Ron stood next to the opened doors leading into the nave of the church and felt incredibly bored. Kim had callously volunteered him for handing out the programs and asking the same question over and over and over again. By now he had achieved that almost Zen-like state where his hands moved and his mouth asked without his brain having anything at all to do with anything.
“Bride or… Señor Senior Senior?“
Señor Senior Senior gratefully took a program. “And a good day to you too, Mr… Mr…”
“Stoppable,” said Ron.
“Stoppable,” said Señor Senior Senior.
“What are you doing here?”
“Well, when I heard that my greatest foe was getting married, I felt the need to attend and pay my respects.”
“Really?” said Ron. “Well, it just so happens you are not… uhm…”
“I am not excluded from the guest list?” said Señor Senior Senior pleasantly.
“Uhm… no,” said Ron. “So, ‘bride', I take it?”
“But of course,” said Señor Senior Senior. “Come, Junior.”
“In a minute father,” said Señor Senior Junior. “I am talking to this ghastly disfigured person.”
“I am not disfigured,” said Dr. Drakken testily. “I merely have a skin condition.”
“You are blue,” Señor Senior Junior pointed out.
“And happy with it. Now just take the program and get inside.”
“Fine,” said Señor Senior Junior. “No need to get all snippy.”
“Useless pretty boy,” Dr. Drakken grumbled. “What does he know about villainy?”
“A lot more than you I'd wager,” said Professor Dementor.
“Oh don't tell me she invited you as well,” Dr. Drakken moaned.
“I have the invite right here, see?”
Dr. Drakken glared at the gold letters on the creamy white paper, willing them to disappear. After several minutes of the letters staying right where they were, he gave in.
“Bride or…”
“I think you know the answer to that, don't you?” said Professor Dementor, briskly taking a program out of Drakken's hand and striding into the church.
“Once my fiendish plan hatches, I'll make sure you're the first to die,” Dr. Drakken muttered defiantly at Dementor's back.
“I am the older brother, I shall enter first.”
“I can't believe you just keep on insisting on that petty title!”
“It's not petty at all!”
Ron and Dr. Drakken both looked at the bickering pair slowly making their way towards the door.
“Bride,” Dr. Director barked at Ron.
“Bride,” Gemini barked at Dr. Drakken.
Wordlessly, Ron and Dr. Drakken gave them their programs.
“Ha. As you can see, I entered the church first,” said Dr. Director. “Once again, you are too slow for me.”
“It was but a second,” said Gemini. “A second is nothing compared to two minutes.”
“Who invited them?” Dr. Drakken whispered to Ron.
“What? KP's always been close to Dr. Director.”
“Fair enough,” said Dr. Drakken. “But Gemini?”
“Well, a woman's mind is a strange and mysterious thing and all that.”
“Very true,” said Dr. Drakken.
It was at that point that Ron and Dr. Drakken both noticed that they were being civil to each other. They quickly went back to their own ends of the door and pointedly ignored each other like they used to.
The doors opened to the sound of music. Kim strode slowly into the chair, her white dress glittering and sparkling, but its splendour nevertheless dwarfed by the glow apparently coming from Kim herself.
“You look great, honey,” Dr. Possible said quietly, taking her arm.
Kim smiled. “Thanks, dad.”
“Now are you really sure about this?”
“Dad.”
“Sweetie, she is an internationally wanted criminal.”
“We went over this,” Kim whispered. “She's reformed. For me.”
“Well, if she hurts my Kimmie, she'll have to answer to me.”
“Thanks, dad.”
Now walking down the aisle, Kim turned her eyes towards Shego waiting at the altar. Surprisingly, she too was in white. At first Kim had expected her to wear a suit, or something in black and green, perhaps. But there she was, in a white dress as magnificent as her own.
But as she neared the altar, Kim lost all interest in the way Shego was dressed.
A hushed, quiet air descended the church as Kim went to stand next to Shego. Only a small cough broke it, when the priest opened his Bible.
“Dearly beloved…”
Kim, who had totally failed to notice anyone other than Shego up until now, looked up with surprise. “Monkey Fist?” she whispered.
“Hey, he's cheap and willing,” Shego whispered.
“But he's still a villain.”
“And also an officialy sanctioned priest ever since I took that course in prison,” Monkey Fist said quietly. “So if we may continue.”
Monkey Fist started on his speech again, and his voice slowly faded away from the world. As did the rest of the world. Everything did. It always had. Ever since back in the day when they'd fought on almost weekly basis and Kim had managed to delude herself into thinking that strange, powerful feeling inside of her was hate the world had faded whenever Shego was near. There were some words that needed to be said, for legal reasons, as well as a few autographs placed. A very, very small part of Kim's mind that was still marginally attached to that bit of the world that wasn't Shego did them without the rest of Kim noticing it.
But a few simple words quickly brought the world back.
“Do you, Kimberly Ann Possible, take… err… Shego to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do,” said Kim, slipping the simple golden ring with its single little emerald around Shego's finger.
“And do you, Shego, take Kimberly Ann Possible to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do,” said Shego, putting a simple golden ring with its single little onyx around Kim's finger.
“Then by the-”
“Haha!” shouted Dr. Drakken, jumping up from the pews. “At last, my plan is completed. After carefully switching the real rings with my own mind-control devices, the two most powerful women in the world are under my command!” He turned around and faced the assembly. “Now you, all of you,will face my wrath.”
“Yeah, I don't think so,” said Shego.
“What?” said Dr. Drakken.
“These aren't mind-control rings,” said Kim.
Dr. Drakken slumped and tried to look innocent. “They're… not?”
