The door slammed open without warning, and Shego sat up in bed at once, both hands pulsing with green energy.
Kim Possible stared back at her, looking like an absolute mess.
Shego blinked slowly, and eventually lowered one hand. “What happened to you?” Then she caught the scent. “And what is that SMELL!”
Kim's left eye twitched. “Shower,” she said simply.
Shego pointed to the left, and watched as Kim stomped into her private bathroom and slammed the door shut. Hesitantly, she got out of bed, pulled on her robe, and knocked on the door.
“Uh…stupid question, but…why are you here?”
There was a long pause before Kim answered, and Shego could hear clothes rustling as she spoke.
“Have you ever wanted to punch Drakken in the nose, for no other reason than that he's a guy?”
She couldn't help the smirk that came to her face. “Naturally.”
“So if he did something so colossally stupid, so amazingly inconsiderate, so incredibly STUPID that it made your life a living nightmare, you'd feel justified to pretty much declare war on his entire gender?”
Shego nodded sagely. “Boys suck, girls rule.”
“And, being therefore justified in your wrath, you would fully expect any red-blooded woman to aid you in your cause, yes?”
Shego could see that she'd walked right into that one. “You're going to use up all my hot water, aren't you?”
“Shego, I am covered in mud and monkey poop, and I can barely tell the difference anymore. I have had an EXTREMELY bad day.”
For some reason, Shego couldn't find it within herself to deny Kim the right to use all the hot water she wanted. Anyway, she didn't want to have to deal with that smell any longer than she had to.
“You just make sure you clean up after yourself. I find ONE trace of brown, and you can consider this temporary truce null and void.”
“Okay,” Kim replied agreeably enough. “And Shego?”
“Yeah, Kimmie?”
“…thanks,” she said quietly.
Shego stared at the door for a long moment before shaking her head and walking away. She just wondered how Drakken would react when she told him…
“This is completely unacceptable, Shego!” Dr. Drakken shouted.
Shego did her best not to laugh…and failed. Kim had clearly not been kidding when she spoke of declaring war on any and all males in her path. She'd left Shego's employer with not one, but two black eyes. Although, considering the almost permanent dark circles that surrounded his eyes anyway, Shego could barely notice the difference.
But Drakken had made sure that she DID notice. Wouldn't shut up about it, really. Never did when he was really upset. He was consistent that way.
“How DARE she!” Drakken went on. “Here I was, minding my own business, when that…that teenage ruffian barges in, hits me in the face, and keeps on walking like she owns the place! It's unheard of, Shego, and I won't stand for it!”
“Did you just call Kim Possible a ruffian?” Shego asked. “You really are mad, aren't you?”
“FOCUS, Shego! She assaulted me! I want…I want her arrested!”
Shego stared at him. “Okay. Now, I want you to visualize something for me.”
Drakken scowled at her. “What?” he asked bitterly.
“Let's say you call the cops, and they show up. You give them the whole story about how Kim Possible, Agent of Good, gave you two shiners. Do you know what they're going to see?”
He continued to look at her, obviously not getting it.
Shego sighed. “They are going to see Kim Possible, Agent of Good, and Dr. Drakken, Mad Scientist wanted for crimes against humanity and nature itself. Then, they are going to haul your butt into jail, shiners and all. Understand?”
Drakken slowly nodded, understandably crushed.
Shego felt the tiniest bit sorry for him, and patted his hand soothingly. “There, there.”
It was then that Kim walked into the room, dressed in a spare bathrobe of Shego's, and with a towel wrapped around her damp hair.
Drakken took one look at her and hid behind Shego's chair.
“Did you really have to hit him?” Shego asked calmly.
Kim had the decency to flush considerably. “Sorry, Drakken,” she muttered, looking thoroughly ashamed. “I shouldn't have hit you. Twice. In the face. Won't happen again. Well…unless you do evil stuff. Then I'm sort of obligated.”
Shego looked at her boss. “You should probably forgive her, so she won't hold that against you, too.”
Drakken's eyes widened in alarm. “Uh…all is forgiven, Kim Possible!” He laughed nervously, trying to put her at ease.
Kim visibly relaxed. “So I can stay?” she asked hopefully.
“Stay?” Drakken cried at once, the alarm back in his eyes. “Why would you want to stay? Shego, why would she!”
Shego shrugged. “She and the sidekick had a falling out is my guess.” She watched as Kim confirmed with a small nod. “So she doesn't want to be around him for a while.”
Drakken still looked uncomfortable. “But…we are not exactly… her…”
“Friends?” Shego supplied.
“Yes. We are not even allies, so why…?”
“If you let me stay,” Kim said quietly, “I won't tell Global Justice, or any other organization that's bound to give you trouble, that I know where your ‘secret’ evil lair is.”
Drakken's mouth dropped open in shock, and Shego couldn't help grinning her approval of Kim's slightly underhanded tactics.
“So can I stay?” Kim asked. She wasn't going to use The Pout yet, but if Drakken didn't cave soon…
Drakken closed his mouth and then grinned wickedly. “HA! Blackmail!” He pointed a finger at Kim. “It would seem that even the goodiest of the two shoes has answered evil's seductive summons!” He walked over and held out his hand. “Welcome to the fold, Kim Possible! The fold…OF EVIL!”
Kim stared at him in disbelief, and then at Shego, who was sending her ‘just-do-it’ glances, and finally shook Drakken's hand. “…yeah. Glad to be part of the team…”
Exactly three hours later, Kim found herself feeling thoroughly satisfied. Which was pretty good, considering she'd been covered in filth not all that long ago. But she'd put that all out of her mind, in the interest of doing some major self-therapy.
