.”
“So it's still possible she's telling the truth,” Kim said, shaking her head. Honestly, she'd been hoping for proof that Shego was lying. It would make her life easier.
Since when had she wanted life to be easy? Maybe Shego was right. Maybe she was a civilian.
“Where is she now?” Wade asked.
“Still in my room,” Kim replied. “I told her I'd bring food back before she left. I've seen stray dogs looking better than her, Wade. I can't throw her out like that.”
“If you say so,” Wade said. “But I've never unearthed any hints that the Acceptables aren't on the straight and narrow. They're certainly wealthy, considering the parents are full-time crime fighters, but that doesn't mean anything other than it allowed them to find new digs.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“They sold their old house in Middleton,” Wade told her. “And I can't find any records that say where they live now. I guess in their line of work, it's sensible to conclude that you're better off if no one knows where you live.”
“I guess,” Kim agreed, but she considered this new tidbit that, if not exactly proving what Shego had said, certainly made it sound slightly less crazy. “You haven't told Ron, right?”
“You said not to. But he's got almost as much experience with Shego as you. Shouldn't he be…”
“As I live and breathe, is that Kim Possible?”
Kim's head snapped up and, inexplicably, she felt her stomach drop. “Let me call you back, Wade,” she said before turning the transmitter off. “What are you guys doing here?”
John Acceptable sat across from her while his older brother Don looked on. “We're doing a little research, a little looking around. Colleges are good for that kind of thing, aren't they? They're chock full of information.”
The years had suited John better than Don. John had sat down with fluid grace that practically emanated from his body. His blond hair dangled fashionably on his forehead. Girls were crazy about his looks, and he was known to return the favor. He was crazy about his looks too.
Don only had two looks - the “intense bad cop” look and the “staring at a computer screen until I pop a blood vessel in my eye” look. His poor complexion and eyeglasses, while typical of brilliant computer nerds like himself, couldn't hide his muscular frame, however. He could pound the keyboard and the pavement with equal ease.
“You're both out of high school,” Kim observed. “Why aren't you at colleges of your own?”
“We don't really have time for college,” Don replied. “Too busy saving the world. You remember how that is, right?”
“It was a long time ago, big brother,” John pointed out.
“I still remember,” Kim said irritably. “And I didn't have a problem fitting high school and cheerleading in, either. Well, not usually.”
“Yeah, but our parents can teach us anything we need to know,” John responded. “They always have.”
“Then why the research?” Kim asked, smiling now.
He shrugged. “Might as well come clean with you, Kim. We always were on the same side after all,” he said, returning her smile. “We have reason to believe an old friend of yours is on this very campus. I realize it's been years…”
“Remember Shego?” Don asked bluntly, cutting his brother off.
“Why?” Kim asked.
“She escaped from a government military installation,” Don said, taking over the conversation from his brother now that it had moved on from chatting to facts. “Top-secret, very hush hush. Apparently Shego isn't exactly in her right mind compared to when you knew her. They've asked us to find her. Her trail led us west, and since you two have a history…”
“We weren't friends, we were bitter enemies,” Kim reminded them, even as she rapidly digested Don's remarks. Wade hadn't found any records of her incarceration, but there had to be one or two branches of the government that not even Wade could break into. Maybe Shego had gotten mixed up in a matter of national security? “Why would she come to me?”
Better yet, why hadn't she already told them where Shego was? Was it perhaps because something in her brain kept nagging at her, telling her she wasn't getting the whole story?
“Beats us,” John said before Don could respond. “We're just running down all possible leads. Besides, we wanted to know what you've been up to.”
“Well, I don't know where she is,” Kim told them. “But I wouldn't be surprised if you tracked her down any day now. She's just one person, not six like your family.”
“I think Tommy is too little to get a crack at Shego just yet,” John said, grinning. “Real soon, though.”
Shego had been right about the new baby, Kim realized, and either John and Don hadn't caught Kim's slip, or…
“You know what, I'm not hungry after all,” she told them, “and I have a test I want to cram for back at my dorm room. But hey, it was great seeing you two again, and be sure to tell your parents and Yvonne that I said hey.”
“Come on, we just got here,” John said, looking injured. “Can't we catch up for a few minutes, reminisce? You were the inspiration for our whole family, Kim.”
Kim didn't like his smile today. It seemed insincere and somehow sinister, especially when she'd mentioned their sister. Of course, maybe it was just her. Maybe her impression was colored by her growing suspicion that these two were stalling her while something happened elsewhere. “Glad I could be a - role model for your family, John,” she said hurriedly as she stood up. “But you know, there's always e-mail, so I hope you catch Shego before she hurts someone, I really do.”
She didn't even hear what the Acceptable brothers said to her as she took her backpack and walked briskly from the cafeteria toward her dorm room.
Shego had really done a number on her, Kim told herself as she rushed back to her dormitory. She'd spun this elaborate, completely absurd conspiracy theory, and now she was hiding a convicted criminal from the most successful crimefighter team in history.
She could hear Ron's voice in her head. “They're cool and all,” Ron had said years ago, “but no one will ever be as good as Team Possible.”
Kim took the stairs two at a time to the third floor, opened the stairwell door, and entered the corridor.
Then she froze.
Shego was arched painfully backwards, swaying on her heels, as someone held her from behind. A face swathed in blonde curls appeared at Shego's shoulder. “Kim Possible,” Yvonne Acceptable purred. “Sorry, I messed your room up a little. But thanks for leading us to her.”
“You bitch!” Shego shouted helplessly. “You said you wouldn't!”
“She kept her promise, sort of,” John Acceptable said as he and his brother appeared behind Kim.
Kim backed against the wall so she could keep an eye on all three Acceptables equally. “What are you talking about?”
Don held up a device in his hand. “Your friend Wade should really upgrade his systems. We had his computers under surveillance, and when you contacted him earlier this morning, we got here as soon as we could.”
“You hacked into my Kimmunicator?” Kim asked, outraged.
“It's a piece of junk, Possible,” Don sneered. “It's about ten upgrades behind the times.”
“Stay out of our way, Kim,” John warned her. “We never imagined it would come to this, Shego,” John then told the weakly struggling woman, as Yvonne held her all the more tightly. “You'd been such a good little girl these past couple years. My father was sure you were broken.”
“If I survived Kim Possible all that time,” Shego snarled at him, “then I can certainly survive that torture chamber you call a home.”
“Maybe so, but there's one thing even you can't survive, Shego,” John told her.
“What?”
John's hand moved so quickly that Kim never even saw where the gun came from.
“Death,” he said, his smile lighting up his face.
To be continued…