Yes, indeed. It was a familiar sight. Kim Possible was juuuuust about to triumph against evil, and then the teen heroine's silly sidekick had screwed up (this time, it involved shooting himself in the foot with a laser pistol, no less.), and in turn, Kim Possible was captured by her two quite evil rivals, Dr. Drakken & Shego. Why it always happened to be Shego that tied her up was anyone's guess. In fact, this little fact really irked her to no end. So, as the henchwoman was applying the bonds…
“Why do you always do this?”, Kim angrily asked.
“Why do you think, Princess?”, Shego retorted.
Grrr… There was another thing. All the pet names! Not only was it unsettling, but it was annoying as well.
“No… I mean, why does it always have to be ropes?”, Kim asked. “Can't it ever be something different?”
Again, the green-clad henchwoman seemed uninterested in the girl wanting to know about the standard procedures for trapping teen heroes.
“Why do you think, Princess?”, she repeated simply.
There it was again! That arrogant… Kim struggled against the bonds. With a sharp growl, she began to let loose a tirade of epic proportions.
“Grrrr… I know what it is. You like tying me up, don't you? You love that I'm stuck up here, don't you? You love that your rival that kicks your butt all the time is tied to a wall like some sort of trophy. I bet you get off of this, don't you?”, the redhead spat accusingly. “I bet you just want to stand there all day and stare at me like a piece of meat. We all know how you really are anyway…”, she continued, her voice growing louder by the second.
“…Since you've got me all tied up, why don't you just rip my clothes off, whip me, and call me your ‘slave’?”
This made the pale beauty whirl around.
“You know what?”, Shego began, drawing closer to the enraged redhead. “I might take you up on that offer, Kimmie.”
It wasn't the first time that Kim's mouth got her in trouble, but with the way that her rival was staring at her now, she was in big trouble.
And… Where was Ron anyway?
Somehow, it didn't belong there.
She didn't belong here.
Although she was… intriguing to say the least. Inside school… Face to face. These battles between hero and villainess has never been this close to home. But this time, Kim Possible was very much up to the challenge. Two bitter rivals, once again ready, willing, and able to settle their score.
“You think your sooo slick, don't you?”, the redhead said angrily to her.
No answer.
“Look at you, all smug and sarcastic…”, she continued.
No answer. Just her staring right back at the teen heroine.
“You just want me to attack, don't you?”
Are we seeing a pattern here? Either Shego had not been in a talking mood, or she was in this battle with her mouth duct taped…
“Well,” Kim said with a smug, yet seductive grin. “I'll attack, just in a different way…”
With movements as smooth as silk, the redhead pressed her lips against the villainess’. The best part of this chance meeting was that this was well after cheer practice. No one was there to watch this, or judge for that matter. After several seconds, the kiss turned up a notch in terms of passion. Forbidden, Forschmidden, nothing was going to stop the redhead from getting what she wanted out of this particular battle with her archrival.
Or was it?
Ron Stoppable had himself a breakthrough.
If a breakthrough was getting one's pants on in under two minutes.
Adjusting his belt buckle, Ron exited the locker room. He was on his way to meeting his best friend, Kim Possible at her locker. He ambled along the row of lockers whistling a tune. Indeed, it was another day in the books. Another successful cheer practice as the Mad Dog mascot. Another…
What the hell?
As he turned the corner, he saw something too bizarre to be seen. But then again, it wasn't the first time that this happened. Of course, he had caught Kim in the act a little bit more times than he wanted to let on. Yet, this was ridiculous! Three times this week? The blond had to put a stop to this. All of this had to be unhealthy.
At least he thought it was unhealthy.
“Kimberly-Anne Possible. Stop kissing that mugshot! It's just a photograph of Shego, not the real thing!”, Ron commanded. “I repeat… Stop kissing that mugshot! It's not the real thing!”
Moodulators worked in seriously mysterious ways.
Ron Stoppable definitely knew it. And now, Kim Possible was definitely getting to know it. All that the blond could do is give directions to escape and occassionally break into serious fits of laughter as the teen heroine's former adversary was chasing her about Middleton. The only place she could take refuge was Middleton High School's storage closet.
“When will it stop,” Kim urgently asked Ron. The blond shrugged his shoulders in confusion, and replied back with a silly grin on his face.
“Well, K.P. You always wondered how it would be like if your relationship with Shego was slightly different.”
The redhead flashed him an incensed look. Ron began to cower, but his sniveling look changed into a relieved one.
“Uhh, I think I'll leave you two alone.,” The blond stated with a huge grin on his face.
Before the teen hero could ask what the heck he was talking about, she was tackled to the floor by her dangerous… and lovesick rival, Shego.
“There you are, Kimmie,” The villainess said. “I thought you were avoiding me,” she continued with a pout.
Kim yelled for assistance from Ron, but to no avail. The blond gave a wink before slamming the janitor's closet shut.
“Ron, No! Don't lock the… mmmmphhf!”
Her cries were silenced by her newest admirer clamping her lips upon the teen hero's. This was bad. Seriously bad. Critically… Hey, you know what? It wasn't all that bad.
Meanwhile, outside of the Janitor's closet and newly appointed love nest, Ron strolled calmly to his next class.
And his parents said he wasn't the type to hold a grudge.
A year and a half after these incidents. Things changed for the better…
Or did they?
“Isn't this place great?”, Kim said to an unimpressed Shego.
“Gosh, Kimmie. A one room shack for the both of us? I guess the buffoon was the one with the big bucks.”, she said with a grin.
“You know, I could've left you with the police.”, The former teen heroine said with her eyes narrowed.
“Whoa, Whoa, I didn't say that I wasn't grateful.,” Shego reasoned. “In fact,” She began, wrapping her arms around the younger woman. “I'm totally glad you broke me out of there, Princess.”
While the apology was good enough… It was those stupid pet names again.
“Shego, what did I say about those nicknames,” The redhead said to the grinning villainess.
“What did you say?”
“I told you not to call me those.”
“Oh! That's what you told me! Sorry, Kimmie.”
“You're doing it again.”
“Sorry, Pumpkin.”
“You're still doing it!”
“Oops. Sorry, Muffin.”
“You're doing it on purpose!”
“Oops… Where are my manners? Sorry, Sweet Cheeks.”
“Sweet Cheeks? That does it!”
Before they even knew what happened, the two women, now full fledged adults, found themselves scuffling on the living room floor, duking it out just like little boys… Just like little children…
Just like old times.
Token Song Lyrics
You and me, baby, ain't nothin’ but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (Do it again now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin’ but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (Gettin horny now!)
The End
Closing Statements: Hm… I told you folks that this was a silly fic. Don't bust my door down talking about how I made a mockery out of this and that.
The last part of this… Whatever it is, opens the door to an older Kigo fic of mine “The Perpetual Cycle.” This fic had to be good for something, right?
And the song lyrics are from “The Bad Touch” by The Bloodhound Gang. (Not that it has anything to do with the fic, of course.)
I ask for you kind folks to review, or flame. Or you can get really creative and find some way to shoot me out of a cannon.
S-Chrome