And then Shego had to come in and drag her back into the mud and monkey poop.
“So,” the henchwoman said from the doorway of the kitchen. “Feeling any better?”
Kim nodded, wrapping her hands around the mug (which read “I LUV EVIL!” on the side) Drakken had given her. “You know, I never knew Drakken could be so nice. Hooked me up with a ‘frosty mug of coco moo,’ as he called it.”
Shego shuddered. “He might be having another relapse from having his brain switched.”
“Which time?” Kim asked absently.
“Huh? Oh, right. The time your sidekick went all blue and evil instead.”
“Oh.” Kim's expression instantly darkened.
Shego watched her glower for a moment. Then she walked over and took a seat across from Kim. “You gonna make me ask about the monkey poop or what?”
Kim sighed. “Okay. You know how you're my main nemesis?”
Shego couldn't help the wicked grin that appeared on her face. But then, it was a pretty big ego boost, hearing Kim Possible admit that she was her archenemy. “Naturally.”
“Monkey Fist is pretty much Ron's, since between them and Rufus, they're the last three wielders of the Mystical Monkey Power.”
Shego's face went blank. “Ron? Rufus?”
Kim glared at her. “Sidekick and pet rat.”
“Oh, them. Go on.”
“Anyway, Monkey Fist suddenly decides he wants to be the only Master of the Mystical Monkey Power. So he develops this elaborate plan to either drain it out of Ron and Rufus…or kill them.”
“You mean he actually focused an entire plan on them instead of you?” Shego asked in surprise.
Kim shrugged. “I thought the same thing, at first. But frankly, Ron could've used the ego boost. He's been low on self confidence lately.”
“So how well did this plan work against the sidekick?”
Kim's face darkened again. “I wouldn't know. Since Ron didn't exactly accompany me. At all.”
“Which made it much easier to hand him his monkey butt, right?”
“No. Which made Monkey Fist's plan totally useless. He wasn't happy. In fact, he pretty much went primal and ordered his monkey ninjas to revert to their most primitive form of retalliation.”
“…poop-flinging?” Shego guessed.
Kim nodded. “To make things worse, I slipped in a huge mud puddle trying to avoid most of it. Which only gave them a better target, in retrospect.”
“Wait. I'm confused. Exactly why couldn't sidekick be there?”
Kim closed her eyes. “You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“He had,” Kim said slowly, “a date.”
Shego stared at her. “No, seriously, why?”
“I AM being serious, Shego. He actually didn't show up because he was on a date.”
“You almost sounded serious that time.”
“Shego, I'm not kidding!” Kim snapped.
“…wait, you aren't. How did he…?”
“I honestly don't know. Apparently they have the same taste in movies, or something like that.”
Shego was obviously having trouble wrapping her mind around the concept of the sidekick being even remotely dateable. “So what is she? Crazy? Stupid?”
“Actually, once she figured out that I wasn't a threat, she was perfectly nice. And she doesn't have any conditions that would affect her judgment. She genuinely likes Ron, I think.”
“Okay, but even if she did, doesn't saving the world kind of take precedent over a night at the movies with an arguably insane girl?”
Kim gritted her teeth. “Apparently not, to hear his side,” she said darkly.
“Okay, I take it back. HE was the one wearing the crazy pants in that relationship. What good is going on a date when the world could be enslaved by the time you leave the movie?”
“Oh, I made sure to explain that to him…when I barged into his date and told him so.”
Shego blinked. “Um…but you didn't wash off the poop until…oh. You really were mad, to be seen like that in public.”
“Well, the lights were off, and I wasn't thinking properly. So I gave him a piece of my mind, and hopefully at least a bit of poop in his popcorn with my angry gesturing. That was the last time I saw him.”
Shego didn't say anything at first. Finally, she looked Kim in the eye. “Want me to hunt him down? No charge.”
“Um…that's…sweet, but no. I think eventually, logic will kick in, and he'll feel like less than mud on his own. That's better punishment than anything we could come up with.”
“Don't be too sure.”
“Shego, no. But thanks. I appreciate the offer, really.”
“You should. I don't work for free. Ever.”
“Except for me, apparently,” Kim pointed out with a smile.
Shego glared at her. “Shut up. And quit smiling at me.”
“Admit it, Shego. You're being nice to me.”
“Am not!”
“You are. You want me to stay here.”
“No, I don't. It just makes sense, that's all.”
“It makes no sense at all. That's why I came, because it's the last place anyone would think to look for me. That, and…I didn't think you'd turn me away.” Kim looked down at the table. “I guess…I was counting on you.”
For a moment, Shego didn't say anything. Then she stood up suddenly. “Well, come on. If you're gonna talk crazy like that, then you obviously need rest. I'll show you where you can get some sleep.”
Kim smiled slightly as she rose to follow. “Right. I'm sure that's something only a mean, totally evil person would do.”
“Quiet, you.”
When the Kimmunicator had fallen off the map, Wade hadn't been too worried. Occasionally Kim just didn't want to be bothered, and he respected her enough to give her all the space she needed during those times.
Of course, once the Kimmunicator was back online, he fully expected an explanation as to what had been bothering her, and if it would have any impact on future missions. Above all, he had to be certain that Kim was okay, if not to go on saving the world, then at least to just be Kim. He was her friend first, webmaster/hacker second.
So he was a bit concerned, but not exactly surprised, when Shego's face appeared on the screen.
“Um…Shego. Always a pleasure.”
“Uh huh. And you want what, exactly?”
“I assume if you're answering, then you've either captured Kim, or she's staying with you.”
Shego was clearly not expecting that second line of reasoning, from the look on her face. “She said no one would think she was here.”
