Dr. Drakken was in the midst of designing yet another plan for world domination when he became aware of someone approaching his work desk. Slowly, he looked up to find his somewhat faithful henchwoman striding towards him. Thankfully, she didn’t look upset, so for the moment, he suspected that he was safe from her wrath. Still, he didn’t like being disturbed, and she knew that by now.
“What is it, Shego?” he asked, putting just enough annoyance in voice that he was sure she’d catch it.
Not even breaking stride, Shego slapped a yellow Post-It on his forehead as she passed. “Gotta run. Later, Doctor D.”
Drakken frowned at her retreating back and snatched the sticky note off. It was, he found, rather short and to the point. Perhaps that was why he read it out loud.
“Dear Doctor D., My contract ends as of midnight, Friday, so consider these last two days paid vacation. Seeya, Shego.”
She had ended the note, rather obnoxiously, with a glaring green smiley, its tongue sticking out at him.
Drakken glanced at his calendar, and saw that it was, indeed, only Wednesday. “Oh. Well, I suppose two days is just enough time to finish drafting my ingenious plans for world domination, and I could use the peace and quiet. No clumsy henchmen in the way, no Kim Possible swinging in to foil me, and no angry Shego yelling about every other…little…thing…”
The impact of the note hit him so suddenly, it nearly knocked him off his feet.
Minutes later, he rushed outside just in time to see his favorite hovercraft zooming into the sky.
“Shego!” he shouted angrily, shaking a fist at the rapidly fading ship. “SHEGO!” Before he realized what he was doing, the words were in his mouth. “You think you’re all that, but…you’re…” He trailed off, and then his angry expression crumbled into pure, babyish bawling. “BUT YOU ARE!” he wailed as he fell to his knees, sobbing loudly for anyone who cared to hear him.
Inside the hovercraft, Shego grinned as she hit the STOP button on her recorder. “No matter how many times I hear that, I never get tired of it!” She leaned back in her chair and set the tape to loop, after putting the hovercraft on autopilot. Then she just relaxed and let the soothing sounds of Drakken’s pitiful wails carry her to her next destination.
“Well, Lord Monty Fisk. Why am I not surprised to see you here?”
Neither was Monkey Fist surprised as Jack Hench sat down next to him. “Hench,” he muttered by way of greeting. “I thought you had everything already?”
“Almost everything,” Jack replied, straightening his tie uncomfortably. “I’m missing only one thing—the very same thing you’re here to purchase, no doubt.”
“Aren’t we all?” Monkey Fist asked coolly.
“Of course. A woman of Shego’s credentials is indeed a rare and valuable commodity. I hope you won’t get your hopes up this year, though. I’d hate for you to leave disappointed…again.”
Monkey Fist glared at him, but did not reply. He’d come closest to winning Shego’s services the previous year, as Professor Dementor had been away on business, and Hench had been craftily evading yet another attempt by Global Justice to shut his operation down.
Hench seemed intent on making conversation, though…or at least a sale. “I don’t suppose you’re interested in replacing any of those monkey ninjas of yours? We recently revamped our entire animal division. With you in mind, of course.”
Monkey Fist grunted noncommittally, but there was a gleam in Hench’s eye; he knew an interested grunt when he heard one. A lot of villains tended to grunt when he had them right were he wanted them.
They both fell silent as Shego strode into the room, heading straight to the upraised platform in the center. By the time she reached it, all the commotion had faded to silence, and every other villainous backside in the room found a chair. And more than a few villainous eyes were drawn to Shego’s villainous backside, so she shifted her hips at a provocative angle before she began.
“Okay. You boys all know the deal. Whoever wants me bad enough, gets to take me home…for a reasonable fee.” She paused, sticking out her bottom lip in a thoughtful pout. “And my reason’s telling me to start at…oh…six.”
“Thousand?” Duff Killigan asked, both mild disbelief and hopefulness in his tone.
Shego frowned. “Okay, you don’t get to talk anymore.”
“I believe the lady meant six million,” Senor Senior, Sr. correctly interpreted. “And I wish to add my own bid of eight million.”
“Nine!” Monkey Fist shouted at once.
“Ten point five,” Hench added calmly.
