It's easy to think that, at that one critical moment of life changing importance, you'll know what to do. No one knows what to do. It's always a spur of the moment decision, a blurted out non-sequitor, just some random piece of nothingness that completely changes everything.
It's never predictable.
I've grown to hate them.
It's been a year since I started at Middleton College. I could have gone to any number of “elite” and “prestigious” colleges, but after my research, the only benefits to those would be if I wanted to run the world, not save it. Besides, with GJ helping to subsidy my Criminal Justice major, I really didn't have any problems. The 'rents had hired a manager to deal with the anonymous donations I'd received toward my college degree. From some of the questions from Mom and Dad's co-workers, I'm certain I know where some of that money came from.
Wade's still here. He's been working closer with GJ over the last year, still keeping me updated on everything. I sent him some video games a month ago. I'm sure he's finished them by now. I tried to get some that were supposed to be more devious. Love the kid, but he's a bit thick when it comes to criminal psychology.
He just sent me a new Kimmunicator two weeks ago. Some of the specs he told me sounded out there, but I'm willing to accept it. I trust his skill.
Ron got a scholarship to Upperton. He's here visiting constantly. He's actually supposed to show up tomorrow, after dinner. He just can't seem to get past his crippling Chimmirito addiction…
It didn't take us long to drift apart, even with as much as he visits. He's two hours away now - a lot harder to drop in unexpected. After the last storm, he couldn't visit for a week.
Monique actually got a scholarship to a Seven Sisters school. Everytime we chat, I tease her about exploring herself in new ways.
Imagine my surprise when she brought home a friend.
Ayeka is really charming, but quiet. It's really hard to tell what she's thinking. Somehow, she can make Monique blush like a schoolgirl.
Monique says they're just friends.
From the way they can't stay apart, and how Ayeka constantly keeps tabs on where Monique is at any given moment, I'd say if they aren't together by the next time I see them, they're bigger wusses than Ron at Camp Wannaweep.
I'd recognized their interaction easily. Ayeka's quiet. Not sure if I mentioned that. She's an observer. She notes everything. Monique notices everything, but she's in the thick of it. Ayeka's the root for Monique to return to when she's done flying around like a flower crazy bee. Monique can make her smile.
Ayeka has a really pretty smile. It makes her look…kind of rakish. The first time I saw it was Halloween. Monique had convinced Ayeka that they needed to be a pirate and a ninja - because everyone knows that they are sworn enemies.
That was the also the first time I ever heard Ayeka speak for more than a few sentences. Granted, it was because she launched on a rant about the blatant propaganda against the most Perfect Being in Existence, the Lesbian Vampire Ninja Pirate. Monique had only shook her head, grinning, as Ayeka proceeded to calmly, scientifically, explain how the precise balance of pirate and ninja within the Lesbian Vampire Ninja Pirate allowed such magnificent beings to possibly exist. The inner conflict between the ninja and the pirate served as an apt metaphor for the light and dark within a person's soul, battling constantly against each other for influence.
The words tumbled smoothly from her, her hands illustrating her points explosively in the air. I glanced at the insanely amused Monique. I supposed that Ayeka had gone off on this rant before.
When she'd stopped, she turned to me smoothly and apologized for going off. Still stunned, and now pondering the validity of Lesbian Vampire Ninja Pirates, I shook my head. I think she understood that I meant it was ok.
Of course, her entire rant was rendered moot by Monique's puppy eyes that she turned on Ayeka in the next instance…
I don't know if I've ever seen anyone crumble so fast.
Then she smiled.
It was kind of crooked, like half of her face didn't have the energy to pull her lips up into a full grin. Her dark eyes twinkled, promising dire consequences against Monique for breaking out the big guns. Her head cocked to the side slightly and the gentle raptness she directed toward Monique made everything about them as clear as the night sky.
No wonder Monique had already fallen hard for her.
They're supposed to visit again in another month, getting here just after Ron. We figured the four of us would spring break it by taking a road trip. In my Wade outfitted, mountain friendly SUV, of course. Never go mountain driving without it!
As for me, here in Middleton…it's been good. I still get called on assignments. GJ's been really good about not letting me get swamped. I guess that credit should really go to Wade. He's the one answering the emails, after all.
Emails like the one I got this morning.
Being a Wednesday, I only had two morning lecture classes, then from two on was my time. Wade had contacted me as I was walking between classes.
“What's the sitch?”
He grinned at me. “Private bodyguard contract, one night. Seems like someone's pissed off a certain scarred blue pseudoscientist and is taking his employee's threat seriously.”
“Shego.”
“Got it in one. In?”
“In. Time?”
“Five West Coast time. They're in Vegas right now, but are probably moving into LA or San Francisco by then.”
I smirked at the casual reference of extravagance. “It's always important to hit the tables when you've been threatened by someone who knows how to kill you and make it look like an accident.”
Wade shrugged. “There was something about a special anniversary at the Bellagio. I'll have your ride ready once English Lit's done.”