“I seem to recall the last time she was out of contact, she was with you. So I thought there was at least the possibility.” Wade paused. “Did something happen?”
“Her and sidekick aren't speaking. He passed up saving the world for a date.”
Wade winced. “Ron, what were you thinking?” he muttered.
“He wasn't, of course. Kimmie's still pretty pissed about it. There was monkey poop involved, you know.”
“I always thought Monkey Fist was too dignified for that?”
“His plan was to get the sidekick. Hence, no sidekick, really pissed Monkey Fist with useless plan.”
“So it's all his fault that Kim got…pooped?”
“Yeah. Make sure he knows that, too. And that she'll be here until further notice.” Shego stopped. “On second thought, DON'T tell him where she is. I don't think she'd like that.”
“Understood. I don't suppose there's any chance I could talk to Kim?”
Shego looked hesitant. “I don't know. She seemed pretty down on males in general, last time I checked. But since you're taking her side, I'll put in a good word for you.”
“Thanks. And thanks for looking after her.”
Shego scowled at him. “I did no such thing. She came on her own.”
Wade didn't seem to believe her. “I'll call in the morning to see how she's doing.” He cut the connection before she could argue.
Kim woke up to the familiar beeping of her Kimmunicator. She found it lying on her pillow, though she couldn't remember taking it out.
“What up, Wade?” she yawned, rubbing her eyes.
“Glad to see you haven't sworn off boys completely,” Wade replied.
“I've decided that I'm only mad at men. And no offense, but I don't really consider you a man yet. At least, not one that would ditch me.”
“As long as you're still speaking to me. Kim, are you okay? I talked to Shego, and I got the impression you might still be upset.”
“I'm doing a lot better now, thanks.”
“That's good to hear. I, uh…spoke to Ron, too.”
Kim's eyes narrowed. “I'm not interested in talking to him just yet.”
“Fair enough. I wanted to say I'm sorry. If I'd known what Monkey Fist was up to, I never would've sent you in alone.”
Kim shook her head. “Wade, don't. I would never blame you for what happened to me. Every mission has its risks, and we both know that. Besides, it wasn't you that Monkey Fist wanted. And it wasn't you that didn't show up for work.”
“I'm still having trouble understanding why Ron flaked on you. I know he had a date, but couldn't he have re-scheduled or something?”
“You'd have to ask him. As far as I know, he's just really into his girlfriend, never having had one before.”
“Maybe. It's just not like him to ignore a mission.”
“Well, he has been a little off ever since he hooked up with Zita. Maybe that's part of it. I just assumed he was afraid of messing things up with her, but I'd like to think she would still take a rain check in case of emergencies.”
“I hate to say it, Kim, but there's always the possibility that Ron didn't tell her about what you really do.”
“How could he not, Wade?” Kim asked. “What other excuse could there be for my needing his help several times a week? We already made sure that Zita knew we were only friends.”
“All I know is I've never talked to her. But maybe I should. If Zita and Ron are going to be together, she needs to know that he has a responsibility to us, as well.”
“I couldn't agree more.”
“And while we're on the subject, Shego was a lot more agreeable than I expected.”
Kim nodded. “I've noticed. Even Drakken welcomed me, after I apologized for hitting him. It's hard to believe I ever had to fight them.”
“As long as they're behaving themselves, I feel a lot better about you being there.”
“It's sweet of you to worry, Wade, but I'm a big girl. Besides, the most threatening thing Drakken's done is offer me coco moo when I'm full.”
“…coco what?”
“Never mind. I'll be fine. Let my parents know I'm okay?”
“Already done. But, um, Kim? Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Ask away.”
“Do you really think you can trust Shego?”
“She was there for me when my best friend wasn't. And though she'd never admit it, I think she likes having me around.”
“But if you really just needed to get away, why choose her? Why not Monique?”
“Ron would expect me to go to my friends. If I'd seen him before I was ready, I might've said something I'd regret later. I needed to be somewhere he wouldn't dare go. And I've never known Ron to stand up to Shego.”
“True. But won't this complicate things when you have to go back to fighting her?”
“So far, we've been able to keep business separate from our frienuh…”
Wade stared at her. “Kim? I think you almost said friendship.”
“I did, didn't I?” Kim murmured softly.
“Is Shego your friend now?”
“I…I want to say yes. Is that weird?”
“Not as long as it's true, no. Shego is a strong enemy. She could be just as strong as an ally. But that's her choice, not yours.”
“I know. But she helped me. Isn't that a start?”
“I guess. Just be careful, Kim. If Shego doesn't want you to get any closer, listen to her. It's no good if you're a friend and she isn't.”
“And if she is? What then?”
Wade shrugged. “That depends on her. And Drakken. But mostly her.”
“Yeah. But I really think I can reach her, Wade. More than that, I think I want to.”
Had Kim not been so preoccupied with Wade, she might have noticed that her door was open just the slightest bit. Certainly she would've wanted to know that she was being eavesdropped upon by a certain blue-skinned mad scientist. Said mad scientist merely placed the tray of chocolate milk and toast he was carrying next to the door, and walked away, a thoughtful look on his face.
Dr. Drakken's face split into a wide, non-threatening grin. “Good afternoon, Kim Possible!” he greeted. “How does the day find you?”
“Uh…great,” Kim said slowly as she entered the room, still not used to all the niceness. “Where's Shego?”
“Oh, she comes and goes when I'm not keeping her busy. She mentioned she was going to pick a few things up, though.”
Kim couldn't help but wonder if that actually meant she was going to steal a few things, then pushed the thought from her mind. “Oh.”
“I know this is out of the blue,” Drakken said hesitantly, “but could I interest you in a summer internship?”
Kim blinked a few times. “You mean a job?”