“C’mon, you boys can do MUCH better than that,” Shego teased. As an added insult, she murmured, “Even Drakken was willing to part with…thirty.” Which wasn’t quite true (at all, in fact), but they didn’t need to know that.
“Sixty…million…dollars,” rang out Professor Dementor’s confident voice.
“Oooh, sounds like I got a new boss,” Shego cooed. “Anyone willing to fight for me?”
Monkey Fist looked particularly furious, but he made no further bid.
Shego was just about to proclaim the sale final (absolutely no refunds, ever) when the door was kicked in.
“I’ve got a bid,” said a familiar voice.
Every head in the room turned to the door, because they all knew that voice. And every villainous voice in the room shouted the intruder’s identity even before she entered the room.
“Kim Possible!”
Kim walked in surprisingly confidently, for someone so outnumbered. “Don’t anybody get up on my account. I’ll come to you.” With that, she fired a grappling hook into the rafters and swung across the length of the room, landing neatly at Shego’s side.
“Get her!” Monkey Fist growled, but Senor Senior, Sr. stopped him.
“Hold on, my simian friend. Ms. Possible has every right to be here, if she is indeed interested in procuring Shego’s services.” He eyed Kim curiously. “Although one must wonder how interested, since I don’t recall her ever charging clients to foil any of us.”
“Well, at least there’s one gentleman present,” Kim replied with a grin.
“And one very pissed lady,” Shego added, glaring at her nemesis. “You’ve got five seconds to make that bid, Kimmie.”
“Fine.” Kim raised her head, and said in a clear voice, “Absolutely nothing.”
There was complete silence…just before the room exploded into wild, villainous laughter.
Shego wasn’t laughing, though. Gritting her teeth angrily, but not laughing. “Two things,” she muttered when the laughter died down. “One, why would I EVER work for you? And two, what makes you think I’d do it for FREE!”
Kim folded her arms across her chest. “Because I’m giving you a chance to do something everyone in this room has tried to do, and failed at miserably, I might add.”
“And what’s that?” Shego asked, unable to suppress her curiosity.
Kim smirked. “I’m giving you the chance to beat me.”
Ron was slightly worried. Kim had been out of Kimmunicator contact for almost two whole days now, and for some reason, Wade wasn’t able to trace the signal anymore. All he had when Ron called him was a last known location: a rundown fitness gym in Wyoming.
So Ron had called in a favor (well, one of Kim’s, anyway) and eventually parachuted down in front of what was once the gym’s main entrance. Well, he actually crashed quite ungracefully, miraculously not injuring anything in the process. Although Rufus came away a little perturbed; he’d accidentally picked a pocket that also held Ron’s house keys.
“Okay, little buddy,” Ron whispered to his naked mole rat pal as they approached the decaying gym. “Be ready for anything.”
Rufus nodded, putting on his game face.
Just then, there was a particularly unlady-like grunt from inside the gym.
Ron gasped; he knew that grunt. “I’m coming, KP!” he shouted, crashing through the front door, and inadvertently earning himself a face full of dust. He coughed and fanned the dust away, only to find Kim struggling valiantly against an enraged Shego. On second thought, Shego was almost always that way, so it was no real change.
“Don’t worry, Kim! We’ll save you!”
Kim risked a glance that nearly got her face slapped by one of Shego’s strangely ungloved hands. “Stay back, Ron! You, too, Rufus!”
Rufus chattered uncertainly as he and Ron watched him dodge a series of vicious punches by Shego.
It was then that Ron noticed the bench a few feet away. Shego’s gloves were lying on it…right next to the Kimmunicator. Oddly convenient, all things considered. Almost as if they’d purposely been placed that way.
His attention went back to the catfight on the gym floor. The longer he watched, the more he began to notice that Shego wasn’t as aggressive as usual. Although, that was more due to her not wearing the gloves than anything else. And Kim wasn’t going all, either, but they still looked like they were trying to beat each other into submission.
“Um…KP? You sure you don’t need saving?” Ron asked slowly.
Kim turned slightly, perhaps to tell him no again, but Shego saw her moment of distraction and pounced on it, literally. She caught Kim in the side with a lunging tackle, knocking her to the floor and landing squarely on the teenager’s back, where she reached forward and pinned Kim’s wrists.