“Please and thank you.”
Class was mildly interesting. English Lit usually was. The TA would get in a rant every single time. This time, it was about John Donne's overuse of punctuation. I'd have that damn poem stuck in my head all night, semicolon, capital D.
Guess he'd caught that impromptu performance of “Wit” down at the Student Center yesterday…
I waved at a few faces I recognized as I left. I knew a lot of people, but I wasn't close to any of them. I didn't even have a roommate - I think someone helped convince the housing administration I didn't need one.
I left the building rapidly and pulled out the Kimmunicator, activating the link to Wade. “Ride?” Wade shook his head, dumbfounded and slightly pale. “What's up?”
“Uh…you need to read this.” He tapped a rapid sequence on his keyboard, forwarding an email to me. I tapped it and the text filled the screen, forcing his face to a small corner of the Kimmunicator. “Yo-you're not going anywhere today.”
Puzzled, I began to read. At first I wasn't surprised. It was pretty tame, average letter. Then I kept reading.
“Dear Kim,
You don't know me, but I know you.
We meet repeatedly, fighting each time. I can count the number of times we /haven't/ fought on one hand. If this were a normal relationship, I might be upset about that.
We've never had a normal relationship. You try to kill me. I try to kill you. We fight. We banter. Things explode.
None of it is traditionally normal.
I guess that's normal for us, then, since neither of us is traditionally normal. You're, well, you, and I'm…wondering why I'm even writing this.
It's been hard, telling myself that what I see in you is just the usual hero thing. It's nothing special. You're nothing special.
It's never been easy to convince myself of that. Maybe at first - but not now. You've become so much more to me than just another annoyance.
Somehow, you've actually managed to grow on me. I've been trying to convince myself that, too, is not what I think it is. That the things I want to do to you aren't explicitly illegal in over a dozen states and numerous countries.
No, it's not fucking murder.
It's worse.
It's some sort of twisted fascination.
I can't get you out of my head.
Shego”
Pale and trembling, I sat in the grass where I stood. The blades poked into my legs, protesting their abuse. “Wade?”
“It's legit. I tracked it to their latest hideout.” He shook his head. “It's going to hit the news soon.”
“You sent it to the news?!” I think my voice squeaked on that last word.
“No…she did.”
Scrambling to my feet, a plan formed in my head, sudden and crystalline. “Find out who got it. Get rid of the evidence. I don't want this getting out. Do whatever you have to, but do not let it get on the news!”
One of his eyebrows cocked up at my intense direction. “Your rep can handle this.”
Shaking my head, I couldn't look at him. “It's not me I'm worried about. Just do it. For me?”
A heavy sigh punctuated his next words. “You owe me.”
“Thanks.” Numbness was beginning to set in as I closed the link. Walking in silence toward my dorm, my thoughts whirled incessantly in my head. Was that letter a prank? Did she really send it? It was past the first, so it wasn't an April Fool's joke. Could she have possibly meant what she didn't say?
It wasn't a declaration of love. It was something far more primal.
The main thing bugging me about the letter was the date on it. It was dated on my last birthday. The amount of time was too much for it to be a spur of the moment thing, which means it had been written then and only just today sent.
Which meant she wasn't the one that sent it.
Which in all likelihood meant she didn't write it, either.
A buzzing vibration in my pocket snapped me out of my intense thoughts. I pulled out the Kimmunicator and selected my new text message from Wade.
“GJ just admitted asylum seeker Drakken. Will call with news later.”
He'd sent it.
I raised my gaze to the brick building before me, letting my eyes track over the solid ediface until I reached my window.
That meant she was waiting for me.
Well, shit.
I pushed on. No sense in delaying the inevitable.
She knew I'd read it and I'd know who sent it. She'd know that I'd know it wasn't her that had written it. What could she gain from visiting me?
I found out the moment I entered my room. It was dim, the blinds blocking out most of the afternoon light. She sat on my bed, her back resting against the wall and her legs extended out before her.
I shut the door quietly, watching her with an outward calm I didn't quite feel.
“Hello, Shego.”
She shot a crooked grin at me.
No wonder I'd thought Ayeka had looked rakish.
“Hello there, Princess. You read-”
I interrupted her. I couldn't help it. I don't know what she would have said there and I don't want to find out. “The letter? Yes. I also heard Drakken's in jail. I'm guessing the two are related.”
She shrugged, pulling her legs into her body to sit upright. “Yes and no.”
“It either is or it isn't.”
Shego shook her head, a rueful grin curving her lips. “He knew better than to dare to touch my stuff. It wasn't until after he'd…left that I found out what he'd done on my computer.”
I shrugged. “I'd figured it could be chalked up to Drakken's petulant three year old side.”
She wouldn't meet my gaze. I was giving her a clear out that she was refusing to take.
There was something more.
“He…didn't write the letter.” I hate being right.
“You did.”
Looking across the room to a bare spot on the wall, she ignored my statement. “I was…surprised…that he hadn't chosen one of the…other…letters.”