“Well, yes…and no. You would need to learn certain…skills, so I could hardly pay you the same as I do Shego…”
“You want me to steal for you,” Kim said bluntly, her eyes narrowing.
“No, I want you to learn how to steal. From Shego. Who you do it for is largely up to you.”
“But you want me to steal!”
Drakken shrugged. “It's merely an offer, Kim Possible. The job has a great deal of freedom, and you would of course be working closely. With Shego.” He paused to let that sink in. “Interested?”
“Hardly.”
“We shall see,” Drakken said, a bit smugly. “Evil is not a fickle mistress, Kim Possible. When she beckons, she beckons time and time again. You will find that she is not so easy to ignore.”
“…you don't get out much, do you?” Kim asked.
“I prefer not to. It helps preserve my ice blue tint.”
“Well, you might want to work on that sales pitch,” Kim said as she turned to leave, “because I'm not buying.”
“Oh, dear,” Drakken said softly, but loudly enough to be heard. “I fear poor Shego will be so very disappointed.”
“Wouldn't be the first time,” Kim muttered as she left. But she no longer looked as confident as she sounded.
Shego stopped short when she found Kim sitting on the edge of her bed.
“What, you're still here?” she asked in mild surprise. “Hasn't sidekick begged you to come home yet?”
“No, and even if he had, I'd be here,” Kim said firmly. “I figure you'd tell me when I've worn out my welcome.”
“You stay here too long and Drakken will try to put you on his payroll,” Shego warned her.
“He already did. Offered me a job today.”
Shego paused. “Huh,” she said, not really pleased or upset.
“Only he called it an internship. Said I'd be learning from you.”
“Huh.”
Kim blinked. “And that we'd be working closely.”
“Huh.”
“I wouldn't get paid as much as you.”
“Huh.”
Kim frowned. “Your hair's on fire.”
“Isn't,” Shego muttered.
“So you are listening.”
“Yeah, and?”
“And what do you think?”
“I think if he offered you the job, it's your decision.” Shego went into the bathroom and filled a cup with tap water. As she began to drink, she noticed Kim, in the mirror, standing behind her. “What?”
“You don't sound too excited.”
“Should I be?” Shego countered. “Are you?”
“Do you want me to be?”
Shego shrugged. “Whatever.”
“You don't care, do you?”
“I'm indifferent. I have no opinion. There's a difference.”
“Yeah? What?”
“If I didn't care, you wouldn't be here, would you? Because I'd have kicked you out already.”
“So you care enough to let me stay, but not enough to work with me?”
“Never said that. You assumed, based on my indifferent responses.”
Kim stared at her back. “You are completely frustrating to talk to sometimes.”
“Drakken thinks so. He also thinks I'm worth the trouble.”
“So if I paid you, you'd be less frustrating?”
“No. But I wouldn't ditch you on a mission, either.”
Kim closed her eyes. “Ron is still my friend, Shego.” She felt gloved fingers on her chin, and opened her eyes to see Shego staring intently into her face.
“And if you were my friend, I'd make sure that he'd never have gotten the chance to hurt you a first time.”
“I don't want you to hurt Ron.”
“Then I'd just put the fear in him. He wouldn't have to know it was an empty threat.”
“And you'd do that for me?”
Shego smirked. “I'd do it for myself. But I might as well have a reason. You giving me one?”
“As long as you realize that beating people up isn't the only way to help me.”
“Sure, I know. You could do THAT. I'm much better at intimidation than you are. People EXPECT me to beat them up.”
“Shego, you sound like a bully. I don't make nice with bullies.”
“You forgot already? I don't do nice, Kimmie.”
“So you say.”
Shego glared at her. “Don't make me hit you to prove a point.”
Kim smirked. “You could try. I'm good at blocking your hits.”
“There are some things even you can't block, Kimmie.”
“Like what?”
Instead of answering, Shego removed her right glove, tossed it away, and gently ran her bare finger slowly along Kim's jaw.
Several moments had passed before Kim finally realized what was happening, and pulled away quite suddenly, her cheeks flushed.
Shego smirked as she pulled the glove back on. “For future reference, Kimmie? That was the suckiest block I've ever seen.”
Kim couldn't find her voice as Shego brushed past her. She only stood there, staring at the mirror in shock, even as the skin where Shego had touched her continued to tingle, alive with sensation and warmth.
It had taken some serious pleading on her part, but Kim had finally convinced Wade to loan out his spare Kimmunicator to the one person she knew she could count on for some much-needed advice. And so, at the start of her third day living with Shego and Drakken, she was greatly relieved to be able to look into the face of her closest girlfriend.
“You have NO idea how good it is to see you, Monique,” Kim confessed. “I really need your help with something.”
“First things first, Kim. You want to tell me why Ron has filled up my answering machine looking for you?”
Kim sighed. “We had a big fight. Just ignore him for now.”
“He sounded pretty frantic. He's convinced that someone kidnapped you while you were feeling vulnerable and distraught.”
Kim snorted. “It'd still be his fault if I had been. Can we not talk about him?”
“Yeah, okay. So what kind of problem are you having? Shego making you wear green and black?”
Kim's eyes narrowed. “And you knew I was with her how?”
Monique smirked. “Apparently, these lips are good for more than just sharing information. But don't hold it against Wade, he was most definitely coerced, and it wasn’t easy.”
“…do I even want to know?”
“Probably not. Rest assured he didn't tell anyone else, though. Your mom has brought cookies over three times already, supposedly just to be friendly. I caught her peeking into the linen closet, too.”
“I'll call her at work today, so she'll leave you alone.”
“Girl, don't you dare. I haven't had cookies that good since I was six!”