“HA! I win again!” Shego declared triumphantly.
Kim sighed angrily. “Thanks a lot, Ron.”
“Shouldn’t you be a little more concerned about her?” Ron asked, panic slipping into his voice.
Kim glanced back at Shego in a disturbingly calm manner. “Not today, no,” she replied easily. “Wait, how did you find me?”
“Wade tracked your last known—wait! Why AREN’T you concerned!”
Shego and Kim looked at each other.
“Five minute break?” the henchwoman suggested.
Kim nodded. “Definitely.”
Kim ignored all of Ron’s frantic question until she’d gotten a swig of ice-cold water. “So not the drama, Ron. I’m fine. Shego’s not going to capture me. Although we never discussed you, so watch your back.”
Ron instantly pressed his back against Kim’s, nearly causing her water bottle to spill. “Uh huh. You want to tell me why you ran away to Wyoming just to have Shego kick your butt?”
Kim narrowed her eyes. “She wasn’t, until you came in.”
“The heck I wasn’t!” Shego snapped. “Score’s 17-15 in my favor, in case you forgot, Kimmie!”
“Only because she got tired of losing fifteen times in a row,” Kim muttered under her breath.
“I HEARD THAT!”
Ron shuddered. “Talk fast, KP. Please?”
“I bought Shego’s services for the day,” Kim said in a rush. “So until midnight, she’s my personal trainer.”
“…we have got to talk about those closet masochistic fantasies of yours,” Ron said at last, gaping at her.
“Very funny, Ron. Whenever we go up against Drakken, who keeps me on my toes?”
“…Shego,” Ron admitted hesitantly.
“Whenever we say that Drakken is my arch rival, who are we REALLY talking about?”
“Shego…”
“And who purposely acts like she can’t remember your name, even though she does?”
“She—HEY!”
“I do NOT know his name,” Shego argued. “What is it, John Q. Sidekick?”
“That’s…actually pretty close,” Ron murmured.
“No it isn’t!” Kim snapped, glaring at Shego.
Shego ignored her. “Anyway, can we get back to work or not? Or are you gonna take off with your flunkies, knowing I got two victories to hold over your head later on?”
“Did she just call us flunkies?” Ron asked Rufus.
Rufus chattered angrily, struggling to leap out of Ron’s hand and get at Shego.
Kim just shook her head. “I can’t take you guys anywhere…”
Dr. Drakken was reminiscing. Well, if anyone had asked, he would’ve said he was studying his old security videos. Shego always liked to tape Kim Possible in action, supposedly so she could better learn to counter all her best moves. Somehow, he doubted it was that easy, because they still hadn’t managed to defeat her.
All the videos managed to do, however, was put Drakken in a fouler mood. It got to the point where he was ignoring Kim completely, just so he could focus on flinging curses at Shego. And while he couldn’t bring himself to actually despise her, he certainly was angry enough to. And deep down, maybe just a little bit sad and lonely.
He slumped further into his cushy chair and watched Shego and Kim do battle yet again.
And that was when he saw it.
In one frame, Shego seemed to be aiming a punch at Kim’s hip, only to miss and accidentally shove a fist into her pocket. But as Shego yanked her hand away, there seemed to be something yellow in Kim’s pocket that hadn’t been there before.
He rewound the tape and watched it again.
Shego had definitely slipped something into Kim’s pocket. He hoped it was something particularly nasty, like ultra-sneezing power or some flat form of poison ivy. But the more he stared at the object, the more familiar it became.
Slowly, Drakken turned his head until he was staring at his work desk. More specifically, the yellow Post-It note he’d balled up and tossed aside.
He rewound the tape again.
Now he was almost certain that Kim could’ve easily avoided the punch, just as Shego should’ve easily connected with it. And maybe he was imagining it, but it seemed that Kim’s hips twisted slightly, giving Shego easier access to her pocket.
It was all madness. He was just really, truly turning into a mad scientist without Shego. That had to be it. A mad, sad, lonely scientist. Without Shego.
Slumping further down into his chair, he turned off the tape and pouted. But he couldn’t help wondering what Shego was up to at the moment.