Shaking my head, I tried to make her stumbling words make sense. “Wait, you wrote more letters? What did they say?”
“Depends on when I wrote them, Princess.” Her sneer had to be a cover. She couldn't just…I don't know.
That letter meant something, it had to. There was too much…something for it to be meaningless.
“How long?” That wasn't what I'd meant to say. Shit!
She shrugged, refusing to look at me. “A while. Does it really matter?” She snorted a laugh. “Don't think so.”
“It matters to me.” She glanced at me, her expression revealing nothing that I could read. She watched me for a moment before looking away again.
“Before you graduated.”
God, that was irritating. “Why?”
“How am I supposed to answer that?”
“With the truth, maybe!” I don't know why I was getting so mad. She always managed to do that to me. Right now, every movement, every breath was getting further and further under my skin.
“How the hell am I supposed to know? It just happened, I don't know when or why! One day I woke up and thought to myself, 'Gee, boning Kim Possible until she passes out sounds like a really good idea,' that's what happened!” Her eyes glittered with restrained anger, her cheeks flushed.
She looked beautiful.
Not letting myself dwell on that thought, I pushed on, blindly seeking something, though I hadn't the faintest idea of what it was. “Is that what's in all those mystery letters that you're not going to show me? Your adolescent fantasies?”
I almost expected her to leap at me, her energy coursing over me with waves of heat as we'd exchange heavy blows.
Instead, she laughed.
Rumbling low, her laughter split her face into a dark grin. “My fantasies are anything but adolescent, Princess.” She rose from my bed in a smooth movement, looking down at me slightly from her grand two inches that she had on me. “If you weren't such a prude, I might show you.”
“I'm not a prude!” She laughed at me. Again. My fury was sudden and intense, blinding me to anything beyond the immediate moment. My hands gripped her shoulders briefly as I pushed her roughly, following her down onto the softness of my bed.
Startled by my aggression, she remained still beneath me as I shifted up her body and brutally captured her mouth in a bruising farce of a kiss. Hard and rough, it was unlike anything I'd experienced before. Her body was firm and solid beneath me, supporting my weight easily, cushioning me with unexpected softness. I distinctly felt the swell of her breasts against mine, and the slide of my leg between hers was insanity. I gentled the kiss deliberately, unknowing and uncaring of why. I had to know what her response tasted like.
She lay passively beneath me, allowing me to punish her mouth as I saw fit.
Somewhere along the way, it ceased being punishment.
I almost moaned as I felt the first movement of her lips against my own, the illicit pleasure sweet in it's forbidden nature. I was kissing Shego.
Heat burned through me, all I could do was wrap my arms around Shego's head and hold her for a deeper kiss. She stiffened briefly when my tongue sought entrance, but she acquiesced almost immediately. Hesistant surety met me, never pushing me farther than I was leading. I plundered her mouth as desire made my limbs heavy and my heart race.
I'd forgotten why I'd started this. Her hands remained on the bed, twitching against my knees as she fought the urge to map my body with her palms.
Grinning, I pulled away from her decadent mouth and stared down at her.
She watched me quietly, calmly, her kiss swollen lips the only evidence of how thoroughly I'd proven my point…which suddenly came rushing back to me, bringing with it righteous indignation.
I think it was unwarranted. Didn't stop me, though.
“Why didn't you /tell/ me?!” Hmm. I probably shouldn't have shouted that into her face. It's not really like she's going to be going anywhere right now.
Her frown matches her shout as she glares up me, her anger making her blurt the truth mindlessly. “I didn't want you to know!” She closed her eyes as the realization of what she'd admitted out loud swept over her. She turned her face away as she repeated her words in a scant whisper. “I didn't want you to know.”
“That really does a lot of good now, doesn't it?” I don't know why I was baiting her so badly. Maybe it was deserved. I don't think it was. Maybe it was the anger and shock of finding this out so suddenly. I opened my mouth to continue berating her.
“Kim, do me a favor and shut the fuck up.” She didn't open her eyes, keeping her face turned away from me. I stared at her for a long moment, acutely aware of the press of my body against hers. My attention was rapt on her face as I became enlightened to the heat that I had my thigh firmly wedged against.
I flexed my leg.
I couldn't help it.
She gasped, turning her head to glare at me. “Don't fucking toy with me, Possible.” My world spun as she flipped me, pressing me onto the bed in a mirror of the position I'd just held her in. The hard muscle of her thigh brought it into stark relief that she'd had just as much of an effect on me as I'd had on her. She moved slightly and I shuddered, my brain shutting down at the whirling insanity of what she'd elicited from me.
Then her weight was gone. Blinking, I looked for her, finding her glaring at me from the doorway.
“You've had your fun Possible. Now just leave me alone and we'll forget this ever happened.”
She spun and fled my room. Dazed, I pulled myself up from the bed to try to chase after her, only to fall back onto the mattress as I realized the futility.
Holy shit.
I was screwed.
-end-