Kim laughed. “Sounds like you want me to go missing more often.”
“Aw, you know I miss my girl! But you don't bring cookies when you come over. So back to you, what's so important that you had to ask me?”
Kim swallowed nervously. “Monique…have you ever…liked a girl?”
Monique didn't miss a beat. “Yeah. You. Why?”
Kim blushed. “No, I mean…LIKED a girl. As in, you thought about being more than friends with her?”
Monique blinked a few times. “Is this about Shego?”
“…maybe.”
“Well, to answer your question, yes. Although I never did more than think about it, so I don't know how much help I can be. Also, I never thought about getting involved with an older woman.”
“I said maybe it was her!” Kim insisted, her cheeks burning.
“Your lips did, anyway. The rest of your face told me all I needed to know. Kim, whatever you decide, you know I got your back. But you really want to think about this. Shego doesn't strike me as a patient person. She's probably really into instant gratification.”
“Tell me about it,” Kim murmured.
“So I don't know that you can take it nice and slow with her. She'll probably want to set the pace of the relationship, and if it's too fast for you, she might just dump you and move on. Are you sure you want to be involved with someone like that?”
“I don't know for sure. But I want to try, I think.”
“Then I hope you're right, girl. Oh, and pass a message onto Shego for me?”
“…okay, what?”
“You make sure she knows that if she hurts you, I will personally learn martial arts just so I can kick her butt.”
“That's really sweet, but-”
“Tell her, Kim. Nobody messes with my girl. Not even Shego.”
Kim smiled. “Thanks, Monique. You don't know how much that means to me.”
“You take care, girl. As soon as you get back, we are hitting the mall so you can give me all the dirt on her and Drakken.”
“Can't wait. I promise to bring cookies with me.”
“As long as you're there in person, that's all that matters. But if you want to bring cookies, I won't stop you.”
“Didn't think you would. Seeya, Monique. And let Wade know we need to have a little chat…”
“Kim, I am SO sorry,” Wade said as soon as his face appeared on the screen. “But you don't know what she DID!”
“Wade, am I to understand that Monique was able to pump you for info on me?”
“Info on you! Kim, I'm just lucky she didn't ask for the password to my computer! You don't know what that…that woman is capable of!”
Kim rolled her eyes. “And when did she become a woman?”
“After what I've seen, I couldn't possibly call her anything else.”
“Uh huh. And did you happen to tell any other pretty girl who asked?”
“No, but you won't like this next part. Ron knows where you are.”
“How!” Kim cried.
“I don't know! I was asking him how he planned to patch things up when you got back, and suddenly he got this weird look on his face and ran off. I've been tracking him, and he's headed your way. Maybe he remembered that you and Shego have been alone together before.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Kim asked defensively, her cheeks flushing.
“Uh…nothing. Why?” Wade frowned at her. “Are you feeling okay? You look all red.”
“I'm fine! How long until Ron gets here?”
“About an hour. If he's traveling by air, I might be able to stall him.”
Kim sighed. “No, don't bother. I'll just deal with him.”
“Kim, I know what he did was wrong. But he's your best friend. Has been as long as I've known you. Don't forget that, no matter how mad he makes you. He does care about you, or he wouldn't be trying to see you right now.”
“I know, Wade. I even understand that he has a girlfriend now. But he can't just ignore missions, especially those that demand his presence, to go on a date.”
“Hey, tell him that to his face. Maybe he'll listen to you. Or Shego.”
Kim blushed again. “I don't need Shego to talk for me, Wade.”
“Kim, seriously, what's up? You seem distracted.”
“I AM NOT…I am not distracted,” Kim said, trying not to shout.
“Okay. Call me if you need anything.”
“Will do, Wade. And if Monique calls you again…just picture Bonnie.”
“Look, I know YOU don't like her, but replacing Monique with any cheerleader isn't going to help me keep quiet.”
Kim grinned wickedly. “Then picture DNAmy.”
Wade stared at her. “…Kim, you're really scaring me. You've been around Shego way too long.”
And before Kim could protest that statement, the Kimmunicator screen went blank.
Ron's face was set into a determined scowl as he marched up to the door. It flew open as he reached it, revealing a none-too-happy Shego.
“Well, the sidekick finally grew a pair, huh?” she asked. “Too bad they won't last long.” She cracked her knuckles and started forward.
“Shego,” said a voice behind her. “That's enough. I can handle this.”
Shego hesitated, but eventually moved aside, revealing a frowning Kim. “Okay, but remember, you asked for it.” The woman turned to leave, but Kim's hand shot out and locked onto her wrist.
“I said I could handle it. I didn't say I wanted you to leave me.”
Ron watched as the two young women's eyes met, and was surprised when Shego looked away first, seeming paler than usual.
“You wanted to speak to me, Ron?” Kim asked calmly.
His eyes narrowed. “You bet I did! KP, you've been gone for days!”
“I'm surprised you noticed at all. I mean, it's not like I'm your girlfriend.”
“You're right, you're not. Which means you don't have as much say over what I do and don't do.”
“Oh, don't even give me that, Ron! When I first started doing this, YOU were the one who begged to come with me, not the other way around! Every time I wanted you to stay at home, you insisted on coming! So why'd you bail on me?”
“I told you, I had a date! Zita didn't know what we really do!”
“And what would you have done if your date was interrupted by a gang of monkey ninjas!” Kim snapped. “Screamed and hid behind her? You would've had to bust out the Monkey Kung Fu, and I THINK Zita might have noticed!”
“IF that had happened. But it didn't! There were no monkey ninja brawls in the movie.”
“THEY WERE TOO BUSY THROWING POOP AT ME!” Kim shouted. “ALL BECAUSE YOU AND RUFUS WEREN'T THERE!”