Kim suppressed the urge to snarl as Ron poked her awake again. “What!”
“KP, you can’t fall asleep!” he hissed from the seat in front of hers.
“Ron. It’s after three in the morning. We’re in a van. I’m exhausted. LET ME SLEEP.”
“But you can’t! S-H-E-G-O is sitting next to you!”
Kim glanced to her left, and was greatly annoyed to find that Shego was asleep. But then, Ron hadn’t been poking her. He wouldn’t dare. “I TOLD you already. For today, she’s fine.”
“But it’s past midnight now! That was yesterday! You can’t trust her anymore!”
“I can trust her when she’s asleep!” Kim hissed. “Like I want to be! And if you poke me one more time, you’ll be the one sleeping!”
“…but I’m not tired.”
Kim stuck a fist under his nose. “You won’t NEED to be.”
Ron shook his head sadly. “Can’t you see, KP? This isn’t you! It’s Shego! You’re slowly turning into her! Gotta be the prolonged exposure!”
Kim took several deep breaths. “Ron. You’re my best friend. And up until thirty minutes ago, the thought of murdering you had never crossed my mind. So don’t tempt me. Please.”
Ron wisely turned around and kept any further concerns to himself.
Kim curled up and snuggled deeper into her blanket, trying to get some much-deserved sleep.
Shego, mere inches away, continued to fake sleep as she watched Ron, Kim, the driver, and the road. Once she was sure they weren’t making a detour to any law enforcement agencies, she allowed herself to slip totally into a peaceful slumber.
“We’ll only be a minute, Ron,” Kim yawned as they pulled up to a private air field.
“We? As in you and me, right?”
Rolling her eyes, Kim climbed out of the van, followed by Shego.
“Stay,” Kim instructed as Ron began to get out. She closed the door and turned to find that Shego was already yanking a tarp off of a hovercraft. “I didn’t know you owned that.”
Shego smirked. “Who said I own it?”
“You mean you even steal from Drakken?”
“I like to think of it as borrowing. It’s not like he’ll never see it again.”
“Uh huh. Aren’t you afraid he’s going to catch on?”
“Y’know, Kimmie, I’m surprised you haven’t figured this out yet. For a supposedly evil genius, he’s not all that imaginative. Or that bright.”
Kim scratched her head. “Then why do you keep going back to him?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Shego laughed. “The big lug NEEDS me. Honestly, it’s not like he could hold you off on his own. And I know you think all his ideas are out there, but you should’ve heard some of the ones I shot down in the planning stages. Let’s just say I’ve saved us both some major headaches.”
“And caused plenty while you were at it.”
“Well, it IS my job,” Shego reminded her. “Some of us like getting paid lots of money to kick your butt.”
Kim stared at her. “Then why did you come with me today?” As an afterthought, she added, “Why do you always come with me, for that matter?”
“Let’s just say you’re not the only one who needs a personal trainer once a year, and leave it at that.”
“That sounded suspiciously like a compliment, Shego.”
“Really? Hmm. I’ll have to deck you extra hard the next time I see you, then. Just so you don’t get any ideas about me being nice or anything.”
“Of course not,” Kim said dryly. “So. Where to next year?”
“I’ll let you know. If, by some extraordinary stroke of luck, Drakken did manage to figure this out, I’d have to convince him that I’m actually luring you into a trap.”
Kim’s eyes narrowed. “Are you?”
“I’m insulted, Kimmie. I mean, really. I AM on sabbatical.”
“That was yesterday, as Ron likes to keep pointing out. Technically I only ‘bought’ you for one day.”
“Which is technically why I’m leaving now. I need to get back before Doctor D does something stupid, like try to hire someone cheaper.”
“Wouldn’t that actually mean he was smart, though?”
“Are you serious? How smart do you think letting me go would be, especially when I know where he lives?” She glared at Kim for good measure.
Kim blinked. “…good point.”
Dr. Drakken sulked a bit more as he headed for the kitchen. Shego hadn’t even bothered to call. Really, it was just common courtesy to let him know where she was. What if she ended lying in a ditch somewhere?
What if she found someone willing to pay her more than he did?
The thought was all too realistic. He knew for certain that Monkey Fist and Professor Dementor had made Shego several offers, but so far, she’d always come back to him. This time, however, he didn’t feel so sure.