“Of course not, ye dafty!” shouted Duff Killigan from somewhere in the back. “I took your pathetic fakes and switched them with ma own rings with their cleverly disguised explodin’ golfballs!”
“Sorry, but this is a real emerald,” said Shego.
“And this is genuine onyx,” said Kim.
“Wha’? But…”
“You see, we anticipated several of these little schemes,” said Dr. Director smugly. “So we gave Kim's family a pair of fakes, while the real rings were safely kept inside Global Justice Headquarters under twenty-four hours surveillance.”
“Oh dear,” said Dr. Drakken.
“Yeah,” growled Shego. “And we're not done talking about this. When I get back from our honeymoon, you're going to be very sorry indeed.”
“The same goes for you, Killigan,” Kim added.
“Yes, great, splendid,” said Monkey Fist. “Now, if I may finish.” He cleared his throat theatrically and all eyes returned to him. “By the power vested in me by the Barkin Penitentiary Institution I now declare you wife and wife. You may… kiss.”
It's never easy kissing someone in public, unless you happen to be into that kind of thing. But any awkwardness that might have been there melted away when Kim and Shego's lips met.
Kim didn't remember much after that. She was vaguely aware of rice being thrown, as well as a few more lethal little things that were skillfully scooped out of the air by Rufus and his butterfly net.
Ron whistled. “Wow, classy place.”
“Thank you.”
Ron jumped and turned around only to see Señor Senior Senior leaning amicably on his cane.
“What, you own this joint?”
“Of course,” said Señor Senior Senior. “I own a great many hotels, in fact. I was a most succesful businessman, after all.”
“So you must've have loved it when Kim had to pay through the nose for this,” Ron said.
“You wound me,” said Señor Senior Senior. “I have a great respect for Mi- for Mrs. Possible. I insisted I would host her reception, free of charge. I was glad when she accepted my offer.”
“I'm sure it was an offer she couldn't refuse,” said Ron sourly.
Señor Senior Senior slapped Ron on the back. “Come now, none of that. This should be a time for celebrating. Ah, and it would seem both our greatest foes are about to cut the cake. Let us join them, hmm?”
The imminent prospect of cake muted any further objections Ron might have had.
The huge, multi-tiered cake was wheeled in front of the happy couple, who stood together with a single knife at the ready. But when the blade was about to slice down in the defenseless confectionery, Dr. Director stepped forward.
“Halt,” she said. “This will only take a second.”
Several GJ operatives cleverly disguised as waiters approached the cake and a few more lowered themselves from the ceiling on ropes.
“Hey now,” said Professor Dementor. “I was told there would be no interference by the law.”
“I was also told you types would all behave,” said Dr. Director. “Life's full of little disappointments, isn't it?”
“Dr. Director, I must inform you, if any of your agents broke any windows or otherwise harmed my property or my personell in order to break in, I will present you with the bill,” said Señor Senior Senior.
“I have no doubt it would be steep.”
“Very steep,” said Señor Senior Senior. “I give special rates to government officials, after all.”
“Hmm,” said Dr. Director. “Well?” she added, turning to the agents.
One of the waiters saluted. “All clear. No explosives or toxins detected.”
Dr. Director nodded. “Alright then. Go ahead.”
“Gee, you're too kind,” said Shego.
The knife was no properly lowered and the moment it touched the cake, it exploded. By the time everyone had ducked for cover or wiped cake out of their eyes, the first thing everyone heard was DNAmy's voice.
“Cuddles! Have you been hiding in other people's food again?”
The pig-squirrel hybrid barked happily.
“Bad Cuddles,” said DNAmy, picking up her pet. “You've been very mean to those two meanies. Sorry about that.”
“No big,” said Kim uncertainly.
“Whatever,” said Shego. “Let's just start handing out the cake now, hmm?”
Everyone took something to eat and settled down, chattering away to whoever happened to be sitting next to them. Eventually, Dr. Drakken stood up and tapped his glass.
“Gentlemen! And ladies too, of course, I would like to say a few words.”
“No you don't,” said Shego.
“But… but… you asked me to,” Dr. Drakken whined.
“Yeah, before you tried to mind-control me. Again.”
“But I have this whole magnificent speech prepared,” said Dr. Drakken. “Singing my, I mean your, praises, wishing you and your new wife the best of luck and everything.”
“Too bad,” said Shego.
Dr. Drakken sat down, pouting. “I never have any fun,” he muttered darkly.
“Finally,” Shego breathed, closing the doors to the bridal suite behind her. “Whoever thought up the idea that people should throw a party well into the night on the day of their marriage should be shot.”
“But here we are,” said Kim, sitting down on the bed. “All alone.”
“Together,” said Shego.
“Together,” Kim agreed.
Smiling, Shego reached to the small of her back and found what she was looking for. The dress fell down onto the ground.
“Practical,” Kim remarked, trying, and failing, not to openly look at Shego's body.
“I was hoping you could appreciate it,” said Shego.
Shego stepped out of her shoes and walked slowly towards the bed, discarding her gloves and the few little, lacy remnants of her clothes. Kim was squirming by the time Shego was standing in front of her. The former vilainness smiled wickedly and raised a hand, which suddenly flared with green fire.
“I don't suppose your dress is as practical?”
“Not really,” said Kim.
Shego's hand turned into a claw and with a single slash sent Kim's dress flying to the other end of the room.
She whistled. “Well now, looks like someone was impatient.”
Kim leaned back, smiling. “I've waited far too long for you already.”
Shego kneeled onto the bed, loomed over Kim for a moment, and then leaned forward to kiss her wife.
“I love you.”