“Look, I have a girlfriend now! How is it my fault that she actually wants to spend time with me!”
Kim glared at him. “Oh, I don't know. Maybe the part where Monkey Fist KILLS you wouldn't bother her too much. She could spend all the time she wanted with your rotting corpse. But what would I know about that? I was only trying to keep you and the world safe for your little DATE!”
Ron sighed heavily. “Kim, I'm sorry. But you just don't understand. I can count the girls that really liked me, ever, on one hand. I can't screw this up. So I can't go on missions with you like I used to.”
“And if you'd told me that's how you felt, I would've accepted it, Ron. But you just flaked on me. And this was Monkey First, YOUR arch foe. You should've made an exception. If Zita couldn't understand why you had to go, then she's not the one for you.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because anyone that can't accept the way you live can't accept you.” Kim shook her head. “Ron, do you even know why I got so mad at you?”
“Because I wasn't there?”
“Because you weren't there for ME, Ron. I thought our friendship meant more to you than that. I thought I meant more to you than that. I've been your best friend forever, and you've known Zita for maybe two months. Which of us do you really think is going to be there in the long run? I made room for her in my life, because you're my best friend. If she can't do the same, what's the point? The least you could do is be totally honest with her.”
Ron rubbed his head. “Actually, I was. Told her everything last night. She kinda blew up when I told her I could've been helping you save the world instead of taking her to a movie. And she doesn't want to be with me unless I can learn to prioritize. I think she actually likes monkeys even less than I do.”
Kim's face fell. “Ron, I'm so sorry.”
“No, you were right. I should've been with you, KP. And once I figured out that you'd stranded yourself with Shego again, I-”
“She was stranded with the monkeys and their poop,” Shego said heatedly. “She came to me on her own. By. Her. Self.”
Ron flinched at the venom in her words. “I said I was sorry…”
“And I believe you,” Kim replied, glancing at Shego.
“So you'll come home?”
“Not just yet.”
Ron's eyes widened in surprise. “But…KP…I thought…”
“I know what you thought, Ron. You were wrong.” Her eyes grew sad. “So was I.”
He slumped visibly. “Would it help if I swore never to let you down again?”
“No. But I know you won't, and I forgive you. I just can't forget that easily. I need a little more time.”
Ron's gaze shifted to the left. “With her?” he guessed.
“Yes,” Kim said firmly, feeling Shego's eyes on her. “She was there for me when I needed someone. And she's still here.”
“But…what should I tell your folks?”
“That I'll be home soon, and that I send my love. I'll be back when I'm ready.”
“Okay,” Ron sighed. He turned to leave, only to feel Kim's arms slipping around his waist.
“Don't take it so hard, Ron. You're still my best friend. I just need to remind myself of that a little more.” She rested her chin on his shoulder. “It only hurts so much because I care so much about you.”
“I know,” he said, but his voice sounded hollow.
Kim squeezed him gently before stepping back. “It'll get better. You'll see.”
Ron glanced over his shoulder, but he wasn't looking at her. He headed back to the helicopter, his head lowered.
“You let him worm his way back into your heart,” Shego said later, almost accusingly.
“He never ‘wormed’ his way out of it, completely,” Kim pointed out. “I was just upset with him. I'll get over it.”
Shego grunted, looking sullen. “It was too easy. You couldn't have slapped him once or twice?”
“You would've enjoyed that too much.”
“Damn right, I would've. You're way too soft, Kimmie.”
“Being ‘soft’ is what made me realize that you have your good points,” Kim replied, poking her shoulder. “So don't knock it.”
Shego grabbed her finger. “I meant you're too soft around him.”
Kim smiled up at Shego. “What's wrong? Jealous?”
Shego's eyes flared. “If I wanted you soft, I'd beat you soft.”
“No, you wouldn't,” Kim replied. “At least, you wouldn't have to.” She reached up and brushed her fingertips along Shego's cheek. “I know you don't do nice, but that doesn't mean you have to force me to like you. I already do, remember?”
Shego stared at her. “Then why are you leaving?” she challenged.
“My going home doesn't mean I don't like you, Shego. It just means I want to go home. We both knew this wasn't permanent. I can't just turn to a life of crime.”
“Thought you could do anything.”
Kim smiled sweetly. “I can. Doesn't mean I will, though.”
“And you're sure you did everything to convince her to stay?” Dr. Drakken asked for the third time. “Perhaps you could've been a bit more persuasive, Shego. I understand flashing a little leg can go a long way these days.”
Shego glared at him. “She wants to leave. She's leaving. Let it go.”
“You obviously don't appreciate the magnitude of the opportunity we're losing here, Shego! Kim Possible, working for me, alongside you, is the stuff that dreams are made of! We would be an unstoppable force! No hero or villain would dare stand in our unified way! We would be a trio of terror!”
“Yeah, would be, if she weren't leaving. Which she is. As I've said ten times already. So drop it.” Shego rolled her eyes and glared into the distance.
Drakken paused, noticing his henchwoman's darkening mood. “Aw, is someone feeling a little rejected?” He reached out and patted Shego's arm. “There, there, Shego. I'm sure there are other teenage cheerleaders to seduce to the side of evil.”
Shego almost shouted in his face that she didn't WANT another teenage cheerleader, that she wanted Kim, and that no one else would do. Instead, she made do with shoving him away and pouting.
The evil supposed genius decided to try a different approach to cheering Shego up. Tipping an imaginary hat, he burst into song.
“Hey, little lady, want a kiss for your boo boooooo?”
Shego blinked slowly, staring at him in a mix of amusement and horror.
“Well, if not, how ‘bout some warm coco moo moooooo?”