So he was more than a little surprised to find Shego sitting at the table in a dark green bathrobe, eating the last of his cereal.
“Shego…?” he asked uncertainly.
She grinned at him. “Oh, hey, Doctor D. Miss me?”
“YOU STOLE MY HOVERCRAFT!” Drakken shouted.
“It’s right where you left it, you big baby,” she shot back, eating another bite of cereal.
“I AM NOT A-”
“Shego! SHEGO!” a rather familiar voice bawled.
Drakken’s face fell as Shego brought out her handheld recorder. “You…heard that…?”
She smiled at him. “Now, can I take that to mean you’re willing to consider hiring me back? For slightly more money?”
Drakken’s expression darkened. “I did want to discuss that, actually. It has occurred to me, Shego, that every year when your contract runs out, you vanish for two days, and then come back demanding slightly more money.”
She stared at him expectantly. “And your point is…?”
Drakken threw himself at her feet and wrapped his arms around her legs. “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!”
Shego sighed and patted him on the head. “Okay, okay. Just stop it. You’re embarrassing yourself.”
He raised his head. “I am?”
“Well, you’re embarrassing me.”
“Oh.” He stood up and backed away. “So…you’re not leaving me?” he asked hopefully.
“Not as long as you remember the slightly more money part.”
“Very well. Then I suggest you get a good night’s sleep, Shego. Because tomorrow, the world is mine!” He followed that questionable prediction with his best evil laugh.
“Mmmhmm,” Shego murmured, unconvinced. “Sure it is.”
He frowned. “You could show a little more enthusiasm.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, but that’s extra, remember?”
“Well, I can’t say I like the idea of you hanging out with Shego,” Wade admitted, “but if it’s helping your combat skills, I guess I have no right to complain.”
“Don’t worry, Wade,” Kim assured him. “None of her bad habits will rub off on me.”
“Except the tendency to yell!” Ron chimed in.
Kim ignored him. “Anyway, sorry I was out of contact. Didn’t want Shego to think I was trying to pull a fast one on her.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Kim, but…why didn’t you?” Wade asked. “This was the perfect chance to capture her.”
She shook her head. “Couldn’t do it. Anyway, she was there for me. It wouldn’t have felt right.”
“Well, of course it didn’t!” Ron cried. “You were hanging out with evil!”
Wade still looked concerned, though. “Kim, you do realize that those sparring sessions are keeping her in top shape, too, right?”
Kim nodded. “Believe me, I know. But we both need to be. Me, to save the world, and Shego…well, I guess it’s the only way she knows how to make a living. Even I couldn’t cut it at Bueno Naco, and it’s not like that was rocket science.”
“I don’t know, Kim. Considering who your dad is, I think I could walk you through the basics.”
“Way to rub it in, Wade.”
“Sorry. I just hope you know what you’re doing with Shego. She may have been on sabbatical, but she’s always dangerous.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Night, Wade.”
“Hold on, Kim. There is something I wanted to ask you. How exactly did you manage to make the Kimmunicator undetectable?”
Kim blushed. “Um…promise you won’t get mad?”
Wade said nothing.
“Shego showed me how.”
“…Kim, that’s not-”
“I know, I know!”
“Actually, I was going to say I could’ve taught you. But I know there will be times when you’ll need privacy, and I can respect that. Although, I really hope that’s all you learned from her.”
Kim decided not to answer that. “Night, Wade!”
“So be honest, KP,” Ron said as she put the Kimmunicator away. “You’re not going to hang out with her anymore, are you?”
It suddenly dawned on Kim that he didn’t realize she’d done this before. “Um…well, I didn’t make any plans.” Which was technically true, since Shego always contacted her with the location and time.
Ron sighed. “Good! I’d hate to think you were slowly but surely being corrupted to the Dark Side.”
Before, Kim would’ve agreed with him. But really, was there that big a difference between what she and Shego did? Sure, Ron wasn’t a threat to the general population, but a swift punch to the gut would stop him or Drakken any day. And at least Shego got paid for her butt kicking.
Suddenly, the idea of being on sabbatical (even an evil one) seemed very appealing…
The End.