Shego's lips twitched, as if trying to decide whether they should laugh or cry. They settled on pressing tightly together to prevent either.
Fortunately, that was as far as Drakken had thought out the song. With a resigned sigh, he wandered off to busy himself with other things. After all, he was a genius, and he STILL didn't know how women's minds worked. Better to just leave Shego alone and hope she didn't get mad at him for some other reason he didn't understand.
Kim took one last look around the room and decided she wouldn't miss it too much. While it was roomy, it was also pretty empty, and held few of the comforts of her room at home. She could understand why someone like Shego would go for it, though. But then, she was starting to discover a lot of things about Shego she hadn't know before, not the least of which was her preferred gender in intimate partners.
Blushing to the roots of her red hair at the memory of their brief but electric moment in Shego's bathroom, Kim hurried out of the room and down the long corridor. Part of her was dreading facing Shego today. Kim didn't want to seem like she was abandoning Shego and the closeness they'd developed in these past few days, but she was more afraid that Shego would say or do something to convince her to stay even longer.
But it was Dr. Drakken who ambushed her before she could sneak away. He met her at the kitchen door with a big grin…and an even bigger mug of his favorite drink.
Kim accepted the glass with a bright smile. “Coco moo to go? You shouldn't have, Drakken.”
“I realize we have not always seen eye-to-eye, Kim Possible. And it would seem that evil's call was not quite seductive enough to draw in the likes of you for long. Still, I think I will miss you. And if ever you should find that fighting for justice and truth no longer appeals to you, there will always be a place for you here, in the deepest darkness, the most vile of villainous halls, the totality of!-”
Kim pressed a finger to his lips. “I can visit. I get it, really. So you can stop with the whole ‘win-me-over-to-evil’ speech.”
“I'm sure I have no idea what you mean,” Drakken replied uneasily.
Smiling inwardly, Kim stood on her toes to briefly brush her lips against his blue cheek. “Okay, I'll miss you, too. But if my mom sees even ONE evil scholarship in the mail, I'll know it was you, and you'll be sorry.”
Kim strode past him, and made it all the way to the main door. She considered going back to at least leave Shego a note, but somehow, that seemed so tactless to her now. With a sigh, Kim headed through the door, and had almost passed through it completely when someone cleared their throat very loudly. She stopped and closed her eyes.
“So now I don't even rate a goodbye?” Shego asked coldly.
Kim turned around and found herself staring up into Shego's angry (and maybe even hurt), pale face. “I was kind of hoping you wouldn't be here when I left, so I wouldn't have to say goodbye.”
“Well, here I am, so deal with it.”
“Why are you making this so much harder?” Kim asked with a frown. “You knew this would happen.”
“Just like you knew sidekick boy would always be there for you?” Shego snapped, before sending Kim a look of silent apology. “I guess I didn't want to believe you would leave.”
“But it's not the end of the world, Shego. You know where I live. You might even try visiting. Crazy concept, I know, but I here it actually works for pretty much anyone who really wants to stay in touch.”
“I can't visit you,” Shego muttered. “I've attacked you at all the places you hang out at, remember? Someone would call the police.”
“You've never been to Monique's house. As long as we cleared it with her first, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if we met there.”
Shego didn't look too excited. “Doubtful.”
Kim rolled her eyes. “She might not like it, but she'd do it as a favor to me.” She stepped closer to Shego. “And if you really want to see me as much as you act like you do, then it shouldn't be a problem for you, either.”
Shego avoid Kim's eyes. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It is, Shego. Either you like me and want to be around me, or you don't. I realize maybe you don't do this kind of thing much, so I'll even spell it out for you.” Kim stepped even closer. “I want you to visit me. I want to spend time with you. I even want you to give some signs that you care about me, physical or otherwise. But I won't beg for any of that. I shouldn't have to.”
“Then stay,” Shego said at once. “Stay here.”
Kim shook her head slightly. “I can't. Drakken may be your only obligation, but I've got too many to just stay here.” She paused. “No matter how much I want to.”
“I could make you stay,” Shego said slowly.
“Could you?” Kim asked softly.
“I could tie you up and toss you in the basement. Or sucker punch you and drag you back to my room. Or…or…”
“Or what?” Kim challenged.
Shego practically leered at her. “Or I could kiss you until your knees gave out and your brain turned to mush.”
Looking into Shego's dark, desperate eyes, Kim knew it was a very much a realistic threat. Already her knees were trembling slightly, and her brain could no longer recall any of the usual moves she would've used to keep Shego at bay. “That's not fair,” she said quietly.
“You think I wouldn't cheat to keep you here?” Shego asked, smirking.
“What if…what if, I kissed you instead? Would you let me go then?”
The smile dropped off of Shego's face. “Maybe,” she murmured. “If it was a really good kiss.” But already, she didn't think it would be. She could tell that Kim was nervous, starting to sweat, and probably scared out of her mind at the very thought of kissing her. And certainly she didn't want to have to force Kim to kiss her, no matter how much it appealed to some small part of her. No, it would be infinitely better when Kim could kiss her without being manipulated into it, no matter how long she had to wait. “Never mind,” Shego sighed as Kim started to lean forward. “Just go.”
“Shego?” Kim asked hesitantly.
“Go already, before I change my mind.”
“I'm sorry. I-”
“I don't like to repeat myself, Kimmie.”
But Kim stood her ground. “Too bad.” With that, she slipped her arms around Shego's waist and hugged her tightly. It was more odd than affectionate, but it was something, at least.
Shego didn't move, at first. Finally, she allowed her own arms to gradually slip around Kim's back, pulling her closer.
“Thank you…for everything,” Kim whispered in her ear. “Even the stuff I wasn't sure about at first. If things don't go the way we want them to, I'll never forget what you did for me, and I'll always be thankful I had you in my life.”
Shego ran her hand through Kim's hair, quickly, and only once. “You better go.”
Kim drew her head back slightly, but then she darted it forward, pressing her lips against the corner of Shego's mouth for a few endless seconds. When she drew back this time, however, her eyes were damp, and she quickly turned away.
Shego watched Kim run off with a warm, fuzzy sensation growing in her belly that felt nothing like butterflies. Eagles, maybe, but not butterflies. She stood there for several more minutes before her body would respond, and even then, all it could think to do was wipe away the single tear that had somehow ended up running down her cheek.
The End.
This turned out to be much longer than I expected. And it’s only convinced me to do at least one more story for the series. So here’s a preview of “On Board, Baby”.
Around two in the morning, the rain pounding on her window gradually turned into a rapid tapping, which then turned into outright knocking. Monique looked up to see the soaked face of Ron pressed against the window. She ran over and threw open the window, allowing Ron to stumble in and get rainwater all over her floor.
“Ron, what happened?” she asked as she pulled off his wet jacket. “Where's Kim?”
“We got…big trouble,” Ron gasped, still trying to catch his breath.
Monique suddenly noticed the oversized backpack on his back, especially when it shook slightly. “Oh, poor Rufus! He must be soaked!” She tore open the backpack and got the shock of her life.
Instead of the expected sight of a cold, wet naked role mat, what greeted Monique's widening eyes was a cold, wet two year-old girl. A very familiar looking two year-old girl, in fact.
“Oh my Lord,” she breathed. “Kim!”
The little girl blinked and turned startlingly green eyes on her. They lit up at once with recognition, and the girl's small, slightly chubby fingers reached out for her eagerly.
Monique carefully picked up the toddler and held her at arm's length. “Kim?” she whispered again, holding the girl closer to her face.
The toddler grabbed two small fistfuls of Monique's hair. “Mo-Mo!” she shrieked happily.
“Had a run-in with Professor Dementor,” Ron explained. “He shot KP with this funky ray, and the next thing I knew, she started shrinking. I got her out of there while he was doing the whole evil laugh, and we went straight to the nearest Smarty Mart, since none of her clothes would fit anymore.” He paused to take a breath. “Do you know how hard it is to dress a squirmy toddler while you're looking the other way? I swear I put the pink overalls on her backwards at least twice.”
Monique shook her head. “Ron, we have to tell Kim's mom.”
“What! NO! We can't tell Mrs. P! She'll kill me!”
“Ron, it wasn't your fault. And she's a brain surgeon! We have to know if this ray had any negative affects on poor Kim's brain! I mean, you see what it did to her body!”
“But I really think she's okay!” Ron argued weakly. “She knows us, she just translates everything into toddler talk. Here, I'll show you.” He waved to get Kim's attention. “Kimmie, who am I?” he asked, pointing at himself.
“Wonnie!” Kim squealed, bopping him on the nose with a little fist.
“OW!” Ron stepped back, clutching his nose. “And who's that?” he asked, pointing at Monique.
“MO-MO!” Kim cried loudly, waving her arms.
“And who fits in your pocket, huh?”
“Woofus!” Kim said proudly, beaming at him.
“See? She knows our names, she just can't say them right. Perfectly normal for a toddler, right? Right?”
“I guess,” Monique admitted. “But we need to know for sure that she's okay. This is Kim we're talking about, Ron. Do you really want to risk not knowing if something else is wrong?”
His face fell. “No,” he said quietly.
She patted his shoulder. “No one will blame you. Anyway, Kim's parents are at that big science conference in Washington, remember? They won't be back for a few days, so we've got some time to figure this all out. Call Wade and tell him everything that went down. I'll find some way to keep Kim entertained.”
Kim apparently liked the idea of being entertained, because she got so excited that she let herself go. Literally.
“I was wondering where she put that Mega Gulp from earlier,” Ron murmured hesitantly.
Monique glared at him. “You bought her clothes and a Mega Gulp, but no diapers!”
“Hey, the KP we know and love is potty trained! How was I supposed to know?”
“Ron, she's TWO!” Monique hissed. “EVERYTHING gets translated into toddler, not just words! Even if she knows better, she can't help it!”
“So what do we do?”
“YOU are going back to Smarty Mart for diapers and other assorted baby products. And call Wade, he should be able to help you come up with a shopping list. I'm going to get Kim cleaned up.”
“But…won't you have to…y'know…undress her?” Ron asked.
“Yeah. What's your point?” Monique asked.
“Won't that a be a little…awk-weird? I mean, it's still Kim.”
“Yes, but she's two. She needs this, and if I were hit by a baby ray, she'd do the same for me.”
“Okay, but how likely is that?”
“Ron, just go. I feel a headache coming on, and you don't want to be here when that happens.”
“Right. I'll just, uh, use the front door this time. Wet trees do not a good climbing tool make.” He hurried out of the room.
Monique sighed and looked into Kim's innocent eyes. “Kim, because you're two and you're my girl, I'll overlook this little accident. But in the future, let's try a little advance warning. You have to go, you let me know. Okay?”
“Okies,” Kim replied, looking as serious as a toddler could.
Monique shook her head. “I hope Wade figures this out fast. You are too cute, and I've got a bad feeling I could get used to this.”
Kim pulled open the big pocket on the front of her overalls. “Woofus sleep,” she said, revealing a snoring hairless rodent.
“I'm glad one of us is getting some sleep tonight,” Monique sighed. “Now let's hope changing diapers isn't as complicated as men make it seem…”
To Be Continued!